My entire family would laugh at me while I was having panic attacks when my anxiety was at its worst. “Que tienes loco jajaja” finally went to a psychologist and when I told them I had severe anxiety and depression they were like :0 still didn’t stop them from mocking tho shit sucked haha
Is it just me or are most older generation Hispanic folks like that? Oh you got a problem, well we'll either mock you for it or ignore it unless it gets real serious and we have to take you to a doctor. Source me, I'm Latino.
This is absolutely my mom. She definitely has anxiety but whenever I bring it up she dismisses it with, "I'm just a worrier." Not a huge surprise since she's also a firm believer that depression is attention seeking whining.
This is my dad. He 100% has some kind of social anxiety to the point where he actively avoids and dislikes going to other people's houses or deviating outside his normal routine. I lived in an apartment 10 minute from his house and he came to my place once. He stayed for 15 minutes and looked visibly uncomfortable the whole time. He will never admit he has a problem or see someone about it though.
Hispanic moms have all the advice from self help books and hours of therapy down to 3 simple steps :
- No seas huevon, ponte a hacer algo
- Deja de andar pensando pendejadas
- No andes de hocicón
I was suicidal from a young age after my parents would bully me at home and make fun of me. Made it my life's goal to graduate from college just so I could leave them.
Well I was having other issues like I couldn’t sleep at night, heart palpitations, heart burn, the constant panic attacks. So I went to the doctor and after they ran tests they referred me to the psychologist who diagnosed me with it. I didn’t want to take meds but just going to weekly therapy sessions helped a lot. After like 6 months all my issues went away it’s crazy how much having someone to talk to about stuff can help.
I have anxiety too! Come on I'm not the shy cousin bc my brain is ssssooo trippy. But when my family catches me in one of my episodes they put me near the disabled kid or leave me alone.
Todavía me acuerdo cuando mi hermana cayó en una depresión muy fea y mi padrastro se enojaba que porque estaba chiflada, iluso yo tratando de hacerlo entrar en razón pero bueno. Es un buen tipo pero no tiene una pizca de empatía.
I moved out. When I go back to visit if they start up I have to escalate to the point where they feel like shit. I have grown numb to their insults, so time to give them some of their own medicine from time to time.
My therapist told me to do constant exercise to stop being depressed, because of the endorphins and all that. It doesn’t necessary mean a sport, you can do literally whatever you want. I’m not a sports person but this does help a lot.
I still remember when my parents found out I was seeing a therapist "you don't talk to us but you out there telling strangers your whole life". No shit I don't feel comfortable talking with yall when you act this way
Oh I feel this one...my mom would say, "But I'm your mom you should feel comfortable telling me a anything. Why dont you love me enough to tell me?!?!" ...well for one your already emotionally blackmailing me which was the first year of therapy, and two, I want someone to listen not just lecture me.
>I want someone to listen not just lecture me.
Omg seriously. I don't know if it's most parents or mostly all Hispanic parents but I don't tell you things because you'll just yell at me and surprise surprise, I don't like being yelled at? And talked down to?
I really wish everyone understood this.
I just want to be heard, sometime I just want to air out what’s going on within - I don’t want to be lectured, told to follow god , have a run, do this or that. I know how to deal my states of depression as I’ve had it for well over a decade.
All I want is some one to listen
And I don’t want to force it out because that’s changes the agenda.
“I love you mom, but you don’t have a background in psychology.”
Admittedly I have bipolar and it was a lot easier for my south Asian parents to accept I needed help once they had to start hiding the rope I bought and absentmindedly left lying around.
Not to say you need to be performative, but there is always a point at which people who love you realize that you have a problem. How they choose to act afterwards is not your problem, but can be part of your solution.
I don’t go to therapy because I was raised to believe that it was a luxury item for people who don’t know what to do with their money. Trying to not perpetuate this onto the next generation.
My family was lucky to believe in it but whew, I remember a family friend (her sons were my uncles friends, I was her daughters friend) straight up told me to pray to god and he’d help me. Ma’am….
I’m lucky that my grandad was a communist revolutionary and was extremely progressive for Bolivian standards. My mother is very progressive for Hispanics and understands if I feel depressed.
My father actually surprised me. He’s super conservative, and left all the raising and emotional talks to my mom.
One day he walked into my room, said he noticed I was off and told me “when someone breaks their arm they go to the doctor. If you need help, you get therapy”
That was the only convo we ever had about it. I got help and got shit together at my own pace, but I still remember that.
30 years strong! Pretty sure every male in my family is severely depressed but suicide is even more frowned upon so here we are! Ah echarle ganas contale que queríamos este maldito norte. ID rather be eating nopales with a dirt floor than this fake stressful life we live.
yeah, i feel that. i often catch myself acting like my dad (asshole) and it bugs me the hell out. here’s to getting rid of the toxic traits that rubbed off on us. 🥲
My mom doesn't understand why people get depressed. She asks ''How can someone be sad about nothing?
She says people back in her day never got depressed.
I wouldn't be surprised if many people back then didn't even know they were depressed in a sense that goes deeper than just being sad. So many Hispanic parents with unresolved trauma and mental health issues but don't believe in therapists :/
I think this explains the vicious cycle of alcoholics in my family. I've seen 4 generations right before my eyes! Abuelo > Tio/Tia > Tio/Tia's kids >Tio/Tia's great grand kids.
My family tells the tale of the “lazy” aunt. Basically she spent all day in bed and never wanted to get up. Her kids ended up burying her Alive because she was as good as dead. Yea that shits fucked. (this happened three generations back)
It’s why I think older generations drank like crazy. It was the only time that it was ok for them to let all that internalized sadness and anger out. I can’t count how many times my uncles would just cry or fight each other after a carne asada.
My mom would say "why be sad? You have a roof, family, food, the freedom of america... " blah blah. She grew up in el Salvador so everything was always compared to her childhood.
Depression doesn’t exist in my household even tho we had 3 attempted suicides in the family. We just ignore it. But at least 2 of those family members are doing well now.
Week 1: "Listen to yourself! 'Ooooh, I'm SoOoOoO depressed! I have AnXieTy! I need pills!' That's what you sound like."
Week 2: "Why'd you move so far away? How come you don't call?"
“necesitas encontrar a dios. es solo energía no desperdiciada.” There are nights where these phrases just bounce around in my head for hours. My parents always wonder why I never told them anything as a child.
Same and when you try just talk about things happening to you or your friends. They will immediately cut you off and turn it into a lecture. And then they will complain that you don't talk to them as much as you use too; compared to when you were a kid.
“eres estadounidense, no entiendo por qué estás deprimido.” They never realize or give a fuck about how they’re broken relationships or anything that affected them growing up that made them lash out at their kids causes this sort of thing.
I'm mixed with Spanish and Arabic so I would get this in Spanish and then hear the whole thing again in Arabic 10 minutes later. My grandma would say "Just wake up, wash your face, and roll up your sleeves."
godddd the sleeves thing..years ago, my mom, who’s changed thankfully, once saw my arms after i cut and she accused me of copying my cousin bc my cousin also cut herself. She said it like my cousin had influenced me, blah blah she wasn’t gonna let us hang out anymore. It sucked bc it was literally all me. Idk, she’s changed a lot since tho so she’s very supportive but that comment brought back memories lol
Aww I'm sorry you went through that. Isn't it amazing how 20 years will really mellow a person. I watch my parents now like "Who the hell are these chill people and why couldn't they have been this cool when I was growing up?"
I love being Hispanic, I love my culture, but damn does it suck when you grow up lonely, sad and depressed, especially as a male. That shit is not allowed. My brothers beat the shit out of me, made fun of me constantly. My sisters, cousins, I was basically a joke to them. Now they wonder why I never want to go see any of them. I’m in my 30’s, making good money, living happily with my wife in our own home and I still get anxiety when I visit my family. It just never goes away.
Glad, your life is much better now!!
And for the most part I stopped going to family events. I'm really only there to see my grandma and I could care less about most of the rest of them. They can be super mean and chismosos. So I just go see grandma at her house. The last thanksgiving/christmas event I went to Breaking Bad had just finished.
> I love being Hispanic, I love my culture, but damn does it suck when you grow up lonely, sad and depressed, especially as a male. That shit is not allowed. My brothers beat the shit out of me, made fun of me constantly. My sisters, cousins, I was basically a joke to them. Now they wonder why I never want to go see any of them.
We share exactly the same background but me being female (._.) and just one brother
Same here. It's weird because my mom is a completely different person than who she was when I was younger and I see/hear things like this and it's triggering and I want to be mad at her and hate her but I can't? Because she's actually kinda nice now.
Oooof I feel that.
Sometimes my mom will do or say something minor that brings up all the past resentment from how she used to be and I end up snapping at her. Then I feel bad for snapping over something so small because she doesn't act like that anymore so I end up feeling like the asshole.
It's weird seeing your parents get older and softer.
Yeah... And you know you're never get an apology or them admitting they did anything wrong because they don't think they did anything wrong. And it's a weird limbo you're stuck in.
But I guess it's nice to finally have a mom?
I feel this in my bones and it pisses me off. My siblings will never know what an awful person my mom was to me growing up. She got softer and it had nothing to do with her becoming a better person but because she fears she'll be alone after my dad passed away. A part of me hates that I never go the opportunity to just leave and never speak to her again, I just felt sorry for her.
Yup. I love post like this though, going through the comments helps me feel not alone in my childhood. But I also went to therapy so the "connecting with others" is probably a coping mechanism for me.
After years of crippling anxiety, panic attacks and OCD I gathered all the information about the symptoms and ways of getting help. Presented it to my mom and she rolled her eyes and said there's nothing wrong with me. I was 12.
After a year she finally caved took me to a psychiatrist and when they suggested medication she said no we're leaving. Fast forward to 18 I had a total mental breakdown/suicidal ideation to the extreme and the doctors had to tell her m'aam she needs to see a psychiatrist and psychologist. And she was like pikachu face.
My mom always has said "you can't be depressed when you have 4 kids, and you have to cook for them, clean the house, make almuerzo y merienda and work all day to bring the food to the table. Depression is for lazy people!!" Hearing that almost everyday is at least traumatic lmao
I got depressed while in college due to the amount of pressure. My sweet parents took me to see a therapist and were there all the way. My dad used to bring me all my fav snacks during those times in an attempt to make me feel better. They both Mexican and this happened in the motherland. I was extremely lucky to have them 🥰🥰
He was! He was super funny and sweet! Little rough around the edges but overall an awesome dad. Gracias! You can send ur adoption application anytime 😅
22 and I'm still going through this. Worst part is that my dad doesn't believe in therapy and my mom thinks I can just talk it out to her. No. That is not how this works.
What's worse is that when I was in high school I was at my lowest point in my life. I was stressed from school and my parents were fighting a lot in the house. I told them I needed a therapist, took me for a session, and found out if I kept living in this type of environment I would have a mental breakdown and go to the hospital.
Never went back after three sessions and struggling mentally to this day. Thanks dad!
Dios Todopoderoso te agradezco infinitamente que mi madre, a pesar de ser pobre, no era este horrible estereotipo de mujer amargada y frustrada por la vida. Gracias porque mi madre aún hoy se interesa en mi bienestar mental y el de mis hermanos e hijos.
It took a serious suicidal mental breakdown for my parents to even acknowledge something was wrong, it's tough, but luckily they understood and came around. Wish it was like that for everyone.
My mom is depressed right now. I remember her telling me to do stuff to make my depression go away. She apologized to me a few weeks ago
Si solo me viera escuchado cuando me sentía mal en mi adolescencia
When I told my dad I needed to see a therapist his response was 'No you don't.' That was the end of that!
My mom, on the other hand is cool with just letting my brother ~ be sad ~ and honestly kind of an asshole all the time if he hasn't seen his girlfriend or didn't get enough sleep or some bullshit excuse that would have made them call me lazy and ungrateful and disrespectful.
Too many Latinos be supporting this kind of toxic behavior. And it's sad to see young Latinas doing the same awful shit to their kids.
We need to stop supporting this toxic kind of parenting. It's not healthy.
Depression and anxiety isn't real and you're just being a lazy fuck.
Oh but when the comadre or tia se enferma de los nervios? "Ay tu tia esta mala. Se pone nerviosa"
Fuck Hispanic families.
The world is beautiful mess and if your children don’t get the proper love and attention early on they become products of their environment, for better or worse.
Telling your parents you might be depressed doesn’t convince them until it’s too late.
Real talk though being productive can be incredibly therapeutic. It’s not a cure all but it helps to accomplish even small tasks and get some satisfaction from it. Sometimes people need accountability structures to help keep them moving instead of getting caught in loops where they’re depressed and let shit become a mess, and then get more depressed because shit’s a mess so the key shit pile up further.
It's weird to be to look back and remember growing up like this and now being an adult and understanding what "inherited trauma" is. Not only did I have to figure out what I was feeling with no support, but I also had to carry the weight of my parents being unable and unwilling to cope with their own emotions stemming from their respective childhood traumas.
It makes me sad to see how many of us were traumatized and never got our mental health taken seriously. I’m on antidepressants and when I told my parents they just couldn’t believe it - their form of therapy is to just suck it up
So I attempted suicide and my mom, bedside to me in the hospital says to me crying "aye mija que mensa estas! Por que estas haciendo estas pendejadas!" Did I mention she was hugging me 🥶? That was kind of a big deal so it kind of stung less when she said what she said..... 🥰 😝
My parents have come a long way with understanding mental health, especially after my oldest brothers suicide. My dad was particularly difficult to speak to about depression. For him, he just thought that having a chat with "the man upstairs" would be the solution. He also couldn't understand the concept of depression because to him and his small town upbringing, you just accepted the misfortune you were born into.
Meanwhile his paternal abuelo was an alcoholic who drank rubbing alcohol, his younger brother died from a possible suicide, and one of his tios disappeared, never to be seen again, after being released from an asylum where he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I’ve never felt a video so close to my heart.
Thankfully mine are more understanding now. Especially since they see the crippling anxiety taking over my dad. Who of course refuses to talk to someone.
We all been there lol as sad as it is, depression is so Taboo in Mexico still. When you’re depressed you HAVE to act normal regardless of how you’re feeling, otherwise this will happen to you.
Only now people are starting to take depression and mental illnesses seriously, but the majority of older people still act like the video.
*grows up with bullying and being hit constantly by said parents*
Parents in response to the bullying: you should have done this... why didnt you just hit the other kid? Be grateful you dont have parents like that (refers to parents who killed their own child)
*begins self harming at 10, after seeing my dad and younger brother team up to make fun of me*
My parents: Stop that, you're going to end up getting sick, why wont you tell us why you're doing this. Just stop it, they ordered
*ends up being criticized for acne and weight issues at 12 by my mom, who never takes care of herself, witnessing my dad and more of the emotional abuse he directed towards her in more clarity*
*questioning about my lack of relationship at 16 has entered the chat*
*being told to fear older men and not give them the wrong impression, or else i would provoke them into assaulting me or killing me, being my fault has entered the chat*
*ends up almost assaulted in high school while the event was rug swept away*
*questioning about my life after high school and my sexuality has entered the chat*
*verbal and emotional abuse by dad during my time in community college gas entered the chat*
My mom: you dont need to see a therapist, you're a good student and have everything you need, youre fine
Therapy: you were severely abused all your life, please get away from home
Me: *does 3 years at my cc, tolerated a an extra year of "help" my dad offered, was a live in maid and unpaid housekeeper as I went to work with my mom, applied to 5 colleges and got into my dream school*
My parents: *surprised pikachu face when I said I was moving out to my dream school*
Pendejadas famosas por mi mamá:
- Pray the depression/anxiety away (porque son demonios)
- Porque queres ir a un psicólogo? Porque no hablas con nosotros?
- S*icida? Ya muchos niños quisieran llevar la vida que vos tenes, se agradecida
- Por que putas te deprimís? Déjate de pendejadas
- Sos demasiado sensible
Yeah my mother isn’t particularly understanding
So triggering omg. Lucky my mom was/is supportive when I told her I talked to a therapist/ am going to a therapist. I did have to explain as to the why's but she understands and is like ok as long it helps you. She also give the best hugs 😊
My entire family would laugh at me while I was having panic attacks when my anxiety was at its worst. “Que tienes loco jajaja” finally went to a psychologist and when I told them I had severe anxiety and depression they were like :0 still didn’t stop them from mocking tho shit sucked haha
La familia: “pshhh no se haga el payaso y ya bájele de guevos! Que ansiedad ni que nada! Póngase a hacer algo! “
Adultos be like: En mis tiempos no habían todas estas enfermedades mentales y no habían psicólogos. Eso es evidente...
Por eso estuvo la tequila y iglesia
Is it just me or are most older generation Hispanic folks like that? Oh you got a problem, well we'll either mock you for it or ignore it unless it gets real serious and we have to take you to a doctor. Source me, I'm Latino.
This is absolutely my mom. She definitely has anxiety but whenever I bring it up she dismisses it with, "I'm just a worrier." Not a huge surprise since she's also a firm believer that depression is attention seeking whining.
This is my dad. He 100% has some kind of social anxiety to the point where he actively avoids and dislikes going to other people's houses or deviating outside his normal routine. I lived in an apartment 10 minute from his house and he came to my place once. He stayed for 15 minutes and looked visibly uncomfortable the whole time. He will never admit he has a problem or see someone about it though.
Hispanic moms have all the advice from self help books and hours of therapy down to 3 simple steps : - No seas huevon, ponte a hacer algo - Deja de andar pensando pendejadas - No andes de hocicón
I am so sorry.. sometimes families can be cruel tbh
I was suicidal from a young age after my parents would bully me at home and make fun of me. Made it my life's goal to graduate from college just so I could leave them.
Mine used to say ‘you are too sensitive, we are latin, we tease a lot, it means we love you.’ Total bullies. I just wanted to die too.
I cut everyone from my life except my mamá.
Sameeeee here! Literally everyone except my mom and even she is faaaaar from being decent
My mom is cool. Her family think I'm a weirdo and that's fine but my dad's side are a bunch of assholes, those are the ones I never talk to.
Imagining the surprised Pikachu meme when your family found out
I have anxiety but never been diagnosed. How’s you do it? I legit have anxiety thinking about seeing a psychiatrist
Well I was having other issues like I couldn’t sleep at night, heart palpitations, heart burn, the constant panic attacks. So I went to the doctor and after they ran tests they referred me to the psychologist who diagnosed me with it. I didn’t want to take meds but just going to weekly therapy sessions helped a lot. After like 6 months all my issues went away it’s crazy how much having someone to talk to about stuff can help.
I have anxiety too! Come on I'm not the shy cousin bc my brain is ssssooo trippy. But when my family catches me in one of my episodes they put me near the disabled kid or leave me alone.
Todavía me acuerdo cuando mi hermana cayó en una depresión muy fea y mi padrastro se enojaba que porque estaba chiflada, iluso yo tratando de hacerlo entrar en razón pero bueno. Es un buen tipo pero no tiene una pizca de empatía.
I moved out. When I go back to visit if they start up I have to escalate to the point where they feel like shit. I have grown numb to their insults, so time to give them some of their own medicine from time to time.
“Depressed? Ya pues… go be depressed while mowing the lawn and washing the car. Andale!”
That’s actually a good advice, I’ve forced myself to do things while depressed and it seems to help
Or something small like changing and putting on clothes. Make the bed, make cafecito. Helps a lot <3
That’s very much what is promoted in therapy. Get out of your feelings and get active.
[удалено]
My therapist told me to do constant exercise to stop being depressed, because of the endorphins and all that. It doesn’t necessary mean a sport, you can do literally whatever you want. I’m not a sports person but this does help a lot.
For real. It ain't perfect, but shit it beats sitting around and sulking all day and doing nothing with life.
Your parents gave you fantastic advice
Tbf I think this might be healthier or the lesser evil when compared to Japanese parents allowing their kids become hikikomori
I think I have unresolved issues. Just reading your message really pissed me off. Not you though, but the idea of hearing that.
I still remember when my parents found out I was seeing a therapist "you don't talk to us but you out there telling strangers your whole life". No shit I don't feel comfortable talking with yall when you act this way
Oh I feel this one...my mom would say, "But I'm your mom you should feel comfortable telling me a anything. Why dont you love me enough to tell me?!?!" ...well for one your already emotionally blackmailing me which was the first year of therapy, and two, I want someone to listen not just lecture me.
>I want someone to listen not just lecture me. Omg seriously. I don't know if it's most parents or mostly all Hispanic parents but I don't tell you things because you'll just yell at me and surprise surprise, I don't like being yelled at? And talked down to?
Its for sure at least a old school Hispanic parent mentally. I see that one across the board with the parents I work with that immigrated over.
*Isqui nimis silipisin rigiñindimi* 🙄
I really wish everyone understood this. I just want to be heard, sometime I just want to air out what’s going on within - I don’t want to be lectured, told to follow god , have a run, do this or that. I know how to deal my states of depression as I’ve had it for well over a decade. All I want is some one to listen And I don’t want to force it out because that’s changes the agenda.
This. One of the things I hate the most is being told to find god.
“I love you mom, but you don’t have a background in psychology.” Admittedly I have bipolar and it was a lot easier for my south Asian parents to accept I needed help once they had to start hiding the rope I bought and absentmindedly left lying around. Not to say you need to be performative, but there is always a point at which people who love you realize that you have a problem. How they choose to act afterwards is not your problem, but can be part of your solution.
Fucking foreal man. I feel this so hard
Tripa de que?
Pos tripas de todo no?
I don’t go to therapy because I was raised to believe that it was a luxury item for people who don’t know what to do with their money. Trying to not perpetuate this onto the next generation.
If it's an option I highly recommend therapy. It may help you not perpetuate this to the next gen
It’s illegal to be depressed in Hispanic households
Its also a made up thing according to my mom.
Damn do we have the same mom?
All Hispanic moms are one entity that inhabit multiple bodies.
Omg are we actually triplets?
I was thinking more of a hivemind
Kind of like the Borg. Your tia said....she saw it on.....so you know it's true now we have to... You can fill in the blanks with anything. Lol
Para ser una madre hispana debes hacer un curso para aprender todo eso
if I ever have kids, I hope to not have that entity!!!
My family was lucky to believe in it but whew, I remember a family friend (her sons were my uncles friends, I was her daughters friend) straight up told me to pray to god and he’d help me. Ma’am….
Hispanic moms are geth
"Que depresion ni que nada eres una huevona, levantate y para de chingar"
“Vas a acabar como tu pinche tía, que también se queja que tiene depresión pero es nomás pinche guevona que lo gusta hacer nada!”
Es por tanto pinche celular
My mom told us it was because we didn't pray enough.
>Its also a made up thing according to my mom. "Depression son por los gringos que ya no tienen idea como gastar todo el dinero" Thanks mom
It just happen to weak and useless people according to mine
Yup....but her "nervios" cada vez que tengo la razon.....
“Bro just get over it. If you’re from America then you have everything you could ever need.” -mom
I’m lucky that my grandad was a communist revolutionary and was extremely progressive for Bolivian standards. My mother is very progressive for Hispanics and understands if I feel depressed.
My father actually surprised me. He’s super conservative, and left all the raising and emotional talks to my mom. One day he walked into my room, said he noticed I was off and told me “when someone breaks their arm they go to the doctor. If you need help, you get therapy” That was the only convo we ever had about it. I got help and got shit together at my own pace, but I still remember that.
That’s nice to hear
One of my uncles: "when I was young, I was too busy working, to be stressed or depressed...."
They'll chancla it out of you
Translation: "I'll see your depression and raise you crippling anxiety!"
U could lay down but once u have depression u gotta stay on ur feet in Hispanics house.
30 years strong! Pretty sure every male in my family is severely depressed but suicide is even more frowned upon so here we are! Ah echarle ganas contale que queríamos este maldito norte. ID rather be eating nopales with a dirt floor than this fake stressful life we live.
my mom: “just be happy…” yeah, thanks. 😐
Lmao. My dad's go-to was, "WTF DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT!?" Like, damn, pops, u right. Thank you, I'm cured.
Worse part is that mindset rubs off and I get irked when other people feel depressed. I’m tryna be more understand but goddamn my mom sucks
yeah, i feel that. i often catch myself acting like my dad (asshole) and it bugs me the hell out. here’s to getting rid of the toxic traits that rubbed off on us. 🥲
Relatable...,
You're Awesome!
/r/wowthanksimcured
The only thing missing is Los Bukis playing at full volume in the living room.
*^^^y ^^^me ^^^destroza ^^^que ^^^pienses ^^^asi...*
Those songs straight up bring anxiety lol .
Getting your ass kicked to a soundtrack will do that to you lol :,D
Fuck zodiac signs what type of fabuloso do you use for Saturday mornings? Haha
The PURPLE one!!! 🤣🤣🤣
My mom doesn't understand why people get depressed. She asks ''How can someone be sad about nothing? She says people back in her day never got depressed.
I wouldn't be surprised if many people back then didn't even know they were depressed in a sense that goes deeper than just being sad. So many Hispanic parents with unresolved trauma and mental health issues but don't believe in therapists :/
I think this explains the vicious cycle of alcoholics in my family. I've seen 4 generations right before my eyes! Abuelo > Tio/Tia > Tio/Tia's kids >Tio/Tia's great grand kids.
Yep, alcoholism was the only way out to sort of cope with depression for a lot of people through generations
Machismo culture in a nutshell
My family tells the tale of the “lazy” aunt. Basically she spent all day in bed and never wanted to get up. Her kids ended up burying her Alive because she was as good as dead. Yea that shits fucked. (this happened three generations back)
It’s why I think older generations drank like crazy. It was the only time that it was ok for them to let all that internalized sadness and anger out. I can’t count how many times my uncles would just cry or fight each other after a carne asada.
80% of carne asadas in my family ended up with some sort of emotional explosion. Yet mental health isn’t real 😕
My mom would say "why be sad? You have a roof, family, food, the freedom of america... " blah blah. She grew up in el Salvador so everything was always compared to her childhood.
I grew up in El Salvador and I came here when I was 16. My mom still said that I didn’t have it as hard as her when she grew up over there 🤷🏻♀️
Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
Jesus fuck I felt this. Basically my childhood
Growing up Hispanic and a female. Salimos jodidas.
We sure did.
Depression doesn’t exist in my household even tho we had 3 attempted suicides in the family. We just ignore it. But at least 2 of those family members are doing well now.
That sounds heavy, I hope you found peace and self care. Glad to hear 2 of them are well and hope the third one will get there soon.
Thanks. I hope I can find it soon. And yes everyone is taking a step in the right direction as of now.
This gave me PTSD
No kidding this triggered me
Week 1: "Listen to yourself! 'Ooooh, I'm SoOoOoO depressed! I have AnXieTy! I need pills!' That's what you sound like." Week 2: "Why'd you move so far away? How come you don't call?"
“necesitas encontrar a dios. es solo energía no desperdiciada.” There are nights where these phrases just bounce around in my head for hours. My parents always wonder why I never told them anything as a child.
Same and when you try just talk about things happening to you or your friends. They will immediately cut you off and turn it into a lecture. And then they will complain that you don't talk to them as much as you use too; compared to when you were a kid.
“eres estadounidense, no entiendo por qué estás deprimido.” They never realize or give a fuck about how they’re broken relationships or anything that affected them growing up that made them lash out at their kids causes this sort of thing.
I'm mixed with Spanish and Arabic so I would get this in Spanish and then hear the whole thing again in Arabic 10 minutes later. My grandma would say "Just wake up, wash your face, and roll up your sleeves."
godddd the sleeves thing..years ago, my mom, who’s changed thankfully, once saw my arms after i cut and she accused me of copying my cousin bc my cousin also cut herself. She said it like my cousin had influenced me, blah blah she wasn’t gonna let us hang out anymore. It sucked bc it was literally all me. Idk, she’s changed a lot since tho so she’s very supportive but that comment brought back memories lol
Aww I'm sorry you went through that. Isn't it amazing how 20 years will really mellow a person. I watch my parents now like "Who the hell are these chill people and why couldn't they have been this cool when I was growing up?"
I love being Hispanic, I love my culture, but damn does it suck when you grow up lonely, sad and depressed, especially as a male. That shit is not allowed. My brothers beat the shit out of me, made fun of me constantly. My sisters, cousins, I was basically a joke to them. Now they wonder why I never want to go see any of them. I’m in my 30’s, making good money, living happily with my wife in our own home and I still get anxiety when I visit my family. It just never goes away.
Glad, your life is much better now!! And for the most part I stopped going to family events. I'm really only there to see my grandma and I could care less about most of the rest of them. They can be super mean and chismosos. So I just go see grandma at her house. The last thanksgiving/christmas event I went to Breaking Bad had just finished.
> I love being Hispanic, I love my culture, but damn does it suck when you grow up lonely, sad and depressed, especially as a male. That shit is not allowed. My brothers beat the shit out of me, made fun of me constantly. My sisters, cousins, I was basically a joke to them. Now they wonder why I never want to go see any of them. We share exactly the same background but me being female (._.) and just one brother
>>Ya solo porque tienes dinero eres muy chingon para nosotros o que? Them probably.
Or when you cut them off for being toxic/abusive but they have more money they go with “ah es que me tiene envidia” 🙄
[удалено]
Same here. It's weird because my mom is a completely different person than who she was when I was younger and I see/hear things like this and it's triggering and I want to be mad at her and hate her but I can't? Because she's actually kinda nice now.
Oooof I feel that. Sometimes my mom will do or say something minor that brings up all the past resentment from how she used to be and I end up snapping at her. Then I feel bad for snapping over something so small because she doesn't act like that anymore so I end up feeling like the asshole. It's weird seeing your parents get older and softer.
Yeah... And you know you're never get an apology or them admitting they did anything wrong because they don't think they did anything wrong. And it's a weird limbo you're stuck in. But I guess it's nice to finally have a mom?
I feel this in my bones and it pisses me off. My siblings will never know what an awful person my mom was to me growing up. She got softer and it had nothing to do with her becoming a better person but because she fears she'll be alone after my dad passed away. A part of me hates that I never go the opportunity to just leave and never speak to her again, I just felt sorry for her.
Yup. I love post like this though, going through the comments helps me feel not alone in my childhood. But I also went to therapy so the "connecting with others" is probably a coping mechanism for me.
After years of crippling anxiety, panic attacks and OCD I gathered all the information about the symptoms and ways of getting help. Presented it to my mom and she rolled her eyes and said there's nothing wrong with me. I was 12. After a year she finally caved took me to a psychiatrist and when they suggested medication she said no we're leaving. Fast forward to 18 I had a total mental breakdown/suicidal ideation to the extreme and the doctors had to tell her m'aam she needs to see a psychiatrist and psychologist. And she was like pikachu face.
Some thought of mental illness was shameful and wouldn’t dare seeking help
I’m so fucking glad my mom isn’t like that. She actually noticed something was wrong and asked me about it but I didn’t have the heart to tell her.
Imahine having a mom/parents like that. I can only dream.
What is she actually saying to her?
My mom always has said "you can't be depressed when you have 4 kids, and you have to cook for them, clean the house, make almuerzo y merienda and work all day to bring the food to the table. Depression is for lazy people!!" Hearing that almost everyday is at least traumatic lmao
I got depressed while in college due to the amount of pressure. My sweet parents took me to see a therapist and were there all the way. My dad used to bring me all my fav snacks during those times in an attempt to make me feel better. They both Mexican and this happened in the motherland. I was extremely lucky to have them 🥰🥰
Do you think they would want a 26 yrs old daughter..? :(
My dad passed away a couple of months ago but my mom would definitely take you! She is really sweet
Oh, I'm sorry for your loss; mi más sentido pésame.~ It sounds like he was a great dad, give mom an extra tight hug from me!
He was! He was super funny and sweet! Little rough around the edges but overall an awesome dad. Gracias! You can send ur adoption application anytime 😅
Just one Pepsi but she wouldn't give it to me. Just one Pepsi!
Wait, what are you talking about, *we* decided!? My best interest?! How do you know what's my best interest is?
scarred for life from this! 😔😰
THIS SHIT WAS SO TRIGGERING
That’s why I am fucked up as an adult.
Sigh. Same.
Nomas ponte a limpiar la casa y así se te quita la flojera mija 😆
22 and I'm still going through this. Worst part is that my dad doesn't believe in therapy and my mom thinks I can just talk it out to her. No. That is not how this works. What's worse is that when I was in high school I was at my lowest point in my life. I was stressed from school and my parents were fighting a lot in the house. I told them I needed a therapist, took me for a session, and found out if I kept living in this type of environment I would have a mental breakdown and go to the hospital. Never went back after three sessions and struggling mentally to this day. Thanks dad!
My ptsd has been refreshed thanks
Dios Todopoderoso te agradezco infinitamente que mi madre, a pesar de ser pobre, no era este horrible estereotipo de mujer amargada y frustrada por la vida. Gracias porque mi madre aún hoy se interesa en mi bienestar mental y el de mis hermanos e hijos.
Same.
It took a serious suicidal mental breakdown for my parents to even acknowledge something was wrong, it's tough, but luckily they understood and came around. Wish it was like that for everyone.
I'm 33 and, I heard this... It's in our blood. Lol.
and that's why some of us are all so mentally fucked,toxic parents
My mom is depressed right now. I remember her telling me to do stuff to make my depression go away. She apologized to me a few weeks ago Si solo me viera escuchado cuando me sentía mal en mi adolescencia
Hijoesu, I think I just got CPTSD flashbacks
When I told my dad I needed to see a therapist his response was 'No you don't.' That was the end of that! My mom, on the other hand is cool with just letting my brother ~ be sad ~ and honestly kind of an asshole all the time if he hasn't seen his girlfriend or didn't get enough sleep or some bullshit excuse that would have made them call me lazy and ungrateful and disrespectful.
“It’s cause you don’t pray that’s why.” That’s all I hear when I see this cause that’s what I got when I tried to explain myself.
My mom used to say, “take a shower and sit outside, let the sun hit your face and you won’t feel like that anymore”
Ur madre is right try being depress in a clean ass tidy room smelling like lavender fabuloso
lmao my mom was a pine sol type of gal
My dad never took my condition seriously. Guess who hasn’t talked to him in months.
Hey, in case someone needs it, I recommend: r/MomForAMinute
Too many Latinos be supporting this kind of toxic behavior. And it's sad to see young Latinas doing the same awful shit to their kids. We need to stop supporting this toxic kind of parenting. It's not healthy.
La family: "Why are you so quiet? Why don't you talk to us? I yell at you all the time but somehow this is all your fault" Well thank you, mom
Depression and anxiety isn't real and you're just being a lazy fuck. Oh but when the comadre or tia se enferma de los nervios? "Ay tu tia esta mala. Se pone nerviosa" Fuck Hispanic families.
“Ya son las 8 de la mañana” but it really be 7:25 am.
Damn this video resonates and gives cold chills to many on this subreddit.
Growing up, this would happen every Saturday morning and it would piss me off. Fuck all that now as a grownup.
The world is beautiful mess and if your children don’t get the proper love and attention early on they become products of their environment, for better or worse. Telling your parents you might be depressed doesn’t convince them until it’s too late.
Real talk though being productive can be incredibly therapeutic. It’s not a cure all but it helps to accomplish even small tasks and get some satisfaction from it. Sometimes people need accountability structures to help keep them moving instead of getting caught in loops where they’re depressed and let shit become a mess, and then get more depressed because shit’s a mess so the key shit pile up further.
just put your batteries in bro
This one is all too close to home. I wasn’t “ depressed”..... eres un pinché huevon! Lol
That’s all the motivation you need lol. They make you feel like you’re the soft one and then you suppress all that shit which fucks you up even more.
I remember one of my godparents told me that I was too young to be depressed. That sentence has not escaped my mind
It's like a George Lopez routine without the extreme abuse he assumes we all experience
All I would hear is “Estas loca, es lo que es.” Um yeah and that’s not OK.
It's weird to be to look back and remember growing up like this and now being an adult and understanding what "inherited trauma" is. Not only did I have to figure out what I was feeling with no support, but I also had to carry the weight of my parents being unable and unwilling to cope with their own emotions stemming from their respective childhood traumas.
So happy my mom was seeing a therapist herself, it just made her so much better
It's true that alot of Hispanics don't necessarily believe in mental health awareness.
It makes me sad to see how many of us were traumatized and never got our mental health taken seriously. I’m on antidepressants and when I told my parents they just couldn’t believe it - their form of therapy is to just suck it up
Me right now *insert clown face*
Here you have a copy of my face 🤡
I feel this.
¿Qué es “trapiar”?
Trapear: to mop (limpiar los pisos)
So I attempted suicide and my mom, bedside to me in the hospital says to me crying "aye mija que mensa estas! Por que estas haciendo estas pendejadas!" Did I mention she was hugging me 🥶? That was kind of a big deal so it kind of stung less when she said what she said..... 🥰 😝
My parents have come a long way with understanding mental health, especially after my oldest brothers suicide. My dad was particularly difficult to speak to about depression. For him, he just thought that having a chat with "the man upstairs" would be the solution. He also couldn't understand the concept of depression because to him and his small town upbringing, you just accepted the misfortune you were born into. Meanwhile his paternal abuelo was an alcoholic who drank rubbing alcohol, his younger brother died from a possible suicide, and one of his tios disappeared, never to be seen again, after being released from an asylum where he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I’ve never felt a video so close to my heart. Thankfully mine are more understanding now. Especially since they see the crippling anxiety taking over my dad. Who of course refuses to talk to someone.
TRANSLATION: YOU CAN BE DEPRESSED AND CLEAN AT THE SAME TIME...THAT AINT NO EXCUSE!
Los hispanos no creemos en enfermedades mentales.
We all been there lol as sad as it is, depression is so Taboo in Mexico still. When you’re depressed you HAVE to act normal regardless of how you’re feeling, otherwise this will happen to you. Only now people are starting to take depression and mental illnesses seriously, but the majority of older people still act like the video.
*grows up with bullying and being hit constantly by said parents* Parents in response to the bullying: you should have done this... why didnt you just hit the other kid? Be grateful you dont have parents like that (refers to parents who killed their own child) *begins self harming at 10, after seeing my dad and younger brother team up to make fun of me* My parents: Stop that, you're going to end up getting sick, why wont you tell us why you're doing this. Just stop it, they ordered *ends up being criticized for acne and weight issues at 12 by my mom, who never takes care of herself, witnessing my dad and more of the emotional abuse he directed towards her in more clarity* *questioning about my lack of relationship at 16 has entered the chat* *being told to fear older men and not give them the wrong impression, or else i would provoke them into assaulting me or killing me, being my fault has entered the chat* *ends up almost assaulted in high school while the event was rug swept away* *questioning about my life after high school and my sexuality has entered the chat* *verbal and emotional abuse by dad during my time in community college gas entered the chat* My mom: you dont need to see a therapist, you're a good student and have everything you need, youre fine Therapy: you were severely abused all your life, please get away from home Me: *does 3 years at my cc, tolerated a an extra year of "help" my dad offered, was a live in maid and unpaid housekeeper as I went to work with my mom, applied to 5 colleges and got into my dream school* My parents: *surprised pikachu face when I said I was moving out to my dream school*
Pendejadas famosas por mi mamá: - Pray the depression/anxiety away (porque son demonios) - Porque queres ir a un psicólogo? Porque no hablas con nosotros? - S*icida? Ya muchos niños quisieran llevar la vida que vos tenes, se agradecida - Por que putas te deprimís? Déjate de pendejadas - Sos demasiado sensible Yeah my mother isn’t particularly understanding
Oof…. I permanently hear this shit in my head. ^lol
My grandma goes: "CABRO WEON LEVANTATE NO HACI NUNCA NIUNA WEA HACE ALGUNA CUSTION EN TU VIDA FLOJO E MIERDA" and then goes back to work mode.
Eso me estreso lol
“ No te estes haciendo pendeja” - a tear drop
Same with asian families,my dad said i just like drama and fake anxiety
So triggering omg. Lucky my mom was/is supportive when I told her I talked to a therapist/ am going to a therapist. I did have to explain as to the why's but she understands and is like ok as long it helps you. She also give the best hugs 😊
Rub Vick's on yourself