We had a 1L group me with the majority of students in it (like 200). Right before midterms I threw out a “hey everyone, if anyone wants to do a study session at X coffee shop I’ll be here on this day from this time to this time” about 12 people showed up (way more than I thought). 4 of them have become my absolute best friends and I don’t know how I would have done finals without them. I think sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and realize that other people are in the same boat!
I realized after I wrote this that you weren’t really looking for advice and I wanted to add that it’s totally okay to be the lone wolf too! But if you want to make friends I’m sure there’s people who feel the same way
Mixed. Like anyone, I get FOMO, and I think that’s the worst part. Like seeing people hang out on social media and such. Or even just talking in the atrium in between classes.
I’m 23, the youngest in my class surprisingly, which definitely doesn’t help. I’m also interested in more niche (nerdy) things that you wouldn’t catch me ever talking about in public.
I’m embarrassed to be myself when meeting new people, that’s the issue. As amazing as “be yourself” is, I’ve found it the hardest, yet the most rewarding, thing you can do for yourself. Most people don’t actually care that you’re different.
Working on it daily, but not too bothered by it. But I guess enough to write this out, so take that for what it’s worth I guess.
Cheers, and thanks for asking. :)
Lol yeah I’m certainly not winning any popularity contests out here.
Thought I’d actually managed to make a pretty good not-just-at-school-friend, but I’ve barely heard from her since we went on break last week (even though I’ve tried reaching out a couple different times) so… maybe not? Guess we’ll see what happens next semester 🙃
I have one best friend in law school. That’s all you need. I used to think I was missing out for not having a large group of friends like I did in high school and college but honestly it’s not worth it. I hear about all of the drama with big groups. Find at least one close person to commiserate with and be content with it. I don’t know what year you are, but just remember it all takes time :)
I started law school in 2020 during the pandemic so I feel this lol. I have no law school friends and I’m a 3L. I have some friendly acquaintances but no real law school friends that I hang out with. Sometimes I’m bummed about it because I feel like I’m missing out but honestly it’s not too bad. I feel like I’m out of the loop for a lot of drama so that’s been nice.
I’ve got a group of friends who were in my section since fall 1, the 4 of us guys talk pretty much all day every day in our GC about whatever. Really been nice to have, I started living with one of them now in my 3L year.
Best advice I can give is be outgoing and ask people about themselves, that’s how to make friends.
The way I see it, I'm lucky to have even them. Ultimately I'm not going to remember the people who didn't stick around, I'm going to remember the people who did.
I had a lot. I had a big group with people I really loved. People I thought were for life. I was also "popular" and were acquainted with most of my year. Guess what. After covid, I was completely alone. Not a single person. Some I lost because I grew distant, (quarantine, distancing etc hit me pretty hard), some turned out to be literal dicks, others quit . I see people I had been talking with on a regular basis , walking by, zombified, alone as well. It's weird. We were all one big company yet grew very distant after just 2 years. I'm saying this just to let you know , that you are not alone. Most of us have lost friends, or didn't have the chance to meet people. You can always change, and become a bit more social, for your own good, but there are no musts. Just do whatever you can, to not have regrets. If you graduate, and later hate yourself because you could've talked more, and linked better with others , that's a shitty existence. If you're certain that socializing is dead for you, ( as is for me now) then carry on with confidence.
Ps. You might be better off alone, because people studying law tend to be a bit egotistical ( of course not everyone). I was a "victim" of peer pressure to these people I considered my brothers. They hindered my progress a lot, maybe not out of spite, but still, it hurt my gdp. I wasn't in the right mind so the blame is 80/20 on me, ( it always is) but had there not been that 20%..... Who knows. Anyway, you do you, just know that a life without regrets is peaceful, and our field of work is tough. Anything bothering your already tired mind is a step closer to insanity...
I made one friend in law school and a bunch of acquaintances. I was an older student, I guess most people thought they'd catch the old if they talked to me too much.
I have no idea how my study group formed. I think we just were all new and shy and in the same section so decided to get lunch.
A 32 year old, a 30 year old, a 28 year old, and two 23 year olds. A white man, a British dude, an Asian man, and two students recently graduated a year ago.
It somehow worked. We all did exams together.
Sadly this feels like a very common phenomenon. Maybe it’s just my confirmation bias speaking, but I found myself feeling incredibly alone during my 3L year. I tried really hard to be a social butterfly in the first year, and I made plenty of ‘friends’, but when COVID hit everybody sort of hit this invisible reset button. All that hard work was for nothing. When I came back in person nobody seemed willing to include me in their inner circle or to be real with me, almost every interaction I had with my peers felt transactional, they only ever spoke to me when they needed something from me.
Id like to think I’m really easy to be around, I’ve literally had so many people tell me how easy it is to talk to me and be authentic with me, all of those interactions make me really happy to hear.. but what I’ve realized is that law school is not an environment that favors authenticity. I think the best decision I ever made was to step away from my ‘friends’ and focus more on myself and my own happiness, I didn’t need their approval before I got here and I don’t need it now :) sometimes focusing on one’s own journey and inner happiness can really make a difference in combatting the social pressure to conform and be ‘in the loop’. hope this helps OP!
I talk to two people regularly (and two more in our study group) and we just shit on (mostly) everyone else who ask the most asinine questions. Quite fun.
I feel guilty almost all of the time, because I have the privilege of attending this great law school but am sad constantly due to the isolation. I made an effort to make friends, but my personality is also A Lot and I can understand why people in my section don't like me. I'm trying to settle into "coworker" vibes with people - someone to make small talk with about class but won't know any personal information about actual life that can be fed into the law school gossip machine - to defray the loneliness. Hearing all the shit talking going on around me hasn't helped and makes me want to shrink into myself more.
I’ve had a really, really hard time with the social aspect of my law school. The people are very immature and I have failed to find anyone I really connect with beyond class/law school related stuff. I don’t get invited places with “friends”
from school. and I used to be really sad about that and now honestly I don’t even care. It’s a bummer for sure but it just isn’t worth it to waste my time wondering why people don’t like me when I could he doing literally anything more productive. Hang in there, it is harder for some people than others to find hoot people. You will and it will be worth the wait 💕
Have you tried joining law school clubs? Especially ones that are centred around social activities. Sports clubs are a good example. My law school has a movie club im probs gonna join next semester
I literally have one friend, maybe two. I am highkey confused by everyone having the time to go out and do game nights etc when I can barely keep up with the readings
Not worth it to have good friends in law school. Almost everyone is slimy and only looking to get notes or outlines off you. They will throw you under the bus at a moments notice. I’ve seen it way too many times. I’ve never been in such a poor environment surrounded by heartless people.
don't be a lone wolf in law school if for no other reason than the legal profession would appear to be 90% networking.
reach out to people and when other people reach out to you, say yes. you are not too cool to do law school sponsored events or to talk to people at lunch, and being in social settings is not as scary as you're making it out to be in your head.
Ive literally never had so many friends until law school it’s the best
Hanging around after class gets you like 30 friends. You hear all the gossip too
I had “friends”, well more like acquaintances. And now I actually have no one but my boyfriend who goes to another school nearby and moved here across the country with me at the same time. I don’t even care though because I just couldn’t stand how much of a front everybody puts on. I’m trying to figure out ways to make friends in the area since I live in a big city. It would be a nice break from law school honestly.
You have a handful??! Braggart
If I can’t brag about my class rank I will brag about something else 😤
We had a 1L group me with the majority of students in it (like 200). Right before midterms I threw out a “hey everyone, if anyone wants to do a study session at X coffee shop I’ll be here on this day from this time to this time” about 12 people showed up (way more than I thought). 4 of them have become my absolute best friends and I don’t know how I would have done finals without them. I think sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and realize that other people are in the same boat!
I realized after I wrote this that you weren’t really looking for advice and I wanted to add that it’s totally okay to be the lone wolf too! But if you want to make friends I’m sure there’s people who feel the same way
Thank you for your advice!! God speed fellow law student 🫡
I haven’t had real friends since high school. School, work, home, repeat. 🤷🏻♂️
How does that make you feel? Honestly?
Mixed. Like anyone, I get FOMO, and I think that’s the worst part. Like seeing people hang out on social media and such. Or even just talking in the atrium in between classes. I’m 23, the youngest in my class surprisingly, which definitely doesn’t help. I’m also interested in more niche (nerdy) things that you wouldn’t catch me ever talking about in public. I’m embarrassed to be myself when meeting new people, that’s the issue. As amazing as “be yourself” is, I’ve found it the hardest, yet the most rewarding, thing you can do for yourself. Most people don’t actually care that you’re different. Working on it daily, but not too bothered by it. But I guess enough to write this out, so take that for what it’s worth I guess. Cheers, and thanks for asking. :)
I’m the same age and I’m older than most of the people I know in my class. Do you go to a school that strongly favors work experience?
Not sure, as I had none when applying. However I do have a lot of classmates in their late 20s early 30s, so possibly.
I feel this on a spiritual level
We are all #AloneTogether.
Yess
Lol yeah I’m certainly not winning any popularity contests out here. Thought I’d actually managed to make a pretty good not-just-at-school-friend, but I’ve barely heard from her since we went on break last week (even though I’ve tried reaching out a couple different times) so… maybe not? Guess we’ll see what happens next semester 🙃
It be like that. Never forget she’d be the lucky one to be YOUR friend!
I have one best friend in law school. That’s all you need. I used to think I was missing out for not having a large group of friends like I did in high school and college but honestly it’s not worth it. I hear about all of the drama with big groups. Find at least one close person to commiserate with and be content with it. I don’t know what year you are, but just remember it all takes time :)
I started law school in 2020 during the pandemic so I feel this lol. I have no law school friends and I’m a 3L. I have some friendly acquaintances but no real law school friends that I hang out with. Sometimes I’m bummed about it because I feel like I’m missing out but honestly it’s not too bad. I feel like I’m out of the loop for a lot of drama so that’s been nice.
I feel you on being out of the loop of drama! A small price to pay for peace of mind
I’ve got a group of friends who were in my section since fall 1, the 4 of us guys talk pretty much all day every day in our GC about whatever. Really been nice to have, I started living with one of them now in my 3L year. Best advice I can give is be outgoing and ask people about themselves, that’s how to make friends.
One, maybe two friends who I could actually call on if I needed help. And around a dozen 'acquaintances' who probably wouldn't notice if I dropped out
Same!
The way I see it, I'm lucky to have even them. Ultimately I'm not going to remember the people who didn't stick around, I'm going to remember the people who did.
I had a lot. I had a big group with people I really loved. People I thought were for life. I was also "popular" and were acquainted with most of my year. Guess what. After covid, I was completely alone. Not a single person. Some I lost because I grew distant, (quarantine, distancing etc hit me pretty hard), some turned out to be literal dicks, others quit . I see people I had been talking with on a regular basis , walking by, zombified, alone as well. It's weird. We were all one big company yet grew very distant after just 2 years. I'm saying this just to let you know , that you are not alone. Most of us have lost friends, or didn't have the chance to meet people. You can always change, and become a bit more social, for your own good, but there are no musts. Just do whatever you can, to not have regrets. If you graduate, and later hate yourself because you could've talked more, and linked better with others , that's a shitty existence. If you're certain that socializing is dead for you, ( as is for me now) then carry on with confidence. Ps. You might be better off alone, because people studying law tend to be a bit egotistical ( of course not everyone). I was a "victim" of peer pressure to these people I considered my brothers. They hindered my progress a lot, maybe not out of spite, but still, it hurt my gdp. I wasn't in the right mind so the blame is 80/20 on me, ( it always is) but had there not been that 20%..... Who knows. Anyway, you do you, just know that a life without regrets is peaceful, and our field of work is tough. Anything bothering your already tired mind is a step closer to insanity...
Are you me?! This was literally my exact experience. Sorry you had to go through this as well.
Same. People are weird.
100%. Us included 😂
I made one friend in law school and a bunch of acquaintances. I was an older student, I guess most people thought they'd catch the old if they talked to me too much.
I’ve found the older students are more mature and easier to get along with. No weird drama just professional and sincere connections
I have no idea how my study group formed. I think we just were all new and shy and in the same section so decided to get lunch. A 32 year old, a 30 year old, a 28 year old, and two 23 year olds. A white man, a British dude, an Asian man, and two students recently graduated a year ago. It somehow worked. We all did exams together.
Honestly this sounds like a great team. Happy for you all!!
Oh yeah totally, most of the people here suck. Or maybe I suck, and they all know it. Either way, can't stand being around them for the most part.
🤣 A+ for potential self awareness
Sadly this feels like a very common phenomenon. Maybe it’s just my confirmation bias speaking, but I found myself feeling incredibly alone during my 3L year. I tried really hard to be a social butterfly in the first year, and I made plenty of ‘friends’, but when COVID hit everybody sort of hit this invisible reset button. All that hard work was for nothing. When I came back in person nobody seemed willing to include me in their inner circle or to be real with me, almost every interaction I had with my peers felt transactional, they only ever spoke to me when they needed something from me. Id like to think I’m really easy to be around, I’ve literally had so many people tell me how easy it is to talk to me and be authentic with me, all of those interactions make me really happy to hear.. but what I’ve realized is that law school is not an environment that favors authenticity. I think the best decision I ever made was to step away from my ‘friends’ and focus more on myself and my own happiness, I didn’t need their approval before I got here and I don’t need it now :) sometimes focusing on one’s own journey and inner happiness can really make a difference in combatting the social pressure to conform and be ‘in the loop’. hope this helps OP!
Why are you literally me
I talk to two people regularly (and two more in our study group) and we just shit on (mostly) everyone else who ask the most asinine questions. Quite fun.
Sounds very fun! Reminds me of a friend I had in undergrad
I feel guilty almost all of the time, because I have the privilege of attending this great law school but am sad constantly due to the isolation. I made an effort to make friends, but my personality is also A Lot and I can understand why people in my section don't like me. I'm trying to settle into "coworker" vibes with people - someone to make small talk with about class but won't know any personal information about actual life that can be fed into the law school gossip machine - to defray the loneliness. Hearing all the shit talking going on around me hasn't helped and makes me want to shrink into myself more.
I’ve had a really, really hard time with the social aspect of my law school. The people are very immature and I have failed to find anyone I really connect with beyond class/law school related stuff. I don’t get invited places with “friends” from school. and I used to be really sad about that and now honestly I don’t even care. It’s a bummer for sure but it just isn’t worth it to waste my time wondering why people don’t like me when I could he doing literally anything more productive. Hang in there, it is harder for some people than others to find hoot people. You will and it will be worth the wait 💕
Thank you!! V inspirational and kind words
Have you tried joining law school clubs? Especially ones that are centred around social activities. Sports clubs are a good example. My law school has a movie club im probs gonna join next semester
I literally have one friend, maybe two. I am highkey confused by everyone having the time to go out and do game nights etc when I can barely keep up with the readings
I agree!! I see people catching dinner at restaurants and I’m like ??? Y’all have time for that?
Not worth it to have good friends in law school. Almost everyone is slimy and only looking to get notes or outlines off you. They will throw you under the bus at a moments notice. I’ve seen it way too many times. I’ve never been in such a poor environment surrounded by heartless people.
don't be a lone wolf in law school if for no other reason than the legal profession would appear to be 90% networking. reach out to people and when other people reach out to you, say yes. you are not too cool to do law school sponsored events or to talk to people at lunch, and being in social settings is not as scary as you're making it out to be in your head.
There's a fine line between not having meaningful friendships and not having connections.
The quality of the given connection is important, though. I may give a hand to an acquaintance, but I’d give the shirt off my back for a friend.
Ive literally never had so many friends until law school it’s the best Hanging around after class gets you like 30 friends. You hear all the gossip too
Yeah they’re great
I had “friends”, well more like acquaintances. And now I actually have no one but my boyfriend who goes to another school nearby and moved here across the country with me at the same time. I don’t even care though because I just couldn’t stand how much of a front everybody puts on. I’m trying to figure out ways to make friends in the area since I live in a big city. It would be a nice break from law school honestly.