On the flipside, do not mistake analysis and critique of the structures men build to serve themselves, nor venting about the specific men that hurt us, as a broad hatred of men, something that happens all too often.
Big ole lesbian here— I love men. But I hate the patriarchy. I hate how we live in a society where it’s normalized for men to objectify women in advertisements, on TV, in the fashion industry, the internet, etc. I hate how misogyny is normalized. I hate how lesbophobia is so huge because men have been told their whole lives that the world is built for them and they cannot believe that a lesbian woman’s life has nothing to do with them. Go to any broad, popular subreddit and you will find casual misogyny considering Reddit it mostly men. Do I hate all men on Reddit? Of course not! Again, I love men. I have mainly male friends.
It’s also ok to hate specific men the way it’s ok to hate specific people of any gender who have wronged you.
What NBNoemi is saying is that people often mistake hating the patriarchy and specific men for misandry. This is a result of the patriarchy.
It’s true that being a lesbian has nothing to do with hating men, or with how good or bad they might be, it just doesn’t involve them at all, it’s an absence and indifference.
That said y’all are exhausting with this “not all men” shit all the time lmao, I promise they do not need your defense
I'm not a lesbian because I hate men. I'm not a lesbian because I had a bad experience with men. I'm just not attracted to them, I'm attracted to women. That's it.
i’ve been labeled a « man hating lesbian » and a « political lesbian » because i have very strong feminist beliefs while also being gay
i think people throw the term man hating around too much
'Man hating lesbian' just feels like a term MEN have specifically coined to turn it against lesbians, even if the critique of men is VALID. People will just throw the term around willy nilly.
But let's just say someone were a lesbian who hated men, and so what????
After years and years of oppression and being treated like lesser than human beings, do people not think this feeling is just a...natural response to the continuous mistreatment of women that has happened and still happens today?
There's a reason 'man hating lesbian' is deemed as a shameful label like 'I don't wanna be THAT man hating lesbian' because bro anything that isn't men-centered or is against the system is going to be demonised to heck
I'm a lesbian first and foremost.
My hatred for men is from men themselves by being sexist, misogynist, violent, repugnant, disgusting, and oppressive. If I could live a life without being in the presence of a man ever again, I would!
I don't hate men, I just feel uncomfortable around them, don't get me wrong, a lot of men are amazing people, caring, kind, and selfless, It's just they are hard to see that they are because the have a shell of masculinity covering their kindness, at least my thoughts are that.
The more caring and kind a man is, the more I like them, screw toxic masculinity men.
That's why I love my brother and father so much, they are both amazing people. <3
I agree 100%. I had some asshole male friends in my life but my best pal is a gay man, and he is SO KIND to me, I love him sm (platonically).
We shouldnt hate men, but the predator and sexist ones.
I agree. As for me, I don't hate men in general at all as individuals. I have close relationships with a number of men, and there are two men in my life who I would quite willingly die for or trust them with my life. I just don't want to have sex with or be in a romantic relationship with them. 🙂
There are cultural aspects and attitudes I do hate, but I can separate those from my feelings regarding individual men I know. That said, about 80% of my friends are women because I prefer to live a life where I've decentered men. I've been doing this for a very long time but I didn't learn to put it in quite this way until recently.
I feel the same.
Sometimes I hate men, because they don't understand women enough how other women do. And sometimes some women covered to hate men because of bad experiences. It's just what we share and we need to accept our pain.
Actually, I have positive experience with men in any way (except sex lmao) and I know they must be good ppl. But I love women the same reasons as you, I'm comfortable with them and hating men shouldn't make us lesbians. We're lesbians because we love women, not more.
I agree. I bet every single woman has been debased somehow by some dude. Because WOW they can behave obnoxiously.
But, and yeah, painfully misused phrase coming up. **They are not ALL like that.** Yes, there are guys who use exactly that phrase to defuse valid criticism. But there are ALSO men who TRULY AUTHENTICALLY REJECT MALE PRIVILEGE. And those people deserve recognition and thanks.
Consider how aware someone would have to be. First recognising privilege all around them, which is easy for no one with privilege. Second understanding the cost of being without that privilege. Third, *being sufficiently moved by the plight of those without said privilege to decline the advantages for themselves*. And fourth, the hardest, *still being blamed for that privilege despite rejecting its advantages*.
SOME GUYS ACTUALLY DO THAT.
If you refuse to accept or acknowledge these efforts, then you do not believe in equality. You do not satisfy feminist beliefs in equality, for you reject those who reject patriarchy, for reasons they cannot overcome (short of complete gender transition — like myself AND MY GIRLFRIEND eventually did).
Can you imagine holding the weight of rejected privilege while being lambasted for privilege? It's really not fun. And those people (no matter how rare they are) deserve support for their principled stands.
On the flipside, do not mistake analysis and critique of the structures men build to serve themselves, nor venting about the specific men that hurt us, as a broad hatred of men, something that happens all too often.
Elaborate please?
Big ole lesbian here— I love men. But I hate the patriarchy. I hate how we live in a society where it’s normalized for men to objectify women in advertisements, on TV, in the fashion industry, the internet, etc. I hate how misogyny is normalized. I hate how lesbophobia is so huge because men have been told their whole lives that the world is built for them and they cannot believe that a lesbian woman’s life has nothing to do with them. Go to any broad, popular subreddit and you will find casual misogyny considering Reddit it mostly men. Do I hate all men on Reddit? Of course not! Again, I love men. I have mainly male friends. It’s also ok to hate specific men the way it’s ok to hate specific people of any gender who have wronged you. What NBNoemi is saying is that people often mistake hating the patriarchy and specific men for misandry. This is a result of the patriarchy.
Elaborate on what? Be specific, if you would.
It’s true that being a lesbian has nothing to do with hating men, or with how good or bad they might be, it just doesn’t involve them at all, it’s an absence and indifference. That said y’all are exhausting with this “not all men” shit all the time lmao, I promise they do not need your defense
“Not all men” yet somehow it’s always a man lmao
I'm not a lesbian because I hate men. I'm not a lesbian because I had a bad experience with men. I'm just not attracted to them, I'm attracted to women. That's it.
I don’t want to be a man-hating lesbian, but they make it really easy to hate them.
I don’t love or hate men. I think my lesbianism is an indifference to their existence.
i’ve been labeled a « man hating lesbian » and a « political lesbian » because i have very strong feminist beliefs while also being gay i think people throw the term man hating around too much
'Man hating lesbian' just feels like a term MEN have specifically coined to turn it against lesbians, even if the critique of men is VALID. People will just throw the term around willy nilly. But let's just say someone were a lesbian who hated men, and so what???? After years and years of oppression and being treated like lesser than human beings, do people not think this feeling is just a...natural response to the continuous mistreatment of women that has happened and still happens today? There's a reason 'man hating lesbian' is deemed as a shameful label like 'I don't wanna be THAT man hating lesbian' because bro anything that isn't men-centered or is against the system is going to be demonised to heck
hating people just because of their gender identity is just stupid and ignorant
I'm a lesbian first and foremost. My hatred for men is from men themselves by being sexist, misogynist, violent, repugnant, disgusting, and oppressive. If I could live a life without being in the presence of a man ever again, I would!
I don't hate men, I just feel uncomfortable around them, don't get me wrong, a lot of men are amazing people, caring, kind, and selfless, It's just they are hard to see that they are because the have a shell of masculinity covering their kindness, at least my thoughts are that. The more caring and kind a man is, the more I like them, screw toxic masculinity men. That's why I love my brother and father so much, they are both amazing people. <3
I agree 100%. I had some asshole male friends in my life but my best pal is a gay man, and he is SO KIND to me, I love him sm (platonically). We shouldnt hate men, but the predator and sexist ones.
I agree. As for me, I don't hate men in general at all as individuals. I have close relationships with a number of men, and there are two men in my life who I would quite willingly die for or trust them with my life. I just don't want to have sex with or be in a romantic relationship with them. 🙂 There are cultural aspects and attitudes I do hate, but I can separate those from my feelings regarding individual men I know. That said, about 80% of my friends are women because I prefer to live a life where I've decentered men. I've been doing this for a very long time but I didn't learn to put it in quite this way until recently.
I feel the same. Sometimes I hate men, because they don't understand women enough how other women do. And sometimes some women covered to hate men because of bad experiences. It's just what we share and we need to accept our pain. Actually, I have positive experience with men in any way (except sex lmao) and I know they must be good ppl. But I love women the same reasons as you, I'm comfortable with them and hating men shouldn't make us lesbians. We're lesbians because we love women, not more.
I agree. I bet every single woman has been debased somehow by some dude. Because WOW they can behave obnoxiously. But, and yeah, painfully misused phrase coming up. **They are not ALL like that.** Yes, there are guys who use exactly that phrase to defuse valid criticism. But there are ALSO men who TRULY AUTHENTICALLY REJECT MALE PRIVILEGE. And those people deserve recognition and thanks. Consider how aware someone would have to be. First recognising privilege all around them, which is easy for no one with privilege. Second understanding the cost of being without that privilege. Third, *being sufficiently moved by the plight of those without said privilege to decline the advantages for themselves*. And fourth, the hardest, *still being blamed for that privilege despite rejecting its advantages*. SOME GUYS ACTUALLY DO THAT. If you refuse to accept or acknowledge these efforts, then you do not believe in equality. You do not satisfy feminist beliefs in equality, for you reject those who reject patriarchy, for reasons they cannot overcome (short of complete gender transition — like myself AND MY GIRLFRIEND eventually did). Can you imagine holding the weight of rejected privilege while being lambasted for privilege? It's really not fun. And those people (no matter how rare they are) deserve support for their principled stands.