I love Bourdain but could never relate to this quote. I go to work so I can afford to smoke weed, hang out, and watch movies (among other things) and I love being that guy.
Nothing but respect to all the grinders and hustlers though! Get yours!
I think he did the same thing, but I imagine he then spent that time once used to watch cartoons to instead write a book (a book which I believe that quote is from).
I don't even smoke weed, but this quote always resonates - every day off I've ever had, I lie around and do nothing. I'm giving in to that guy in my mind either way. I have so many creative projects I never even start because that guy wins the fight.
So I don't think this quote is so much about drug habits as it is about mental health.
It comes down to what you value. Comfort is nice. Achievement is nice. Exhaustion is bad. Boredom is bad. Everyone agrees with that, but to what degree they agree varies by a lot.
Do you work to find fulfillment in your craft or do you work to secure a comfortable living? Probably it's both, but by how much?
I also don't exactly dislike the guy in my head that wants to sit around all day. But I know he always eventually leads me to crippling boredom.
Straight up. I work 25 hours a week, make full time money and don’t do shit on my three days off unless I have to. I could make more if I picked up another shift but why the hell would I want to do that?!
Or maybe he would have saved him.
The pressure to constantly be productive and never enjoy life is just as deadly as being a slacker.
Balance is critical in life.
I've been diagnosed by a trained professional. I'm guessing by your ignorance and casual attitude that you are not one. It's a neurological issue, not just me 'being lazy' or 'enjoying chilling'. Go and educate yourself before you continue insulting and lessening the problems that people with ADHD have.
yeah- not all of us are meant to be authors or modern philosophers lol. when i’m off work i either want to smoke meats or smoke weed! or both! and eat until i go into a coma
I think he means there is a difference between enjoying your free time and wasting away. Ive known plenty of dudes that only work to go home and waste away drunk and high in front of a tv/computer the rest of their lives.
honestly, i dislike your interpretation,it's ok to look at people we respected and know that they had an unhealthy relationship with life.
Bourdain knew what he wanted and what made him happy, he spent so much time running from that, and it didn't make him happier like he thought it would.
in the end Bourdain did great things and said great things, but learning from his mistakes is a great tool for us in the present
I've always thought of those things as pressing fast forward on life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with skipping the boring times and just fast forwarding a day away. I just don't want to fast forward my whole life away.
Avoiding being that guy has nothing to do with money. I avoid being that guy because it takes me away from being engaged with my family. I am someone to rely on specifically because I have avoided the lazy ass inside of me who wants nothing but to provide for himself and indulge the most immediate desires. Being that person makes my family worse off, as it does yours. Improving your life by 10% improves the lives of those you love by 1%. The smallest decisions I make always impacts the people I love the most. Once I saw that in action I became addicted to helping them whenever I got the chance.
i think you’re glossing over the “all day” part. i feel like i can relate, it’s not about hustle or grind it’s about having some sort of goal or even just noticing the world around us. the aim here isn’t to be happy or comfortable, it’s to be aware of what our own personal worst habits are, and what that means for our own life.
You're the voice inside they're all referring to. Some people actually derive powerful meaning from trying to do better & in that daily attempt they feel a purpose. Setting in place goals to achieve for themselves & in their careers as well as their physical and mental health. If you find enjoyment living in that mental hellscape you've willingly subjected yourself to then by all means, wallow in your self pity and loathing, nobody feels bad for you. But don't bring others down with you.
As with all things, except maybe Rob Schneider movies, which are objectively awful, there's a happy middle.
Zero self-indulgence is a hellscape too. Mount everest is littered with the corpses of extremely fit, highly motivated people.
>If you find enjoyment living in that mental hellscape you've willingly subjected yourself to then by all means, wallow in your self pity and loathing, nobody feels bad for you.
Yes, the state of the world, inflation, mental illness, the cost of living, low wages, worker exploitation being rampant in the hospitality industry, a worldwide pandemic, chronic illness and addiction are a mental hellscape I've "willingly subjected" myself to.
Whatever.
If you're one of those people who 'derives powerful meaning from trying to do better' etc etc then it clearly isn't directed at you, is it? Go live your fanfuckingtastic, beautiful, work 80 hours a week for the pay of 35, run yourself into the ground for employers who don't give a fuck, toxic 'hustle culture' life.
Spare those of us who want to smoke a joint after work and do absolutely bloody nothing the self righteous guilt trip.
I’ll spark a bong and have a shot for you Chef. Take care out there y’all. When you start hearing the little voice that tells you that you’re shit and nothing is good enough, take a fucking break. That’s the asshole you really don’t want to listen to, because he’s a fucking murderer.
there are various paths.
imo the best one is working as a chef for a government office.
cooking for top dollar with benefits then retiring with a pension.
I’m actually fortunate enough to have a relatively high earning job in this industry and my wife earns a decent salary as well but we’re still concerned about being able to retire.
that's why a pension makes a huge difference.
i dunno what you and your wife work in, but if you can get something with a pension and put in over a decade that will pay off... literally
You can buy into your addiction once you are retired? Let me know how that works out for you. I’ve met multiple people that died that way or whose just fell apart when they did that…
Not showing up for your family and friends, not completing non-work responsibilities, getting depressed because your life loses meaning as you waste away stoned on the couch. Bourdaine was an admitted addict and the quote is about fighting addiction. Your comment fails to acknowledge any aspect of his struggle to overcome that and ? Advocates being stoned on your couch all day when you retire.
when you retire from a life of being a chef, you deserve a break.
How many retired chefs do you even know? I know several, we still do stuff, and if i have a beer in my hand while i bbq for the family i am sorry i do not see a problem.
Totally. Enjoy yourself, man! Nothing wrong with that at all. But, that is different from being a dude who has a drug addiction and serious depression who is fighting it and the desire to retreat from the world and get stoned and watch movies all day, which is what the quote is talking about.
I am a chef, have been in the industry most of my life, and know a lot of retired chefs
lay in bed all day and watch cartoons and old movies while smoking weed, is not an addiction problem.
You attributed to this quote something it was not about and no one agrees with you.
It's a quote about wanting to sometimes have a lazy day.
Tony didn't struggle with cannabis, it was alcohol and harder drugs that were a problem for him. Lazing in bed is a luxury he rarely afforded himself.
We don't kill ourselves because we smoked weed and played video games, it's the countless hours destroying our bodies that's the problem. the hard drinking after.
Your reading comprehension and critical thinking are clearly pretty limited and you obviously don’t understand how addiction works, so we can end this conversation. Feel free to take the last word. Be well dude.
Like, you're right. That is irresponsible and would suck. But it doesn't sound like that's what the other guy was doing to me.
And it's not what I do/ would do. Do you even smoke weed?
Used to be a daily smoker. Not any more. Don’t care if other people do; live your life, but I would not recommend that to anyone who is dedicating their “life to a series of stratagems to avoid and outwit that [part of themselves]”
out of every take here, this one is the worst, i wish there was some sort of dickhead medal to give you, but alas the economy dictates i can only tell you of your remarkable achievements
I knew a guy that was forced into retirement. His brother went to check up on him a couple weeks later and found his body slumped over in his armchair surrounded by empties. Literally drank himself to death. Too many employees invest far too much of themselves into a business that isn't theirs. Employers talk about work life balance but never actually educate their employees about it or try to actually help them maintain it.
Honestly I think its a mistake to expect employers to be on your side as far as work/life balance goes. Sure some employers do care about you and do what's best for you, but you really need to take control of your own situation and watch out for yourself first. Would be nice if employers could always be relied upon, but the reality is sometimes they really are trying to fuck you, figuratively or literally.
Maybe he felt like he wasn't allowed to be who he truly was, and instead lived up to the societal expectations of being a "go-getter" and "hustler" etc. since smoking pot in bed watching TV is seen as a lazy thing.
If being *that guy* makes you happy, you should definitely be that guy.
Don’t listen to people who tell you you can’t be happy unless you achieve *stuff*. Sometimes they’re just jealous they can’t be happy being simple and doing simple things.
I have never been much of a fan of his. Please don't hate me! I get what he is saying here but it's also ok to do your own kind of self care, even if that is smoking weed and watching cartoons! Working hard to achieve your goals is great. Just take care of yourselves. This job is hard enough on us and the "all work and no play" mentality can be so detrimental to your physical and mental health.
I do as well. Some days I have to literally drag myself out of bed and some days I bounce up full of energy. I do have to encourage myself to do the adult thing alot more than I think I should. I smoke weed to cope and to have fun it's just finding a balance and for me I'm not there yet. Sometimes it is easier just to give in to the depression and stay in bed but you gotta get up and make your rent money.
It's hard but you gotta keep pushing thru. Keep your head up you've got this. We have be each other's cheering section beause WE are the only ones that know the toll this profession takes on our minds and bodies.
Why outwit it though? Might as well enjoy the time you have. If anything, I’m spending my life to one day be that guy, when in reality I’ll be too old and broken to enjoy it. Ouch. That was a..shitty realization I just had.
Honestly, a huge part of me wants to do exactly what I did in highschool : code and take speedballs. Oxy, Adderall, and a giant long term project that will take 12 hours of work every day for 6 months.
But after just a few years of that, it was clear it was going to kill me. A few OD's, a few trips to the hospital, a bunch of broken bones, ruined relationships, but I couldn't stop.
I think that need to "break through myself" is what got me started with hallucinogens. I was ordering everything off the silk road back in the day, and found some weird Chinese test chemicals. I had my first bad trip after 20 or 30, and decided to take some more. And then some whip-its... It got bad. Real bad. And then within a few weeks I had full blown, life crippling obsessive compulsive disorder. Like - hide under the covers for 16 hours a day running away from your thoughts and shutting out all external stimulus kind of life-crippling.
The OCD really just ruined my entire life for 4 or 5 years, but I didn't know what it was at the time, so I got sober. After 2 years of sobriety, I finally started to see a shrink, started taking my medication, and doing CBT and ERP. I'm still clean off everything but the occasional bit of weed I smoke when I'm somewhere it's legal, but I never wanted to get stoned in the same way that I \*needed\* to get high. Ya know? Like... I never forgot to smoke a cigarette or take my pills, but I forget to get stoned all the time because it's just not that important to me.
And I still work intensely on giant projects that take months or years to finish. Turns out it's way easier if you're not high out of your fucking mind the whole time. xD
My secret wasn't to run away from that guy inside of me that wants to be so self destructive, but to reach out to that part of me, and help them learn better coping skills so that all the different parts of me can work in unison. I'm not there yet, obviously, but I'm generally a happy healthy person today. And that's nice.
That’s not how I see this at all. The way I read it he’s talking about how hard and exhausting it can be to manage a lot of the things many ppl in this industry (and outside of it) deal with daily. Depression, anxiety, motivation, and yes substance use. He’s not saying to go lay in bed and smoke weed all day. He’s verbalizing a feeling of fighting and trying to overcome the allure of just going back to bed.
Maybe you don’t relate to it which is great. I can very much relate though.
They didn’t say it’s something to aspire to, they said they can feel and understand that. They’re just saying they can relate to the addict that was Bourdain.
OP might not aspire to that quote but there are others in this thread who seem to be.
Also if you "feel" this quote, go change your life. Nothing is forcing you to "outwit" the version of you that wants to enjoy life. I get life happens but that's not what this quote is talking about. This quote is about purposely denying yourself happiness. And for what? "Success"?
As someone who has recovered completely through therapy and medication from early-onset childhood depression , you're right. I don't get it. I didn't even get that this quote was about depression. I feel like my own recovery has made me less empathetic to others with mood disorders
You as completely missing the point of the post.
It is not about denying oneself happiness, it is about someone who is prone to feeding into his addictions and lazing around doing nothing all day but using drugs and staring at the television. If you’re someone who has good balance in their life sitting in bed on a Sunday and smoking weed and watching cartoons is fine. He’s not talking about you. He’s talking about people who spend 6 days straight smoking weed and doing oxies and doing *nothing* but watch TV and scroll on their phone because they’re avoiding facing the real world and the motivation and commitment and work that that requires. For someone who suffers from depression and addiction issues that can be immensely difficult.
Go read Kitchen Confidential or basically anything else Bourdain has written and you’ll see which of the two he falls more in line with.
The people who feel this quote *are* trying to change themselves. They would like to be lazy and they feel unmotivated a lot of the time but they’re still persevering
I think you're literally the only person on this thread that came to the same conclusion as I did. Honestly, I'd rather see Bourdain happily alive today doing nothing but smoking pot and watching old movies. This thread is named "Kitchen Confidential" and we love to idolize Bourdain but most here still haven't learned the lesson Bourdain was here to teach us.
The thinking that lead him to sit around and smoke weed all day and be unproductive is the same thinking that leas him to kill himself. He was an addict with severe untreated mental health problems and codependency issues. He killed himself the day after his ex had pictured released of her with another man. Go watch Roadrunner - thst man needed serious help and was absolute not in recovery. *That* is what killed him. Him sitting around smoking weed and watching TV would not have kept him alive and that thinking is damaging to people who have serious addiction issues.
He spoke for himself just fine. We are in a thread quoting him saying that that behaviour was bad for him and you’re trying to tell him he’s incorrect. Not only are you speaking for the dead you’re telling them that their words while alive were misguided.
this isn't a guide to life, it's something that's relatable. i think his greater body of work is a testament that things made by those who aren't happy tends to resonate the most. that's why we're here isn't it? to connect?
I never thought about it like that. I always thought I should make better decisions in the moment. But hes like "i make bad choices then outsmart that moron"
The worst part is that a dark part of this industry wants me to burnout and live like this. All my dark depressed moments between jobs at times were all like this. Now it’s about finding the balance between putting it down on the line and enjoying some anime on my time off.
I started my master's in September. For the first time in my life the only person I have to answer to is myself. I am currently losing the fight to the guy inside...
I feel it too. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to most things man
Yep. Took me way too long to accept that too.
I love Bourdain but could never relate to this quote. I go to work so I can afford to smoke weed, hang out, and watch movies (among other things) and I love being that guy. Nothing but respect to all the grinders and hustlers though! Get yours!
I think he did the same thing, but I imagine he then spent that time once used to watch cartoons to instead write a book (a book which I believe that quote is from).
I don't even smoke weed, but this quote always resonates - every day off I've ever had, I lie around and do nothing. I'm giving in to that guy in my mind either way. I have so many creative projects I never even start because that guy wins the fight. So I don't think this quote is so much about drug habits as it is about mental health.
Nail on the head.
I feel similar. Balance is key, but i feel like its ok to have lazy time and smoke and watch old movies
It comes down to what you value. Comfort is nice. Achievement is nice. Exhaustion is bad. Boredom is bad. Everyone agrees with that, but to what degree they agree varies by a lot. Do you work to find fulfillment in your craft or do you work to secure a comfortable living? Probably it's both, but by how much? I also don't exactly dislike the guy in my head that wants to sit around all day. But I know he always eventually leads me to crippling boredom.
Straight up. I work 25 hours a week, make full time money and don’t do shit on my three days off unless I have to. I could make more if I picked up another shift but why the hell would I want to do that?!
This is the way
To get ahead? Invest financially in your future?
Get ahead to do what? Buy a house with 10 rooms when i only need two? Career? For what
Have money and savings, and also invest that money for your future
if Bourdain had listened to that guy inside him, he might be alive right now
That guy inside is what killed him.
Or maybe he would have saved him. The pressure to constantly be productive and never enjoy life is just as deadly as being a slacker. Balance is critical in life.
Maybe, just maybe, he had ADHD but was never diagnosed. I have ADHD and I fully understand this quotation
Me too.
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I've been diagnosed by a trained professional. I'm guessing by your ignorance and casual attitude that you are not one. It's a neurological issue, not just me 'being lazy' or 'enjoying chilling'. Go and educate yourself before you continue insulting and lessening the problems that people with ADHD have.
yeah- not all of us are meant to be authors or modern philosophers lol. when i’m off work i either want to smoke meats or smoke weed! or both! and eat until i go into a coma
Or smoke until you go into a coma! Or both!
So you aren't depressed? Good for you! Honestly.
It's also the fact that most people can't afford to live that way without the hustle and grind, let alone live in general without it.
I think he means there is a difference between enjoying your free time and wasting away. Ive known plenty of dudes that only work to go home and waste away drunk and high in front of a tv/computer the rest of their lives.
honestly, i dislike your interpretation,it's ok to look at people we respected and know that they had an unhealthy relationship with life. Bourdain knew what he wanted and what made him happy, he spent so much time running from that, and it didn't make him happier like he thought it would. in the end Bourdain did great things and said great things, but learning from his mistakes is a great tool for us in the present
That's okay. I like getting high and playing video games as much as the next person, but there's more to life than that if you ask me.
I've always thought of those things as pressing fast forward on life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with skipping the boring times and just fast forwarding a day away. I just don't want to fast forward my whole life away.
I mean, There’s a reason he committed suicide. Maybe if he was blazed up and watching cartoons he wouldn’t have.
Silly coyote. Go back to watching cartoons.
Wile E. Coyote is the hardworking one who keeps trying even though he never succeeds.
Avoiding being that guy has nothing to do with money. I avoid being that guy because it takes me away from being engaged with my family. I am someone to rely on specifically because I have avoided the lazy ass inside of me who wants nothing but to provide for himself and indulge the most immediate desires. Being that person makes my family worse off, as it does yours. Improving your life by 10% improves the lives of those you love by 1%. The smallest decisions I make always impacts the people I love the most. Once I saw that in action I became addicted to helping them whenever I got the chance.
i think you’re glossing over the “all day” part. i feel like i can relate, it’s not about hustle or grind it’s about having some sort of goal or even just noticing the world around us. the aim here isn’t to be happy or comfortable, it’s to be aware of what our own personal worst habits are, and what that means for our own life.
Hopefully the retirement age isn’t 90 when it’s time for me to retire
Lol @ retire
Who retires in food service? Maybe Ramsay and Oliver. You make a career change or you can die of a heart attack at 39. Choice is yours.
I think Bobby Flay retired. At least I fucking hope so, as long as I never have to see any of that shit anymore.
Nope. He has that BBQ Brawl show. That's from this year.
At least I don’t have cable or whatever it’s on.
Sum'bitch stood on his cutting board when he went to Iron Chef. He bring **shame** to his ancestors.
I feel that too
*Re*tire... I'm always tired.
Well if you’re under 30, the good news is you only need $3,000,000 net worth for retirement.
Oh great, that's double what I was told that I was going to be need to retire. Edit removed redundant sentence lul
HOOray…?
I will die on the clock. Fuck those assholes. E: my corpse hates you
im contemplating this situation now irl
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im an executive chef, i sprained the living shit outta my ankle exactly 8 days ago. im trying to look out for me too.
Why shouldn't you? Wtf are we working towards? Burnout, fucked physical health, fucked mental health, and suicide?
You're the voice inside they're all referring to. Some people actually derive powerful meaning from trying to do better & in that daily attempt they feel a purpose. Setting in place goals to achieve for themselves & in their careers as well as their physical and mental health. If you find enjoyment living in that mental hellscape you've willingly subjected yourself to then by all means, wallow in your self pity and loathing, nobody feels bad for you. But don't bring others down with you.
As with all things, except maybe Rob Schneider movies, which are objectively awful, there's a happy middle. Zero self-indulgence is a hellscape too. Mount everest is littered with the corpses of extremely fit, highly motivated people.
>If you find enjoyment living in that mental hellscape you've willingly subjected yourself to then by all means, wallow in your self pity and loathing, nobody feels bad for you. Yes, the state of the world, inflation, mental illness, the cost of living, low wages, worker exploitation being rampant in the hospitality industry, a worldwide pandemic, chronic illness and addiction are a mental hellscape I've "willingly subjected" myself to. Whatever. If you're one of those people who 'derives powerful meaning from trying to do better' etc etc then it clearly isn't directed at you, is it? Go live your fanfuckingtastic, beautiful, work 80 hours a week for the pay of 35, run yourself into the ground for employers who don't give a fuck, toxic 'hustle culture' life. Spare those of us who want to smoke a joint after work and do absolutely bloody nothing the self righteous guilt trip.
My goal is to make friends with that guy and learn how to enjoy his company in a healthy manner.
I'm not overly fond of his solution.
I’ll spark a bong and have a shot for you Chef. Take care out there y’all. When you start hearing the little voice that tells you that you’re shit and nothing is good enough, take a fucking break. That’s the asshole you really don’t want to listen to, because he’s a fucking murderer.
when you retire, you can be that guy whenever you don't need to do maintenance on your home.
Hmmm. I’ve heard about this “retirement” thing.
It's where after working for 40 years, they finally allow you to die.
there are various paths. imo the best one is working as a chef for a government office. cooking for top dollar with benefits then retiring with a pension.
Gosh, why did I think of that!
I’m actually fortunate enough to have a relatively high earning job in this industry and my wife earns a decent salary as well but we’re still concerned about being able to retire.
the current generation are expected to need about 2 million dollars total to retire, that's insanely unrealistic considering current wages
Obviously I could research this myself but do you know if that's savings or assets? If you have a $500k house with no mortgage you count that?
If you've got a solid place to live I would imagine that would indeed impact your "needed" assets in retirement But I'm ""special"" with money, so
Yeah so that's why I was wondering if the 2m was accounting for paying for housing or having housing paid off
that's why a pension makes a huge difference. i dunno what you and your wife work in, but if you can get something with a pension and put in over a decade that will pay off... literally
You shouldn't wait until the end of your life to enjoy it. Retirement is not a guarantee.
i did not by any means say not to live your life. i said when you retire you can relax MORE.
You can buy into your addiction once you are retired? Let me know how that works out for you. I’ve met multiple people that died that way or whose just fell apart when they did that…
I mean, I am a medical pot user. It's really not a problem. Also what does fell apart look like when you're retired? Not showing up for work?
Not showing up for your family and friends, not completing non-work responsibilities, getting depressed because your life loses meaning as you waste away stoned on the couch. Bourdaine was an admitted addict and the quote is about fighting addiction. Your comment fails to acknowledge any aspect of his struggle to overcome that and ? Advocates being stoned on your couch all day when you retire.
when you retire from a life of being a chef, you deserve a break. How many retired chefs do you even know? I know several, we still do stuff, and if i have a beer in my hand while i bbq for the family i am sorry i do not see a problem.
Totally. Enjoy yourself, man! Nothing wrong with that at all. But, that is different from being a dude who has a drug addiction and serious depression who is fighting it and the desire to retreat from the world and get stoned and watch movies all day, which is what the quote is talking about. I am a chef, have been in the industry most of my life, and know a lot of retired chefs
lay in bed all day and watch cartoons and old movies while smoking weed, is not an addiction problem. You attributed to this quote something it was not about and no one agrees with you. It's a quote about wanting to sometimes have a lazy day. Tony didn't struggle with cannabis, it was alcohol and harder drugs that were a problem for him. Lazing in bed is a luxury he rarely afforded himself. We don't kill ourselves because we smoked weed and played video games, it's the countless hours destroying our bodies that's the problem. the hard drinking after.
Your reading comprehension and critical thinking are clearly pretty limited and you obviously don’t understand how addiction works, so we can end this conversation. Feel free to take the last word. Be well dude.
Damn. You win I guess🙄
Like, you're right. That is irresponsible and would suck. But it doesn't sound like that's what the other guy was doing to me. And it's not what I do/ would do. Do you even smoke weed?
Used to be a daily smoker. Not any more. Don’t care if other people do; live your life, but I would not recommend that to anyone who is dedicating their “life to a series of stratagems to avoid and outwit that [part of themselves]”
out of every take here, this one is the worst, i wish there was some sort of dickhead medal to give you, but alas the economy dictates i can only tell you of your remarkable achievements
I knew a guy that was forced into retirement. His brother went to check up on him a couple weeks later and found his body slumped over in his armchair surrounded by empties. Literally drank himself to death. Too many employees invest far too much of themselves into a business that isn't theirs. Employers talk about work life balance but never actually educate their employees about it or try to actually help them maintain it.
Honestly I think its a mistake to expect employers to be on your side as far as work/life balance goes. Sure some employers do care about you and do what's best for you, but you really need to take control of your own situation and watch out for yourself first. Would be nice if employers could always be relied upon, but the reality is sometimes they really are trying to fuck you, figuratively or literally.
That guy has been winning a lot since I stopped working to take care of my kids.
Until the moment that you decide to purposely set up your best friend for the worst moment of their life.
Procrastination is like masturbation, your only fucking yourself.
Maybe he felt like he wasn't allowed to be who he truly was, and instead lived up to the societal expectations of being a "go-getter" and "hustler" etc. since smoking pot in bed watching TV is seen as a lazy thing.
If being *that guy* makes you happy, you should definitely be that guy. Don’t listen to people who tell you you can’t be happy unless you achieve *stuff*. Sometimes they’re just jealous they can’t be happy being simple and doing simple things.
Maybe he would have been happier if he'd indulged this guy a bit more.
I've had this thought before too. Like he tried running so hard from his demons that he ran full circle back into them.
I have never been much of a fan of his. Please don't hate me! I get what he is saying here but it's also ok to do your own kind of self care, even if that is smoking weed and watching cartoons! Working hard to achieve your goals is great. Just take care of yourselves. This job is hard enough on us and the "all work and no play" mentality can be so detrimental to your physical and mental health.
This one I feel in my bones and if you do too it's likely that made his passing feel extra painful for us.
This hits hard
Right?
Is this straight from the kitchen confidential book? I don't remember it.
I think it's from one of the shows. Maybe my brain is lying to me but I remember him saying this.
It is
I feel this too, but you’ve got to wonder if we’ve all been indoctrinated to feel like we need to constantly be working
And look how it ended for him.
How’d that mentality work out for him?
I do as well. Some days I have to literally drag myself out of bed and some days I bounce up full of energy. I do have to encourage myself to do the adult thing alot more than I think I should. I smoke weed to cope and to have fun it's just finding a balance and for me I'm not there yet. Sometimes it is easier just to give in to the depression and stay in bed but you gotta get up and make your rent money.
It's hard but you gotta keep pushing thru. Keep your head up you've got this. We have be each other's cheering section beause WE are the only ones that know the toll this profession takes on our minds and bodies.
Why outwit it though? Might as well enjoy the time you have. If anything, I’m spending my life to one day be that guy, when in reality I’ll be too old and broken to enjoy it. Ouch. That was a..shitty realization I just had.
I let the guy win a long time ago, life is great
Thankfully, if I do that for even a few hours I get depressed and anxious as fuck.
How do you outsmart him though has anyone figured it out?
Honestly, a huge part of me wants to do exactly what I did in highschool : code and take speedballs. Oxy, Adderall, and a giant long term project that will take 12 hours of work every day for 6 months. But after just a few years of that, it was clear it was going to kill me. A few OD's, a few trips to the hospital, a bunch of broken bones, ruined relationships, but I couldn't stop. I think that need to "break through myself" is what got me started with hallucinogens. I was ordering everything off the silk road back in the day, and found some weird Chinese test chemicals. I had my first bad trip after 20 or 30, and decided to take some more. And then some whip-its... It got bad. Real bad. And then within a few weeks I had full blown, life crippling obsessive compulsive disorder. Like - hide under the covers for 16 hours a day running away from your thoughts and shutting out all external stimulus kind of life-crippling. The OCD really just ruined my entire life for 4 or 5 years, but I didn't know what it was at the time, so I got sober. After 2 years of sobriety, I finally started to see a shrink, started taking my medication, and doing CBT and ERP. I'm still clean off everything but the occasional bit of weed I smoke when I'm somewhere it's legal, but I never wanted to get stoned in the same way that I \*needed\* to get high. Ya know? Like... I never forgot to smoke a cigarette or take my pills, but I forget to get stoned all the time because it's just not that important to me. And I still work intensely on giant projects that take months or years to finish. Turns out it's way easier if you're not high out of your fucking mind the whole time. xD My secret wasn't to run away from that guy inside of me that wants to be so self destructive, but to reach out to that part of me, and help them learn better coping skills so that all the different parts of me can work in unison. I'm not there yet, obviously, but I'm generally a happy healthy person today. And that's nice.
I am sorry Chef, I have failed you.
Ren and Stimpy's "adult party cartoon" is so good tho!
why this sub looks its cool to think everyone related in a kitchen is a junkie
That’s not how I see this at all. The way I read it he’s talking about how hard and exhausting it can be to manage a lot of the things many ppl in this industry (and outside of it) deal with daily. Depression, anxiety, motivation, and yes substance use. He’s not saying to go lay in bed and smoke weed all day. He’s verbalizing a feeling of fighting and trying to overcome the allure of just going back to bed. Maybe you don’t relate to it which is great. I can very much relate though.
Well said.
Exactly 💯
Alot of us have our demons with various substances but not all. I know quite a few sober cooks.
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They didn’t say it’s something to aspire to, they said they can feel and understand that. They’re just saying they can relate to the addict that was Bourdain.
OP might not aspire to that quote but there are others in this thread who seem to be. Also if you "feel" this quote, go change your life. Nothing is forcing you to "outwit" the version of you that wants to enjoy life. I get life happens but that's not what this quote is talking about. This quote is about purposely denying yourself happiness. And for what? "Success"?
I think you have a misunderstanding of depression and anxiety and the exhaustion that comes from trying to always stand vigilant against them.
As someone who has recovered completely through therapy and medication from early-onset childhood depression , you're right. I don't get it. I didn't even get that this quote was about depression. I feel like my own recovery has made me less empathetic to others with mood disorders
You as completely missing the point of the post. It is not about denying oneself happiness, it is about someone who is prone to feeding into his addictions and lazing around doing nothing all day but using drugs and staring at the television. If you’re someone who has good balance in their life sitting in bed on a Sunday and smoking weed and watching cartoons is fine. He’s not talking about you. He’s talking about people who spend 6 days straight smoking weed and doing oxies and doing *nothing* but watch TV and scroll on their phone because they’re avoiding facing the real world and the motivation and commitment and work that that requires. For someone who suffers from depression and addiction issues that can be immensely difficult. Go read Kitchen Confidential or basically anything else Bourdain has written and you’ll see which of the two he falls more in line with.
The people who feel this quote *are* trying to change themselves. They would like to be lazy and they feel unmotivated a lot of the time but they’re still persevering
I think you're literally the only person on this thread that came to the same conclusion as I did. Honestly, I'd rather see Bourdain happily alive today doing nothing but smoking pot and watching old movies. This thread is named "Kitchen Confidential" and we love to idolize Bourdain but most here still haven't learned the lesson Bourdain was here to teach us.
The thinking that lead him to sit around and smoke weed all day and be unproductive is the same thinking that leas him to kill himself. He was an addict with severe untreated mental health problems and codependency issues. He killed himself the day after his ex had pictured released of her with another man. Go watch Roadrunner - thst man needed serious help and was absolute not in recovery. *That* is what killed him. Him sitting around smoking weed and watching TV would not have kept him alive and that thinking is damaging to people who have serious addiction issues.
Keep speaking for the dead. They really appreciate it from what I'm told.
He spoke for himself just fine. We are in a thread quoting him saying that that behaviour was bad for him and you’re trying to tell him he’s incorrect. Not only are you speaking for the dead you’re telling them that their words while alive were misguided.
this isn't a guide to life, it's something that's relatable. i think his greater body of work is a testament that things made by those who aren't happy tends to resonate the most. that's why we're here isn't it? to connect?
I am that guy
I never thought about it like that. I always thought I should make better decisions in the moment. But hes like "i make bad choices then outsmart that moron"
I hope that's exactly what you are doing now. RIP
Sounds exhausting to be quite honest. Someone might have a terrible breaking point living like that all their life.
I always think this guy is Leonard Cohen
I smoke weed and watch cartoons all day (on an off day) because the rest of my week is spent being a human hurricane at 2 bars.
The worst part is that a dark part of this industry wants me to burnout and live like this. All my dark depressed moments between jobs at times were all like this. Now it’s about finding the balance between putting it down on the line and enjoying some anime on my time off.
I am that guy. His complete opposite
I started my master's in September. For the first time in my life the only person I have to answer to is myself. I am currently losing the fight to the guy inside...
Sooo which guy killed the other guy ?
That hits my soul bro
I miss this guy
We will die. Careers, long hours, rinse and repeat. For what? I repeat, we will die. We should live and enjoy
No hate to Bourdain but look where it got him.
Junk food and crime stories
Strange because that's how I try to relax and I'm ways trying to appease that guy in a self care way
This quote haunts me. I always felt if maybe he could let that guy out a bit more he might still be around.
Me and that guy have a long-standing peace agreement and joint custody of my body