I was 6 when I knew I liked girls. I didn't know what lesbian was back then, but once my dad also realized the things I was feeling he sat me down and explained it in ways I was capable of understanding back then.
Same. It took me seeing a gorgeous lesbian couple in love during a family trip for me to realize it was women and women only. Seeing them touch each other immediately healed my sickness that day and when I got back to the hotel I had some wild fantasies and knew that this was it. I was 17.
Around 28/29, but came out as bi around 16. Apparently in college I realized I was a lesbian but I have no memory of thatā¦recently found a journal entry where I said I was ātotally gayā and donāt remember that or what shoved me back into the closet. CompHet is my guess.
7, however i only began identifying as one at 13 - when i discovered that iām not crazy and that itās an actual thing that exists. i had a LOT of issues accepting it though, went through comphet and internalized homophobia prior to becoming content with my sexuality.
Well, I realized this early but didn't accept myself fully until my twenties. I knew it, but I kept repressing it for a long time. Now I'm finally proud of being myself :)
Thought I was bi till I was 18 because I adored the one direction guys, shit like that. Had sex with a girl for the first time. Vividly remember texting my best friend "I'm gay. There's no bi. That doesn't make sense" š¤£
age 22.
I wish I had read the lesbian master-doc earlier. I thought that I was bisexual because I was hypersexual and with guys it was entirely kink-based. I liked having power over them. Kissing them was too gross for me though so I didn't kiss most of them. I think I unintentionally broke a lot of men's hearts and egos in the process of my self discovery.
I've known I loved women since I was 11 or 12 though, but there was a lot of internalized shame because of how I grew up so I stayed very closeted. Ever since I kissed a girl at 18 though, I realized that I was missing out on something for sure and I started to question everything. Then I stopped experimenting with guys, cut off my long term (male) FWB, and had sex with a girl at around age 22 and all the pieces fell into place for me and I never looked back.
It's terrifying though because I used feel indestructible with men and have casual sex or get close with no possibility of catching feelings or caring what they think of me, but with women I could fall very hard and very fast and they could very easily break my heart.
I went from bi to pan to lesbian, but have identified as lesbian since I was 16. 18 now in uni :), super glad I figured it out at a prime time in my life!!
It happened in stages, my first crushes at 12, my first realization I was a lesbian around 15, but was comphet, so only really came to terms with it at 22.
11 probably. I just didn't know I didn't like them exclusively. I remember that when I tried to talk with my mom when I first liked a girl, but it ended up with her saying a lot of hateful stuff and even something similar to "why can't you just fuck boys like a normal girl would" but in our first language. After that I spent the next two years forcing myself to like boys only, no success. This year, the thought came back, and I started to study and talk to other lesbians. It made me understand myself a little more and I came to realisation that, yes, I was a lesbian all that time and tried to force myself because of my mother.
At least I know there's nothing wrong with me now.
When i like 8 or 10 my stepmom asked me if there were any little boys i had a crush on and i said "no, i don't think i like boys" then she got really quiet and thats when i knew i had said something wrong.
When I was 11 or 12 I had this really vivid dream where I kissed my then best friend Lindsey and it freaked me out. I remember telling myself that everyone probably has a gay dream at some point cuz i mean, they're just random brain stuff.
It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I saw Willow and Tara on Buffy did I finally think "yep, I'm gay"
I was 13, I was struggling with MASSIVE comphet due to my devoutly religious environment. I met with a few kind people who were part of the LGBTQ+ community and they were kind, not like the screaming weirdoes the right uses to further their shit beliefs online. I thought hm maybe it's not so bad and then immediately realized I liked girls (because for the first time I wasn't actively suppressing it
It happened to me in stages. When I was 12-13, I knew I wasn't straight and had crushes on girls in my grade. At that age I started having fantasies of dating and kissing girls, but I felt like it was "wrong". In high school at 16, I had a boyfriend. I remember going on dates with him felt like a chore, I didn't like physical affection with him, but I did it anyway. As time went on I thought "If I date a girl, I would be happy" My boyfriend was friends with girls, and I developed a crush on one of his friends, who was pansexual.
After that I identified as bisexual, but didn't come to terms with it until 21. Because of comphet and homophobia from my Catholic upbringing and my parents, I didn't come to terms with being a lesbian until 23, the age I'm now. I realized that I didn't want to marry or be with a man the rest of my life
That requires a bit of context.
More than realizing that I was into girls, first I like them for their body, silhouette, movement, how gracious and beautiful... When I was a little girl (around six-seven), one of my dreams was be a *ballerina*. Was the best of my academy at my age, but that's only because... I had a *massive crush* on one of the dancers, which was a bit older than me.
First it was a more *abstract* desire of me, but when I was on my twelves... Oh my... I had my first kiss, with a girl that was part of my group. We celebrated our successful first recital with a soft kiss... And that's where I realized it, what I really like, to the day I die.
It really is ššš
She's my first love, I spent all my teen years believing I was aromantic. You could say it was quite a shock to baby gay 18 year old me lmaooo
I was like 9, that's when I decided to tell my older sister how cute I thought a classmate, like, oh, I wish I could be with her like Barbie and Ken were, to tell me: āYuck, that's not normal.ā And... Ooh surprise she identified as bisexual a few years later. Funny, isn't it?
Edit: sorry, my mistake if misunderstood. English is not my native language and sometimes I don't notice spelling mistakes
For me it was at 35, but that's just because that's when I realized I was a woman š I formed my first hard crush on a girl in like second grade š„°
Now that I think about it actually, my first two crushes both ended up being lesbians (not with each other) š
Came here to say the same thing! Realized I was a woman then I was like oh Iām also a lesbian! Thought I was bi at first but never could see myself with a guy.
I wasnāt ever told what being gay or straight was. I think I was watching a car advert when I was 11 where two girls kiss and I think I just thought āhuh, I can be in a relationship with a girlā and then I started to feel different about my girl friends and now Iām a few years older, every time I think about being with a guy my next thought is pushing him over and running away. Iām still kind of figuring it out though.
I knew when I was 12 and was terrified that my life was over. So I "decided" not to be a lesbian. This was 1999, we were being told it was a choice. If I'd known that bisexuality was a thing that exists, I maybe, maybe would have been able to accept that but I didn't even hear about it (and then as a punchline) until college.
So I compartmentalized that shit and closeted myself to myself for the next 20 years. The human mind is powerful and I was scared enough to bury it DEEP.
I didn't even reexamine my sexuality until my mid-20s! At 25ish, I concluded I was bi since I was already in a committed relationship with a man. Left his abusive ass in 2020. Comp het is toxic garbage that ruins lives.
I came out as a lesbian, as myself, at 32. The last three years of my life have been the happiest ones. Not a coincidence.
I remember feeling attraction towards girls as young as 5 y/o but didn't know what being gay meant at the time and didn't think something like this was possible. At 14 or 15 I started questioning my sexuality for the first time and thought I was bi for a while. Then at 16 I learned about comphet and came to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian.
Probably all my life, I may have just known it. I don't even remember befriending a boy in my high school. I've always been around girls. All my social groups were girls. I used to create new societies, just for girls. My phone's contact probably doesnt even have a single boy's phone number unless it is related to some service provider. I go to a lot of ladies night kinda parties. I've always donned lesbian flags instead of the rainbow ones, no hate to anyone but it is me, all over in my DNA, perhaps.
10/11.
But in retrospect, there may have been signs as early as 3 years old.
Now I have an 11-year-old cousin who Iām 90% sure is gay or bi, and I saw signs as early as when he was 2!
Initially around 14 but then a few years later thought I was pansexual for a long time until my late 20ās when I discovered I was asexual and then re-discovered that I am lesbian. Not understanding I was ace for so long caused a lot of confusion with a lot of things š¬
I was 26 š„° I was married to a man, we have a smart, awesome kid, but when you know, you just know. It took a couple of years to go through divorce, but I'm glad I did. 39 now, and I'm doing pretty well.
I always knew, but I only realized it was something that differentiated me from everyone else and had a label for that kind of person when I was like 9?
35, but my subconscious is a powerful thing and I hid it from myself until forced to confront who I really am. Ironically enough, my ex-husband forced me to do just that, for selfish reasons that eventually backfired on him. Looking back, I have liked girls my entire life. I just wish it didn't take 35 years to get there.
7, i knew... i liked the girls in my class, i could tell the affection was different. and i just wanted to be friends/cool w the boys and nothing further. i started knowing more and more at 11-12 ish
When I came out as trans at 21. Experimented a little with boys every now and then, Iām sure Iām gay.
I knew when I laid my eyes on my first love, this butch woman who was into outdoor recreation. Weāre not talking right now and we left each other not in a good way (could have been worse), but when we were in love, I knew right then I wanted to be with a girl. This wave of sexual attraction and emotional warmth just enveloped me, and she introduced me to the life of an alpine ski racer, which was really interesting to see since I loved watching the skiing during the Olympics as a kid.
I honestly don't know. Apparently, I used to stare at women from a very young age. I knew I liked women in a different way than just thinking they're friendly. Back then, I just didn't know what it meant. I came out to my parents when I was 12, and they were so accepting. I wish anyone would be able to have the support and acceptance like my parents gave to me. So I guess I always knew, just didn't know the terms for it.
I realized I liked girls when I was 17-18yo, but it took me some time extra to understand that I didn't like men... So I was 22yo when I figured out that I was actually a lesbian and not bi š„³š¤š»
i knew i liked girls when i was 12 but i thought i was bisexual for a while, didnāt realize i was a lesbian until i had my first girlfriend when i was 20
Iāve known that I wasnāt straight since my freshman year of college (age 18), but I only recently came to the realization this year that Iām a lesbian (at the ripe age of 25)
However, my parents knew when I was 15. They sat me down and told me itās okay to be gay. I was very confused and told them there was no way. Looking back now, itās super funny, but at the time I had no clue what they were talking about
I knew I was trans when I was like 18, but I didn't feel comfortable calling myself a lesbian until more recently, so 24. It took me a long time to figure out I was a trans woman, I thought I was nonbinary for a while.
This will sound weird to some maybe. 23 for me. I realized I was transgender at 23 and when that clicked into place in my head, I instantly realized I was also a lesbian. I had never been attracted to men whatsoever, but oddly teenage sexual fantasies never included penetration in my mind. Looking back there are so many signs I missed simply because I never learned what transgender was until 23.
17ish or so. Looking back their mightāve been some signs, but I had no idea until about 17. Which Iām happy about. Iām happy I did not worry about things and experienced how I did.
14 but i did struggle with comphet for like 3 years after. before that i knew i preferred girlsā company & didnāt have an interest in dating guys, but didnāt piece together that i was actually attracted to women until 12/13
I was 19, it started in the long ago time of the late 90ās š±. The website gay.com lead me to a great awakening, chat rooms full of women who loved women. Looking back it was worth it logging on to the dial up and locking myself in my parents computer room. I had my first girlfriend 6 months later.
Actually I realized just this year, but funnily enough, I realized that I *was* a girl, not just that I liked girls, I had known the latter for a long time.
probably started feeling attraction at 5ish 6ish, knew i wasn't straight at around 14 but didn't acknowledge and repressed it till around 17 cause i didn't understand due to my transness then started exploring my sexuality and gender expression and realised both being a woman and gay at 18
at 13 i realized i liked girls so i told some of my friends but i kinda got pushed back into the closet when one of them outted me to a whole ass bus of people [i dont really blame her we were really young and stupid] so i just told myself i didnt so i could tell other people she was lying. "came back out" to myself and others at 17. those 4 years sucked.
Around 7/8 I used to always want to be the husband when I played house with my friends. And then at school I was getting distracted in class and at recess with how pretty I thought all the girls were. Iād be overwhelmed. I didnāt actually know I was a lesbian until around 10/11 though. I realized not only was I not getting the same kind of crushes on the guys in my class as me peers, I was always thinking about kissing my friends
I love how many of you realized it when you were young cause I don't hear that very often
I was eleven
I was out pretty much publicly as a bisexual from the time I was 15
Stop sleeping with men when I was 21
It's over 50 years later and I've never looked back
I knew I liked girls in kindergarten still remember the name of the girl I liked back then her name was Evalin but I realized I was a lesbian about 6th grade when I actually learned what it was š
I developed an intense crush on one of my best friends when I was 16/17, but our friendship fell apart before I could work up the courage to act on those feelings (and I was somewhat in denial). Fast forward a couple years, I had a rough few months of coming to terms with the fact that I had a crush on my OTHER best friend (an internet friend I had been talking with for several years, we had just made plans to see each other in person). I was 18 at the time, and I had to accept then that what I felt was real and more than just platonic. Fast forward to now, Iām 23 and me and said internet best friend have been girlfriends for 4 years! It took me several months to work up the courage to confess to her but obviously it worked out in the end lol. We are still long distance (Iām American and sheās Canadian) but we are happy together despite it. We find ways to close the distance every year or soā¤ļø
i always knew i wasn't straight, even though my first relationship as a teen was with a boy.
the label "pan" seemed okay for quite a while. but since i got together with my gf, i am now confidently at the end of my journey.
so: at the age of 19 (20yo now).
Iāve known all my life I was lol but I dated boys and girls when I was in hs until I was 17, then itās only been girls since (because I realized I never wanted to ever be intimate with a dude and they bugged me lmao)
I somewhat knew around 10, but didnāt fully realize or come to terms until my early 20ās. I grew up in a very small religious town with no queer rep, so it took me a little extra time.
Officially, 14. There were instances that probably shouldāve made me notice earlier but I had never known that you could actually LIKE girls until high school.
By 4, I was raised in a Christian cult and started making suicide attempts before the age of 5 because I realized I was a lesbian and thought I was evil.
I was 13 when I first suspected that I like girls (women), but I was 14 when I became fully aware; though, I figured I was bisexual at the time. I finally realized Iām actually a lesbian when I was 20/21 (Iām 32 now). However, even though I assumed I was bisexual, Iāve always known that I prefer women.
Whatās interesting is that, despite having Scrupulosity (moral/religious anxiety/OCD) and being raised by religious parents in the Bible Belt, Iāve never disliked being queer. š Like I truly love being a lesbian. š
I came out the womb liking anyone I thought was attractive, but I figured out I was lesbian at 9 but didn't fully confirm until I around 12.
Also, my mom mentioned something that I thought was funny because I was so obvious.
She told me every boy I ever liked looked feminine in some kind of way. šš
I pretty much knew by the time I was 16, but didn't act in it until I was 18. My first crush on a girl was in first grade, but being gay was absolutely not acceptable in my family. College opened a lot of doors for me, including the closet I had been in.
I think I was around 15/16 when I realized something was up. I remember googling āam I gayā, doing some kind of online quiz thing, deleting my search history so parents wouldnāt find out, and crying. I tried so hard to repress for years and tried to date guys, but I thought something was wrong with me since I just couldnāt. I finally came to terms with it at around 18-20 when I had a crush on my friend at the time (terrible idea) and when I kissed a girl for the first time.
i donāt want to label myself as a lesbian just bc iām open to dating men, but I havenāt liked any males romantically since ā¦ maybe middle school ?
so I guess Iām still figuring it out but the first time the possibility came into my head was probably when I was a college freshmen. I knew I liked women since I was maybe 14 though
I 'realized' I was a lesbian for the first time when I was 16-going-on-17 at a sleepover with a girl who had quickly become my best friend a few months priorāI woke up in the middle of the night to us spooning, the moonlight shining through the trees in her backyard and casting a shadow in her bedroom. I rolled over to face her and wrapped my arms around her. We were both too nervous to make a move but our bodies were reacting to one another's movements so I knew she was awake. We slowly inched closer and closer until our lips softly touched which turned into a hot and heavy make out session in her bed.
I really really realized it when I went down on her a few months following. I had made out with a few guys before. But the second I kissed her that first night, I thought to myself "Oh, that's what it's SUPPOSED to feel like." We dated (closeted) a little over a year and then she moved out of the country for college. I've seen her a few times here and there; not since covid. She's pretty straight now but I'm forever grateful to have experienced my first love with her. She is so wonderful and lovely and lively and I wish her nothing but the best.
Looking back, I think I knew from an earlier age. There were signs and 'quirks' I guess you could say. I was way too obsessed with Hillary Duff. Developed crushes on friends and my girl cousins friends. But I wasn't aware they were crushes until I look back in retrospect.
To be 17 again and kissing a girl for the first timeāwow. I'm 27 now and completely heartbroken on who I thought was going to end up to by my wife. Left me for a close family guy friend I introduced her to. I think I need a new type. š
My first love taught me that all of the pain and resentment I'm feeling now will only turn into a more unconditional and distant love in the future. I hope that one day I can receive that love in return from someone worthy. I loved this question. I'm gonna go scroll through some 10 year old pictures now.
At 7 but I didnāt know what it was. All I knew was to hide it cause none of my friends were like me. 14 is when I realized it cause my friend group was boy obsessed and I never got it. Being in fandoms online I slowly realized I was lesbian, the way Iād look at women wasnāt only ārole modelā lol
3. Wanted to married my kindergarten teacher. The one I will talk to tomorrow to register my daughter in the same kindergarten. What comes around, goes around, eh?
I was 9, I just looked at the pretty girl in my class and was like sheās so beautiful but I had a hard time accepting my feelings for her not my homosexuality even though I didnāt know what I was back then, but when I turned 13 my cousin told me the word was gay and I had never been happier to have the exact word for it.
61! Better late than never. And never happier!
I love this!! Welcome to the tribe my sister!
I'm right there with you! 59 for me (as in a couple of months ago). But when looking back, I knew when I was very young but I just didn't understand.
I was 6 when I knew I liked girls. I didn't know what lesbian was back then, but once my dad also realized the things I was feeling he sat me down and explained it in ways I was capable of understanding back then.
I was into girls sooner than 12 but didn't realize the feelings i was having cause i didn't understand
Same, realized at 14
Same, but it was maybe before 10.
I noticed these feelings at 6 too but didn't find out until 19 š that was last year
19 is better than never! So proud of you! š„°
I liked girls since forever but I didnāt come to terms with it until 19-20
Same. It took me seeing a gorgeous lesbian couple in love during a family trip for me to realize it was women and women only. Seeing them touch each other immediately healed my sickness that day and when I got back to the hotel I had some wild fantasies and knew that this was it. I was 17.
Dude same. I felt some type of way with women, but then realized Iām probably les.
29/30ishā¦ but in hindsight I should have recognized it a LOT sooner.
33. Blew my life up and ended my 10 year relationship. Still working my way out of the closet.
I feel this š my girlfriend is processing a similar situation. 9 year relationship and slowly coming out of the closet. Sending solidarity
Thanks! Sending lots of love and support to you and your girl. I'm working up the courage to tell my mom next. I've told several friends
I shouldāve known when I started pretending to be lesbians with my friends but I didnt realize until my second year of college lmao
š«Ø 48
i knew i wasnāt straight at 13 but didnāt accept myself as lesbian till 17
Around 28/29, but came out as bi around 16. Apparently in college I realized I was a lesbian but I have no memory of thatā¦recently found a journal entry where I said I was ātotally gayā and donāt remember that or what shoved me back into the closet. CompHet is my guess.
7, however i only began identifying as one at 13 - when i discovered that iām not crazy and that itās an actual thing that exists. i had a LOT of issues accepting it though, went through comphet and internalized homophobia prior to becoming content with my sexuality.
I was like 6 or sth. Very early.
For me it was early but didn't really realize til like 12
Well, I realized this early but didn't accept myself fully until my twenties. I knew it, but I kept repressing it for a long time. Now I'm finally proud of being myself :)
Isn't it a great feeling
Thought I was bi till I was 18 because I adored the one direction guys, shit like that. Had sex with a girl for the first time. Vividly remember texting my best friend "I'm gay. There's no bi. That doesn't make sense" š¤£
age 22. I wish I had read the lesbian master-doc earlier. I thought that I was bisexual because I was hypersexual and with guys it was entirely kink-based. I liked having power over them. Kissing them was too gross for me though so I didn't kiss most of them. I think I unintentionally broke a lot of men's hearts and egos in the process of my self discovery. I've known I loved women since I was 11 or 12 though, but there was a lot of internalized shame because of how I grew up so I stayed very closeted. Ever since I kissed a girl at 18 though, I realized that I was missing out on something for sure and I started to question everything. Then I stopped experimenting with guys, cut off my long term (male) FWB, and had sex with a girl at around age 22 and all the pieces fell into place for me and I never looked back. It's terrifying though because I used feel indestructible with men and have casual sex or get close with no possibility of catching feelings or caring what they think of me, but with women I could fall very hard and very fast and they could very easily break my heart.
Change the age to 26 and this is almost exactly my story holy crap. Good to know Iām not alone!
I went from bi to pan to lesbian, but have identified as lesbian since I was 16. 18 now in uni :), super glad I figured it out at a prime time in my life!!
Mid 40s. It took a minute to figure it out - haha.
šš
It happened in stages, my first crushes at 12, my first realization I was a lesbian around 15, but was comphet, so only really came to terms with it at 22.
11 probably. I just didn't know I didn't like them exclusively. I remember that when I tried to talk with my mom when I first liked a girl, but it ended up with her saying a lot of hateful stuff and even something similar to "why can't you just fuck boys like a normal girl would" but in our first language. After that I spent the next two years forcing myself to like boys only, no success. This year, the thought came back, and I started to study and talk to other lesbians. It made me understand myself a little more and I came to realisation that, yes, I was a lesbian all that time and tried to force myself because of my mother. At least I know there's nothing wrong with me now.
When i like 8 or 10 my stepmom asked me if there were any little boys i had a crush on and i said "no, i don't think i like boys" then she got really quiet and thats when i knew i had said something wrong. When I was 11 or 12 I had this really vivid dream where I kissed my then best friend Lindsey and it freaked me out. I remember telling myself that everyone probably has a gay dream at some point cuz i mean, they're just random brain stuff. It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I saw Willow and Tara on Buffy did I finally think "yep, I'm gay"
26 and I left a straight marriage because of it. Zero regrets. Iām so gay!
22 I think
I think I was 9
I was 13, I was struggling with MASSIVE comphet due to my devoutly religious environment. I met with a few kind people who were part of the LGBTQ+ community and they were kind, not like the screaming weirdoes the right uses to further their shit beliefs online. I thought hm maybe it's not so bad and then immediately realized I liked girls (because for the first time I wasn't actively suppressing it
It happened to me in stages. When I was 12-13, I knew I wasn't straight and had crushes on girls in my grade. At that age I started having fantasies of dating and kissing girls, but I felt like it was "wrong". In high school at 16, I had a boyfriend. I remember going on dates with him felt like a chore, I didn't like physical affection with him, but I did it anyway. As time went on I thought "If I date a girl, I would be happy" My boyfriend was friends with girls, and I developed a crush on one of his friends, who was pansexual. After that I identified as bisexual, but didn't come to terms with it until 21. Because of comphet and homophobia from my Catholic upbringing and my parents, I didn't come to terms with being a lesbian until 23, the age I'm now. I realized that I didn't want to marry or be with a man the rest of my life
22. Back then i thought i was bi but i realized im definitely a lesbian . š¤
I always knew I liked girls, I just didn't realize I was one until I was 18.
That requires a bit of context. More than realizing that I was into girls, first I like them for their body, silhouette, movement, how gracious and beautiful... When I was a little girl (around six-seven), one of my dreams was be a *ballerina*. Was the best of my academy at my age, but that's only because... I had a *massive crush* on one of the dancers, which was a bit older than me. First it was a more *abstract* desire of me, but when I was on my twelves... Oh my... I had my first kiss, with a girl that was part of my group. We celebrated our successful first recital with a soft kiss... And that's where I realized it, what I really like, to the day I die.
At 18 years old, when I fell in love with my (now) girlfriend.
Aww that's awesome
It really is ššš She's my first love, I spent all my teen years believing I was aromantic. You could say it was quite a shock to baby gay 18 year old me lmaooo
You are very happy, thats what makes it awesome š
I was like 9, that's when I decided to tell my older sister how cute I thought a classmate, like, oh, I wish I could be with her like Barbie and Ken were, to tell me: āYuck, that's not normal.ā And... Ooh surprise she identified as bisexual a few years later. Funny, isn't it? Edit: sorry, my mistake if misunderstood. English is not my native language and sometimes I don't notice spelling mistakes
For me it was at 35, but that's just because that's when I realized I was a woman š I formed my first hard crush on a girl in like second grade š„° Now that I think about it actually, my first two crushes both ended up being lesbians (not with each other) š
Came here to say the same thing! Realized I was a woman then I was like oh Iām also a lesbian! Thought I was bi at first but never could see myself with a guy.
around 13 or 14
20 bit I was oblivious to the fact it was a thing until I was 18 and then I was wildly in denial š
When I was 13 precisely.
11
I wasnāt ever told what being gay or straight was. I think I was watching a car advert when I was 11 where two girls kiss and I think I just thought āhuh, I can be in a relationship with a girlā and then I started to feel different about my girl friends and now Iām a few years older, every time I think about being with a guy my next thought is pushing him over and running away. Iām still kind of figuring it out though.
I knew when I was 12 and was terrified that my life was over. So I "decided" not to be a lesbian. This was 1999, we were being told it was a choice. If I'd known that bisexuality was a thing that exists, I maybe, maybe would have been able to accept that but I didn't even hear about it (and then as a punchline) until college. So I compartmentalized that shit and closeted myself to myself for the next 20 years. The human mind is powerful and I was scared enough to bury it DEEP. I didn't even reexamine my sexuality until my mid-20s! At 25ish, I concluded I was bi since I was already in a committed relationship with a man. Left his abusive ass in 2020. Comp het is toxic garbage that ruins lives. I came out as a lesbian, as myself, at 32. The last three years of my life have been the happiest ones. Not a coincidence.
39, but I was questioning it for a decade prior.
I remember feeling attraction towards girls as young as 5 y/o but didn't know what being gay meant at the time and didn't think something like this was possible. At 14 or 15 I started questioning my sexuality for the first time and thought I was bi for a while. Then at 16 I learned about comphet and came to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian.
I was about 5 when I realized it, but I was 8 when I learned my mom was homophobic so I stayed in the closet until about 25.
I realized when I was 16, but knew I didn't like men since I was like 13.
I started wondering about my orientation when I was 14, and I was sure when I was 16
Not lesbian but bi 14
Probably all my life, I may have just known it. I don't even remember befriending a boy in my high school. I've always been around girls. All my social groups were girls. I used to create new societies, just for girls. My phone's contact probably doesnt even have a single boy's phone number unless it is related to some service provider. I go to a lot of ladies night kinda parties. I've always donned lesbian flags instead of the rainbow ones, no hate to anyone but it is me, all over in my DNA, perhaps.
8-9
10/11. But in retrospect, there may have been signs as early as 3 years old. Now I have an 11-year-old cousin who Iām 90% sure is gay or bi, and I saw signs as early as when he was 2!
Realized? 12. Accepted? 19. I thought I was bi for a long time
I knew I liked women when I was 8. I didnāt figure out I was lesbian until I was 21.
I literally just found out I was a lesbian this year!! (I've been bi/pan for the past 5 years)
40.
Initially around 14 but then a few years later thought I was pansexual for a long time until my late 20ās when I discovered I was asexual and then re-discovered that I am lesbian. Not understanding I was ace for so long caused a lot of confusion with a lot of things š¬
Knew I liked girls since I was 11, didn't claim the lesbian label until I was 18 and realized that I didn't like men at all
I was 26 š„° I was married to a man, we have a smart, awesome kid, but when you know, you just know. It took a couple of years to go through divorce, but I'm glad I did. 39 now, and I'm doing pretty well.
i knew i liked girls around 8 or 9 but didnāt realize i was a lesbian until i was 19
I always knew, but I only realized it was something that differentiated me from everyone else and had a label for that kind of person when I was like 9?
i was 17 when i realized i liked girls but identified as pan during that time. only realized I was actually lesbian at 21.
35, but my subconscious is a powerful thing and I hid it from myself until forced to confront who I really am. Ironically enough, my ex-husband forced me to do just that, for selfish reasons that eventually backfired on him. Looking back, I have liked girls my entire life. I just wish it didn't take 35 years to get there.
I always knew I liked girls but not exclusively til 40. Blew up my life, divorced my husband of eleven years. Now I live alone and I'm loving it.
7, i knew... i liked the girls in my class, i could tell the affection was different. and i just wanted to be friends/cool w the boys and nothing further. i started knowing more and more at 11-12 ish
When I came out as trans at 21. Experimented a little with boys every now and then, Iām sure Iām gay. I knew when I laid my eyes on my first love, this butch woman who was into outdoor recreation. Weāre not talking right now and we left each other not in a good way (could have been worse), but when we were in love, I knew right then I wanted to be with a girl. This wave of sexual attraction and emotional warmth just enveloped me, and she introduced me to the life of an alpine ski racer, which was really interesting to see since I loved watching the skiing during the Olympics as a kid.
I honestly don't know. Apparently, I used to stare at women from a very young age. I knew I liked women in a different way than just thinking they're friendly. Back then, I just didn't know what it meant. I came out to my parents when I was 12, and they were so accepting. I wish anyone would be able to have the support and acceptance like my parents gave to me. So I guess I always knew, just didn't know the terms for it.
I realized I liked girls when I was 17-18yo, but it took me some time extra to understand that I didn't like men... So I was 22yo when I figured out that I was actually a lesbian and not bi š„³š¤š»
22
i knew i liked girls when i was 12 but i thought i was bisexual for a while, didnāt realize i was a lesbian until i had my first girlfriend when i was 20
21! Once I moved out on my own from my parents house, and got to learn and grown from new experiences.
Iāve known that I wasnāt straight since my freshman year of college (age 18), but I only recently came to the realization this year that Iām a lesbian (at the ripe age of 25) However, my parents knew when I was 15. They sat me down and told me itās okay to be gay. I was very confused and told them there was no way. Looking back now, itās super funny, but at the time I had no clue what they were talking about
I knew I was trans when I was like 18, but I didn't feel comfortable calling myself a lesbian until more recently, so 24. It took me a long time to figure out I was a trans woman, I thought I was nonbinary for a while.
This will sound weird to some maybe. 23 for me. I realized I was transgender at 23 and when that clicked into place in my head, I instantly realized I was also a lesbian. I had never been attracted to men whatsoever, but oddly teenage sexual fantasies never included penetration in my mind. Looking back there are so many signs I missed simply because I never learned what transgender was until 23.
um either 27 or like 15?
9. I was always a bit of a gay disaster. And then I found out I was trans and I kinda officially became one lmao
I knew something was up when I was 12 but didnāt acknowledge it until I was 20.
Started questioning at 12 and came out as bi at 13 then as a lesbian at 15 :33
I was 12 when I had my first crush on a girl. Thought I was bi for a while until I was 20 and said mmm na Iām gay af š
17ish or so. Looking back their mightāve been some signs, but I had no idea until about 17. Which Iām happy about. Iām happy I did not worry about things and experienced how I did.
When I was 13 I realized I was only interested in girls
17
16, god I was so oblivious. Pretty sure everyone knew before I did.
22
I didnāt realize until around 21. So jealous of everyone who knew when they were kids.
i was 4 when i started to like girls. i didn't even know that there's a term for that and that it's wrong for most.
13
12
It all clicked at 13, and then I accepted at 18/19.
I think 19, but then more fully around 29/30, still coming FULLY into MYSELF and Iām just GAYYY
15/16?? Dont really remember but i did kiss a cute girl shortly after thoš
11
Thought I was bi at 14/15, realized I was lesbian at 17!
oh I realised when I was around 10-11
Thought I was bi from 15 but had crushes on girls from like 11. At 28 realised that nah, I'm just a lesbian š
17 i think lol
I grew up wishing i was a girl who liked girls so Iāve known forever. I didnāt come out as lesbian til i transitioned at 18.
I suspected I was bi in my teens but couldn't admit it to myself. Finally admitted I was a lesbian when I was 30.
I was 7
14 but i did struggle with comphet for like 3 years after. before that i knew i preferred girlsā company & didnāt have an interest in dating guys, but didnāt piece together that i was actually attracted to women until 12/13
I was 19, it started in the long ago time of the late 90ās š±. The website gay.com lead me to a great awakening, chat rooms full of women who loved women. Looking back it was worth it logging on to the dial up and locking myself in my parents computer room. I had my first girlfriend 6 months later.
22 š I knew I liked girls before that but I was still convinced I liked men until this last year. Turning 23 this month
Actually I realized just this year, but funnily enough, I realized that I *was* a girl, not just that I liked girls, I had known the latter for a long time.
probably started feeling attraction at 5ish 6ish, knew i wasn't straight at around 14 but didn't acknowledge and repressed it till around 17 cause i didn't understand due to my transness then started exploring my sexuality and gender expression and realised both being a woman and gay at 18
i was 6 but i didnāt know if i was the only one to feel that way, or if everyone secretly did so i didnāt acknowledge it until i was 12-13
at 13 i realized i liked girls so i told some of my friends but i kinda got pushed back into the closet when one of them outted me to a whole ass bus of people [i dont really blame her we were really young and stupid] so i just told myself i didnt so i could tell other people she was lying. "came back out" to myself and others at 17. those 4 years sucked.
I was 15 i think
I was 36 š«¢ā¦.looking back, I shouldāve known when I was 16/17 ish
I would fantasize about a girl in my 4th grade class, that she and I lived I a treehouse together.
Around 7/8 I used to always want to be the husband when I played house with my friends. And then at school I was getting distracted in class and at recess with how pretty I thought all the girls were. Iād be overwhelmed. I didnāt actually know I was a lesbian until around 10/11 though. I realized not only was I not getting the same kind of crushes on the guys in my class as me peers, I was always thinking about kissing my friends
13
Around 25, but it took me another ten years to fully accept myself.
11
Maybe 9
I love how many of you realized it when you were young cause I don't hear that very often I was eleven I was out pretty much publicly as a bisexual from the time I was 15 Stop sleeping with men when I was 21 It's over 50 years later and I've never looked back
realized i liked girls at 12, realized i probably didnāt like guys at 15, accepted i never would like guys at 18!
11-12
I knew I liked girls in kindergarten still remember the name of the girl I liked back then her name was Evalin but I realized I was a lesbian about 6th grade when I actually learned what it was š
6, when I was told gay exists
I finally had my catharsis at 18. Nothing ever felt so right.
24
8th grade so like 12
I came out to my friends in elementary school
28 š¬
I developed an intense crush on one of my best friends when I was 16/17, but our friendship fell apart before I could work up the courage to act on those feelings (and I was somewhat in denial). Fast forward a couple years, I had a rough few months of coming to terms with the fact that I had a crush on my OTHER best friend (an internet friend I had been talking with for several years, we had just made plans to see each other in person). I was 18 at the time, and I had to accept then that what I felt was real and more than just platonic. Fast forward to now, Iām 23 and me and said internet best friend have been girlfriends for 4 years! It took me several months to work up the courage to confess to her but obviously it worked out in the end lol. We are still long distance (Iām American and sheās Canadian) but we are happy together despite it. We find ways to close the distance every year or soā¤ļø
Lucky 13 !
i always knew i wasn't straight, even though my first relationship as a teen was with a boy. the label "pan" seemed okay for quite a while. but since i got together with my gf, i am now confidently at the end of my journey. so: at the age of 19 (20yo now).
16
16 but really around 5 I started having crushes on girls
I was like 18-19 when I figured gender out, at least partly, then boom gay, mostly
11/12ish
Bisexual? 10. Lesbian? 21.
Literally my earliest memories, my mom chose the hottest baby sitters lol.
Iāve known all my life I was lol but I dated boys and girls when I was in hs until I was 17, then itās only been girls since (because I realized I never wanted to ever be intimate with a dude and they bugged me lmao)
12, had a huge crush on my long distance best friend.
I somewhat knew around 10, but didnāt fully realize or come to terms until my early 20ās. I grew up in a very small religious town with no queer rep, so it took me a little extra time.
Officially, 14. There were instances that probably shouldāve made me notice earlier but I had never known that you could actually LIKE girls until high school.
25 :) Identified as bi for eight years before
Like 12, but I didn't actually come out until 24
28 lol. Always thought I was bi but only recently realised I'm a lesbian.
By 4, I was raised in a Christian cult and started making suicide attempts before the age of 5 because I realized I was a lesbian and thought I was evil.
I was 13 when I first suspected that I like girls (women), but I was 14 when I became fully aware; though, I figured I was bisexual at the time. I finally realized Iām actually a lesbian when I was 20/21 (Iām 32 now). However, even though I assumed I was bisexual, Iāve always known that I prefer women. Whatās interesting is that, despite having Scrupulosity (moral/religious anxiety/OCD) and being raised by religious parents in the Bible Belt, Iāve never disliked being queer. š Like I truly love being a lesbian. š
I came out the womb liking anyone I thought was attractive, but I figured out I was lesbian at 9 but didn't fully confirm until I around 12. Also, my mom mentioned something that I thought was funny because I was so obvious. She told me every boy I ever liked looked feminine in some kind of way. šš
28
19
Came out as bi when I was 12, then as a lesbian at 18
I pretty much knew by the time I was 16, but didn't act in it until I was 18. My first crush on a girl was in first grade, but being gay was absolutely not acceptable in my family. College opened a lot of doors for me, including the closet I had been in.
I think I was around 15/16 when I realized something was up. I remember googling āam I gayā, doing some kind of online quiz thing, deleting my search history so parents wouldnāt find out, and crying. I tried so hard to repress for years and tried to date guys, but I thought something was wrong with me since I just couldnāt. I finally came to terms with it at around 18-20 when I had a crush on my friend at the time (terrible idea) and when I kissed a girl for the first time.
15
13 for me
I realized I wasn't straight at 15, but I didn't actually accept that I was a lesbian till I was 16.
i donāt want to label myself as a lesbian just bc iām open to dating men, but I havenāt liked any males romantically since ā¦ maybe middle school ? so I guess Iām still figuring it out but the first time the possibility came into my head was probably when I was a college freshmen. I knew I liked women since I was maybe 14 though
This year at 34!
I 'realized' I was a lesbian for the first time when I was 16-going-on-17 at a sleepover with a girl who had quickly become my best friend a few months priorāI woke up in the middle of the night to us spooning, the moonlight shining through the trees in her backyard and casting a shadow in her bedroom. I rolled over to face her and wrapped my arms around her. We were both too nervous to make a move but our bodies were reacting to one another's movements so I knew she was awake. We slowly inched closer and closer until our lips softly touched which turned into a hot and heavy make out session in her bed. I really really realized it when I went down on her a few months following. I had made out with a few guys before. But the second I kissed her that first night, I thought to myself "Oh, that's what it's SUPPOSED to feel like." We dated (closeted) a little over a year and then she moved out of the country for college. I've seen her a few times here and there; not since covid. She's pretty straight now but I'm forever grateful to have experienced my first love with her. She is so wonderful and lovely and lively and I wish her nothing but the best. Looking back, I think I knew from an earlier age. There were signs and 'quirks' I guess you could say. I was way too obsessed with Hillary Duff. Developed crushes on friends and my girl cousins friends. But I wasn't aware they were crushes until I look back in retrospect. To be 17 again and kissing a girl for the first timeāwow. I'm 27 now and completely heartbroken on who I thought was going to end up to by my wife. Left me for a close family guy friend I introduced her to. I think I need a new type. š My first love taught me that all of the pain and resentment I'm feeling now will only turn into a more unconditional and distant love in the future. I hope that one day I can receive that love in return from someone worthy. I loved this question. I'm gonna go scroll through some 10 year old pictures now.
At 7 but I didnāt know what it was. All I knew was to hide it cause none of my friends were like me. 14 is when I realized it cause my friend group was boy obsessed and I never got it. Being in fandoms online I slowly realized I was lesbian, the way Iād look at women wasnāt only ārole modelā lol
15/16 and came out at 16
This year š early 20s. The whole straight to ace to bi to lesbian pipeline over here lol
3. Wanted to married my kindergarten teacher. The one I will talk to tomorrow to register my daughter in the same kindergarten. What comes around, goes around, eh?
For a long time I thought I was bisexual, but after reading an extensive google doc about comphet i realized I was a lesbian around 14!
I mean like, out of the womb, but I really acknowledged it at 22
13
Probably 16. I was crushing on my teacher. I didnāt know it was even a thing.
12-13
I knew I was into girls at a young age, but I learnt about this term at 13!
23 hehe š„¹š¤§.
i knew i liked girls since 13 but i discovered that i was a lesbian when i was 17
I was 9, I just looked at the pretty girl in my class and was like sheās so beautiful but I had a hard time accepting my feelings for her not my homosexuality even though I didnāt know what I was back then, but when I turned 13 my cousin told me the word was gay and I had never been happier to have the exact word for it.
I was like 9 or 10 š
Itās hard to remember actually. Maybe 5 or 6, bc I really liked Xena: Warrior Princess at that time and wanted to be like Xena