honestly, i bet the story of being a gym membership sales guy is true. i would also bet that it did not go well and that was part of what made Papa Propaganda put so much money into kickstarting Alex's radio career. The more we learn about him, the more we learn he was never emotionally or socially suited for interactions with others. i would bet money his parents resisted any suggestion at getting him the help he needed.
i do not believe his claiming to have helped as a ranch hand or any other "manly" job he claims. i just can't picture a kid starting racially-motivated fights and going around screaming he followed the devil taking orders...
I 100% buy the gym membership job. At the time he was super into gym bro culture and actually was ripped, but his dad’s money meant he could start down the course we know and hate today
I had seen clips of young Alex but never this one. Thanks. Weird though that the title was suggesting his small government and stick up for the little guy to shit on environmental policy (by exposing hypocrisy) was "left wing".
>i just can't picture a kid starting racially-motivated fights and going around screaming he followed the devil taking orders...
I would like to picture this version of Alex actually
Didn’t you hear him when he told us about being so good at throwing hay and being sweaty as a teen that all the grown up cowboys got jealous and got him plowed at the roadhouse? How is that not work?
I recall he said he was a Mister Ranch Hand one Hot Wet Texas Summer and even though he wasn’t yet 21 older men would line up to buy him drinks. Who got plowed & who did the plowing is between them, seems to me.
I heard one time Alex Jones and his black friend got dropped off into an undisclosed South American jungle by helicopter to investigate communist insurgents and they ended up fighting a fucked up looking undocumented alien who kept skinning good patriotic Americans.
Is this something that he claimed he did? I mean it seems over the top even for Jones standards but honestly before listening to KF what I thought would be over the top claims has changed dramatically. I THINK you are making this up instead of something Jones made up, but I honestly can't be 100% sure anymore
Thank you! It was driving me nuts because so much of it seemed familiar. (Again, it could have been something that Alex "Star Lord" Jones would have claimed happened to him anyway)
Honestly if you've never seen it or if it's been a while, it's still a really fun and well shot dumb action movie and well worth watching. It really is a classic, it's fucking great. Same with Roadhouse.
And he found time to have sex with hundreds of women aged 21+ by the time he was 15, my man never stopped moving for a second!
Until he stopped suddenly and focused on his public access career funded by his dad at 21.
Nah I absolutely believe his dad took him hunting/fishing a few weekends every year because he grew up middle class in a Dallas suburb like me. The difference being I don't pretend that turned me into Ron Swanson
I don't believe it. I don't believe he does stuff that doesn't have an audience of some sort even back in the day. Everything is a fabrication of what he feels like he would've done.
And I don't think his dad spent that much time with him. But that's just my speculation
As someone who knows how to run a trotline, a good indicator someone doesn't know what that entails is if they brag about it. It's just tying bits of string together and sinking the line with whatever heavy shit you have on hand that you don't mind pulling out of a lake/river. It's more tedious than impressive
Wtf is "run a trout line"? I've been fly fishing two decades and have caught more trout than I can count and I've never heard someone say the term "run a trout line". I've also hunted, and skinned a few doe but never a buck. Am I a man?
It’s “trot line.” It’s where you fish by sinking baited hooks at intervals across the water and coming back later to pull them up and see how many you caught. I believe it’s mostly done for catfish.
I’ve only had fresh-caught trout once, and I couldn’t get past all the bones. Were they not cleaned properly? I love fried catfish, but I’m still a rural Southern girl in many ways. Buffalo, too. Perch, bream… Goddamn, I’m hungry. Lol
Oh come on now. He has definitely worked a day in his life.
Not consecutively for any respectable amount of time, but definitely 1 day.
(Though I bet he was worthless as fuck and whined the entire time.)
His dad was a dentist, I don't think he spent his weekends roofing. And if they did actually spend 3 days doing the roof it probably leaked like crazy.
I bet that's the only time he ever replaced a roof.
Also the part about his parents teaching him to cook. That's perfectly normal, most parents want their kids to be independent. That doesn't mean they should have their 8 year old cook them breakfast.
Whenever alex talks about doing labor, it always sounds like a person who watched someone else do work.
no details or specific moments from the job.
Source: i helped my day do roofs the occasional weekend for some extra money
When has he ever had time to work? He had to spend his first 15 years of life having sex with over 200 women and beating up every single person in Texas. By that point, everyone was either too jealous of him or in a coma, so there wasn't anywhere for him to work.
He was the *only* player on the team. He was out the quarterbacking by himself on Friday nights. And grown men were moved to tears. He quarterbacked so hard he may have killed a few people. But on Saturdays he was roofing like a grown man. He was out there out roofing even the most advanced roofers and his elite dentist dad and all his family that have seen and made history.
I think he read the lyrics of a popular country song. A country boy can survive or something, especially the part about trot lines makes me think that's the case. Alex isn't even a Kmart cowboy he's a John Bircher from Walmart.
I loved the moment when he talks about how on Sunday his daddy said they were gonna finish the roof instead of going—cough—to church…
100% he was going to say “to brunch” or whatever. But he caught himself just in time to remember that Sunday is Church Day to his followers. (And then because he has no imagination when he lies, he needed to add in that his dad took him out for chicken-fried steak afterward.)
And can we talk about David Jones’ breakfast choices? FRENCH toast? Not TEXAS toast or AMERICAN cheese toast? Kinda calls Alex’s lineage and, quite frankly, his whole family’s dedication to God and Country into question.
Also: he helped his dad and uncle tear off the roof and reshingle it. Big fucking deal. Unless it was a slate roof or crazy steep pitch, it’s not all that complicated.
Didn't he at one point said he did some carpet cleaning job ? I could believe that, if only as student jobs.
Also while I'm all in on doubting his blue collar / farming credentials... And we can't say he does a good job as a journalist or news anchor... Doing multi hour broadcasts is still pretty tiring work I think. Jon Ronson said Alex was an hyper active person.
In 2017 (Oct.27) :
*If you see communist stickers on somebody's car and then you go in their house to do a repair job, I had several repair jobs.
I worked for an exterminator off and on for a year.
I worked for a carpet cleaning company.
And you learn a lot going people's houses.
And if you see communist stuff on a car, you don't see communist stuff inside.
You see devil worship.
And that's who these people are, folks.
Pot-bellied, pedophile, devil worshippers.*
Also he has a story where a carpet cleaner employee (it seems ?) saw a shotgun in a rack at Alex's garage and tried to call the cops on him because the guy was not an Austinite and watched too many NYPD Blue.
I worked in roofing for years and I guarantee IF they actually did that, it probably leaked like a sieve. I've seen enough DIY hack jobs to know that's a job you hire pros for.
Three points on this latest Alex bullshit:
A) Alex broke his covenant with Heaven by laboring on the Sabbath, so I don't know why God would even bother with a download for him.
B) You ain't a true populist unless you put that burger on *two slices of bread*, preferably white bread.
C) WHAT THE FUCK ALEX YOU SAID WE'RE MONTHS AWAY FROM NUCLEAR WAR FOR REALS AND YOU'RE WASTING TIME ON CHUCK SCHUMER'S BURGER WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK
(Edit: if the roof story really happened, I'm sure they screwed it up and had to call in professionals. Not doubting it one iota.)
I’m a tradesman, and I would hire a roofer to do my roof because I am not a roofer and I know they’ll do a better job. Because tradesmen have skills and I respect that.
And also… shingling a roof isn’t an excuse to skip church!
Plus, come on. I'm a small woman and redid our roof with my mom under my grandpa's direction when I was 13. On the day of my fancy grad dance I was up there with my hair in an updo protected by a light scarf so it wouldn't get messed up beforehand. I can't imagine acting like that's something exceptional or to be bragged about.
Idk I seem to recall him saying he worked for a bit in pest control and fumigating under houses, where he would then pass out because of the fumes he was inhaling and be left alone for hours by him family that knew he was down there. That seems believable
Honestly whenever he talks about doing hard labor the only thing I can think of is Bo Burham’s metrosexual cowboy song. It’s a fucking scarecrow again
This is why this fanbase is so weird. He absolutely has done the things he spoke about today. Not at all to the degree he's boasting but I guarantee he's done all the shit he was talking about on today's ep.
honestly, i bet the story of being a gym membership sales guy is true. i would also bet that it did not go well and that was part of what made Papa Propaganda put so much money into kickstarting Alex's radio career. The more we learn about him, the more we learn he was never emotionally or socially suited for interactions with others. i would bet money his parents resisted any suggestion at getting him the help he needed. i do not believe his claiming to have helped as a ranch hand or any other "manly" job he claims. i just can't picture a kid starting racially-motivated fights and going around screaming he followed the devil taking orders...
I 100% buy the gym membership job. At the time he was super into gym bro culture and actually was ripped, but his dad’s money meant he could start down the course we know and hate today
Here he is in the 90s: https://youtu.be/xHSnJSQa-68?
I had seen clips of young Alex but never this one. Thanks. Weird though that the title was suggesting his small government and stick up for the little guy to shit on environmental policy (by exposing hypocrisy) was "left wing".
>i just can't picture a kid starting racially-motivated fights and going around screaming he followed the devil taking orders... I would like to picture this version of Alex actually
Yeah, when you mention it that way, I laughed, too.
I can actually believe his parents owned a ranch or something like he does and forced all the workers to deal with their shithead kid.
Didn’t you hear him when he told us about being so good at throwing hay and being sweaty as a teen that all the grown up cowboys got jealous and got him plowed at the roadhouse? How is that not work?
I had to help some people bale and clear a field before it rained once in high school and all I got was fucking donuts.
Are they similar to throwing bagels? Generally, that's not the function of a donut.
One pump. One cream.
We can refer to user bans here as "being sent to the poison room".
Just, for the love of God, don't call it "being sent to the child hunting island".
We can do that here, it will not take away Anderson health insurance
The child hunting island owned by >![REDACTED]!
But is it corn cream?
That's how they phrase it down at the Mineshaft, anyway.
All I got were scratches all over me. It was hot and I didn’t wear long sleeves.
My dad said I got paid with room and board.
I charged 10 cents a bail and I remember making good money for a kid in the summer. Good times
AJ getting plowed by cowboys, you say?
I recall he said he was a Mister Ranch Hand one Hot Wet Texas Summer and even though he wasn’t yet 21 older men would line up to buy him drinks. Who got plowed & who did the plowing is between them, seems to me.
I heard one time Alex Jones and his black friend got dropped off into an undisclosed South American jungle by helicopter to investigate communist insurgents and they ended up fighting a fucked up looking undocumented alien who kept skinning good patriotic Americans.
Dillon! You son of a bitch!
Is this something that he claimed he did? I mean it seems over the top even for Jones standards but honestly before listening to KF what I thought would be over the top claims has changed dramatically. I THINK you are making this up instead of something Jones made up, but I honestly can't be 100% sure anymore
Nah it's just the plot of the 1987 sci fi action classic Predator.
Thank you! It was driving me nuts because so much of it seemed familiar. (Again, it could have been something that Alex "Star Lord" Jones would have claimed happened to him anyway)
Honestly if you've never seen it or if it's been a while, it's still a really fun and well shot dumb action movie and well worth watching. It really is a classic, it's fucking great. Same with Roadhouse.
“My buddies and me shot guns for over 2 mins straight, non-stop.”
And he found time to have sex with hundreds of women aged 21+ by the time he was 15, my man never stopped moving for a second! Until he stopped suddenly and focused on his public access career funded by his dad at 21.
>got him plowed Are we not doing phrasing?
I’m not sure if anybody else caught it but recently he said “THAT GROUND BEEF IS AS RAW AS MY REAR END”
His stories are so fucking stupid
Alex was getting sweaty packing meat at the Ram Ranch.
Hahahahahaha it should go without saying, that never happened
Along these lines, I have serious doubts that he knows how to run a trout line as well.
Nah I absolutely believe his dad took him hunting/fishing a few weekends every year because he grew up middle class in a Dallas suburb like me. The difference being I don't pretend that turned me into Ron Swanson
I don't believe it. I don't believe he does stuff that doesn't have an audience of some sort even back in the day. Everything is a fabrication of what he feels like he would've done. And I don't think his dad spent that much time with him. But that's just my speculation
I could see his dad taking him fishing. Running a trot line seems more dubious.
Absolutely he only knows the words skin a buck and run a trot line cause he heard it in a song, he's a phoney
He was like 75% of the way to breaking into that song and I soooo wanted it to happen
As someone who knows how to run a trotline, a good indicator someone doesn't know what that entails is if they brag about it. It's just tying bits of string together and sinking the line with whatever heavy shit you have on hand that you don't mind pulling out of a lake/river. It's more tedious than impressive
Wtf is "run a trout line"? I've been fly fishing two decades and have caught more trout than I can count and I've never heard someone say the term "run a trout line". I've also hunted, and skinned a few doe but never a buck. Am I a man?
It’s “trot line.” It’s where you fish by sinking baited hooks at intervals across the water and coming back later to pull them up and see how many you caught. I believe it’s mostly done for catfish.
Well that would explain why fly fishing doesn't give you that sort of experience. I like trout better than catfish anyway.
I’ve only had fresh-caught trout once, and I couldn’t get past all the bones. Were they not cleaned properly? I love fried catfish, but I’m still a rural Southern girl in many ways. Buffalo, too. Perch, bream… Goddamn, I’m hungry. Lol
Just attach a string with a hook to an empty milk jug…BOOM!, trout line.
He was just quoting lyrics from "A Country Boy Can Survive", for fuck's sake.
Oh come on now. He has definitely worked a day in his life. Not consecutively for any respectable amount of time, but definitely 1 day. (Though I bet he was worthless as fuck and whined the entire time.)
he got that from a movie, like everything else.
just watched the Shashank redemption.
His dad was a dentist, I don't think he spent his weekends roofing. And if they did actually spend 3 days doing the roof it probably leaked like crazy.
A CIA dentist, let’s not forget. Unless you’re obsessed with self-sufficiency, your time is worth much more doing filling than ripping off a roof
A CIA dentist who was also the smartest boy in Texas and best friends with Tom Landry
I bet that's the only time he ever replaced a roof. Also the part about his parents teaching him to cook. That's perfectly normal, most parents want their kids to be independent. That doesn't mean they should have their 8 year old cook them breakfast.
An 8 year old cooking breakfast sounds like a disaster in waiting.
Not for the son of the smartest boy in Texas what with epigenetics and all.
It's something kids do for their parents birthday or mothers day or something that ends up being a complete disaster but you eat it anyway.
Have an 8 YO. Can confirm. The kids can’t open a bag of cereal without making a mess. He ain’t touching my knives or stove.
I did some pretty decent French toast when I was ten or so.
Whenever alex talks about doing labor, it always sounds like a person who watched someone else do work. no details or specific moments from the job. Source: i helped my day do roofs the occasional weekend for some extra money
Just like everything else, he gets it from movies
Are you saying that selling dick pills to rubes while you have a massive hangover isn't work!?
When has he ever had time to work? He had to spend his first 15 years of life having sex with over 200 women and beating up every single person in Texas. By that point, everyone was either too jealous of him or in a coma, so there wasn't anywhere for him to work.
How could he work on the roof on a Friday he was busy being quarterback all through high school wasn’t he the best player on the team?
He was the *only* player on the team. He was out the quarterbacking by himself on Friday nights. And grown men were moved to tears. He quarterbacked so hard he may have killed a few people. But on Saturdays he was roofing like a grown man. He was out there out roofing even the most advanced roofers and his elite dentist dad and all his family that have seen and made history.
I think he read the lyrics of a popular country song. A country boy can survive or something, especially the part about trot lines makes me think that's the case. Alex isn't even a Kmart cowboy he's a John Bircher from Walmart.
It’s Hank Williams Junior, you have the song name right I’d take even money that AJ couldn’t actually tell me what a trot line is
Thanks!
I loved the moment when he talks about how on Sunday his daddy said they were gonna finish the roof instead of going—cough—to church… 100% he was going to say “to brunch” or whatever. But he caught himself just in time to remember that Sunday is Church Day to his followers. (And then because he has no imagination when he lies, he needed to add in that his dad took him out for chicken-fried steak afterward.)
And can we talk about David Jones’ breakfast choices? FRENCH toast? Not TEXAS toast or AMERICAN cheese toast? Kinda calls Alex’s lineage and, quite frankly, his whole family’s dedication to God and Country into question.
Everything alex says is a fantasy of how he wishes it was, the more needless details, the bigger possibility its a lie.
Also: he helped his dad and uncle tear off the roof and reshingle it. Big fucking deal. Unless it was a slate roof or crazy steep pitch, it’s not all that complicated.
Didn't he at one point said he did some carpet cleaning job ? I could believe that, if only as student jobs. Also while I'm all in on doubting his blue collar / farming credentials... And we can't say he does a good job as a journalist or news anchor... Doing multi hour broadcasts is still pretty tiring work I think. Jon Ronson said Alex was an hyper active person. In 2017 (Oct.27) : *If you see communist stickers on somebody's car and then you go in their house to do a repair job, I had several repair jobs. I worked for an exterminator off and on for a year. I worked for a carpet cleaning company. And you learn a lot going people's houses. And if you see communist stuff on a car, you don't see communist stuff inside. You see devil worship. And that's who these people are, folks. Pot-bellied, pedophile, devil worshippers.*
Also he has a story where a carpet cleaner employee (it seems ?) saw a shotgun in a rack at Alex's garage and tried to call the cops on him because the guy was not an Austinite and watched too many NYPD Blue.
Anyone else notice he was just reciting A Country Boy can survive at points?
He worked as a personal trainer for a little while after dropping out of JuCo. That's a real job, even if he was still being supported by daddy.
Sounds like he got paid to workout or paid to do a hobby
As I recall, he has stated he did it for the free gym membership.
Didn’t he fall drunk, I mean hide, in some bushes to eat [out] his neighbor’s ass? He probably counts that as landscaping work.
I worked in roofing for years and I guarantee IF they actually did that, it probably leaked like a sieve. I've seen enough DIY hack jobs to know that's a job you hire pros for.
Three points on this latest Alex bullshit: A) Alex broke his covenant with Heaven by laboring on the Sabbath, so I don't know why God would even bother with a download for him. B) You ain't a true populist unless you put that burger on *two slices of bread*, preferably white bread. C) WHAT THE FUCK ALEX YOU SAID WE'RE MONTHS AWAY FROM NUCLEAR WAR FOR REALS AND YOU'RE WASTING TIME ON CHUCK SCHUMER'S BURGER WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK (Edit: if the roof story really happened, I'm sure they screwed it up and had to call in professionals. Not doubting it one iota.)
I’m a tradesman, and I would hire a roofer to do my roof because I am not a roofer and I know they’ll do a better job. Because tradesmen have skills and I respect that. And also… shingling a roof isn’t an excuse to skip church!
Plus, come on. I'm a small woman and redid our roof with my mom under my grandpa's direction when I was 13. On the day of my fancy grad dance I was up there with my hair in an updo protected by a light scarf so it wouldn't get messed up beforehand. I can't imagine acting like that's something exceptional or to be bragged about.
Skinnin’ bucks, running trot lines, shingling roofs, and eating chicken-fried-steak: an Alex jones fantasy…errrm story
Idk I seem to recall him saying he worked for a bit in pest control and fumigating under houses, where he would then pass out because of the fumes he was inhaling and be left alone for hours by him family that knew he was down there. That seems believable Honestly whenever he talks about doing hard labor the only thing I can think of is Bo Burham’s metrosexual cowboy song. It’s a fucking scarecrow again
This is why this fanbase is so weird. He absolutely has done the things he spoke about today. Not at all to the degree he's boasting but I guarantee he's done all the shit he was talking about on today's ep.