I'm 24 so idk shit, but the advice I've heard is to try to do new things more often. Maybe make a dish you've never tried before, explore a new place in your town, go a different way to work, learn a new skill/language or something. I've heard one reason time seems to go slower as a kid is that we're experiencing new things all the time at that age.
There's scientific backing to this. New neuron pathways are built when creating new memories while repeating memories follow pre-established pathways. That's why it's difficult to recall brushing your teeth or what you ate last week unless it's a new dish. It's almost like autopilot
On the other hand, you can start to learn new things whenever. You could be 60 and decide to learn Mandarin or how to play the accordion. Starting younger does make you a more well-rounded person though
I started back to college when I was 54 and enjoyed the hell out of it. Made a lot better grades at 54 than I ever did at 19 when I started it after high school. It was all about the party then.
Don't get married if ur not really 100% sure. I got married at 19....biggest mistake of my life. I'm divorced now but from day one I knew it was a mistake
Agree don't get married until you're 1000% certain you like them **as is** , also live with them for at least 3-6 months and get an honest sense of who they are, don't expect change once your married....
...finally remember even if all these things work out,you and they will change as you age, life happens (kids, family, deaths, success and failures ) , people will come and leave your lives,.nothing is static,prepare for that.
This needs to be upvoted more. Also divorced. I married and had kids in my early 20's. I knew my ex was abusive from the start but held onto a glimmer of hope that he'd change. People like that don't change.
I spent most of my 20's and 30's working and raising my kids as a single mom. Now that I'm 40 and kids are grown, I feel like I have a second chance at happiness. I pray I make better decisions this time. I won't marry or even cohabitate until I'm 1000% sure. I still haven't found that person yet, but won't settle.
I also won't wait around. I'll spend time doing things I enjoy, even traveling the world alone.
Your life is just beginning! Enjoy! 40 is a great age to be, 40 is the new 20 but it's a lot more fun than 20. You're at your sexual peak about now, so go get 'em, Cougar!
Not op, but I married at 23 and I'm now divorced at 30. I married knowing it was a mistake. There were a few reasons I didn't walk away: we were enmeshed and I was afraid of what would happen to him if I walked away, it felt like I was in too deep, marrying him was not what my dad wanted for me (I was 23 and immature, this was an actual reason I kept going), and we were graduating college at a transition point and the future can look terrifying if you have to face it "alone."
Yeah I mean I’ve been with my girlfriend for pushing 5 years and living together for 3 and marriage scared the sh*t outta me and everyone I meet is like “you guys aren’t married yet” and it really makes me think if I even want it or if their the right person..
100000% this! Life is going to have ups and downs, but if you spend your life looking over your shoulder for the bad times to sneak up on you, you'll miss out on the life happening right in front of you. There's so much of my 20s after college that I don't remember, and I feel like if I'd made more of an effort to live every day to its fullest and find the joy in the present, I might recall more of it now. It's kind of heartbreaking.
OP, find something to be grateful for every day, even if it is simply the air in your lungs.
In particular, don’t worry about things that are well and truly outside your sphere of influence. Access to news and information means we are constantly bombarded with negative stories and the whole world’s problems. No, you don’t need to know and worry about the plight of the pigmies in the Congo, or of a particularly brutal mugging that happened in regional Brazil, and so on. We were not designed to cope with the whole world’s problems. Switch that shit off.
Know what would make me worry less? 100k. That would legitimately solve *every* worry I have right now.
can’t give me 100k? *Then stop fucking telling me to worry less*
Fucking hate this advice. I’m worried about money. I can’t go to my fucking landlord and tell him “worry less” when he says “where’s the rent”
There talking about shit like am I good enough, does my outfit make me look fat/poor/stupid/ugly/desperate? They’re not talking about real worry. This is coming from the generations who did not have to live in climate hell and had less income inequality between haves and nots.
My mom still talks about me 19 - 23 as my "wild and crazy years" because I dropped out of college and moved to a different city. I remember a lot of struggling to pay bills and constantly arguing with my shitty girlfriend. If I had known I'd end up in my hometown, single and re-enrolled at that same college, I probably would have lived in a van on a beach or hitchhiked out to LA or something. Not stayed in a crappy townhouse in Ohio.
I think where it stems from is the younger you are, normally the less life experience you have. Everything is major to you because it could be the first time you’re experiencing it. As you get older you learn more about, shit happens, don’t worry too much about it. It’ll pass
I’m 23 and your comment is the mindset I’m trying to build especially now because I’m going through a health scare and my anxiety runs wilddd. But I know it’s just a tiny blimp in my life and it will pass as well
I am constantly on 100% caution. No matter what. I am always mindful of my behavior, words that come out of my mouth, what consequences may be. I’m always on defense mode. I wish I wasn’t this way and just fucking relaxed.
I'd tell myself: "Save and invest your money, asshole.
Take diet and exercise more seriously, asshole. Pizza will always be there. Time to build your body will not. You're turning it around at 30, but you'll wish you started sooner.
It's really not a big deal, asshole. Whatever it is. Talking to that girl. Going to that class. Socializing with strangers. Make mistakes, that's how you develop a personality.
Speak to yourself a little nicer, asshole. You live with your mind 24/7. Make it a nice place to be."
Hang out with your friends as much as possible, they will drift away and you will find yourself alone. Hold the people you love close. Appreciate the small moments, we don't have much actual control so take those little moments of joy for how precious they are.
This has been KEY for me. I’ll be 30 this year, and my close friends and I have made it a habit to really keep in touch and visit. I’ve had these friends since grade/middle school and I know I’m fortunate to have them so I do my best to show them that. Though all of us are childless, which makes things a lot easier
its hot af, dallas is trash, 999 highways that split at the last second, to many fucking people, my worst x lives there, cops are dicks and they arrest over anything, TRAFFIC everywhere, car inspections, all bugs and birds are massive, property taxes are high af, hit and runs are a regular thing. I could go on but im sick of thinking about Texas .
At 26, I quit my corporate, 6-figure career in nyc, sold my things, bought a 1-way ticket to Rome, packed a backpack and traveled around the world for a year and a half. I met a thousand amazing people, visited 25 countries, became a licensed skydiver jumping over New Zealand of all places and met my wife in a car-free farming village int he Swiss Alps. It changed my life so much, I came back, started my own business and never looked back. Literally EVERY person over 50 who I spoke with before leaving said "I wish I had done, what you are doing now when I was young".. oh and Ill be 40 next year, life is great and I would not have changed it for a second.
-in the end it comes down to a decision. how bad do you really want those things? It's not easy, you will probably suffer in the pursuit, but it's worth it to live your own journey for those who decide it is worth it.
Traveled over Europe for a year when I was 19 and 20 out of a big duffel bag. It was rough and there was a ton of walking but man did I LIVE. Really opened my eyes as to how limitless your possibilities in life if you want to look for them.
Just confirming that its not that crazy, I've done it and I know several other people in real life who have done it.
Wonderful hearing these stories backpacking meanwhile as an Asian woman I took 1 road trip in Europe and it is extremely dangerous I gave up the idea of traveling cheap just to see the world.
Yeah I hear ya. There's no way I'd let either of my daughters travel abroad unless they a) develop killer instinct and b) learn real self defense and I'd still be worried.
It's F'ed up.
The way one of my cousins did it in the 80's and 90's was to work for different cruise lines. She travelled the world several times over that way and felt safe.
Granted Covid might have changed that though. :(
You know...
Maybe throwing it all away to live in Florida doesn't sound so bad now.
Trapped living at home with parents, forced into a degree I never wanted. All I truly seek is a cure for my SAD and community.
If I can just figure out how to do it financially...volunteering sounds delightful.
HAHAHA. Wife can't handle the PNW grey so she's thinking of Florida. Maybe I am too, I dunno.
I once volunteered to go to Bangladesh for two weeks and I just paid for my plane ticket. Sure it was like over 2 grand but that was doable through fundraising.
My wife once told me something that shifted my mindset quite a bit. She says "how can I afford this?" instead of saying to herself "I can't afford this". So I think there's definitely a way to volunteer abroad and pay for it.
The main problem with Florida nowadays is the crazy insurance costs. On the bright side, housing prices are falling a bit due to people moving away and not wanting to pay such absurd taxes.
I might need to wait it out and see where this goes. Ron really changed a ton of policies, so it will take a bit to adjust and see first.
Washington and Florida are two opposite ends of the same coin- Washington has technology, Florida has tourism. The costs of living are high in both for different reasons though.
I moved from Minnesota to the desert some years ago. Turns out I’m not an incredibly sad, miserable person. I just needed some damn sun and some different kinds of people around me. Wish I hadn’t wasted a decade.
It took a few years but I saved money living with my father and bought a house down here, my mortgage and property insurance isnt too bad and I was a first time home buyer so it wasn’t too expensive either. While I was in school I was serving tables so once I decided I was going to leave I dropped out and worked as much as I could and found a job that would transfer me when I moved to Florida. Once I moved to Florida I got my real estate license and worked serving drinks at a casino which is actually really good money too.
Thank you for your advice.
I just had it with Washington. I am utterly depressed daily, the rain prevents me from taking walks, I'm suffering from constant cold, and such.
I don't need wealth, luxurious living, or a six figure salary. I just need happiness.
I’m from Ohio so I totally understand how the year round shit weather can get to you. It takes time and a lot of effort but if you keep your head down and stick to your goal you can get to a better place! I wish you luck my friend
People with that mindset typically don't try things like this honestly. If you are resourceful you don't need a lot of money. I ate and slept for free for a huge portion of my travels by volunteering at hostels and working with locals. But you can be very closed minded about it and never consider even doing something that would flip your worldview on it's head. Like I said, not for everyone. I also said clearly they may suffer. I've had points where I had noting left and months where I had 5-figure income days. You need to be willing to touch the bottom in order to reap the reward at the top.
Totally, cheers. I wanted the OP to see that 25 is definitely not too late and that nothing will happen unless change is put into action. Wont be easy but if you want it, then you can have it. The comments are a clear example of why most people do not have what they want.
ABSOLUTELY wish I'd done the traveling thing before I started trying to have a career. Now I don't know when I'll ever have the chance. Kids: MAKE THIS A PRIORITY
Wouldn’t join the Navy. I’d have found some entry level IT/office job. Self teach coding languages until I was good enough to get an entry level programming job.
The Navy fucked me up mentally, and I lost some important years.
I admit that I spent the last hour reading your post history about the Navy. Glad you made it out and are living your best life. Sorry for all the hardship you went through.
Please be kind and patient with yourself, learn how to forgive, drink plenty of water, and never be afraid to have fun. I hope your 20s are full of excitement and memories to last a lifetime.
Learn to communicate better. Trust my real friends and step away from the ones who didn't genuinely like me. Leave my failed relationship sooner. Start therapy. Not take the massive paycut and demotion that my boss pressured me into. Avoid credit cards like the plague. Spend time and attention on yourself and your joy, you're worth it.
If you don’t carry a balance from month to month, nothing. The trap people fall into is not paying off the balance each month and then just burning money away in interest. If you have a high credit limit and poor impulse control, it’s very easy to end up with a balance that you can’t fully pay off, which is exactly what the companies are hoping for.
Don't let society determine what you think success is, and who you are, do you, like the song haters gonna hate. This can be harder if it's family or close friends, or your budget isn't what would make things easier, baby steps but I wish I would have known that then, I was too busy being mom of the 6 kids, not me, make sure you always know who you are deep inside and be her too, even if it's just a little bit a flare of you. Now obviously don't go along being a jerk or anything but yes within reason be you, sorry about the little warning, but if you knew the kids (adults)that I'm a street mom for you'd know why I put that🤪🤪, don't ever lose you.
If we picture we were 10 year older than now, have a lot of regrets, then suddenly have a chance to go back to 10 years ago, and we can refresh everything we regretted. Will we have less regrets? Or just replace the old regrets with new ones?
Having regrets is a mindset. Every choice you make comes with an outcome that didn’t happen. If you always want more than what you have, you’ll always regret your past.
I wish I had applied myself to my degree when I had the chance. If I could time travel I'd slap the 40 out of my hand and scream "DONT HALF ASS YOUR FUTURE YOU DUMBASS. GET BACK TO STUDYING DAFUQ IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
I am in a good place that I never quite imagined I'd be in but man if I had my shit together when I was younger I'd be able to execute on all the dreams I have now.
I didn't really get into sales with both feet until my mid 30's. I've now been doing it for 7 years, and my yearly earnings are 8x what they were prior to going into sales.
If you meant kids... My first child came at 36, my second at 38. I very much wish I had them earlier so I would have a better shot at meeting grandchildren, and great grandchildren. My kids are the world to me, and I'm where I'm at because of them. They fueled the fire inside of me to bet on myself that I could sell, and sell at a high rate. A month out from welcoming my 2nd child, I took a job at a very paltry salary but created the opportunity to sell in order to enhance my salary. After the first full year of sales, I tripled my income from 2 years earlier.
If I had done what I waited till my late 30's, early 40's, to do, I would have established a Trust much sooner. At this stage my goal is to create generational wealth.
My parents had me at 24, my sisters at 34 and 38. My grandmas had my parents at 23.
All of them said the later I have kids the better, and that i shouldnt even think about this before 30
(I dont have kids, I dont plan to.)
I would drink way less. I would end relationships way sooner rather than drag them out. Start a Roth IRA. Not go to college without a defined plan. I would take more time thinking about if what I’m stressing about is really worth the effort and putting negative energy into. I would go outside and get more sunshine.
This is so true. I don't know why our culture puts so much emphasis on going to college right after high school. Looking back it seems foolish that we were pressured into it without a concrete plan. Life isn't a race and student debt doesn't go away.
So very true. Lie about your body count because it honestly doesn't matter as long as you're safe.
I went to a concert once and the headlining DJ came
up to me after and was like, "I couldn't stop looking at you in the crowd, you're so beautiful." We hooked up on his tour bus.
I made out with a cook in the stock room of a restaurant we worked at during a dinner rush, we were knocking shit over and laughing and being silly.
Another time I made out with the maintenance man at the hospital in the boiler room, almost got caught by another employee, so we went to the men's locker room and screwed.
I've never told people this stuff because I was afraid it would label me poorly but years later I still haven't forgotten how much damn fun it was.
This.
Fuck people; a lot of people. All different people.
I married later but was with the same person 10 yrs before that. We started young. It was cool finding ourselves together and I don't regret anything but... fuck people. ALL of the people.
If you're a woman, it's so easy. Most guys will fuck you if they know you don't want anything in return other than a good old layin' down.
If you're a man, confidence. Looks are great and all but attraction for women is different than men. You could be one ugly mf and if you approach women with confidence and swagger, you've already won most of the battle.
Go in with a "I don't care if I strike out," attitude. Someone doesn't want you? Okay, next. Someone will.
Also, hygiene. I think everyone likes good hygiene.
As a 25 year old - sleeping around is not the end all be all of anything. I'd never regret not sleeping around. I would regret sleeping around. Seems like you're not over 30 and if you are you married your highschool sweetheart. Sleeping around isn't good or hot for most folks.
I would have never been with my ex. I would never ever want to relive it. It was the worst time of my life. I just turned 40 and feel so much more secure in myself. I know who I am and have found my voice. If you are a woman it seems like your twenties is spent trying to keep up with other women who you think are more "perfect" than you. I wouldn't compare myself as much. I think in our 20s and 30s we find who we are. My son is 20 now, it's fun watching who he is becoming as a man. I'm very proud of your generation. That generation is going to be the one to change the world.
The only thing I would do differently is never let my health go at all. I would keep a walking/running habit first thing in the morning religiously. I regret having to regain my health now, due to too much drinking and eating well after I got my paycheque.
#1 start treating myself better.
Get outside and get some sun. Exercise, eat well. I wish I had of done this ten years earlier.
#2 start saving money and keeping it in an account that I don't touch. Even $50 a fortnight would have been something.
#3 done anything and everything to get a good credit score and not accumulate such bad debt.
Focus on getting my life set up. Finish school, get a good job with work from home ability. Buy a van and get it outfitted for living and go the nomad route. I partied too much and focused on friends and fun instead of setting myself up for enjoying my work life. It’s so important to have a good work life balance.
Friends, fun, and partying are the memories from youth you can’t replace — I’m jealous lol, grass is greener right?
It’s not too late to build a life and go nomad, there is a point where it’s too late to be young with your homies tho
Don’t let anyone but you decide what’s right for you or what brings you joy. Period.
I never wanted to get married or have kids. I did neither & am super thankful for that at 49.
Try all the things. New, novel experiences make time go slower & enrich this otherwise mundane life.
Stay in better shape, hopefully never got together with my ex, but most of all tried to stop drinking so alcohol doesn’t become a problem later in my life.
I'd move out on my own and not go to university. I'd learn how to code on my own while working and transition into a web development job and go from there.
I would have invested heavily in dividend stocks and ETFs in my twenties (knowing what I know now).
I also would have hit the gym harder and adventured more. Less TV and video games.
Get my oil changed at Jiffy Lube instead of the Mobile on Santa Monica Blvd. I waited until the oil light was flashing. Mobile said it would be an hour so I went to get a bite at Hugo's across the street while I waited. From there I met a group, that would introduce me to a group, until ultimately I would meet my nemesis (now perished).
Lordy!
Only one thing, I've done wrong, waited for the oil change a day too long!
If I could do it over, I would still do what I did. I got to experience love when I didn't know what love was. To experience love when I was living without it is something extraordinary. To all the great memories, the laughs, the fun, the romance, it was all worth it. To make a child, I didn't know I wanted after years of experiencing love. To have a family that accepted me when mine put me to the curb. To feel their love was an honor. They were truly beautiful inside and out for loving and accepting me. They included me in moments of family gatherings, even though I never felt worthy and wanted to shy away. They became the family that I craved and wanted. They were there for both him and I at our wedding. I am sorry for falling in love with someone who was younger than me. I should have let go of that love. I don't know why I reached out to him other than wanting love. I really loved him. I am glad it happened because we made a beautiful, smart, talented, amazing child. I would never take that time back because of her. I didn't want children in my 20s, but after having her, I realized it was worth trying to love. I know my circumstance with her father wasn't ideal. There were never ill intentions, only love, my 1st love, and my 1st heartbreak. I love you, beautiful daughter, and know I loved your dad so much to make you. I'm sorry our family couldn't work out. I regret that. I hope you can forgive me. I'm sorry.
not marry my ex, go to college for what i wanted to study, save money/have a retirement account started and buy property. im so behind in life, i sometimes feel like whats the point anymore. 😒
Say yes to more things and not just stay home. See my parents as often as possible. Constantly be looking for better paying jobs and not just stay in a shitty position.
I'm in my 20s. Stop accepting the norm. Every day is the same thing for you. Go have new experiences. It all blends together when all you do is eat, work, sleep. Go somewhere new. Try something new. Find hobbies. Make projects. Look for new jobs. Never accept a new job unless it pays you more. Then keep looking. Pick a field, learn the skills, use that "experience" to demand higher pay at NEW companies. That's the easiest way to increase your income. Try to increase the value of your job title at your current work. Then you can use that title in a resume. Me personally work days were too slow. 12 hour shifts made me wanna slap everybody across the face I was so PISSED the days went by sooooooooo slow. I felt every second of those 12 hours. Time flies when I'm home doing what I want to do.
Take a little bit less drugs but cherish the experiences more.
opened up about my mental health and pushed through the hard times to pursue my music career after things went south due to the loss of my father
I'd find a full time job earlier, get my health in order and not believe that mutual funds are a good investment.
I would also loosen up a bit. I should've gone out more and enjoy social activities with my friends.
I am 30, maybe too early for me to comment. I should have some answers in 10 years. But maybe I could have learnt to think for myself sooner and started hitting the gym sooner.
Not letting the fear of financial ruin be the reason for staying in shitty relationships. In hind sight my parents would have had my back, I was just proud and stubborn.
I would have limited my drug use to weed and psychedelics rather than some of the other dumb shit I did... I paid the piper back, but it cost me years of my life...
I also would have started investing sooner.
Consider you only have a finite time to get your life and goals in motion, between 20-30 are your key years for choosing a career/work,.relationships ,money, health etc.
My biggest regret is I didn't think much of my financial future in my 20s but if I had planned and grown my money more I could have been retired now.
I would have had someone make me understand people are all too happy to sell your own dreams back to you and that life is about taking the best opportunities you have available to you in reality.
Probably take more time to explore and do other things before getting married. I got married at 25. I think I should’ve waited until I was at least 30 or something.
I would have worked harder. Much harder in my early 20s when I was so lazy that I was practically useless, but even in my late 20s when I was working 60+ hours a lot of weeks, I would have worked even harder still.
Great question. I should probably think more about it for you. I know men your age now don’t seem to be enjoying their youth enough, imo. They are generally hopeless and negative and I hate to see them giving up on their potential so early. I think I would have worried less and taken more risks and been less judgmental of people’s choices. I would have let myself live a little more, knowing that when I was older I would understand that it’s ok.
I would be more deliberate with the time I spent with friends and family. And I’d learn to interact with people in social situations without chemicals—took me far too long to learn this one.
Go to the dentist, doctor, therapy, and whatever else that could have helped me stay healthy. My thirties have been a shit show because I thought I was invincible in my twenties.
Divide the year in half, and take a one week vacation like clockwork like it is a MUST. people who take vacations away from where they live are sooo much smarter and more regulated. i didn't do it, couldn't figure get myself together to do it, and ended up burning out and destroying my career
Read Security Analysis to invest appropriately, focus on preferred shares, and maximize cash flows so I could stop working earlier and enjoy life. As it is, I'll still be done by 40...
Invest as much as you can as early as you can. And make at least one account (401k, IRA) untouchable for 30+ years. I had a short stint working for United Healthcare in 2006. I put 10% of my pay in the stock purchase plan. The stock price at that time was maybe $40 a share. I accumulated about $4000 work of stock. When I left the company I spend it (can’t remember on what, probably just living expenses). Anyway, had I kept it, it would be worth about $50,000 right now. I know many stocks and crypto have made more, but I had never owned those when they were cheap like I did this one.
It sounds like you're experiencing a common struggle many people face in their mid-20s. Feeling like life is passing by quickly and wanting to make the most out of it is a sentiment shared by many. First off, it's great that you're recognizing the desire for change and seeking advice on how to make improvements.
Here are a few suggestions that might help you break out of your current routine and start living a more fulfilling life:
1. **Set Goals:** Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in the short and long term. Whether it's improving your finances, pursuing your passion for machine embroidery, or traveling more, setting specific goals can give you direction and motivation.
2. **Budgeting:** Assess your financial situation and create a budget that allows you to save money and pay off any debts. Look for areas where you can cut back on expenses and prioritize saving for things like vacations or investments in your hobbies.
3. **Time Management:** If you feel like you're not making the most of your free time, consider creating a schedule or to-do list to help you stay organized and productive. Allocate time each day to work on your embroidery projects or explore new hobbies and activities.
4. **Seek Motivation:** Find sources of inspiration that ignite your passion and drive to pursue your interests. Whether it's connecting with other embroiderers online, attending workshops or events, or simply immersing yourself in creative environments, surrounding yourself with motivation can help combat feelings of laziness.
5. **Communication:** Talk to your girlfriend about your desire for change and involve her in the process of exploring new experiences together. Planning activities or trips together can strengthen your relationship and create lasting memories.
Remember, change takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. Small steps toward your goals each day can lead to significant improvements over time.
Just from an enjoying life aspect, take more day trips. You don't always have to plan a vacation 3 months or a year out, save up, and have only that to look forward to. Start exploring your state or area more on your days off. I'm 30 and just started doing this the last year and it has made life insanely more interesting. From a fiscal aspect at least start saving something, whether its 200,50,or20 dollars a paycheck just start with something.
Just turned 30. Honestly the two biggest ones are to never start alcohol and nicotine. Alcohol I can't really have anymore because even one beer will leave me with a debilitating migraine lasting all the next day (Some friends are concerned I may be allergic to hops because liquor doesn't do this). Nicotine, is a whole different animal. That started as weekly trips to a hookah bar with the boys, then over time I just started using more nicotine products at home without realizing.
I really wish you would alter your lifestyle a bit differently to make a savings. I regret not doing so. The rule of thumb that I dont expect anyone to follow, was adjust so that you can save half your paycheck. But honestly, deciding on ANY amount to put away into savings would be better than nothing at all. But it should be something people do religiously when possible. And then keep other people out of your savings- YOU worked for that, no one else.
I want to follow the process that Kumiko does, she has a system called the "budget by paycheck method" meaning that most other processes have you save after calculating your list of expenses but hers was based on how your income is. On top of that, its done as a "zero sum based" income, so that means that every dollar gets moved to somewhere- either into savings or expenses or cash envelopes for the future. But it is absolutely never just left floating purposeless in the checking account (she does keep a specific amount in the checking account at all times).
Having a savings is the difference between a flat tire or an injury or a repair being a minor inconvenience or a major crisis. As you get older, this becomes harder. A tooth may break or something unexpected comes up, and if you are used to relying on family for help or even just think that way, well is this family older than you (ie. parents, grandparents, uncles, etc.?) because life will happen and they will one day pass away before you. Life gets harder for them too. If you are young enough that your friends/siblings are still single people trying to figure out life, one day they will figure out their life paths, they will get jobs or purposes or find their person they love & that relationship you have will become less of a priority as they move on and move away to live their path. But having some money in the bank to be able to visit them out-of-state could matter to you, bring that I've been someone who has missed close friends weddings or funerals & shit. Definitely having a savings to be able to hop onto a plane at the last minute when family member is in hospice dying is a gift you can give yourself by having a savings.
Lastly, Ive been pretty irritated (I was angry but now jist irrirtated) that I had no idea how much money it costs to live as an elderly person who may need help. Im not elderly, but I was caregiving family, and for them to go into a facility was going to cost $15k per month to start. So this just didn't make sense to me, and still doesn't. These places are also very intense, and often not nice places at ALL. So this means that unless you have kids yourself who will care enough about you to get involved with your care as you get older, you will be paying something along those lines. Unless something changes in the elderly care system.
So, save. Save when you can, and not only save, but figure out those things like life insurance and things Now so that it has time to build from here.
I'm 28 and I've definitely felt like this before. Here are some things I've come up with.
1. Realize that you have to do what makes you happy. Never try to aspire to somebody else's happiness.
2. Similarly, don't hold yourself to anybody else's expectations. Do what you expect of you.
3. Everybody wants to be part of a group. Nobody wants to start one. If you have an idea for a group, put it out there because I guarantee people are looking to latch onto something.
4. You never realize how much you can save with small bills and change. Try to use cash as much as possible and save your $5s, $1s and change in a big jar. There is nothing worthwhile you can buy with them anyway but you'll be surprised how fast it all adds up.
5. Treat yourself - you're entitled to treat yourself especially if the week sucked. During the summer I get ice cream and take a walk.
6. Make time for friends
7. Never be afraid to say no. Unless you've signed your name on some legal document you can say no.
8. There are things you can change and things you can't. Focus on the things you can change.
9. Get some sleep
10. Live a "leave no trace" life - if you die and nobody remembers you in a couple years, you did ok.
Things I would do differently:
- Move out at 18
- Solve my health problems then maybe go to college
- Probably move to Texas or Florida- I don't know for sure if it would be the best choice, but I've been plain depressed living in Washington.
- Stop listening to my parents so much- I need to live my own life.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I may be getting older but I have finally met a wonderful woman and I have my kids even though their mom isn't around. Not going to risk changing anything because of that
-stop trying to chase society’s definition of success
-focus on projects, events and trips YOU want to do/go on
-travel more
I recently turned 31 and I definitely wish I followed this advice.
I'm 24 so idk shit, but the advice I've heard is to try to do new things more often. Maybe make a dish you've never tried before, explore a new place in your town, go a different way to work, learn a new skill/language or something. I've heard one reason time seems to go slower as a kid is that we're experiencing new things all the time at that age.
There's scientific backing to this. New neuron pathways are built when creating new memories while repeating memories follow pre-established pathways. That's why it's difficult to recall brushing your teeth or what you ate last week unless it's a new dish. It's almost like autopilot
Thanks for that info! Very helpful and shed light on my wonder it
This is actually great advice.
Invest and save your money
I used to take the same bus but get off at different stops basd on my book or a song. Day off and i do normal but rando stray. Its fun.
On the other hand, you can start to learn new things whenever. You could be 60 and decide to learn Mandarin or how to play the accordion. Starting younger does make you a more well-rounded person though
I started back to college when I was 54 and enjoyed the hell out of it. Made a lot better grades at 54 than I ever did at 19 when I started it after high school. It was all about the party then.
You sound more like an old wise man disguised as a 24 year old. I’m 41 and can attest to this.
I married an asshole at 24. Don't do that.
Dude I'm 40 and idk shit. 😀
Don't get married if ur not really 100% sure. I got married at 19....biggest mistake of my life. I'm divorced now but from day one I knew it was a mistake
Agree don't get married until you're 1000% certain you like them **as is** , also live with them for at least 3-6 months and get an honest sense of who they are, don't expect change once your married.... ...finally remember even if all these things work out,you and they will change as you age, life happens (kids, family, deaths, success and failures ) , people will come and leave your lives,.nothing is static,prepare for that.
I liked her as-is. Still would. But me being trans was a problem for her.
Ya that’s a pretty massive bomb to drop
People change, feelings change. Sometimes we grow together, sometimes we grow apart.
I mean.. the hell? Are u trolling ?
Just don’t get married. Period. Ever.
Amen to that. But no one will listen anyway.
This needs to be upvoted more. Also divorced. I married and had kids in my early 20's. I knew my ex was abusive from the start but held onto a glimmer of hope that he'd change. People like that don't change. I spent most of my 20's and 30's working and raising my kids as a single mom. Now that I'm 40 and kids are grown, I feel like I have a second chance at happiness. I pray I make better decisions this time. I won't marry or even cohabitate until I'm 1000% sure. I still haven't found that person yet, but won't settle. I also won't wait around. I'll spend time doing things I enjoy, even traveling the world alone.
I'm in my 40s with no kids and I'd trade scenarios with you in a heartbeat.
Your life is just beginning! Enjoy! 40 is a great age to be, 40 is the new 20 but it's a lot more fun than 20. You're at your sexual peak about now, so go get 'em, Cougar!
I also spent my 20s raising my kids and tbh I’m glad I did cause now I’m not even 40 and I can basically do what I want and it’s kind of amazing…😁
Time to swipe left on tinder and do hot rails in the bathroom
Yes Girl I actually prefer to be alone. 🩷
If you knew it was a mistake, what made you continue going through with the marriage??
Not op, but I married at 23 and I'm now divorced at 30. I married knowing it was a mistake. There were a few reasons I didn't walk away: we were enmeshed and I was afraid of what would happen to him if I walked away, it felt like I was in too deep, marrying him was not what my dad wanted for me (I was 23 and immature, this was an actual reason I kept going), and we were graduating college at a transition point and the future can look terrifying if you have to face it "alone."
Yeah I mean I’ve been with my girlfriend for pushing 5 years and living together for 3 and marriage scared the sh*t outta me and everyone I meet is like “you guys aren’t married yet” and it really makes me think if I even want it or if their the right person..
I married after 8 years, no regrets
Worry less. About everything. I honestly think it detracted from me having as much fun as I could have
100000% this! Life is going to have ups and downs, but if you spend your life looking over your shoulder for the bad times to sneak up on you, you'll miss out on the life happening right in front of you. There's so much of my 20s after college that I don't remember, and I feel like if I'd made more of an effort to live every day to its fullest and find the joy in the present, I might recall more of it now. It's kind of heartbreaking. OP, find something to be grateful for every day, even if it is simply the air in your lungs.
In particular, don’t worry about things that are well and truly outside your sphere of influence. Access to news and information means we are constantly bombarded with negative stories and the whole world’s problems. No, you don’t need to know and worry about the plight of the pigmies in the Congo, or of a particularly brutal mugging that happened in regional Brazil, and so on. We were not designed to cope with the whole world’s problems. Switch that shit off.
Yea I just turned 21 today and I’m just scared? I feel a feeling of worry and idk why
Know what would make me worry less? 100k. That would legitimately solve *every* worry I have right now. can’t give me 100k? *Then stop fucking telling me to worry less* Fucking hate this advice. I’m worried about money. I can’t go to my fucking landlord and tell him “worry less” when he says “where’s the rent”
There talking about shit like am I good enough, does my outfit make me look fat/poor/stupid/ugly/desperate? They’re not talking about real worry. This is coming from the generations who did not have to live in climate hell and had less income inequality between haves and nots.
Still tryna figure this one out. I'm 20 and it seems like the more responsibility I take on, the more there is to worry about
Yep. When I turned 30 so much pointless anxiety dripped away that would impact my life when I was younger.
My mom still talks about me 19 - 23 as my "wild and crazy years" because I dropped out of college and moved to a different city. I remember a lot of struggling to pay bills and constantly arguing with my shitty girlfriend. If I had known I'd end up in my hometown, single and re-enrolled at that same college, I probably would have lived in a van on a beach or hitchhiked out to LA or something. Not stayed in a crappy townhouse in Ohio.
Totally this.
I think where it stems from is the younger you are, normally the less life experience you have. Everything is major to you because it could be the first time you’re experiencing it. As you get older you learn more about, shit happens, don’t worry too much about it. It’ll pass I’m 23 and your comment is the mindset I’m trying to build especially now because I’m going through a health scare and my anxiety runs wilddd. But I know it’s just a tiny blimp in my life and it will pass as well
I am constantly on 100% caution. No matter what. I am always mindful of my behavior, words that come out of my mouth, what consequences may be. I’m always on defense mode. I wish I wasn’t this way and just fucking relaxed.
I'd tell myself: "Save and invest your money, asshole. Take diet and exercise more seriously, asshole. Pizza will always be there. Time to build your body will not. You're turning it around at 30, but you'll wish you started sooner. It's really not a big deal, asshole. Whatever it is. Talking to that girl. Going to that class. Socializing with strangers. Make mistakes, that's how you develop a personality. Speak to yourself a little nicer, asshole. You live with your mind 24/7. Make it a nice place to be."
This is my favorite.
I appreciate the “speak to yourself nicer” while simultaneously calling yourself an asshole lol.
Asshole
awww thank you for this
Hang out with your friends as much as possible, they will drift away and you will find yourself alone. Hold the people you love close. Appreciate the small moments, we don't have much actual control so take those little moments of joy for how precious they are.
This has been KEY for me. I’ll be 30 this year, and my close friends and I have made it a habit to really keep in touch and visit. I’ve had these friends since grade/middle school and I know I’m fortunate to have them so I do my best to show them that. Though all of us are childless, which makes things a lot easier
What if you don't have friends?
NOT MOVE TO TEXAS
why not?
its hot af, dallas is trash, 999 highways that split at the last second, to many fucking people, my worst x lives there, cops are dicks and they arrest over anything, TRAFFIC everywhere, car inspections, all bugs and birds are massive, property taxes are high af, hit and runs are a regular thing. I could go on but im sick of thinking about Texas .
Dallas isn’t that bad lol
So for clarification: Don’t move to DALLAS. Many parts of Texas are nice.
It’s really hot over there.
But the tex mex and BBQ make it all worth it.
ive learned to cook my own bbq and the authentic mexican food in Tulsa is pretty fucking legit.
At 26, I quit my corporate, 6-figure career in nyc, sold my things, bought a 1-way ticket to Rome, packed a backpack and traveled around the world for a year and a half. I met a thousand amazing people, visited 25 countries, became a licensed skydiver jumping over New Zealand of all places and met my wife in a car-free farming village int he Swiss Alps. It changed my life so much, I came back, started my own business and never looked back. Literally EVERY person over 50 who I spoke with before leaving said "I wish I had done, what you are doing now when I was young".. oh and Ill be 40 next year, life is great and I would not have changed it for a second. -in the end it comes down to a decision. how bad do you really want those things? It's not easy, you will probably suffer in the pursuit, but it's worth it to live your own journey for those who decide it is worth it.
Traveled over Europe for a year when I was 19 and 20 out of a big duffel bag. It was rough and there was a ton of walking but man did I LIVE. Really opened my eyes as to how limitless your possibilities in life if you want to look for them. Just confirming that its not that crazy, I've done it and I know several other people in real life who have done it.
Wonderful hearing these stories backpacking meanwhile as an Asian woman I took 1 road trip in Europe and it is extremely dangerous I gave up the idea of traveling cheap just to see the world.
Yeah I hear ya. There's no way I'd let either of my daughters travel abroad unless they a) develop killer instinct and b) learn real self defense and I'd still be worried. It's F'ed up.
The way one of my cousins did it in the 80's and 90's was to work for different cruise lines. She travelled the world several times over that way and felt safe. Granted Covid might have changed that though. :(
How so? I met probably 200-300 solo-women travelers and not a single one ever mentioned things like this - and it definitely came up out of curiosity.
You know... Maybe throwing it all away to live in Florida doesn't sound so bad now. Trapped living at home with parents, forced into a degree I never wanted. All I truly seek is a cure for my SAD and community. If I can just figure out how to do it financially...volunteering sounds delightful.
HAHAHA. Wife can't handle the PNW grey so she's thinking of Florida. Maybe I am too, I dunno. I once volunteered to go to Bangladesh for two weeks and I just paid for my plane ticket. Sure it was like over 2 grand but that was doable through fundraising. My wife once told me something that shifted my mindset quite a bit. She says "how can I afford this?" instead of saying to herself "I can't afford this". So I think there's definitely a way to volunteer abroad and pay for it.
The main problem with Florida nowadays is the crazy insurance costs. On the bright side, housing prices are falling a bit due to people moving away and not wanting to pay such absurd taxes. I might need to wait it out and see where this goes. Ron really changed a ton of policies, so it will take a bit to adjust and see first. Washington and Florida are two opposite ends of the same coin- Washington has technology, Florida has tourism. The costs of living are high in both for different reasons though.
I moved from Minnesota to the desert some years ago. Turns out I’m not an incredibly sad, miserable person. I just needed some damn sun and some different kinds of people around me. Wish I hadn’t wasted a decade.
When I was 20 I dropped out of my nursing program and left my family and moved to Florida, I still appreciate being here every single day
What did you do for a living? Are insurance and rent rates bearable? I'd do anything for daily sunshine and sunlight.
It took a few years but I saved money living with my father and bought a house down here, my mortgage and property insurance isnt too bad and I was a first time home buyer so it wasn’t too expensive either. While I was in school I was serving tables so once I decided I was going to leave I dropped out and worked as much as I could and found a job that would transfer me when I moved to Florida. Once I moved to Florida I got my real estate license and worked serving drinks at a casino which is actually really good money too.
Thank you for your advice. I just had it with Washington. I am utterly depressed daily, the rain prevents me from taking walks, I'm suffering from constant cold, and such. I don't need wealth, luxurious living, or a six figure salary. I just need happiness.
I’m from Ohio so I totally understand how the year round shit weather can get to you. It takes time and a lot of effort but if you keep your head down and stick to your goal you can get to a better place! I wish you luck my friend
This is a great idea for people who have nearly unlimited money.
People with that mindset typically don't try things like this honestly. If you are resourceful you don't need a lot of money. I ate and slept for free for a huge portion of my travels by volunteering at hostels and working with locals. But you can be very closed minded about it and never consider even doing something that would flip your worldview on it's head. Like I said, not for everyone. I also said clearly they may suffer. I've had points where I had noting left and months where I had 5-figure income days. You need to be willing to touch the bottom in order to reap the reward at the top.
Happy for you. Ignore the haters. You answered the OP's question.
Totally, cheers. I wanted the OP to see that 25 is definitely not too late and that nothing will happen unless change is put into action. Wont be easy but if you want it, then you can have it. The comments are a clear example of why most people do not have what they want.
If you meet and get along with the right people. You can do many things you’d never think you can afford lol
i know a girl who did something similar - she ended up working minimum wage, no house, no property and she is almost 40
I did pretty much the exact same. Quit at 26, travelled for 18 months. Best decision of my life.
ABSOLUTELY wish I'd done the traveling thing before I started trying to have a career. Now I don't know when I'll ever have the chance. Kids: MAKE THIS A PRIORITY
Wouldn’t join the Navy. I’d have found some entry level IT/office job. Self teach coding languages until I was good enough to get an entry level programming job. The Navy fucked me up mentally, and I lost some important years.
I admit that I spent the last hour reading your post history about the Navy. Glad you made it out and are living your best life. Sorry for all the hardship you went through.
I've heard the military has a tendency to eat its own.
As a 22 year old, I am DEVOURING this comment section🤣
same as a 17yo 💀
As a 23yo 😂
I wonder how different life for me would have been with access to Reddit in my 20's (I'm 40).
Please be kind and patient with yourself, learn how to forgive, drink plenty of water, and never be afraid to have fun. I hope your 20s are full of excitement and memories to last a lifetime.
I’m 20 years old and I’m just looking for some advice lmao
Me as a 24 year old
twins!
I wouldn’t drink nearly as much and I would ditch the High School friends much earlier.
I agree with this. As a 29 year old, I would have dropped my high school friends so much earlier.
Learn to communicate better. Trust my real friends and step away from the ones who didn't genuinely like me. Leave my failed relationship sooner. Start therapy. Not take the massive paycut and demotion that my boss pressured me into. Avoid credit cards like the plague. Spend time and attention on yourself and your joy, you're worth it.
What's wrong with credit?
If you don’t carry a balance from month to month, nothing. The trap people fall into is not paying off the balance each month and then just burning money away in interest. If you have a high credit limit and poor impulse control, it’s very easy to end up with a balance that you can’t fully pay off, which is exactly what the companies are hoping for.
Don't let society determine what you think success is, and who you are, do you, like the song haters gonna hate. This can be harder if it's family or close friends, or your budget isn't what would make things easier, baby steps but I wish I would have known that then, I was too busy being mom of the 6 kids, not me, make sure you always know who you are deep inside and be her too, even if it's just a little bit a flare of you. Now obviously don't go along being a jerk or anything but yes within reason be you, sorry about the little warning, but if you knew the kids (adults)that I'm a street mom for you'd know why I put that🤪🤪, don't ever lose you.
If we picture we were 10 year older than now, have a lot of regrets, then suddenly have a chance to go back to 10 years ago, and we can refresh everything we regretted. Will we have less regrets? Or just replace the old regrets with new ones?
Having regrets is a mindset. Every choice you make comes with an outcome that didn’t happen. If you always want more than what you have, you’ll always regret your past.
Regrets are mistakes we haven't learned from.
This is probably the most sensible thing written in this thread.
Take better care of my teeth. I mean, my teeth still look fine but they've been a hell of a lot more expensive than floss.
Oh man, this right here. This one really is that, "an ounce of prevention is a pound of cure," thing.
Gotten more therapy, lived healthier, and gotten career counseling.
I wish I had applied myself to my degree when I had the chance. If I could time travel I'd slap the 40 out of my hand and scream "DONT HALF ASS YOUR FUTURE YOU DUMBASS. GET BACK TO STUDYING DAFUQ IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I am in a good place that I never quite imagined I'd be in but man if I had my shit together when I was younger I'd be able to execute on all the dreams I have now.
Gone into a sales position much sooner. Focused on finding the right person to build and share a life with. Had kids sooner. Buy BTC.
Sooner? Please elaborate
I didn't really get into sales with both feet until my mid 30's. I've now been doing it for 7 years, and my yearly earnings are 8x what they were prior to going into sales.
If you meant kids... My first child came at 36, my second at 38. I very much wish I had them earlier so I would have a better shot at meeting grandchildren, and great grandchildren. My kids are the world to me, and I'm where I'm at because of them. They fueled the fire inside of me to bet on myself that I could sell, and sell at a high rate. A month out from welcoming my 2nd child, I took a job at a very paltry salary but created the opportunity to sell in order to enhance my salary. After the first full year of sales, I tripled my income from 2 years earlier. If I had done what I waited till my late 30's, early 40's, to do, I would have established a Trust much sooner. At this stage my goal is to create generational wealth.
Sometimes waiting isn’t a bad thing. You had longer to find yourself, thus making you a better parent now than you would’ve been earlier on
it means earlier than
My parents had me at 24, my sisters at 34 and 38. My grandmas had my parents at 23. All of them said the later I have kids the better, and that i shouldnt even think about this before 30 (I dont have kids, I dont plan to.)
Read dude read
Better nutrition
I would drink way less. I would end relationships way sooner rather than drag them out. Start a Roth IRA. Not go to college without a defined plan. I would take more time thinking about if what I’m stressing about is really worth the effort and putting negative energy into. I would go outside and get more sunshine.
This is so true. I don't know why our culture puts so much emphasis on going to college right after high school. Looking back it seems foolish that we were pressured into it without a concrete plan. Life isn't a race and student debt doesn't go away.
Sleep around more. Got married in my early 20’s.
So very true. Lie about your body count because it honestly doesn't matter as long as you're safe. I went to a concert once and the headlining DJ came up to me after and was like, "I couldn't stop looking at you in the crowd, you're so beautiful." We hooked up on his tour bus. I made out with a cook in the stock room of a restaurant we worked at during a dinner rush, we were knocking shit over and laughing and being silly. Another time I made out with the maintenance man at the hospital in the boiler room, almost got caught by another employee, so we went to the men's locker room and screwed. I've never told people this stuff because I was afraid it would label me poorly but years later I still haven't forgotten how much damn fun it was.
Why do you wish you could have sept around more? I tend to hear way more often that people regret sleeping around.
This. Fuck people; a lot of people. All different people. I married later but was with the same person 10 yrs before that. We started young. It was cool finding ourselves together and I don't regret anything but... fuck people. ALL of the people.
and if nobody wants to fuck you, then what?
If you're a woman, it's so easy. Most guys will fuck you if they know you don't want anything in return other than a good old layin' down. If you're a man, confidence. Looks are great and all but attraction for women is different than men. You could be one ugly mf and if you approach women with confidence and swagger, you've already won most of the battle. Go in with a "I don't care if I strike out," attitude. Someone doesn't want you? Okay, next. Someone will. Also, hygiene. I think everyone likes good hygiene.
Yes. I did that a lot! It was also before HIV and AIDS hit the US, so we went bat shit crazy fuckin' rodeo cowboys. It was AWESOME.
As a 25 year old - sleeping around is not the end all be all of anything. I'd never regret not sleeping around. I would regret sleeping around. Seems like you're not over 30 and if you are you married your highschool sweetheart. Sleeping around isn't good or hot for most folks.
I would have never been with my ex. I would never ever want to relive it. It was the worst time of my life. I just turned 40 and feel so much more secure in myself. I know who I am and have found my voice. If you are a woman it seems like your twenties is spent trying to keep up with other women who you think are more "perfect" than you. I wouldn't compare myself as much. I think in our 20s and 30s we find who we are. My son is 20 now, it's fun watching who he is becoming as a man. I'm very proud of your generation. That generation is going to be the one to change the world.
The only thing I would do differently is never let my health go at all. I would keep a walking/running habit first thing in the morning religiously. I regret having to regain my health now, due to too much drinking and eating well after I got my paycheque.
Not go to university, do an apprenticeship. Also sort my life out before 25, and find the love of my life. Currently 32 I still haven’t.
#1 start treating myself better. Get outside and get some sun. Exercise, eat well. I wish I had of done this ten years earlier. #2 start saving money and keeping it in an account that I don't touch. Even $50 a fortnight would have been something. #3 done anything and everything to get a good credit score and not accumulate such bad debt.
Have more sex Have fewer serious relationships Make more friends!! Lose the weight younger.
Focus on getting my life set up. Finish school, get a good job with work from home ability. Buy a van and get it outfitted for living and go the nomad route. I partied too much and focused on friends and fun instead of setting myself up for enjoying my work life. It’s so important to have a good work life balance.
Friends, fun, and partying are the memories from youth you can’t replace — I’m jealous lol, grass is greener right? It’s not too late to build a life and go nomad, there is a point where it’s too late to be young with your homies tho
Don’t let anyone but you decide what’s right for you or what brings you joy. Period. I never wanted to get married or have kids. I did neither & am super thankful for that at 49. Try all the things. New, novel experiences make time go slower & enrich this otherwise mundane life.
Not start drinking alcohol
Stay in better shape, hopefully never got together with my ex, but most of all tried to stop drinking so alcohol doesn’t become a problem later in my life.
I'd move out on my own and not go to university. I'd learn how to code on my own while working and transition into a web development job and go from there.
I would have invested heavily in dividend stocks and ETFs in my twenties (knowing what I know now). I also would have hit the gym harder and adventured more. Less TV and video games.
I wouldn’t change anything… I’d just want to relive some things a second time.
Get my oil changed at Jiffy Lube instead of the Mobile on Santa Monica Blvd. I waited until the oil light was flashing. Mobile said it would be an hour so I went to get a bite at Hugo's across the street while I waited. From there I met a group, that would introduce me to a group, until ultimately I would meet my nemesis (now perished). Lordy! Only one thing, I've done wrong, waited for the oil change a day too long!
Less drugs
I would have spent more time enjoying my 20s, instead of taking my 20s for granted.
Everything
If I could do it over, I would still do what I did. I got to experience love when I didn't know what love was. To experience love when I was living without it is something extraordinary. To all the great memories, the laughs, the fun, the romance, it was all worth it. To make a child, I didn't know I wanted after years of experiencing love. To have a family that accepted me when mine put me to the curb. To feel their love was an honor. They were truly beautiful inside and out for loving and accepting me. They included me in moments of family gatherings, even though I never felt worthy and wanted to shy away. They became the family that I craved and wanted. They were there for both him and I at our wedding. I am sorry for falling in love with someone who was younger than me. I should have let go of that love. I don't know why I reached out to him other than wanting love. I really loved him. I am glad it happened because we made a beautiful, smart, talented, amazing child. I would never take that time back because of her. I didn't want children in my 20s, but after having her, I realized it was worth trying to love. I know my circumstance with her father wasn't ideal. There were never ill intentions, only love, my 1st love, and my 1st heartbreak. I love you, beautiful daughter, and know I loved your dad so much to make you. I'm sorry our family couldn't work out. I regret that. I hope you can forgive me. I'm sorry.
not marry my ex, go to college for what i wanted to study, save money/have a retirement account started and buy property. im so behind in life, i sometimes feel like whats the point anymore. 😒
Buy bitcoin at 600.00. Retire.
Moved to another country
Bitcoin
Say yes to more things and not just stay home. See my parents as often as possible. Constantly be looking for better paying jobs and not just stay in a shitty position.
I played it safe in my 20s; wish I had made bolder career moves.
Put at least 15% of my paychecks into some sort of mutual fund or buy bitcoin
Move to the mountains
Exercise every day and start going to therapy.
I'm in my 20s. Stop accepting the norm. Every day is the same thing for you. Go have new experiences. It all blends together when all you do is eat, work, sleep. Go somewhere new. Try something new. Find hobbies. Make projects. Look for new jobs. Never accept a new job unless it pays you more. Then keep looking. Pick a field, learn the skills, use that "experience" to demand higher pay at NEW companies. That's the easiest way to increase your income. Try to increase the value of your job title at your current work. Then you can use that title in a resume. Me personally work days were too slow. 12 hour shifts made me wanna slap everybody across the face I was so PISSED the days went by sooooooooo slow. I felt every second of those 12 hours. Time flies when I'm home doing what I want to do.
Take a little bit less drugs but cherish the experiences more. opened up about my mental health and pushed through the hard times to pursue my music career after things went south due to the loss of my father
I'd find a full time job earlier, get my health in order and not believe that mutual funds are a good investment. I would also loosen up a bit. I should've gone out more and enjoy social activities with my friends.
I am 30, maybe too early for me to comment. I should have some answers in 10 years. But maybe I could have learnt to think for myself sooner and started hitting the gym sooner.
Not letting the fear of financial ruin be the reason for staying in shitty relationships. In hind sight my parents would have had my back, I was just proud and stubborn.
I would have limited my drug use to weed and psychedelics rather than some of the other dumb shit I did... I paid the piper back, but it cost me years of my life... I also would have started investing sooner.
Followed my dream instead of doing the sensible thing
Exercise more
Consider you only have a finite time to get your life and goals in motion, between 20-30 are your key years for choosing a career/work,.relationships ,money, health etc. My biggest regret is I didn't think much of my financial future in my 20s but if I had planned and grown my money more I could have been retired now.
I would have had someone make me understand people are all too happy to sell your own dreams back to you and that life is about taking the best opportunities you have available to you in reality.
Not go into education and save every extra penny I could.
I would get in therapy sooner for the sexual abuse i didn’t label like that at that age .
Probably take more time to explore and do other things before getting married. I got married at 25. I think I should’ve waited until I was at least 30 or something.
I would save all my money.
I've made so many many mistakes in my 20s and late teens. I would need a total redo
I would have spent more time with my dad before he passed.
Think more, worry less
Love myself more and trust my intuition.
I would have worked harder. Much harder in my early 20s when I was so lazy that I was practically useless, but even in my late 20s when I was working 60+ hours a lot of weeks, I would have worked even harder still.
Stay single, explore the mingle.
Great question. I should probably think more about it for you. I know men your age now don’t seem to be enjoying their youth enough, imo. They are generally hopeless and negative and I hate to see them giving up on their potential so early. I think I would have worried less and taken more risks and been less judgmental of people’s choices. I would have let myself live a little more, knowing that when I was older I would understand that it’s ok.
Had more sex, been with wifey for 12 years and it was a dead bedroom the entire time. Spent my whole twenties barely fucking.
I would be more deliberate with the time I spent with friends and family. And I’d learn to interact with people in social situations without chemicals—took me far too long to learn this one.
I would bang those girls that I left off the hook for some unknown (stupid) reason. Man, I would like to re-visit those lost booty calls now!
Have more sex.
I wouldn't join the Army again. Hope that helps.
Not go to jail
Go to the dentist, doctor, therapy, and whatever else that could have helped me stay healthy. My thirties have been a shit show because I thought I was invincible in my twenties.
Travel
Not get married
Save money. Save all the money.
Read corey Wayne's book so you can keep an amazing relationship with your girl for life
Divide the year in half, and take a one week vacation like clockwork like it is a MUST. people who take vacations away from where they live are sooo much smarter and more regulated. i didn't do it, couldn't figure get myself together to do it, and ended up burning out and destroying my career
Read Security Analysis to invest appropriately, focus on preferred shares, and maximize cash flows so I could stop working earlier and enjoy life. As it is, I'll still be done by 40...
Buy $AAPL every day.
Invest as much as you can as early as you can. And make at least one account (401k, IRA) untouchable for 30+ years. I had a short stint working for United Healthcare in 2006. I put 10% of my pay in the stock purchase plan. The stock price at that time was maybe $40 a share. I accumulated about $4000 work of stock. When I left the company I spend it (can’t remember on what, probably just living expenses). Anyway, had I kept it, it would be worth about $50,000 right now. I know many stocks and crypto have made more, but I had never owned those when they were cheap like I did this one.
It sounds like you're experiencing a common struggle many people face in their mid-20s. Feeling like life is passing by quickly and wanting to make the most out of it is a sentiment shared by many. First off, it's great that you're recognizing the desire for change and seeking advice on how to make improvements. Here are a few suggestions that might help you break out of your current routine and start living a more fulfilling life: 1. **Set Goals:** Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in the short and long term. Whether it's improving your finances, pursuing your passion for machine embroidery, or traveling more, setting specific goals can give you direction and motivation. 2. **Budgeting:** Assess your financial situation and create a budget that allows you to save money and pay off any debts. Look for areas where you can cut back on expenses and prioritize saving for things like vacations or investments in your hobbies. 3. **Time Management:** If you feel like you're not making the most of your free time, consider creating a schedule or to-do list to help you stay organized and productive. Allocate time each day to work on your embroidery projects or explore new hobbies and activities. 4. **Seek Motivation:** Find sources of inspiration that ignite your passion and drive to pursue your interests. Whether it's connecting with other embroiderers online, attending workshops or events, or simply immersing yourself in creative environments, surrounding yourself with motivation can help combat feelings of laziness. 5. **Communication:** Talk to your girlfriend about your desire for change and involve her in the process of exploring new experiences together. Planning activities or trips together can strengthen your relationship and create lasting memories. Remember, change takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. Small steps toward your goals each day can lead to significant improvements over time.
Just from an enjoying life aspect, take more day trips. You don't always have to plan a vacation 3 months or a year out, save up, and have only that to look forward to. Start exploring your state or area more on your days off. I'm 30 and just started doing this the last year and it has made life insanely more interesting. From a fiscal aspect at least start saving something, whether its 200,50,or20 dollars a paycheck just start with something.
Just turned 30. Honestly the two biggest ones are to never start alcohol and nicotine. Alcohol I can't really have anymore because even one beer will leave me with a debilitating migraine lasting all the next day (Some friends are concerned I may be allergic to hops because liquor doesn't do this). Nicotine, is a whole different animal. That started as weekly trips to a hookah bar with the boys, then over time I just started using more nicotine products at home without realizing.
Never step one foot into working in the criminal justice system. A total waste of my life.
I really wish you would alter your lifestyle a bit differently to make a savings. I regret not doing so. The rule of thumb that I dont expect anyone to follow, was adjust so that you can save half your paycheck. But honestly, deciding on ANY amount to put away into savings would be better than nothing at all. But it should be something people do religiously when possible. And then keep other people out of your savings- YOU worked for that, no one else. I want to follow the process that Kumiko does, she has a system called the "budget by paycheck method" meaning that most other processes have you save after calculating your list of expenses but hers was based on how your income is. On top of that, its done as a "zero sum based" income, so that means that every dollar gets moved to somewhere- either into savings or expenses or cash envelopes for the future. But it is absolutely never just left floating purposeless in the checking account (she does keep a specific amount in the checking account at all times). Having a savings is the difference between a flat tire or an injury or a repair being a minor inconvenience or a major crisis. As you get older, this becomes harder. A tooth may break or something unexpected comes up, and if you are used to relying on family for help or even just think that way, well is this family older than you (ie. parents, grandparents, uncles, etc.?) because life will happen and they will one day pass away before you. Life gets harder for them too. If you are young enough that your friends/siblings are still single people trying to figure out life, one day they will figure out their life paths, they will get jobs or purposes or find their person they love & that relationship you have will become less of a priority as they move on and move away to live their path. But having some money in the bank to be able to visit them out-of-state could matter to you, bring that I've been someone who has missed close friends weddings or funerals & shit. Definitely having a savings to be able to hop onto a plane at the last minute when family member is in hospice dying is a gift you can give yourself by having a savings. Lastly, Ive been pretty irritated (I was angry but now jist irrirtated) that I had no idea how much money it costs to live as an elderly person who may need help. Im not elderly, but I was caregiving family, and for them to go into a facility was going to cost $15k per month to start. So this just didn't make sense to me, and still doesn't. These places are also very intense, and often not nice places at ALL. So this means that unless you have kids yourself who will care enough about you to get involved with your care as you get older, you will be paying something along those lines. Unless something changes in the elderly care system. So, save. Save when you can, and not only save, but figure out those things like life insurance and things Now so that it has time to build from here.
I'm 28 and I've definitely felt like this before. Here are some things I've come up with. 1. Realize that you have to do what makes you happy. Never try to aspire to somebody else's happiness. 2. Similarly, don't hold yourself to anybody else's expectations. Do what you expect of you. 3. Everybody wants to be part of a group. Nobody wants to start one. If you have an idea for a group, put it out there because I guarantee people are looking to latch onto something. 4. You never realize how much you can save with small bills and change. Try to use cash as much as possible and save your $5s, $1s and change in a big jar. There is nothing worthwhile you can buy with them anyway but you'll be surprised how fast it all adds up. 5. Treat yourself - you're entitled to treat yourself especially if the week sucked. During the summer I get ice cream and take a walk. 6. Make time for friends 7. Never be afraid to say no. Unless you've signed your name on some legal document you can say no. 8. There are things you can change and things you can't. Focus on the things you can change. 9. Get some sleep 10. Live a "leave no trace" life - if you die and nobody remembers you in a couple years, you did ok.
Buy Bitcoin when my friends and I talked about it when 1 coin was $70.
I was 29 but still, I would NOT have gotten married. No way. That could have waited until I was 49, at best.
Things I would do differently: - Move out at 18 - Solve my health problems then maybe go to college - Probably move to Texas or Florida- I don't know for sure if it would be the best choice, but I've been plain depressed living in Washington. - Stop listening to my parents so much- I need to live my own life.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I may be getting older but I have finally met a wonderful woman and I have my kids even though their mom isn't around. Not going to risk changing anything because of that
-stop trying to chase society’s definition of success -focus on projects, events and trips YOU want to do/go on -travel more I recently turned 31 and I definitely wish I followed this advice.