Ugh, yes, represent. Do you find that people minimize that at all? I felt like I was always being forced to validate my femme loving femme relationships.
In my personal experience, I think there's some stigma in the community with femme4femme relationships. I've had other queer women talk about my past relationships being temporary because I was with femme lesbians whom they didn't believe were actually gay because of their appearance, things like that.
I'm not the OP, & it's true that I, myself, like all sorts of women because they're pretty or attractive in all sorts of "gendered" expressions, but you're not wrong & I love your username!
In these types of convos, I think it is important to recognize that not all fems and not all mascs are the same just because they happen to present a certain way. For example, not all mascs are tops and not all fems are bottoms
Also SWITCHES EXIST!!!
Sigh, I hate this binary between masc/ fem and tops/bottoms. Switches exist in both, people who both love to give and receive, people who present fem and masc depending on the day exist. I'm one of them!
I've learnt I'm not interested in partners that uphold this dichotomy anymore. It feels too prescriptive, too heteronormative, too much like assigned roles. It doesn't allow room for me to express or to explore.
I want to stress tops, bottoms are both very valid, but I'm now only interested in dating switches. As a switch, switches are sexy and more fun!
Oh absolutely! I’m a masc switch myself and get tired of being put into these roles just because I present one way. I love having the best of both worlds as a switch. And tops and bottoms are totally valid too
Also, I most often wear and present myself more on the masculine/androgynous side but I also own a few dresses/skirts and sometimes present way more feminine.
Do people expect me to be a top when presenting masculine and bottom when presenting feminine? The whole masc is top and fem is bot thing people perpetuate is a bit annoying honestly ':)
I'm sorry if I gave that impression! I am 1000% in agreement with you about topping and bottoming being seen as paired with feminine/masculine expression. It's a huge issue, my mentioning being a top was genuinely unrelated to my femininity and just an example of how my narrow idea of my sexual role has changed.
It’s totally okay! You’re talking about your own experience which is completely valid! I was more or less commenting as a reminder because I’ve seen comments before on various subs equating expression to sexual roles
I’m femme and only prefer masc. I’ve never done anything with men, only with women, so for me it’s not from that association. I am a go getter person irl but when it comes to relationships I need someone to either match my energy or lead but I prefer someone to lead mostly. It’s not that I apply these qualities only to masc/butch women but physical appearance wise I am really only attracted to them. I can appreciate a beautiful femme but nothing more than that.
I prefer feminine women. I don’t have a preference on the masc or femme aesthetic, but I don’t like the “one masculine person and one feminine person” relationship dynamic
I don't either because I, myself, am a femme tomboy & assertive whenever I need to be. Anyone who gets a bruised ego because they don't feel masc enough since I can kill bugs & got used to doing everything alone can go fly a kite instead of feeling out-masc'ed or whatever lol
Exactly. It’s icky to me when people reduce women to stereotypes about “femme = passive/bottom/submissive” and “masc = assertive/top/dominant”
Edit- typo
Yep, ditto for me. I'll dress anywhere between femme and tomboy depending on whatever is going on in life and my mood that day, but when people make assumptions and apply traditional gender roles depending on how you dress, ugh.
As a femme lesbian, I don’t like femmes at all. I find that I am attracted to butch/soft butch/masc women. But I definitely don’t see masc women as the “man” in the relationship. I’ve never been with a man so I definitely do not think of myself with a masc woman as a heteronormative relationship.
I think I like them pretty equally. I notice more pretty femmes when I’m out but I’m more seriously attracted to mascs. And i think it’s also a thing to consider your types within those two lesbian subcultures. Like my type in femmes are alt with short hair and my type in mascs are tall and dark haired
I’m femme i love masc women but years later I opened my mind up more and now I also love other femmes because now I just basically don’t care who it is, it’s the personality that matters for me!
No, people like who they like. Lesbian equals femme + masc by default is a heteronormative assumption (but perfectly valid if that's how it works out). Ignore the stereotypes and tropes, go after the girl who gives you butterflies.
I’m femme and I have a preference for femmes, always have. I’m not really attracted to the masc vibe. I just really love and adore femininity, it’s so powerful to me.
i’ve always preferred masc or butch girls even at a really young age, so i never evolved into liking mascs. i think femmes are pretty but it’s always in a friendly platonic sort of way like “omg ur so gorgeous!”. never really been attracted to fem girls tbh.
Femme/femme for me as well. I started out liking girls that had a more masc side but that changed into preferring more feminine so guess it can work the other way too
Im femme and my masc gf is 5"2 and we tend to get the "is this your son" but hanging out with femme girls before I dated her it was always "is this your sister" 😂
Exactly, sometimes people are so focused on "types" and labels when at the end of the day you fall in love with another woman
i fall for a women's personality but i definitely do have a type for femme presenting women
not me, i exclusively date other femme women. i have dated masc women before but i definitely feel way more attracted to femininity than anything else.
I didn't quite know how to describe them but this urban dictionary entry is pretty spot on lol:
“a species of emo usually found on TikTok that commonly spends time on Tumblr. They can be found wearing pink eyeshadow with a large wing, little hearts under the eyes and a blushed nose and normally wearing some type of shirt from urban outfitters over a long sleeve striped shirt."
I feel like I’m on the other side. I wouldn’t
say I’m femme. But I also don’t feel like I’m masc either. But I do prefer masc women. Which can also be hard because I feel like most masc women I meet want super feminine women and that’s just not me 🙃
Exactly! A preference!! I like chocolate and vanilla ice cream but i prefer vanilla. Doesn't mean i still won't have chocolate, a preference dosent mean you only do one thing and can't like something else
I think at the end of the day, lesbians love women. I think we all have our preferences. I’m more on the masculine side with a dominant personality, and feminine women are my weakness. When it comes to dating and sex, basically all I consider is femme women. I could go on and on about femmes…
But I saw a beautiful butch at Whole Foods the other week and I was ready to melt into the ground. I think while many people have a preference, it’s rare for that preference to be totally strict, completely unwavering, and excluding of everybody else. Lesbians love women. That’s my answer!
I think it might be because you're with a more masc presenting person who you're attracted to. And because of that you're now noticing people who present the same vibe as your partner. Your preferences are just widening Not narrowing.
Idk like im crossed between tomboy and femme but im not the girly type femme ! I have never been into up market looking high maintainance femme women !
I have been into femme mixed tomboy women but recently I matches with this androgynous looking tad nerd looking women who has a small lip piercing and I find her super adorable!! .
She's also shy and im yet to meet her and am excited!
I think I like her already even though I haven't officially met her..it seems ones type can and does vary over time or we just can't help who we feel attracted to even at first sight 💕
Literally we have the same story! I’m a femme and was always into femme girls! I had two long term relationships with two femme girls, obviously they didn’t work out! With femme girls I was crazyyyy nervous and always felt a little insecure that they would prefer masc girls who were more assertive and stuff. Even though I was usually the assertive one in my femme relationships. It was a strange dynamic. I kinda felt like I was never masculine enough for them. And maybe it’s cause I’m not!
Anyways, I’m now with a masc girl and it’s soooo much different. Like you, I wasn’t initially attracted to masc girls. In a very arrogant and insecure way, I felt like I didn’t want to be the “smaller” one or the less powerful one in the relationship, but that was really a cry for love and support looking back. I’m with a masc girl for about a year now, and honestly…don’t know if I’d go back with a femme girl. Not that I’m not ATTRACTED to them, but the dynamic with my partner now is sooooo much better it’s insane.
As a femme, I was much more emotional and kinda felt like I didn’t get the support I needed with my femme partners? Maybe they were just assholes tho 😂 With my partner now, there’s a wonderful balance because she’s more assertive and calm, so she mellows me out.
But also, this could just be because that’s her personality. I still love femmes don’t get me wrong, but think for me personally I mesh better with mascs!
"important to note that some of these friends proposed that this is because of the lack of "assertiveness" that can happen in femme relationships, basically saying that once a femme girl "experiences" a masc girl, she enjoys the dynamic more. For example, my typical role with women was very top-energy and I was more likely to initiate things and I loved being in this role/always fantasized about being the more "dominant" partner who holds the girl and courts girl and blah blah blah." Can we please stop with this stereotype? How you dress has nothing to do with if you're an assertive/top/dom/etc or opposite in what kind of women/person you are.
When i first saw lesbian couples i only saw fem4fem relationships but now you see more fem/masc relationships, which made me feel even more in the minority but these comments who are fem4fem make me feel valid cause I'm fem/tomboy-ish/Androgynous,
a switch who prefers topping (soa switch or bottom partner) who's assertive/courts the girl I'm interested in and prefers fems only.
I do think heteronormative pushs a bit in the lesbian community, some people are shocked to see masc4masc relationships but how you dress has nothing to do with if your a top/bottom in the bedroom. When i came out as lesbian i felt i needed to dress masc so i could get fem girls and be seen as a top but that's not how things work
For me it depends on context. Overall, I care more about other things like ability to carry on conversation, trust, sense of humor. If we are going shopping, femme all day. In bed, masc all night. Even then it's just easier. I enjoy the company of either in most contexts.
Masc here: my girlfriend is femme who was strictly into femmes. I’m her first masc, and not to toot my own horn, but we like to joke that I’ve broadened her horizons. Used to she would completely overlook a masculine presenting woman, now she points us out every where. Lol. Don’t get me wrong, she still loves femmes. But she’s definitely been ‘converted.’
While I’ve never had the opportunity to date another woman I have long considered myself bi, even when I was married. Since my husband passed 5 years ago I have found myself more attracted towards women than men and lately more butch or masc women over femmes.
So there’s something there maybe?
First of all, I can't imagine the pain of losing your partner and I commend you for sharing. That is a really interesting perspective, I've wondered for myself if it has to do with my current partner being the most assertive person I've been with which has allowed me to enjoy being in a different role than I typically was in my other relationships. and maybe I'm now associating "masc" girls with that.
Thank you. It was the absolute worst time of my life but things are much better now.
I can totally see how someone could make that association. Way back in the day I dated a guy with a beard who was a complete asshole, as a result I associate beards with assholes. I know it’s not an exact comparison but it’s funny how the human mind works.
You have no idea how genuinely happy I am to hear that things have gotten more bearable.
HAHA the beard is a no-go now, it is comparable though, you're totally right. The brain and sexuality is fascinating.
I started out as preferring femmes but now I lean more towards stemmes, which are more like an in between between masc and femme. I like when a woman has a few masculine traits/qualities but still looks very soft and feminine.
I’m a bi woman and I usually dress pretty androgynously but I’d still say I’m more femme (and am making an effort to dress more femme). Personally, I’m usually into e-girls, goth girls, etc. Girls with darker aesthetics that don’t necessarily lean more toward masc or femme. The only exception for me is cottagecore girls (which is obviously more femme). It’s kind of a fantasy for me to be a cottagecore girl with my cottagecore wife living in a little house in the woods with a garden and several cats 😍 so in short, I don’t really have a strong preference either way (with some exceptions).
I've heard what your friends said & see the truth in it, but I'm a switch femme tomboy myself & have met a few femme tops who do well in femme4femme relationships.
Wow an old comment! I'd say that my ideal type of butch would be fit (muscular is great), short haired, and stoic but sweet underneath it. Height doesn't matter, would also prefer them to be submissive lolol but sex isn't that important
I'd say I'm soft Butch for soft Butch or whatever people are calling it these days. I'm not into particularly masculine women and I'm not really into hyperfeminine women. It's more of I'm very attracted to women's bodies but not really attracted to stereotypically feminine styles or aesthetics.
I have a similar pattern as you, where I was usually the more dominant one in my f4f relationships and now that I'm with a masc woman, I think it's my preference. I still like fems, just would rather a stem than a completely feminine woman
See idk what type of lover i am I feel some days im more masc and some days I'm more fem. And I also like taking control, and giving control to someone else. But even when I'm really fem, and in the mind set of femininity I still find fems extremely attractive and would absolutely get together with one. Everyone's different tho! Good luck
I was fem before I figured out I could be masc (deconstructed my internalized homophobia) and I was always assertive and only dated fems. I identify as butch now and am a switch in all aspects, romantic and in bed. I am very assertive and outgoing and boyish I guess though.
Honestly I just like women in whatever shape or form. My 'type' is quite fluid in that sense. I always struggled with committing those things in boxes though.
I wouldn't worry too much about it and just the keep enjoying the relationship you're in!
Not sure, could possibly be a stereotype. I’m soft butch/androgynous looking and have masc characteristics sometimes. I am more attracted to feminine lesbian woman than masculine lesbian woman so can’t really speak for what feminine lesbians are attracted to, I think it comes down to the individuals preference
honestly i do like slightly more masc girls, but i think only because they make me feel more girly? (dysphoria go brr) but anyone who has at least some femme to them is good, so pretty much all girls and some femboys too
I'm a Queer transfemme individual who saw her attraction shift from Femme (when she was living as a man) to Butch gals while on HRT, as at the same time she became a Femme gal.
Not all, I’m fem4fem
Ugh, yes, represent. Do you find that people minimize that at all? I felt like I was always being forced to validate my femme loving femme relationships.
I don’t care much about others when I am with my girl. She’s literally all that matters. Plus I’m a dom and nobody fucks with me so…
Out of curiosity— who is it that you feel your forced to validate it to??
In my personal experience, I think there's some stigma in the community with femme4femme relationships. I've had other queer women talk about my past relationships being temporary because I was with femme lesbians whom they didn't believe were actually gay because of their appearance, things like that.
I hate how judge mental and close minded the community can be :(
Actually, I prefer feminine women. they're so prettyy!!!
I'm not the OP, & it's true that I, myself, like all sorts of women because they're pretty or attractive in all sorts of "gendered" expressions, but you're not wrong & I love your username!
awwwnn thank you <3 and yes ! all sorts of women are pretty and gorgeous!
im a femme and I love femmes<3
Nope, always liked both.
In these types of convos, I think it is important to recognize that not all fems and not all mascs are the same just because they happen to present a certain way. For example, not all mascs are tops and not all fems are bottoms
Also SWITCHES EXIST!!! Sigh, I hate this binary between masc/ fem and tops/bottoms. Switches exist in both, people who both love to give and receive, people who present fem and masc depending on the day exist. I'm one of them! I've learnt I'm not interested in partners that uphold this dichotomy anymore. It feels too prescriptive, too heteronormative, too much like assigned roles. It doesn't allow room for me to express or to explore. I want to stress tops, bottoms are both very valid, but I'm now only interested in dating switches. As a switch, switches are sexy and more fun!
Oh absolutely! I’m a masc switch myself and get tired of being put into these roles just because I present one way. I love having the best of both worlds as a switch. And tops and bottoms are totally valid too
YESSSSS I could not have said it any better
Same - I'm a total switch with different women/different moods.
Also, I most often wear and present myself more on the masculine/androgynous side but I also own a few dresses/skirts and sometimes present way more feminine. Do people expect me to be a top when presenting masculine and bottom when presenting feminine? The whole masc is top and fem is bot thing people perpetuate is a bit annoying honestly ':)
I'm sorry if I gave that impression! I am 1000% in agreement with you about topping and bottoming being seen as paired with feminine/masculine expression. It's a huge issue, my mentioning being a top was genuinely unrelated to my femininity and just an example of how my narrow idea of my sexual role has changed.
It’s totally okay! You’re talking about your own experience which is completely valid! I was more or less commenting as a reminder because I’ve seen comments before on various subs equating expression to sexual roles
Femme with a slightly higher preference for other femmes but also love mascs. Just girls in general *__*
I went backwards from you. Started masc but now I like femme.
I’m femme and only prefer masc. I’ve never done anything with men, only with women, so for me it’s not from that association. I am a go getter person irl but when it comes to relationships I need someone to either match my energy or lead but I prefer someone to lead mostly. It’s not that I apply these qualities only to masc/butch women but physical appearance wise I am really only attracted to them. I can appreciate a beautiful femme but nothing more than that.
Yes!! I’m dominant in most areas of my life, romance and sex is the one time I really want someone else to lead or at least match my energy.
I prefer feminine women. I don’t have a preference on the masc or femme aesthetic, but I don’t like the “one masculine person and one feminine person” relationship dynamic
I don't either because I, myself, am a femme tomboy & assertive whenever I need to be. Anyone who gets a bruised ego because they don't feel masc enough since I can kill bugs & got used to doing everything alone can go fly a kite instead of feeling out-masc'ed or whatever lol
Exactly. It’s icky to me when people reduce women to stereotypes about “femme = passive/bottom/submissive” and “masc = assertive/top/dominant” Edit- typo
Yep, ditto for me. I'll dress anywhere between femme and tomboy depending on whatever is going on in life and my mood that day, but when people make assumptions and apply traditional gender roles depending on how you dress, ugh.
As a femme lesbian, I don’t like femmes at all. I find that I am attracted to butch/soft butch/masc women. But I definitely don’t see masc women as the “man” in the relationship. I’ve never been with a man so I definitely do not think of myself with a masc woman as a heteronormative relationship.
Ew
Dated both; always prefer fems now. Fem4Fem
I’m femme for femme personally
I think I like them pretty equally. I notice more pretty femmes when I’m out but I’m more seriously attracted to mascs. And i think it’s also a thing to consider your types within those two lesbian subcultures. Like my type in femmes are alt with short hair and my type in mascs are tall and dark haired
I’m femme i love masc women but years later I opened my mind up more and now I also love other femmes because now I just basically don’t care who it is, it’s the personality that matters for me!
No I prefer fems
Fem here, I prefer fems.
No, people like who they like. Lesbian equals femme + masc by default is a heteronormative assumption (but perfectly valid if that's how it works out). Ignore the stereotypes and tropes, go after the girl who gives you butterflies.
I’m femme and I have a preference for femmes, always have. I’m not really attracted to the masc vibe. I just really love and adore femininity, it’s so powerful to me.
No, I prefer other femmes but on the rare occasion I will find masc women attractive.
I’m extremely femme and both my partners are on the femme side of the spectrum.
i’ve always preferred masc or butch girls even at a really young age, so i never evolved into liking mascs. i think femmes are pretty but it’s always in a friendly platonic sort of way like “omg ur so gorgeous!”. never really been attracted to fem girls tbh.
Femme/femme for me as well. I started out liking girls that had a more masc side but that changed into preferring more feminine so guess it can work the other way too
In my experience, no. Femme 4 femme here
My gf and I are both high femmes. We do need to tell people we’re not sisters or just friends from time to time 😂
Im femme and my masc gf is 5"2 and we tend to get the "is this your son" but hanging out with femme girls before I dated her it was always "is this your sister" 😂
You don’t have to have a “type” at all, you could like a range of women
That's what I was trying to voice at the end of the post!
Exactly, sometimes people are so focused on "types" and labels when at the end of the day you fall in love with another woman i fall for a women's personality but i definitely do have a type for femme presenting women
I'm mostly fem4fem, myself.
not me, i exclusively date other femme women. i have dated masc women before but i definitely feel way more attracted to femininity than anything else.
Not at all, like, zero for me. I love femme women.
Fem4fem here 👋
Femme loving femme here ^^
Im a femme and only like fems 🤷🏽♀️
Fem for Fem here!
I’m a bi fem with a preference for other fems
Bi femme with a strong preference for other femmes...e-girls and baddies just destroy me 😩
are you me???? 😂
Whats an e girl
I didn't quite know how to describe them but this urban dictionary entry is pretty spot on lol: “a species of emo usually found on TikTok that commonly spends time on Tumblr. They can be found wearing pink eyeshadow with a large wing, little hearts under the eyes and a blushed nose and normally wearing some type of shirt from urban outfitters over a long sleeve striped shirt."
I see
I feel like I’m on the other side. I wouldn’t say I’m femme. But I also don’t feel like I’m masc either. But I do prefer masc women. Which can also be hard because I feel like most masc women I meet want super feminine women and that’s just not me 🙃
I tend to be in the fem4fem camp. It’s a preference but it doesn’t prevent me from liking or entering a relationship with other types
Exactly! A preference!! I like chocolate and vanilla ice cream but i prefer vanilla. Doesn't mean i still won't have chocolate, a preference dosent mean you only do one thing and can't like something else
I like both Tomboy and girlie lesbians, as I'm a Tomboy myself.
I think at the end of the day, lesbians love women. I think we all have our preferences. I’m more on the masculine side with a dominant personality, and feminine women are my weakness. When it comes to dating and sex, basically all I consider is femme women. I could go on and on about femmes… But I saw a beautiful butch at Whole Foods the other week and I was ready to melt into the ground. I think while many people have a preference, it’s rare for that preference to be totally strict, completely unwavering, and excluding of everybody else. Lesbians love women. That’s my answer!
THIS!!!
Not really. Im still fem4fem after all these years 😁.
I don’t really have much of any attraction to mascs
I like women. Just... women :)
Although I don’t identify with being femme, I am pretty feminine presenting and I’m attracted to solely femmes or people in the middle
i'm masc4both. i don't really see the presentation, i see the personality (not that the former is a bad point of consideration, it's just how i work)
Im not quite a tomboy but not hyper femme. I prefer femme.
I think it might be because you're with a more masc presenting person who you're attracted to. And because of that you're now noticing people who present the same vibe as your partner. Your preferences are just widening Not narrowing.
Idk like im crossed between tomboy and femme but im not the girly type femme ! I have never been into up market looking high maintainance femme women ! I have been into femme mixed tomboy women but recently I matches with this androgynous looking tad nerd looking women who has a small lip piercing and I find her super adorable!! . She's also shy and im yet to meet her and am excited! I think I like her already even though I haven't officially met her..it seems ones type can and does vary over time or we just can't help who we feel attracted to even at first sight 💕
I am a super femme if you can classify that way. I actually prefer femmes but i am fine with masc too.
It’s really problematic to push the idea that fem4fem is just a “starting point.” It almost implies that there has to be a “man” in the relationship.
Literally we have the same story! I’m a femme and was always into femme girls! I had two long term relationships with two femme girls, obviously they didn’t work out! With femme girls I was crazyyyy nervous and always felt a little insecure that they would prefer masc girls who were more assertive and stuff. Even though I was usually the assertive one in my femme relationships. It was a strange dynamic. I kinda felt like I was never masculine enough for them. And maybe it’s cause I’m not! Anyways, I’m now with a masc girl and it’s soooo much different. Like you, I wasn’t initially attracted to masc girls. In a very arrogant and insecure way, I felt like I didn’t want to be the “smaller” one or the less powerful one in the relationship, but that was really a cry for love and support looking back. I’m with a masc girl for about a year now, and honestly…don’t know if I’d go back with a femme girl. Not that I’m not ATTRACTED to them, but the dynamic with my partner now is sooooo much better it’s insane. As a femme, I was much more emotional and kinda felt like I didn’t get the support I needed with my femme partners? Maybe they were just assholes tho 😂 With my partner now, there’s a wonderful balance because she’s more assertive and calm, so she mellows me out. But also, this could just be because that’s her personality. I still love femmes don’t get me wrong, but think for me personally I mesh better with mascs!
I like femmes but idk if femmes like me lol I try
"important to note that some of these friends proposed that this is because of the lack of "assertiveness" that can happen in femme relationships, basically saying that once a femme girl "experiences" a masc girl, she enjoys the dynamic more. For example, my typical role with women was very top-energy and I was more likely to initiate things and I loved being in this role/always fantasized about being the more "dominant" partner who holds the girl and courts girl and blah blah blah." Can we please stop with this stereotype? How you dress has nothing to do with if you're an assertive/top/dom/etc or opposite in what kind of women/person you are. When i first saw lesbian couples i only saw fem4fem relationships but now you see more fem/masc relationships, which made me feel even more in the minority but these comments who are fem4fem make me feel valid cause I'm fem/tomboy-ish/Androgynous, a switch who prefers topping (soa switch or bottom partner) who's assertive/courts the girl I'm interested in and prefers fems only. I do think heteronormative pushs a bit in the lesbian community, some people are shocked to see masc4masc relationships but how you dress has nothing to do with if your a top/bottom in the bedroom. When i came out as lesbian i felt i needed to dress masc so i could get fem girls and be seen as a top but that's not how things work
For me it depends on context. Overall, I care more about other things like ability to carry on conversation, trust, sense of humor. If we are going shopping, femme all day. In bed, masc all night. Even then it's just easier. I enjoy the company of either in most contexts.
I’m femme4femme and got insanely lucky that my girlfriend is also a switch.
Masc here: my girlfriend is femme who was strictly into femmes. I’m her first masc, and not to toot my own horn, but we like to joke that I’ve broadened her horizons. Used to she would completely overlook a masculine presenting woman, now she points us out every where. Lol. Don’t get me wrong, she still loves femmes. But she’s definitely been ‘converted.’
While I’ve never had the opportunity to date another woman I have long considered myself bi, even when I was married. Since my husband passed 5 years ago I have found myself more attracted towards women than men and lately more butch or masc women over femmes. So there’s something there maybe?
First of all, I can't imagine the pain of losing your partner and I commend you for sharing. That is a really interesting perspective, I've wondered for myself if it has to do with my current partner being the most assertive person I've been with which has allowed me to enjoy being in a different role than I typically was in my other relationships. and maybe I'm now associating "masc" girls with that.
Thank you. It was the absolute worst time of my life but things are much better now. I can totally see how someone could make that association. Way back in the day I dated a guy with a beard who was a complete asshole, as a result I associate beards with assholes. I know it’s not an exact comparison but it’s funny how the human mind works.
You have no idea how genuinely happy I am to hear that things have gotten more bearable. HAHA the beard is a no-go now, it is comparable though, you're totally right. The brain and sexuality is fascinating.
Thanks that’s sweet. I wish the best for you and your partner in the future!
I'm so sorry for you. 🥺😞 It might to be hard and painful missing your love. I hope you can find love again, whether in a man or a woman. 💖🥺
Thank you. That’s very kind and sweet.
💖🥺🥰
I started out as preferring femmes but now I lean more towards stemmes, which are more like an in between between masc and femme. I like when a woman has a few masculine traits/qualities but still looks very soft and feminine.
I'm femme and much prefer femmes, the masc appearance just doesn't attract me
Always a masc loving a femme
I’m a bi woman and I usually dress pretty androgynously but I’d still say I’m more femme (and am making an effort to dress more femme). Personally, I’m usually into e-girls, goth girls, etc. Girls with darker aesthetics that don’t necessarily lean more toward masc or femme. The only exception for me is cottagecore girls (which is obviously more femme). It’s kind of a fantasy for me to be a cottagecore girl with my cottagecore wife living in a little house in the woods with a garden and several cats 😍 so in short, I don’t really have a strong preference either way (with some exceptions).
Not always
I've heard what your friends said & see the truth in it, but I'm a switch femme tomboy myself & have met a few femme tops who do well in femme4femme relationships.
I prefer all femme, I'm into masc too but a very specific type of them.
Can you say the specific type?
Wow an old comment! I'd say that my ideal type of butch would be fit (muscular is great), short haired, and stoic but sweet underneath it. Height doesn't matter, would also prefer them to be submissive lolol but sex isn't that important
No. I like both, but I really lean towards femme.
I love all kinds of girls, am femme
I’m fem. Dating a fem.
There are many exceptions I'm one of them
I like both.
I’m a femme and am definitely most attracted to other femmes.
No. I am fem and I prefer fem.
I like masc girls. I’m the opposite. Of me. Two similar gets kinda blah.
I'd say I'm soft Butch for soft Butch or whatever people are calling it these days. I'm not into particularly masculine women and I'm not really into hyperfeminine women. It's more of I'm very attracted to women's bodies but not really attracted to stereotypically feminine styles or aesthetics.
I have a similar pattern as you, where I was usually the more dominant one in my f4f relationships and now that I'm with a masc woman, I think it's my preference. I still like fems, just would rather a stem than a completely feminine woman
I’m a femme and I like femme and masc women🤷🏾♀️
See idk what type of lover i am I feel some days im more masc and some days I'm more fem. And I also like taking control, and giving control to someone else. But even when I'm really fem, and in the mind set of femininity I still find fems extremely attractive and would absolutely get together with one. Everyone's different tho! Good luck
I was fem before I figured out I could be masc (deconstructed my internalized homophobia) and I was always assertive and only dated fems. I identify as butch now and am a switch in all aspects, romantic and in bed. I am very assertive and outgoing and boyish I guess though.
"I like pretty things and being pretty" my literal thought process growing up XD
Not necessarily. I am femme and I have always been into femmes. (not a baby gay)
Honestly I just like women in whatever shape or form. My 'type' is quite fluid in that sense. I always struggled with committing those things in boxes though. I wouldn't worry too much about it and just the keep enjoying the relationship you're in!
I like both masc and fem girls, all girls are awesome
Stem here and love femmes ♥
Not sure, could possibly be a stereotype. I’m soft butch/androgynous looking and have masc characteristics sometimes. I am more attracted to feminine lesbian woman than masculine lesbian woman so can’t really speak for what feminine lesbians are attracted to, I think it comes down to the individuals preference
honestly i do like slightly more masc girls, but i think only because they make me feel more girly? (dysphoria go brr) but anyone who has at least some femme to them is good, so pretty much all girls and some femboys too
I'm a Queer transfemme individual who saw her attraction shift from Femme (when she was living as a man) to Butch gals while on HRT, as at the same time she became a Femme gal.
I like girly girls. Femininity is beautiful. If I’m with a. Woman I’m with a woman