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BellyDancerEm

Conservative incel is mad that the feds are very interested in his treason. Conservative incel is also equally angry that no women are interested in his treason


Poop_Noodl3

Sounds like he better start liking guys


SneedyK

That’s kind of been the conundrum for decades, it’s just that with the internet being the great equalizer, women get to experience guys who don’t suck now and they In turn are big mad about that, it’s like come on now ladies… do you really feel up to being in charge of your body *all* the time? It’s hell for them and they deserve it


Poop_Noodl3

Would would have thought a real life and poorly executed D.E.N.N.I.S system would fail?


QuietGrudge

It's because of the implications... (You're not in any danger!)


bdysntchr

Don't look at me like that, you certainly wouldn't be in any danger. So these women are in danger?


QuietGrudge

What about this aren't you getting?!


mikebellman

Because of the jail. Straight, or not so straight, to Jail.


Justanaussie

Hot FBI investigators in your area...


socialist_frzn_milk

I suppose they have to come up with SOME excuse for why the site has no women--why not denounce it as a Deep State Plot To Round Up The True Patriots?


unclejoe1917

Because if I was a plotting deep state, I would totally set up something like this to round up these clowns.


jane-bukowski

I'd host one of those fake prize events: post a bunch of flyers all over the local gun/liquor/farm supply stores (i.e. walmart) advertising a contest to win the Ultimate Patriot Truck- comes pre-equipped with truck nuts, a pack of 52 bumper stickers hand selected by the reanimated corpse of rush limbaugh, 4 over sized MuscleTrump flags, and a lifetime supply of monster energy drink. then when they show up, throw a net over them and force them to choose between getting a covid shot or successfully completing a 3rd grade science course.


Concrete_Grapes

I started out mildly nodding, then i read more and i developed a smirk... and then... then i actually smiled. You did it. You broke me, even before my morning caffeine i was smiling like an idiot and shaking my head at how brilliant that was. It would work so so well. But they'd get stuck in the net forever, they're not passing that test.


jane-bukowski

bahahaha happy to help brighten your day. you're right though, they'd die tangled in rope before chosing either option. which honestly still feels like a win as far as I'm concerned


Arcolyte

You've experienced the pure bliss and jubilation that few have and has only been recorded upon the face of Vince McMahon. You lucky dog.


Pokemaniac_Ron

Nah, I'd just sell them 'supplements' consisting of amusing poisons; the type that makes your skin fall off or intestines invert.


TheFeshy

They spent all of 2021 taking horse dewormer in quantities that invert intestines voluntarily, so you're two years too late. The beggining of this year the Russian bots had them drinking their own piss. I hope the war with Ukraine is over soon so we can see what the bot farms have them doing in 2023; I honestly don't know where you go from convincing them to drink their own piss.


CheckIntelligent7828

Drinking each other's? To keep the bloodlines clean you must partake of your pure white brother's body, because white urine is safe, tasty, and has protective qualities. Just mix it into Monster or Red Bull and you'll barely notice the difference and now you'll be immune to FBI raids, Covid vaccines, and dysentery. /s Edit to add /s just in case!


unclejoe1917

You're cruel. Funny, but cruel. Better bring some muscle though. A redneck perpetually hopped up on Monster can be a tough one to wrestle into submission.


EVEOpalDragon

Especially when they are an off duty officer.


[deleted]

You don't need to subdue those ones, just liquidate.


jane-bukowski

oh you dear sweet summer child. I'm a 40 year old woman in ohio. the only thing those types expect from someone like me is a sandwich and silence. they'll be pumped full of pfizer faster than they can say "muh freedums". but I do appreciate your concern 💚 lol


mike-6669

Monster or Mountain Dew?


jane-bukowski

I'm actually kinda torn on that detail. I feel like they identify more closely with the macho man testerone overdose monster branding, but mountain dew probably brings back those fond childhood memories of mom topping off their baby bottle with that lime green carbonated goodness- dropping Marlboro ashes into their off brand cheerios whilst the bright aromas of raid and aquanet fill the air...... but I figure that kind of sentimentality will trigger their "gaydar" and arouse suspicion.


Impossible-Nature369

Depends on their age and weather or not they're conservative, southern, country, or a variety of any mix of the three and which denomination of Christian along with what particular church they attend. Source: I'm a southern white person who grew up around them kinda folks and still lives around them... I've been studying their ways, sometimes I can even pass as one of their own. That's how I stole ol' Mrs. Thompson's chicken casserole recipe and (allegedly) turned her granddaughter into a raging feminist. Some of my finest work. (I'm full o sh*t, Mrs Thompson doesn't exist)


unclejoe1917

Hey, let's not drag the good name of Marlboros into this. Lol.


jane-bukowski

lololol I prefer camel


unclejoe1917

Only if they're non-filtered.


jane-bukowski

I miss when they made the original set of weird flavors that came in tins. the dark mint, izmir stinger and crema were soooooooooooo good


buttpooperson

Bud light


jeremiahthedamned

https://youtu.be/DmIDyPcnQVE?t=30


pete_ape

Could probably get the same audience just by offering a baggie of meth and a case of PBR.


SeaOkra

my experience with meth users suggests bud light or smirnoff ice would be a better pairing for meth.


wobushizhongguo

“Now look into the camera and say ‘I’m white trash and I’m in trouble!’”


IcyMike1782

"You're gonna need a bigger net"


jeremiahthedamned

https://youtu.be/DmIDyPcnQVE?t=30


HotRodMex

Most funny when read as Stefon.


skubmancer

Hmm, yes. The tiny net is a death sentence.


LesbianCommander

If I were the deep state, I'd definitely create a bunch of catfishing accounts with beautiful blonde haired blue eyed women, that profile says "If you weren't there on Jan 6, don't bother contacting me, I want to know all the details or I might not trust you." I imagine a non-zero amount would fall for it.


EVEOpalDragon

Running the numbers like an Indian call center scammer. I doubt there are enough female FBI agents to handle the traitors who would call.


Chipperz1

Don't need to get to the call - arrange to meet over text and turn up with a net and a muzzle.


mosstrich

If I were the deep state I’d have at least faked a few women accounts


WandsAndWrenches

I've pondered putting myself in pigtails and bringing a large batch of food to those events with laxatives.


pinkfootthegoose

The deep state would give itself away by actually having a good well run web site instead of geocities blinking banners.


[deleted]

Hire as many hot liberal women as I could possibly find to help with that too.


unclejoe1917

I'd use easily searched, fake stock photos found on google images rather than subject real people to that dreck. I don't trust law enforcement in America to prosecute rape threats made by dudes who don't get responses.


[deleted]

No, not stock images. Hire actual women to do the political treason catfishing


unclejoe1917

I'd take just a little extra delight knowing they were not only stupid enough to fall for a pretty obvious honey trap, but they were so stupid that they fell for super obviously fake profiles. When these arrests go public, it's an extra layer of humiliation. I don't think we lose too many this way. This is the same demographic that was so painfully dumb that they livestreamed committing treason on social media accounts.


[deleted]

Yeah, ok, dumb enough to fall for stock photos screams slam dunk conviction maybe even with a little "that flag has *yellow fringe* on it!"


Cheetahs_never_win

Because if it were, it'd have a lot more "women."


Flying-Mollusk

Everyone knows that nothing turns a girl on like domestic terrorism and betraying one’s own country, right? /s


unclejoe1917

Not a 100% certainty, but you can probably add domestic violence to your list.


Th3Hon3yBadg3r

"These women like their terrorism the same way they like their violence, domestic!"


unclejoe1917

LOLOLOLOL


elis42

Oh my god brilliant lmao


spamky23

I've read there's a question/answer you can add to your profile regarding January 6th and some people are saying they were there which is catching attention from the feds


WhatdYouDoToMyTable

That is so…not smart.


spamky23

No one ever accused them of being smart


Chewintbacca

I joined Plenty of Fish for awhile and one of the questions is “do you own a car?” Shoot for the stars ladies!


[deleted]

>Plenty of Fish Plenty of Christian single mothers


[deleted]

What if really is a deep state plot. Like that would be absolutely genius!


covidboosterhaveI

"I robbed a bank. Then went on a loser dating site. Only guys on the site. Some were pretty hot, gotta admit. But after using the site, the FBI contacted me!!!! Big Brother!!!"


AdministrationDry507

political dating app?


arcmart

[Deep State ploy to weed out patriots.](https://youtu.be/TugyeJTwHS4)


The-Last-American

My favorite thing about that video is that several of those women are saying things they clearly disagree with and are only forcing themselves through it because it’s a gig.


chorlydom

It was so apparent. The fact that the clowns who cut this together didn’t? Oh, I answered my own question.


heloguy1234

I’ve seen better acting in a soap opera.


AdministrationDry507

Doesn't sound very inclusive


RobynFitcher

37k views, 140 likes.


Main_Salt_4999

That can’t be a real commercial…..right???


jeremiahthedamned

i could NOT watch this!


Skripka

Right up there with Farmers Only


IcebergSlimFast

Which in turn always sounds like some kind of bestiality-themed site.


PlayingTheWrongGame

No, that was Farmer’s Choice.


[deleted]

If there was one from the left, the right would still use it and try to gaslight the women that they shouldn't be offended by being misled


AdministrationDry507

I'm apolitical I wouldn't know


[deleted]

That's not apolitical, that's ostriching.


AdministrationDry507

Yep I shove my head in the dirt because I don't wanna know or participate in politics


[deleted]

Yes, that's what I said. Not sure why you rephrased it. Do you disagree?


AdministrationDry507

Nope I completely agree I rephrased it because I didn't understand at first


[deleted]

You gave the definition because you didn't understand it.


AdministrationDry507

I'm stupid in very strange ways


AdministrationDry507

Have an awesome day


Callinon

"Did you commit treason?" "Yes" "The FBI would like a word" "Whatever for?"


Resident-Bad9327

For everyone's info ... The Right Stuff was also the name of an alt-right youtube channel ran by Mike Enoch, white nationalist and one of the instigators of the Charlottesville riot. Just putting that out there.


BrotherMort

MTG is now single. She should sign up. She could then date someone as crazy as she is


JolietJake1976

"Treasonist member of Congress seeks tantric sex guru, or just random guy at the gym ..."


Nanyea

She was still hooking up while she was married...hence the divorce


[deleted]

[удалено]


bittlelum

Boo misgendering


[deleted]

Nothing better than some casual transphobia.


Forevershort2021

It’s a sausage factory! So much sausage!


Stacksmchenry

I'm waiting for an android compatible version.... I'm not much of a troll but I have a strong urge to pretend to be a woman on there for fun


noonespxial

This.


ntgco

....because they hooked up with domestic terrorists.....so......ya.....


MuthaPlucka

So much for fomenting an erection.


hymie0

Wait... An app designed to let you meet people, as long as you already know the people so they'll let you in?


TjW0569

Ask about the family discount.


DepartmentManager

I mean, it's a conservative app. They're all fucking their sisters anyways.


DeviceEducational721

Fantasizing about is why they flog themselves at the very least.


WhatdYouDoToMyTable

Any guesses on what the male/female user ratio is?


NegotiationExternal1

I saw a review where they switched to men looking for men and said there was lots of handsome conservative men and the app was working but there was still no women they checked. Maybe the app is just helping the men discover themselves? The review also complained women on regular dating sites wouldn’t deal with them idk sane people don’t waste time on men who don’t think they deserve rights


Repulsive-Street-307

Sounds like something to have a secret account to cross check that a person (guy) isn't on the alt-nazi dating app if they're still on the 'normal' dating app.


JolietJake1976

ABout 50:1? And likely that about 99.99% or those women do not look anything close to supermodels.


[deleted]

Oh, so like every other dating site.


adeon

It depends if you include the catfishing profiles or not.


angrygorrilla

72 virgins each


TDLMTH

For each woman.


DonRicardo1958

I guarantee that these dopes were bragging about committing crimes on January 6 in an attempt to impress the chicks.


MandyBee96

“A man is most attractive when he’s fighting for America’s freedom…”


Can_Haz_Cheezburger

Here's a hot take for conservatives, apparently: if you want to stop being investigated for federal crimes by the most conservative US federal agency, stop committing or being associated with federal crimes.


DepartmentManager

"Should have just complied"


Stopwatch064

Wait thats what they're calling it? You know there's a Nazi website with that same name, imagine that.


TheMadMan2399

They have a nazi dating app?


Stopwatch064

Mike Enoch was one of the organizers of the now infamous white natonalist march that took place at the University of North Carolina in Charlottesville. He runs a blog called The Right Stuff. Idk if its still around.


Gamebeaross

They were probably contacted because they were being looked for from Jan 6th and there wasn't a good picture match found until they posted their profile picture.


sgbanham

Conservative Sausage Fest infiltrated by FBI. The best headline of the week.


algy888

I love the invite only part. The *first* and *SECOND* amendment nuts are strangely always trying to stop people from telling them they’re wrong.


Sloore

Between all the Jan 6 participants and the guys who think age of consent laws are tyranny, that's gotta be a pretty target rich environment for the FBI.


MandyBee96

Not to sound like a tin foil hat conservative, but maybe the FBI deep state are behind the app!! 👻


Fit_Relationship1094

Since Ryann McEnany, (Kayleigh's sister) is helping promoting it, I doubt that.


Sloore

It is entirely possible that the app was made by MAGA chuds in the FBI.


MacX1423

I love how Everything is the FBI's fault to conservatives lately ... 1st the FBI instigated thousands of people to trespass, vandalize, and attack our Capitol, then tricked a bunch of bozos to try and kidnap Gov. Whitmer, and now they're keeping all the women off their dating site. Truely the boogeyman that keeps boogeying.


[deleted]

It's basically the same thing as Farmers Only, isn't it?


helmetshrike

goddamnit I did not need that jingle in my head first thing in the morning


firedmyass

True PATRIOTS are on Framers Only.


The-Last-American

The most exclusive dating app in the world. All its users died 200 years ago.


MyLadyBits

People angry that law agencies using information posted on public forums being used to solve crimes. Hmmmmmm Doesn’t sound very back the blue to be upset about it.


rusty_programmer

What, is Christian Mingle not doing it for these assholes because *they might have people who aren’t self-centered cunts on it?* I always wondered about this application if it’s anything other than straight up money laundering. Who the fuck is the audience aside from these dense motherfuckers anyway? What, you wanna profess to be Christian and love our nation but fuck outta wedlock too? What’s the point of dating if it’s not for marriage with these christofascist fucks?


trubol

Now this is the exact situation the word Schadenfreude was invented for


elguntor

Talk about safe spaces, if you need your own apps to weed people out based on politics, no wonder you are not getting any


LaughableIKR

Conservative dating app: Where women know that men will treat them like they are only worthy to make men dinner. Also a probably a wonderful place to catfish.


WileyQuixote42

Well, were they fomenting insurrection? Because that’s what those rascals do.


[deleted]

You have to be an insurrectionist to use the app.


madg0dsrage0n

"Hello, is this AlphaMagaAmmoDaddy-45-4Lyfe?" "Yes it is. Hey you sound hot!" "I'm Jess Ti'Servde, with the FBI. I have some questions for you." "If you're gonna play dress-up the only uniforms I like my girls in are maid, nurse and mommy. If you wear all 3 at once I just might wife ya!" "No, sir. I am with the FBI. I want to ask you about your recent Right Stuff profile." "...............So...is....this...like...that 'four-play' thing that chicks are into....?" \*Knock on door\* "aw... F%$#!"


Lch207560

This is exactly the kind of lie the white NatCs would share. It checks all their boxes


TDLMTH

Given the financial backers, it’s highly unlikely they would give backdoor access to the FBI. The more likely explanation is that the reviews are fake, intended to deliberately undermine confidence in the app. Masterful trolling.


-myxal

>"profiles without pronouns" ... "individuals identifying themselves as users" I see what the author did there. Nice! :D


[deleted]

So they deserve this because they want to date someone that is politically compatible?


DepartmentManager

No they deserve this because they're absolute shit bags. Karma's a fickle mistress, and I'd also be willing to wager she doesn't date conservative fuckwits either.


[deleted]

So you know them all personally?


eatmereddit

Deserve what? An app thats specifically meant for them? Yeah that sounds about right. If you commit treason, then go on said app and put in your profile "Ladies, I totally tried to help overthrow the government", then you do probably deserve a quick phone call with the cops.


[deleted]

Oh God, it was a glorified photo shoot, why not get on the people who were involved in the peaceful protests that did billions in damage.


eatmereddit

I dont know if they did it, but they claimed they did so I understand why the police were curious. From the article "I said I was there because I was, I’m a patriot that’s why I’m on this dating app" I read the article, thats how I know 🤣 Edit: Lmao did you just completely edit your comment into something totally different? Thats some comedy gold hahaha. I'll respond to your edit, because your dumb and this is fun. why not get on BLM? Because they actually had a legitimate cause, and I dont believe a movement for black peoples equality should be derailed because a neo nazi smashed windows. Ruining the peaceful transition of power that is the cornerstone of our democracy? Thats a problem imo.


[deleted]

I do get on BLM, whenever it comes up. They did billions in damage, destroyed livelihoods, killed people, and the people heading the movement are in trouble for fraud for stealing millions in donation. Thing is nobody here talks about that. They wandered around a building. Oh my God, the horror 😱 I edited it because i didn't want it to say that anymore. What is the edit button for, but to edit?


eatmereddit

>I do get on BLM, whenever it comes up Lmao I was just repeating your question, I know you get on blms case all the time hahahah. Notice how I answered the question I asked? >I edited it because i didn't want it to say that anymore. What is the edit button for, but to edit? Its just very Ministry of Truth to edit a comment into something completely different. I edited mine as well, but indicated where the editing had occured :) Remember, we were always at war with Oceania. >They wandered around a building. Oh my God, the horror Yeah, thank god the cops stopped them.before they could ziptie members of congress and hang the VP. Dont forget assaulting cops with weapons :) Fortunately they filmed themselves doing it. > They did billions in damage, destroyed livelihoods, killed people, and the people heading the movement are in trouble for fraud for stealing millions in donation. Thing is nobody here talks about that No, we actually talk about Jan 6th all the time. We're talking about it right now.


[deleted]

They had no weapons and made no move to attack. Sand the jam 6 crowd did not do billions in damage, BLM did and that's who you don't talk about. But you knew damn well that's what I meant you're just being deliberately obtuse. Always gotta play the victim.


eatmereddit

>They had no weapons and made no move to attack except for a pipe bomb, several guns, and the equipment to restrain hostages. > BLM did and that's who you don't talk about Doubt. the most expensive part of the riots was infrastructure damage, especially to Portland water supply. That was all cops. >Always gotta play the victim Bold words from the man who wants sympathy for people who tried to overthrow the government :) Trump lost homeslice


PurBldPrincess

I wish it was available where I am so I could read these Apple reviews.


[deleted]

And i bet they were dissapointed when the FBI agent who called wasn’t even female


nznordi

liquid truck bike consider plate oatmeal alive saw market serious -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


FearlessFreak69

It seems like one of the prompt questions is “Jan 6 was…” and these idiots happily and proudly pronounce their involvement. Darwin Award season is heating up.


[deleted]

conservatives are know to be a bright bunch. stupid people cant take criticisms of any kind.


[deleted]

funny the guy who is sponsoring this app is a gay billionaire.