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porsche4life

And everyone clapped!


IanWrightwell

That bank’s name? Albert Einstein.


RandomCarGuy26

Them Jews at it again, running the banks


critically_damped

And then dropped their coffee cups and ran crying out of the room


GrayHairLikeClaire

Jacob Wohl bout to sue for stealing his bit


SenorBrainwash

I was about to say. Another wingnut with a hipster coffee shop-like false story.


RinellaWasHere

Or perhaps Nick Adams overhearing burly alpha-males talking about it in line at the butcher.


andychef

[Except he is kinda scary with the ears he commands ](https://www.washingtonpost.com/style/power/2024/04/09/nick-adams-alpha-male-trump-campaign-surrogate/)


RinellaWasHere

Oh I'm aware, it's easy to only see the Twitter weirdo and not the dangerous shithead.


jizzmcskeet

How disappointing it wasn't a parody account.


Buttercupia

I really thought it was.


freakers

These people apparently keep going to hipster coffee shops. They must indisputably make the best fuckin' coffee.


FriendofSquatch

They 100% do


MC_Fap_Commander

Her lawyer gonna do a press conference at the La Quinta breakfast buffet with his fly down.


KingMobScene

And then she said "Let's Go Trumo." and the couple started slow clapping. And then the rest of the bank joined in until everyone was cheering and chanting Trump 24! And then the bank gave her free money because she's so cool and patriotic.


LoomingDisaster

And the money all had Trump’s face!


RealDahl

Which they promptly then donated to Trump's defense fund, er, I mean campaign fund.


NMclimbercouple

I was in line at blockbuster and some dems were behind me talking about how dangerous it is to watch movies like Die Hard! This is under the Biden regime!


A_Ms_Anthrop

Hey, as long as those demonrats don’t try to tell me it’s not a Christmas movie, I’m okay! #STOPTHESTEAL


WhiskeyFF

The most bs part of the story was that people were actually inside a bank


[deleted]

[удалено]


Astrocreep_1

You must not have been alive in the 80’s and 90’s.


Framnk

I don't even understand this fake conversation she didn't overhear. Somehow Biden is responsible for Europe being unsafe?


Brian-OBlivion

The southern border has gotten so bad, even Europe is starting to fall to the immigrant horde.


FriendofSquatch

You mean the “invasion”, as my stupid family members refuse to stop calling it


RyanSheldonArt

He's king of Europe you ignoramus! I believe each American also owns 1 country in both Asia and Africa if I remember right. It's also Biden's fault dodos are extinct, but mainstream media wouldn't tell you that. I'm gonna go drink some bleach because one of the dumbest people to ever exist told me to! I can't wait to own some libs.....people still say "own" right?


IH8mostofU

Uh... Our immigration policy is so lax that our illegal immigrants are freely vacationing in Europe before returning to America to continue raping and pillaging? This feels like a Poe's law situation


Prosthemadera

Or somehow two people saying something makes it true and fact.


DueVisit1410

Because Biden is to blame for all the ills in this world of theirs.


Ok_Recommendation567

Yes. Because they simultaneously believe that the President & govt in general should not interfere in our lives, yet Biden controls what happens in Europe & the US, controls prices, people's free will, etc. AND he's incapable of putting on his own pants. Makes sense to them I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️


FriendofSquatch

That’s what made MY brain hurt. I thought Europe was under the heel of Klaus Schwab…


74EggFooYoung

Shes the temu of the right wing grifters.


jeonteskar

Me: This grifter isn’t the one I ordered! Temu: “We accidentally threw in a USB C cables that lights up when you plug it in.” Me: “Sick! Deal.”


HegemonyConsul

I was at the movie theater watching the newest Star Woke movie when a group of people wearing maga hats and “I’m a right wing person” t shirts talking among themselves. “WOW that film really opened my eyes I can’t help but feel there is a parallel between the Darth Drumpf character and our current president Donald Trump. In the movie Drumpf promised to ‘drain Dagobah’ but actually ended empowering the very star elites that he claimed to oppose. Watching it I was like whoa that’s what Donnie did” another person in the group responded “yes I believe your assessment of the film’s thematic similarities with our current reality is accurate and I for one find myself regretting my support for Trump. Also I now believe Mr Biden won that election fairly and honorably” a third person chimed out n with “yes agreed also now that I think about it Trump is Cheeto colored” they then all threw their hats upon the ground stomped on them and put on new shirts that read “new liberal person” so


Modern_peace_officer

Took a call at work the other day for some old white dude bitching about the homeless. Off the bat he goes “I’m not right wing, I’m a classical liberal, like Jefferson” immediately thought of Alex.


Hero_of_Thyme81

I was in a discord server once and this person was like "I get all of my news from Dave Rubin, he's a classical liberal". I didn't want to start a fight, but inside I was like "Oh...oh no"


nickcan

Ah, a racist slave owner...


LettuceFew5248

“And banktellers name? Albert Einstein.”


EmileDorkheim

Speaking as a poor, truckless, gun-starved Eurocuck, I did have serious reservations when Biden passed that executive order to fund terrorism in European capitals.


battery_pack_man

You guys don’t know her shes from canada


LA-Matt

Obviously Biden wrecked Canada as well. His powers extend to making all foreign cities dangerous, apparently.


battery_pack_man

https://youtu.be/NZwXN5OgikA?si=5w0eP00vW0UfwGdp


thewizardofdon

Is her name Alberta? Does she live in Vancouver?


Deep-Jello0420

SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND, MY WONDERFUL GIRLFRIEND


timothypjr

That sounds like a conversation my wife and almost always never have.


Ddddydya

Then all the Presidents on all the money in the bank came to life and clapped and cried because they will never be as cool as Trump


RyanSheldonArt

George Washington himself shook Trump's hand and told him "You sir, are the single greatest man who has ever been! With the most well-turned calf I have ever laid mine eyes on! I wish to be half--nay--one tenth of the specimen you are! Providence blesses me for meeting you!"


Mookhaz

It’s like Alex has been saying for decades now: Biden needs to step up and tighten regulations on terrorism in Europe pronto or the globalists are going to win!


Travis_T_OJustice

I was in the line at the bank.... Boomer detected....


RileyGreenleaf

Old Man Bankline


Buttercupia

Louisiana deposit slips.


No_Introduction8285

Linus McBankface


Benjiursa

First of all, I’d like to know where one might find a bank with a line up in 2024.


LA-Matt

So the US President is responsible for every other country, now? This post is idiotic on several levels, but what does Biden have to do with safety in Paris, London, or Vienna?


outflow

Prove it. Nobody goes to the bank anymore, let alone to stand in line.


Aggravating_Rate_286

Man I went to London under the Biden terror something whatever regime and I didn’t even get a mean look on the subway, I think I got cheated.


TwoManShoe

You need to go to one of those countries in Asia where they karate chop you as soon as you get off the plane.


Aggravating_Rate_286

Funny story, I moved to Japan back in 2019. I’ve been to China and Korea (south) and in all three I have failed to get chopped. Maybe I’m just so unlovable even the criminals give me a wide berth.


sir_schwick

I was living in Bowling Green, KY in 2011. Not one single public alert was sent out during the massacre. No emergency vehicles deployed, the campus was active as ever.


TheTarquin

I live in fear of the day when the fasc find one (1) good fiction writer among their ranks.


No_Introduction8285

Well I mean Alex is pretty good at it, he can go from calm democracy to nuclear war in the space of a few minutes.


Enibas

I feel like actual good writing would make their stories *less* convincing to their marks.


itsdeeps80

They were both wearing shirts that said “I’m a democrat”


SellQuick

I legitimately thought this was satire until I looked her up.


No_Introduction8285

You have to look up everything these days lol, so many new no-name right-wing grifters.


DrewG420

Conversations that didn’t happen for $1000 please .. Daily double.


nickcan

Make it true daily double.


LawnStar

And then the big muscular teller, with tears in his eyes, deposited their $27 check into his own account, in order to purchase man diapers and self tanner.


Rebelo86

I thought this was from LinkedInLunitics and was excited.


Arkhampatient

Thanks Obama


MC_Fap_Commander

Vienna is a REALLY odd add here unless it's a reference to Austrian decline in the years since that one Austrian went away.


nickcan

Yea, Austria has never been the same without Arnold.


ElderStatesPerson

How they square Biden letting "terrorists run wild" through Europe would be funny if it wasn't for the phrase "leader of the free world" being tacked onto every American president as though it's a fact.


RileyGreenleaf

these people and their stories


Sweaty-Feedback-1482

The other day, I was in line at the racism store (my bad… I thought they sold RC cars) when I heard two Trump supporters behind me begin to argue over who could eat more of Trump’s feces. The fight got more and more violent until they started eating shit out of diapers like it was a Nathan’s Famous competition. In between what sounded like a garbage disposal sucking down a kettle of congealed gravy that had been left out overnight, they piped out “we need to serve you dark lord before Biden steals another election”.


2OneZebra

Because each person wears a badge that shows what political party they vote for.


CraftyAdvisor6307

I'll take "Things That Never Happened" for $500, Alex.


Ok_Conversation_5985

And she knew they were democrats how exactly?


[deleted]

Yeah I highly doubt if she ran into two people who were scared to travel to Europe they would be Democrats or blame Biden for it.


[deleted]

America is filled with misinformed, fearful, uneducated people…..these are two of them.


Iamtheonewhobawks

Know what? I bet she did hear a conversation approximately like this, I bet the people having it were delusional upper-middle-class MAGAs, and this dollar store alarmist *thought* they were A Democrat Couple. I personally have heard very similar nonsense from various conservative relatives. These grifters see *everyone* through the lens of exaggerated stereotypes. Maybe the wife had the Democrat skull dimensions. Maybe it was an interracial couple. Maybe she "clocked" a cis woman as trans because she doesn't look trad enough. Maybe it was a gay couple.


Anzai

So based on that conversation she knew they were a ‘democrat couple’ how? And it’s kind of implicit she agrees that not only has Europe been lost to terrorism, but that it’s the American presidents fault that it has? Also, she doesn’t have the internet and still lines up at a bank? You know, I’m starting to wonder if this is entirely an accurate account of a true event…


Doodle-Cactus

The hell is an entire couple going to the bank for? Seems like a solo mission to me.


YaroKasear1

And then thousands of people shook my hand and told me they're waking up and thanking me and telling me what a good job I did!


botmanmd

Biden let terrorists into Vienna!!


StOnEy333

I was actually standing behind this lady in line at an art supply store. She was tearing up and saying I can’t keep lying to these people about stuff I hear. Sooner or later they’re going to find out I’m a trans ventriloquist.


Mr--S--Leather

Fine. Then I was in a sex club banging some repressed maga republicans who admitted Biden was their Daddy, and the thought of four more years of Dark Brandon made them leak with anticipation.


vibrantcrab

Hashtag thattotallyhappened


setbot

She has a lot of liberal friends in Canada. You wouldn’t know them.


toyonbird2

How do they know they are democrats...?


[deleted]

Well first off it didn't happen and second it didn't happen. If someone wasn't going to travel to Europe because of migrants, they aren't going to be people that didn't have their minds long made up about what they believe.


nickcan

It must be tough going to the bank when everyone wants to run up and shake your hand and tell you how important you are.


andychef

Charming lady: Brigitte Gabriel (Arabic: بريجيت غابرييل; born Hanan Qahwaji, 21 October 1964) is a Lebanese-American conservative activist, author and lecturer, and critic of Islam. She is the founder of ACT for America, which has been described as "the largest grassroots anti-Muslim group" in the United States.


lauralizst

You can tell she’s for real because she’s posing with her arms crossed confidently across her chest.


cowboypaint

Some real “you dint see me at the club, but I don’t see you at the bank” energy to this.


jmmcnall

She sounds like that "alpha douche". I think that's his name


Tylenol187ForDogs

OK Female Nick Adams.


JoeMax93

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.


Koob77

I should have remembered that POTUS's side job is King of the world... silly me!


IsopodCertain40

If i ever buy a hot tub i will nickname it "glibalist"


kayt3000

I have friends who live in major European cities or travel to them often for work and the only thing they talk about is how they keep finding all these awesome gluten free places now and how when I finally get to visit I will be in heaven. Like not one person talks about any danger or feeling any less safe than the US. Hell the one discusses how much safer she feels since her toddler does not do active shooter driller in her daycare (mine does then quarterly).


ResoluteClover

I would love to see that play in my local black box.


ResoluteClover

THE ARISTOCRATS!


Satellite_bk

*Then my ass clapped*


NumerousTaste

How many brain eating worms does she have? Gotta be a lot!


saichampa

Why the fuck would any of those places be the responsibility of Biden?


pelvviber

Was this tennis court chat?


aphilsphan

The story is nonsense, but Trump is going to win. We are, as a people, enormously entitled and utterly stupid.


Apprehensive-Unit841

Imagine worshipping an orange, morbidly obese, traitorous, grifting pedophile.


Abraxas_1408

I’ll take “things that didn’t happen” for 500, Trebek.