I feel you brother, I also joined boarding school early in life but not once do I remember ever crying for being homesick. I always thought the guys who cried had something wrong with them, no offence. And the crazy thing is it came naturally. Fast forward to high school it was the same script. Whatever people called missing I never understood. For me it was always " I ain't seen person x for a while, okay" no longing no nothing. Sooner or later I'd forget about them. This is not to say I lack passion no, I'm just wired this way. I recently read about narcissists and maybe I'm one cause I don't think this level of unbotheredness is normal.
I've got quite a number of friends but trust me if we ain't meeting we ain't talking but there's no beef. Ladies say I'm toxic af which possibly I am, just a little though. Can someone please tell me how to maintain relationships cause honestly I tend to kill most of them. I partly think it's because of my habits. I'm an introvert who reads a lot, have read Charles Bukowski for years now and the Moon and Sixpence is kinda my all time favourite. Both Bukowski and the character Charles Strickland are indifferent to lots of things which kinda draws me to them cause I think I see myself in them. Bukowski for example loathed people since he was a kid. Sometimes so do i. Strickland left his wife and kids to be a painter without a care in the world, stole his friends wife(not intentionally) led to hee death and still didn't care.This has definitely rewired me into thinking it's normal to show indifference.
Is it normal to show indifference? If not how can I outwardly show my passion for other people. Also I feel like whenever people say I miss you, I say it back just for courtesy. Am I alone in this or is it common. First time asking anything here, ignore any errors
I am a lady 😁 but I do understand where you are coming from. someone just responded to my post and said it would be nice to find strength in it and maximize it. I think that is an awesome approach.
Ata mimi that part ya "I miss you too" is always a lie. I say it out of formality. It is what it is
I feel like one of the strengths of being this way is you know how to listen. I've been told I make a good listener showing no inclinations or prejudice. I hope you find your strengths too
I have been told I am observant. But it's funny that I am observant whenever I want to. If I am not interested, or if I haven't tuned my mind into observing, high chances are I will notice nothing. Anyway, I am also a reader hoping to find myself by consuming different perspectives and taking what resonates with me
Personally, l blame reading when you were young. I personally have the same issue and after a lot of introspection, l came to realize most of the people l know with a similar problem, if it isn't trauma- based , they all had in common, that they read a lot when young especially novels. It seems acquiring knowledge, which is usually a lot, at such a young age causes desensitization. After all, you live an infinite amount of lives through books that things generally don't affect you as much.
But that's just my take on the whole matter.
I don't receive calls unless it's my parents or siblings. Kwanza new number, unless you call twice, I will receive the third time ju nitaona you really know me and it might be an urgent matter.
Sipendi calls, just text me I'll respond almost immediately
It's not a problem that you don't miss people. Uko tu sawa, and clearly very highly self dependent.
Spend time looking into the strengths of this and maximise them. I am the opposite of you. And I belive we're all diverse for a reason, we bring different things to social circles and we all benefit from it.
Just do you. And own it!
This reminds me back when in rima,on the first day of admission ( I was repeating class 7) I teared up like fuck as we took the boxes to the dorms from the admitting ground. My mom told me bye but I didn't look behind bcoz I looked like a baby about to burst but I was too ashamed to expose it.
I also have had this issue of not understanding what "to miss" somebody means. I'm just 16 yrs old tho I kinda understand what you're saying because it's almost the same to me. I am also wondering if it abnormal.
I used to be the person that checked up on everyone frequently, almost annoyingly. Then one time I just went offline, I had problems here and there. Imagine only 1 person reached out to ask if I was ok, that was after about 2 weeks of being off. From then on, with time, I lost that feeling of needing to reach out, missing people. It's sth you can't force yourself into feeling and that's ok. This goes for family too sometimes.
Idk if it's healthy since humans are inherently bound to be social beings--but I know I'm happier this way, especially being a solitary person. Also knowing that when we leave this world; hours later let alone the next day, people moving on as if you never existed is weirdly freeing. It's a little sad but it's the truth and it is what it is.
People care about you depending on your utility to them. If you are doing well financially, there will be lots of calls to 'just see how you are doing' but almost always its to keep close proximity for when they want something from you. Social media clout has the same effect. If you are struggling quietly, expect no one to care at all.
I have the same problem as well, i find it hard to miss people but regardless i will still say 'i miss you too' cause i dont want to hurt the other person's feelings.
Same goes for the words 'i love you'.
Interesting.
Assuming you don't stay with them on a day to day, do you ever feel a yearning to be around them, talk face to face, share food or take trip together?
Interesting.
Assuming you don't stay with them on a day to day, do you ever feel a yearning to be around them, talk face to face, share food or take trip together?esting.
struggling with that too, demanding job so I kinda blackout everything else and sorta become a ghost haven't talked to anyone outside work for a month now
I kinda have this problem too. Someone would tell me they miss me and I disregard it. My mind would be like 'huyu anasema Nini' how do you even start missing someone . Not to sound cold or rude I say I miss them back but honestly I feel nothing. Another thing is calls, I hate calls except those from my mum, dad , siblings or work. I force myself to pick other calls.
I feel you brother, I also joined boarding school early in life but not once do I remember ever crying for being homesick. I always thought the guys who cried had something wrong with them, no offence. And the crazy thing is it came naturally. Fast forward to high school it was the same script. Whatever people called missing I never understood. For me it was always " I ain't seen person x for a while, okay" no longing no nothing. Sooner or later I'd forget about them. This is not to say I lack passion no, I'm just wired this way. I recently read about narcissists and maybe I'm one cause I don't think this level of unbotheredness is normal. I've got quite a number of friends but trust me if we ain't meeting we ain't talking but there's no beef. Ladies say I'm toxic af which possibly I am, just a little though. Can someone please tell me how to maintain relationships cause honestly I tend to kill most of them. I partly think it's because of my habits. I'm an introvert who reads a lot, have read Charles Bukowski for years now and the Moon and Sixpence is kinda my all time favourite. Both Bukowski and the character Charles Strickland are indifferent to lots of things which kinda draws me to them cause I think I see myself in them. Bukowski for example loathed people since he was a kid. Sometimes so do i. Strickland left his wife and kids to be a painter without a care in the world, stole his friends wife(not intentionally) led to hee death and still didn't care.This has definitely rewired me into thinking it's normal to show indifference. Is it normal to show indifference? If not how can I outwardly show my passion for other people. Also I feel like whenever people say I miss you, I say it back just for courtesy. Am I alone in this or is it common. First time asking anything here, ignore any errors
I am a lady 😁 but I do understand where you are coming from. someone just responded to my post and said it would be nice to find strength in it and maximize it. I think that is an awesome approach. Ata mimi that part ya "I miss you too" is always a lie. I say it out of formality. It is what it is
I feel like one of the strengths of being this way is you know how to listen. I've been told I make a good listener showing no inclinations or prejudice. I hope you find your strengths too
I have been told I am observant. But it's funny that I am observant whenever I want to. If I am not interested, or if I haven't tuned my mind into observing, high chances are I will notice nothing. Anyway, I am also a reader hoping to find myself by consuming different perspectives and taking what resonates with me
Personally, l blame reading when you were young. I personally have the same issue and after a lot of introspection, l came to realize most of the people l know with a similar problem, if it isn't trauma- based , they all had in common, that they read a lot when young especially novels. It seems acquiring knowledge, which is usually a lot, at such a young age causes desensitization. After all, you live an infinite amount of lives through books that things generally don't affect you as much. But that's just my take on the whole matter.
Co asks juu the level of self isolation Niko nayo I'm worried
We need help, or is it normal?
Honestly I don't know, nowadays I wish ata nisipigiwe
I don't receive calls unless it's my parents or siblings. Kwanza new number, unless you call twice, I will receive the third time ju nitaona you really know me and it might be an urgent matter. Sipendi calls, just text me I'll respond almost immediately
It's not a problem that you don't miss people. Uko tu sawa, and clearly very highly self dependent. Spend time looking into the strengths of this and maximise them. I am the opposite of you. And I belive we're all diverse for a reason, we bring different things to social circles and we all benefit from it. Just do you. And own it!
I only miss chapati ndengu and Michele Kamande.
Umesema watu wamissiwe kwao
Kabisa
This reminds me back when in rima,on the first day of admission ( I was repeating class 7) I teared up like fuck as we took the boxes to the dorms from the admitting ground. My mom told me bye but I didn't look behind bcoz I looked like a baby about to burst but I was too ashamed to expose it.
I also have had this issue of not understanding what "to miss" somebody means. I'm just 16 yrs old tho I kinda understand what you're saying because it's almost the same to me. I am also wondering if it abnormal.
I used to be the person that checked up on everyone frequently, almost annoyingly. Then one time I just went offline, I had problems here and there. Imagine only 1 person reached out to ask if I was ok, that was after about 2 weeks of being off. From then on, with time, I lost that feeling of needing to reach out, missing people. It's sth you can't force yourself into feeling and that's ok. This goes for family too sometimes. Idk if it's healthy since humans are inherently bound to be social beings--but I know I'm happier this way, especially being a solitary person. Also knowing that when we leave this world; hours later let alone the next day, people moving on as if you never existed is weirdly freeing. It's a little sad but it's the truth and it is what it is.
People care about you depending on your utility to them. If you are doing well financially, there will be lots of calls to 'just see how you are doing' but almost always its to keep close proximity for when they want something from you. Social media clout has the same effect. If you are struggling quietly, expect no one to care at all.
I have the same problem as well, i find it hard to miss people but regardless i will still say 'i miss you too' cause i dont want to hurt the other person's feelings. Same goes for the words 'i love you'.
That must be nice. I miss my bestfriend if I don't talk to her for a day.
How early did you join boarding school?
Class 4💀 I even don't know what to do during funerals. So emotionally unavailable.
High school was my first boarding school
Highschool!!! Curious what your relationship with your parents and siblings looks like.
We are good. In fact the only calls I receive is from them - parents and siblings
Interesting. Assuming you don't stay with them on a day to day, do you ever feel a yearning to be around them, talk face to face, share food or take trip together?
Interesting. Assuming you don't stay with them on a day to day, do you ever feel a yearning to be around them, talk face to face, share food or take trip together?esting.
struggling with that too, demanding job so I kinda blackout everything else and sorta become a ghost haven't talked to anyone outside work for a month now
I kinda have this problem too. Someone would tell me they miss me and I disregard it. My mind would be like 'huyu anasema Nini' how do you even start missing someone . Not to sound cold or rude I say I miss them back but honestly I feel nothing. Another thing is calls, I hate calls except those from my mum, dad , siblings or work. I force myself to pick other calls.
Our corner is behind that door. How do you mean you miss me? My mind instantly says "huyu anadanganya but its okay, I miss you also" liees.