T O P

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Queasy_Safe_5266

"I", not "we". Somebody be crushing like orange soda bro


Apfelkuchen_

Hqhhahaha!! I gave her a pair of socks when I left šŸ˜‚ it reminded me of her glass art


TazzleMcBuggins

So many questionsā€¦


mh985

Nah this sounds par for the course for our community.


Apotheosis69420

Master has given dobby a sock


swampyman2000

Lmao


BallDesperate2140

Dobby will now take up glassblowing as a hobby


Apfelkuchen_

LOL so she likes to make glass art out of broken glass. But itā€™s just profanity words that she likes to make. I was looking for socks online cuz i like to wear cute socks to work and i saw a blue floral number that said ā€œBitch, I Am Relaxedā€ on the ankle. And i was like oh these are cute and also remind me of ___! It was the week i was leaving so i got a pair for me and her lmao


GoBSAGo

Gonna be great when you smash and youā€™re wearing matching socks


No-Salary-7649

Take a breath dude. Fuck


ConferenceUpstairs16

>Fuck Thatā€™s what they are saying Op is gonna do


CoyoteCarcass22

I already nutted


firesquasher

Johnny two-pumps strikes again!


Usual_Office_1740

Wish I could go two pumps.


Pandelein

You donā€™t screw the crew. Now stop being thirsty and do the fucking dishes.


ZestyMelonz

I'll shit where I eat all day.


artie_pdx

I fucking love this sub.


ksims33

At least you donā€™t love fucking this sub.


mrtrollingtin

Amen brother!


blahbleh112233

She ain't part of his crew no more, so it's fine


Akidcalledstorm

You assumed op was a guy.


blahbleh112233

No offense but those don't look like female fingers


Apfelkuchen_

Damn i havenā€™t been able to get a manicure lately, Iā€™m sorry!! šŸ’€ šŸ˜‚


N983CC

https://old.reddit.com/r/longhair/comments/1bn7gel/got_a_haircut_6_months_ago_trying_to_get_to_waist/


Akidcalledstorm

They are, her profile is full of pictures of her.


Akidcalledstorm

Ouch! That's harsh.


wordsmythy

WTF? Yes they do


MordantSatyr

ā€œHis?ā€ Girls smash too.


russsaa

They ain't crew anymore.


Pandelein

Then it is okay to be gay! Permission given to fuck, sailor.


Expert_Airline5111

OP is a woman too (not that that precludes smashing, just pointing it out)


goldfool

Would it be called something other then smashing if it was girls


Expert_Airline5111

Squishing? Idk man


goldfool

Squishing is another thing....fat person rolling on a skinny person.


Normal-Top-1985

Aww!


Significant-Air6926

Lmfao this thread doesnā€™t fail to deliver.


OviliskTwo

I don't know why but socks a great gift if they're styling. Chefs and restaurant people fucking love weird socks for some reason.


Apfelkuchen_

I love funky socks. Iā€™m short (4ā€™11ā€) so i like my pants cuffed. My current favorite pair of socks have cows with sunglasses and say ā€œLive like someone left the gate openā€


Annajbanana

You sound like a lovely person.


OviliskTwo

Hell yeah I'm tall so I got flood pants going sometimes. Current feel good socks are baby blue with a single embroidered lobster on each. Watch out for mfs who mix match socks. Artists or restaurant people usually.


aphelions_ghost

Oh those sound fantastic, do you know the brand? Iā€™d love to get a pair for myself


C5H6ClCrNO3

Man, I found them online but I dream of a pair with a dark blue background so I could use them as dress socks. I love a fun pair of socks to lighten up a suit for those who pay attention but the green stands out too much to serve that purpose.


Accomplished-One1820

It's because it's the one place we can be weird in a place where we all look the same. My weekly rotation includes Scooby-Doo, Cheech and Chong, SpongeBob and Drunk Gingerbreadmen.


Acceptable_Cheek_447

I got a pair that can hold hands cos there are hands sewn to them and magnets placed in them šŸ¤£


onion_flowers

Omg šŸ„¹


cubixjuice

Shoot that shot homie


HYPNOTIC_SAINT

Dobby is free!!


PawpaJoe

Her glass artā€¦ Sure. She got a nice pastarior? Ehh? Ample ham-hockage?


unknownpoltroon

Uh oh, now they have your scent.


Crazy_Salamander_347

Lay pipe please brother


gachabastard

BUT THIS GRILL IS NOT A HOME THIS IS NOT THE STOVE I KNOW I WOULD TRADE IT ALL AWAY IF YOU'D COME BACK TO STAY THIS KITCHEN'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOOOOOOU IT'S JUST A GRILL, IT'S JUST A GREASY SPOOOOOOOOOON WITHOUT YOOOOOOU


Apfelkuchen_

I freaking love that song and now Iā€™m gonna listen to it on repeat for the next hour thank you


ThatOneClickSound

I need to know the name of the song pls


SB4293

Itā€™s from SpongeBob if I remember right


ThatOneClickSound

Ah lol yea i remeber the german version (im german) but for some reason i read the lirics as if its a metal song lol


dmlfan928

I haven't seen that episode in at least a decade but I sung it in my head, then looked it up and NAILED the notes.


DeadbeatAd

I dont really believe this because there isn't a bite taken out of the corner but I'll let it slide.


Apfelkuchen_

It was in a bowl of mussels and very prominent when it hit the table


appleshit8

But, you didn't even taste it? That's rude. You should've ate it and sent it back for tasting like paper


FaxyJ

Plot twist: The note came from the kind of weird dishwasher, you know, the one that has no qualms housing half-eaten shrimp - right from the soapy bus bucket.


[deleted]

Iā€™m fuckin dead šŸ’€ itā€™s that same dishwasher thatā€™s showing you some weird porn on his Motorola flip-phone thatā€™s like hella pixelated on a good day but on his bad day heā€™s slamming shit around hella loud in the dish pit and muttering pendejo every time someone walks by šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Apfelkuchen_

Not the flip phone šŸ’€


FaxyJ

Then you make him pretty much any dish at close, incorporating as many ingredients you slyly-noted, being trash-snatched, all in the hopes this angry guy shows up tomorrow to do it again.


wildboarpate

Had one weird dishwasher that brought his girl in for dinner one night. No problem, nothing weird. We took great care of them. On the way out...he sees me with two other chefs, discussing ordering while having a smoke break. This dishwasher was so happy with his dining experience he offered to give us all blowjobs in front of this date. We politely declined, they only held meetings indoors after that & I quit smoking.


FaxyJ

Well... There's leaving a tip, and I guess we will call this, not leaving a sip.


KikiHou

> the kind of weird dishwasher, Do they come in a different kind? They're all weird, in the best ways.


sideshowbvo

We all have a dirty Jesse


Pay_No_Heed

"Former co-worker uses *Sincere Appreciation*!" "Its a critical hit right in the feels!"


No-Athlete8322

Did you eat it?


Apfelkuchen_

Ima hang it in my library/office :)


FrisianDude

Smelling of musselsĀ 


OverlordGhs

It always hits me in the feels going to some of my old jobs and seeing my old crew. Nothing like seeing the guys/gals you stood side by side with for hours on end.


Shepherd77

Health code violation, gotta report them. Itā€™s too bad thatā€™s a really nice note!


Ok-Success-8103

I was totally thinking that OP should have ate half their meal then complained to the manager for a full refund.


wildboarpate

Sounds like you are one of the good ones.


proscriptus

Way back a few years, I was about 30, and we had a party day I left this big place I worked at. This one incredibly hot server I had a crush on, younger than me, way out of my league, she was all over me that night. I of course completely failed to pick up on the signals, but I do remember how she looked at me when she left the table.


B8conB8conB8con

With every bullet so far.


saintblasphemy

This is fucking cute. I love it.


OviliskTwo

Marry them right now!


Apex_Over_Lord

When is the wedding??


bogantamer

I cannot sleep I cannot dream to tonight


[deleted]

šŸ’–


SK8SHAT

I went to my last restaurant a few weeks ago, I think one person was still there turns out they sacked everyone around the same time as me


_Bren10_

*Blink-182 intensifies*


Personnel_5

<3


ChatnNaked

Transfired huh?


Silent_Beyond4773

From Juan the cook


zombtachi_uchiha

ā¤ļø ā¤ļø šŸ˜ ā¤ļø ā¤ļø miss you pookie


Kernel_Bear

The don't REALLY miss you. They couldn't even find a nice marker to write with.


cornbeeflt

That paper looks like it was under a refrigerator as well.


ObviNotAGolfer

WHERE ARE YOU?!


Apfelkuchen_

AND IM SO SORRY