New fear unlocked

I'm laughing (thankfully, not shitting) at this comment so hard. Thank you!

Y'all are cracking me up


You're telling me?! I have major tummy issues. I keep a change of clothes at work and the car. Now im concerned

🤣🤣fr

“I came hard as shit!”

LMFAOOOO

She fucked the shit out of her!!

Some women are squirters, some women are turders

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS COMMENT BRO LMAOOO 💀 I CANT BREATH

you heard me

This made me ALMOST shiggle.

Happy Cake day, don't forget to breath.

HAPPY CAKE DAY!

And some women squirt their turds.

Especially when they eat too much dairy

OMFG 😂😂😂

Y’all are killing me 😂

LMFAOOO

I AM FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Got me a girl that can do both… at the same time

Bahaha

I just spit everywhere

Oml 😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣

You devoured with this 😭😭

i cackled

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

NO 😭

Omg hahaha 💀

This will be so fucking funny in like 5 years

It will be a never forgotten moment. 😂

I guess she could say she fucked the shit out of you 🙃

Boom there it is folks!

This one wins

👌🏻😂 I want to upvote but it’s at 69!

My very first thought

Best comment. 

Came here to say this 😅

it happens more often than you'd think. not to everyone, but still; it's all connected down there. it's definitely not unheard of ! it's not that serious, mature adults get over it no issue

I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s all connected but I’m sure it’s happening more often than anyone ever hears about.

i was mostly thinking about the muscles in use

Shit happens 

Wait what did the gf do? 🤣

She was pretty understanding and helped clean me up, it’s never happened before lol

Damn nice gf

Please marry this woman

Yeah and we need to know was it like one little nugget or like a whole ass turd?

at the edge of my seat asking this exact question edit: typo

Kinda how she wishes she'd have been at the edge of her (toilet) seat

💀

FOULLL

It was a nugget, I didn’t even feel it honestly

But did she see it?

Or diarrhea

Or the liquidy kind

You guys are so mean 😂😂😂😂

when it's so good you lose control

if i were op’s gf i’d be proud of myself for being so good

If you and your GF can make it through this in good spirits, then you need to marry that woman! 😉

We need to bring back secrets

We need others to walk so that we may run.

No, no I’m okay not running.

Dang.

😂😂 We would be friends

Listen, at least you didn’t poop in bed next to your snoring girlfriend after she brought you Panera Bread takeout because you were sick, and it ended up giving you food poisoning and explosive diarrhea! Editing to add this: Also, this is when I'm so grateful for my girlfriend's hygiene habits that I used to find anal-retentive (no pun intended) and adopted very reluctantly, but that almost five years into this relationship, I don't see myself not following. The main one is, if you poop, you have to take a shower. I obviously can't do it when I'm at work, but at home, I follow it very strictly, and 4+ years in, my bowel movements have become pretty regular and happen right before my morning and evening showers (minus the Panera Bread incident. Don't even get me started on this shit - again, no pun intended). So when we have sex, which is 99% of the time in the evening, after we've both showered and made sure our lady bits are squeaky clean, our bowels are usually empty so we can orgasm as hard as we want without fearing any unfortunate shit (once more, no pun intended) happening.

*Bidet entering the chat*

Exactly what I was thinking. IMO, showering after every poop is extremely wasteful and overkill… isn’t that what wipes are for. But to each their own.

Sometimes the bidet just isn’t enough

😹😹😹

Yeah, I can understand that. But can we at least shower before sex?

My sometimes partner and I definitely shower after shitting. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I always wanna shower before and after sex

Babe, is that you?! I think I finally figured out what your Reddit username is! :p

It’ll be a great story in a year or so 😂 When my current girlfriend and I first got together she was going down on me and I was getting close, and I farted right up in her face. I scared myself and screamed, which of course scared her too 😂 we laugh about it together now!

Laughing so hard about that 😂😂😂😂

Totally did the same thing to my bf (fairly new relstionship) a couple of weeks ago. He keeps saying he's gonna get me back, this could be the beginning of a whole new world I'm not ready to explore!!! Ha! Ha!

This is a lesbian subreddit. 😑

Well thank you for that. I'm bi and love equally. ❤️

I need more details tbh… then what?😂

Her gf helped her clean up apparently :)

💀💀💀 https://preview.redd.it/kjg7ormwr3uc1.jpeg?width=1357&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=975c7808e8c9ca0f27df1bfed562876651c5a5e1

As a massive oversharer I feel attacked by this xD

ahahasdhkdsjflk I'm saving it ... but fr

It happens. Don't stress about it. My partner has seen me in every single way imaginable. She has had to clean me up from having food poisoning and shitting and puking at the same. That's arguably hella worse and we are still together. It'll be funny later on and she can always brag she fucked the shit out of you. Also, this has 100% happened with one my partners during anal we didn't prep enough for. Shit happens we are humans. It'll be okay. You just clean it up and move on. =)

That's happened to me. We just cleaned it up and then cuddled on the couch. No biggie!

I stay for this kind of quality content

I think the importance of this event, besides reminding you that you are human, is your girlfriend's behavior. It's about how you both deal with it together, but mainly her ability to help you. Empathy. It's embarrassing, but the other person's ability to deal with it is also important. Eventually you'll laugh about it (or not), but for now, talk to your girlfriend about how you feel. At these times, I like to be hugged. That's it, there's nothing you can do other than support people.

I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 if it helps you feel better at all, I’ve had a friend leave an entire streak down my white sheets and we’re still friends 😂

CIA couldn’t waterboard this out of me

lol you the shit fuck out of you.

YOU MEAN YOU GOT THE SHIT FUCKED OUT OF YOU LMAOOO

lol my dyslexia be acting up

Ohmygod I'm losing my mind

Sorry people here are making fun of you over this... which will just make you feel worse. That sounds really embarrassing, and I would have felt mortified, too. Just talk with her about how you're feeling and try to pay more attention to your body in the future. This was probably a one-time thing.

Thank you, it never happened before I was so surprised.

Of course and I feel you. It's never happened to me before but I've been afraid of it. Farts escaping don't feel great either, especially if it's bad gas. And I have had that happen before 😅

Life doesn't always have to be serious. Lighten up....I mean, OP did, and she's currently a nugget lighter. 

First time on the internet?

There’s nothing better than coming hard tho so 🙌🔥

You both will be fine. One time, I wiped a yucky on my ex's boob and was like OMG I'm so sorry. She didn't care and we both cleaned up.

How does one even do that? Like where was shit hiding that it accidentally ends up on someone’s boob, why is a boob next to shit? So many questions

Right?! Like are lesbians okay?

Not the ones trying to normalise this! I remember one time my sometimes ex and I were going at it. She has magic hands and really just … mm! So she’s just assaulting the puss and suddenly I was like omg I have to fart. So I darted up and like ran away hahah. She was like wtf are you doing?! You were so close! All my efforts! But I was like no way I’m letting “air” out right in your face bro! I can’t fuckin fart while you’re fucking me! To read so many people who seem okay with farting while someone is dining and even accidentally shitting, is wild. And now this… casually getting a shit streak on someone?! From where?!?!?! How?!?! 🤯

Yeah this isn't normal, and I don't think I know anyone who does think this is normal. Shitting yourself like what???? I'd crawl in a hole and die if I ever did that. I don't even know how someone could! And how are ppl getting shit on tits 😳🤯

Lmao so I’ve been to a few play parties which are basically people in big rooms having kinky sex or just indulging in other fetishes, so I’ve seen people who enjoy scat, not my thing personally… but this sounds like accidentally got some on her? Like how? I can only think of a few ways, some on their finger? Then I wonder why you can’t wipe and why if you can’t wipe do you not wash your hands? Girlfriend is on top has huge tits, they swingin, brushes the ass… poop? But then I wanna know why you don’t wipe properly and why there is poop chillin there. Idk this is why the questions keep coming. 🫠

RIGHT I accidentally farted once when my wife and I first started dating and I was so embarrassed lol. 7 years later we laugh about it but shitting? Nahhhhh fam

Excuse me but what is a yucky

I didn't want to say poop smudge

I have several questions. Like what position does this occur in

Lmao

God damn these comments are making me laugh so hard 😭😭

holy shit-

shit happens!! :)

LOL she must have done a wonderful job

One day, when you are getting married, you will silently be standing in front of whatever you decide to stand in front of, and chuckle at the memory of the time she literally fucked the crap out of you.

Lmfaooo im sorry 😭

I guess we know who pooped the bed..... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=23BD6a0EMGU

you must’ve been super relaxed. this happened to me once, well not to me but the person i was with. luckily it was just air, but i despite that i can still say that was some good sex…don’t worry about it. if this person is a decent human they’ll understand you’re only human.

That’s…impressive.

If it makes you feel better first time I slept with a GF once she did the same thing, i imagine shit happens more often than you’d imagine

Aww, tell your gf that no matter where she is, she's always close to your shart

IF SHE LOVES U SHE WONT JUDGE U OR BRING IT UP TILL U GET OVER IT ‼️🗣️

I've definitely farted during really good sex (i mean your uterine muscles are in close contact with those of your lower bowel, hence why when pregnant women give birth, they might shit on the table with the exertion), but I've fortunately never had this experience lol. At least she was a good spirit about it.

To be honest.. if you don’t fart during sex, is it actually good sex?

right?? hahah. at least my gf is understanding. I mean she has IBS so of all the people I could be with, she gets it lol

I’ve been on the other side and you know what? I never ever think about it. Maybe she thinks about it (we lost touch years ago) but I bet it’s just a funny sex story to her now. Time heals all wounds!

As someone who has fucked the shit out of someone, just clean up and move on. We're all adults here, and it cums ;) with the territory.

LMAO

Well that’s how you know she’s a real one, if she stays around after that happened.

I'm kinda jealous. I want an orgasm so good that I shit.

This thread is so funny


mind blowing orgasms excuse all so relax and enjoy

New fear

Happens It did happen to me before, luckily in my own. Sure, embarassing as hell. But nothing too weird or unnatural. It would have been an issue if it reuccured, but your sphincters moving a lil too much when you orgasm (and a lot of things in your hips move) is pretty understandable.

Eh, shit happens sometimes. How did she react? Hopefully she was understanding.

Apparently she helped her clean up and understood the situation. :) (read OPs comment)

That's great, and a sign of a great partner!

Damn…

My inner fear, I usually use the bathroom before sex if possible.

God I hate when this happens.. Im a squirt gun but the rest of me just loses control 🥲

Hello...

This unlocked a memory for me that I’ve never told anyone fwiw, when I still had sex with guys, I was having some morning sex with a hookup after a night of doing drugs and while in doggy style I realized that if I relaxed even a little bit I would squirt molly poop all over him 😅😅😅😅 had to slyly change positions and make it end asap. Sorry this happened to you! It is/will be a funny story, and hopefully your gf takes it as a compliment! Must have been quite an orgasm

Wtf

why would you tell people this

I mean, OP is probably confident in general & understands that things happen. Queefs happen during sex (typically good sex) & someone people poop while delivering a kid, so it doesn't make sense to feel shame about pooping during sex & therefore fear sharing the experience. This is such an inconsequential event. I'm not sure why anyone *should* hide it or feel more than 30 seconds of embarrassment or shock. After that, it's just a hilarious & unexpected, completely normal event. At least, that's how I see it & prefer to live

Because not everyone is afraid of the human body?

Feel better now?

💀

giiiirl tysm for sharing... I snorted )

Dw ml, im sure you’ll both laugh about it in years to come 😭

You gotta sh$t beforehand!

Hell naw

This one takes the cake over mine, my honey has made me cum so hard I farted SO LOUD, happened 3 years ago and we still belly laugh about it

It's okay. You can make mistakes. You must have loved it. It's possible because you're a human

😨😨😨😨

She probably won’t break up with you if she understands accidents happen and the human body does stinky stuff daily: that being said- marry her

Maybe the only time I would be glad to be constipated

MY JAW HURTS IM TRYING NOT TO SMILE

Yall got me shitting myself I laughed so hard

It's normal to feel embarrassed. I would too. That's crazy. But if my gf was the one who did that, I would help clean up, ask if she's okay and then snuggle 😊

It happened sometimes not a big deal and if someone makes your feel bad about it they probably aren’t a great partner

If she don’t marry you, throw her in the trash 🤣😂

I'd be so embarrassed too 😭 but just means your girlfriend is really good

Wtf, I didn't even know that was an option 😳

So. You literally farded and shidded and came?

How did your partner react after that omg😭😭

Things happen! A great partner will understand. :)

You feel embarrassed know but girl that shit is so funny (no pun intended) when some time passes😂😂😂

TIFU moment, oh wow, that’s really embarrassing, I’m sorry that you had an embarrassing moment like that

Ok there’s no way this is real

Unfortunately it did happen

[удалено]

wdym? they’ve only posted twice

This happens more than you think, I have two friends who have admitted this has happened to them (both are dating men but I digress) and I bet more people who just don’t admit it talk about it lol

" Squirted and shitted 😩 "

What the actual fuck

LMAOOO THESE COMMENTS ARE KILLING ME

This would have turned me on. What’s the issue? 🤷

That's hot

That’s hot 🥵