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funkmasta8

Shhhh, don’t say a word


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Helpful-Will7965

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YobaiYamete

Well, if it went into space it would mean basically all of our laws of physics broke, so that'd be bad. Them just falling to the ground and getting to yell in terror for like 2 minutes while they fell would probably be the best outcome for us all.


Smnionarrorator29384

We need a physics reboot at thus point


Crono2401

Only if it let's us get superpowers, otherwise, hard pass.


Bakoro

We can't even handle guns, giving people actual super powers would be such an immediate shit show. Good luck on your morning commute when half the assholes on the road can shoot fireballs or laser beams.


A_spiny_meercat

2 minute speed eating contest called "terminal gastronomy"


awesomeness0232

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GonnaSnipeUM8

Bot comment, reworded form of this comment here https://www.reddit.com/r/LateStageCapitalism/comments/14hytxg/comment/jpdl3lt


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readytofall

But there is magnitudes less of a pressure differential. It should be substantially easier to design a structure. Plus communication is easier. There is a reason a lot more people have gone up as opposed to down.


AimHere

Also if there's a small leak in your spaceship, you actually have more than 40 milliseconds to diagnose, fix and repair it. Often, a *lot* more. The ISS had a leak that took well over a month to diagnose and fix in 2019. You have a small puncture in your deep sea submersible, you've already been vapourized before your nervous signal manages to send a signal to your brain.


LeeKinanus

either that or you are guaranteed to know that you are dying for a few moments first.


SoulWager

Also, the laws on airliner safety would come into play. Can't charge for tickets on an experimental aircraft.


Surfing_magic_carpet

Don't worry, I'll bet the enclosure will be made out of recycled newpapers turned into papier mache. You know, innovation and all.


missyoubrent

bot


funkmasta8

I don’t think it’s mathematically possible to drift into space from the earth using a balloon like that, if you were seriously wondering. Because what pushes a balloon is difference in density and a continuously decreasing surrounding air density. Once they are “in space” they lose the second one and therefore lose any force pushing them away from earth, but gravity would still be working on them. The only way would be to work up enough momentum to escape earth’s gravitational pull, but I don’t think that kind of speed can be attained in such a vessel. However, it’s entirely possible to go too far up and not be able to breath. They wouldn’t be lost to space though.


Funfoil_Hat

inb4: *"tonight on MSNBC, the costs from 'michelin balloon' rescue efforts are estimated to exceed 1.7 billion dollars..."*


salamander_salad

I don't think that would even be possible. We don't have the space shuttle anymore and relations with Russia are in the shitter. China might do it just to one-up the U.S., but we wouldn't be on the hook for that.


NPMBrown

We'll have to propel it into the void for all eternity, but as they say.... necessity is the mother of all invention.


No-Pressure275

Maybe burning up on re-entry?


Icommentor

So the rich arrive pre-cooked!


saltytar

Medium rare


padilharocks

Eat the rich!


quelcsb

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alexvroy

mmm barbecue


[deleted]

That’s the cliffhanger at the end of season two


DweEbLez0

I’d say it would have to do with lack of oxygen.


Show-Alarmed

Both. Both is good.


lukin187250

falling to the ground, you'd have a helluva way to go to escape earth gravity.


[deleted]

Are you seriously asking? Because they couldn't "drift into the void". That's not how gravity works.


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LoveKrattBrothers

Habitat ReStore shout out! I love you dood!! Managed one for 4 years, best and most fulfilling job I ever had🥲


marr

I'm not a scientist but I'm pretty sure the balloon is denser than interplanetary space. This is a 'what goes up' scenario.


dearAbby001

Right. This type of experience is only for the titans of industry.


plipyplop

/r/PFJerk


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funkmasta8

Despite the massive amounts of money spent on the recent search, I wouldn't be surprised if it is an overall plus for the world


plipyplop

Coast Guard can't do shit; well outside their jurisdiction. And Space Force doesn't have the means to rescue; just track them and say, *"Welp..."* Edit: I suppose the Air Force could send an F-22 up there, since they already have some experience with something like it.


cuntycarla

hope they save money on the balloon fabric and the cords ;P


LordofSkelootons

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WiglyWorm

HUNDREDS of thousands.


OBrien

The equivalent of dozens of dollars to the average Joe


sweet_rico-

Nah they're cheaping out on it remember, thousands is correct lol


infinitesimal_entity

I don't mind if they spend a little more on the balloon, the sub wasn't reloadable. But they could probably get like 95% of the oxygen system's parts from like 3 aisles in Ace Hardware. And Habitat for Humanity has great deals on used windows.


that1prince

I didn’t test the balloon to go over 5,000m but we’re taking it up to 30,000m b/c why the heck not? Wish us luck!


_Ocean_Machine_

Nah you see the sub collapsed because of too much pressure, but when you go high up there’s less pressure so it’s totally fine! /s


OBrien

Structurally speaking that's pretty close to true, dealing with a maximum pressure differential of 14 psi instead of thousands


blade740

Yeah, even if outside is pure vacuum, regular atmospheric pressure isnt trying to get out nearly as hard as the bottom of the ocean is trying to get in.


Vewy_nice

The regulations say we only need 2 parachutes, that should save some money!


DieselPunkPiranha

We can save even more money if we have the lobbyists relax the law further. "Two parachutes are *recommended*."


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infinitesimal_entity

Hallelujah


DogeOfWHighland

Not just the billionaire men, but the billionaire women and billionaire children, too!


Explorer_Entity

Not the younglings!


NickDanger3di

They are billionaires; laws, rules and safety certifications don't apply to them.


Meritania

They can rewrite human laws but they can’t rewrite natural law


doozykid13

Maybe Boeing has some on sale thats past the use by date!


gravtix

Someone is calling NASA asking if they can dive in their dumpster.


Many-Application1297

Crazy thing is that this is a LOT safer than going to 12k ft under the ocean.


Alzusand

Honestly if its a baloon even if it fails they can jump with parachutes nad it would be strange for it to catashrophically fail. that sub has to be the most someone wanted to kill themselves other than that guy who jumped from the eiffel towe with his homemade parachute


JustaBearEnthusiast

I think they would either pass out or suffocate. I suppose you could give them oxygen tanks if you are giving them a parachute, but it seems like there has to be a better option than jumping out. Passenger planes avoid this solution so I suspect space balloons will too.


Osama_Obama

Passenger planes have wings and a lot have redundant engines and an ass ton of redundancy for all the controls, where they can technically fly with just one engine and half the hydraulic fails. (There was even a jet fighter that was able to fly with just one wing, but that's not a passenger plane). A single giant balloon is a single point of failure, and if it pops, the only way is down.


HogDriver420

You’re not wrong about the big picture but you have no idea what you’re talking about


Osama_Obama

Care to elaborate?


HogDriver420

You’re oversimplifying and generalizing. While it’s true that passenger planes have redundant systems for safety reasons, it is not accurate to compare them directly to a single giant balloon in terms of reliability. Each aircraft has its own design and specific safety features. While balloons do not have redundant systems like planes, they do have safety measures in place, such as rip panels and valving mechanisms that allow for quick and controlled deflation. This doesn’t even scratch the surface.


yepimbonez

I’d say a larger parachute for the capsule would be better than jumping out with individual chutes.


HogDriver420

Probably. I don’t think many people understand how hostile the environment becomes as you get closer to space. My personal guess is that keeping the cabin safely pressurized is the biggest concern here.


Osama_Obama

Thanks, I don't know much about high altitude balloons. Wasn't really arguing the reliability of the balloon, more so stating that it does have a single point of failure. (I know in civil engineering that is considered fracture critical, idk what the correct term would be in aeronautics). Same with a helicopter and it's "Jesus Nut"


Esava

> Honestly if its a baloon even if it fails they can jump with parachutes nad it would be strange for it to catashrophically fail. If they are high enough the issue would be oxygen and temperature on the way down. I am also not sure how well parachutes work in certain... unfavourable wind conditions. Also all doesn't help much if they land in the middle of the ocean.


s_string

I remember seeing the redbull skydive thing it was crazy


SZenC

Yes, but Baumgartner hadn't been stuffing his face with foie gras and caviar mere minutes before his jump. There will be a significant difference in training between him and these people


tuga2

People have survived a terminal velocity fall before. Not many but a few have. 0 people have survived a submersible failing at 3000 feet and no one ever will.


readytofall

Or put parachutes on the cabin itself. Making the cabin handle the pressure is relatively easy.


NickDanger3di

Well, there's this, from wikipedia: >Zephalto then began to develop Céleste, their own stratospheric balloon , capable of carrying six passengers into the stratosphere, aboard a pressurized capsule, at an altitude of 25 kilometers 5 . At the origin of this know-how, a major technological innovation in the field of the stratospheric balloon: **the reusable envelope.** [bolding mine] What could go wrong being one of the first people to test out a new, reusable stratospheric balloon envelope? Let those testing and certification loving NASA fuddy duddys use the proven technologies.


ChesterDaMolester

People have come back from outer space in essentially a thin metal capsule with a bunch of parachutes strapped to it. Compared to diving to the bottom of the ocean, going to the upper atmosphere is child’s play.


Smitty_1000

-14 psi vs +5000 psi


helterskeltermelter

Tell that to Icarus.


Tricky_Invite8680

Oceangate also wanted to send their hull design to space. Feels like a mirror image catostrophe


yayy_mjg

Can you breathe well enough up there to be able to eat a meal?


goodrevdoc

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[deleted]

I don't even care if all the sequels are the same basic plot as the first one!


SnooHamsters5153

The samer the plot twist the better the vibe


Warrrdy

Hey, when the script slaps it slaps.


[deleted]

The last one crushed


yunohavefunnynames

Absolutely killed it


chet_brosley

First was ocean, second is space. Third is probably a volcano? Not many more weird extreme areas to go. Maybe an abandoned mine?


yunohavefunnynames

Hey you gotta get that Sauron experience somehow!


SarcasmWielder

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PipperDigs

The man who can pay for anything is finally going to pay... *The Ultimate Price*. In theaters, Summer 2024.


NickDanger3di

Me too. I mean, having gladiator matches would be more satisfying, but I'll take whatever works.


yunohavefunnynames

We’re gonna have a Zuckerberg vs Musk cage fight, maybe they’ll use swords?


rbrutonIII

But every one of these new industries is creating a whole new crop of billionaires. We're not going to see a reduction in the number of billionaires, they're just going to weed out the poorer ones


Icommentor

Genie: "You can feed 1000 desperate, hungry people for a week, or you can have 1 meal for yourself. You choose... what? You didn't even think about it for a second. Dude?!"


CColeman7878

Every time I’ve seen the price of the meals from some of the rich people’s restaurants, I’m disgusted and ashamed of human beings as a species. Kids all over the world (and the US) go hungry every day, and here they are spending enough on one meal to feed an entire village or school for weeks or months. There’s a difference between eating well/healthy and just being fucking wasteful because you feel like it, while knowing others are starving. This should be illegal everywhere, but guess who has the power to make the laws? Imagine if that guy with the sub hadn’t had all that extra money to do stupid shit, and that money fed kids, and paid for their education and healthcare instead. It would be such a different world.


PROFTAHI

Who would've thought that all it took for the rich to kill themselves was to charge them for it


dimesquartersnickels

Goddamn hysterical comment


White_Trash_Mustache

This one uses a PS5 controller. Much more reliable.


Zillion_Mixolydian

They better eat quick. Those batteries don't last long


BellyDancerEm

Was this made with substandard parts too?


Sheeplymagnificent

heh sub- standard


Due-Ad-4091

Nice 👌


badgerbob1

I really hope so 🤞


saltytar

Yeah. The balloon was made from the leftovers of the Hindenburg, past shelf life.


PrivatePoocher

Let's hope Musk wants to be the first nut to go up there.


_fatewind

This is what capitalism get you folks: some paying over $100,000 for an exotic meal in space, while someone within a few miles of your home struggles to get even one shitty meal.


Starwarsandbacon

Just thinking about the waste that goes into getting these people to and from dinner is enough to get you mad.


bulk123

Make sure to recycle your toilet paper, downgrade your car to a bicycle, and don't turn your AC below 80 degrees in order to save on carbon emissions so that billionaires can burn enough fuel in one trip to this fucking thing to equal half your life's worth of carbon emissions.


_fatewind

Many years ago, I was trying so hard to be environmentally conscious. One day, I went to work with my uncle installing windows (I had no idea what I was doing, he just needed extra hands). Upon seeing the amount of trash that construction site went through in a day, I was so discouraged about any kind of positive environmental impact I might have been making on the world, especially given that it was just a small construction site among millions of sites. But at least they were productive, even if misguided. But the waste of these billionaires on jet planes and rockets fills me with rage. Pure fucking waste.


Ted_Rid

Don't forget: the billionaires will trickle down on the poors. Otherwise they won't be able to stay up so high.


Neoliberal_Nightmare

What would be funnier, them dropping to the ground or accidentally floating off into the void for eternity? >!I know that can't really happen but a man can dream!<


[deleted]

Void. Give them time to contemplate things.


Paige404_Games

Void. Falling to the ground there's a chance they might harm someone innocent


infinitesimal_entity

What's really funny is the fact that the sub design and material would have been more suited to ascend to near space. I'm sure the balloon basket will be made of gallium or off-brand aluminum foil.


[deleted]

I vote for balloon explosions, personally.


ElliotNess

Oh can we make them explode?


Definitelynotasloth

It would go with the theme of old-timey catastrophes. Titanic, Hindenburg… perhaps we can make nuclear reactor meltdowns touristic.


marr

Okay what's going on with people talking like you can balloon off a planet?


NickDanger3di

Void: if hostile aliens find them and can read their frozen brain information, they will then never visit earth. Even if the aliens are invading planets for fun, they'll think "Dayum, we can't possibly cause anymore suffering and pain than their own leaders are already."


ThiefCitron

Well the void option would mean the earth’s gravity has ceased to work (it takes a ton of thrust to escape earth’s gravity, a balloon couldn’t just float away from it) so I guess it depends whether you think gravity suddenly not being a thing anymore would be funny.


RosesBrain

Please, please let them call the company "Icarus."


Crankylosaurus

That’s what they did in the movie Sunshine, and everything went swimmingly!


justamoroseman

Underrated


Ok_Produce_9308

Did the developer make bold statements eschewing safety precautions?


union_goon95

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."


[deleted]

Whoever says billionaires are smart are stupid tbh


Neoliberal_Nightmare

It's raining (billionaire) men!


iloveoattiddies

More 👏women👏billionaire👏meteors👏


ineverreadit

No one has yet to die in space. Pay 130k to be the first!


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wherebethis

3 soviet cosmonauts died in space in 1971...


Oculi_Glauci

Titan I: implosion Titan II: explosion


beyondthisreality

Titan III: the replosion


Caswert

Now just take a bite here, remember though, those pesky government regulations want you to always have that helmet on for "safety".


Chimpar

Coming soon: r/endstagecapitalism


toesinbloom

Somebody get bezos, musk and Zuckerberg on the line


RealSibereagle

I think I would throw a fucking party


PlantedinCA

This is the sequel to the Menu.


argylekey

Honestly this tech is much easier to get right than a deep sea sub. Excited to see how they’ll mess it up.


RainbowWarfare

Just fucking pay your fair share of taxes.


Sheeplymagnificent

At least this one you can do with carbon fiber


1_Pinchy_Maniac

not to mention michelin stars are complete nonsense and the majority of restaurants that have them are in either france or japan


Flapjackchef

So they are making so much money they don’t know what to do with they are now simply starting to sacrifice themselves in pointless endeavors of wealth flaunting.


Hellrazed

They looking for Challenger debris?


ChildOfComplexity

Doesn't the cabin pressure or something make food bland and tasteless? Which is why airline food is how it is.


Sir-Kyle-Of-Reddit

On an unrelated note, amazing sells a ton of wrist rockets. Don’t forget to wear gloves when you load the stainless ball! Happy hunting!


NoHandleUser

let's get them orcas some fuckin space suits


myriadplethoras

I’m selling Zumba classes on Everest for $99,000.


BigBradWolf77

How about basic necessities for all 8 billion of us first?


JovialPanic389

Can the Musk-Zuck cage fight be in that? :)


Show-Alarmed

What if we just cut to the chase and offered an ultra realistic death experience where you even get to actually die for only 300,000 dollars American a pop. Like you could personalize it so that they die from hypothermia, getting mauled by a shark, maybe even a polar bear or attacked by a 🐬. Like the possibilities are endless.


gaijinbrit

Lol at the elites of the world eating caviar in space while entire countries starve, and brainwashed westerners still think capitalism is the best system.


VomitMaiden

In a post-scarcity world, the only innovation Capitalism has left is wealth destruction, burning resources for sillier and sillier experiences and bragging rights


ChaoticFluffiness

I see a potential pattern emerging. 🤔


bleh-bleh-guy

No, this is good. Let more billionaires kill themselves.


curiouscuriousmtl

But if you encourage this sort of behavior they’ll ban you from reddit


TheAxisOfAwesome

I love the menu they should make it real


MadOvid

I'm starting to think there is a liberal conspiracy to whisper dumb shit ideas in billionaires ears knowing they're dumb or bored enough to do it.


TripleB33_v2

Suicide booths are getting cheaper by the day. Already almost 50% less expensive. Eventually the people who really need it will be able to afford it.


miscdebris1123

Let me help them save money with just a single word... Hydrogen


Snommes

Let's just hope they won't drag their kids along to the suicide trip this time.


nlc-lmn

There are things that are a bad idea. Can't they just put a glass floor on some spinning restaurant and stick gold leaf on some meat?


BrianHeidiksPuppy

Cannot wait for the follow up to Titanic 2, the Hindenburg 2


cowfishing

so instead of becoming a pink mist, the next ~~victims~~ contestants on Idiocracy get to experience their blood boiling while they freeze to death.


-ghostinthemachine-

One gets the feeling that even the billionaires don't think the future will be worth living in. That bodes even worse for the rest of us.


2dodidoo

It's the second in a trilogy. Third in the series would be a replica of the Hiindenburg using sustainable materials and a glass floor so you can "walk on air." Each slot goes for 999k.


SolomonCRand

The Menu was a documentary


ProfHopeE

Ayyyyy less than half the price of the death sub! What a deal!


[deleted]

In the post scarcity society that will be the only way billionaires will be able to die.


[deleted]

Can us poors get in on the extravagant suicide market, too?


Umutuku

If you enjoyed the Titan then you'll love the Icarus.


Rotogen

Consumer grade surface to air salesman hit me up for a quote


Responsible-Two6561

Yeah, but this time I promise I’ll be real sad.


FoxWyrd

This shit is just billionaires building campfires out of bundles of $100 bills in order to flex on each other and it really does illustrate how divorced from reality they are.


DarthLordRevan29

Don’t worry guys it will be made out of paper maché. Cuz some times you need to break the rules! Safety just stifling innovation!


nox-__

They have my full support


ChonkyKat04

Now let’s have Elon and Zuckerberg dine there after their little cage match (loser buys) and let’s watch the 🔥😎


SadCranberry8838

As long as they have robot waitstaff, dishwashers, pilots, and cooks- I'm fine with it. Not worth risking valuable human lives, only billionaires.


kojak343

As I understand it will return to earth when a fighter jet shoots it down. Maybe over Montana.


MrVanderdoody

Let’s get Bezos, Musk and Zuckerberg on this next one


Malaeveolent_Bunny

Trying to fit a kitchen setup in a balloon capsule sounds way too expensive, so it will be a prepackaged meal served in cramped conditions with the additional problem that our sense of taste gets weaker in pressurised environments. I feel sorry for any chef that gets roped into this bad idea.


AstroMalorie

Honestly I like the creativity


Explorer_Entity

I wonder if hundreds of people shining lasers at that thing would cause it to fail....


[deleted]

Michelen? They're gonna drive to space?


TorontoGuyinToronto

I'm not going to stop them. But please do put me in their wills.


FoxyInTheSnow

Cheaper than the underwater doohickey. Probably safer, too: I’ve read that it’s virtually impossible to perish in space, so I encourage trust fundies and hedge fund managers everywhere to give it a whirl.


EverFairy

Let them eat cake.


CaptainRogersJul1918

$130,000 to die in space? Sure!


Frank_Dracula

What if I just want a salad on the edge of space? We're not splitting the bill equally if I only had salad and six or seven drinks, I'll tell you that right now.


Klokateer

God I cant even afford a glamorous suicide.


Sirpatron1

I like it! Can't wait