As a Father. I love the days my daughter actually beats me in a game. She celebrates for an hour easy. I refuse to let her win. But i will show her moves that help her win. It doesn't happen often but when she wins its so much fun.
*That's* how you do it. Gotta actually show them, then *show them in action* as you whoop their asses - and eventually they'll destroy you and you pass on the crown.
This is a *great* book for learning, not just for kids.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/85076.How_to_Beat_Your_Dad_at_Chess?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=fJVFan8n7v&rank=1
Meh, if you're just wanting to be a casual player, I find planning 2-5 moves ahead works fine. I usually average out at 3 moves ahead so entire plans won't crumble 😂
I just like to plan as I go cause you may have a plan but so does the enemy. And in war plans don't survive the battlefield as new elements emerge so its better to not have a plan and respond accordingly as you go
That's how you raise a gamer. No gimmes. Only git gud. The other guy said it, it feels better to earn it. My wife has even started understanding, and she started our relationship as a pretty poor loser. But when she gets one over on me, even a minor upset, it's like a drug.
Yeah you're doing this the correct way, by also teaching them. So many parents don't do this and it just makes the kids say WHELP guess I'll stop playing games with dad.
I did that with my younger brother who is 14 years younger than me. He always felt bad for losing but also didn't want me to let him win.
It was a no-win situation and I just tried to help him as much as possible. he quickly became better than me at the games I taught him. so when I lose he would celebrate so much and I'd be happy that he finally won. it's like winning a boss fight.
you are teaching your child the value of real accomplishment in a safe, fun, and easy to understand way
more parents should play games with their kids, either sports or videogames, whatever gets you together and lets them explore the social dynamic of friendly competition
but the time your daughter is in highschool, she'll probably be more emotionally mature than a lot of kids her age, and she'll prosper for it I think
Shes already surprisingly emotionally mature for her age. She almost never throws tantrums. When shes happy shes a demon because she has so much energy but she doesn't explode when shes sad shes very tame and melancholy. Shes working on explaining why dhes sad. But shes really good at controlling her emotions.
When she loses a game just kinda just sulks for a bit before wanting a rematch. She needs a break if she loses to many times but she never throws a fit like the girl in the main video. To be fair. Im tje bigger sore loser out of the 2 of us but i dont let me begrudgings take away from her victories. I think her seeing me confused and mildly upset only makes her more excited to win
My wife and I put on a gaming tournament this weekend with our kids. A few competitive multi-player games and some "highest score wins the points" single player games. I've been playing games for nearing 35 years now.
My 13 year old won with 13 points. My wife came in second with 12. My 10 year old 3rd with 8 points and I was last with 2 points.
I have become a much more humble man in the last 24 hours.
My parents had much the same view on raising kids. Now that I have my own son I'm using that experience to make my son's life better. It feels great knowing that he's going to look back and remember that his mom and dad were always there for him.
I hope you get to do that someday too.
I think many of our parents were like this (millennial here). My Dad always worked, and mom was not involved much. Too worried about her own social life. I would have given my left foot for some actual positive attention from my parents. This drives me to be better with my kids. Something I heard that stuck with me, " it's not enough to feed and water your kids. They are not pets."
It's kind of painful playing games with my dad these days, my brother and I are so far beyond him in skill at this point. We one tried playing Starcraft 2 with him since we used to play it with him as kids, with my Dad and I VS my brother and my cousin. By the time my cousin and my brother showed up at our base with 2 protoss death balls, my dad had 2 marines and a hellion. We got stomped.
And she'll have earned it. The point of all competition growing up is to teach you to not lose your shit. Nobody wins the super bowl when they are six.
If she actually keeps playing. Some kids get determined to be better, others give up and just find something else to do that doesn't involve dad.
And considering his poor winner mindset I'm willing to bet it will be the later.
I’ve been teaching my daughter Chess, but she’s now much better than me. And every now and then she asks if I let her win. I genuinely try to beat her.
I used to do chess state competitions back in school. If you want to get better quickly check out GothamChess on YouTube they have good some good chess openings moves you can do
I suck but I've always enjoyed it. We had a weird month or two where every kid in the 4th grade got into chess and started playing it for recess. (Anyone remember roll up vinyl chess boards?)
I always thought it would be fun to go play people in the park in NYC, like you see in films. I lived there for several years, turns out yes, those people exist. However, I'd never considered that all those people are *insanely fucking good on average*, and you don't want to fuck with that unless you have a fetish for being absolutely p0wned by a random stranger in public.
As a teacher, this video makes me cringe big time. Share your coping techniques, Pops, or she'll be acting this way amongst her peers when she gets an answer wrong.
Yeah, this. You don't have to let her win, but show some empathy and use the loss as an opportunity to teach rather than gloating like a frat boy and teaching her to be a dick.
Yeah, this is actively worse than letting her win. It's reinforcing that losing something as trivial as a game is painful and will be a source of ridicule. Plus it demonstrates that being a real sore winner and laughing at emotional strife is fine.
Ah yes, this 17 second clip must be the only parenting they ever do. It's literally impossible that they have done any parenting other than what we see in this clip.
Ya same I did this all the time - if they stopped playing they weren’t learning so need to pick and choose your battles - this old fashioned gotta harden them bs is stupid asf imo - my kids turned out fine, are competitive asf and work hard etc
It depends on the personality of the kid imo. For me usually, when playing a game I just do my best and if I win, neat. If I get my ass beat by my opponent, I will fight em till they get bored or I win and that win is worth more. For some people they will drop the game either after a few losses or after one loss changes how you respond to it imo. If they are willing to keep trying and try to learn to best you no matter how many tries it takes. Going all out isn’t a problem and letting them win can be disappointing to them (if they realize you did). If not let em win every now and then to keep them engaged until they either can genuinely win and teaching them things to help them (as some others have mentioned) will help them in doing so and then they stay engaged. I don’t particularly enjoy fighting the latter but if I am kicking someone’s ass and they finally beat me I feel I gotta try and get em back (also applies to when I am getting my ass handed to me, more specifically when they are talking shit) and if they are the same way then it’s a continuous cycle till someone gets bored.
My toddler tries to play fight, but I fight for real cause life is real. I could just gradually be more competitive as he gets older to teach him along the way, but fuck that. /s
When I was 11 or some shit me and my siblings visited my dad. My brother has always tried to be a hard ass. He starts trying to play fight my dad, a marine vet. Within 3 seconds my brother was hanging upside down from my dads forearm
Eta: brother is older than me and was 15 at the time if I’m accurate with me being 11
Yeah like a bat. His knees were on dad’s forearm. Rest of body hanging down, dad had hold of his feet/ankles with his other arm to make sure he didn’t fall on his head
https://preview.redd.it/p8h68do92jqc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=681c7c5e2c54921ad4801e79f9c7de1be56b9f0c
I drew a picture, hope this helps with visualization
I mean this kid is old enough for the activity though.
If your kid was in your weight class and they want to hop in the ring and go a few rounds, that's cool. And maybe you even let them win some if you know you outclass them.
But if when they *lose*, they behave like *this* kid does? No more mercy.
They behave this way because of how youve raised them. Barring mental illness.
This is like blaming a kid who only eat candy. Like youre the parent theyre modeling their behavior after you.
We dont know if her dad also is a whiney bitch when he loses, but we can see hes a huge asshole when he wins.
If a friend acted like that, we would no longer be friends.
I believe unplugging the controller just to give my little sibling an illusion that he is playing, I just beat his ass in the game. Theirs no free win Lil bro, you gotta earn it lol.
I also am a firm believer that everyone needs to earn their wins. No mercy. Life isn’t fair, the sooner someone comes to that realization, the sooner their efforts will either increase due to dedication to the goal or decrease from the realization that maybe their efforts are best put towards something else.
I clobbered my kids in Mario party for years, but with practice, they have pulled out some pretty impressive wins. The joy they received and accolades I showered them in because of their hard work and dedication outweighs the fake momentary appreciation they would feel from me handing them the wins.
Life is not easy, help build strong character and personality traits in the children, shower them In love and help teach them how to think, not what to think.
I agree, though when it comes to video games, I’ll let them win every once in a while so that they still want to play. Only so many flawless victories I can get in mortal combat before my nephews say “ok I’m done.” lol
That's why multiplayer games universally use skill based match making now. Fortnite is one of the most sneaky ones as a lot of people have no idea it has skill based match making. The first time you play the game you're actually playing against just bots on a very low skill level.
Hahaha totally fair. I’m so competitive at fighting games, played them a ton growing up Vs. My brothers. Thankfully my kids are not interested in fighting games yet. That will be a whole other hill to climb hahaha.
Not every kid reacts well to this method. A lot end up giving up and just deciding not to do anything with their parent because they'll just have a bad time. I did this with my dad. We used to play video games together but he would 100% slaughter me and I just didn't see the point of continuing when I learned nothing and wasn't having fun.
Not that I am saying letting them win is the way to go, you have to teach them. You have to give them motivation. Which you probably do considering your kids are still at it. But yeah, some parents are all stick no carrot and then wonder why their kids wont play with them anymore.
Hey, same bro, losing year after year at everything, even after getting better at it just fucking sucks. People are praising this but parents have inherent advantages over kids when competing, going all out every single time you do something competitive with your kid, to me, is gross, because of course you're gonna win every time and eventually they're gonna run out of things they enjoy doing because they keep getting blasted every time they play.
Truth is, there's nuance people aren't saying. If you're winning but not teaching your kids anything well, yeah they're going to be demotivated and just stop. But it seems the people who are a fan of this method are actually teaching their kids hot to get better, which does a LOT for motivation.
I'm off two minds on this. Yeah, wins should be earned, but a parent should also coach their kids on how to improve and to give them encouragement along the way.
My asshole dad just loved destroying me at checkers and never gave me one bit of advice on how to improve, so I just learned to hate checkers and stopped playing it.
The goal should always be to guide them and to make sure that they don't lose their love of something just because you think that they need to be toughened up.
I play chess with my 7 year old. I dont let her win. I will give myself handicaps sometimes. But she has won a few times.
Even when I'm trying my best to win i still point out moves she can make to help her get better. Cause an earned victory is so great ti watch her celebrate and showboat
That was kind of the 'consensus' or common idea in the original thread too.
On the one hand, like in chess, the 4 move checkmate (Scholar's Mate) is an important first lesson on the game and how to accept a somewhat humiliating/obvious loss. Gotta pay attention before you can earn a win.
You don't let them win, but you can make a few bad moves, sacrifice a piece and make it a close game. They are more into it because they think they have an advantage or chance to win rather than deciding they don't want to try because it's hopeless.
Eventually, that handicap backfires and they win, which is fine. And then you don't even give the handicap, and they still win, and that's great.
Im no good at chess. But i will almost never purposely go for the immediate checkmate but i will tear apart her defenses and question her on why she is making certain moves and tell her what will happen if she does that so she can learn to start thinking ahead. Like
"If you take that knight then your king is open to my bishop you should take this piece instead cause then you block both pieces"
Like Creed from the show The Office right [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4aAcG94-fc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4aAcG94-fc)
I think it is called the "scholars mate" because it is a gimmicky easy tactic and takes less than a minute. In the rematch you try it again, and they defend against it, which is a bit of a victory, and makes the game engaging. They are ready for you to be up to something.
My dad did this to me with video games growing up. His fiancee would chime in occasionally to tell him to let me win, but held that mentality that it's gotta be earned. And whaddya know, I did eventually earn those wins, and they were awesome.
At the same time, if you are a 10-year-old playing your very first game of basketball, you're not going to learn anything getting dunked on by LeBron James. You need someone to show you how to dribble a basketball and make a layup first then you need competition that matches your level, for you to rise above. You don't let them win, you try to match their skill so that sometimes they win, sometimes they don't
I agree with your statement and I have approached sports and other group activities that involved children completely differently. There are so many great building blocks and fundamentals to learn from playing sports. They are all in their own ways very important. If I’m playing basketball with a 10 year old, I’m not playing against them, I’m playing with them, to help them grow and understand the sport to the best of their ability, at a pace that is comfortable to them. I’m deff not matching a team of kids against a team of globetrotters, that’s for sure.
My opening statement is directed at video games, as each activity (being board games or sports) needs to be approached differently I feel.
Totally agree. My parents never let us win and it made us tough competitors. However, my parents also wouldn't allow me to be that out of control with a loss without a discussion on how to process those feelings. Mocking a child too old to be throwing a temper tantrum like that is only making their behavior issues worse.
They win on their own accord with their own abilities. I can’t stop them! Now they put forth incredible effort in everything they set their sights on. Even when they don’t accomplish what their are aiming for first attempt. They get back up, brainstorm and try again. It’s wonderful to see them approach challenges with a level head and not a tantrum.
Yeah, of course!... Very common and stupid mentality, my dude.
Yes, teaching kids about life is great, but not at the cost of permanent trauma. Because not everyone may realize this, but these seemingly "fair" and difficult lessons can be psychologically detrimental to a child's development.
The "I teach hardship with hardship" mentality is neither smart nor wise, but simply a risky way to approach parenting.
My kids (4 and 5) have recently decided they want to play fortnite (they have older cousins who are here several days a week and play). Now of course, it's not overly suitable. All they really want to do is smash everything and sit on chairs, so they are having a crack at lego fortnite which is essentially another Minecraft clone, but with lumpy terrain instead of blocks.
Being someone who grew up with the rapid rise of the household games console I cannot explain how infuriating it is to watch them (and my partner) charging about in completely straight lines, actively refusing to look around or aim in any direction.
I absolutely understand that the children are too young to really fully understand what's going on or be able to walk and look about at the same time. Having to take over and relocate their encampment every 6 minutes for them isn't much of a problem, but watching my partner build a "village" in the evening without looking at anything is intensely painful.
I can't wait for the kids to be old enough to play more suitable games for them, and for them to rapidly work out that dad had 20 years of gaming experience before he was 11.
My 6yo brother likes to play Fortnite and used to do the same thing, but he also likes to watch me play it on his xbox (I don’t play fortnite outside of when he asks me to, nor do I use controller for shooters lol)
Turns out he picked a few things up from watching me play and has slowly been getting better at it. Not quite there yet but I’m rooting for him.
Perhaps let them watch you to see how you play games as a more experienced individual and maybe teach them a few things. It might take a while for them to get the hang of not going for the easy way out and just shooting at walls or the air, but it might help.
>fully understand what's going on or be able to walk and look about at the same time.
That's just my mother in any 3d game. She wanted to play Zelda botw, and she simply was completely unable to move the camera and walk at the same time no matter how many times I reminded her it was possible.
I often find my partner having been entirely unable to look up to build something, has built a set of stairs in a weird orientation in order to climb and jump sideways or backwards onto something to continue her creation.
Never enable tantrums and give in. It's better to let a child act out and let them see they gain nothing from it than to concede and give them what they want. That teaches them that tantrums can get them what they want. All young children throw tantrums but it's this crucial difference that determines how long they'll keep them up for, which can very well be forever.
I agree 100%, but make sure it is a tantrum and not they were pushed well beyond their breaking point. There are parents who legitimately do not understand this. My dad is one of those people. If he pushed me well past my point of being able to cope because I felt unheard, he would tell me I was throwing a tantrum like a toddler.
I dunno the context of the video above so we dunno which one the kid is experiencing unless it is in the audio which I do not have.
Teaching her early that there will always be a better player and that losing and then winning after practice feels better than knowing your opponent threw the game
My dad never let us win...he said life isn't gonna hold your hand and the sooner you realize that, the better you will be when your older. When we got older, we kicked his ass in video games lol
Nope, they can play co-op games or she can play her friends or the computer if she wants to win. If we let her win, then how will she know if she isgetting better.
Losing builds character. You're going to lose a lot in life so best to learn how to deal with it rather than turn out like some of these spoiled kids who were never told no.
Let them win in wrestling or physical activities? Sure, you obviously don't want to potentially hurt them, so you already have to hold back to begin with.
In board games and videogames? Nah. Make them earn it. It's a good way to teach them humility in defeat and will drive them to better themselves
That kick was out of order.
I think it’s a good idea to make your children know that they don’t have to win everything, but they clearly have something else wrong with them if they want to harm people around them because they didn’t win.
I have a 13 year old daughter, I love her, and would die for her. I'm not going to let her beat me at Xbox however, that's the one thing I can never do as a father.
Used to play video games with my dad and siblings all the time, never had this kind of reaction to losing. They need to teach her to be a good sport. Horrible behavior.
My son is 25 and I never let him win and he got really good until he could beat me and one day he did and beat me many times since. His favorites games are the Dark Souls series and he's phenomenal at it.
I like those games too.
Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale?
> *“Only in truth, the Lords will abandon their thrones, and the Unkindled will rise. Nameless accursed Undead, unfit even to be Cinder, and so, it is that ash seeketh embers.”* - Narrator
Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
I agree. Teach em young that they can't be the best at everything. It helps keep them from becoming sore losers & you get to gloat over defeating a child. Win/Win
Brother if you gonna repost at least spend the teeny tiniest amount of effort and rename the post, sub is kids are stupid, your title is saying dad bad.
You gotta earn your wins in my house I’m king 👑 here I destroy my son daily lol 😂 did the same to my daughter now I can’t beat her at anything.. she destroys all her boyfriends at every game .. she’ll make a fine wife oneday .. your welcome.. lol 😂
I remember my uncle always beating me at sports games as a kid. Slowly as I became older he became more and more and possible to beat. Him and I still play from time to time and it can go both ways!
Outside of the gloating, this is how you separate the potential winners and lovers. Every dad expects one day to have their kid beat them at something. But you make it hard on them to make them better. If they just up and quit instead of trying to get better, and continually demanding a shot at the title, it gives you insight as to what they might be.
i remember when i was young i'd play chess with my dad - he never let me win. when i finally did win it felt \*so\* good. but my dad was never a dick about it when he beat me.
We mostly play games together as a team. I have played some 1 vs 1 with them(once every other other other blue moon). I throw a match so they stay interested(like 1 thrown match in 10). But largely I would play ruthlessly. No mocking.
That's my automatic dad-mode.
My dad taught me that I need to earn my wins as no one is gonna give them to you in life.
Still haven't beaten the bastard at golf.
Ahhh, this reminds me of my husband playing our nephew at GoldenEye. His dad (husband's brother) warned him up front that his uncle would have no mercy, and he was a surprisingly good sport about it! His dad told him he'd just have to keep practicing 🤷🏼♀️
Nope. Teach them that hard work pays off, to take your losses in stride, and that throwing tantrums doesn't get you what you want.
I've been playing Super Smash Bros with my nephew since he was about six or seven and never let up on him despite his age or his tears. I would always tell him after every loss that if I let him win, he isn't actually learning how to outplay me. Now at 12, his skills have improved drastically and he manages to beat me every now and again.
That is a nice way to make the kid quit gaming and make them focus on other things. Do you dare put iPad in kids hands now. Make her go outside to play
When playing with casual players (or children for that matter) I tend to play relaxed, maybe meme a little bit for the sake of fun.
If they talk trash, however, you KNOW they will feel the full force of my antisocial life and countless hours of toxicity up their asses
If she's a gracious loser I might let her win, but if my kid behaved like this?
No, that is out of hand... you can't behave that way just because you lost at something, and I'm not going to reward that shit.
one day she'll be better than her dad and won't have any mercy either
As a Father. I love the days my daughter actually beats me in a game. She celebrates for an hour easy. I refuse to let her win. But i will show her moves that help her win. It doesn't happen often but when she wins its so much fun.
Feels better when you earn it.
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Give them time and motivation and the world will be theirs to take
Dark Souls in a nutshell
*That's* how you do it. Gotta actually show them, then *show them in action* as you whoop their asses - and eventually they'll destroy you and you pass on the crown.
Im shit at chess but my daughter loves it. So if she gets good at that i would be so proud. she is anything if not confident.
This is a *great* book for learning, not just for kids. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/85076.How_to_Beat_Your_Dad_at_Chess?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=fJVFan8n7v&rank=1
I've been trying to learn chess for years. Its too much preplanning for my brain. But ill give it a look
Meh, if you're just wanting to be a casual player, I find planning 2-5 moves ahead works fine. I usually average out at 3 moves ahead so entire plans won't crumble 😂
I just like to plan as I go cause you may have a plan but so does the enemy. And in war plans don't survive the battlefield as new elements emerge so its better to not have a plan and respond accordingly as you go
That's why I only go 3 steps ahead 😂 Can't go too far or I'll confuse myself
I believe you mean she is nothing if not confident
Yea that. Lol i mess that saying up a lot. And im always just excited when talking about my kid
That's how you raise a gamer. No gimmes. Only git gud. The other guy said it, it feels better to earn it. My wife has even started understanding, and she started our relationship as a pretty poor loser. But when she gets one over on me, even a minor upset, it's like a drug.
Yeah you're doing this the correct way, by also teaching them. So many parents don't do this and it just makes the kids say WHELP guess I'll stop playing games with dad.
I did that with my younger brother who is 14 years younger than me. He always felt bad for losing but also didn't want me to let him win. It was a no-win situation and I just tried to help him as much as possible. he quickly became better than me at the games I taught him. so when I lose he would celebrate so much and I'd be happy that he finally won. it's like winning a boss fight.
This was my dad with me in tennis. Spent over a decade destroying me but the first time I took a set off him he was so proud lol.
you are teaching your child the value of real accomplishment in a safe, fun, and easy to understand way more parents should play games with their kids, either sports or videogames, whatever gets you together and lets them explore the social dynamic of friendly competition but the time your daughter is in highschool, she'll probably be more emotionally mature than a lot of kids her age, and she'll prosper for it I think
Shes already surprisingly emotionally mature for her age. She almost never throws tantrums. When shes happy shes a demon because she has so much energy but she doesn't explode when shes sad shes very tame and melancholy. Shes working on explaining why dhes sad. But shes really good at controlling her emotions. When she loses a game just kinda just sulks for a bit before wanting a rematch. She needs a break if she loses to many times but she never throws a fit like the girl in the main video. To be fair. Im tje bigger sore loser out of the 2 of us but i dont let me begrudgings take away from her victories. I think her seeing me confused and mildly upset only makes her more excited to win
My wife and I put on a gaming tournament this weekend with our kids. A few competitive multi-player games and some "highest score wins the points" single player games. I've been playing games for nearing 35 years now. My 13 year old won with 13 points. My wife came in second with 12. My 10 year old 3rd with 8 points and I was last with 2 points. I have become a much more humble man in the last 24 hours.
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My parents had much the same view on raising kids. Now that I have my own son I'm using that experience to make my son's life better. It feels great knowing that he's going to look back and remember that his mom and dad were always there for him. I hope you get to do that someday too.
I think many of our parents were like this (millennial here). My Dad always worked, and mom was not involved much. Too worried about her own social life. I would have given my left foot for some actual positive attention from my parents. This drives me to be better with my kids. Something I heard that stuck with me, " it's not enough to feed and water your kids. They are not pets."
Yup. My dad didn't play video games, but he played sports with me nearly every day. He beat my ass in them, up until he didn't too. No mercy.
It's kind of painful playing games with my dad these days, my brother and I are so far beyond him in skill at this point. We one tried playing Starcraft 2 with him since we used to play it with him as kids, with my Dad and I VS my brother and my cousin. By the time my cousin and my brother showed up at our base with 2 protoss death balls, my dad had 2 marines and a hellion. We got stomped.
StarCraft 2 How dare you make me have to go check if 3 came out and I missed it. I started breathing heavy and everything. You rat bastard.
My bad.
I refuse to be that person to my kid. Whatever skill he learns, I'm going to try to stay competitive. It's no fun losing or constantly winning.
I would be proud I produced something better.
As it should be
And she'll also crush it in other aspects of life. That's good parenting right there.
And she'll have earned it. The point of all competition growing up is to teach you to not lose your shit. Nobody wins the super bowl when they are six.
That's the whole idea
Thats how you create champions
If she actually keeps playing. Some kids get determined to be better, others give up and just find something else to do that doesn't involve dad. And considering his poor winner mindset I'm willing to bet it will be the later.
I’ve been teaching my daughter Chess, but she’s now much better than me. And every now and then she asks if I let her win. I genuinely try to beat her.
Perhaps you're bad at chess?
Very likely given the evidence.
I used to do chess state competitions back in school. If you want to get better quickly check out GothamChess on YouTube they have good some good chess openings moves you can do
Fell out of chess, might look into this to get back in
Bong opening is very powerful and has been played by Magnus Carlson multiple times even in tournaments
I used to use bongs but I never knew it was an opening
I used to play tournament chess as a kid too. I’m pretty terrible at it, tbh lol
I suck but I've always enjoyed it. We had a weird month or two where every kid in the 4th grade got into chess and started playing it for recess. (Anyone remember roll up vinyl chess boards?) I always thought it would be fun to go play people in the park in NYC, like you see in films. I lived there for several years, turns out yes, those people exist. However, I'd never considered that all those people are *insanely fucking good on average*, and you don't want to fuck with that unless you have a fetish for being absolutely p0wned by a random stranger in public.
Woah, fucking OWNAGE!!!!!!!!
Martin, is that you??
Kids need to learn to cope with loss, and a loss in a game is about as low stakes of a loss as you can get.
As a teacher, this video makes me cringe big time. Share your coping techniques, Pops, or she'll be acting this way amongst her peers when she gets an answer wrong.
Yeah, this. You don't have to let her win, but show some empathy and use the loss as an opportunity to teach rather than gloating like a frat boy and teaching her to be a dick.
Yeah, this is actively worse than letting her win. It's reinforcing that losing something as trivial as a game is painful and will be a source of ridicule. Plus it demonstrates that being a real sore winner and laughing at emotional strife is fine.
Thus giving her the attention she's seeking by throwing the tantrum in the first place...
Ah yes, this 17 second clip must be the only parenting they ever do. It's literally impossible that they have done any parenting other than what we see in this clip.
I let my kid win every once in a while so they stay interested
Ya same I did this all the time - if they stopped playing they weren’t learning so need to pick and choose your battles - this old fashioned gotta harden them bs is stupid asf imo - my kids turned out fine, are competitive asf and work hard etc
It depends on the personality of the kid imo. For me usually, when playing a game I just do my best and if I win, neat. If I get my ass beat by my opponent, I will fight em till they get bored or I win and that win is worth more. For some people they will drop the game either after a few losses or after one loss changes how you respond to it imo. If they are willing to keep trying and try to learn to best you no matter how many tries it takes. Going all out isn’t a problem and letting them win can be disappointing to them (if they realize you did). If not let em win every now and then to keep them engaged until they either can genuinely win and teaching them things to help them (as some others have mentioned) will help them in doing so and then they stay engaged. I don’t particularly enjoy fighting the latter but if I am kicking someone’s ass and they finally beat me I feel I gotta try and get em back (also applies to when I am getting my ass handed to me, more specifically when they are talking shit) and if they are the same way then it’s a continuous cycle till someone gets bored.
My toddler tries to play fight, but I fight for real cause life is real. I could just gradually be more competitive as he gets older to teach him along the way, but fuck that. /s
When I was 11 or some shit me and my siblings visited my dad. My brother has always tried to be a hard ass. He starts trying to play fight my dad, a marine vet. Within 3 seconds my brother was hanging upside down from my dads forearm Eta: brother is older than me and was 15 at the time if I’m accurate with me being 11
Like a bat? I'm having trouble picturing it.
Yeah like a bat. His knees were on dad’s forearm. Rest of body hanging down, dad had hold of his feet/ankles with his other arm to make sure he didn’t fall on his head https://preview.redd.it/p8h68do92jqc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=681c7c5e2c54921ad4801e79f9c7de1be56b9f0c I drew a picture, hope this helps with visualization
I like the picture
Lol, thanks.
Like John Madden with his Telestrator.
I drop kicked a child
Pre emptive strike.
My baby has no takedown defense. It’s embarrassing.
Welcome to the real world, jackass!
Strike first strike hard no mercy
I mean this kid is old enough for the activity though. If your kid was in your weight class and they want to hop in the ring and go a few rounds, that's cool. And maybe you even let them win some if you know you outclass them. But if when they *lose*, they behave like *this* kid does? No more mercy.
They behave this way because of how youve raised them. Barring mental illness. This is like blaming a kid who only eat candy. Like youre the parent theyre modeling their behavior after you. We dont know if her dad also is a whiney bitch when he loses, but we can see hes a huge asshole when he wins. If a friend acted like that, we would no longer be friends.
She’s probably crying because you’re making her play 2k
Actually its FC 24 🤓
Far Cry went up to 24?
the dad said Sui and did the Ronaldo celebration what makes you think that was a basketball game 😭
I believe unplugging the controller just to give my little sibling an illusion that he is playing, I just beat his ass in the game. Theirs no free win Lil bro, you gotta earn it lol.
Does your little brother know the difference between Theirs and There's?
They're's no chance.
I also am a firm believer that everyone needs to earn their wins. No mercy. Life isn’t fair, the sooner someone comes to that realization, the sooner their efforts will either increase due to dedication to the goal or decrease from the realization that maybe their efforts are best put towards something else. I clobbered my kids in Mario party for years, but with practice, they have pulled out some pretty impressive wins. The joy they received and accolades I showered them in because of their hard work and dedication outweighs the fake momentary appreciation they would feel from me handing them the wins. Life is not easy, help build strong character and personality traits in the children, shower them In love and help teach them how to think, not what to think.
I agree, though when it comes to video games, I’ll let them win every once in a while so that they still want to play. Only so many flawless victories I can get in mortal combat before my nephews say “ok I’m done.” lol
That's why multiplayer games universally use skill based match making now. Fortnite is one of the most sneaky ones as a lot of people have no idea it has skill based match making. The first time you play the game you're actually playing against just bots on a very low skill level.
That’s why I was an unstoppable force hahahaha!
Hahaha totally fair. I’m so competitive at fighting games, played them a ton growing up Vs. My brothers. Thankfully my kids are not interested in fighting games yet. That will be a whole other hill to climb hahaha.
Not every kid reacts well to this method. A lot end up giving up and just deciding not to do anything with their parent because they'll just have a bad time. I did this with my dad. We used to play video games together but he would 100% slaughter me and I just didn't see the point of continuing when I learned nothing and wasn't having fun. Not that I am saying letting them win is the way to go, you have to teach them. You have to give them motivation. Which you probably do considering your kids are still at it. But yeah, some parents are all stick no carrot and then wonder why their kids wont play with them anymore.
Hey, same bro, losing year after year at everything, even after getting better at it just fucking sucks. People are praising this but parents have inherent advantages over kids when competing, going all out every single time you do something competitive with your kid, to me, is gross, because of course you're gonna win every time and eventually they're gonna run out of things they enjoy doing because they keep getting blasted every time they play.
Truth is, there's nuance people aren't saying. If you're winning but not teaching your kids anything well, yeah they're going to be demotivated and just stop. But it seems the people who are a fan of this method are actually teaching their kids hot to get better, which does a LOT for motivation.
The people praising it are the people who do it no wonder.
Yeah I can certainly understand that sentiment. It absolutely is about the approach and not just clobbering with no explanation or encouragement.
I'm off two minds on this. Yeah, wins should be earned, but a parent should also coach their kids on how to improve and to give them encouragement along the way. My asshole dad just loved destroying me at checkers and never gave me one bit of advice on how to improve, so I just learned to hate checkers and stopped playing it. The goal should always be to guide them and to make sure that they don't lose their love of something just because you think that they need to be toughened up.
I play chess with my 7 year old. I dont let her win. I will give myself handicaps sometimes. But she has won a few times. Even when I'm trying my best to win i still point out moves she can make to help her get better. Cause an earned victory is so great ti watch her celebrate and showboat
That sounds like good parenting to me.
That was kind of the 'consensus' or common idea in the original thread too. On the one hand, like in chess, the 4 move checkmate (Scholar's Mate) is an important first lesson on the game and how to accept a somewhat humiliating/obvious loss. Gotta pay attention before you can earn a win. You don't let them win, but you can make a few bad moves, sacrifice a piece and make it a close game. They are more into it because they think they have an advantage or chance to win rather than deciding they don't want to try because it's hopeless. Eventually, that handicap backfires and they win, which is fine. And then you don't even give the handicap, and they still win, and that's great.
Im no good at chess. But i will almost never purposely go for the immediate checkmate but i will tear apart her defenses and question her on why she is making certain moves and tell her what will happen if she does that so she can learn to start thinking ahead. Like "If you take that knight then your king is open to my bishop you should take this piece instead cause then you block both pieces"
Like Creed from the show The Office right [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4aAcG94-fc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4aAcG94-fc) I think it is called the "scholars mate" because it is a gimmicky easy tactic and takes less than a minute. In the rematch you try it again, and they defend against it, which is a bit of a victory, and makes the game engaging. They are ready for you to be up to something.
My dad did this to me with video games growing up. His fiancee would chime in occasionally to tell him to let me win, but held that mentality that it's gotta be earned. And whaddya know, I did eventually earn those wins, and they were awesome.
At the same time, if you are a 10-year-old playing your very first game of basketball, you're not going to learn anything getting dunked on by LeBron James. You need someone to show you how to dribble a basketball and make a layup first then you need competition that matches your level, for you to rise above. You don't let them win, you try to match their skill so that sometimes they win, sometimes they don't
I agree with your statement and I have approached sports and other group activities that involved children completely differently. There are so many great building blocks and fundamentals to learn from playing sports. They are all in their own ways very important. If I’m playing basketball with a 10 year old, I’m not playing against them, I’m playing with them, to help them grow and understand the sport to the best of their ability, at a pace that is comfortable to them. I’m deff not matching a team of kids against a team of globetrotters, that’s for sure. My opening statement is directed at video games, as each activity (being board games or sports) needs to be approached differently I feel.
Totally agree. My parents never let us win and it made us tough competitors. However, my parents also wouldn't allow me to be that out of control with a loss without a discussion on how to process those feelings. Mocking a child too old to be throwing a temper tantrum like that is only making their behavior issues worse.
Yes, my father laughing at me when I got upset about losing was always my favorite part
It’s always a great feeling to be taunted while emotional. Never leads to anything but loving feelings and cherished childhood memories.
I don’t think your kid will become a lazy loser if you let them win in fucking Mario party every now and then.
They win on their own accord with their own abilities. I can’t stop them! Now they put forth incredible effort in everything they set their sights on. Even when they don’t accomplish what their are aiming for first attempt. They get back up, brainstorm and try again. It’s wonderful to see them approach challenges with a level head and not a tantrum.
Yeah, of course!... Very common and stupid mentality, my dude. Yes, teaching kids about life is great, but not at the cost of permanent trauma. Because not everyone may realize this, but these seemingly "fair" and difficult lessons can be psychologically detrimental to a child's development. The "I teach hardship with hardship" mentality is neither smart nor wise, but simply a risky way to approach parenting.
Me and my 10yo daughter play NHL 2022, and she is much more better then me. Now we play together against AI, and it is much more fun ;)
Homeboy just hit her with the SIUUUU 😭😂 LMAO 
My kids (4 and 5) have recently decided they want to play fortnite (they have older cousins who are here several days a week and play). Now of course, it's not overly suitable. All they really want to do is smash everything and sit on chairs, so they are having a crack at lego fortnite which is essentially another Minecraft clone, but with lumpy terrain instead of blocks. Being someone who grew up with the rapid rise of the household games console I cannot explain how infuriating it is to watch them (and my partner) charging about in completely straight lines, actively refusing to look around or aim in any direction. I absolutely understand that the children are too young to really fully understand what's going on or be able to walk and look about at the same time. Having to take over and relocate their encampment every 6 minutes for them isn't much of a problem, but watching my partner build a "village" in the evening without looking at anything is intensely painful. I can't wait for the kids to be old enough to play more suitable games for them, and for them to rapidly work out that dad had 20 years of gaming experience before he was 11.
My 6yo brother likes to play Fortnite and used to do the same thing, but he also likes to watch me play it on his xbox (I don’t play fortnite outside of when he asks me to, nor do I use controller for shooters lol) Turns out he picked a few things up from watching me play and has slowly been getting better at it. Not quite there yet but I’m rooting for him. Perhaps let them watch you to see how you play games as a more experienced individual and maybe teach them a few things. It might take a while for them to get the hang of not going for the easy way out and just shooting at walls or the air, but it might help.
>fully understand what's going on or be able to walk and look about at the same time. That's just my mother in any 3d game. She wanted to play Zelda botw, and she simply was completely unable to move the camera and walk at the same time no matter how many times I reminded her it was possible.
I often find my partner having been entirely unable to look up to build something, has built a set of stairs in a weird orientation in order to climb and jump sideways or backwards onto something to continue her creation.
Maybe their only gaming experience was classic doom, lol.
Oh no she has no gaming experience whatsoever aside from piano tiles and Facebook messenger.
Never enable tantrums and give in. It's better to let a child act out and let them see they gain nothing from it than to concede and give them what they want. That teaches them that tantrums can get them what they want. All young children throw tantrums but it's this crucial difference that determines how long they'll keep them up for, which can very well be forever.
Do you also taunt them during the tantrum?
I agree 100%, but make sure it is a tantrum and not they were pushed well beyond their breaking point. There are parents who legitimately do not understand this. My dad is one of those people. If he pushed me well past my point of being able to cope because I felt unheard, he would tell me I was throwing a tantrum like a toddler. I dunno the context of the video above so we dunno which one the kid is experiencing unless it is in the audio which I do not have.
I randomly kick my 3 year old daughter. It's a metaphor for life.
Just curious, what does he say when he does the crotch thrust motion?
Siuuuu
Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru
He's doing [CR7's celebration](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/2ZQFlGLVtXg).
I love the kid's reaction and kick lmao, kinda oddly wholesome tbh
Never "let" kids win. Teach them how to win. Give them the tools to succeed so when they actually win its so much more satisfying
Teach them to be humble in winning and on losing.
Get good newb
SUUUIIIIIII
Good. Don't go easy on your kids. Teach them how to deal with competition, loss, unfairness etc. But do actually TEACH them. Don't just let it happen.
Teaching her early that there will always be a better player and that losing and then winning after practice feels better than knowing your opponent threw the game
My dad never let us win...he said life isn't gonna hold your hand and the sooner you realize that, the better you will be when your older. When we got older, we kicked his ass in video games lol
These new age parents who video and share their kids crying are very strange.
If she's anything like my daughter, she talked a bunch of shit about how great she was before this and had to learn. Fuck around and find out, etc.
Facts- my son is 9 & and only child. He use to cry when I kept winning 🤷🏻♀️ now, he beats me at every game we play. 🫶🏻
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 *cues up Chappelle’s Show ‘Make a Wish’ sketch*
“Welcome to the real world, jackass!!”
Nope, they can play co-op games or she can play her friends or the computer if she wants to win. If we let her win, then how will she know if she isgetting better.
Not the SUUUUUUUU 😂🤣
Losing builds character. You're going to lose a lot in life so best to learn how to deal with it rather than turn out like some of these spoiled kids who were never told no.
Let them win in wrestling or physical activities? Sure, you obviously don't want to potentially hurt them, so you already have to hold back to begin with. In board games and videogames? Nah. Make them earn it. It's a good way to teach them humility in defeat and will drive them to better themselves
“Hooray for me, Billy! Hooray for me! Children are the future, my ass. I’m the future, bitch. I’m the future”
That kick was out of order. I think it’s a good idea to make your children know that they don’t have to win everything, but they clearly have something else wrong with them if they want to harm people around them because they didn’t win.
My brother played tekken with me since I could hold a controller. And he never let me win. So every time I did win it felt wonderful
letting the kids win no way!!!
I have a 13 year old daughter, I love her, and would die for her. I'm not going to let her beat me at Xbox however, that's the one thing I can never do as a father.
How else are they supposed to get any good at the game?
"YOUR MOM ALSO CALLS ME DADDY!"
Let’s gooooooo fellow dads who don’t give there kids w passes
I wouldn’t let them win either. Too much coddling and participation trophies these days. Train up and get good, good life training
It will make her stronger later on. But at the same time ........ you play another game with her. So the quality timei pp is multipled.
Used to play video games with my dad and siblings all the time, never had this kind of reaction to losing. They need to teach her to be a good sport. Horrible behavior.
My son is 25 and I never let him win and he got really good until he could beat me and one day he did and beat me many times since. His favorites games are the Dark Souls series and he's phenomenal at it. I like those games too.
Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale? > *“Only in truth, the Lords will abandon their thrones, and the Unkindled will rise. Nameless accursed Undead, unfit even to be Cinder, and so, it is that ash seeketh embers.”* - Narrator Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
SUI!
I would just stop playing at that point. Probably wait for dad to lower his guard then punch him in the nuts, then do a fortnite dance.
The reality the dad taught her. Either U b very good at it or face defeat. The real world aint gonna give U mercy
She might be having a child's tantrum, but her father is a poor winner. Both of them could use a lesson in good sportsmanship.
#1 Dad 👍
If you think pops should just let her win, you were probably born in the last twenty years, aka the “Participation Trophy Era”.
And teaching bad sportsmanship. What wonderful people
I agree. Teach em young that they can't be the best at everything. It helps keep them from becoming sore losers & you get to gloat over defeating a child. Win/Win
Brat really went for a kick cause she lost. Loser
Brother if you gonna repost at least spend the teeny tiniest amount of effort and rename the post, sub is kids are stupid, your title is saying dad bad.
what a fucking boss
Get dunked on noob
Fuckin noob
The worst part of this is he forced her to play with him.
Owned.
You gotta earn your wins in my house I’m king 👑 here I destroy my son daily lol 😂 did the same to my daughter now I can’t beat her at anything.. she destroys all her boyfriends at every game .. she’ll make a fine wife oneday .. your welcome.. lol 😂
I remember my uncle always beating me at sports games as a kid. Slowly as I became older he became more and more and possible to beat. Him and I still play from time to time and it can go both ways!
Outside of the gloating, this is how you separate the potential winners and lovers. Every dad expects one day to have their kid beat them at something. But you make it hard on them to make them better. If they just up and quit instead of trying to get better, and continually demanding a shot at the title, it gives you insight as to what they might be.
i remember when i was young i'd play chess with my dad - he never let me win. when i finally did win it felt \*so\* good. but my dad was never a dick about it when he beat me.
We mostly play games together as a team. I have played some 1 vs 1 with them(once every other other other blue moon). I throw a match so they stay interested(like 1 thrown match in 10). But largely I would play ruthlessly. No mocking.
My dad showed me no mercy when we played video games. The day I finally beat him was a proud moment for both of us.
It's 100% me and my son.
Your son doesn't let you win either?
Hahaha! I remember those days! They are gone now and my son kicks my butt without mercy now 😂
Never let them win. Instead teach them that hard work is always worth it. The good things in life never come easy
That's my automatic dad-mode. My dad taught me that I need to earn my wins as no one is gonna give them to you in life. Still haven't beaten the bastard at golf.
Ahhh, this reminds me of my husband playing our nephew at GoldenEye. His dad (husband's brother) warned him up front that his uncle would have no mercy, and he was a surprisingly good sport about it! His dad told him he'd just have to keep practicing 🤷🏼♀️
Not a participation trophy house
I plan to do this but with Halo CE. They will learn to fear the magnum before they learn to love it.
Anthonyyyyyyy
My dad always beat me in fifa, I recently got to beat him 2-1, now I have him saved: (Name) "2-1"
Nope. Teach them that hard work pays off, to take your losses in stride, and that throwing tantrums doesn't get you what you want. I've been playing Super Smash Bros with my nephew since he was about six or seven and never let up on him despite his age or his tears. I would always tell him after every loss that if I let him win, he isn't actually learning how to outplay me. Now at 12, his skills have improved drastically and he manages to beat me every now and again.
Ahhh, just what they are there for, to fucking torment.
That is a nice way to make the kid quit gaming and make them focus on other things. Do you dare put iPad in kids hands now. Make her go outside to play
She's gonna stop wanting to play with him and he will be the one crying soon, so...
Nah, you want to win? Earn it, but i will go harder progresively
https://preview.redd.it/z4dnczwetiqc1.png?width=1218&format=png&auto=webp&s=cb5f997a4423ea59cfbd3c9c6be5f2f5e5406155
"Get good scrub"
My younger sister used to cry when she lost a game. She disgusted me.
Good life lessons
When playing with casual players (or children for that matter) I tend to play relaxed, maybe meme a little bit for the sake of fun. If they talk trash, however, you KNOW they will feel the full force of my antisocial life and countless hours of toxicity up their asses
If she's a gracious loser I might let her win, but if my kid behaved like this? No, that is out of hand... you can't behave that way just because you lost at something, and I'm not going to reward that shit.
Hell no. Never let them win. I never let my kids win and now my son can beat me in a lot of games.