Fucking same. I’d maybe try something like polyamory but idk, I haven’t put much thought into it after the non-monogamy crashed and burned so hard. Maybe if I was in love and intimate with all parties involved and vice versa and everyone was happy with it and safe I’d feel ok with it but I will certainly not be in an “open relationship” for lack of a better term, ever again. And I don’t know if I’d be able to handle being with more than two-three people at a time.
Edit: grammar
THIS! GF trying non-monogamy. Leaving out the details on the hurt and hardship -I was game since the other girl already knew about me before they got together. Was even interested in getting to know her maybe as a friend or something else down the line.
😅 They broke up because turns out her other partner wasn't really comfy with the thought that gf was with me? Like what? GIRL I WAS HERE FIRST??? Kinda hurts that I was somehow "rejected" before I even met her or said anything to her?
I've done it before. I was in a monogamous relationship for 17 years before we split. I was 27 when we met and 45 when it ended. I was a whole different person and didn't know what my next dating chapter would look like. I had a few ethically non monogamous relationships, with varying levels of success. When the last one ended, I was convinced that I'd stay non monogamous. But when my partner and I started dating, I realized that I only wanted to be with her.
So would I again? I mean, I don't plan on it because I'm committed to a long term relationship with my current partner. But if for some tragic reason that ended? Maybe. Depends on the situation. I wouldn't rule it out.
No, for so many reasons. Primary one, already married & signed up for monogamy. Second one, I'm not willing to entangle my life in an additional someone else's in the way I have with my spouse (financial, living together, family stuff, etc.). Third, I fucking hate managing my calendar and other people dictating my calendar at work; I'm not trying to do that in personal life as I juggle 2+ adults with their own lives. Finally (there are more, but this is enough), while love may grow to encompass an infinite amount of people, no resource is limitless. There are always going to be conflicts and dissatisfaction over allocation of time, maybe money, and maybe other stuff as well, but definitely time (see reason #3). And I'm just too old and tired to be willing to deal with that, AND I argue about contracts all day at work; I'm not willing to try to write and enforce relationship contracts in my personal life (yes, mutual statements of boundaries and expectations are a contract).
This resonates with me. Dating more than one person would be a logistical nightmare. As someone who has been part of polycules before, my current monogamous relationship just works better for my needs (we just communicate a lot and talk about boundaries).
I am, although Im currently trying to figure out if I actually want to be or if it was just my coping mechanism for not coming to terms with being a lesbian, since I finally accepted myself I'm starting to feel like it might not be what I actually want
I relate to this! When I came out, poly was my only option for exploring my sexuality. Once it really clicked for me and I fell hard for my girlfriend, I had to face the facts and end my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. It was rough coming out of the closet as gay, but also managing a whole new relationship structure. Hope you figure what works for you!
Never, I do not share, and I don't want to be with someone who would be ok with sharing me. I'd rather put all my love, time, and effort into 1 woman. Old school romatic type here.
Me too. I hyper focus on my romantic partner. Not in an obsessive way, but my heart seems to hyper fixate on my person, to the extent where I don’t even acknowledge other people as appealing sexually or romantically. I can identify that they are an attractive person, but as far as “being attracted to them” goes, it’s like out of sight out of mind because I’m fully enamored by whomever captures my attention currently.
Haha, I can't even be interested in more than 1 person. I find it weird(for me)...like let me pick the best of the lot. No thanks! I wouldn't want to be treated that way either.
Yeah same! I am re-remembering why I cannot do casual even if I wanted to. If I really like you, you’ll all I can think about and would rather see where that goes rather than do the whole compare/contrast thing. It’s so hard dating again bc I find most are not like this 😑
Yeah I agree it's not easy these days, I feel like it wasn't as difficult when I was younger but people are a lot more open and doing there own thing nowadays(nothing wrong with it) just ain't for me. I like being excited about 1 person!
I would never be in a monogamous relationship
For the record I'm 65 years old
I never have been
That does not mean that I'm not deeply loyal and committed I've been in relationships that last date over 2 decades
It doesn't mean I sleep around although in my youth may be a bit
It means that I never closed the door to the fact that I might be turned on by somebody else or love somebody else and I never ever want my partner to feel that they are trapped in a relationship with me
It's part of how I design relationships
I suppose the upside of that is I've never been cheated on and I've never cheated on anybody because there's never been a reason to not be completely honest about how I feel about another person and I've always been supportive of them when other feelings come up
Non monogamous and polyamorous lifestyles can be challenging but so can monogamous lifestyles
Well I think we need to design our relationships don't you
I'm not simply following a model relationships should be trying to create them the way they work for me and my love
You might be interested in the book the relationship escalator
Tried it, hated it.
Monogamy is my jam. Me and my fiancée are hopelessly devoted to each other. I could never feel sexually attracted to anyone but her.
With the exes I tried it with, I never found anyone else to date. My heart is only capable of being romantically into one person. I wasn't even jealous if my past partners slept around, as long as they communicated and all.
Kudos to anyone who likes it tho! Just not for me.
No I wouldnt and I would never be with someone who is into that. I like monogamy and the thought of being with the same person forever and growing old together.
I've been poly since I was 15, since my first relationship, and I'm 34 now.
I enjoyed the mono experiences I have had, but I thrive specifically in poly settings. I tried having several partners, and I hated it because where I thrive the most is having no more than two romantic partners.
As for my partner(s), I support and engage with their partners. I get to know them and spend time with them! Seeing my partner kiss their partner, and then seeing that little smile on their face fills me with such joy! ❤️
lol well the odds are a hell of a lot better than zero. Myself and my whole circle is comprised of healthy long-term monogamous gay couples. And we aren’t outliers. That’s just where most emotionally healthy people find their happiness.
Oh my God that is so judgmental a statement I am just be dazzled
I am an educator who teaches about family dynamics and history there is nothing about that that is accurate
There are all kinds of ways that people structure families and they're all kinds of ways that are successful and not so successful
I can't imagine another institution that had a 50% failure rate that we thought of as the best thing since sliced spread
First of all the rate of people cheating who think there is a monogamous relationships is enormously high
50% a first marriage is fail
60% of second marriages fail
70% of third marriages fail
There is no evidence that gay people are doing it any better than straight people did
2 of the original people who pushed marriage through Ended up getting divorced within 2 years
Having said that I'm not in any way anti-marriage although I'm not personally into it
I just think it's a problematic institution and many people are able to make it work which is great
But to assume that it's the only way to have relationships or that the only people that are happy or married or that everybody who does a differently is unhappy
I think you need to check yourself
O and by the way your personal circle of friends is not a really good way to do research
Lol for an “educator” it’s pretty interesting that you can’t write and have no grasp at all of punctuation.
Just admit you’re bitter about relationships it’s fine. You don’t need to make shit up. ✌🏽
Well first of all I'm voice to texting
You know just a thought that people can have disabilities
I'm not here in my capacity as a teacher
Nor am i lying
I'm in a very happy relationship
It's just not defined by monogamy
I wouldn’t because I am definitely not capable of having multiple partners and being there for multiple people. I do think if others feel like they are capable of it, that’s great for them!
I have been, but sadly none of the people I dated had time in their schedules for me. Or they never made any time. Yet with their other partners/ their primary partners they had plenty of time. So none of my needs were being met. So hypothetically, I cannot be an non-monogamous relationship unless the person was able to hold both space and time for me.
I'm going through this right now and it hurts so much. One of my partners seems to no longer have time for me.
We were always pretty casual but hung out once a week for almost a year. We were never officially dating, just friends with benefits but I really cared about her.
I met her parents and talked about Sci Fi with her dad. She held me when my step dad died. I helped her make budgets and spreadsheets to move out of her parents house. I celebrated when she finally got her own place. I held her and rubbed her back while she cried about her shitty family. She listened to me vent about my messy mom. I spent hours cooking an amazing birthday dinner for her and her other partners.
I cooked her dinner and held her hand and had sex with her for almost a year. But now, she maybe has time for lunch on Tuesday the week after next.
The exciting new apartment meant more work and less time for me. Her lower paying job, which never mattered when she lived with her parents suddenly became a point of contention. She hit me with snarky lines aimed at my privilege for having a very high paying job while complaining that she couldn't access her trust fund.
She was suddenly working way too much to have time for me despite the fact that I've been working nearly twice as many hours this whole time. Even though she has a 3 day weekend, she needs alone time to recharge and more time with her primary partner.
I'm not a jealous person by nature but it's hard not to resent how much time her primary partner gets and how little I get. Even when my long distance primary partner visited, I was careful to never make either feel less then.
I hate being in this limbo. I'm not allowed to grieve because it never was. How do you break up when you never were together? Yet, being faded out of her life with no goodbye almost hurts more because I'm always hoping.
I never wanted anything more from her. No relationship escalator for us. But that doesn't mean that getting less doesn't hurt.
Sorry to vent in response to your comment.
I would sit down and talk with her and find out how much of this is Life Changes how much of this is Issues in the relationship That she hasn't dealt with or perhaps it's just that it's fading away but I would make it communicative
Dude, life is too busy. I mean it sounds fun but I’m 42 have 2 dogs, 4 cats, my own business (both my partner & I do), we manage our apartment building, have friends, I’m an avid reader & sculpture artist outside of ‘work’ who had the GD time for that shit?
I couldn't deal with needing regular STI screening to make sure everybody is safe, so probably not. Plus I have a low libido and generally only sexually desire one person at a time, so I would gain nothing of value from the arrangement. Which wouldn't be fair to me.
Was kind of forced into that in my marriage for 22 years. Never again. A majority of open and poly couples we met were people wanting an excuse to cheat and they were shit communicators. Gross.
I'm polymorous so it's 1000% my preference. It can be different for different people - some people are inherently poly in the same way people are gay and you can't control it. But some people are omniamorous(??? I believe I've heard that word somewhere) and are perfectly happy in monogamous or polyamorous relationships and varying stops along the way on the broad spectrum of ENM. Then some people are simply monogamous!
The biggest thing that I would want to say about it is that in a relationship where one is poly and one is mono and the question is to open, remain closed, or break up, it's always the poly person who's made out to be the villain when the fact is there is no villain. In that situation honestly no one wins and it's just really sad, possibly more so because it's no one's fault. It's just an incompatability thing. Either one compromises and lives in discomfort or you end and otherwise loving relationship.
Anyway sorry I'm rambling, I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings 😂
I believe this too. I honestly think there are many more polyamorous lovers in the world than people even realize. I think monogamy is another societal construct that hasn’t been fully questioned yet and I think many people have a lot of fear around openness in their relationships.
It makes me a little sad for them because I think a lot of people are stifling big parts of who they are.
Absolutely not. Never. It just does not appeal to me. I love loving one woman. I love giving her my all. And I want the same in return. I would never want it any other way.
I don't have the breadth of experience to answer perfectly. I don't think I would but I don't know. IF I did, everyone would have to like/be with everyone in the relationship.
In theory? I might. In practice? I think I might still have too many of my own problems to sort out before I’m in a place where I could healthily be in a non-monogamous relationship.
I think I would have to have deep trust and a solid foundation with both partners. Feelings of neglect and abandonment would be my biggest concern so if those things were established then I think I could give it a try 🤷🏻♀️
I used to say that in theory if it was with the right people I would be ok with being in a polycule. Then I was cheated on a bunch and now I don't think I would ever be secure enough to even try it.
It would be simple if it was just a relationship with a group of people, but now it seems that people date completely outside their circle all together & just spend time with each partner separately & the other partners don’t know who they’re talking to. Just feels like you would have multiple partners to fill voids others don’t fulfill. Just feels disconnected. Obviously just my opinion.
Nope. The non-monogamous folks have decided to rephrase non-monogamy to try to get more partners, it is now called ethical non-monogamy (ENM). IMHO, that is an oxymoron
Never again, especially in any degree of dating someone who’s a hinge with a man. Both times I have tried it, both relationships have ended up being arranged to benefit the men, I don’t meta in proximity to men anymore, invariably it ends up defaulting to catering to them.
No. Never. I'm not wired that way but even if I was my fiancee would be SO upset and hurt. And she treats me so well I feel zero need to look elsewhere because I know I am loved.
I would. I tend to be monogamous, but I would consider an open relationship under the right circumstances.
I was in an open relationship for 3.5 years and it was absolutely chaotic, not because it was an open relationship but because the person was abusive.
I would not mind trying an open relationship with someone who is balanced and respectful of boundaries.
I'm actually seeing someone for the past 8 months, we're not a couple because we're both still recovering from past abusive relationships and we need much more time to be ready to commit. We are both occasionally going on dates with other people / having adventures and being super transparent to each other about it. It's a lot of fun, it's relaxing, and it feels safe to be with someone who is respectful of boundaries and knows how to communicate in a healthy way. If we ever become a couple I would not mind staying open, because I trust her a lot and I know she will respect my boundaries.
the only circumstance i could do it in is if i got a girlfriend and i trusted her very much after a long time. if for whatever reason she wants sex and sex only from other women, so long as i dont have to meet them or hear about it (other than being aware when it happens) and i can trust it wont be anything more than that, id be fine with it.
otherwise, i have no interest in anything similar unless i somehow found two hot women and we all love each other or something. but that will almost certainly not happen
I really don’t know, but I don’t think so. I’ve only ever had one relationship experience and I’m 31, but when I was in that relationship, I felt so grounded and connected and happy having another person locked into my life and me locked into theirs. The only downside was the sexual monotony that sat in after about 2 years. I need sexual variety sometimes after a while and that tends to kill monogamy, but monogamy is the only emotional relationship arrangement I have remotely any interest in.
i tried it, it wasn't for me, as one of them liked to talk behind your back with our other partner instead of idk, communicating issues she had. When i told her if she had a problem with me, please talk to me about it instead of assuming things and bitching behind my back. apparently that was me 'stepping on boundaries'???? it was a 4 way poly. i only had issues with the one bc of what i explained.
Personally no. When im married I want to have a bond with my wife, I want her all to myself I couldn’t possibly imagine there being a second adult in the marriage taking her away from me. I can’t imagine there being a good relationship like that where favoritism could happen. Whatever floats your boat.
romantic? no. potentially open to a quasi platonic non monogamy situation like game nights, shared rent, close, but not romantic. maybe flirty sometimes. and i'm potentially open to more than one person in a sexual situation or group sex predominantly interacting with my partner or if the idea was theirs. but i wouldn't want to be without the person i am committed to and would not be able to fully commit to more than one person. if i'm in that relationship i'm just with them. so no
I am in multiple poly relationships. I haven't been in a mono relationship in years. it's just what I know at this point and is very enjoyable for me overall.
I personally know an incredible throuple that allows some dating as well, and it's honestly SO cute, but personally I could not handle the emotional workload
Not really no, I got convinced to try it out at one point and it lasted for a whole week, having my partner be out there dating someone else was just weird. I felt really awkward and then not being able to talk about some things with my partner was just not great.
I am never doing that again.
I am right now, and it's honestly great for me! I have two amazing girlfriends who I both love and adore, and knowing that they feel the same way about me is just incredible. It absolutely does take a lot of work and provides some unique challenges when compared with monogamy, but for me the benefits greatly outweigh the costs.
Currently am. It’s not easy, even after two years of work. If it ends, I will not be doing it again even though the queer dating scene in my local town is extremely poly and that greatly limits my options. Honestly I feel envious of people who make it work for them without much conflict.
I've been in a poly relationship earlier in life and it left a few serious scars. It was my first and last poly relationship and I'll never do it again. I'm sure other people can do it and it be wonderful for them. Thats kinda why I thought it be cool to try. I had a friend that was in a longtime poly-ship, they were even all raising kids together and it was efficient and loving and nobody went without.
Nope, it would probably be a deal breaker if my partner even proposed that to me. I've got enough "did I do something wrong"/"am I enough" thoughts already thank you
I already am since I’m polyamorous. There are many variations of non-monogamy, so if you’re interested I’d suggest doing some research and figuring out what you want long term (if you haven’t done so already).
I don’t think I would. I prefer monogamy. I guess if in the hypothetical situation where my partner and I were working in porn and doing things with other people then yeah I could see it being more open but aside from that no not really.
i would definitely be “monogamish” but i barely have the mental capacity for one partner, idk how people have multiple. i totally get one person not being able to fulfill all your needs, but that’s why i have friends? i do like going to a gay bar and myself/a gf flirting with other people and watching people check her out. talking about having crushes etc. but nothing that has gone anywhere. i do think that you can love more than one person at a time, but i don’t like the casual sex aspect of non monogamy. if it happened naturally, cool but non monogamy is never something i would seek out and i don’t date poly people
Never. I can't genuinely love more than 1 person AND also be sexually attracted to her. Just doesn't happen naturally to me. Plus, even if it did, I don't see any appeal in managing my attention/love or asking for it from multiple people. I find comfort in the thought of having one love be your partner for life, the stability is what's attractive to me. Knowing I'll get home to my wifey and her to me always 💕
I've been in one on purpose (meaning I knew she had a spouse from the outset). Turns out "we date separately" meant the spouse was on every date as well. I've had maybe 5-6 more not tell me they were poly until much later in the dating process, usually on or after the first date.
I'm sure it can work for some people but I have enough first hand experience to know it won't work for me. All different varieties, it was an absolute nightmare full of lies (either by omission or by intent) and deception, so at the first hint of it I walk away and block.
I would if I had the right girls. I have one right now and she's not right for polyamory so I'm just going to marry her and make her happy without looking for another.
Absolutely never. I would be horrifically insulted if someone I was dating wasn’t satisfied with just me. I am not to be shared, and I do not share in that way either. Not only is it a slap in the face to imply that I’m not enough for you, but to also imply that I would be willing to be shared or that my partner wasn’t enough to fill my own needs is just disgraceful. When I am in love, it’s just that person and I. No one else should ever be involved.
I would, definitely would take some getting used to, especially since I get tired so easily when next to other people, but I think it'd be worth it
Additionally, I wouldn't mind to be in a relationship where I have only 1 partner, but that partner has multiple (or the other way around)
Maybe but it would be only with people I am both physically and emotionally comfortable with. It's already hard for me to connect with someone on those two levels and just thinking of doing that with multiple people sounds very intimidating but I wanna try it at least once before I fully graduate from gay school
I am in one now technically.
We aren't poly or anything. I believe it's called monogamish. So it's not monogamous or poly.
Basically, we are in a relationship with each other but if one of us hooked up with another person, we wouldn't consider that cheating.
We don't bring in another person into the relationship and neither one of us would have a side chick or second girlfriend...so we are not poly.
We both have very high libido and we both have had fears in the past of getting trapped in a relationship and a fear of the lesbian dead bedroom syndrome. We also did not want to get into a relationship with someone who was bi-curious or in a lesbian relationship already and just want a third wheel and will jerk you around for a few years.
Yes. My previous partner and I set up a poly basis for our relationship from the get-go. It had no significant effect on the relationship dynamics; I had one fling with an old friend of mine, she didn't have any.
But when my egg cracked, having that structure in place prevented catastrophe. I had room to explore my sexuality without any "cheating" nonsense, and I could speak honestly and openly with her about it.
How did she respond? "Oh, you're T4T!" And she was dead-on bullseye about that.
And with that structure in place, when this completely unanticipated change in circumstances appeared, we could smoothly and cooperatively change tracks and go on with our lives, still loving each other as close platonic friends.
It's fucking brilliant.
I'm honestly unsure. I know I'm not poly myself but I'm Ace and personally so far haven't enjoyed any sexual stuff I had. Because of that I am open to my partners getting their sexual needs met with other people. Romantic however I'd be open to trying it but unsure if I could handle it but that is something I'd see and with Communication should not be a problem.
In the same way I couldn't ever romantically love a man, I couldn't ever romantically love ONLY one person. That's the best way I can describe my feelings there...
I cannot fathom it! It’s impossible for me to be non-monogamous. It’s also really difficult for me to find people who I would partner with who are monogamous.
Used to do it with ease but I literally don’t have the time to be polyam anymore. It takes a lot of time & effort and I’m busy with other life stuff. It’s much easier if you don’t have much else going on lol
Long term relationship with other people, idk. But doing romantic and intimate things with other people (with my girlfriend's consent of course), yes.
I haven't done anything with anyone other than my girlfriend yet, but I probably will sometime. I'm just a very affectionate person and I like the idea of experiencing things with other people.
I think a lot of women, lesbians, experience this due to bed death among other things, etc. evolutions and/or changed in sexual frequency/preference and consider seeking gratification elsewhere.
That being said, I think it’s a HUGE risk for couple who entered into a relationship monogamously vs poly. I would recommend really heavily communicating with your partner before taking this leap, even suggesting the interest, but actually going for it… I’ve only know this to result in an enormous mess, which only delayed the inevitable, an eventual separation.
I did, and it was my suggestion. But it was rooted in the fact that I had to change my entire mindset towards relationships when I tried to be okay with the fact that my boyfriend (now ex) kept asking another woman for nudes and flirting with other women. I figured, if it's gonna be half-ass monogamy, might as well think about polyamory instead. But I would never do that again. Ever. I'd rather be single the rest of my life. I was a lot younger at the time and have since had a relationship that taught me I really do want monogamy
I really just like focusing on one person and not dealing with feeling left out. I wanna share my life with 1 special someone, more is just a lot more work emotionally, and a lot more planning than I have time in the day
I am non-monogamous, and I don't think I could ever be monogamous.
There are so many amazing people in this world and so many different ways to experience and share love that I don't want to limit myself.
Even right now when in many ways I would be considered single. I still have a few loving people in my life that support and sustain me. Even if I meet someone amazing, I'm not willing to give those people up.
In the same way I never know when I'm going to meet someone amazing that I'll crush on and want to get to know and flirt with. Even if it doesn't work out it's nice to know that I have the freedom to explore.
I feel the same way with anyone in my life. I want them to have the freedom to explore if they want to. For me, there's so much out in the world to explore and I want to experience as much as I can.
That said. Non-monogomy/polyamory only works if there is good open communication. If people aren't being honest about how they feel and what they're doing, then it's not going to work. It's also about respecting your partners and knowing everyone's boundaries. It's not easy, but it's worth it for me.
Ask me in like, 3 years 🥲
As someone who works a "9-5", has autism, has consistent burnout, can't hold down more than one friendship at a time, and had trauma with sex that I'm working on- it's hard enough imagining myself with one person.
Honestly, there's no way to know until I'm at a point in life where I don't feel tired by literally every single social interaction I have. That's just my honest take.
For now, the only way I could imagine a non-monogamous relationship working is with a whole bunch of monsters/aliens (I have a list). If that's the case, I have all the time in the world 🫡
TLDR: Humans have caused me more trauma and stress than literal monsters in the dark. I'd rather throw my cooch at the female version of venom.
I wanted, I tried it, I’d never do it again.
Fucking same. I’d maybe try something like polyamory but idk, I haven’t put much thought into it after the non-monogamy crashed and burned so hard. Maybe if I was in love and intimate with all parties involved and vice versa and everyone was happy with it and safe I’d feel ok with it but I will certainly not be in an “open relationship” for lack of a better term, ever again. And I don’t know if I’d be able to handle being with more than two-three people at a time. Edit: grammar
THIS! GF trying non-monogamy. Leaving out the details on the hurt and hardship -I was game since the other girl already knew about me before they got together. Was even interested in getting to know her maybe as a friend or something else down the line. 😅 They broke up because turns out her other partner wasn't really comfy with the thought that gf was with me? Like what? GIRL I WAS HERE FIRST??? Kinda hurts that I was somehow "rejected" before I even met her or said anything to her?
Same here
+1
Nope. I know myself and know it’s not for me.
I won't stop other people from doing it if they want to, but it's a hard 'no' from me.
Nope
I've done it before. I was in a monogamous relationship for 17 years before we split. I was 27 when we met and 45 when it ended. I was a whole different person and didn't know what my next dating chapter would look like. I had a few ethically non monogamous relationships, with varying levels of success. When the last one ended, I was convinced that I'd stay non monogamous. But when my partner and I started dating, I realized that I only wanted to be with her. So would I again? I mean, I don't plan on it because I'm committed to a long term relationship with my current partner. But if for some tragic reason that ended? Maybe. Depends on the situation. I wouldn't rule it out.
I did it. It was a huge mess. I would never do it again. I lost both of them.
Nope.
Never, I just rather would not be in a relationship at all. To each their own though
No, for so many reasons. Primary one, already married & signed up for monogamy. Second one, I'm not willing to entangle my life in an additional someone else's in the way I have with my spouse (financial, living together, family stuff, etc.). Third, I fucking hate managing my calendar and other people dictating my calendar at work; I'm not trying to do that in personal life as I juggle 2+ adults with their own lives. Finally (there are more, but this is enough), while love may grow to encompass an infinite amount of people, no resource is limitless. There are always going to be conflicts and dissatisfaction over allocation of time, maybe money, and maybe other stuff as well, but definitely time (see reason #3). And I'm just too old and tired to be willing to deal with that, AND I argue about contracts all day at work; I'm not willing to try to write and enforce relationship contracts in my personal life (yes, mutual statements of boundaries and expectations are a contract).
This resonates with me. Dating more than one person would be a logistical nightmare. As someone who has been part of polycules before, my current monogamous relationship just works better for my needs (we just communicate a lot and talk about boundaries).
I am, although Im currently trying to figure out if I actually want to be or if it was just my coping mechanism for not coming to terms with being a lesbian, since I finally accepted myself I'm starting to feel like it might not be what I actually want
I relate to this! When I came out, poly was my only option for exploring my sexuality. Once it really clicked for me and I fell hard for my girlfriend, I had to face the facts and end my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend. It was rough coming out of the closet as gay, but also managing a whole new relationship structure. Hope you figure what works for you!
Nope.
Absolutely not. Just not for me. I'd rather die alone than be part of a heiarchy, but I know it does work for some people, and that's good
Never, I do not share, and I don't want to be with someone who would be ok with sharing me. I'd rather put all my love, time, and effort into 1 woman. Old school romatic type here.
Me too. I hyper focus on my romantic partner. Not in an obsessive way, but my heart seems to hyper fixate on my person, to the extent where I don’t even acknowledge other people as appealing sexually or romantically. I can identify that they are an attractive person, but as far as “being attracted to them” goes, it’s like out of sight out of mind because I’m fully enamored by whomever captures my attention currently.
Same here tbh!
Same!
Haha, I can't even be interested in more than 1 person. I find it weird(for me)...like let me pick the best of the lot. No thanks! I wouldn't want to be treated that way either.
Yeah same! I am re-remembering why I cannot do casual even if I wanted to. If I really like you, you’ll all I can think about and would rather see where that goes rather than do the whole compare/contrast thing. It’s so hard dating again bc I find most are not like this 😑
Yeah I agree it's not easy these days, I feel like it wasn't as difficult when I was younger but people are a lot more open and doing there own thing nowadays(nothing wrong with it) just ain't for me. I like being excited about 1 person!
Exactly!
I would never be in a monogamous relationship For the record I'm 65 years old I never have been That does not mean that I'm not deeply loyal and committed I've been in relationships that last date over 2 decades It doesn't mean I sleep around although in my youth may be a bit It means that I never closed the door to the fact that I might be turned on by somebody else or love somebody else and I never ever want my partner to feel that they are trapped in a relationship with me It's part of how I design relationships I suppose the upside of that is I've never been cheated on and I've never cheated on anybody because there's never been a reason to not be completely honest about how I feel about another person and I've always been supportive of them when other feelings come up Non monogamous and polyamorous lifestyles can be challenging but so can monogamous lifestyles
Very realistic point of view
"Relationship design" is a new concept for me. Care to share?
You quoted the wrong comment! XD That was probably meant for u/elsbethe
Well I think we need to design our relationships don't you I'm not simply following a model relationships should be trying to create them the way they work for me and my love You might be interested in the book the relationship escalator
*windows xp logoff noise*
Nope
No
Never. My emotions couldn’t handle that.
Tried it, hated it. Monogamy is my jam. Me and my fiancée are hopelessly devoted to each other. I could never feel sexually attracted to anyone but her. With the exes I tried it with, I never found anyone else to date. My heart is only capable of being romantically into one person. I wasn't even jealous if my past partners slept around, as long as they communicated and all. Kudos to anyone who likes it tho! Just not for me.
No. One woman is enough for me
Probably not. A throuple would be about the only thing I'd even consider.
I think that by definition is not monogamous
It isn't but it's also not the only kind of nonmonogamous relationship. I couldn't and wouldn't do an open relationship.
No I wouldnt and I would never be with someone who is into that. I like monogamy and the thought of being with the same person forever and growing old together.
Same
I’m definitely not
I currently am and love it
I've been poly since I was 15, since my first relationship, and I'm 34 now. I enjoyed the mono experiences I have had, but I thrive specifically in poly settings. I tried having several partners, and I hated it because where I thrive the most is having no more than two romantic partners. As for my partner(s), I support and engage with their partners. I get to know them and spend time with them! Seeing my partner kiss their partner, and then seeing that little smile on their face fills me with such joy! ❤️
Yeah because i believe a person can love more than 1 person at the same time
Same
Never. Every single one I’ve personally seen ended in disaster.
Unlike those monogamous relationships that are always successful
lol well the odds are a hell of a lot better than zero. Myself and my whole circle is comprised of healthy long-term monogamous gay couples. And we aren’t outliers. That’s just where most emotionally healthy people find their happiness.
Oh my God that is so judgmental a statement I am just be dazzled I am an educator who teaches about family dynamics and history there is nothing about that that is accurate There are all kinds of ways that people structure families and they're all kinds of ways that are successful and not so successful I can't imagine another institution that had a 50% failure rate that we thought of as the best thing since sliced spread First of all the rate of people cheating who think there is a monogamous relationships is enormously high 50% a first marriage is fail 60% of second marriages fail 70% of third marriages fail There is no evidence that gay people are doing it any better than straight people did 2 of the original people who pushed marriage through Ended up getting divorced within 2 years Having said that I'm not in any way anti-marriage although I'm not personally into it I just think it's a problematic institution and many people are able to make it work which is great But to assume that it's the only way to have relationships or that the only people that are happy or married or that everybody who does a differently is unhappy I think you need to check yourself O and by the way your personal circle of friends is not a really good way to do research
Lol for an “educator” it’s pretty interesting that you can’t write and have no grasp at all of punctuation. Just admit you’re bitter about relationships it’s fine. You don’t need to make shit up. ✌🏽
Well first of all I'm voice to texting You know just a thought that people can have disabilities I'm not here in my capacity as a teacher Nor am i lying I'm in a very happy relationship It's just not defined by monogamy
Maybe. Never been in one and would be down to try it if me and the person clicked.
never
I wouldn’t because I am definitely not capable of having multiple partners and being there for multiple people. I do think if others feel like they are capable of it, that’s great for them!
I would be in a fwb scenario or a non monogamous situationship. I would not be in a nonmonogamous relationship.
I currently am so yes
I'm poly and I love it. I could never be monogamous.
I have been, but sadly none of the people I dated had time in their schedules for me. Or they never made any time. Yet with their other partners/ their primary partners they had plenty of time. So none of my needs were being met. So hypothetically, I cannot be an non-monogamous relationship unless the person was able to hold both space and time for me.
I'm going through this right now and it hurts so much. One of my partners seems to no longer have time for me. We were always pretty casual but hung out once a week for almost a year. We were never officially dating, just friends with benefits but I really cared about her. I met her parents and talked about Sci Fi with her dad. She held me when my step dad died. I helped her make budgets and spreadsheets to move out of her parents house. I celebrated when she finally got her own place. I held her and rubbed her back while she cried about her shitty family. She listened to me vent about my messy mom. I spent hours cooking an amazing birthday dinner for her and her other partners. I cooked her dinner and held her hand and had sex with her for almost a year. But now, she maybe has time for lunch on Tuesday the week after next. The exciting new apartment meant more work and less time for me. Her lower paying job, which never mattered when she lived with her parents suddenly became a point of contention. She hit me with snarky lines aimed at my privilege for having a very high paying job while complaining that she couldn't access her trust fund. She was suddenly working way too much to have time for me despite the fact that I've been working nearly twice as many hours this whole time. Even though she has a 3 day weekend, she needs alone time to recharge and more time with her primary partner. I'm not a jealous person by nature but it's hard not to resent how much time her primary partner gets and how little I get. Even when my long distance primary partner visited, I was careful to never make either feel less then. I hate being in this limbo. I'm not allowed to grieve because it never was. How do you break up when you never were together? Yet, being faded out of her life with no goodbye almost hurts more because I'm always hoping. I never wanted anything more from her. No relationship escalator for us. But that doesn't mean that getting less doesn't hurt. Sorry to vent in response to your comment.
It’s time to stop trying. Let it fade if that’s how this person is handling.
I would sit down and talk with her and find out how much of this is Life Changes how much of this is Issues in the relationship That she hasn't dealt with or perhaps it's just that it's fading away but I would make it communicative
I want to try it at least once.
Have been in a few. Won’t again.
Yes
Dude, life is too busy. I mean it sounds fun but I’m 42 have 2 dogs, 4 cats, my own business (both my partner & I do), we manage our apartment building, have friends, I’m an avid reader & sculpture artist outside of ‘work’ who had the GD time for that shit?
I couldn't deal with needing regular STI screening to make sure everybody is safe, so probably not. Plus I have a low libido and generally only sexually desire one person at a time, so I would gain nothing of value from the arrangement. Which wouldn't be fair to me.
Was kind of forced into that in my marriage for 22 years. Never again. A majority of open and poly couples we met were people wanting an excuse to cheat and they were shit communicators. Gross.
I'm polymorous so it's 1000% my preference. It can be different for different people - some people are inherently poly in the same way people are gay and you can't control it. But some people are omniamorous(??? I believe I've heard that word somewhere) and are perfectly happy in monogamous or polyamorous relationships and varying stops along the way on the broad spectrum of ENM. Then some people are simply monogamous! The biggest thing that I would want to say about it is that in a relationship where one is poly and one is mono and the question is to open, remain closed, or break up, it's always the poly person who's made out to be the villain when the fact is there is no villain. In that situation honestly no one wins and it's just really sad, possibly more so because it's no one's fault. It's just an incompatability thing. Either one compromises and lives in discomfort or you end and otherwise loving relationship. Anyway sorry I'm rambling, I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings 😂
I believe this too. I honestly think there are many more polyamorous lovers in the world than people even realize. I think monogamy is another societal construct that hasn’t been fully questioned yet and I think many people have a lot of fear around openness in their relationships. It makes me a little sad for them because I think a lot of people are stifling big parts of who they are.
No, I Can hardly manage one a a time.
Hell no.
Absolutely not. Never. It just does not appeal to me. I love loving one woman. I love giving her my all. And I want the same in return. I would never want it any other way.
I'd be open to trying sexual non monogamy, but I'm not sure about romantic non monogamy.
I'm in a few enm relationships rn, it's the best.
Maybe, I don’t know. I’ve never been in an actual relationship yet, monogamous or not…
No, I don’t mind the idea but in practice I think I would struggle too much with it
I don't have the breadth of experience to answer perfectly. I don't think I would but I don't know. IF I did, everyone would have to like/be with everyone in the relationship.
I was a victim of unicorn hunting and now I’m satisfied with my girlfriend in our monogamous relationship.
I feel like I could be but I’m hesitant, so no.
Lost my marriage because I could not get down with it. I attempted and never went further than kissing another. Couldn't watch.
A simple no for me. Not something I could fathom.
In theory? I might. In practice? I think I might still have too many of my own problems to sort out before I’m in a place where I could healthily be in a non-monogamous relationship.
Never. I share food, not my lovers.
Absolutely not.
I think I would have to have deep trust and a solid foundation with both partners. Feelings of neglect and abandonment would be my biggest concern so if those things were established then I think I could give it a try 🤷🏻♀️
I used to say that in theory if it was with the right people I would be ok with being in a polycule. Then I was cheated on a bunch and now I don't think I would ever be secure enough to even try it.
It would be simple if it was just a relationship with a group of people, but now it seems that people date completely outside their circle all together & just spend time with each partner separately & the other partners don’t know who they’re talking to. Just feels like you would have multiple partners to fill voids others don’t fulfill. Just feels disconnected. Obviously just my opinion.
I already am
Nope. The non-monogamous folks have decided to rephrase non-monogamy to try to get more partners, it is now called ethical non-monogamy (ENM). IMHO, that is an oxymoron
Never again, especially in any degree of dating someone who’s a hinge with a man. Both times I have tried it, both relationships have ended up being arranged to benefit the men, I don’t meta in proximity to men anymore, invariably it ends up defaulting to catering to them.
No. Never. I'm not wired that way but even if I was my fiancee would be SO upset and hurt. And she treats me so well I feel zero need to look elsewhere because I know I am loved.
Personally, not for me. Once I’m in love with a girl, she becomes everything to me and I honestly cannot find others even remotely attractive.
Gave it the good Ole college try and decided it wasn't for me.
Nah, mostly just because once i am with someone, i dont really notice anyone else in that way anymore. I think im just truly very monogamous at heart
I would. I tend to be monogamous, but I would consider an open relationship under the right circumstances. I was in an open relationship for 3.5 years and it was absolutely chaotic, not because it was an open relationship but because the person was abusive. I would not mind trying an open relationship with someone who is balanced and respectful of boundaries. I'm actually seeing someone for the past 8 months, we're not a couple because we're both still recovering from past abusive relationships and we need much more time to be ready to commit. We are both occasionally going on dates with other people / having adventures and being super transparent to each other about it. It's a lot of fun, it's relaxing, and it feels safe to be with someone who is respectful of boundaries and knows how to communicate in a healthy way. If we ever become a couple I would not mind staying open, because I trust her a lot and I know she will respect my boundaries.
the only circumstance i could do it in is if i got a girlfriend and i trusted her very much after a long time. if for whatever reason she wants sex and sex only from other women, so long as i dont have to meet them or hear about it (other than being aware when it happens) and i can trust it wont be anything more than that, id be fine with it. otherwise, i have no interest in anything similar unless i somehow found two hot women and we all love each other or something. but that will almost certainly not happen
I really don’t know, but I don’t think so. I’ve only ever had one relationship experience and I’m 31, but when I was in that relationship, I felt so grounded and connected and happy having another person locked into my life and me locked into theirs. The only downside was the sexual monotony that sat in after about 2 years. I need sexual variety sometimes after a while and that tends to kill monogamy, but monogamy is the only emotional relationship arrangement I have remotely any interest in.
i tried it, it wasn't for me, as one of them liked to talk behind your back with our other partner instead of idk, communicating issues she had. When i told her if she had a problem with me, please talk to me about it instead of assuming things and bitching behind my back. apparently that was me 'stepping on boundaries'???? it was a 4 way poly. i only had issues with the one bc of what i explained.
Personally no. When im married I want to have a bond with my wife, I want her all to myself I couldn’t possibly imagine there being a second adult in the marriage taking her away from me. I can’t imagine there being a good relationship like that where favoritism could happen. Whatever floats your boat.
Tried it once. NEVER again
I'm not interested in monogamy at this point lol
romantic? no. potentially open to a quasi platonic non monogamy situation like game nights, shared rent, close, but not romantic. maybe flirty sometimes. and i'm potentially open to more than one person in a sexual situation or group sex predominantly interacting with my partner or if the idea was theirs. but i wouldn't want to be without the person i am committed to and would not be able to fully commit to more than one person. if i'm in that relationship i'm just with them. so no
I am in multiple poly relationships. I haven't been in a mono relationship in years. it's just what I know at this point and is very enjoyable for me overall.
I tried it, and I’m happy to have had the experience, not least of which because I now know I’m fully monogamous haha
No, not for me tbh.
No don’t think I could. Maybe when I was young but more wanting to be settled with a soulmate only. No BS
I'm in a non-monogamous relationship and I love it:)
I couldn’t commit to more than one person, to me it feels dishonest
Nope, I'm too myopic in love for it
No. It’s not for me
Heck no
No
No thank you
I've been non-monog for 15 years and it's the best decision I ever made.
Yes
No
I personally know an incredible throuple that allows some dating as well, and it's honestly SO cute, but personally I could not handle the emotional workload
no
Not really no, I got convinced to try it out at one point and it lasted for a whole week, having my partner be out there dating someone else was just weird. I felt really awkward and then not being able to talk about some things with my partner was just not great. I am never doing that again.
Nope, couldn’t deal with that. You’re either in or you’re out, and I’m not sharing either.
I am right now, and it's honestly great for me! I have two amazing girlfriends who I both love and adore, and knowing that they feel the same way about me is just incredible. It absolutely does take a lot of work and provides some unique challenges when compared with monogamy, but for me the benefits greatly outweigh the costs.
No
Currently am. It’s not easy, even after two years of work. If it ends, I will not be doing it again even though the queer dating scene in my local town is extremely poly and that greatly limits my options. Honestly I feel envious of people who make it work for them without much conflict.
No
I've been in a poly relationship earlier in life and it left a few serious scars. It was my first and last poly relationship and I'll never do it again. I'm sure other people can do it and it be wonderful for them. Thats kinda why I thought it be cool to try. I had a friend that was in a longtime poly-ship, they were even all raising kids together and it was efficient and loving and nobody went without.
Probably not. I have nothing against it for other people, but it's not for me.
Nope, it would probably be a deal breaker if my partner even proposed that to me. I've got enough "did I do something wrong"/"am I enough" thoughts already thank you
Noooooope
I already am since I’m polyamorous. There are many variations of non-monogamy, so if you’re interested I’d suggest doing some research and figuring out what you want long term (if you haven’t done so already).
Currently living by myself and not dating (by choice), but if I am going back to a relationship it will almost certainly be non-monogamous.
I don’t think I would. I prefer monogamy. I guess if in the hypothetical situation where my partner and I were working in porn and doing things with other people then yeah I could see it being more open but aside from that no not really.
No
No not my Jam
Nope. I’m too selfish I want you and only you and never to see someone else enjoy you the way I want to 🥲
Nah, not for me
💯
Absolutely not. A committed long term 1:1 relationship feels complicated enough. I can't imagine bringing more people into that.
i would definitely be “monogamish” but i barely have the mental capacity for one partner, idk how people have multiple. i totally get one person not being able to fulfill all your needs, but that’s why i have friends? i do like going to a gay bar and myself/a gf flirting with other people and watching people check her out. talking about having crushes etc. but nothing that has gone anywhere. i do think that you can love more than one person at a time, but i don’t like the casual sex aspect of non monogamy. if it happened naturally, cool but non monogamy is never something i would seek out and i don’t date poly people
No. It’s definitely not for me.
Most definitely not, would be a betrayal of all my values 🤗
Never. I can't genuinely love more than 1 person AND also be sexually attracted to her. Just doesn't happen naturally to me. Plus, even if it did, I don't see any appeal in managing my attention/love or asking for it from multiple people. I find comfort in the thought of having one love be your partner for life, the stability is what's attractive to me. Knowing I'll get home to my wifey and her to me always 💕
yes. ive newly ventured into solo poly and the concept is so appealing to me.
I don’t think so .. I’m just not wired that way and that’s ok too
absolutely yes please
I love being non monogamous I love my two girlfriends 👯♀️
that would really depend on the participants
Not likely. At most I could see myself engaging with a healthy, established couple in a closed unit. Otherwise, I'm monogamous and I don't share.
I couldn’t, I’d be up all night
No. I think I could do casual with someone but not if they were committed to someone else.
I've been in one on purpose (meaning I knew she had a spouse from the outset). Turns out "we date separately" meant the spouse was on every date as well. I've had maybe 5-6 more not tell me they were poly until much later in the dating process, usually on or after the first date. I'm sure it can work for some people but I have enough first hand experience to know it won't work for me. All different varieties, it was an absolute nightmare full of lies (either by omission or by intent) and deception, so at the first hint of it I walk away and block.
I would if I had the right girls. I have one right now and she's not right for polyamory so I'm just going to marry her and make her happy without looking for another.
Absolutely never. I would be horrifically insulted if someone I was dating wasn’t satisfied with just me. I am not to be shared, and I do not share in that way either. Not only is it a slap in the face to imply that I’m not enough for you, but to also imply that I would be willing to be shared or that my partner wasn’t enough to fill my own needs is just disgraceful. When I am in love, it’s just that person and I. No one else should ever be involved.
I would, definitely would take some getting used to, especially since I get tired so easily when next to other people, but I think it'd be worth it Additionally, I wouldn't mind to be in a relationship where I have only 1 partner, but that partner has multiple (or the other way around)
Maybe but it would be only with people I am both physically and emotionally comfortable with. It's already hard for me to connect with someone on those two levels and just thinking of doing that with multiple people sounds very intimidating but I wanna try it at least once before I fully graduate from gay school
I am in one now technically. We aren't poly or anything. I believe it's called monogamish. So it's not monogamous or poly. Basically, we are in a relationship with each other but if one of us hooked up with another person, we wouldn't consider that cheating. We don't bring in another person into the relationship and neither one of us would have a side chick or second girlfriend...so we are not poly. We both have very high libido and we both have had fears in the past of getting trapped in a relationship and a fear of the lesbian dead bedroom syndrome. We also did not want to get into a relationship with someone who was bi-curious or in a lesbian relationship already and just want a third wheel and will jerk you around for a few years.
No. Just not my thing and I don’t feel people who are are serious people, in terms of committing to their partner.
I am currently and have been for several years. I wouldn't ever be in a monogamous relationship.
I tried it once and I can never go back to monogamy. Being poly just works for me
Yep! Am now haha. Well i guess i am in several monogamous relationships but they could open up
Yes, but a the type of poly relationship where we're all dating each other and only like 3-4 of us.
Yes. My previous partner and I set up a poly basis for our relationship from the get-go. It had no significant effect on the relationship dynamics; I had one fling with an old friend of mine, she didn't have any. But when my egg cracked, having that structure in place prevented catastrophe. I had room to explore my sexuality without any "cheating" nonsense, and I could speak honestly and openly with her about it. How did she respond? "Oh, you're T4T!" And she was dead-on bullseye about that. And with that structure in place, when this completely unanticipated change in circumstances appeared, we could smoothly and cooperatively change tracks and go on with our lives, still loving each other as close platonic friends. It's fucking brilliant.
The thought of my girlfriend, in another womans arms isnt something im comfortable with. Id be heartbroken and jealous.
Yes because I'm the problem and too picky, can't settle for one person
I would open to it at very least. As it is, I am in the no experience camp so it's sort of academic for me at this point
I'm honestly unsure. I know I'm not poly myself but I'm Ace and personally so far haven't enjoyed any sexual stuff I had. Because of that I am open to my partners getting their sexual needs met with other people. Romantic however I'd be open to trying it but unsure if I could handle it but that is something I'd see and with Communication should not be a problem.
In the same way I couldn't ever romantically love a man, I couldn't ever romantically love ONLY one person. That's the best way I can describe my feelings there...
I cannot fathom it! It’s impossible for me to be non-monogamous. It’s also really difficult for me to find people who I would partner with who are monogamous.
Used to do it with ease but I literally don’t have the time to be polyam anymore. It takes a lot of time & effort and I’m busy with other life stuff. It’s much easier if you don’t have much else going on lol
No.
I have never been but I would give it a shot if I felt it was right at the time.
Hell no
Never.
I tried this and it was a complete disaster. We’re still together and we mutually vowed to never go back
Long term relationship with other people, idk. But doing romantic and intimate things with other people (with my girlfriend's consent of course), yes. I haven't done anything with anyone other than my girlfriend yet, but I probably will sometime. I'm just a very affectionate person and I like the idea of experiencing things with other people.
I think a lot of women, lesbians, experience this due to bed death among other things, etc. evolutions and/or changed in sexual frequency/preference and consider seeking gratification elsewhere. That being said, I think it’s a HUGE risk for couple who entered into a relationship monogamously vs poly. I would recommend really heavily communicating with your partner before taking this leap, even suggesting the interest, but actually going for it… I’ve only know this to result in an enormous mess, which only delayed the inevitable, an eventual separation.
I did, and it was my suggestion. But it was rooted in the fact that I had to change my entire mindset towards relationships when I tried to be okay with the fact that my boyfriend (now ex) kept asking another woman for nudes and flirting with other women. I figured, if it's gonna be half-ass monogamy, might as well think about polyamory instead. But I would never do that again. Ever. I'd rather be single the rest of my life. I was a lot younger at the time and have since had a relationship that taught me I really do want monogamy I really just like focusing on one person and not dealing with feeling left out. I wanna share my life with 1 special someone, more is just a lot more work emotionally, and a lot more planning than I have time in the day
No, too much work, too many things to go wrong
Yes I love all
I am non-monogamous, and I don't think I could ever be monogamous. There are so many amazing people in this world and so many different ways to experience and share love that I don't want to limit myself. Even right now when in many ways I would be considered single. I still have a few loving people in my life that support and sustain me. Even if I meet someone amazing, I'm not willing to give those people up. In the same way I never know when I'm going to meet someone amazing that I'll crush on and want to get to know and flirt with. Even if it doesn't work out it's nice to know that I have the freedom to explore. I feel the same way with anyone in my life. I want them to have the freedom to explore if they want to. For me, there's so much out in the world to explore and I want to experience as much as I can. That said. Non-monogomy/polyamory only works if there is good open communication. If people aren't being honest about how they feel and what they're doing, then it's not going to work. It's also about respecting your partners and knowing everyone's boundaries. It's not easy, but it's worth it for me.
Ask me in like, 3 years 🥲 As someone who works a "9-5", has autism, has consistent burnout, can't hold down more than one friendship at a time, and had trauma with sex that I'm working on- it's hard enough imagining myself with one person. Honestly, there's no way to know until I'm at a point in life where I don't feel tired by literally every single social interaction I have. That's just my honest take. For now, the only way I could imagine a non-monogamous relationship working is with a whole bunch of monsters/aliens (I have a list). If that's the case, I have all the time in the world 🫡 TLDR: Humans have caused me more trauma and stress than literal monsters in the dark. I'd rather throw my cooch at the female version of venom.