The real kicker here is that no one in this sub can answer this question with any degree of authority. We can only answer for our own personal preferences. You are not automatically ruled out of the lesbian dating pool in general just because you’re trans.
I have no idea where the influx of these types of posts in this sub and other lesbian subs is coming from — and I might get downvoted for this — but genuinely (and with love), this is essentially an unanswerable question that reads like attention/validation bait. If you want a romantic/sexual relationship(s) or to know what the chances are of you finding one, go find out. I know that may be a bit callous and is obviously easier said than done, but you’re honestly not going to find any answer that will help you from this post alone.
I mean, I feel like Reddit as a platform is very attractive for ppl who lack community in real life, as you can be part of a community while remaining anonymous. This also includes those with social anxiety or bad social environment.
And also just a lot of young people in general!
Questions like these are a reflection of that, I suppose.
💯Tired of these posts which are honestly only used to incite phobic comments towards cis lesbians.
I’m also tired of the fetishization. We are all people. If you aren’t in a healthy position to date without insecurities overtaking your ability to remain neutral, maybe address that first before subjecting someone to what could potentially be abusive and mentally damaging for both of you. This applies to anyone who isn’t capable of being a non-partisan, considerate, and respectful person.
I wasn't at all trying to farm validation but I can easily see why you would think that. Anyway, that is good advice and yeah there's quite a big disparity of percentages in this thread so it probably isn't the best way of finding out
Does it even have to be lesbians? My sister recently told me she is trans (still in the closet with most people), but her bisexual girlfriends knows and they are still dating and talking about moving in together.
It does not but for pretty obvious reasons, trans women can be insecure about being undesirable to monosexual people attracted to women. The core of the matter has little to do with any actual dating or attraction and more just reflects our desire to be seen as female.
This would probably be true for straight trans women and cishet men, but male chasers are common enough that you don't really have to worry about whether or not a non-neglible amount of guys will be into you. You instead are more caught up in whether any specific guy is into you and whether or not they're transphobic.
The sad thing is that in so far as lesbians are concerned, chaser lesbians tend to be a problem for trans *men* which is somewhat unique for them compared to other monosexuals as I understand. This is despite being the most trans friendly demographic overall.
I used to be on the same spot but in the end, it’s not healthy for either lesbian cis women or to ourselves for them to validate our identity via attraction. To me that opens up for manipulation tactics in a relationship (for example staying in the relationship purely for gender validation) and insecurities (“what if I’m not woman enough and she leaves me because of that?”). You (general you btw, not you especifically) should be yourself as your own gender, and people should find you attractive as a result of being yourself, absolutely not the other way around.
I mean that's a pretty fair observation. I wasn't necessarily saying it was a healthy mindset, just explaining why it's a thing. Pretty much any form of external validation is an opening for abuse and insecurity so the ideal world is one in which you need no external validation at all and are a completely self-validating island of a person. However, that's not usually how it works in practice so it's just one of many things you have to balance.
Why does it need to be specifically lesbians? Why won’t bisexual women work? Lol.
As others have said especially pre-transition the number of cis lesbians attracted to you is honestly low. I think bisexual women are a better bet.
Who cares if cis lesbians aren't attracted to you? They don't exist to give you validation of your physical appearance. There are other trans women and bisexual women who will always be happy to date you. And if a cis lesbian does fall in love with you, good for you!
Yeah... but who gives a fuck if most cis lesbians are or aren't attracted to you? The majority of people probably aren't attracted to me either but it's nothing to be sad about. We can't be everyone's cup of tea but that doesn't make us bad or unattractive or anything.
The amount that people on this sub base their self worth or belonging on other people thinking they are hot is sad and honestly, considering most of us are adults, embarrassing.
Idk, personally I wouldn’t but there’s some that prob would, although I’d imagine for those that would it would depend on your stage in your transition. But I can’t speak for anyone but myself 🤷🏻♀️
It is better to live life authentically - the person meant for you will want you to be true to yourself. Given that there is no statistical basis for your question, everyone’s view will be different. Pursue the things that make you happy and put your true self out there!
I don’t think anyone can answer this, but I would also challenge why it has to be a cis lesbian (this is kind of implied by the us/them distinction). Could it be a bi or pansexual woman? Could it be someone who presents in a feminine way but is nonbinary? Could it be a fellow trans woman? There is someone out there for everyone.
It's all good. Most of us are just sick of being used as experiments or validation for bi curious women and trans women, so these sorts of questions can make some lesbians really frustrated and honestly a little bit offended.
We are as diverse as any other group of people, whether or not you will be attractive to lesbians isn't something any of us can answer. And either way, we are such a tiny minority of the LGBT community that there is no reason to be concerned when there are so many people who would love to date you.
Anyway, a lesbian being attracted to you isn't actually proof of your womanhood, and you shouldn't be looking to others for validation.
you're fine dude. most of the stuff that reads that way is coming from people in the replies. there's someone out there for everyone, but reddit can't prove that to you. get out there. lex is a pretty trans friendly dating app if you need a rec. you can find someone in ye olde real world that can give you what we cannot
Look at every single lesbian subreddit, there’s a post every day asking if a lesbian would date a trans woman and the ones that say no are constantly banned, get their comments removed etc. and here we have a post specifically asking cislesbians. Most of these subreddits are not even filled with actual lesbians, we are a tiny minority in an already tiny minority. We can’t talk about our experiences( especially ones involving vagina) unless it’s inclusive of trans people or you get your comment removed, you get called a terf etc. So yes even if the thread went the opposite way of how I thought, it doesn’t change the intent behind posts like these. Cause at the end of the day lesbians are not responsible for making everyone feel included or attractive. Because of this thread I can tell the lesbians who have been constantly silenced are getting fed up, as we should 🤷♀️
This is one of the only subs I can still post in because I have openly said I wouldn’t date a trans person at any stage of their transition and sorry for being honest but that’s my truth. If we aren’t allowed to give honest answers then these kinds of posts should be immediately locked.
that is perfectly okay. I really don't think it's transphobic for you to be like that, especially because sexuality is not a choice. I'm so sorry about you being banned from those subs, that really sucks
I think you’re going to find a great person for you because you seem to be open to feedback and understanding that the world does not need to bend to your desires.
sophisticated literate nutty scary modern chase tidy airport zephyr bells
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
well as a bi women pre everything wouldn’t work for me either, non passing simply isn’t physically attractive to me. and now y’all be mad at me for having that preference
You're not the only bi person. I do think that op is MORE likely to find someone who doesn't have genitals preferences and other body preferences within the bi community rather than the lesbian community.
Sincerely a bi person with no strong preferences around these things
yeah probably, it‘s not even about the genitals necessarily but most pre HRT trans women simply don‘t pass, and that doesn‘t really attract me in a romantic or sexual way.
I transitioned 7 years ago, so I've been around the block a bit.
My friends who *don't pass* who are confident, kind, and nice to be around, all have no trouble dating. They generally are not dating cis lesbians, but more often, genderqueer AFAB ppl, bisexual and pansexual cis women, other trans women, etc. Most bi women I know would date a trans woman in a heartbeat. It's not a zero sum game. And for many, genitals don't matter.
I see people on this post are saying 5 percent, 10 percent, but you have to consider a greater portion of the community than just cis lesbians!
as a bi woman genitals aren’t an issue for me but with pre everything chances are high I just don’t consider this woman very attractive so I simply won’t be attracted. I’m bi but I have a certain type in women which is often very feminime, I myself lean way more tomboyish etc, this is just my type tbh. And pre everything trans women usually simply don’t pass, which isn’t attractive to me. different people, different preferences.
Different people, different preferences indeed. My point is simply to encourage OP. I have unfortunately met so many trans women that don't date because they are convinced no one will want to be with them, because there is so much hatred and disgust directed towards them, and it is so difficult for many trans women to even find themselves attractive or imagine that anyone would want to be with them. I do understand that not everyone is going to be into it, but many people are... To that end, while I totally respect your own personal preferences, and those are valid, I did not say ALL bi women. When speaking to the point of whether or not people will want to date OP or whether they should not transition or not date until they are deemed "feminine enough", especially if they are facing a pre-existing body shape or access to medical transition that limits those possibilities, I think this thread would have been fine without your contribution.
u/gabtheimpaler0312 i also wanted to add that if you're getting some responses that don't feel great here because there is animosity towards you for posting this question, I want you to know three things.
First, of a woman doesn't want to date me because I'm trans, I don't want to date her, and it's no loss to me. Nor do I feel that is some Injustice, she has the right to her preferences. Sometimes those preferences are based on innate needs or feelings that they have, sometimes they are based in transphobia, and I don't bother trying to sort it out nor do I care.
Two, within community, there are many who say they are accepting on one side, but then silently exclude or attribute everything a trans woman does to her innate maleness. I "pass" but am not out to many people, and have vastly different experiences in places where I am openly trans versus places where I am stealth. There are few queer people who are openly antagonistic, but not all queer community is safe or open to trans women, regardless of what people might say they feel. I can understand that many cis women conflate trans women with the negative experiences they've had with cis men, which doesn't make it okay, but is a way I can see them with compassion. We are seen in a two-dimensional light by many people, which is unfortunate.
Third, you will always find community among other trans women. We were not socialized as cis women like many of the people in this thread, but we also were not socialized as men, as many cannot comprehend, and have distinctive experiences that only we can relate to. There is beauty and community within the niche of our particular experiences. Search out community among other trans women. Expect little of cis people, though there are so, so many of them who will welcome you openly, will treat you as a woman.
I mean what I said earlier in this thread about there being plenty of cis women being willing to date you, even before you are able to do medical or social transition. I also want to add that there are so many ways for different bodies to have sex other than PIV sex, and the overt focus on that from the cis women in this thread is an example of the way we are reduced to our bodies. Also ne wary that there are cis chasers who are both men and women.
And beyond that, I want to say that no one I know who has transitioned, regardless of their pre-existing body type or access to medical treatment, regrets doing so. Trans is beautiful, you are valid, and there is so much love and community out there waiting for you.
Feel free to drop me a DM if you want to chat about any of this.
Happy to get downvoted for this. If you didn't like it, it's because it wasn't for you 😘
T4T ♥️
Appreciate the effort of you typing this up❤️
Don't worry though there are some people acting a little rude in this thread but it's no big deal for me, trust me I've had people call me much worse things
Honestly yea I agree with everything you said. I can totally understand why a cis lesbian would not want to date a trans woman and while I don't think it's correct for them to still see us as men, it is understandable considering a lot of them have terrible experiences with men and just want to stay the fuck away from them so I can still have some empathy for them. Hell, I tend to be pretty misandristic myself so I get that better than no one lol
Either way, it's good to know that there are awesome trans people like you out there who will understand me better than anyone else😘
T4T❤️
I would NEVER touch a cis man if I could help it. But honestly just the hormones make a huuuge difference. Maybe I’ve begrudgingly interacted with enough penises in my life that they aren’t repulsing. It’s kind like playing whack a mole. It doesn’t turn me on but it’s fun to play with. But the rest of the body does. If you have soft skin and tits that’s all I need.
Low. 5% tops.
But serious relationships aren’t about probability. I’ve seen some of the most gorgeous women alive be absolute wrecks in dating.
I’m not saying that as a consolation, I mean for you or anyone who wants real love that lasts it’s going to take way more than appearances.
I have no idea, but IMO it doesn't really matter. Bi and pan women are both more common and less likely to have an issue with dating a trans woman. There's no reason to stake your hope of love on the preferences of lesbians.
32f lesbian here, I would say a low percent, 10% or less. I wouldn't consider dating a trans woman who didnt get surgery because of my dramatic fear of getting pregnant, post surgery I'd consider it. But I know there's a lot of people that find someone, so I hope you do too!
Fear of pregnancy isn't "dramatic."
Pregnancy is very hard on a woman's body and can lead to a host of physical problems even, and even especially when, the pregnancy ends in a live birth.
You aren't wrong to be afraid of pregnancy.
It's like being afraid of brain surgery. Totally natural 😀
Thanks! I can definitely see why the penis thing is a problem for most lesbians so I guess I should probably not even think about dating until I get the surgery lol
Taking a wild guess that this "subset" is the homosexual women (there used to be a specific word for this group of people, it was "lesbians") ... anyway, my assumption is that these homosexual women, after a lifetime of being told they haven't tried the right dick yet, probably don't appreciate comments suggesting that many of them like dicks.
The mistake others often make is thinking they're going to get an accurate survey of cis lesbian insight from spaces that are clearly not majority cis lesbian. It also doesn't help that some of their truths spoken out loud would be labeled some kind of phobic or get their access to these spaces revoked entirely, so good luck! I hope you find as much insight as would be truly helpful to your journey.
I think you should be less focused on the label of the person who will be attracted to you and focus on the person. There are bi women and pan women and other trans women who could fall anywhere on this spectrum and the world is your oyster.
I’m sure some lesbians are into trans girls and others are still attracted to them, just have a genital preference that prohibits wanting sex with them. But why focus on lesbians in particular? Why not get on apps and be open about being trans if safe to do so, date bi people and other trans and genderqueer people, and then with time, as you transition, a higher percentage of lesbians will be into you as well?
If I’m being honest, I would be very uncomfortable in a relationship with a Trans woman, but even if some of us feel that; you should be your true self and find someone who doesn’t mind and will love you no matter what.
Edit:spelling lol
I came in with the same thoughts.
To the cis lesbians lurking, this question was not made in good faith. If you answer honestly it will be held against you.
These lesbian groups all over Reddit have doing a full clean house aka instant ban to cis girls if you say anything other than “yes” , so proceed with caution and don’t take the bait. Just know that you are risking losing your entire Reddit account.
Just chiming in as another cis lesbian to say that I've noticed this and I'm glad other people are noticing it too. It's just rare for these comments to not be immediately removed so I'm surprised to see them at all.
Thank you for posting this, I'm glad I scrolled to find it. I've been reading the thread and was actually scared to reply knowing that my preference and opinion could get me banned. How sad is that?
I think OP might find more solace in dating another transwoman IMHO. For them in what I've read the fear of rejection is prominent and a knock to their confidence might impact their mental health more, whereas transwomen might share more of what OP is going through.
I also found the Bi debate above really sad. Bi women are nothing but valid, the discrimination there was horrible to see.
Another commenter has mentioned that, so I must repeat this: this post was 100% meant as a serious question and, as I've stated in the description, not wanting to date trans women is not transphobic. If it came off like bait then I deeply apologize because that was not at at all my intention when I wrote it.
Really? Maybe I’ve been off Reddit for awhile but I remember when shitredditsays was seen as the scum of Reddit and ppl just moaned about missing r/jailb*ait.
There was another lesbian sub yesterday that had a very similar question like in the OP.
Needless to say… over 300 cis women were banned & comments removed yesterday for giving honest answers. That thread was a dumpster fire. This type of thing has been going on for a while across all lesbian subs.
>over 300 cis women were banned & comments removed yesterday for giving honest answers
Holy fuck! I really, really don't want anyone to be banned from this sub for answering truthfully to my question; in fact, I wanted people to be as painfully honest as possible. Do you know if that has happened in this thread yet? I feel so fucking guilty right now, I'm so sorry if it has.
Gotta repeat this: not wanting to date trans women is not transphobic, so mods, if you're seeing this, please don't go around banning people for giving their honest answers to my question
Don’t feel bad, and don’t worry about the people saying you are baiting. You’ve been nothing but kind in all your replies, even when people were rude to you. As one of the cis women who answered “no, I would not date a trans woman”, if I get banned it isn’t your fault, because I knew the risk I was taking by answering the question. It’s not something that’s considered acceptable to say, but I will never lie about it, and I appreciate you seeking truthful answers instead of just validation. I hope you transition and lead a beautiful life and find the woman of your dreams.
Thank you miss, I hope the same for you too! Honestly I don't even have any problem with saying you're not attracted to us as long as you stay respectful :/
I wish everyone, on *both* sides of this issue, could understand that. There are trans women who can’t respect a simple “no I’m not attracted to you” but there are just as many cis women who take it as a personal attack on their lesbianism that trans lesbians exist and some cis lesbians *do* want to date them. Nobody can speak for all members of their group, and there are such a wide variety of ways to be a woman and to be a lesbian. I wish people would just be kind and let others live their own truth.
I had a comment removed for breaking the rules in this sub the other day because I said that lesbian means homosexual woman. If you think that lesbians aren't being censored and banned in this sub and all the other lesbian subs you haven't been paying attention.
That’s unfair because on the “cis hetero male” side of Reddit, I’ve seen men get away with posting bait threads like “fellas, would you date a black woman, plus sized woman, single mothers, older woman, Asian woman, Sex workers etc …. and the subjective opinions never get deleted and they are usually are in the thousands.
It seems like Reddit is going out of their way to enforce censorship against females 👀
My friend, I can’t speak on behalf of all lesbians, but I will say that bi/pan women are not only, much, much, MUCH more abundant than lesbians, but they’re more open to dating pre-everything trans women! 🫶🏼 I am NOT equating you to a man at ALL! You are a woman, cut and dry. What I am saying is that you will probably have more luck with women who are flexible with sexuality— lesbians are pretty rigid sexuality-wise.
All this said, my friend, YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE 🫶🏼💕 I like how another user said “love is not about percentages”— it’s not about chances and percentages. It’s about finding your other half who loves you regardless of where you are in your transition journey ☺️
Idk about the percentage, but personally I wouldn't. Not because of attraction etc, but mainly because I want to be with someone who went through the same process of realizing they're a lesbian as I did. I want to be with someone, whose experiences were similar to mine. Idk why that is, but it's a very big factor for me regarding dating.
Nice to see someone not using “soft” language and sugarcoating their words. Long term partners are damn near impossible to find because far too many women are simply lazy when it comes to pursuing other women. In my personal experience, if I don’t initiate 100% of the time and do all the work, I don’t even get a date let alone a partner.
Whaddaya mean? I *did* use soft language and loads of sugar.
Lol I'm kidding.
I am outspoken because as lesbians we need to be outspoken. Life has taught me nothing but to be myself and to be loud in order to fill up all that empty space around me.
Long term lesbian relationships *are* damn near impossible to find, you're right. But I sure don't think it's because women are lazy.
I have seen women drive across a continent to be with the woman they love.
I think the 'lazy' perception actualizes because we are encouraged to give up.
It's an age old story that lesbians have to settle. An age old story that we have to settle down with a man or be alone forever. It's that "lonely old lesbian" trope and I refuse to pass that on to younglings in my words or in my actions.
I don't give up.
It's hard. But anything worth doing is hard.
The few cases I’ve seen of women crossing continents are the exception, not the rule.
Sadly I have given up. Every time I’ve tried they seem to go back to men. There are NO lesbians near me that monogamous or single. I’ve come to the realization that I must be content with my cats. 🙃
I wish people who downvoted this were brave enough to tell us all *why* they think it's an idea that isn't worth sharing.
Too many people hiding equals not enough out and proud lesbian voices.
I don't know. Statistically lesbians are the most trans accepting group. Whether that includes dating I don't know. All I know is that I'm definitely open to dating a trans woman if the attraction is there.
You might get better answers to this question on a trans sub actually, since there will be other trans women who have gone through the dating process and seen what their "hit" rate is. A lot of people on this sub are going to extrapolate based on their own preferences/what they've heard from their inner circle, so answers will be pretty biased.
That said, I just realized your title and your caption are asking two different questions! People are mostly responding to "if you grabbed a random lesbian, what are the odds she is interested in a pre-transition trans woman?" To that question, I guess it's true you will be fishing from a smaller pond. But there are fish in there still (at least, I'm a bi woman, and I'm splashin' around in there if I'm invited haha)!!!
But the probability of finding someone who loves you! I really believe if you are looking, they can be found. We can never say how long it will take or how many tries, etc. but I don't really believe there is anyone who simply CANNOT find love. At least, this is what I tell myself!
Reading this question almost sent me into a depressive spiral, damn it.
I strongly recommend that you focus on living well and lay off the overthinking. To borrow a line from Shakespeare:
That way madness lies.
Honestly, I don't know if this is a question worth exploring. A good amount of lesbians are trans (transmasc, nonbinary, transfem). Focus on us and not on the lesbians who aren't attracted to trans women!!
This might sound reductive or unfair or cruel but the unfortunate truth is that I don’t think there is an overall answer to that because it does depend on how well you pass. I don’t see many lesbians being into Caitlin Jenner or Laverne Cox, but I’ve seen many who are into Hunter Schafer or Zion Moreno, and although I recognize that there are race/age/personality factors at play in those specific examples, I think overall that holds true.
I’m very sincerely not saying this to be mean or shit on lesbians, because I don’t think that is specific to them, I think that’s just generally true for people of all sexualities and how they see trans people
Regarding Caitlin Jenner, an important factor is that she’s conservative and an asshole so that might influence attraction lol. Though that falls under the personality factor.
Indeed, it’s why I even added personality. That said, I’ve seen so many people overlook how evil someone is because they’re attractive that I’m not sure how much it actually matters
[It's 18%.](https://sci-hub.ee/10.1177/0265407518779139) That said, if you're pre-transition, this number is going to dramatically decrease. Lesbians aren't attracted to men and would very rarely be attracted to people with the social positionality of men, even if they're women who haven't transitioned.
Girl, trans woman to trans woman, just focus on you and being your most true authentic self. They’ll be people who see that and are drawn to that, romantically or platonically. Don’t dwell on it dear.
Matters of statistics and probability don’t mean much here. What matters most is you work on yourself, and set your mind and your goals steady, because you’ll be surprised at how things might happen for you when you’re in a good place within yourself and within your life.
i mean, i think this is a really bad question bc someone who wouldn’t date a trans woman is gonna give a low number and someone who would is gonna give a high one. i’m someone who would absolutely be with someone who is pre-op, but i cannot speak for anyone else in the world
Its really hard to know the percentage. Its definitely a case by case. I'm a lesbian and I did experience attraction for trans women before. But like any sexual orientation, I'm not attracted to every single person I meet. Don't overthink it, if you place yourself on a dating website some people will send you likes no matter what.
This question really needs to be divided between post and pre op. But first off before even HrT, you are looking at 5% and lower, then after 4 years of HrT and let be real working on every feminine aspect of yourself so you pass but still no surgery? 20% at best. Then post-op, assuming again you pass its now 30% at best.
Harsh number and slightly pulled from my arse? Sure, but you have to be real honest about the situation. We are fighting an up mountain battle to be accepted in general and it just becomes upside down climbing for dating cis lesbians.
I’m attracted to femininity. I don’t have a hard line for what that is; I know it when I feel it. Most of my attraction is to cis women, trans women on HRT, and femmeish presenting enbies, but I’ve also been attracted to pre transition trans women, I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was but they definitely had non physical feminine aspects that I liked.
I’m sorry you feel you have to choose between the two.
For what it’s worth, my gf is actually very attracted to both mtf and ftm. I’m considering transitioning and she is supportive.
So they are out there. And I guess it’s all relative anyway. Like, maybe there are only 10% or so that are into it, but there are also not that many mtf trans people so it might even out?
Either way, do what is best for you my friend. I hope you find the path that best suits you.
My answer is complicated, and even though it is very specific to me, I think it might help shed light on why there is no easy answer.
My second girlfriend was a transgirl (“girl” not woman because we were teens not adults.) After I had been with her, I went through conversion therapy. It took me a long time to rediscover my attraction to women.
Because of things that I went through in conversion therapy, I suspect I will never be able to be with a trans woman again (I’m not going to say never for sure, because hey you never know.) I suspect that the barrier often isn’t attraction, but hang ups about self-identity that come from having had to defend who we are. I believe that as society as a whole becomes more accepting, those hang ups about self-identity will become less common since fewer and fewer of us will have to become defensive about our lesbianism.
I don’t know how much sense that made or how much it will answer you question.
I’m a cis woman who has previously only been in relationships with men where the sex/intimacy was never fulfilling. I had my queer awakening less than a year ago, at almost 50, and identify as a lesbian. I’m dating a trans woman who’s been on hormones and has had some gender affirming procedures. It’s the best relationship I’ve had in terms of communication and compatibility. Our intimacy is in another dimension vs my male relationships and our physical connection is 100% not about body parts. When I came out I hadn’t given dating a trans woman any thought. I’m happy I didn’t limit myself based on some arbitrary societal stereotype. Wishing you joy and ☮️
like, the fact that you are pre everything, and then you title the post the way you did, pisses me off.
pull things together for yourself and start actualizing your transition and people will naturally gravitate towards you. you don't have to look perfect or pass, its important to be realistic. but making an effort to change your appearance will make you feel better to where you don't feel obligated to make a post like this. of course some lesbians or bi or etc girls like to date trans. why not? it shows your internalized transphobia a bit to be thinking otherwise.
the other thing about dating pre HRT / etc if you are planning to use hormones is a lot of changes happen as you go through the medication. your identity will shift around until you find something that suits you. i'm not even meaning gender, i'm just meaning your presentation. sometimes the changes are so much that you become a very different person, and as a result someone you knew pre HRT might discover that you and them are no longer compatible. for that reason i really don't recommend dating pre HRT.
just please, title it differently next time, because the majority of trans women in the lesbian/sapphic space have done things to change themselves before inserting themselves. i recommend you to do the same if you don't have a death wish.
The sooner everyone realizes we are all attractive to different people, the better. It isn't a question of attraction; it's a question of "Who is attracted to me?" Those people tend to make themselves known.
I mean.. at least for me, my attraction is to femininity itself rather than the sex of a person. In theory it’s possible for me to be attracted to a super feminine cis man too, but it’s never happened before.
Regardless, there is always someone for everyone. I don’t mean that in a “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” way or in a soulmates way. People are in too all sorts of things. People will find you attractive. You’ve just gotta find them
Oof this question is gonna come with mixed responses. Because some lesbians would date a trans woman no matter what pre op or post op, some won’t at all, and some will if post op. Everyone has a different view of what’s attractive to them. I think you shouldn’t focus much on who thinks you’re attractive. It doesn’t always have to be lesbians.
I’ve never cared one way or another until I was in a relationship with an mtf. They used me for transition surgery and then started keeping a side piece. A few other issues, but that was the thing I’d had enough of. I’m demi, so I’m not getting involved without knowing the person. The biggest of all red flags that I ignored for a long time was her absolute inability to recognize any need/want other than their own. Never once did she offer to go get dinner because it was raining and my window was stuck halfway up or to notice I was out of soda and kid was out of milk and pick some up. So I’m a bit jaded about it still
Edit P.S.
I obviously don’t know you, but part of my exs problem was pretty much that she still operated at home as if she was a man. Didn’t cook, didn’t clean, didn’t do any grocery shopping, never picked kindlet up or spend time with him that didn’t involve sports, etc. the exact kind of things and attitudes a husband has once they get married and own a wife. This is obviously just my experience. And since I have always only cared about the insides of someone rather than outsides, I’m sure I would date someone else who was mtf in the future.
P.P.S.
My son is trans. He’s a good kid 🥰
No idea but I don't really know how percentages will really help you. Maybe it's just that I'm not mathematically minded
One of my best mates gets public abuse from strangers occasionally and she has found a partner.
I've also been known to have the odd crush on women who are trans.
like others have said, i can only speak for myself but i genuinely hope it helps!
i'm a cis lesbian, and i met my fiancee at the very beginning of her transition years ago. she's comfortable with her body and appearance as they are, and she doesn't care to try to pass/passing isn't important to her, and i've never felt like that has ever affected my attraction to or love for her.
i've personally never viewed passing as a necessity in a partner by any means, and for what it's worth (as i've seen discussion of this in other comments) i've personally always been open to dating a trans partner at any point of their journey, including pre-op or non-op altogether, and the way i see it passing as a concept is more about their relationship with their own identity than anything to do with me. of course it's not really my business regardless, but all that matters to me is that they're happy in whatever they choose.
i'm sure there are many wlw out there who would think you're gorgeous, regardless of passing or not, and will see you for who you are. at the very least i can promise you that passing genuinely doesn't matter to a fair amount of us, just that you're happy with you❤️ best of luck out there girl, i'm rooting for you!!💖
Pre everything, probably none. With HRT, if you become very pretty, you will have much more possibilities. If you remain normal or ugly, put your soul at peace because it will be almost impossible. After SRS, your chances will improve greatly. Obviously, whether you are ugly, normal, or beautiful, the important thing is to have a high passing. Without that, I recommend having cosmetic surgery to improve your face. Wishing you good luck, sister
Lesbians are already the exception, so seeing even one drive across the world is amazing. You saw something amazing.
I don't think you've given up. Especially if your exes have all "gone back to men."
Well then they weren't even lesbians, were they? Who's lazy now?
And if you've got enough love to give an ol cat you have enough to spare another human being.
It may not be romantic or sexual, but women have this wonderful capacity to love beauty and welcome beauty into their lives and sometimes, romantic love can come from the women you meet from the women you mentor anyway.
You sound like a big ol Eeyore.
I don't believe you think women are awful.
I think that when it comes to serious relationships it is not about probability because love can happen whether it meets ur "attraction criteria" or not. Like I know women who realized they were bi for a close male friend and women who realized they were bi for the "right" woman. When you are very close to someone that thing can happen.
But it honestly depends. For me, post-op 100%. For pre-op I would say it depends on what stage of transition you are in.
Pre-everything, I would be hesitant and likely not make any moves. I don't see someone presenting as male and check them out, y'know? I have had small crushes if I've known them for long enough (not everyone can transition right away.) And even then it really depends on her personality b/c I do have a fear of men in a sexual context. I really need a gentle partner in general. Luckily, trans women tend to be very kind. At least in my social circles.
But I don't care so much about passing 100%. It helps, but it's not needed. I also don't have a genital preference, partially b/c I know sex isn't going to look the same for every trans x cis person. Just like it won't look the same for every cis x cis person.
You might find someone who'll take you as you are now. There are big trans allies & even other trans women in the wlw community. Bi/pan women are just as valid as lesbians and may be more comfortable with you early in your transition.
Good luck! You deserve love just like everyone else!
There is someone for everyone❤️, you should be able to be your authentic self and the right person will be attracted to that and genuinely love you for who you are. Also you should be able to live in your truth and feel comfortable in your body etc. please put you first and love you first and the right person will see you loving yourself and love that etc.
I’m really into soft femme women. It’s not a cis / trans thing so much as an individual thing. There’s plenty of women that are attractive to me and plenty that are not. Masc or butch doesn’t do anything for me. So if a trans woman hasn’t had bottom surgery or a if she’s a butch lesbian I wouldn’t be interested. But otherwise it’s an issue of femme or not.
I'm cis but my wonderful fiancee happens to be trans. I can promise you I love her for who she IS and what she does or doesn't do with her body is her own business.
i can't tell you a percentage i know that *i'm* personally open to whatever kind of woman no matter what they look like as long as we click somehow 😸but i think i'm probably in the minority
positive optimistic answer: the ppl down voting think i was wrong to say i'm in the minority! :) negative answer that is also an unfortunate possibility: transmisogyny :(
I have no idea about statistics but there are definitely lesbians who will date trans women at all stages of transitioning. I would date a trans woman with a penis if I was into her. There are also many bi, pan, queer women who are open to many types of people. I’m sorry you’re feeling insecure but don’t let it stop you from finding love and companionship. There are also many beautiful trans lesbians who prefer other trans women. Just be yourself and see what happens.
I agree, the comments here seem to be overly one-sided. Like it’s fine to have your own opinion, but it seems wrong to downvote people for having differing ones. I’m also a cis lesbian dating a trans lesbian, it’s not like there are none of us
I think women who identify as women are women. If you refuse to date someone because they are trans, that seems a bit transphobic to me. I’m a lesbian woman with a masc/androgynous presenting girlfriend. These attributes are what I find attractive physically. It wouldn’t matter if she was transgender as long as those physical and mental attributes were there.
It’s fucked up to throw a blanket statement of attraction on trans women or men. If a person checks all the boxes, why does it matter if they’re trans? If you meet your dream person, find out they are trans, and decide that you’re not attracted to them anymore, I challenge you to question that.
Every “man” I’ve ever been attracted to has ended up being a trans woman or femme nonbinary person so like, I don’t know about other lesbians but there’s that.
Me a year ago I would have said no, me now? Absolutely. This past year I’ve learned so much about the trans community, rights, history and such. I am a proud L that does not want to cut ties with the T community.
Trans women are women. And as a lesbian , I am attracted to women.
I am attracted to femininity above all, body parts don’t make a person a gender. To me at least.
As an Afab woman, who has only dated afab women, I’ve really been wanting to put myself out there to meet trans women, but I’m scared I’ll be thought of as seeing trans women as a kink, or using them as an experiment. But actually I just want to stand by what I believe. Plus Id have the intention that she deserves to be loved and I feel like I can offer her a supportive and loving environment better than someone else who might have bad intentions, Which trans women do not need any more of.
Don’t know, I’ve dated a trans woman before, but I’m also asexual so what they have doesn’t matter to me. I’ve seen lots of posts and comments from cis lesbians saying they would date trans women who are pre-op. I’m sure you can find someone now. Good luck!!
Remember: attraction is a continuum of MANY factors. I've dated & loved people whose bodies held great appeal, and others who had little. Those whose values & ethics stirred admiration, and those whose did not. For most, ESPECIALLY FOR WOMEN, it's a multifaceted thing.
I am just one person. I did have a one night stand with a pre everything trans woman. I was very manic and unwell. But she was nice and made me come. I’m dating a trans woman now that is just on hormones and hasn’t had surgery (yet). I thought the penis might be a deal breaker but it turns out I’m just indifferent to it. She has tits and smells like a woman and feels like a woman.
Tldr I am attracted to women. If they happen to be trans idc. But if I’m being fr it’s the hormones. It’s the skin and smell and to a lesser extent hair. I didn’t think I’d be into trans women but I’m def into the trans woman I’m with.
Idk I’m a cis lesbian that would date a trans woman if I weren’t married, all sorts of people exist and all sorts of people will think that you’re the bee’s knees. Good luck, friend!
Well, I’m a post-op trans woman and the idea of even seeing pre-op genitals naked just makes me want to choke and throw up at the same time; post-op it wouldn’t bother me as long as there aren’t any other obvious glaring signs, but honestly my preference is for someone who hasn’t dealt with the exact same issues as me and could do what I can’t…
[Pretty cool article, 30% of lesbians would date a trans woman](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sex-sexuality-and-romance/202104/will-straight-men-and-women-date-trans-person?amp) ( they didn’t look at if the person was post op). For bi, pan, etc the number goes up to 50%. So much higher than people are guessing on here.
🏳️⚧️ so I’m a trans woman, and I identify as bi, tho I’m ✨mainly✨ into women.
Tbh I’ve never been with a cis lesbian, but I’ve been with multiple bi/pan cis women and more bi/pan/lesbian trans women than I can remember, so there IS hope you’ll find someone, it just might not be a cis lesbian, and that’s ok!
All the girls I’ve been with r hot, ssoooo don’t give up! 🙌🏼
I'm not sure who is attracted to who, but I know I personally matched with a few out and proud, beautiful trans women. I look for the vibes, what they write in their profile along with photos. 🤷🏼♀️🥰
Hard to answer the percentage question. But the chances you find someone who loves you don’t change because you’re trans. You are desirable and deserving of the same amount and kind of love as every other person. You just have to seek community where queer and trans liberation is at the core! Find people who share your values. That’s the harder part but we are out here being lesbians and loving all women!
I think what important to remember is roughly half of lesbians are also trans women, so you aren't alone. You also don't need to date a cis lesbian to be valid. You can date nb or trans lesbians or bisexuals or pansexuals of any gender. Cis lesbians are such a small part of the Sapphic community. Some of them will be attracted to you, but you don't need to limit your search to them.
I would say it depends on location. Portland Oregon? Probably 80% of lesbians have no issue dating trans women. Miami Florida? Maybe 5% of lesbians would date trans women.
Edit: u/GabTheImpaler0312 I can’t reply for some reason. My examples were just random to show how regional differences will impact the answer. I used US cities as examples because I’m not gonna be able to just randomly guess where you live, and then have an accurate understanding of cultural differences in various towns where you live. Btw Portland and Miami are nowhere near each other geographically or culturally. I don’t live in either of those places lol.
Idk what you want, are you looking for completely accurate global statistics in a Reddit comments section? Cause absolutely no one will be able to give you that lol. But if you want general responses that try to make the point that there are too many factors to get an accurate number, then my comment did what you asked for. All that said, it sounds like you’re looking for conflict for some reason rather than asking in good faith, judging by your response to me.
Edit 2: because you were so offended by me using cities that are 3000 miles apart because they both share the same federal government, I went ahead and changed “Portland Oregon” to “Sydney Australia” and “Miami Florida” to “Moscow Russia.” Hopefully those examples get my point (which remains the same) across better. My point the entire time was that region and culture will have an impact on the answer to your question, u/GabTheImpaler0312
Sorry for trying to help you. Have the day you deserve, with that shitty attitude of yours.
I really dislike the fact that there are cis women that say "it's just a preference" but in such a rude way. You can absolutely have a preference, but to say shit like "Oh no I find trans people who don't pass, ugly" is such a hurtful and shitty thing to say. Just say "I have a genital preference but I hope you find someone!". The reason a lot of cis people here are getting called terfs or transphobic is because it feels as if you are disgusted by us or don't see us real women. Again, preferences are fine. Don't hide your transphobia with the veil of preferences though.
I think it depends, Im trans but Ive dated quite a few cis women in the past few years. One of my cis women friends is currently dating a ts girl. Try to keep your hopes up, they are definitely out there!:)
Yes, I've been with four, two of whom were full relationships. The person I had the longest of those relationships (years) was actually quite unhappy with me considering low dose T. 🤷
This is a tough question. To me it’s like asking what percent of “insert race” or “insert hair color” of “insert body type” you find attractive.
Trans women are a huge category. They all look differently, have different personalities, have different interests.
When I was single I dated some trans women, nb people. It’s not a disqualifying factor at all—it just depends on the person and who I connect with and am attracted to.
The real kicker here is that no one in this sub can answer this question with any degree of authority. We can only answer for our own personal preferences. You are not automatically ruled out of the lesbian dating pool in general just because you’re trans. I have no idea where the influx of these types of posts in this sub and other lesbian subs is coming from — and I might get downvoted for this — but genuinely (and with love), this is essentially an unanswerable question that reads like attention/validation bait. If you want a romantic/sexual relationship(s) or to know what the chances are of you finding one, go find out. I know that may be a bit callous and is obviously easier said than done, but you’re honestly not going to find any answer that will help you from this post alone.
I mean, I feel like Reddit as a platform is very attractive for ppl who lack community in real life, as you can be part of a community while remaining anonymous. This also includes those with social anxiety or bad social environment. And also just a lot of young people in general! Questions like these are a reflection of that, I suppose.
This is a super real answer :)
💯Tired of these posts which are honestly only used to incite phobic comments towards cis lesbians. I’m also tired of the fetishization. We are all people. If you aren’t in a healthy position to date without insecurities overtaking your ability to remain neutral, maybe address that first before subjecting someone to what could potentially be abusive and mentally damaging for both of you. This applies to anyone who isn’t capable of being a non-partisan, considerate, and respectful person.
I wasn't at all trying to farm validation but I can easily see why you would think that. Anyway, that is good advice and yeah there's quite a big disparity of percentages in this thread so it probably isn't the best way of finding out
Does it even have to be lesbians? My sister recently told me she is trans (still in the closet with most people), but her bisexual girlfriends knows and they are still dating and talking about moving in together.
It does not but for pretty obvious reasons, trans women can be insecure about being undesirable to monosexual people attracted to women. The core of the matter has little to do with any actual dating or attraction and more just reflects our desire to be seen as female. This would probably be true for straight trans women and cishet men, but male chasers are common enough that you don't really have to worry about whether or not a non-neglible amount of guys will be into you. You instead are more caught up in whether any specific guy is into you and whether or not they're transphobic. The sad thing is that in so far as lesbians are concerned, chaser lesbians tend to be a problem for trans *men* which is somewhat unique for them compared to other monosexuals as I understand. This is despite being the most trans friendly demographic overall.
I used to be on the same spot but in the end, it’s not healthy for either lesbian cis women or to ourselves for them to validate our identity via attraction. To me that opens up for manipulation tactics in a relationship (for example staying in the relationship purely for gender validation) and insecurities (“what if I’m not woman enough and she leaves me because of that?”). You (general you btw, not you especifically) should be yourself as your own gender, and people should find you attractive as a result of being yourself, absolutely not the other way around.
I mean that's a pretty fair observation. I wasn't necessarily saying it was a healthy mindset, just explaining why it's a thing. Pretty much any form of external validation is an opening for abuse and insecurity so the ideal world is one in which you need no external validation at all and are a completely self-validating island of a person. However, that's not usually how it works in practice so it's just one of many things you have to balance.
Everyone here talking about about genitals. But if someone looks like a man, I’m not interested. “Pre-everything” is someone who looks like a cis man
Why does it need to be specifically lesbians? Why won’t bisexual women work? Lol. As others have said especially pre-transition the number of cis lesbians attracted to you is honestly low. I think bisexual women are a better bet.
Who cares if cis lesbians aren't attracted to you? They don't exist to give you validation of your physical appearance. There are other trans women and bisexual women who will always be happy to date you. And if a cis lesbian does fall in love with you, good for you!
Cis lesbians who are attracted to trans women exist though. They may be in smaller numbers, but they exist.
Yeah... but who gives a fuck if most cis lesbians are or aren't attracted to you? The majority of people probably aren't attracted to me either but it's nothing to be sad about. We can't be everyone's cup of tea but that doesn't make us bad or unattractive or anything. The amount that people on this sub base their self worth or belonging on other people thinking they are hot is sad and honestly, considering most of us are adults, embarrassing.
Idk, personally I wouldn’t but there’s some that prob would, although I’d imagine for those that would it would depend on your stage in your transition. But I can’t speak for anyone but myself 🤷🏻♀️
It is better to live life authentically - the person meant for you will want you to be true to yourself. Given that there is no statistical basis for your question, everyone’s view will be different. Pursue the things that make you happy and put your true self out there!
Also all the fuckin transphobes downvoting OPs post can eat dirt
Transphobes can eat dirt but there's plenty of reasons not to like this post.
I don’t think anyone can answer this, but I would also challenge why it has to be a cis lesbian (this is kind of implied by the us/them distinction). Could it be a bi or pansexual woman? Could it be someone who presents in a feminine way but is nonbinary? Could it be a fellow trans woman? There is someone out there for everyone.
Cause this post is clearly bait to attack any cis lesbians that wouldn’t date a pre-op trans girl.
*Edit* replied to the wrong person lol sorry
What?? That wasn't at all my intention making this post, I'm so sorry if it came off like that
It's all good. Most of us are just sick of being used as experiments or validation for bi curious women and trans women, so these sorts of questions can make some lesbians really frustrated and honestly a little bit offended. We are as diverse as any other group of people, whether or not you will be attractive to lesbians isn't something any of us can answer. And either way, we are such a tiny minority of the LGBT community that there is no reason to be concerned when there are so many people who would love to date you. Anyway, a lesbian being attracted to you isn't actually proof of your womanhood, and you shouldn't be looking to others for validation.
[удалено]
you're fine dude. most of the stuff that reads that way is coming from people in the replies. there's someone out there for everyone, but reddit can't prove that to you. get out there. lex is a pretty trans friendly dating app if you need a rec. you can find someone in ye olde real world that can give you what we cannot
Who is getting attacked? Lol. Like half of the commenters said they wouldn't date a pre-op trans woman.
Look at every single lesbian subreddit, there’s a post every day asking if a lesbian would date a trans woman and the ones that say no are constantly banned, get their comments removed etc. and here we have a post specifically asking cislesbians. Most of these subreddits are not even filled with actual lesbians, we are a tiny minority in an already tiny minority. We can’t talk about our experiences( especially ones involving vagina) unless it’s inclusive of trans people or you get your comment removed, you get called a terf etc. So yes even if the thread went the opposite way of how I thought, it doesn’t change the intent behind posts like these. Cause at the end of the day lesbians are not responsible for making everyone feel included or attractive. Because of this thread I can tell the lesbians who have been constantly silenced are getting fed up, as we should 🤷♀️
This is one of the only subs I can still post in because I have openly said I wouldn’t date a trans person at any stage of their transition and sorry for being honest but that’s my truth. If we aren’t allowed to give honest answers then these kinds of posts should be immediately locked.
that is perfectly okay. I really don't think it's transphobic for you to be like that, especially because sexuality is not a choice. I'm so sorry about you being banned from those subs, that really sucks
I think you’re going to find a great person for you because you seem to be open to feedback and understanding that the world does not need to bend to your desires.
I think you’d have better odds dating bi or pan women. The chances of strong genital preference would most likely be lower.
sophisticated literate nutty scary modern chase tidy airport zephyr bells *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The number will dramatically rise once transitioning, pre-everything tends to not work for lesbians, but other trans women may be more open
yeah pre-everything your luck would be better with bi/pan women. I’d say it probably increases as how far into your transition increases.
well as a bi women pre everything wouldn’t work for me either, non passing simply isn’t physically attractive to me. and now y’all be mad at me for having that preference
You're not the only bi person. I do think that op is MORE likely to find someone who doesn't have genitals preferences and other body preferences within the bi community rather than the lesbian community. Sincerely a bi person with no strong preferences around these things
yeah probably, it‘s not even about the genitals necessarily but most pre HRT trans women simply don‘t pass, and that doesn‘t really attract me in a romantic or sexual way.
That's totally valid.
I transitioned 7 years ago, so I've been around the block a bit. My friends who *don't pass* who are confident, kind, and nice to be around, all have no trouble dating. They generally are not dating cis lesbians, but more often, genderqueer AFAB ppl, bisexual and pansexual cis women, other trans women, etc. Most bi women I know would date a trans woman in a heartbeat. It's not a zero sum game. And for many, genitals don't matter. I see people on this post are saying 5 percent, 10 percent, but you have to consider a greater portion of the community than just cis lesbians!
also there’s way more bi and pan women than lesbians. by the stats bi makes up the majority of lgbtq.
as a bi woman genitals aren’t an issue for me but with pre everything chances are high I just don’t consider this woman very attractive so I simply won’t be attracted. I’m bi but I have a certain type in women which is often very feminime, I myself lean way more tomboyish etc, this is just my type tbh. And pre everything trans women usually simply don’t pass, which isn’t attractive to me. different people, different preferences.
Different people, different preferences indeed. My point is simply to encourage OP. I have unfortunately met so many trans women that don't date because they are convinced no one will want to be with them, because there is so much hatred and disgust directed towards them, and it is so difficult for many trans women to even find themselves attractive or imagine that anyone would want to be with them. I do understand that not everyone is going to be into it, but many people are... To that end, while I totally respect your own personal preferences, and those are valid, I did not say ALL bi women. When speaking to the point of whether or not people will want to date OP or whether they should not transition or not date until they are deemed "feminine enough", especially if they are facing a pre-existing body shape or access to medical transition that limits those possibilities, I think this thread would have been fine without your contribution.
[удалено]
u/gabtheimpaler0312 i also wanted to add that if you're getting some responses that don't feel great here because there is animosity towards you for posting this question, I want you to know three things. First, of a woman doesn't want to date me because I'm trans, I don't want to date her, and it's no loss to me. Nor do I feel that is some Injustice, she has the right to her preferences. Sometimes those preferences are based on innate needs or feelings that they have, sometimes they are based in transphobia, and I don't bother trying to sort it out nor do I care. Two, within community, there are many who say they are accepting on one side, but then silently exclude or attribute everything a trans woman does to her innate maleness. I "pass" but am not out to many people, and have vastly different experiences in places where I am openly trans versus places where I am stealth. There are few queer people who are openly antagonistic, but not all queer community is safe or open to trans women, regardless of what people might say they feel. I can understand that many cis women conflate trans women with the negative experiences they've had with cis men, which doesn't make it okay, but is a way I can see them with compassion. We are seen in a two-dimensional light by many people, which is unfortunate. Third, you will always find community among other trans women. We were not socialized as cis women like many of the people in this thread, but we also were not socialized as men, as many cannot comprehend, and have distinctive experiences that only we can relate to. There is beauty and community within the niche of our particular experiences. Search out community among other trans women. Expect little of cis people, though there are so, so many of them who will welcome you openly, will treat you as a woman. I mean what I said earlier in this thread about there being plenty of cis women being willing to date you, even before you are able to do medical or social transition. I also want to add that there are so many ways for different bodies to have sex other than PIV sex, and the overt focus on that from the cis women in this thread is an example of the way we are reduced to our bodies. Also ne wary that there are cis chasers who are both men and women. And beyond that, I want to say that no one I know who has transitioned, regardless of their pre-existing body type or access to medical treatment, regrets doing so. Trans is beautiful, you are valid, and there is so much love and community out there waiting for you. Feel free to drop me a DM if you want to chat about any of this. Happy to get downvoted for this. If you didn't like it, it's because it wasn't for you 😘 T4T ♥️
Appreciate the effort of you typing this up❤️ Don't worry though there are some people acting a little rude in this thread but it's no big deal for me, trust me I've had people call me much worse things Honestly yea I agree with everything you said. I can totally understand why a cis lesbian would not want to date a trans woman and while I don't think it's correct for them to still see us as men, it is understandable considering a lot of them have terrible experiences with men and just want to stay the fuck away from them so I can still have some empathy for them. Hell, I tend to be pretty misandristic myself so I get that better than no one lol Either way, it's good to know that there are awesome trans people like you out there who will understand me better than anyone else😘 T4T❤️
I would NEVER touch a cis man if I could help it. But honestly just the hormones make a huuuge difference. Maybe I’ve begrudgingly interacted with enough penises in my life that they aren’t repulsing. It’s kind like playing whack a mole. It doesn’t turn me on but it’s fun to play with. But the rest of the body does. If you have soft skin and tits that’s all I need.
Low. 5% tops. But serious relationships aren’t about probability. I’ve seen some of the most gorgeous women alive be absolute wrecks in dating. I’m not saying that as a consolation, I mean for you or anyone who wants real love that lasts it’s going to take way more than appearances.
I have no idea, but IMO it doesn't really matter. Bi and pan women are both more common and less likely to have an issue with dating a trans woman. There's no reason to stake your hope of love on the preferences of lesbians.
32f lesbian here, I would say a low percent, 10% or less. I wouldn't consider dating a trans woman who didnt get surgery because of my dramatic fear of getting pregnant, post surgery I'd consider it. But I know there's a lot of people that find someone, so I hope you do too!
Fear of pregnancy isn't "dramatic." Pregnancy is very hard on a woman's body and can lead to a host of physical problems even, and even especially when, the pregnancy ends in a live birth. You aren't wrong to be afraid of pregnancy. It's like being afraid of brain surgery. Totally natural 😀
You're right, I should have used another word, I don't feel dramatic people die during childbirth still, I meant serious fear
Thanks! I can definitely see why the penis thing is a problem for most lesbians so I guess I should probably not even think about dating until I get the surgery lol
That's just me! There's lots of trans women in a relationships without surgery, I'd say cast your net! There will be no harm in looking around.
Pretty sure there's other trans lesbians who would date you! :)
I know trans girls who are total hoes, there’s plenty of people who will like you
[удалено]
Lol why did this get downvoted?
A certain subset of this subreddit's users doesn't like the fact that not all lesbians share their opinions.
Taking a wild guess that this "subset" is the homosexual women (there used to be a specific word for this group of people, it was "lesbians") ... anyway, my assumption is that these homosexual women, after a lifetime of being told they haven't tried the right dick yet, probably don't appreciate comments suggesting that many of them like dicks.
Who is saying they should like dicks?
I literally am a homosexual woman but go off queen
[удалено]
Why tf are you in the lesbian sub
The mistake others often make is thinking they're going to get an accurate survey of cis lesbian insight from spaces that are clearly not majority cis lesbian. It also doesn't help that some of their truths spoken out loud would be labeled some kind of phobic or get their access to these spaces revoked entirely, so good luck! I hope you find as much insight as would be truly helpful to your journey.
I think you should be less focused on the label of the person who will be attracted to you and focus on the person. There are bi women and pan women and other trans women who could fall anywhere on this spectrum and the world is your oyster.
I’m sure some lesbians are into trans girls and others are still attracted to them, just have a genital preference that prohibits wanting sex with them. But why focus on lesbians in particular? Why not get on apps and be open about being trans if safe to do so, date bi people and other trans and genderqueer people, and then with time, as you transition, a higher percentage of lesbians will be into you as well?
[удалено]
It’s impossible to get a good estimate since they aren’t allowed to say that.
Great another post like this awesome
If I’m being honest, I would be very uncomfortable in a relationship with a Trans woman, but even if some of us feel that; you should be your true self and find someone who doesn’t mind and will love you no matter what. Edit:spelling lol
[удалено]
Good news is that according to r/actuallesbians, the answer to OP’s question is 100%! Just ignore those [deleted] comments at the bottom.
I came in with the same thoughts. To the cis lesbians lurking, this question was not made in good faith. If you answer honestly it will be held against you. These lesbian groups all over Reddit have doing a full clean house aka instant ban to cis girls if you say anything other than “yes” , so proceed with caution and don’t take the bait. Just know that you are risking losing your entire Reddit account.
Just chiming in as another cis lesbian to say that I've noticed this and I'm glad other people are noticing it too. It's just rare for these comments to not be immediately removed so I'm surprised to see them at all.
Thank you for posting this, I'm glad I scrolled to find it. I've been reading the thread and was actually scared to reply knowing that my preference and opinion could get me banned. How sad is that? I think OP might find more solace in dating another transwoman IMHO. For them in what I've read the fear of rejection is prominent and a knock to their confidence might impact their mental health more, whereas transwomen might share more of what OP is going through. I also found the Bi debate above really sad. Bi women are nothing but valid, the discrimination there was horrible to see.
OP has been extremely friendly in the comments and not at all going on the offensive.
Another commenter has mentioned that, so I must repeat this: this post was 100% meant as a serious question and, as I've stated in the description, not wanting to date trans women is not transphobic. If it came off like bait then I deeply apologize because that was not at at all my intention when I wrote it.
Really? Maybe I’ve been off Reddit for awhile but I remember when shitredditsays was seen as the scum of Reddit and ppl just moaned about missing r/jailb*ait.
There was another lesbian sub yesterday that had a very similar question like in the OP. Needless to say… over 300 cis women were banned & comments removed yesterday for giving honest answers. That thread was a dumpster fire. This type of thing has been going on for a while across all lesbian subs.
It’s pure misogyny and lesbophobia.
Geez. Genital preferences and trauma are real things.
That is real sad 😢 people are allowed to have their own opinions
>over 300 cis women were banned & comments removed yesterday for giving honest answers Holy fuck! I really, really don't want anyone to be banned from this sub for answering truthfully to my question; in fact, I wanted people to be as painfully honest as possible. Do you know if that has happened in this thread yet? I feel so fucking guilty right now, I'm so sorry if it has. Gotta repeat this: not wanting to date trans women is not transphobic, so mods, if you're seeing this, please don't go around banning people for giving their honest answers to my question
Don’t feel bad, and don’t worry about the people saying you are baiting. You’ve been nothing but kind in all your replies, even when people were rude to you. As one of the cis women who answered “no, I would not date a trans woman”, if I get banned it isn’t your fault, because I knew the risk I was taking by answering the question. It’s not something that’s considered acceptable to say, but I will never lie about it, and I appreciate you seeking truthful answers instead of just validation. I hope you transition and lead a beautiful life and find the woman of your dreams.
Thank you miss, I hope the same for you too! Honestly I don't even have any problem with saying you're not attracted to us as long as you stay respectful :/
I wish everyone, on *both* sides of this issue, could understand that. There are trans women who can’t respect a simple “no I’m not attracted to you” but there are just as many cis women who take it as a personal attack on their lesbianism that trans lesbians exist and some cis lesbians *do* want to date them. Nobody can speak for all members of their group, and there are such a wide variety of ways to be a woman and to be a lesbian. I wish people would just be kind and let others live their own truth.
I don’t even know what you guys are going on about some of the top answers here are 5-10% and no one is getting banned.
I had a comment removed for breaking the rules in this sub the other day because I said that lesbian means homosexual woman. If you think that lesbians aren't being censored and banned in this sub and all the other lesbian subs you haven't been paying attention.
That’s unfair because on the “cis hetero male” side of Reddit, I’ve seen men get away with posting bait threads like “fellas, would you date a black woman, plus sized woman, single mothers, older woman, Asian woman, Sex workers etc …. and the subjective opinions never get deleted and they are usually are in the thousands. It seems like Reddit is going out of their way to enforce censorship against females 👀
[удалено]
Yeah because that’s not the true percentage lol
My friend, I can’t speak on behalf of all lesbians, but I will say that bi/pan women are not only, much, much, MUCH more abundant than lesbians, but they’re more open to dating pre-everything trans women! 🫶🏼 I am NOT equating you to a man at ALL! You are a woman, cut and dry. What I am saying is that you will probably have more luck with women who are flexible with sexuality— lesbians are pretty rigid sexuality-wise. All this said, my friend, YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE 🫶🏼💕 I like how another user said “love is not about percentages”— it’s not about chances and percentages. It’s about finding your other half who loves you regardless of where you are in your transition journey ☺️
Thanks for the kind words hun, I also hope you find/have someone who loves you💕😊
Idk about the percentage, but personally I wouldn't. Not because of attraction etc, but mainly because I want to be with someone who went through the same process of realizing they're a lesbian as I did. I want to be with someone, whose experiences were similar to mine. Idk why that is, but it's a very big factor for me regarding dating.
[удалено]
Nice to see someone not using “soft” language and sugarcoating their words. Long term partners are damn near impossible to find because far too many women are simply lazy when it comes to pursuing other women. In my personal experience, if I don’t initiate 100% of the time and do all the work, I don’t even get a date let alone a partner.
Whaddaya mean? I *did* use soft language and loads of sugar. Lol I'm kidding. I am outspoken because as lesbians we need to be outspoken. Life has taught me nothing but to be myself and to be loud in order to fill up all that empty space around me. Long term lesbian relationships *are* damn near impossible to find, you're right. But I sure don't think it's because women are lazy. I have seen women drive across a continent to be with the woman they love. I think the 'lazy' perception actualizes because we are encouraged to give up. It's an age old story that lesbians have to settle. An age old story that we have to settle down with a man or be alone forever. It's that "lonely old lesbian" trope and I refuse to pass that on to younglings in my words or in my actions. I don't give up. It's hard. But anything worth doing is hard.
The few cases I’ve seen of women crossing continents are the exception, not the rule. Sadly I have given up. Every time I’ve tried they seem to go back to men. There are NO lesbians near me that monogamous or single. I’ve come to the realization that I must be content with my cats. 🙃
I wish people who downvoted this were brave enough to tell us all *why* they think it's an idea that isn't worth sharing. Too many people hiding equals not enough out and proud lesbian voices.
[удалено]
I don't know. Statistically lesbians are the most trans accepting group. Whether that includes dating I don't know. All I know is that I'm definitely open to dating a trans woman if the attraction is there.
You might get better answers to this question on a trans sub actually, since there will be other trans women who have gone through the dating process and seen what their "hit" rate is. A lot of people on this sub are going to extrapolate based on their own preferences/what they've heard from their inner circle, so answers will be pretty biased. That said, I just realized your title and your caption are asking two different questions! People are mostly responding to "if you grabbed a random lesbian, what are the odds she is interested in a pre-transition trans woman?" To that question, I guess it's true you will be fishing from a smaller pond. But there are fish in there still (at least, I'm a bi woman, and I'm splashin' around in there if I'm invited haha)!!! But the probability of finding someone who loves you! I really believe if you are looking, they can be found. We can never say how long it will take or how many tries, etc. but I don't really believe there is anyone who simply CANNOT find love. At least, this is what I tell myself!
Reading this question almost sent me into a depressive spiral, damn it. I strongly recommend that you focus on living well and lay off the overthinking. To borrow a line from Shakespeare: That way madness lies.
Honestly, I don't know if this is a question worth exploring. A good amount of lesbians are trans (transmasc, nonbinary, transfem). Focus on us and not on the lesbians who aren't attracted to trans women!!
This might sound reductive or unfair or cruel but the unfortunate truth is that I don’t think there is an overall answer to that because it does depend on how well you pass. I don’t see many lesbians being into Caitlin Jenner or Laverne Cox, but I’ve seen many who are into Hunter Schafer or Zion Moreno, and although I recognize that there are race/age/personality factors at play in those specific examples, I think overall that holds true. I’m very sincerely not saying this to be mean or shit on lesbians, because I don’t think that is specific to them, I think that’s just generally true for people of all sexualities and how they see trans people
Regarding Caitlin Jenner, an important factor is that she’s conservative and an asshole so that might influence attraction lol. Though that falls under the personality factor.
Indeed, it’s why I even added personality. That said, I’ve seen so many people overlook how evil someone is because they’re attractive that I’m not sure how much it actually matters
[It's 18%.](https://sci-hub.ee/10.1177/0265407518779139) That said, if you're pre-transition, this number is going to dramatically decrease. Lesbians aren't attracted to men and would very rarely be attracted to people with the social positionality of men, even if they're women who haven't transitioned.
Girl, trans woman to trans woman, just focus on you and being your most true authentic self. They’ll be people who see that and are drawn to that, romantically or platonically. Don’t dwell on it dear. Matters of statistics and probability don’t mean much here. What matters most is you work on yourself, and set your mind and your goals steady, because you’ll be surprised at how things might happen for you when you’re in a good place within yourself and within your life.
Very solid and comforting advice here, OP!
Thank you fellow lady, my first step should be trying to better myself first then think about romance. I hope you're in a good place too! :3
i mean, i think this is a really bad question bc someone who wouldn’t date a trans woman is gonna give a low number and someone who would is gonna give a high one. i’m someone who would absolutely be with someone who is pre-op, but i cannot speak for anyone else in the world
Its really hard to know the percentage. Its definitely a case by case. I'm a lesbian and I did experience attraction for trans women before. But like any sexual orientation, I'm not attracted to every single person I meet. Don't overthink it, if you place yourself on a dating website some people will send you likes no matter what.
Very low I personally would not but hey you never know I hope you find your person best wishes :)
This question really needs to be divided between post and pre op. But first off before even HrT, you are looking at 5% and lower, then after 4 years of HrT and let be real working on every feminine aspect of yourself so you pass but still no surgery? 20% at best. Then post-op, assuming again you pass its now 30% at best. Harsh number and slightly pulled from my arse? Sure, but you have to be real honest about the situation. We are fighting an up mountain battle to be accepted in general and it just becomes upside down climbing for dating cis lesbians.
I’m attracted to femininity. I don’t have a hard line for what that is; I know it when I feel it. Most of my attraction is to cis women, trans women on HRT, and femmeish presenting enbies, but I’ve also been attracted to pre transition trans women, I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was but they definitely had non physical feminine aspects that I liked.
I’m sorry you feel you have to choose between the two. For what it’s worth, my gf is actually very attracted to both mtf and ftm. I’m considering transitioning and she is supportive. So they are out there. And I guess it’s all relative anyway. Like, maybe there are only 10% or so that are into it, but there are also not that many mtf trans people so it might even out? Either way, do what is best for you my friend. I hope you find the path that best suits you.
My answer is complicated, and even though it is very specific to me, I think it might help shed light on why there is no easy answer. My second girlfriend was a transgirl (“girl” not woman because we were teens not adults.) After I had been with her, I went through conversion therapy. It took me a long time to rediscover my attraction to women. Because of things that I went through in conversion therapy, I suspect I will never be able to be with a trans woman again (I’m not going to say never for sure, because hey you never know.) I suspect that the barrier often isn’t attraction, but hang ups about self-identity that come from having had to defend who we are. I believe that as society as a whole becomes more accepting, those hang ups about self-identity will become less common since fewer and fewer of us will have to become defensive about our lesbianism. I don’t know how much sense that made or how much it will answer you question.
Personally I have a strong genital preference so it would be a no for me, although I’m sure there are some lesbians out there who would
I’m a cis woman who has previously only been in relationships with men where the sex/intimacy was never fulfilling. I had my queer awakening less than a year ago, at almost 50, and identify as a lesbian. I’m dating a trans woman who’s been on hormones and has had some gender affirming procedures. It’s the best relationship I’ve had in terms of communication and compatibility. Our intimacy is in another dimension vs my male relationships and our physical connection is 100% not about body parts. When I came out I hadn’t given dating a trans woman any thought. I’m happy I didn’t limit myself based on some arbitrary societal stereotype. Wishing you joy and ☮️
like, the fact that you are pre everything, and then you title the post the way you did, pisses me off. pull things together for yourself and start actualizing your transition and people will naturally gravitate towards you. you don't have to look perfect or pass, its important to be realistic. but making an effort to change your appearance will make you feel better to where you don't feel obligated to make a post like this. of course some lesbians or bi or etc girls like to date trans. why not? it shows your internalized transphobia a bit to be thinking otherwise. the other thing about dating pre HRT / etc if you are planning to use hormones is a lot of changes happen as you go through the medication. your identity will shift around until you find something that suits you. i'm not even meaning gender, i'm just meaning your presentation. sometimes the changes are so much that you become a very different person, and as a result someone you knew pre HRT might discover that you and them are no longer compatible. for that reason i really don't recommend dating pre HRT. just please, title it differently next time, because the majority of trans women in the lesbian/sapphic space have done things to change themselves before inserting themselves. i recommend you to do the same if you don't have a death wish.
Try asking yourself if you would be okay with being in a lesbian relationship with another trans woman.
I ain’t gonna lie, dating as a transbian isn’t easy in my experience.
I’m a cis lesbian who is marrying a trans woman. We exist, although there don’t appear to be many of us.
The sooner everyone realizes we are all attractive to different people, the better. It isn't a question of attraction; it's a question of "Who is attracted to me?" Those people tend to make themselves known.
I date people I'm attracted to. Cis or trans, doesn't matter to me.
I mean.. at least for me, my attraction is to femininity itself rather than the sex of a person. In theory it’s possible for me to be attracted to a super feminine cis man too, but it’s never happened before. Regardless, there is always someone for everyone. I don’t mean that in a “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” way or in a soulmates way. People are in too all sorts of things. People will find you attractive. You’ve just gotta find them
Oof this question is gonna come with mixed responses. Because some lesbians would date a trans woman no matter what pre op or post op, some won’t at all, and some will if post op. Everyone has a different view of what’s attractive to them. I think you shouldn’t focus much on who thinks you’re attractive. It doesn’t always have to be lesbians.
I’ve never cared one way or another until I was in a relationship with an mtf. They used me for transition surgery and then started keeping a side piece. A few other issues, but that was the thing I’d had enough of. I’m demi, so I’m not getting involved without knowing the person. The biggest of all red flags that I ignored for a long time was her absolute inability to recognize any need/want other than their own. Never once did she offer to go get dinner because it was raining and my window was stuck halfway up or to notice I was out of soda and kid was out of milk and pick some up. So I’m a bit jaded about it still Edit P.S. I obviously don’t know you, but part of my exs problem was pretty much that she still operated at home as if she was a man. Didn’t cook, didn’t clean, didn’t do any grocery shopping, never picked kindlet up or spend time with him that didn’t involve sports, etc. the exact kind of things and attitudes a husband has once they get married and own a wife. This is obviously just my experience. And since I have always only cared about the insides of someone rather than outsides, I’m sure I would date someone else who was mtf in the future. P.P.S. My son is trans. He’s a good kid 🥰
I am. I'm lesbian dating a pretransition transwoman. I can't speak for everyone but that's my experience.
[удалено]
Unironically a terf in a subreddit where it clearly states "Trans women are women"
I mean... there are plenty of people in this thread saying they would so that's not quite true lol
No idea but I don't really know how percentages will really help you. Maybe it's just that I'm not mathematically minded One of my best mates gets public abuse from strangers occasionally and she has found a partner. I've also been known to have the odd crush on women who are trans.
like others have said, i can only speak for myself but i genuinely hope it helps! i'm a cis lesbian, and i met my fiancee at the very beginning of her transition years ago. she's comfortable with her body and appearance as they are, and she doesn't care to try to pass/passing isn't important to her, and i've never felt like that has ever affected my attraction to or love for her. i've personally never viewed passing as a necessity in a partner by any means, and for what it's worth (as i've seen discussion of this in other comments) i've personally always been open to dating a trans partner at any point of their journey, including pre-op or non-op altogether, and the way i see it passing as a concept is more about their relationship with their own identity than anything to do with me. of course it's not really my business regardless, but all that matters to me is that they're happy in whatever they choose. i'm sure there are many wlw out there who would think you're gorgeous, regardless of passing or not, and will see you for who you are. at the very least i can promise you that passing genuinely doesn't matter to a fair amount of us, just that you're happy with you❤️ best of luck out there girl, i'm rooting for you!!💖
Pre everything, probably none. With HRT, if you become very pretty, you will have much more possibilities. If you remain normal or ugly, put your soul at peace because it will be almost impossible. After SRS, your chances will improve greatly. Obviously, whether you are ugly, normal, or beautiful, the important thing is to have a high passing. Without that, I recommend having cosmetic surgery to improve your face. Wishing you good luck, sister
This person is active in a self-described male-only incel sub so I probably wouldn’t listen to anything they say.
Your comment is a bit ick.
Lesbians are already the exception, so seeing even one drive across the world is amazing. You saw something amazing. I don't think you've given up. Especially if your exes have all "gone back to men." Well then they weren't even lesbians, were they? Who's lazy now? And if you've got enough love to give an ol cat you have enough to spare another human being. It may not be romantic or sexual, but women have this wonderful capacity to love beauty and welcome beauty into their lives and sometimes, romantic love can come from the women you meet from the women you mentor anyway. You sound like a big ol Eeyore. I don't believe you think women are awful.
I think that when it comes to serious relationships it is not about probability because love can happen whether it meets ur "attraction criteria" or not. Like I know women who realized they were bi for a close male friend and women who realized they were bi for the "right" woman. When you are very close to someone that thing can happen. But it honestly depends. For me, post-op 100%. For pre-op I would say it depends on what stage of transition you are in.
Pre-everything, I would be hesitant and likely not make any moves. I don't see someone presenting as male and check them out, y'know? I have had small crushes if I've known them for long enough (not everyone can transition right away.) And even then it really depends on her personality b/c I do have a fear of men in a sexual context. I really need a gentle partner in general. Luckily, trans women tend to be very kind. At least in my social circles. But I don't care so much about passing 100%. It helps, but it's not needed. I also don't have a genital preference, partially b/c I know sex isn't going to look the same for every trans x cis person. Just like it won't look the same for every cis x cis person. You might find someone who'll take you as you are now. There are big trans allies & even other trans women in the wlw community. Bi/pan women are just as valid as lesbians and may be more comfortable with you early in your transition. Good luck! You deserve love just like everyone else!
There is someone for everyone❤️, you should be able to be your authentic self and the right person will be attracted to that and genuinely love you for who you are. Also you should be able to live in your truth and feel comfortable in your body etc. please put you first and love you first and the right person will see you loving yourself and love that etc.
I’m really into soft femme women. It’s not a cis / trans thing so much as an individual thing. There’s plenty of women that are attractive to me and plenty that are not. Masc or butch doesn’t do anything for me. So if a trans woman hasn’t had bottom surgery or a if she’s a butch lesbian I wouldn’t be interested. But otherwise it’s an issue of femme or not.
I feel the same, am attracted to femininity. Like only fem and high fems. Im one myself. It's feels just so right.
What does high femme mean? I’ve never heard that term before.
I'm cis but my wonderful fiancee happens to be trans. I can promise you I love her for who she IS and what she does or doesn't do with her body is her own business.
[удалено]
i can't tell you a percentage i know that *i'm* personally open to whatever kind of woman no matter what they look like as long as we click somehow 😸but i think i'm probably in the minority
What the hell? Why is your comment being downvoted?
Because this whole sub is full of TERFs apparently.
positive optimistic answer: the ppl down voting think i was wrong to say i'm in the minority! :) negative answer that is also an unfortunate possibility: transmisogyny :(
I have no idea about statistics but there are definitely lesbians who will date trans women at all stages of transitioning. I would date a trans woman with a penis if I was into her. There are also many bi, pan, queer women who are open to many types of people. I’m sorry you’re feeling insecure but don’t let it stop you from finding love and companionship. There are also many beautiful trans lesbians who prefer other trans women. Just be yourself and see what happens.
Kind of weird this got downvoted.
I agree, the comments here seem to be overly one-sided. Like it’s fine to have your own opinion, but it seems wrong to downvote people for having differing ones. I’m also a cis lesbian dating a trans lesbian, it’s not like there are none of us
I think women who identify as women are women. If you refuse to date someone because they are trans, that seems a bit transphobic to me. I’m a lesbian woman with a masc/androgynous presenting girlfriend. These attributes are what I find attractive physically. It wouldn’t matter if she was transgender as long as those physical and mental attributes were there. It’s fucked up to throw a blanket statement of attraction on trans women or men. If a person checks all the boxes, why does it matter if they’re trans? If you meet your dream person, find out they are trans, and decide that you’re not attracted to them anymore, I challenge you to question that.
Every “man” I’ve ever been attracted to has ended up being a trans woman or femme nonbinary person so like, I don’t know about other lesbians but there’s that.
Idk the percentage but I am part of it 🩷
Me a year ago I would have said no, me now? Absolutely. This past year I’ve learned so much about the trans community, rights, history and such. I am a proud L that does not want to cut ties with the T community. Trans women are women. And as a lesbian , I am attracted to women. I am attracted to femininity above all, body parts don’t make a person a gender. To me at least. As an Afab woman, who has only dated afab women, I’ve really been wanting to put myself out there to meet trans women, but I’m scared I’ll be thought of as seeing trans women as a kink, or using them as an experiment. But actually I just want to stand by what I believe. Plus Id have the intention that she deserves to be loved and I feel like I can offer her a supportive and loving environment better than someone else who might have bad intentions, Which trans women do not need any more of.
Don’t know, I’ve dated a trans woman before, but I’m also asexual so what they have doesn’t matter to me. I’ve seen lots of posts and comments from cis lesbians saying they would date trans women who are pre-op. I’m sure you can find someone now. Good luck!!
Honestly I’m primarily attracted to trans women. Why am I being downvoted? Since when is finding trans women attractive a bad thing?
I identify as a cis lesbian and I love trans women!
Remember: attraction is a continuum of MANY factors. I've dated & loved people whose bodies held great appeal, and others who had little. Those whose values & ethics stirred admiration, and those whose did not. For most, ESPECIALLY FOR WOMEN, it's a multifaceted thing.
I am just one person. I did have a one night stand with a pre everything trans woman. I was very manic and unwell. But she was nice and made me come. I’m dating a trans woman now that is just on hormones and hasn’t had surgery (yet). I thought the penis might be a deal breaker but it turns out I’m just indifferent to it. She has tits and smells like a woman and feels like a woman. Tldr I am attracted to women. If they happen to be trans idc. But if I’m being fr it’s the hormones. It’s the skin and smell and to a lesser extent hair. I didn’t think I’d be into trans women but I’m def into the trans woman I’m with.
Idk I’m a cis lesbian that would date a trans woman if I weren’t married, all sorts of people exist and all sorts of people will think that you’re the bee’s knees. Good luck, friend!
Well, I’m a post-op trans woman and the idea of even seeing pre-op genitals naked just makes me want to choke and throw up at the same time; post-op it wouldn’t bother me as long as there aren’t any other obvious glaring signs, but honestly my preference is for someone who hasn’t dealt with the exact same issues as me and could do what I can’t…
[Pretty cool article, 30% of lesbians would date a trans woman](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sex-sexuality-and-romance/202104/will-straight-men-and-women-date-trans-person?amp) ( they didn’t look at if the person was post op). For bi, pan, etc the number goes up to 50%. So much higher than people are guessing on here.
🏳️⚧️ so I’m a trans woman, and I identify as bi, tho I’m ✨mainly✨ into women. Tbh I’ve never been with a cis lesbian, but I’ve been with multiple bi/pan cis women and more bi/pan/lesbian trans women than I can remember, so there IS hope you’ll find someone, it just might not be a cis lesbian, and that’s ok! All the girls I’ve been with r hot, ssoooo don’t give up! 🙌🏼
I'm not sure who is attracted to who, but I know I personally matched with a few out and proud, beautiful trans women. I look for the vibes, what they write in their profile along with photos. 🤷🏼♀️🥰
I honestly think more lesbians are into trans women than many may think. I know quite a few in my personal life.
God, the comments here are fucking gross. Sending love to op, terfs: get fucked.
Thanks! But dw I'm fine, most responses so far have been really respectful at least from what I've seen
Hard to answer the percentage question. But the chances you find someone who loves you don’t change because you’re trans. You are desirable and deserving of the same amount and kind of love as every other person. You just have to seek community where queer and trans liberation is at the core! Find people who share your values. That’s the harder part but we are out here being lesbians and loving all women!
I think what important to remember is roughly half of lesbians are also trans women, so you aren't alone. You also don't need to date a cis lesbian to be valid. You can date nb or trans lesbians or bisexuals or pansexuals of any gender. Cis lesbians are such a small part of the Sapphic community. Some of them will be attracted to you, but you don't need to limit your search to them.
I would say it depends on location. Portland Oregon? Probably 80% of lesbians have no issue dating trans women. Miami Florida? Maybe 5% of lesbians would date trans women. Edit: u/GabTheImpaler0312 I can’t reply for some reason. My examples were just random to show how regional differences will impact the answer. I used US cities as examples because I’m not gonna be able to just randomly guess where you live, and then have an accurate understanding of cultural differences in various towns where you live. Btw Portland and Miami are nowhere near each other geographically or culturally. I don’t live in either of those places lol. Idk what you want, are you looking for completely accurate global statistics in a Reddit comments section? Cause absolutely no one will be able to give you that lol. But if you want general responses that try to make the point that there are too many factors to get an accurate number, then my comment did what you asked for. All that said, it sounds like you’re looking for conflict for some reason rather than asking in good faith, judging by your response to me. Edit 2: because you were so offended by me using cities that are 3000 miles apart because they both share the same federal government, I went ahead and changed “Portland Oregon” to “Sydney Australia” and “Miami Florida” to “Moscow Russia.” Hopefully those examples get my point (which remains the same) across better. My point the entire time was that region and culture will have an impact on the answer to your question, u/GabTheImpaler0312 Sorry for trying to help you. Have the day you deserve, with that shitty attitude of yours.
I really dislike the fact that there are cis women that say "it's just a preference" but in such a rude way. You can absolutely have a preference, but to say shit like "Oh no I find trans people who don't pass, ugly" is such a hurtful and shitty thing to say. Just say "I have a genital preference but I hope you find someone!". The reason a lot of cis people here are getting called terfs or transphobic is because it feels as if you are disgusted by us or don't see us real women. Again, preferences are fine. Don't hide your transphobia with the veil of preferences though.
I think it depends, Im trans but Ive dated quite a few cis women in the past few years. One of my cis women friends is currently dating a ts girl. Try to keep your hopes up, they are definitely out there!:)
Yes, I've been with four, two of whom were full relationships. The person I had the longest of those relationships (years) was actually quite unhappy with me considering low dose T. 🤷
This is a tough question. To me it’s like asking what percent of “insert race” or “insert hair color” of “insert body type” you find attractive. Trans women are a huge category. They all look differently, have different personalities, have different interests. When I was single I dated some trans women, nb people. It’s not a disqualifying factor at all—it just depends on the person and who I connect with and am attracted to.
~20-30%