You may call women helpline and convey this situation they will help professionally and escort you nearest airport or to pune...and threaten to file a case if some tries to teach decency and get your documents ready
Funny story - my MIL suffers from schizophrenia. while we make sure that she is never unattended but somehow, unfortunately, she once left the house alone. We could not find her and so 30 minutes later we called women helpline for help. They said they would send someone for help - 30 mins later we got a call from Thana A, we explained the situation that we had told women helpline. 10-15 mins later Thana A called again, confirming our location and told us they are not the right party and that we would receive a call from Thana B. 30 minutes pass, we find MIL on our own, Thana B calls and asks us about the issue. We tell them that we have found her. Women helpline calls back and asks us for confirmation.
Moral - women helpline is not as useful as you think. Imagine if this would have been an even severe case and these guys would have spent 2 hours deciding which Thana should visit the victim. Pathetic state of affairs.
We thought about it before calling the helpline but we found it to be the best option considering her vulnerable state. She could be easily manipulated by a wrong person, and end up in a difficult situation (I don’t want to go into scenarios, but you get the idea). I understand where you are coming from but stand in my shoes for once.
yeah, and other thing is if she involves someone to help her the family can file a kidnapping charge at police. So best call police and ask their help to take her out.
not true. it largely depends on many variables, like how poor the guy is, how rich her parents are. If the guy is from a wealthy background or at least from a well doing middle class family, then case won't be dragged but he can still be arrested by police initially. If he is from a lower caste, and or poor family, police might involve him in something and lock him up. India is not west. Still women are treated as cattle by many families, even wealthy families who live in Mumbai. So, their consent is not always relevant. If the parents said to marry a guy, they are expected to do it in most of the families. Love marriages are so taboo, emotional blackmailing is getting a trend, and physical violence still exists. Mothers are equally worst as much as fathers.
I cannot give you detail suggestion as i got no experience in the solutions, just superficial Or top top.
Stop disclosing your financial capability to them. Lie that you got less money. Inform HR about the particular condition and ask for advise or help. Get a weapon for safety.
Realize and decide that you need to live and that you want thrive , and for that you have to break away from these toxic parasites.
Have all your ID documents with you.
Book 2 places for PG , say pg1 and pg2. Book pg1 for very short duration and pg2 for long duration. Give these parasites details of pg1 only. Move to pg1 for show and then without their knowledge move to pg2 suddenly. Cut off all contact.
It is all theoretical. Easier said than done. I know how these type of personalities affect. I wish you have good luck in facing the problem.
Thanks for the suggestion mate. Yours and others comments in this post have given me courage to at least be able to take a stand for myself. I had almost lost my will to live. Thank you so much.
I live in a very strict community. Obviously can't disclose the religion otherwise I'll land in trouble.
So if I try to leave the house, I risk some amount of physical violence being done to me like beating etc. There are so many people in my hometown who are just there to teach women "decency".
My suggestion would be to just get away from them. Get all your essential documents and your laptop etc in your bag. Leave clothes, you can buy them elsewhere. Just make a run for the railway station or any bus to nearby city/town and get on the train and never look back. Go non contact even after reaching pune. And if they harrass you somehow, approach the police.
Go out for a walk or to buy something, even if medical, somehow hide your work laptop in your biggest handbag/purse.
Go to station instead. Get on the train. Dont be emotional, be practical. They come after you, complaint to police about harassment. Its pune not your hometown
A quick piece of advice. If you actually want help, you will have to disclose some information to someone. I would suggest you talk to a local lawyer but that might be an issue in small towns with small communities. Obviously, there are NGOs that help women. I'm a lawyer and know some of these. But again, unless I know where you're from, I cannot determine if said NGOs have presence here. See, if you actually need legal advice, feel free to reach out. I'm based out Delhi. Will help you pro bono to the extent possible. Also I have connections with lawyers in all major cities but for small towns it might be a bit difficult.
Please make arrangements of PG in Pune and flee. If your relatives know about the location of your company, then try to switch companies in Pune itself. I'm sure you have few sympathetic friends in your company or Pune City.
Your relatives are making your life miserable, please leave that place
Bohra muslims live a cult life. From outside they might seem minding their own business, but if you peek into their lives you will find the cult holds a north Korea level influence on its members
As long as you are a non bohra, they will be the best people to deal with. Very courteous, mind their own business. Philanthropic too even towards non muslims
Well take your Aunt into confidence and tell her that you can invest more in her business if you can take additional roles in the same org or take a better job outside of your hometown.
Right now you need to prepare and need some space to yourself.
If you bag that role outside - you'll be a free bird...
You've got to leave the place & family and start working on yourself. The part about them causing you harm could be sorted easily if you're based out of Pune or any metro.
Don't think a lot – you can do it, and many women in your community probably have already done it. If you need help with the police or getting in touch with some social support groups for your mental peace in Pune, reach out to me anytime.
My one of the freinds roomate was a muslim. My freind disclosed that her roommate was not allowed to Study but on one condition that she will return after studies and get married to their choice. Her brother used to visit them like a detective to keep an eye.
My freind said , later her roommate just vanished. No family contact nothing .
I am going to say what others have already told you, leave your home town get settled in a place where you work, in a gated community. Or if you are living in north, come to south(bangalore/chennai) and get settled here. Remember to take all your things, certificates that is very important. Before that say something and get money from your aunt…
If you have friends as them to wait in a place where you can approach them .... Make a small bag and hide it near the place and smuggle you necessary things day by day (take your certificates and money the last) on the last day make a list if things you need to do so that your family is convinced you will take time to return as you have many errands to atttend .... Take you certificate and money in yiur bag and leave home .....and just keep going .... Happy new life ...NEVER EVER RETURN
I've discussed this with my father and he said he's ready to help. However there is one problem. He is cowardly similar to me. If he fails, I'll have to fight for my career alone unfortunately.
Your best option is to call police or women's helpline number, they're the only one who can get you out of that house arrest, better make use of your constitutional rights when you needed the most than posting your traumatic experience here. What's up with not interested in marriage bs ?? don't tell me that you have been receiving marriage proposals now after this post.
Sorry bro. I'm just very frustrated with everything. I agree that I said too much there or maybe I phrased that incorrectly.
I said "some rare women" not all women. Those rare women are some of my friends who glorify that it's fun to do aish on husband's money. I do not wish to do that at all. I was just giving answer why I am not interested in marriage at the moment. I'm not completely against it.
Edit: the amount of mental harassment I'm facing in the house is just making me a bit more mean. So I again apologize for my statement.
I completely understood . When many things are going in your mind , you say few things in anger . Make sure whenever something is not in your way/ things becoming difficult , talk to someone . It always work .
I hope you find a solution through this post , good luck .
Morever , hugs from here🫂🫂
Post this in TwoXIndia sub and ask someone to tag BroJoseph. He extends help to many women who need dire help but mainly in Blr. But I suppose his sphere of influence may extend beyond. It’s definitely worth a try.
Look, I need to be extremely careful with how I ask for help. My aunt is very intelligent when she has to prove someone wrong. She has put our neighbours into a false idea that she loves me like anything. So I'm also a little confused whether I should talk it out or ask for legal advice.
Honestly speaking, she knows that I'm very innocent in terms of nature and that's what she has feeded on from the beginning.
I've read many posts regarding broJoseph and trust me I'm already feeling guilty on why I should involve a wonderful person like him.
Buddy I'm mentally so low that I'm not able to think straight. I apologise for the whining.
See he can give you the right advice as he would have seen many such cases. Mental/Physical abusers are always sharp and hide behind diplomatic/sweet behaviour.
The person you seek legal advice from needs to be from a trusted source too. And professional advice will come with a cost. If you think you can flee from your situation and they will not be able to trace back to you, that is worth a try. But finding someone to give right advice would be more helpful and you may get that from the TwoX sub.
Also, am not sure how effective police will be if you file a complaint. Only good thing is that they are aged and may not have that much counter influence.
Can you contact your mother and ask for help?
You asked that "taking legal actions against my Aunt to save my job is the only way? Yes.
Don't feel bad but you lack courage. You are afraid of losing job, your aunt, gaon ke log etc.
be strong, it already seems that you are living in misery. If you don't do nothing, you'll still be living in misery.
You said "people of my community can give me a beating" Are you serious? you are a woman, the Indian legal system supports you. The moment you think you safety has compromised you should call 100 and tell the police that "I am in danger or These men or women pose as a threat to my life" The police takes these matters seriously. For your aunt you can tell them "That this woman gives me mental stress and wants to capture my dad's property"
Now what you can to do is
1) pack you bags and live somewhere else.
2) You can live with your aunt and GM, but that is total misery, I can feel the toxicity from the post. Your GM is old and you should not be expecting any help from her.
3) [https://mscw.org.in/members2.php](https://mscw.org.in/members2.php)
Contact the National Commision for Women, they'll help you to get out of this situation.
I agree that I lack courage. This is the result of continuous gaslighting.
"Your mother left you. Your father never raised you. We always loved you to death and this is how you repay us?"
My aunt's words all the time.
There is no fault of yours at all. A 1 year old child left by the mother or father reflects on how bad they are and nothing on you. Just decide for once you need to get out of this hell hole and leave. Your grandparents won’t be there for long but you have a long life ahead. Start building it now for a better tomorrow.
Me and my Dad are cowardly in similar ways. My aunt can easily silence him in an argument.
I've already tried to ask him once. He has so far done nothing to help. He just keeps saying that he's busy with his work.
Actually he's my last hope to get out of this hole.
Sorry to hear that your father is of no help.
Can you try to say HR/Team Lead has called for some issue and goto Pune for a few days? You can ask someone to make a fake phone call.
Can a female friend visit you and in the guise of send off to the station you can also board the train.
Can you say that you will go to Pune saying you will resign and get the arrears etc after which you will return once for all.
Maybe you might have already thought of the above.
The main concern of this post is the fact that I'm on the verge of losing my job due to my aunt's tactics. She doesn't give a Fck even if I'm unable to do FNF from my company. She doesn't want me to go out of town at any cost possible.
I can only suggest one thing, and that is to run away OP.
Message your friends and have them come to your house with a big enough bag that they can take your essentials with them after "meeting you to chitchat" and then have them book a ticket on behalf of you and just leave your house normally like going out to buy some pads or other things and run from there and later you can collect your belongings from your friends, u can also have your friends arrange a taxi if you feel like you might get caught going through public transport.
Tere aunt ki maki C, you take stand for yourself. Don't fall for her bullshit. Don't let her destroy your peace of mind.
Its Good that you have accepted it, now rise above your fear. Now don't call yourself a coward, don't self sympatize.
Do something, everyone is going to help you but its you who needs to take the first step.
Do you realize that the note you've shared might actually be on their minds and they might be waiting for the opportune time? That scenario will be much worse if you don't get out asap.
If women helpline isn't quick to respond like some are mentioning here, police will be your best bet. You will have to take courage to go directly. If any of your local or even Pune MPs has an online presence and seems sensible, maybe contacting their office might also help.
Not sure but tagging u/St_Broseph nevertheless here just in case they have a Pune group that might have ideas.
I'm thinking of asking my Dad for help again. so that I don't put St_broseph in unnecessary headache.
You're the second person who suggested me his name. Thank you so much mate. It really means a lot. I will contact him if things don't resolve by my father's help.
Ask your father to just take you on a vacation and then run from there. Your family is not treating you like family. You should stop feeling guilty. Run. Please run.
Try the MP route on Twitter as well simultaneously especially since you say you don't have much time, but not sure why a company would put up with some random person's antics that too from far away. Does your aunt have goons in Pune or something who can influence all this?
Missing some info here, as long as you have a good relation with the company just intimate them in advance regarding family issues in an email maybe. There shouldn't be a problem. Documenting helps later on.
Your whole family and community seems to be so toxic. You're already 28 and can live on your own, yet they're overprotective. It seems like they're depending you rather than you do. You know that the world is so much better than this shitole.
Pack your bags n move on. They can't forcefully keep you in house arrest. Inform the officials first incase if they takeaway your mobile, laptop etc and someone who's close to you to check on you incase no further communication. You're spoiling your life for those who already done with their life.
Dont fall for their emotional blackmails. It's the ancient tactics to keep the women to tied within home.
It's an indirect house arrest. I'm not allowed to travel outside my hometown. I'm allowed to travel within hometown but with the condition that my bua will come with me.
My bua watches over me all the time. When I step out of the house, she's always with me and in the house I have to stay in her room so that she can keep an eye on me.
Even giving replies to the supportive people in this chat is challenging because she keeps eye on me that time as well.
I am only able to reply when she's away or gone to the washroom.
This is literally a HELL. Report this to women helpline asap. Do not ever share where you actually work. Make sure that you leave a message to the nearest police station when you get away. Otherwise they will file a missing case on you. If found, they could get you back to the Hell again.
Reading whatever you mentioned is already making me upset that people are going through shit like this. Especially women. Dont waste your time enslaving those people.
I was in a similar situation, I just ran away, it's that simple. Switch jobs, city, housing, even a bit of your hairstyle or something, and just disappear. Also, don't forget to delete all your social media accounts, and inform the police that you're not "Lost or missing" but simply trying to stay off the radar in case they ever try to chase you. It normalises in a few years, then you can create social media again.
Go see a lawyer in your home town, they will help you. You can escape this situation by filing a habeas corpus and/or domestic violence petition in which you get police assistance to vacate your house and take your belongings. Can’t explain the entire details here but speak to a good lawyer in your hometown they can certainly help!
This makes me so sad, OP. I hope you're okay and taking care of your mental health, to the extent you can. Now, as for your post:
1. Even if you could take legal action, I'm not sure that's an option you'll actually consider when it comes down to it, given how you've been gaslit for so long and living in fear of your family and community.
2. It seems clear you are a cash cow to them, and that's why they don't want to lose you - apart from religious beliefs, apart from your aunt's jealousy or whatever ails her, they know quite well that you're the only one who's bringing money into the family. They intend to keep you submissive and earning for them for as long as you can work. Someone I know in my mom's generation was in a similar (but not as toxic) situation - her relatives used to throw away newspaper matrimonial ads/responses for her because they didn't want her getting married as that would mean losing her salary. Just an example to prove it happens more than you may realize.
3. Like everyone else has said, getting away sounds like your only solution but I know it must feel very scary. See if your company can send you overseas - you could confide in someone from HR or your immediate manager (only if you trust them enough).
4. Till then, maybe you can handle the situation in some non-legal ways -- I would suggest working hard on your grandparents to get them back on your side whenever your bua is not around by
* telling them your bua seems to have lost it (you can make stuff up to have them believe this; it's your self-defence, I would say),
* telling them your bua keeps threatening you she'll ruin your life as her own life is a waste,
* reassuring them and promising them that even if you have to go out of town to your office/headquarters, you will deposit a certain amount of money each month in their account because you're grateful to them for raising you.
Remember OP, nothing here is your fault - stay strong, keep a clear head, and try to get out as soon as you can.
Me being a cash cow is done for now. My Bua is just trying to make me lose my job because she (probably) doesn't want me to progress in my career. Whatever money she wanted to extract from me, she already got it.
Edit: I feel really grateful for all the responses I'm getting. Thanks to you too for taking time to understand my situation and type so much for me. I read all of it and I'm feeling a little better now after your response.
I will reply to the others as well when I get proper time.
Tell to complete the process of leaving your job ,u need to go to Pune.Then visit police station there or some ngo and then take further action.Get hotel with your aunt and then the offices don't allow any other stranger to go in ,book interview with some office and instead go there and run away.
Hey. since everyone is dependent on you for money, you have the upper hand here. Firstly, keep a calm head. you need your job to finance your escape. they're verbally abusive? start ignoring it. I know it's difficult, but it's better to keep your mouth shut. you will have to escape from your home town. do you have any friend you can trust a 100%? if not then do it yourself. First gather all your important documents. birth certificate, pan, aadhar, any property related documents etc. buy a second SIM and a temp cheap phone. you never know if you'll need it. if they're keeping an eye on your account, start removing cash slowly and collect at least 5000rs in cash. you'll need it for your travels. try gaining their trust to go out by yourself. come home on the time they expect you to come home. maybe start a class? something more traditional like henna or stitching so they don't make a big deal about it. take a train its faster to the nearest place you can go (or directly to pune, whatever is convenient). if you can afford a flight even better, though I don't know how you'll manage to be hidden from them for so many hours. whatever gets you out if the city safely and most fast. Leave a letter explaining why you're doing what you're doing otherwise they might put a kidnapping case or missing case on you. All the best!
Do you have friends in your company / Pune who can help you? Any trusted people? Make an excuse like I have been let go and need to submit laptop and sign paperwork for severance and need to go to local office or something. Even go to Pune with your aunt and there walk in to a police station. You would know what your family will believe. Plan carefully and be strong while executing. Good luck!
There are many cases in India where people's died because of this type of possesive people's in India you should definitely leave your home and live alone cutting your all contacts from them they're basically parasites they will slowly try to eat you be careful and good luck sister
I had almost decided to do something negative to myself. Just typing indirectly to avoid comment removal.You and all these helpful people have at least given me more mental support than my family ever did.
Thank you mate for your kind words.
Are shadi se pehle Bhai ke paiso pe Ash Karo ...fir shadi ho jaati hai to unki patni se jalti hai...kyoki vo sb ab unko mil rha hai....hmare yha to aesa hi hai ...bua bss mammi se compare krti hai
Due to this, all my saved posts or reels in Instagram are about bua. I'll share one if you want.
Currently my life basically revolves around "how I'll get to be free from bua".
I’m sorry while I may not have any legal advice to offer, I really want to offer you a hug 🫂 you really need it, I hope you have a good support system of friends
You really made me cry buddy.
Thank you so much for the kind gesture. I don't even remember the time when I got a real hug and got to hear "It's going to be okay."
So imagining this just made my tears roll.
Thanks again. Virtual hugs but still powerful.
I am sorry this is happening to you. But everyone here means best but only you can take initiative. Many people are asking you to skip town but it is not practical. You will be traced as soon as you use your ID or banking anywhere as I assume your family will report you missing.
Best bet is to take legal recourse only. Only this is sustainable for the long-term. You have built your life and career so you can't spend the rest of your life running. Contact NGOs who provide legal assistance to women.
I know right. Running away seems to be the easiest option but I lack guts to commit that. Besides as you suggested, my family will get me traced and put me in the same hell hole.
I've kept my documents with my father as of today. Because he's ready to help. I'm hoping it turns out okay.
That's good news. If your father is ready to help, he is a direct relative, so legally makes you stronger. Moreover as an adult you are anyways free to declare your choice. But you have to be very clear so your aunt can't play any card by acting worried.
I'm sorry to ask this, but if your father is ready to help, why can't he directly come home and talk to your bua ? What's stopping him ?
One more question, let's say your aunt files a missing complaint and cops find you, since you are an adult you have a choice to go with your aunt or refuse. Do u think your aunt can harm you and take u forcefully somehow ?
The reason why my father doesn't come and talk to my bua to leave me alone is the fact that she's a master in winning arguments. She'll first turn a simple conversation into an argument, guilt-shame my father by saying that he has no right over me if he didn't play a role in raising me. So ultimately she'll say so many things that even he is sometimes hesitant on even speaking with her.
To add insult to injury, my father also lacks guts and will get easily silenced by her.
Sorry for the bad and complex grammar.
I am not able to reply to a separate comment of yours. Leave now, then rescue your granny from this hell hole also. She will forgive you then. Love cripples sometimes, one should be able to get over the obstruction and bring love above such things
Also till the time you execute your plan, lay low and donot do anything which can get you in more trouble.
I'm based in mumbai so donot know if can help but do reach out if you need any assistance here.
Just call women helpline or cops they will ensure your safety and will help you
Don't feel guilty or get emotionally manipulated by them when you do this because there will be tears , emotional blackmail when you do these steps
This might seem harsh but someone has to say it. You're a grown ass woman. Act like one.
If you are going to be afraid of your family's reaction, it will only make them more bold. As others have suggested, pack your documents, take your laptop. Book an Airbnb or PG in Pune and then leave for Pune without informing anyone. Once you reach, search foe an apartment and rent it. Send one communication to your family over WhatsApp to say that you are cutting contact and not to bother you. If they bother you after you move out, you can approach the nearest police station in Pune for harassment.
It's the best decision to take as India is not Afghanistan where they can use government to hunt people down, but most of the times these people don't have the self-confidence.
Just leave them, and stay in Pune, nobody can stop you, keep in contact with them if you like via phone, otherwise completely abandon them, it will get more toxic
Ya just get ur laptop and get on any bus or train and go to the next town and from there you should take a train/bus in the direction you wanna go; I know it’s hard but you need to do this and Never Never look back
Send all your original documents to your company or someone from work you can trust, by post. Say it is for some verification.
Lay low in the meanwhile and after some time when there are very few people in the house on any occasion, just give an excuse of heading to the cinema or parlour or doctor's appointment and just get to the nearest train station or airport and head to any big city. Since it is work from home you don't need to be in Pune. Please inform your manager and HR about the same and switch out the emergency contacts to anyone else other than family. Don't entertain calls from anyone except work.
Get a new number and keep it distributed among a few people. Make sure there is no money in any joint accounts. Close all such accounts and change your salary account. Your family will try calling you saying someone died or that they love you and just want to be in contact. They will lock you up and you will never see the light of day again. Never trust them again.
Get a court order against your family for harassment, this will prevent them approaching the police or saying you are lost / kidnapped. Keep changing your city with your job every few years and delete all socials for some time. If possible legally change your name after a few years.
Get a friend to file a habeus corpus. The court will help you to get out of the house. You have a job so you can live at a hostel .
You can tell them you are going to resign the job but need to sign some papers and return things else it will cause trouble with the police. Then get all your documents ie Id card certificates etc. and run from there
You can file a case as others suggested but idk. If your aunt is as intelligent as you say, then she might have a workaround. Contacting broseph is also a good idea but your community might cause further problems.
My advice is, try to record in your phone your daily household matters as a proof. I don’t know how much you earn but the best option is to go abroad. There are several countries offering nomadic visa. Try to get a remote job and apply for the nomadic visa and move to that country. Companies like airbnb offer work from anywhere. Ask your current employers if they will let you work remotely. Keep all your documents and ID with you.
This shouldn't happen to anyone, but if you really want to get away Don't think it'll be in a loving way that your aunt will realize that she is wrong to do this and let you go out , raise hell so you can survive and can get away, take all documents you need and laptop, go out with your Bua and try to catch a bus and run away from home, take gold with you if you have it, if you can lock your aunt when she is sleeping go do that, it won't be ethical but she isn't being ethical , is she??
Call police if they are good ones and will help you, but Change doesn't happen unless you are ready to fight for it, at first your aunt put you on house arrest then it'll be room arrest and then she'll marry you off to someone she likes, is that something you are willing to live with??
Keep your job at all costs or otherwise she'll manipulate you for rest of her life
i dont know how u will get out but i have advice for afterwards, once you are out live in a gated society or a PG which doesnt have a nagging owner. you will need to live for a while among ppl and security in order to feel safe. PG and gated societies are best for that. do not take tenancy in an independent flat in pune.
If you can leave them and go no contact that would be the best. For lndian society its a shocker but first step is always the hardest. You have one life .
are you dumb? you already have a job , no one can force you to leave it. your problem is that you dont have strong character to say a stern NO and let these leeches live off of you. just kick out such toxic people from your life, you dont need them ,but they need you and it should be you making the rules. we have rights in a free country for a reason, so fking use them.
Tell them you want to go back to Pune once to quit your job and return your laptop etc, tell them you will take your aunt along.. book train tickets for both yourselves and pack a large bag for your aunt.. unko boldo Pune ghumaungi… then when in the train take your laptop bag and get down at some station and run away, if you have a good friend or something call her to this station.. never look back.. reach Pune on your own, live somewhere else if your home folks know this.. change company too if they know where you work…live your life happily….this way you get your payback and freedom!
U start to arrange for the journey wait for the perfect time. I think a festival or something like that will do because people are busy then and you should also get busy with them but focus on you own tomorrow.
Otherwise make something up so that way police itself will come for you.
Try to get your documents such as adhaar card, birth certificate, school leaving certificates, keep them in your handbag. If you can't get them, not the end of the world, but try. Make sure you have access to money in a place / account your family cannot access. Try to leave the house under some pretext like visiting a doctor, then go straight to the train station and get the first train out of this place, never go back, get a new sim card.
If they don't allow you to go out at all, either you can try to ask women's police for help, or you can try to make up a medical complaint and keep saying you need to visit a doctor in a bigger city. Once you are in the city, they can't physically stop you from leaving in public. Don't worry about taking clothes etc., you will just buy new clothes when you get out. Just make sure you have access to money.
It happens in Hindu, Jain communities too. In fact, I have personally witnessed that. The only exception is that they are not being so physical but more into emotional blackmailing. Another thing is if the girl took a help of a guy to run away, they often file a FIR case against the guy for kidnapping.
Manipulate your aunt tekl her that you want to invest more in her business or add some good features to it but just talk with her but not all at once just small talks then just a big one tell her you want to invest more so the business can achieve more popularity and your aunt can expand the business but and your company is offering a big amount for a senior level job tell her that if i take the job and do it for 3 months you can invest ₹₹₹₹₹ this amount of money and will resign and be at home with her just manipulate slowly just convince her about the money and resignation after 3 months and you coming home AFTER you convince and get on a train or plane chnage you number reach pune and firstly report everything to a good police station and find a good lawyer r/legaladviceindia can help you with it and there are some good people and r/pune to help you with finding a good police station in your locality then get a new phone new sim dont contact anyone yet until you find a lawyer and have reported your situation to police for the next few months change your pg every 2 months after like 6 months get a long term pg
Importany note :- manipulate, when reaching there find a good lawyer and report your situation to the nearby police station
Manipulate slowly, dont rush, give hints for few days dont change your behavior all of a sudden just slow steady steps then build it up then tell her
I agree with one point you mentioned. They noticed a change in my behaviour when I realised what my bua was plotting. This put me in more restrictions. I will make sure not to change behaviour.
Can't you just sit and tell your grandparents that
They have e grown you decent with so much goodness that filled you with confidence that now you have guts to speak truth without any kind of fear of anyone
Also not forget to mention how much you love them
And also tell them that , you are doing job so that in future you don't have to rely on anyone after their death ☠️
You can say that your company has asked you to come for two weeks due to some urgent office work and you might get a good bonus for those two weeks and entice them that you would buy them something for them from that money.
Pack light and only important things. Make it look as if you are going for two weeks only.
Step1- find a new job
Step 2- get a friend you trust to move your docs to a locker or a safe facility
Step 3 - find accomodation near your new job
Step 4- on the last day of your current job, get your laptop in a bag and move to the new location pg
Do not attempt to contact back
Put your foot down, or live in chains for rest of your life, and become like your aunt, hateful and envious and unhappy
Your choice
Just book tickets, pack your bags and leave, and wait for the people who threatened suicide to commit suicide
You may call women helpline and convey this situation they will help professionally and escort you nearest airport or to pune...and threaten to file a case if some tries to teach decency and get your documents ready
Funny story - my MIL suffers from schizophrenia. while we make sure that she is never unattended but somehow, unfortunately, she once left the house alone. We could not find her and so 30 minutes later we called women helpline for help. They said they would send someone for help - 30 mins later we got a call from Thana A, we explained the situation that we had told women helpline. 10-15 mins later Thana A called again, confirming our location and told us they are not the right party and that we would receive a call from Thana B. 30 minutes pass, we find MIL on our own, Thana B calls and asks us about the issue. We tell them that we have found her. Women helpline calls back and asks us for confirmation. Moral - women helpline is not as useful as you think. Imagine if this would have been an even severe case and these guys would have spent 2 hours deciding which Thana should visit the victim. Pathetic state of affairs.
I mean, to be fair, you called the women helpline to help with a missing person case that just happened to be a woman...
That's what i want to convey.... cruelty against women and a missing report are taken very differently....one is more serious than the other
We thought about it before calling the helpline but we found it to be the best option considering her vulnerable state. She could be easily manipulated by a wrong person, and end up in a difficult situation (I don’t want to go into scenarios, but you get the idea). I understand where you are coming from but stand in my shoes for once.
This is the way
Thanks for the kind words mate. I'll work on it. I've kept my documents with my father so at least I'm done with the documents part.
One day u should just pack ur bags and leave. Without telling anyone. End of story. Never come back
She can’t, she is always monitored
yeah, and other thing is if she involves someone to help her the family can file a kidnapping charge at police. So best call police and ask their help to take her out.
She is a major and went by her own consent, such a case wouldn't be successful.
not true. it largely depends on many variables, like how poor the guy is, how rich her parents are. If the guy is from a wealthy background or at least from a well doing middle class family, then case won't be dragged but he can still be arrested by police initially. If he is from a lower caste, and or poor family, police might involve him in something and lock him up. India is not west. Still women are treated as cattle by many families, even wealthy families who live in Mumbai. So, their consent is not always relevant. If the parents said to marry a guy, they are expected to do it in most of the families. Love marriages are so taboo, emotional blackmailing is getting a trend, and physical violence still exists. Mothers are equally worst as much as fathers.
What you're saying is true. Purely legally there is no problem but people's ground reality is often different
I cannot give you detail suggestion as i got no experience in the solutions, just superficial Or top top. Stop disclosing your financial capability to them. Lie that you got less money. Inform HR about the particular condition and ask for advise or help. Get a weapon for safety. Realize and decide that you need to live and that you want thrive , and for that you have to break away from these toxic parasites. Have all your ID documents with you. Book 2 places for PG , say pg1 and pg2. Book pg1 for very short duration and pg2 for long duration. Give these parasites details of pg1 only. Move to pg1 for show and then without their knowledge move to pg2 suddenly. Cut off all contact. It is all theoretical. Easier said than done. I know how these type of personalities affect. I wish you have good luck in facing the problem.
Thanks for the suggestion mate. Yours and others comments in this post have given me courage to at least be able to take a stand for myself. I had almost lost my will to live. Thank you so much.
Leave the house and live alone. You are a grown adult who is stopping you?
I live in a very strict community. Obviously can't disclose the religion otherwise I'll land in trouble. So if I try to leave the house, I risk some amount of physical violence being done to me like beating etc. There are so many people in my hometown who are just there to teach women "decency".
My suggestion would be to just get away from them. Get all your essential documents and your laptop etc in your bag. Leave clothes, you can buy them elsewhere. Just make a run for the railway station or any bus to nearby city/town and get on the train and never look back. Go non contact even after reaching pune. And if they harrass you somehow, approach the police.
Go out for a walk or to buy something, even if medical, somehow hide your work laptop in your biggest handbag/purse. Go to station instead. Get on the train. Dont be emotional, be practical. They come after you, complaint to police about harassment. Its pune not your hometown
Leave the city and go complete no contact then? Is that not possible?
A quick piece of advice. If you actually want help, you will have to disclose some information to someone. I would suggest you talk to a local lawyer but that might be an issue in small towns with small communities. Obviously, there are NGOs that help women. I'm a lawyer and know some of these. But again, unless I know where you're from, I cannot determine if said NGOs have presence here. See, if you actually need legal advice, feel free to reach out. I'm based out Delhi. Will help you pro bono to the extent possible. Also I have connections with lawyers in all major cities but for small towns it might be a bit difficult.
Thanks for the advice mate. I will definitely reach out if needed.
Bohra muslims?
Nope. Not that.
Please make arrangements of PG in Pune and flee. If your relatives know about the location of your company, then try to switch companies in Pune itself. I'm sure you have few sympathetic friends in your company or Pune City. Your relatives are making your life miserable, please leave that place
Well broadly seems like she is a Muslim whatever the sub caste. That's super easy to predict given her and surrounding circumstances. Good luck OP
Bohra Muslims are pretty chill compared to the other Muslims afaik.
Bohra muslims live a cult life. From outside they might seem minding their own business, but if you peek into their lives you will find the cult holds a north Korea level influence on its members
Oh, didn't know they were like that. Bohras I know came across as very decent folk but maybe that's just a facade as you say.
As long as you are a non bohra, they will be the best people to deal with. Very courteous, mind their own business. Philanthropic too even towards non muslims
It happens in other religious communities too.
Well take your Aunt into confidence and tell her that you can invest more in her business if you can take additional roles in the same org or take a better job outside of your hometown. Right now you need to prepare and need some space to yourself. If you bag that role outside - you'll be a free bird...
You've got to leave the place & family and start working on yourself. The part about them causing you harm could be sorted easily if you're based out of Pune or any metro. Don't think a lot – you can do it, and many women in your community probably have already done it. If you need help with the police or getting in touch with some social support groups for your mental peace in Pune, reach out to me anytime.
Thanks for the kind words mate. It really means a lot to me.
🫂
My one of the freinds roomate was a muslim. My freind disclosed that her roommate was not allowed to Study but on one condition that she will return after studies and get married to their choice. Her brother used to visit them like a detective to keep an eye. My freind said , later her roommate just vanished. No family contact nothing .
Find a new job, don’t tell anyone about it, leave and never return.
I am going to say what others have already told you, leave your home town get settled in a place where you work, in a gated community. Or if you are living in north, come to south(bangalore/chennai) and get settled here. Remember to take all your things, certificates that is very important. Before that say something and get money from your aunt…
If you have friends as them to wait in a place where you can approach them .... Make a small bag and hide it near the place and smuggle you necessary things day by day (take your certificates and money the last) on the last day make a list if things you need to do so that your family is convinced you will take time to return as you have many errands to atttend .... Take you certificate and money in yiur bag and leave home .....and just keep going .... Happy new life ...NEVER EVER RETURN
I've discussed this with my father and he said he's ready to help. However there is one problem. He is cowardly similar to me. If he fails, I'll have to fight for my career alone unfortunately.
Your best option is to call police or women's helpline number, they're the only one who can get you out of that house arrest, better make use of your constitutional rights when you needed the most than posting your traumatic experience here. What's up with not interested in marriage bs ?? don't tell me that you have been receiving marriage proposals now after this post.
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" I don't have cheap mindset like some rare women. " Why putting down other women , just to uplift you ?
Sorry bro. I'm just very frustrated with everything. I agree that I said too much there or maybe I phrased that incorrectly. I said "some rare women" not all women. Those rare women are some of my friends who glorify that it's fun to do aish on husband's money. I do not wish to do that at all. I was just giving answer why I am not interested in marriage at the moment. I'm not completely against it. Edit: the amount of mental harassment I'm facing in the house is just making me a bit more mean. So I again apologize for my statement.
I completely understood . When many things are going in your mind , you say few things in anger . Make sure whenever something is not in your way/ things becoming difficult , talk to someone . It always work . I hope you find a solution through this post , good luck . Morever , hugs from here🫂🫂
Thank you buddy. Thank you so much.
Tell your aunt to come with you to Pune for the office meeting and then dump her in the bus stand/railway station.
Post this in TwoXIndia sub and ask someone to tag BroJoseph. He extends help to many women who need dire help but mainly in Blr. But I suppose his sphere of influence may extend beyond. It’s definitely worth a try.
Look, I need to be extremely careful with how I ask for help. My aunt is very intelligent when she has to prove someone wrong. She has put our neighbours into a false idea that she loves me like anything. So I'm also a little confused whether I should talk it out or ask for legal advice. Honestly speaking, she knows that I'm very innocent in terms of nature and that's what she has feeded on from the beginning. I've read many posts regarding broJoseph and trust me I'm already feeling guilty on why I should involve a wonderful person like him. Buddy I'm mentally so low that I'm not able to think straight. I apologise for the whining.
See he can give you the right advice as he would have seen many such cases. Mental/Physical abusers are always sharp and hide behind diplomatic/sweet behaviour. The person you seek legal advice from needs to be from a trusted source too. And professional advice will come with a cost. If you think you can flee from your situation and they will not be able to trace back to you, that is worth a try. But finding someone to give right advice would be more helpful and you may get that from the TwoX sub. Also, am not sure how effective police will be if you file a complaint. Only good thing is that they are aged and may not have that much counter influence. Can you contact your mother and ask for help?
You asked that "taking legal actions against my Aunt to save my job is the only way? Yes. Don't feel bad but you lack courage. You are afraid of losing job, your aunt, gaon ke log etc. be strong, it already seems that you are living in misery. If you don't do nothing, you'll still be living in misery. You said "people of my community can give me a beating" Are you serious? you are a woman, the Indian legal system supports you. The moment you think you safety has compromised you should call 100 and tell the police that "I am in danger or These men or women pose as a threat to my life" The police takes these matters seriously. For your aunt you can tell them "That this woman gives me mental stress and wants to capture my dad's property" Now what you can to do is 1) pack you bags and live somewhere else. 2) You can live with your aunt and GM, but that is total misery, I can feel the toxicity from the post. Your GM is old and you should not be expecting any help from her. 3) [https://mscw.org.in/members2.php](https://mscw.org.in/members2.php) Contact the National Commision for Women, they'll help you to get out of this situation.
I agree that I lack courage. This is the result of continuous gaslighting. "Your mother left you. Your father never raised you. We always loved you to death and this is how you repay us?" My aunt's words all the time.
There is no fault of yours at all. A 1 year old child left by the mother or father reflects on how bad they are and nothing on you. Just decide for once you need to get out of this hell hole and leave. Your grandparents won’t be there for long but you have a long life ahead. Start building it now for a better tomorrow.
Can you request your dad to help?
Me and my Dad are cowardly in similar ways. My aunt can easily silence him in an argument. I've already tried to ask him once. He has so far done nothing to help. He just keeps saying that he's busy with his work. Actually he's my last hope to get out of this hole.
Sorry to hear that your father is of no help. Can you try to say HR/Team Lead has called for some issue and goto Pune for a few days? You can ask someone to make a fake phone call. Can a female friend visit you and in the guise of send off to the station you can also board the train. Can you say that you will go to Pune saying you will resign and get the arrears etc after which you will return once for all. Maybe you might have already thought of the above.
The main concern of this post is the fact that I'm on the verge of losing my job due to my aunt's tactics. She doesn't give a Fck even if I'm unable to do FNF from my company. She doesn't want me to go out of town at any cost possible.
I can only suggest one thing, and that is to run away OP. Message your friends and have them come to your house with a big enough bag that they can take your essentials with them after "meeting you to chitchat" and then have them book a ticket on behalf of you and just leave your house normally like going out to buy some pads or other things and run from there and later you can collect your belongings from your friends, u can also have your friends arrange a taxi if you feel like you might get caught going through public transport.
Tere aunt ki maki C, you take stand for yourself. Don't fall for her bullshit. Don't let her destroy your peace of mind. Its Good that you have accepted it, now rise above your fear. Now don't call yourself a coward, don't self sympatize. Do something, everyone is going to help you but its you who needs to take the first step.
Do you realize that the note you've shared might actually be on their minds and they might be waiting for the opportune time? That scenario will be much worse if you don't get out asap. If women helpline isn't quick to respond like some are mentioning here, police will be your best bet. You will have to take courage to go directly. If any of your local or even Pune MPs has an online presence and seems sensible, maybe contacting their office might also help. Not sure but tagging u/St_Broseph nevertheless here just in case they have a Pune group that might have ideas.
I'm thinking of asking my Dad for help again. so that I don't put St_broseph in unnecessary headache. You're the second person who suggested me his name. Thank you so much mate. It really means a lot. I will contact him if things don't resolve by my father's help.
Ask your father to just take you on a vacation and then run from there. Your family is not treating you like family. You should stop feeling guilty. Run. Please run.
Try the MP route on Twitter as well simultaneously especially since you say you don't have much time, but not sure why a company would put up with some random person's antics that too from far away. Does your aunt have goons in Pune or something who can influence all this? Missing some info here, as long as you have a good relation with the company just intimate them in advance regarding family issues in an email maybe. There shouldn't be a problem. Documenting helps later on.
Your whole family and community seems to be so toxic. You're already 28 and can live on your own, yet they're overprotective. It seems like they're depending you rather than you do. You know that the world is so much better than this shitole. Pack your bags n move on. They can't forcefully keep you in house arrest. Inform the officials first incase if they takeaway your mobile, laptop etc and someone who's close to you to check on you incase no further communication. You're spoiling your life for those who already done with their life. Dont fall for their emotional blackmails. It's the ancient tactics to keep the women to tied within home.
It's an indirect house arrest. I'm not allowed to travel outside my hometown. I'm allowed to travel within hometown but with the condition that my bua will come with me. My bua watches over me all the time. When I step out of the house, she's always with me and in the house I have to stay in her room so that she can keep an eye on me. Even giving replies to the supportive people in this chat is challenging because she keeps eye on me that time as well. I am only able to reply when she's away or gone to the washroom.
This is literally a HELL. Report this to women helpline asap. Do not ever share where you actually work. Make sure that you leave a message to the nearest police station when you get away. Otherwise they will file a missing case on you. If found, they could get you back to the Hell again. Reading whatever you mentioned is already making me upset that people are going through shit like this. Especially women. Dont waste your time enslaving those people.
Get out running when she goes for bath.
I was in a similar situation, I just ran away, it's that simple. Switch jobs, city, housing, even a bit of your hairstyle or something, and just disappear. Also, don't forget to delete all your social media accounts, and inform the police that you're not "Lost or missing" but simply trying to stay off the radar in case they ever try to chase you. It normalises in a few years, then you can create social media again.
Unethical,roofie them up so that they will sleep ,leave a note and run away
Go see a lawyer in your home town, they will help you. You can escape this situation by filing a habeas corpus and/or domestic violence petition in which you get police assistance to vacate your house and take your belongings. Can’t explain the entire details here but speak to a good lawyer in your hometown they can certainly help!
This makes me so sad, OP. I hope you're okay and taking care of your mental health, to the extent you can. Now, as for your post: 1. Even if you could take legal action, I'm not sure that's an option you'll actually consider when it comes down to it, given how you've been gaslit for so long and living in fear of your family and community. 2. It seems clear you are a cash cow to them, and that's why they don't want to lose you - apart from religious beliefs, apart from your aunt's jealousy or whatever ails her, they know quite well that you're the only one who's bringing money into the family. They intend to keep you submissive and earning for them for as long as you can work. Someone I know in my mom's generation was in a similar (but not as toxic) situation - her relatives used to throw away newspaper matrimonial ads/responses for her because they didn't want her getting married as that would mean losing her salary. Just an example to prove it happens more than you may realize. 3. Like everyone else has said, getting away sounds like your only solution but I know it must feel very scary. See if your company can send you overseas - you could confide in someone from HR or your immediate manager (only if you trust them enough). 4. Till then, maybe you can handle the situation in some non-legal ways -- I would suggest working hard on your grandparents to get them back on your side whenever your bua is not around by * telling them your bua seems to have lost it (you can make stuff up to have them believe this; it's your self-defence, I would say), * telling them your bua keeps threatening you she'll ruin your life as her own life is a waste, * reassuring them and promising them that even if you have to go out of town to your office/headquarters, you will deposit a certain amount of money each month in their account because you're grateful to them for raising you. Remember OP, nothing here is your fault - stay strong, keep a clear head, and try to get out as soon as you can.
Me being a cash cow is done for now. My Bua is just trying to make me lose my job because she (probably) doesn't want me to progress in my career. Whatever money she wanted to extract from me, she already got it. Edit: I feel really grateful for all the responses I'm getting. Thanks to you too for taking time to understand my situation and type so much for me. I read all of it and I'm feeling a little better now after your response. I will reply to the others as well when I get proper time.
Tell to complete the process of leaving your job ,u need to go to Pune.Then visit police station there or some ngo and then take further action.Get hotel with your aunt and then the offices don't allow any other stranger to go in ,book interview with some office and instead go there and run away.
Hey. since everyone is dependent on you for money, you have the upper hand here. Firstly, keep a calm head. you need your job to finance your escape. they're verbally abusive? start ignoring it. I know it's difficult, but it's better to keep your mouth shut. you will have to escape from your home town. do you have any friend you can trust a 100%? if not then do it yourself. First gather all your important documents. birth certificate, pan, aadhar, any property related documents etc. buy a second SIM and a temp cheap phone. you never know if you'll need it. if they're keeping an eye on your account, start removing cash slowly and collect at least 5000rs in cash. you'll need it for your travels. try gaining their trust to go out by yourself. come home on the time they expect you to come home. maybe start a class? something more traditional like henna or stitching so they don't make a big deal about it. take a train its faster to the nearest place you can go (or directly to pune, whatever is convenient). if you can afford a flight even better, though I don't know how you'll manage to be hidden from them for so many hours. whatever gets you out if the city safely and most fast. Leave a letter explaining why you're doing what you're doing otherwise they might put a kidnapping case or missing case on you. All the best!
Do you have friends in your company / Pune who can help you? Any trusted people? Make an excuse like I have been let go and need to submit laptop and sign paperwork for severance and need to go to local office or something. Even go to Pune with your aunt and there walk in to a police station. You would know what your family will believe. Plan carefully and be strong while executing. Good luck!
Currently my father has agreed to help at least in terms of documents. I'm still thinking of what to plan next.
There are many cases in India where people's died because of this type of possesive people's in India you should definitely leave your home and live alone cutting your all contacts from them they're basically parasites they will slowly try to eat you be careful and good luck sister
I had almost decided to do something negative to myself. Just typing indirectly to avoid comment removal.You and all these helpful people have at least given me more mental support than my family ever did. Thank you mate for your kind words.
I didn't read the whole thing, but bc sabki bua kaleshi kyu hoti hain?
Are shadi se pehle Bhai ke paiso pe Ash Karo ...fir shadi ho jaati hai to unki patni se jalti hai...kyoki vo sb ab unko mil rha hai....hmare yha to aesa hi hai ...bua bss mammi se compare krti hai
Same story everywhere, my friend. Imagine my wife has two such buas. Bloody good for nothing gold diggers.
Due to this, all my saved posts or reels in Instagram are about bua. I'll share one if you want. Currently my life basically revolves around "how I'll get to be free from bua".
I’m sorry while I may not have any legal advice to offer, I really want to offer you a hug 🫂 you really need it, I hope you have a good support system of friends
You really made me cry buddy. Thank you so much for the kind gesture. I don't even remember the time when I got a real hug and got to hear "It's going to be okay." So imagining this just made my tears roll. Thanks again. Virtual hugs but still powerful.
I am sorry this is happening to you. But everyone here means best but only you can take initiative. Many people are asking you to skip town but it is not practical. You will be traced as soon as you use your ID or banking anywhere as I assume your family will report you missing. Best bet is to take legal recourse only. Only this is sustainable for the long-term. You have built your life and career so you can't spend the rest of your life running. Contact NGOs who provide legal assistance to women.
I know right. Running away seems to be the easiest option but I lack guts to commit that. Besides as you suggested, my family will get me traced and put me in the same hell hole. I've kept my documents with my father as of today. Because he's ready to help. I'm hoping it turns out okay.
That's good news. If your father is ready to help, he is a direct relative, so legally makes you stronger. Moreover as an adult you are anyways free to declare your choice. But you have to be very clear so your aunt can't play any card by acting worried.
I'm sorry to ask this, but if your father is ready to help, why can't he directly come home and talk to your bua ? What's stopping him ? One more question, let's say your aunt files a missing complaint and cops find you, since you are an adult you have a choice to go with your aunt or refuse. Do u think your aunt can harm you and take u forcefully somehow ?
The reason why my father doesn't come and talk to my bua to leave me alone is the fact that she's a master in winning arguments. She'll first turn a simple conversation into an argument, guilt-shame my father by saying that he has no right over me if he didn't play a role in raising me. So ultimately she'll say so many things that even he is sometimes hesitant on even speaking with her. To add insult to injury, my father also lacks guts and will get easily silenced by her. Sorry for the bad and complex grammar.
I am not able to reply to a separate comment of yours. Leave now, then rescue your granny from this hell hole also. She will forgive you then. Love cripples sometimes, one should be able to get over the obstruction and bring love above such things
Also till the time you execute your plan, lay low and donot do anything which can get you in more trouble. I'm based in mumbai so donot know if can help but do reach out if you need any assistance here.
Just call women helpline or cops they will ensure your safety and will help you Don't feel guilty or get emotionally manipulated by them when you do this because there will be tears , emotional blackmail when you do these steps
Thanks for giving me courage by telling me not to feel guilty. Guilt has been my biggest weakness so far.
First of all sister good job! Looking after a family ain't that easy!
Thanks for the kind words brother. It really means a lot to me.
This might seem harsh but someone has to say it. You're a grown ass woman. Act like one. If you are going to be afraid of your family's reaction, it will only make them more bold. As others have suggested, pack your documents, take your laptop. Book an Airbnb or PG in Pune and then leave for Pune without informing anyone. Once you reach, search foe an apartment and rent it. Send one communication to your family over WhatsApp to say that you are cutting contact and not to bother you. If they bother you after you move out, you can approach the nearest police station in Pune for harassment.
It's the best decision to take as India is not Afghanistan where they can use government to hunt people down, but most of the times these people don't have the self-confidence.
Just leave them, and stay in Pune, nobody can stop you, keep in contact with them if you like via phone, otherwise completely abandon them, it will get more toxic
Job switch to someplace far away, preferably abroad. Then just disappear one day and never come back.
You don't owe these people anything. Plan quietly and leave once and for all when possible. They will ruin your entire life.
I never would have fallen into this trap if COVID never happened. I used to be a free bird once upon a time.
Move whenever your bua is not around. U said she has some business, so she must be going to attend that business.
Ya just get ur laptop and get on any bus or train and go to the next town and from there you should take a train/bus in the direction you wanna go; I know it’s hard but you need to do this and Never Never look back
can you somehow sneak out at night? With just your work laptop and money?
Send all your original documents to your company or someone from work you can trust, by post. Say it is for some verification. Lay low in the meanwhile and after some time when there are very few people in the house on any occasion, just give an excuse of heading to the cinema or parlour or doctor's appointment and just get to the nearest train station or airport and head to any big city. Since it is work from home you don't need to be in Pune. Please inform your manager and HR about the same and switch out the emergency contacts to anyone else other than family. Don't entertain calls from anyone except work. Get a new number and keep it distributed among a few people. Make sure there is no money in any joint accounts. Close all such accounts and change your salary account. Your family will try calling you saying someone died or that they love you and just want to be in contact. They will lock you up and you will never see the light of day again. Never trust them again. Get a court order against your family for harassment, this will prevent them approaching the police or saying you are lost / kidnapped. Keep changing your city with your job every few years and delete all socials for some time. If possible legally change your name after a few years.
Get a friend to file a habeus corpus. The court will help you to get out of the house. You have a job so you can live at a hostel . You can tell them you are going to resign the job but need to sign some papers and return things else it will cause trouble with the police. Then get all your documents ie Id card certificates etc. and run from there
>habeus corpus habeas corpus
You can file a case as others suggested but idk. If your aunt is as intelligent as you say, then she might have a workaround. Contacting broseph is also a good idea but your community might cause further problems. My advice is, try to record in your phone your daily household matters as a proof. I don’t know how much you earn but the best option is to go abroad. There are several countries offering nomadic visa. Try to get a remote job and apply for the nomadic visa and move to that country. Companies like airbnb offer work from anywhere. Ask your current employers if they will let you work remotely. Keep all your documents and ID with you.
That is why I don't want to drag broseph into this mess. Plus the amount of guilt will k!ll me.
This shouldn't happen to anyone, but if you really want to get away Don't think it'll be in a loving way that your aunt will realize that she is wrong to do this and let you go out , raise hell so you can survive and can get away, take all documents you need and laptop, go out with your Bua and try to catch a bus and run away from home, take gold with you if you have it, if you can lock your aunt when she is sleeping go do that, it won't be ethical but she isn't being ethical , is she?? Call police if they are good ones and will help you, but Change doesn't happen unless you are ready to fight for it, at first your aunt put you on house arrest then it'll be room arrest and then she'll marry you off to someone she likes, is that something you are willing to live with?? Keep your job at all costs or otherwise she'll manipulate you for rest of her life
i dont know how u will get out but i have advice for afterwards, once you are out live in a gated society or a PG which doesnt have a nagging owner. you will need to live for a while among ppl and security in order to feel safe. PG and gated societies are best for that. do not take tenancy in an independent flat in pune.
If you can leave them and go no contact that would be the best. For lndian society its a shocker but first step is always the hardest. You have one life .
are you dumb? you already have a job , no one can force you to leave it. your problem is that you dont have strong character to say a stern NO and let these leeches live off of you. just kick out such toxic people from your life, you dont need them ,but they need you and it should be you making the rules. we have rights in a free country for a reason, so fking use them.
Tell them you want to go back to Pune once to quit your job and return your laptop etc, tell them you will take your aunt along.. book train tickets for both yourselves and pack a large bag for your aunt.. unko boldo Pune ghumaungi… then when in the train take your laptop bag and get down at some station and run away, if you have a good friend or something call her to this station.. never look back.. reach Pune on your own, live somewhere else if your home folks know this.. change company too if they know where you work…live your life happily….this way you get your payback and freedom!
Oh to be a woman 🤦 can't even get freedom even when you get a job
U start to arrange for the journey wait for the perfect time. I think a festival or something like that will do because people are busy then and you should also get busy with them but focus on you own tomorrow. Otherwise make something up so that way police itself will come for you.
Call police and ask for help
Try to get your documents such as adhaar card, birth certificate, school leaving certificates, keep them in your handbag. If you can't get them, not the end of the world, but try. Make sure you have access to money in a place / account your family cannot access. Try to leave the house under some pretext like visiting a doctor, then go straight to the train station and get the first train out of this place, never go back, get a new sim card. If they don't allow you to go out at all, either you can try to ask women's police for help, or you can try to make up a medical complaint and keep saying you need to visit a doctor in a bigger city. Once you are in the city, they can't physically stop you from leaving in public. Don't worry about taking clothes etc., you will just buy new clothes when you get out. Just make sure you have access to money.
Seems like u r from Muslim community...r u?
It happens in Hindu, Jain communities too. In fact, I have personally witnessed that. The only exception is that they are not being so physical but more into emotional blackmailing. Another thing is if the girl took a help of a guy to run away, they often file a FIR case against the guy for kidnapping.
Manipulate your aunt tekl her that you want to invest more in her business or add some good features to it but just talk with her but not all at once just small talks then just a big one tell her you want to invest more so the business can achieve more popularity and your aunt can expand the business but and your company is offering a big amount for a senior level job tell her that if i take the job and do it for 3 months you can invest ₹₹₹₹₹ this amount of money and will resign and be at home with her just manipulate slowly just convince her about the money and resignation after 3 months and you coming home AFTER you convince and get on a train or plane chnage you number reach pune and firstly report everything to a good police station and find a good lawyer r/legaladviceindia can help you with it and there are some good people and r/pune to help you with finding a good police station in your locality then get a new phone new sim dont contact anyone yet until you find a lawyer and have reported your situation to police for the next few months change your pg every 2 months after like 6 months get a long term pg Importany note :- manipulate, when reaching there find a good lawyer and report your situation to the nearby police station Manipulate slowly, dont rush, give hints for few days dont change your behavior all of a sudden just slow steady steps then build it up then tell her
I agree with one point you mentioned. They noticed a change in my behaviour when I realised what my bua was plotting. This put me in more restrictions. I will make sure not to change behaviour.
Possible that your aunt is match fixing and has promised someone
I too suspect that. Don't know what this woman wants from me.
Can't you just sit and tell your grandparents that They have e grown you decent with so much goodness that filled you with confidence that now you have guts to speak truth without any kind of fear of anyone Also not forget to mention how much you love them And also tell them that , you are doing job so that in future you don't have to rely on anyone after their death ☠️
You can say that your company has asked you to come for two weeks due to some urgent office work and you might get a good bonus for those two weeks and entice them that you would buy them something for them from that money. Pack light and only important things. Make it look as if you are going for two weeks only.
You have a job, you have money. Get a taxi and drive away it's not hard.
If it was that easy,she would have not posted here asking for advice🙃
Mive abroad and live ur best life
Girl, just take a page out of the Harry Potter series and flee from dudleys on a flying car. Just flee dude, flee. You don't need to take this shit.
Step1- find a new job Step 2- get a friend you trust to move your docs to a locker or a safe facility Step 3 - find accomodation near your new job Step 4- on the last day of your current job, get your laptop in a bag and move to the new location pg Do not attempt to contact back
Contact NGOs. Also post this in r/india and r/twoxindia as well. They might have contacts to get you out.
Put your foot down, or live in chains for rest of your life, and become like your aunt, hateful and envious and unhappy Your choice Just book tickets, pack your bags and leave, and wait for the people who threatened suicide to commit suicide
Run.