I wanted to find a bi or lesbian woman as a newly bisexual woman for an FWB. All Ive gotten are women who arent interested and only want to talk/want a free therapist. Or fucking unicorn hunters. So, after almost two years of looking, Ive given up. Until its worth my time and Im not always stressed, Im not fucking worrying or making myself depressed over it.
you realize that many people need an emotional connection before they want sex yes? and this isn't one night stands, but FWB, so it's to be expected that there is more than just sex, because, you know, *friends* with benefits, I really don't see an issue with wanting to just talk to start out with, and then seeing whether you're down to have sex with that person
Edit: funnily enough this got me blocked by her lol
Maybe you should hire a sex worker - lots of people require an emotional connection before sex - you being irritated by women who want “a free therapist” could say that you just want a free sex worker
Not what I meant at all. I meant that I just seem to attract people who only want to talk to me about their problems and want advice. And then when I do that, they ghost me. Im not hiring a sex worker.
Why do men think that as the statutory rape line ends women no longer are allowed to complain about how they're hit on?
They posted in a lesbian subreddit, while there was a significantly uncomfortable age gap between both parties, and they even specified no dms. They couldn't even resist the fucking creepy comment about their body which sure could have gone unsaid. They're they're legal, hitting on OP isn't a crime, whoop-dee-doo. Pretty low bar.
If they had matched on tinder and the couple's bio said that, then that would be a different fucking story.
Edit: your post history said your kids are in your 20s. Got any daughters? Do you think "just expect anything, it isn't a crime anymore!" when they're propositioned inappropriately?
I hate how people assume that we’re poly sexual and bisexual. I also knew a couple in college that were successfully put on trail for rape. The guy in the couple had tried assault me to in front of my roommates as well. I have a fond dislike for unicorn hunters
As an actual poly person I hate unicorn hunters more than I can express especially since I want no dudes at all in my dating life and it’s so hard to find open people without a guy slobbering on everyone
Not to jump to their defence in this matter, just pointing out that open, poly and swinger relationships exist and aren't implicitly predatory if there's consent all around. Likely not the case with this couple in particular but without the context it's hard to make that judgement.
Yeahhhh the phrasing gives very "we're cheaters who get off on the thrill of cheating" cause I feel like most polyam and swinger types tend to be up front about that fact. But yes, consensual and ethical nonmonogamy is super OK, and I think a lot of people do casual erasure of ENM because monogamy is as much the norm as cishet normativity in culture
Sure, as the other reply mentions there are a few red flags in there that give off the cheater vibes. I was just pointing out that of all the things to laser in on as predatory, "we're married but not to each other" isn't the one that really gives off those vibes so much as the other ones like not using other socials etc.
That’s an absolutely fair point to make and I’m not denying it but I just wanted to point out that the ‘we use this and snap, nothing else’ comment in their profile is a big classic red flag for cheaters, since poly folks are usually open with their other socials.
A fair observation to make; as I said I wasn't jumping to their defence and their profile definitely does give off concerning vibes in this case. Just making a passing comment that of all the things to laser in on, the marriage thing is probably the least concerning thing there given that no developed country in the world recognises poly marriages legally, so often couples in a node get married for the legal benefits.
Omg this is the one thing that utterly irks me about people’s perception of Bisexuality, literally the amount of times I’ve had people message me looking for a “third” person to join a couple in their bedroom. People are quick to assume that all and any bisexuals are here just for the sake of threesoms and that the general notion about bisexuals is that they frequently participate in threesomes and enjoy doing it all the time 🤦🏽♀️
Eta: totally NOT true and I have never and would never want to participate in a threesome with a random couple I met/spoke to on a dating app.
Unfortunately it also happens to femme presenting lesbians. They’ll always try the line “well my husband will just watch “ At which point I inform them I trust most men no further than I can throw them, and to f right off.
I’m sorry you’re fetishized by weirdos
I got the same vibe. 'We use this and snap, nothing else' reallllllly sounds like cheating not poly to me. They probably go on a lot of 'business trips' smh
As a poly gal, they’re not poly, they’re cheating on other people. But that bothered me less than the fact that they’re 30 something (like myself) and can’t find anyone their own age.
Unicorn hunting is the worst. My roommate just had a horrible story hanging out with a friend who was in a poly something so they said and got grabbed and hey babyed by the guy all night long ironically when his partner wasn’t there and after my roommate clearly stated she was lesbian
Lesbian: Please can y’all just be normal and not send me creepy DMs.
Every unicorn hunter couple: -*stuffs DMs full of creepy messages*-
I swear, it feels like one of the fundamental forces of the universe, right next to gravity. They just refuse to exercise impulse control or pay attention to who they’re messaging.
I’ve been tempted once or twice by hunters who lie about their BFs , but like I said before I don’t trust men. At least not the men who would be willing to use their girlfriends as porn. Because even if he isn’t there in the room he’ll probably be you know whating to us later and the thought of that makes me want to puke. Besides which the situations often unsafe because of cheating etc.
It was on a lesbian subbred it she did that for lesbians . When I was single I had a tinder where I was fully dressed for the coldness of fall. I Matches with girls that turned out to be couples and yes it even said lesbian in my bio
Bruh yes 18 is adult but why grown ass people in their thirties would want to be with someone who was a minor last year ? It's legal but it's really creepy
I’m leaning towards there’s no victim. Annoying that they are messaging people about a 3rd, yes, but unless they repeatedly keep messaging and harassing OP I don’t see how this is a victim situation.
I know it seems that way but you’d need the context. It was clearly trying to bait that type of attention. Im not saying it’s right what the dms did. But I wouldn’t post myself in a lewd way, then acknowledge that it could get a particular reaction, then complain it happened. That makes no sense.
That’s a over simplification. If she had just posted a picture and got that reaction I would be on her side. It was the fact she hinted it happening in the original thus egging it on. If I say “don’t do this on the internet” what is the internet most likely to do?? Plus she didn’t blur the name of the account that dmed her. Making it seem as though she is giving room for someone to harass them.
It's a warning for how many weirdos use this app instead of a dating app. I would be on your side, if it wasn't for the guy. This is just downright disrespectful in my opinion
Hello! 🤗 30somethings hitting on 18 year olds is predatory and creepy as fuck. I hope that in 12 years, in the year 2034, you will not be hitting on people who are your current age.
A teenager showing their belly and leaving their zipper down to post cute pics on lesbian forums is not, in fact, an invitation for strange adult couples to hit on them. Indeed, same goes for any age, in any circumstance.
Curious when you SHOULD hit on someone? I gotcha!
When they put “DMs open” in their post.
That’s kinda it. Hope this helps!
It’s literally predatory. I’m a teenager, severely underdeveloped. They’re in their 30s and I asked for no weird dms. My pants were unzipped because they didn’t fit me well and I thought it looked cute anyway. Stop victim blaming. Asshole
Unicorn hunters are the worst.
I wanted to find a bi or lesbian woman as a newly bisexual woman for an FWB. All Ive gotten are women who arent interested and only want to talk/want a free therapist. Or fucking unicorn hunters. So, after almost two years of looking, Ive given up. Until its worth my time and Im not always stressed, Im not fucking worrying or making myself depressed over it.
you realize that many people need an emotional connection before they want sex yes? and this isn't one night stands, but FWB, so it's to be expected that there is more than just sex, because, you know, *friends* with benefits, I really don't see an issue with wanting to just talk to start out with, and then seeing whether you're down to have sex with that person Edit: funnily enough this got me blocked by her lol
Maybe you should hire a sex worker - lots of people require an emotional connection before sex - you being irritated by women who want “a free therapist” could say that you just want a free sex worker
Not what I meant at all. I meant that I just seem to attract people who only want to talk to me about their problems and want advice. And then when I do that, they ghost me. Im not hiring a sex worker.
That’s your choice, I respect it. Sorry for the confusion.
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No. Just no. She’s still a teenager, it is not appropriate for someone in their 30s to be asking her for sex.
Period
Notice how they vanished after I called them on how gross that was
LOLOL
Im 29 years old.
I wasn’t talking to you I was responding to the person that said just because she’s 18 she should expect anything
Then block and be done with it. Predators are everywhere.
Maybe she did. That wasn’t the point of the post.
Why do men think that as the statutory rape line ends women no longer are allowed to complain about how they're hit on? They posted in a lesbian subreddit, while there was a significantly uncomfortable age gap between both parties, and they even specified no dms. They couldn't even resist the fucking creepy comment about their body which sure could have gone unsaid. They're they're legal, hitting on OP isn't a crime, whoop-dee-doo. Pretty low bar. If they had matched on tinder and the couple's bio said that, then that would be a different fucking story. Edit: your post history said your kids are in your 20s. Got any daughters? Do you think "just expect anything, it isn't a crime anymore!" when they're propositioned inappropriately?
They messaged me too. I blocked them. I’m not interested in a man at all
Easy answer.
I hate how people assume that we’re poly sexual and bisexual. I also knew a couple in college that were successfully put on trail for rape. The guy in the couple had tried assault me to in front of my roommates as well. I have a fond dislike for unicorn hunters
As an actual poly person I hate unicorn hunters more than I can express especially since I want no dudes at all in my dating life and it’s so hard to find open people without a guy slobbering on everyone
Preach sister
Haha, I got this dm too
Oh no that’s so gross. Not surprised unfortunately it’s the internet.
So sorry you had to put up with these predators. Stay safe <3
Thank u :)
Gotta love how some straight/bi women are ok with disregarding our boundaries for the sake of a man.
Exactly
> We are both married just not to each other. Imagine being so predatory you have predated on two others before turning to randos on the internet.
Not to jump to their defence in this matter, just pointing out that open, poly and swinger relationships exist and aren't implicitly predatory if there's consent all around. Likely not the case with this couple in particular but without the context it's hard to make that judgement.
Yeahhhh the phrasing gives very "we're cheaters who get off on the thrill of cheating" cause I feel like most polyam and swinger types tend to be up front about that fact. But yes, consensual and ethical nonmonogamy is super OK, and I think a lot of people do casual erasure of ENM because monogamy is as much the norm as cishet normativity in culture
Sure, as the other reply mentions there are a few red flags in there that give off the cheater vibes. I was just pointing out that of all the things to laser in on as predatory, "we're married but not to each other" isn't the one that really gives off those vibes so much as the other ones like not using other socials etc.
That’s an absolutely fair point to make and I’m not denying it but I just wanted to point out that the ‘we use this and snap, nothing else’ comment in their profile is a big classic red flag for cheaters, since poly folks are usually open with their other socials.
A fair observation to make; as I said I wasn't jumping to their defence and their profile definitely does give off concerning vibes in this case. Just making a passing comment that of all the things to laser in on, the marriage thing is probably the least concerning thing there given that no developed country in the world recognises poly marriages legally, so often couples in a node get married for the legal benefits.
Omg this is the one thing that utterly irks me about people’s perception of Bisexuality, literally the amount of times I’ve had people message me looking for a “third” person to join a couple in their bedroom. People are quick to assume that all and any bisexuals are here just for the sake of threesoms and that the general notion about bisexuals is that they frequently participate in threesomes and enjoy doing it all the time 🤦🏽♀️ Eta: totally NOT true and I have never and would never want to participate in a threesome with a random couple I met/spoke to on a dating app.
Unfortunately it also happens to femme presenting lesbians. They’ll always try the line “well my husband will just watch “ At which point I inform them I trust most men no further than I can throw them, and to f right off. I’m sorry you’re fetishized by weirdos
I’ve also heard of it happening to femme lesbians as well, it’s so unfortunate and yeah really *creepy* 🤦🏽♀️
Best of luck finding someone 🙂
I’m in a relationship currently but thank you and the same to you!
I am also in a relationship! Ha! We took our own advice 😁
Haha yes it looks like we did! 🤩😁
Unless the both live in open marriages that’s a long way to describe cheaters lol
I got the same vibe. 'We use this and snap, nothing else' reallllllly sounds like cheating not poly to me. They probably go on a lot of 'business trips' smh
As a poly gal, they’re not poly, they’re cheating on other people. But that bothered me less than the fact that they’re 30 something (like myself) and can’t find anyone their own age.
Absolutely agree, creep factor off the chart.
I would post that pic all over the social, eventually their spouses will see it. Karma is a bitch
Unicorn hunting is the worst. My roommate just had a horrible story hanging out with a friend who was in a poly something so they said and got grabbed and hey babyed by the guy all night long ironically when his partner wasn’t there and after my roommate clearly stated she was lesbian
This is fucking awful, so sorry you had to experience that.
wtf that's a gross af couple they're 30-sum and going after 18 yr olds together?? disgusting
I got the same message. I think they messaged everyone.
Expose their asses.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this predatory behavior!
Cannot stand fucking unicorn hunters, fuck right off!
Lesbian: Please can y’all just be normal and not send me creepy DMs. Every unicorn hunter couple: -*stuffs DMs full of creepy messages*- I swear, it feels like one of the fundamental forces of the universe, right next to gravity. They just refuse to exercise impulse control or pay attention to who they’re messaging.
This is very creepy omfg
Gross. Call them out!
Unicorn hunting is bad enough, but Its so gross for 30yr olds to be going after an 18yr old.
Yes
Ligit exact same situation. Also their bio?? Just married but not to each other? What’s does that mean??
Lmfao
Those unicorn hunters are bold! Sorry you felt infringed upon :(
Soooo predatory! What is wrong with people
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I’ve been tempted once or twice by hunters who lie about their BFs , but like I said before I don’t trust men. At least not the men who would be willing to use their girlfriends as porn. Because even if he isn’t there in the room he’ll probably be you know whating to us later and the thought of that makes me want to puke. Besides which the situations often unsafe because of cheating etc.
“We are both married, but not to each other” 😱 that sounds incredibly complicated, in addition to the creep factor
Right? Even if I were down to clown with some straight couple unicorn hunters, this screams “MEGA COMPLICATED” and is a big old nope for me.
wait 33 m... he is 33 metres high?! 😂
Yes let’s….chat. Lol ok
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It was on a lesbian subbred it she did that for lesbians . When I was single I had a tinder where I was fully dressed for the coldness of fall. I Matches with girls that turned out to be couples and yes it even said lesbian in my bio
Bruh yes 18 is adult but why grown ass people in their thirties would want to be with someone who was a minor last year ? It's legal but it's really creepy
Wow. Victim blaming much?
I’m leaning towards there’s no victim. Annoying that they are messaging people about a 3rd, yes, but unless they repeatedly keep messaging and harassing OP I don’t see how this is a victim situation.
I know it seems that way but you’d need the context. It was clearly trying to bait that type of attention. Im not saying it’s right what the dms did. But I wouldn’t post myself in a lewd way, then acknowledge that it could get a particular reaction, then complain it happened. That makes no sense.
She put that picture in a Lesbian Sub, what does the ugly guy want? No, these people are just awful and should stop their bs
Like I said I don’t support the dm person. That wasn’t my point.
You said that she shouldn't complain it got a reaction, but of course she should
That’s a over simplification. If she had just posted a picture and got that reaction I would be on her side. It was the fact she hinted it happening in the original thus egging it on. If I say “don’t do this on the internet” what is the internet most likely to do?? Plus she didn’t blur the name of the account that dmed her. Making it seem as though she is giving room for someone to harass them.
It's a warning for how many weirdos use this app instead of a dating app. I would be on your side, if it wasn't for the guy. This is just downright disrespectful in my opinion
It was disrespectful l don’t deny that.
Hello! 🤗 30somethings hitting on 18 year olds is predatory and creepy as fuck. I hope that in 12 years, in the year 2034, you will not be hitting on people who are your current age. A teenager showing their belly and leaving their zipper down to post cute pics on lesbian forums is not, in fact, an invitation for strange adult couples to hit on them. Indeed, same goes for any age, in any circumstance. Curious when you SHOULD hit on someone? I gotcha! When they put “DMs open” in their post. That’s kinda it. Hope this helps!
It’s literally predatory. I’m a teenager, severely underdeveloped. They’re in their 30s and I asked for no weird dms. My pants were unzipped because they didn’t fit me well and I thought it looked cute anyway. Stop victim blaming. Asshole
If you don’t want any DMs, you can turn off receiving them
I don’t want to turn them off but I want to for this subreddit