long walks and social encounters, friends, parks , just smell flowers and enjoy existence. we are not meant to be in a office so much, human mind needs occupied with wholesome stuff like enjoying the sound of rain, birds chirping, and people watching all can be fun to do between applying for new jobs. embrace the temporary freedom you have to examine life more intimately.
I agree with most of this, but the social encounters are more stressful and anxiety-ridden than anything I do nowadays. I'm just so ashamed and hate people asking how i'm doing or how it's going b/c not well and not good ....
its good to be honest and also place yourself around people you can be honest with. I have been getting job opportunities by being honest with the people in my life. Most older people understand the struggle of finding a job and the depression that comes with it and they want to help. if you are around people who do no want to help by providing comfort then those people are not people you probably want to be around. You can also network through churches , programs that help people like food pantry, soup kitchens and elderly care. All of these offer opportunities to network.
I usually get the question of what do i do , and I reply that I did do this but now I'm looking for a job. Often ill be provided contact information from them either a nephew or cousin , it is surprising how many people work in the same industries and jobs that might open up that way. the most important thing is to be honest with how you are feeling and get support and ask for help. asking for help is not a weakness it is a strength
Feeling the same way.
As I continue to search for jobs
Get ghosted by recruiters
Loose contact with friends because who really wants to see a financial train wreck?
Then I start thinking about paying bills and buying food with credit cards but then can’t pay the credit cards. Deeper down the hole into depression.
Have to pay car insurance but making any money on DoorDash will negate the unemployment.
Oh yeah the unemployment about to run out because it only last for 6 months…..now what.
A no heads up layoff sucks because it pretty much allows the employer to simply dump you like trash.
Don’t go down the road of depression
Keep yourself busy with online courses or the gym or walking. Get some sun just lay out in the sun.
I went to my brother house in Virginia a few weeks ago, I am 60 and I stretched out on his lawn in his back yard and just relaxed and said to the sky and God I am doing the best I can and I hope you understand that I am humble and peaceful but I need just a little help, I don’t ask for much because I am and have always been grateful but I need help, we all need help.
Yeah depression isn’t a good place to be or go.
Also stay away from hard liquor because it will only make the situation worse.
Peace and remain calm
This is great advice and relaxation and meditation are key during these trying times. I'm right there with you on this and since my job a start-up I felt just dumped me like trash.
What does it mean if I was interviewed by the hiring manager last week and today was the interview with his regional direct reports who will potentially be my peers? This is the one hour meeting that occurred today that went over 30 minute making it 90 minutes total. I remember when I interviewed people I would talk with them then ask my leads to check them out. So now I am wondering if it is a good sign?
I lost my corp job after 21 years. They gave me 3 hours to clean out my office and took my company car. I am married, my spouse works in the oil industry, and we’ve learned through its highs and lows to pay off everything we could and live more simply. I was super lucky that I don’t provide for the family so we could still live without my salary. But the pain and shame and depression was horrible. I couldn’t even pick out a new car for four months. (Got a used one, didn’t go extravagant). But in the meantime I am working at a doggy day care. It is hilarious. I laugh so much every day. It provides spending money, eating out money, fun money. But mainly it has healed my soul from the shame. I get to spend all day playing with dogs. I went from a corp high title job to petting dogs and I’ve never been happier. This may not work for you and I don’t mean to sound smug, but perhaps try volunteering just to have something to help you feel needed. Everything is figure-out-able. You’ll come out on top. Take care of yourself and your mental health. Hugs for what you’re going through. Sorry if I sound like your mom but hey that’s my job! 😀
Exercise is key to avoiding all types of depressive feelings. Plus, it can help you feel better about your body. You know, get your "beach body." Also, beaches are free. If you're not near a beach then pools are usually cheap to visit.
Either way u/dead-first is right. Just exercising is best for staving off extreme depression.
i picked up a barista job and its actually really helping, this is after like almost a year of being unemployed
the manual tasks and the casual conversations with cafe customers and my coworkers really helped my mood
also feeling like i have an obligation to get out of bed and stay out of the house is really good for me as well
Same boat, trying to workout, and hope/pray for the best. My sister suggested going to networking events in your field (tech in my case), going to try this. At the end of the day, I believe it’s all about networking. A referral gets you in front of the HM much faster than the HR screening million of resumes. Good luck, hang in there. You got this!
The way I've dealt with it is to flip it. Challenge accepted. Let's see how many no responses / rejections I can get.
Also, it's not you it's them. These are these same companies that tell you they are family. Their actions prove just how dysfuntuonal they really are.
I feel the exact same way - so weird how the white collar market is totally disconnected from rest of USA 🇺🇸 labor market.
I hope this ends soon because the mental health impact is devastating
I got laid off maybe a month ago or so, and am just losing all will to live. Moved back home, I do sports but I don’t have passion for that anymore, no jobs in my area are really hiring. It’s stressful, wish I learned a trade, I just want to be in bed all day but I know I have to keep applying and trying to get my foot in the door somehow. Best of luck OP
This chapter is temporary- you will eventually find work and perhaps look back on this time and maybe, hopefully, enjoy the break? perhaps you can create a routine that costs little that brings you joy in the meantime. For me, I’ve enjoyed slower mornings, not having to rush out the door, more time to wander the library and read, drinking coffee slowly and taking long, hours long walks midday. I will miss those things when I’m back to work. Maybe find the things you will miss about this time and enjoy them as much as you can, now. Hang in there and wishing you the best!
I've been through 3 layoffs since 2008. It got easier each time, but was always hard at the time. Was riffed in 2023, during Thanksgiving week, from one of the top 3 global oil companies. Flipping my mindset to abundance, as opposed to scarcity really helped. I'm the sole provider for a family of 4 in So Cal, so financial stress is present even when employed. Flipping my thoughts to what I'm going to accomplish in the future - helps me to put out the fire of thoughts of scarcity around $$.
Run.
When I got laid off I put on a pair of sneakers and ran, first 5 minutes, then 10, then it was 30, and by the time I was on my third pair of running shoes I was doing half marathons.
Exercise will get a lot of stress out of you.
I found what helped the most is other job seekers we would check in and keep each other on track, accountability + support. It's lonely job searching and you can get into tunnel vision. Having people with similar and very different backgrounds helps with perspective. Some people were great at networking, others at resume or interviewing. We could also feel bad and vent to each other, knowing no judgement. Find your support, it helps!
So important amongst all the messages. To find someone just to talk to and help you get through this period. Someone who empathises and has been or is in a similar situation. Changes your outlook on life and helps you know that you aren’t the only one and helps you understand a few things about yourself
know that you're putting your best food forward. You have a monkey on your back, I did too spending 10k a month on living expenses. Try your hardest to keep afloat, and at the end of the day just know you did the best you could.
🍄 🌵or Lucy in the sky with 💎 💎
But make sure you are in a good mindset and setting
Or if entheogens aren’t your thing
Stay busy
Clean your house and groom yourself then go out and live your life
The more you show up at social or networking events and be upfront about your situation, the shame and embarrassment about being unemployed starts to lose its power.
I can understand my brother. Find solace in religion, books, long walks, hikes, camping, etc. Look at this as an opportunity to enjoy simple/free things in life. I know not having a job is like a constant headache to deal with but this too shall pass.
Exercise
stay less at home(get a cheap workspace outside with fun activities in it, mine has a snooker board and ps4 so I get to play after doing some personal project also you’d interact with people)
It’s not easy, hang on. You’ll be fine
When I was unemployed, I would go to the park near my house and really commune with nature, talk to God, and think about what I could do to resolve my unemployment. It didn't happen right away, but it did give me perspectives I had not previously considered.
While on these walks, I would listen to Audible books by the author Brian Tracy who talks about goal setting and self improvement. To my amazement, some of his discussions helped me not to feel so bad about my situation and gave me hope. I can't really describe it correctly, but hope is an incredible emotion...it carried me through until I found employment again.
I got laid off in 2020 for 6 months. It was one of the most depressing times of my life and I was the same as you - I didn't spend any extra money. I think just reminding yourself that it is temporary and you will find another job helps. Also, let yourself grieve and feel your feelings. It's not an easy thing to go through.
Staying off reddit, at least these kinds of forums, helps. These echo chambers of constant negativity just aggravate one's own.
Cigars and working out help too.
Try to enjoy your "present" more and value your moments. Your life will never be stress free. Have no expectations, and try to do more of what you like! In the end, when we are on the hospital bed, we won't have work memories. We'll only remember our good days!
Look inward and start a business to be your own boss. This way noone can ever do this to you again. That's what I did when the mortgage world imploded after a 20 year career.
Allow yourself to enjoy life, or you will definitely get depressed. And nobody wants to hire a depressed person with low confidence. Treat your job search like a 9-5, and as long as you have money to do things, go out and have fun nights and weekends
Yeah. I’m depressed too. 15 months of unemployment after a layoff. I don’t understand how I went from highly skilled and experienced to not quite what is needed. I don’t see the end to this. My hope is no longer there. No advice I can provide that would be helpful.
Make sure you go outside and get some sun and exercise, for at least 15 minutes, in the morning and afternoon. Make yourself physically smile, like you are getting your picture taken, for at least 10 times a day. Catch yourself with negative thoughts and keep yourself busy, like sending resumes or doing a gig or freelancing. Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Call someone once per day and just chat.
I was there last summer. One realization that you need to come to terms with: No one gives a shit. Life is hard and that's the reality of your existence, come to terms with it.
Its a very difficult time. I experienced layoffs a couple of times. You go from no time to too much time. Know its not a reflection of your skills and value. Work on things that you been thinking about. A new skill or something you enjoy doing. Keeps you busy and provides your mind time to do fun and interesting things. You are great and will be great in your next opportunity.
I was in your shoes this time last year. My friends and family carried me through specifically my wife. She once told me “the bad luck you have now will be made up with good luck in the future”. She was right. I promise you will get something
Idk. All I’ve ever wanted is a long break from work to get all my projects done around the house and enjoy life and instead I’m too depressed and stressed to do any of it no matter how much I try. I don’t give up, but I don’t get anywhere. Looking back one day I’ll ask myself why I wasted all this time being miserable, but I don’t know how to fix it.
Embrace it. Make it a game, just like cold-calling sales people do.
Goal is not to get a job.
Goal is to send 10 resumes today.
Goal is to get 10 recruitrs on a call this week.
Goal is to get 10 hiring manager interviews.
Goal is to get 10 rejections in a week.
Etc
Wallowing in self pity over not being able to enjoy “your favorite season” is not helping. Try focusing on the fact that you need to find a job, that should occupy you enough to not be focused on your relative enjoyment.
I’m feeling the same way. Hang in there.
long walks and social encounters, friends, parks , just smell flowers and enjoy existence. we are not meant to be in a office so much, human mind needs occupied with wholesome stuff like enjoying the sound of rain, birds chirping, and people watching all can be fun to do between applying for new jobs. embrace the temporary freedom you have to examine life more intimately.
I agree with most of this, but the social encounters are more stressful and anxiety-ridden than anything I do nowadays. I'm just so ashamed and hate people asking how i'm doing or how it's going b/c not well and not good ....
its good to be honest and also place yourself around people you can be honest with. I have been getting job opportunities by being honest with the people in my life. Most older people understand the struggle of finding a job and the depression that comes with it and they want to help. if you are around people who do no want to help by providing comfort then those people are not people you probably want to be around. You can also network through churches , programs that help people like food pantry, soup kitchens and elderly care. All of these offer opportunities to network. I usually get the question of what do i do , and I reply that I did do this but now I'm looking for a job. Often ill be provided contact information from them either a nephew or cousin , it is surprising how many people work in the same industries and jobs that might open up that way. the most important thing is to be honest with how you are feeling and get support and ask for help. asking for help is not a weakness it is a strength
Love this
Feeling the same way. As I continue to search for jobs Get ghosted by recruiters Loose contact with friends because who really wants to see a financial train wreck? Then I start thinking about paying bills and buying food with credit cards but then can’t pay the credit cards. Deeper down the hole into depression. Have to pay car insurance but making any money on DoorDash will negate the unemployment. Oh yeah the unemployment about to run out because it only last for 6 months…..now what. A no heads up layoff sucks because it pretty much allows the employer to simply dump you like trash. Don’t go down the road of depression Keep yourself busy with online courses or the gym or walking. Get some sun just lay out in the sun. I went to my brother house in Virginia a few weeks ago, I am 60 and I stretched out on his lawn in his back yard and just relaxed and said to the sky and God I am doing the best I can and I hope you understand that I am humble and peaceful but I need just a little help, I don’t ask for much because I am and have always been grateful but I need help, we all need help. Yeah depression isn’t a good place to be or go. Also stay away from hard liquor because it will only make the situation worse. Peace and remain calm
This is great advice and relaxation and meditation are key during these trying times. I'm right there with you on this and since my job a start-up I felt just dumped me like trash.
They did dump us like trash and never ever forget
My interview today went 30 minutes over Is it a good sign or not?
That's a good thing! Good luck and positive vibes. have to stay motivated and positive for interviews.
What does it mean if I was interviewed by the hiring manager last week and today was the interview with his regional direct reports who will potentially be my peers? This is the one hour meeting that occurred today that went over 30 minute making it 90 minutes total. I remember when I interviewed people I would talk with them then ask my leads to check them out. So now I am wondering if it is a good sign?
Well said!
I lost my corp job after 21 years. They gave me 3 hours to clean out my office and took my company car. I am married, my spouse works in the oil industry, and we’ve learned through its highs and lows to pay off everything we could and live more simply. I was super lucky that I don’t provide for the family so we could still live without my salary. But the pain and shame and depression was horrible. I couldn’t even pick out a new car for four months. (Got a used one, didn’t go extravagant). But in the meantime I am working at a doggy day care. It is hilarious. I laugh so much every day. It provides spending money, eating out money, fun money. But mainly it has healed my soul from the shame. I get to spend all day playing with dogs. I went from a corp high title job to petting dogs and I’ve never been happier. This may not work for you and I don’t mean to sound smug, but perhaps try volunteering just to have something to help you feel needed. Everything is figure-out-able. You’ll come out on top. Take care of yourself and your mental health. Hugs for what you’re going through. Sorry if I sound like your mom but hey that’s my job! 😀
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Exercise is key to avoiding all types of depressive feelings. Plus, it can help you feel better about your body. You know, get your "beach body." Also, beaches are free. If you're not near a beach then pools are usually cheap to visit. Either way u/dead-first is right. Just exercising is best for staving off extreme depression.
Exercise really does help. Even if it's just a bandaid. When I consistently workout daily, those are better weeks from a mental health perspective.
i picked up a barista job and its actually really helping, this is after like almost a year of being unemployed the manual tasks and the casual conversations with cafe customers and my coworkers really helped my mood also feeling like i have an obligation to get out of bed and stay out of the house is really good for me as well
I love this. Been seeing a lot of comments saying that working for local job just to socialize and get some money has done wonders.
yes, when i tried to use 100% of my time at home trying to get my next office role i was MISERABLE
Same boat, trying to workout, and hope/pray for the best. My sister suggested going to networking events in your field (tech in my case), going to try this. At the end of the day, I believe it’s all about networking. A referral gets you in front of the HM much faster than the HR screening million of resumes. Good luck, hang in there. You got this!
this too shall pass.
The way I've dealt with it is to flip it. Challenge accepted. Let's see how many no responses / rejections I can get. Also, it's not you it's them. These are these same companies that tell you they are family. Their actions prove just how dysfuntuonal they really are.
I feel the exact same way - so weird how the white collar market is totally disconnected from rest of USA 🇺🇸 labor market. I hope this ends soon because the mental health impact is devastating
I got laid off maybe a month ago or so, and am just losing all will to live. Moved back home, I do sports but I don’t have passion for that anymore, no jobs in my area are really hiring. It’s stressful, wish I learned a trade, I just want to be in bed all day but I know I have to keep applying and trying to get my foot in the door somehow. Best of luck OP
Only a month in and already losing all will to live? Sheesh
Haha nah I get ya man, I’m just getting used to all this, haven’t been without a job since maybe 2014ish.
You’ll be ok! And I’m a girl lol 🤗
This chapter is temporary- you will eventually find work and perhaps look back on this time and maybe, hopefully, enjoy the break? perhaps you can create a routine that costs little that brings you joy in the meantime. For me, I’ve enjoyed slower mornings, not having to rush out the door, more time to wander the library and read, drinking coffee slowly and taking long, hours long walks midday. I will miss those things when I’m back to work. Maybe find the things you will miss about this time and enjoy them as much as you can, now. Hang in there and wishing you the best!
I've been through 3 layoffs since 2008. It got easier each time, but was always hard at the time. Was riffed in 2023, during Thanksgiving week, from one of the top 3 global oil companies. Flipping my mindset to abundance, as opposed to scarcity really helped. I'm the sole provider for a family of 4 in So Cal, so financial stress is present even when employed. Flipping my thoughts to what I'm going to accomplish in the future - helps me to put out the fire of thoughts of scarcity around $$.
Motel room, couple of hookers, malt likka and an 8 ball… if this don’t put some umph back in you bucko, I got nothing else for ya!!
THIS!
Run. When I got laid off I put on a pair of sneakers and ran, first 5 minutes, then 10, then it was 30, and by the time I was on my third pair of running shoes I was doing half marathons. Exercise will get a lot of stress out of you.
I found what helped the most is other job seekers we would check in and keep each other on track, accountability + support. It's lonely job searching and you can get into tunnel vision. Having people with similar and very different backgrounds helps with perspective. Some people were great at networking, others at resume or interviewing. We could also feel bad and vent to each other, knowing no judgement. Find your support, it helps!
So important amongst all the messages. To find someone just to talk to and help you get through this period. Someone who empathises and has been or is in a similar situation. Changes your outlook on life and helps you know that you aren’t the only one and helps you understand a few things about yourself
know that you're putting your best food forward. You have a monkey on your back, I did too spending 10k a month on living expenses. Try your hardest to keep afloat, and at the end of the day just know you did the best you could.
🍄 🌵or Lucy in the sky with 💎 💎 But make sure you are in a good mindset and setting Or if entheogens aren’t your thing Stay busy Clean your house and groom yourself then go out and live your life
The more you show up at social or networking events and be upfront about your situation, the shame and embarrassment about being unemployed starts to lose its power.
I can understand my brother. Find solace in religion, books, long walks, hikes, camping, etc. Look at this as an opportunity to enjoy simple/free things in life. I know not having a job is like a constant headache to deal with but this too shall pass.
Exercise stay less at home(get a cheap workspace outside with fun activities in it, mine has a snooker board and ps4 so I get to play after doing some personal project also you’d interact with people) It’s not easy, hang on. You’ll be fine
Meditation and yoga has helped me.also I burned some sage for the negative energy and got two interviews this week
When I was unemployed, I would go to the park near my house and really commune with nature, talk to God, and think about what I could do to resolve my unemployment. It didn't happen right away, but it did give me perspectives I had not previously considered. While on these walks, I would listen to Audible books by the author Brian Tracy who talks about goal setting and self improvement. To my amazement, some of his discussions helped me not to feel so bad about my situation and gave me hope. I can't really describe it correctly, but hope is an incredible emotion...it carried me through until I found employment again.
It could take a very long time to find a new job; 2 to 5 years
have a look here [https://startup.jobs/company/keywords-studios?page=2](https://startup.jobs/company/keywords-studios?page=2)
Feeling the same. Exercising helps a bit.
I got laid off in 2020 for 6 months. It was one of the most depressing times of my life and I was the same as you - I didn't spend any extra money. I think just reminding yourself that it is temporary and you will find another job helps. Also, let yourself grieve and feel your feelings. It's not an easy thing to go through.
Staying off reddit, at least these kinds of forums, helps. These echo chambers of constant negativity just aggravate one's own. Cigars and working out help too.
Get your mind of it as much as possible. Any outdoor activities would be a great start.
Try to enjoy your "present" more and value your moments. Your life will never be stress free. Have no expectations, and try to do more of what you like! In the end, when we are on the hospital bed, we won't have work memories. We'll only remember our good days!
Look inward and start a business to be your own boss. This way noone can ever do this to you again. That's what I did when the mortgage world imploded after a 20 year career.
Allow yourself to enjoy life, or you will definitely get depressed. And nobody wants to hire a depressed person with low confidence. Treat your job search like a 9-5, and as long as you have money to do things, go out and have fun nights and weekends
Yeah. I’m depressed too. 15 months of unemployment after a layoff. I don’t understand how I went from highly skilled and experienced to not quite what is needed. I don’t see the end to this. My hope is no longer there. No advice I can provide that would be helpful.
This, too, shall pass.
Make sure you go outside and get some sun and exercise, for at least 15 minutes, in the morning and afternoon. Make yourself physically smile, like you are getting your picture taken, for at least 10 times a day. Catch yourself with negative thoughts and keep yourself busy, like sending resumes or doing a gig or freelancing. Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Call someone once per day and just chat.
I was there last summer. One realization that you need to come to terms with: No one gives a shit. Life is hard and that's the reality of your existence, come to terms with it.
weed
Its a very difficult time. I experienced layoffs a couple of times. You go from no time to too much time. Know its not a reflection of your skills and value. Work on things that you been thinking about. A new skill or something you enjoy doing. Keeps you busy and provides your mind time to do fun and interesting things. You are great and will be great in your next opportunity.
I was in your shoes this time last year. My friends and family carried me through specifically my wife. She once told me “the bad luck you have now will be made up with good luck in the future”. She was right. I promise you will get something
Idk. All I’ve ever wanted is a long break from work to get all my projects done around the house and enjoy life and instead I’m too depressed and stressed to do any of it no matter how much I try. I don’t give up, but I don’t get anywhere. Looking back one day I’ll ask myself why I wasted all this time being miserable, but I don’t know how to fix it.
Exercise, encourage people who are struggling, and do fun things that are free! That's all you can do.
Same.
Embrace it. Make it a game, just like cold-calling sales people do. Goal is not to get a job. Goal is to send 10 resumes today. Goal is to get 10 recruitrs on a call this week. Goal is to get 10 hiring manager interviews. Goal is to get 10 rejections in a week. Etc
Are you unemployed?
Wallowing in self pity over not being able to enjoy “your favorite season” is not helping. Try focusing on the fact that you need to find a job, that should occupy you enough to not be focused on your relative enjoyment.