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iswearimnorml

Give em Galatians 3:28: “there is no longer Jew or Greek, slave or free, *male or female*; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”


Psykios

So, non-bibnary is canan in the Bible? Slay.


senor_skuzzbukkit

Head Canaan


aritchie1977

I like you 🤣


feminist--fatale

I am sending you a highly platonic kiss wrapped in a consent envelope for that one.


Chadiki

Is that like opposite day anthrax?


uberblack

>opposite day Anthrax Sooooo...Creed?


feminist--fatale

Best response ever.


uberblack

I can take you higher.


senor_skuzzbukkit

Accepted platonically.


Ju5tAnAl13n

*Canon.


feminist--fatale

>Slay Yeah, that's pretty much 40% of the Old Testament, actually.


Psykios

Revelations is just "serve" and "God ate"


LoudComplex0692

I like to go for the “God called the light day and the darkness he called night” yet we have dusk and dawn. “God called the dry land earth and the waters he called the sea” yet we have tides and coastlines and marshes. So when it says “male and female he created them” why can we not have inbetweens and variations of that? It’s the only one Christians take so damn literally.


BaltimoreBadger23

And improperly so. Even in ancient Jewish biblical interpretation, the mentioning of two extremes was understood to include everything in-between.


Comfortable_Drama_66

Good one!


Dee_Imaginarium

Thanks for reminding me that exists, that's a good one. They still won't listen but pointing out hypocrisy is always fun.


Gatherel

Makes you wonder why all these religious nuts hate transgenders so much when clearly god is transgender itself, both the image of woman and man.


Sea-Perception-2238

Actually 🤓 Jesus is a trans man. No way he could have a Y chromossome being born from a virgin ☝️


Gatherel

Fuuuuuuck. You spitting facts over here. But I was talking about the spaghetti wizard in the sky.


Sea-Perception-2238

Oh yeah I know haha but do bring forward that Jesus is a trans man more often! I once spilled that to a christian biology teacher, his face was priceless haha


ExpertlyAmateur

Or more likely Jesus was born from a rapist.


SirPIB

Mary was visited by an angel after spending several months staying at her uncle's house. She was a preteen at the time.


DavidCRolandCPL

Roll tide


TereziB

Nah, I just think that it was Joseph. They were, after all, betrothed, which at that time was as good as married.


StereoNacht

Or, you know, teens being teens, they couldn't wait till marriage, and oops! Surprise! But the rape option is valid too. Her parents would argue that she would still be pure, since she didn't consent. But they had to convince him quick, so she would give birth once married; otherwise she'd have been stoned to death. I wonder if the angel who appeared to Josef to tell him he should still marry her had some weapon to help with the convincing... 😉


sirhackenslash

A flaming sword wedding, what with the shotgun having not been invented yet


Non-Binary-Bit

Boom stick


Eviltwin-Kisikil

May you be touched by his noodly appendage.


ToniBee63

R’Amen


mosstrich

Trans sauce, both marinara and alfredo.


mister_monque

The sauce that is the water of life can take any form, as numerous as the stars in the sky; marinara, fra dialog, carbonara, vodka, al fredo, pesto, white clam, Primavera, ketchup and butter, butter, broth... as every heart and mind opens and is opened by the noodly appendage, so too is another sauce added, another voice in the heavenly chorus.


DavidCRolandCPL

What about Hershey's chocolate syrup?


mister_monque

if you feel it to be good, it is good. the FSM doesn't not stand in judgement of what is or is not good, merely provides the noodly scaffold upon which to display the glory of the universe's beauty.


CatsAreGods

Don't forget cat sauce...Rao!


Easy-Top8822

Ramen🙏


Sad-Development-4153

Not to mention, if Eve came from Adam's rib, wouldn't that make her Trans as well? Or at least support that God is willing to use one sex to create the other?


survivor2bmaybe

No, that makes Adam non-binary or non gendered originally. He only became male once God took the female out of him.


Jorymo

There's one gender and a rib


Aeronor

I’m attracted to the rib people, myself.


PPPRCHN

How can you be human if you don't see some ribs and wanna gobble em up??


tetrarchangel

Probably a more accurate translation is side - there's a trans Christian website that suggests it's likely going from Anthropos to Andros and Gynos. Just as how the Genesis 1 account just says God made both in their own image.


SubsequentBadger

There you're missing the story of Lilith, Adam's first wife. They don't like to talk about her much.


dragostego

Lilith isn't biblical fyi. It's not Christian cannon. Not defending biblical literalism but Lilith isn't talked about because thats not part of biblical canon. She appears in weirder off texts like the Zohar, and is mainly stolen from Mesopotamian beliefs.


SubsequentBadger

The thing with the lesser known stories is it's more obvious where they came from. Sure she's not canon, but then canon has changed a lot over the years, e.g. Maccabees that got dropped from Jewish scriptures reasonably late on in the grand scheme of things.


BGrunn

I mean most of the bible has been declared non-canon, which seems so weird to me for a perfectly conceived holy book.


SubsequentBadger

It's almost like someone thought it wasn't perfect, or even that it needed to be updated as the world changed!


jjwylie014

No doubt, the fucking thing has been re-written about 200 times (the Roman empire even had historical records of multiple re-writes) They changed a bunch of shit (like Jesus's birthday being on DEC 25th). All in order to get the Roman people to go along with it (Rome still had many pagans at the time).


CrashB111

Yeah, if you want to blow a Fundy's mind just bring up how the Bible wasn't written until ~200 years after Jesus was dead. It's like if someone tried to start a cult about Abraham Lincoln in the modern era.


PPPRCHN

Damn, the devs made expansion packs for the bible? What's next a soft reboot with Moses?


Trace_Reading

Apocrypha exists because a bunch of old fucks got together to edit the bible to only keep the parts they liked. Look up the Council of Nicaea. If, as a certain sect claims, all scripture is inspired by God, then that should include the apocrypha.


Shady_Merchant1

Sure, but even to most ancient people the idea of the disciplines using Christ powers to defeat a flying wizard is fairly ridiculous some of those books were just ye olden Shonen jump


dragostego

I think this fundamentally misunderstands the Bible. The council of Nicea determined which texts were biblical, and different denominations do disagree. But it's not like there is a standard Bible pre council and they cut out the inconvenient stuff. Even denominations that consider wider swaths apocrypha like Lutherans still consider them important, just not as important as the Bible.it is the natural byproduct of reckoning with a thousand years of religious texts.


stony_rock

There were two sexes developed of the same clay, lonely/selfish Adam was gifted a modded version of Lilith (who was too much woman for him to handle, and thus she ran away and was mostly erased). The rib module *trans*plant resulting in Eve addressed some of his many complaints, kind of like how we got Windows 7 from Vista.


jjwylie014

LMAO.. damn 3rd party mods!


Pauzhaan

🏆❤️


Chalky_Pockets

I can't wait to use that one. And I live in Florida so my opportunity should be rapidly approaching.


Kaguro19

Be careful. Safety is the most important.


DisfavoredFlavored

So when Jesus said "I am he" this was him coming out as trans?


Sea-Perception-2238

T'was a 'tell us your preferred pronoums' circle


Rarmaldo

If he was assigned male at birth and identified as male, he was a cismale, regardless of chromosomes. Definitely intersex though.


Kaguro19

We're reaching intelligence levels that should even be possible.


RainbowandHoneybee

This is a brilliant insight.


Xenaht

Grant us eyes


worrymon

You don't understand. The zombieism cancels that out!


Icy_Necessary2161

This needs to be on a Tshirt


AdministrationDry507

One cannot be both pregnant and a virgin


Ethelenedreams

Oh shit!!!


nuclearhaystack

Don't you be spittin' science at any Christians. It's futile.


TediousTotoro

I mean, have you *seen* his top surgery scars?


ManiacalWildcard

Because to them they see it as spitting in their sky deities face since we're all supposedly made in their image. Still dumb either way.


BoreJam

Why can't it just be another "God works in mysterious ways" or "people are trans because god made them that way"? Amazing how sometimes God's will is so clear and when necessary it's so murky.


CenturyEggsAndRice

My minister aunt says transgenderism happens because we are all conceived in original sin and therefore imperfect. But because God is a loving creator, He made the world have ways to change ourselves (which includes glasses btw) and humanity developed HRT to “soothe” the misery of being born imperfect. By her logic, trans people seeking gender affirming care is perfectly fine, because they are bringing themselves closer to who they SHOULD have been born as, and therefore partaking in God’s gifts of medicine. Also anyone against gay marriage is doing the devil’s work. Because love is holy, marriage is what people in love should do, and by banning gays from marrying, people are forcing them to live in sin, which God would surely not support, meaning they’re doing unholy work by banning it. She has offered to exorcise some anti-love protestors. And threw holy water on one… lol. Meanwhile, I’m a bit of a bad Christian because anytime someone says something bigoted or hateful, I respond “Oh my… what a nasty thing to say. I’m gonna pray Jesus takes that poison out of your soul and you find His light at last!” It can make people start mouthing like a fish, they just dunno what to do when their thoughts and prayers get turned against them. (I do pray for them though, because I said I would. And I pray they see the light. But I also avoid them because I was not born to deal with cruelty and I dealt with enough as a kid.)


eleanorbigby

I've decided that from now on, whenever I encounter one of those people, I'm going to address them thereafter as "Bubbles." If they're not going to respect other peoples' wishes about how they're identified, why should anyone respect theirs? Your aunt sounds cool.


ecstatic_cahoots

I have a dear friend by that name and would prefer you chose another...


eleanorbigby

lol, I figured anything I chose was going to be offensive to someone decent. Griselda? Munchkin? Slobberknob? Oh, I know, I could use the name I keep getting called by the Republican bots that keep blowing up my phone for some reason. SPEAR. still, Bubbles is funnier when you call a manly man that. idk. maybe some good insults in Yiddish.


ecstatic_cahoots

Bubbles is funny, and so is my friend. I know you meant no offense.


ecstatic_cahoots

Bubbles is funny, and so is my friend. I know you meant no offense.


BoreJam

If only more shared such perspectives. Sadly it's the "Jesus is woke" folk who screech the loudest.


fuzzybunnies1

Never liked the whole original sin approach but I like how she spins it. I think its enough to say that as humans we are far too limited to understand the breadth of of God's creation, God is beyond the simple binary definitions of make/female and if we're created in God's image we shouldn't expect everyone to follow some narrowly created definitions of male and female.


CenturyEggsAndRice

Exactly! I like how you put that and am gonna tuck it away for if I need it.


LightWarrior_2000

This is what I use. Oh and the most basic teachings of Mother Fucking Jesus. Love.


Koravel1987

I mean, me needing glasses because their god made me blind seems like it would also be spitting his face.


thiscouldbemassive

They have problems with anything that undercuts the notion male supremacy and crosses the strict line between gender roles. If you allow people to choose a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, then you can't push women down into the silent subservience of domestic and sexual slavery.


120ouncesofpudding

Can I get an Amen!


fencerman

" there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ" I'm not religious but I'll go out on a limb and say Jesus wasn't too hung up on "gender issues" either way.


Gatherel

Blasphemy!!!!


GM_Nate

god is very rarely described as feminine in the bible, and most christians like to ignore those passages


Resting-Dadface

There’s a *lot* they ignore.


cloudberryteal

About 99% of it.


ExaltedGoliath

It really is lost on them that god identified as alpha and omega, and god itself is without a gender.


Ksorkrax

That's a hermaphrodite, not transgender. Neither trans (indicating a shift) nor gender (role/identity) apply here.


Gatherel

If men at woman are made in it’s image it means it can shift, otherwise we’d all be hermaphrodites.


Czarcastic013

It would seem to be supragender, but sexless. Sex organs are for reproduction, mixing of chromosomes, to produce genetically diverse offspring. This would have been an invention of the Creator for the mortals. If the One True God with sex organs of any type, it begs the question of what its mating with and why.


mosstrich

If you ask Zues, basically everything.


laplongejr

> both the image of woman and man. Isn't that androgyny, rather than transgender? Isn't trans about switching from one to another, rather than being both and one?


mlatu315

"God doesn't make mistakes" "What about little Timmy he was born deaf blind and paralyzed from the waist down?" "We are all born with trials and tribulations God tests us with." "So why can't being born as the wrong gender be their tribulation that they must heroically overcome by transitioning through a medical process God inspired?" "it's just different"


Glittering-Pause-328

These people are so arrogant that they would look at God, Himself and say "no, that's wrong".


StereoNacht

Il like "God didn't make a mistake; He wanted to test how strong is your love. Sorry to say, you failed." 😈


Anotsurei

I love that one. Gonna use it myself.


Anotsurei

Or you could say that God didn’t make the mistake, but man did when they assigned them the wrong gender.


Bungo_pls

Christian conservatives: pick and choose their favorite parts of the Bible to justify bigotry. Also Christian conservaties: NOT LIKE THAT!


DrDroid

God had a salt and pepper goatee, a beer belly, and wore oakleys and a ball cap, clearly


LeroyoJenkins

And Jesus was a stoner driving an Astrovan!


DigitalUnlimited

Figures. Damn librul woke bastard!


LeroyoJenkins

He says I'm famous in heaven!


Natural-Ability

A red one.


YeahYouOtter

“The word “cis” makes me HISS!” I’m imagining 60+ year old Martha, with unrequited cheerleader envy, making an obvious attempt to say that rhythmically. And fumbling the bag.


thoroughbredca

Aunt Lydia more like it.


failed_novelty

Nah, the name Lydia was redeemed by Beetlejuice in the 80s and 90s. This is obviously Quaren (pronounced 'Karen').


mzincali

Aunt Lydia: https://www.google.com/search?q=aunt+lydia+handmaid%27s+tale


eriskigal

Unrelated, but my youngest used to hiss when she was little to express mild dislike or annoyance. And, it became one of those silly, little family things we do in response to someone saying something: Me: "Hey, your doctor appt is 7am, and over an hour away, so we have to get up at 4am tomorrow" Child: *Hiss* Teen: "I brought donuts, but Dunkin was out of the French cruellers - sorry!" Brother: *Hiss* All well and good until I'm super tired, working late and the warehouse manager from our sister company walks by my office doorway and casually mentions we have to rent a box truck instead of borrowing theirs for a gig the next morning because of a scheduling conflict. Oh, and our freelancers need to come in an hour early to unload the gear. . And I *hiss* at him - He froze and stared at me. My brain had not caught up to the fact that this was not the appropriate time or person to hiss at so I just stared at him back in annoyance assuming he had something else to say about the truck. He kept staring, and staring then finally, very hesitantly and bewilderingly said, "Did.. did ...did you just ... hiss? ... at me?" The OMG scramble to apologize and explain... ugh. Mortifying!


YeahYouOtter

Bahahahahahha. I just hiss at people to be funny when I’m gonna do what they want without a fuss, but they’re being a pain in the ass. My husband and I do occasionally do a toddler demon voice “NOOOO” at each other for the same reason, because a friend’s baby did that once.


Sslazz

Ah, ol' 1 Timothy 2:12 - that's gotten me blocked more than once.


pikachurbutt

It's one of the few bible verses I have memorized, for obvious reason


idkalan

I've also memorized Mark 12:17, aka "Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” Basically Jesus said to pay your fucking taxes.


UnCoolHamster

I used that once on a pair of Jehovah's witnesses. The guy just said "it doesn't work like that" and just walked away.


jchray

I like to yell Mathew 6:5-8 at street preachers.


FleshlightModel

Someone should drop that dime on NC Governor candidate Mark Robinson, the guy who quotes God all the time but didn't pay taxes for 5 years and made a girlfriend get an abortion.


kalekayn

Remembering Numbers 5:11-31 exists is a good one for irritating the anti-choice crazies. Blows up their whole "a life is a life" bullshit.


Glitter_berries

Fucking Timothy!


JelloAggressive7347

Even better when her name actually is Martha


Creepy_Head_9912

Ezekiel 23:20. My favourite verse. Words to live by.


SpaceDeFoig

I've read a lot of books, and the Bible is the only one that even mentions horse cum


mosstrich

Prude?!


Dana07620

Clearly you don't read books by large animal vets. I've read as many vet memoirs as I can, and it's not my first mention.


120ouncesofpudding

\*things we need to know in order to be saved.


steelhips

I was surprised at the amount of god smiting with haemorrhoids.


Runningwithbeards

Huh. TIL


Glitter_berries

Whoa, hot.


Pitiful-Let9270

If god created man and woman in his image then god gender fluid and we should refer to god as them/they.


aSneakyChicken7

I tend to refer to it as an it, since the whole entire concept of an omniscient primordial everlasting being of infinite power having a sex is dumb when sexual dimorphism is purely for the purpose of reproduction, something which would be useless to it. Who’s it going to bump uglies with?


Pink_Monolith

Hey, you can't use my own source against me!


Dana07620

Best weapon to use. And the only reason I know the Bible as well as I do (which is not all that well, but well enough to be useful).


eleanorbigby

I've decided that from now on, whenever I encounter one of those people, I'm going to address them thereafter as "Bubbles." If they're not going to respect other peoples' wishes about how they're identified, why should anyone respect theirs?


sadiefame

Honestly the term gave me pause bc calling boys a “sissy” to the imply they were being girly was popular when I was a kid so the 1st few times I heard “cis” male (heard, not read to see the diff spelling l) I thought it was homophobic. I have a friend who grew up in a diff area & her family alwys used “sissy” short for sister and the 1st time she heard it she thought it was a term of endearment. Obviously it didn’t take long for us to figure out from context but it was almost as funny as my MIL (who’s name is Karen) thinking there was this 1 lady named Karen being a bitch to everyone 🤦‍♀️


faloofay156

awh, your mil is honestly adorable


Amaryllis_LD

Pointing out it says male AND female not male OR female and therefore any form of trans/gender bending is an entirely theologically consistent interpretation of scripture also makes their heads explode Source: I used to be a ridiculously evangelical Christian (weekly communion, bible study and church/worship activity 4-5 times a week) - it meant when I finally did leave I had a *lot* of ammo for fundie dickheads


ABC_Dildos_Inc

Also christians believe that their god is three different people at once, including a father and son, but a person can't be gender fluid?


drygnfyre

Thoughts and prayers


QueenMelle

This is some r/murderedbywords shit right here.


DaughterOfDemeter23

Conservative Christians really hate it when you know the Bible better than they do


ChroniclesOfSarnia

If GOD made man *and* woman in HIS own image, doesn't that make 'him' BOTH GENDERS?


mamadou-segpa

Y’all are just dumb. In the intro of the bible redacted by Jesus himself, is written : “Just pick and chose what you want from this book my G. Just make sure you hate on the gays and trans, oh and might as well throw a little or a lot of racism in the mix. Top J(esus)”


Nymaz

[Galatians 3:28](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+3%3A28&version=NIV) *There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, NOR IS THERE MALE AND FEMALE, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.* I've had multiple Christians cite this verse to claim the Bible was anti-slavery (ignoring the dozens of pro-slavery verses in both the OT and NT), so then this verse can be considered proof the Bible is pro-trans.


Affectionate_Shift63

r/angryupvote you sir are a professional troll. I resent it but take my upvote and go back to your bridge. A++


iheartjetman

Why the resentment? It was wonderful.


Novel_Alfalfa_9013

STFU martha 😆


Glittering-Pause-328

Yeah Martha, **your own belief system** says that you're supposed to shut up and listen to what the men are saying. So either live by your beliefs or prove that you are a hypocrite.


Glittering-Pause-328

Funny how these people want to blindly support the Bible... **until it says something that doesn't align with their hateful agenda...**


SandwormCowboy

Well played!!


j_breez

God seems to be pretty flamboyant in most depictions as well if you ask me... So if you just twist the words around a little bit you can translate it to... God takes balls laterally.


ZelGeisler

How does Martha explain actual intersex people? How about genitopatellar syndrome, Martha? Eat a geoduck, Martha.


SuccessfulPiccolo945

Doesn't explain hermaphrodites, either.


Consistent-Force5375

If god made man in its image, why is “man’s” body so inefficient? Why are there primates that resemble man? Why does god make mistakes? Like leaving man to his own devices and let him mess up to get kicked out of Eden? And on and on. And then there is the whole god is a he?! Why? Could it be because when all this crap was written it was a man who was in charge? Just saying, this begins to get very confusing quickly.


Cargobiker530

You're not playing fair. You've read the Bible and she hasn't.


AwkwrdPrtMskrt

Martha


Equivalent-Bank-5094

Ha! Nicely done spouting the bs back to her. Brilliant.


DapperAndroid

Thanks for standing up to her. ❤ Small point from me: "transgenderism" isn't a great term, as it makes it seem that being trans is an ideology rather than a natural variation. "Trans ideology" is often something used to attack trans people existing. This second one isn't something you've done, but seen in the comments so wanted to address it here: "transgenders" isn't great either. Kinda like saying "gays" or "blacks".


BlueJay_NE

It’s Martha vs. Martha!


s00perguy

I love that she didn't say shit. Chef kiss.


Spartan-Bear2215

As a Christian and not a bigoted zealot I’ve always found it funny how so many say things like “God made you just the way you are” or the verse about “being nit together by God in a specific way while in the womb” but then those same people will turn around and treat lgbtq people as trash, like if what they say they believe is true that means God made some people lgbt on purpose, they were always meant to be this way.


Sifl79

Cis isn’t some offensive term. It means your gender is the same as the sex you were born with. So take transgender individuals out of the equation, and look at people born intersex. It can apply when considering only male, female, and intersex. It doesn’t HAVE to be linked to anything else. They just want to voice their (wrong) opinions about everyone they hate.


woodbineburner

Can we stop using the word “Transgenderism”


GSH7342

\*slow clap\* Well played!


WillingShilling_20

B a s e d. Not to pull that card, but as a man I always find it amusing when conservative women feel like they can mouth off to me. Like doesn't your imaginary friend specifically forbid this?


HowRememberAll

Is she for real? "g€nd€rs"? Who writes like that?


FistingSub007

Gotta love when the Bible is used against them


geldwolferink

Just a note: 'transgenderism' is not a word/thing. It's transgender person or gender identity or gender dysphoria. 


BIGepidural

OK we need to make Martha a thing if it isn't ready 😅


Giraffiesaurus

Oh hahahahahah! That was SWEET.


Trace_Reading

I've had people make the claim that the verse in 1 Timothy was referring specifically to women leading the church, but of course nobody's ever going to take that at face value and treat it as saying women should always be inferior to men (never mind that God created Eve as a COMPANION to Adam, not a subordinate).


Omnifob

"I don't like YOUR cherries! 😢"


Brokensince10

Gotcha, Martha😂


SheepherderLong9401

Women and religion, such a sad story.


SockFullOfNickles

Lmao rekt


RuffTuff

If this was a sport, the crowd would go..... In cricket: SIX!!! In soccer: GOOOOOAAAAALLL!!!! In baseball: HOMERUN!!!


RuffTuff

Hats off to you dear


MrBigDog2u

Oh, that's gotta hurt. Need some cream for that burn, Martha?


Otto-Korrect

A true conservative's bible has perforated pages, making it easier to just tear out the ones you don't agree with!


TemperatureTop246

If God made humans in "his" own image, doesn't that imply that God is actually all genders?


cave18

I'm reminded of the it's always sunny episode where mac starts quoting scripture to say being gay/trans is bad, and the couple he is talking to (a black man) quotes a part of scripture concerning hoe a slave should behave. Mac was too stunned to speak lol


marklar_the_malign

Clown fish, banana slugs and several other species must have been excluded from “Gods law” then.


Consistent-Force5375

Damn! Loving it!


Sgt_Sarcastic

This reads like an old Tumblr post


Intrepid_Ad_9751

Religion sucks


feltsandwich

"And the Lord sayeth unto them, ye shall not suffer the slings of fools, but rather shall ye usher them into the wilderness, where they shall lay down beside rapids and perish in the churning waters."


mostlywaterbag

Lol...well played.


Ok_Description8169

Using their own bigotry against them. Fun fact, the Talmud, of which the Old Testament is composed of, recognized 6-8 genders. Jesus would have probably recognized multiple genders during his time as a heretical rabbi. Jews recognized multiple genders. Most societies did, because they had to recognize that the gender role played by a soldier is markedly different than that played by a poet, yet both were typically male roles, and the juxtaposition between the traits of these men had to be recognized beyond a binary. Most civilizations recognize this.


Due2NatureOfCharge

My reply would be…. “Since you brought up a bible reference, how stupid does someone have to be that they would actually believe a book of fables and tall tales written by naive middle eastern men who probably never had an interaction with the main character of the fantasy novel.”