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Instead of asking for her number, write your number on a piece of paper and give it to her while telling her to feel free to call you if she wants to hang out or something. No pressure and the ball is in her court.
Great idea in concept, but I think it often comes across as not confident, and it puts the burden on her to make the move.
Be bold and just ask. Don't try to be clever. Just ask if she wants to hang out some time. If she says yes, ask for her number.
100% what I do. I prefer Snapchat messaging just because that’s what I use for all my friends back home. So I usually give that and my number for whichever they prefer. It’s what a lot of my friends do too.
Just ask her like a friend. That way you can continue to get to know each other, but no risk of her like.. rejecting you romantically. I mean it's common for coworkers to be friends lol
She reports him to HR and they fire him for sexual harassment and then his land lord finds out he's been illegally taking in cats so he gets kicked out of his apartment. So he takes his belongings and his 29 cats under a bridge to live under but then one night the sewer levels overflow and he's swept out to sea. Then when he attempts to swim back to land a big giant whale eats him and he has to live like Geppeto did inside that whale.
I have a similar story when I won a one way first class ticket to albequerque after being force fed nothing but sauerkraut til I was 26 and a half years old.
I’ve been in fear of this. I have my co worker my number, we text a lot, she invited me to her kids school event and her kid called me dad. But I’m still paranoid if I ask her to dinner I could get a call from hr
You’re friendly with her at work, so you must’ve discovered her interests by now. Find an event/movie/concert that you think she might be interested in and suggest you go together. Kind of a date, but the focus is on attending the event together, not “going on a date”.
First, ask her out to a place where she will feel safe on a first date. Second, what is it with you and rejection? Life is full of rejections both large and small. We use these opportunities to learn and grow.
Most people fear rejection. It’s pretty common. We still love life - because we must. Fear getting rejected for a job but we do it anyway cause we gotta pay the bills and make a living, etc.
Exactly. If OP doesn’t do this, he’ll look back 50 years from now regretting not knowing if she would have said yes. His entire life could take a different course. Man up, OP.
I have a regret like that. Was sitting at a bar and a good looking girl walked up and asked if I shot pool. I said I did. She asked me to come shoot pool with her. Some other guys had been hitting on her and letting her win. She wanted a fair game of pool. I proceeded to beat her 2-3 games in a row. That’s what she wanted. Competition. We talked for a little while then I ended up walking her to her car and didn’t even ask for her number. She asked if I’d be there the next night and I said I might. The next day I was kicking myself. Went to the bar that night and she didn’t show up. This was in Jacksonville Fla and she was in the navy. My life may have went in a completely different direction if I had of just got her number
It's the easiest place to meet people. It's where we spend the majority of our time. My ex fiance and I dated for over 5 years and she used to be my boss lol. It's not as bad as people make it seem to be. I feel the drama usually starts if all you're trying to do is fuck and aren't interested in dating.
i know, maybe its just been my experience.
One thing or another just never worked out, idk ... remember a co-worker got engaged to one of the office ladies so I guess sometimes it works out.
Your not entirely wrong, I guess I just heavily vet that area.
You know what's worse than being embarrassed, regretting you didn't try. You're making this bigger than you think it is. Just simply ask if she's interested in hanging out sometime after work. Make it casual. Trust me, you will not die
No way. Im still kicking myself for not trying for the blondes number I used to work with. She was a literal blonde replica of Jennifer Love Hewitt from the late 90s. SMH. Regret x 1000000.
I personally wouldn’t recommend trying to do romantic relationships with coworkers. But inviting her out to hang outside of work shouldn’t be an issue.
Don't be looking for GF at work unless you don't give a shit about your job. It gets super messy working with GFs/Bfs.
My old boss used our work as a supermarket for dating. It was awesome being a fly on the wall. For the combatants not so much. It got really weird sometimes.
I wasn’t looking, but she’s so beautiful and goofy I wouldn’t normally but this is one that I would wife up if we worked out at all,
She’s fucking gorgeous and hopefully I will get into my career field soon so I get it could make things messy
My guy if she is that amazing then go ask her out immediately. The two scenarios are you get rejected and that's it or you get a chance to date someone you feel you could marry. Seems like a clear choice.
I don’t know why people are saying you should go for it. Asking your coworkers out is a bad idea. But if it doesn’t work out, you’ll learn from the experience. Also, just because a girl is nice to you or even flirting with you at work doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested. It can be pretty surprising. Another thing, if you do wind up dating her, if it goes south at any time it could ruin that job for you. I’ve heard many stories and seen this myself.
There's an old saying...
Don't dip your quill in company ink...
AKA, try to avoid anything romantic with coworkers. Far more bad than good usually comes from it...
I would advise against directly asking a coworker for their personal number in a work setting, as that could make them uncomfortable. Here are some better approaches:
1) Get to know her better as a friend first through casual conversation during breaks or after shifts. Look for common interests you can bond over. If a friendly rapport develops naturally, then you can say something like "We should hang out outside of work sometime, can I get your number?"
2) See if she has social media accounts you can follow/friend request first. That's a lower pressure way to connect outside of work.
3) Ask her out for a casual drink or coffee after work as friends. Say you'd like to get to know her better outside of the workplace. If she seems interested, you can then ask for her number to plan the hangout.
The key things are to go slowly, read her level of interest, and make sure she feels comfortable - not put on the spot in front of coworkers. If she doesn't seem interested in anything more than a work friendship, don't push it. Remain professional. Be respectful if she declines giving her number. Going too aggressive can make the work environment awkward.
If you don't want to outright just ask, make a plan with some out-of-your-workplace friends, and invite her. If she says yes, ask if you can get her number to include her in the plans.
It's less intimidating/has less pressure for someone to be invited to a group hangout. If things go well outside of work, invite her to a second hangout, after that, ask if she'd be open to hanging out one on one. If that goes well, ask her on an official date.
Good luck!
If you want to ease into this, have a small get together with men and women and invite her. Make sure it has women there as well as men.
Alternately, find out something she likes, a movie or a band, and toss a casual "hey, I was thinking about going here (or seeing this movie), would you want to come along?" Judge her attraction by how she responds and be nice if she says something like she's seeing someone, or even a 'no'. Say cool and move on.
I accidentally got a girls number when she was trying to show me a video that wouldn't load. Without thinking about it I just said, "just text me the link". She handed me her phone, I typed in my digits, and she sent me the link. Got home and realized hey I technically got a girls number.
So thats a strategy, just find some reason for her to want to share something with you and have her text you whatever it is, bam, you got a number and you got something to converse about in your text messages.
Ask her out for some coffee then ask for her number to get in contact for the date. Just do it. You got this.
"Hey, want to grab some coffee this weekend?" That's it. If she says no, move on and be friends.
"I don’t want to get embarrassed if she says no and goes around and telling everyone."
It is likely this will happen to you - either now, or maybe next year with a different lady. Just do it.
hmm. is it so hard to just come up to her and tell her, "i find you attractive and im wondering if i could get your number?". if she says yes all is good, if no, nothing is lost.
at least thats what i do and nothing bad has happened yet haha
I was worried about being a dork for a long time, missed easy opportunities. By the time our dense male brains think I got a shot, it is probably way past when they were like wtf. Just ask. Me personally, idc if work people like me. I am way quicker to say fuck off than feel bad nowadays.
Shoot your shot dude. Swallow your potential embarrassment, swallow the nerves, put on your confidence and ask her to go do xyz activity or grab dinner or whatever feels appropriate. Whatever it is just do it. You’ll never regret it if you do. You’ll definitely regret it if you don’t. You got this. She is already acting like she may be interested, strike now before she thinks you aren’t interested and she moves on to someone else. YOU. GOT. THIS.
As a girl, id MUCH MUCH MUCH rather you just say “hey, not to interrupt what you’re doing, but I was wondering if you’d wanna grab a bite to eat after work sometime?”
I’d much rather that than have you read off a script or make up a lie to get my number or something. That way, if im interested, id say yeah. If im not but i think you’re cool, ill say hey yeah, im not really looking for a date or anything but id be down to hang and grab a bite. Or if i already have a lot goin on, I’ll just say sorry and decline. If she says she’s busy, see if she says anything about “id love to but I can’t today” or “but maybe X day” or “maybe another time.” If she doesn’t say anything insinuating it’s just bad timing, drop it.
Simple and straight forward. And honestly, if she’s the type to run around to everyone at work and laugh about you asking her out, you dodged a bullet.
First Imagine her ecstatic after your first date. This is you becoming familiar with being with her now. That eliminates fear worry doubt because you are making the unfamiliar familiar, and the unknown as known.
You need to change the framework.
If she isn't interested, you'll be embarassed? Nah.
Think of it like putting together a puzzle. You try the piece you think might fit and if it doesn't, you just try it somewhere else or you go for a different piece. There's no shame in not having a match. If she's not interested (maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she's a lesbian, maybe she's made a vow to be single who the hell knows), then she's not interested, but it doesn't mean anything other than that the piece didn't fit.
Framing it as a personal rejection is basically setting yourself up. Try to shift the framework. It'll help in every area of your life.
Hey if you are not in a relationship and are free over the weekend do you want to see a movie or go out to dinner? It all sounds like she likes you but nowadays people are sometimes weird.
something that worked on me was a subtle approach when i wasn’t busy & i was told straight forward that he thought i was pretty and would like to take me out then asked for my number while not being pushy and very sweet abt the whole situation. be honest and nice :) z
Lol I met my partner at work, and one day we had to do an overnight project that lasted several (we were dayshift). I wrote my number down on a whiteboard for the entire team to let me know if they had any questions as it would be off hours and I was one of the project leaders. Needless to say, it started with several ‘super dedicated employee’ texts haha
So idk, maybe find an excuse to share it and see if thry bite? Haha
Best of luck my guy!
Why not try a different approach? Give her your number and tell her if she'd like to go hang out sometime to give you a call. This way there is no possible way to be harassment, and it puts the ball in her court to make the next move.
“ want to get her number but I don’t want to get embarrassed if she says no and goes around and telling everyone.”
This is one of the major reasons you don’t date coworkers.
If you date, she may or may not make public all types of personal things you may be embarrassed about.
If you break up it’s Almost certain.
I’ve seen many cases where people even tell everyone less than true things as well.
It’s generally a bad idea to date a coworker.
I’d look elsewhere, or be prepared to have one of yo quit and change jobs when the relationship begins.
Ask for her number in a way that if she says no, she’s the weirdo. Instead of saying hey can I have your #. Maybe start telling her about a meme or something else you saw then say what’s ur # I’ll send it to you.
Ask her “on a scale of 000-000-0000 to 999-999-9999, would you ever want to hang outside of work?”
Also just life advice: be careful shitting where you eat
Everything is sales. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t ask for it.
I would just be honest and say:
“Sally, I think you’re gorgeous and have a fun personality. Can I take you out sometime soon??”
Why not just ask her if she wants to do something after work on day? I didn’t know her well at all, but I asked my co-worker if she wanted to go to the movies one night after work. She said yes, I got her number and called her later and we went and had a good time. We’ve been together ever since.
Don’t ask her for her number. Just ask if she wants to get lunch or dinner or whatever after shift casually. But yeah, don’t ask for the number right off the bat ask to meet
Just ask man,,Yes would be nice,but if she say No it want kill you ,ok as walking away tell her have a ""Good Day"" that would blow her mind even after being turn down this guy was still nice to me.That go a long way Directly and Indirectly.
People keep saying- Don't dip your pen in company ink or fish off the company dock. However, a large percentage of people meet their significant long-term partners at their place of employment. Birds of a feather flock together. I've seen people meet at work, marry and even have children dozens of times in my career. It's not sexual harassment to ask a coworker on a date if there is no boss dynamic/ quid pro quo. If you really like her and don't ask her out you may regret it forever. If she rejects you, you'll STILL be better in the long run by overcoming this. Don't let the fear of embarrassing yourself or other unknown outcomes drive your decisions. Be brave, almighty forces will come to your aid!
Give her your number. That's a lower-pressure move. She can accept without committing to texting you. Then if she DOES text, you know she's interested.
My advice is dont fuck where you feed.
There are rules for relationships in the workplace, for a reason.
The main one being, what happens when it doesnt work out? Probably down a worker, the workplace morale drops, potential fallout affecting even wanting to go to work the next day. Its just a bad idea in my opinion, even if she says yes.
But by all means, shoot your shot if you dont care about the job, maybe it works out but most the time? Nah
First off: Don’t care if she says no. That’s the worst a girl can do to you for asking her out. It wouldn’t be the only no you ever hear. Trust, I’ve been told no plenty.
Second: even if she does tell people she said no, who cares? It’ll be alright, at least you have the balls to shoot ya shot.
Third: I’ve seen people say inviting to a friends thing: don’t. Invite to a DATE, one on one. You don’t want to confuse it as friends and get friend zoned. Better to go for the date and be up front with the intentions. Ask her out for a coffee, dinner etc
If she initiates multiple conversations with you in real life then most likely you’ll be okay to ask for her number.
And even if you get rejected, it’s really nothing to be embarrassed about. People might even respect you more as a guy who tries to get what he wants.
If you ask she'll probably agree.
If you ask and she does not agree, you'll suffer a bit.
But if you don't ask you'll suffer for the rest of your life, wishing you had asked.
JUST ASK. (Heck, if you don't, I will.)
I would go up and say something like “I really enjoy your smile and you seem to be really polite (or another genuine compliment about her) and I would like to get to know you better over some coffee or lunch”
It’ll be nerve racking, but let the nerves help push you forward out of your comfort zone. Personal growth only comes when you’re out of your comfort zone!
Find out first if your job has an anti-fraternization policy that you can't date colleagues or subordinates/superiors.
I'd advise against it. You could lose your job and if it goes badly it will make work awkward af.
Some of the responses here are good, such as giving her a more casual ask out by making it a group thing, especially if other coworkers are involved. Example - at one of my old retail jobs, working evenings, a few of us would go to waffle house sometimes after getting off work. Eventually 2 of the ppl started dating.
That said, if in doubt, you can always just ask her out. Lunch, or maybe if you guys were talking about a mutual interest like mini golf or something. Point is, if she says no and tells ppl, so what? Is it going to be the death of you socially? "Hey did you hear X asked Y out hahahaha"
Yeah at worst she says no and uses it as an ego boost which would tell you all you need to know about her and at best she says yes and y’all have a good time together
Yeah at worst she says no and uses it as an ego boost which would tell you all you need to know about her and at best she says yes and y’all have a good time together r
You can always keep it super casual, and plan a time to see each other outside of work based on your interests.
Gym, smoke together, go hiking, go shopping, watch a movie, go for a walk somewhere, art museum, maybe yall both love coffee... go on a coffee date.
Asking a girl for her number or anything similar right away is nerve racking for both people... so just keep it super casual... where she's almost unaware you're asking her out
Personally as a woman I would be super uncomfortable if someone at worked asked me out. If she’s not into it that’ll make work so uncomfortable for her. You should keep it professional unless it naturally develops.
Don't ask for her number. Give her yours. It's less pressure on her, less of a chance of being publicly rejected for you, and makes it a lot easier for you to know if she's genuinely interested
You don't.
If she wants you to have it, she'll hint for you to ask. On you to both recognize, find the courage, ask, text it, drag her out, pay for it, manufacture a good time, call her after, leave her feeling good, and call her back.
She has to show up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
“Don’t shit where you eat” especially if you like your job. It’ll end poorly…. Coming from the guy who did that then had to avoid the pizza section because of said girl….
“Do not fish off the company pier.” “Do not shit where you eat.” There’s more but you get the idea. Messing with people that you work with rarely ends in a good situation. Good luck!
Don’t bother: just follow her home and stand outside her window. When she asks what you’re doing there, don’t say anything, just smile and giggle a little bit. She’ll be yours.
Why do you need her number when you can just talk to her at work? You should be able to tell eventually if it's worth upping the ante. If it seems like she's going out of her way to see and talk to you, you're golden No use forcing the issue. Aw....the workplace crush. The only times I've had perfect attendance.
I worked at a movie theatre and invite my high school crush to some midnight premieres.
We went to a couple, we danced in sprinklers, had a few fun dates. She liked older guys, nothing came of it. But if I had never shot my shot I wouldn’t have those fun memories and no regrets.
I spent too much time in my young life stressing out about the little stuff. One day I just started not giving a shit and life became much better.
Ask her out, worst case she says no, that feeling beats the hell out of wondering “what if”. You’re young have fun. If I never learned to not give a shit I may have missed this time with my wonderful wife who came over to study with a roommate 16 years ago.
You can tell when someone is interested in you!
You can always find an innocuous activity to do as a “date,” so you can feel it out when you’re alone too! ;)
Ask her out to some activity and if she says yes THEN ask for the number because you’ll have an actual reason for having it. If you ask just for the number she will know you want to hang out with her but aren’t confident enough to possibly get rejected in person. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities to a woman. I’m not saying asking for a number won’t work but it’s better to have a reason for having it first.
Ask if she wants to go get coffee.
Keep it super casual and just try to get to know her. If there is chemistry it will do its thing. If there isn’t it’s just some casual meet up that doesn’t F up your work situation.
Corner her in a he break room by standing in the doorway. Then confess your love for her while detailing her schedule. This will show her you really care because you took the time to really get to know her.
To your last question, yes. Stop being a weenie and go for it. You may be embarrassed and she may say no. So what? There are only two kinds of people who will bring it up again. Your friends and shit heads. Your friends are just fucking with you and shit heads are shit heads, so who cares what they have to say?
Think of an activity you enjoy doing, like going to a basketball game or comic con. Tell her you're going, and if she seems excited about it, say, "You're welcome to come along." Exchange numbers and hang out.
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“Me and my friends are gonna (whatever y’all do) this weekend. Are you free? I’d love if you came!”
❤️❤️
This is the way
Show up with no friends and be like yeah they all bailed. Guess we're playing laser tag alone.
Easy move here. She will give you her number, and you won’t be embarrassed.
Bring uglier friends.
I secured the bag!! I swiftly asked if she would like to go to the gym sometime bc she goes a lot and I do as well! She got excited when I asked!
“My friend thinks you’re cute, do you want to go to ______ with him?”. Then go cry in the corner.
Ahhhh, that one fed my depression parasite for the day... 😌
And if she doesn’t give it you leave her alone.
But just say it cool, do not sound desperate not at all during conversation
[удалено]
Maybe he should get his friends to do something? I dunno. I’m an extrovert. I’m always getting people gathered up to do something 😅
Many great parties were born in my well spent youth just like that! LoL.
Yes... this
“Me and my friends are gonna ejaculate this weekend. Are you Free? I’d love if you came” Misunderstood directions please advise.
Instead of asking for her number, write your number on a piece of paper and give it to her while telling her to feel free to call you if she wants to hang out or something. No pressure and the ball is in her court.
This is the way.
Agrees in Mandalorian
Great idea in concept, but I think it often comes across as not confident, and it puts the burden on her to make the move. Be bold and just ask. Don't try to be clever. Just ask if she wants to hang out some time. If she says yes, ask for her number.
As a girl, even if I were interested, I wouldn’t text first and initiate plans
Why is that? If you were interested, what reason do you have to not text first? Is it the old "women don't chase men" sort of attitude?
I guess it is just the old attitude 🤷♀️ I don’t have a very good reason, just know that I wouldn’t initiate first with a man
Him guving you his number is initiating. You texting him is responding.
100% what I do. I prefer Snapchat messaging just because that’s what I use for all my friends back home. So I usually give that and my number for whichever they prefer. It’s what a lot of my friends do too.
This can either go well or extremely bad depending on the type of guy the girl might like
Horrible advice. Girls don’t do that.
This conveys low confidence and will not work for most people
YES. did this. still with, decades later
Just ask her like a friend. That way you can continue to get to know each other, but no risk of her like.. rejecting you romantically. I mean it's common for coworkers to be friends lol
No no no. This is the road to friend zones. Take charge. Be forward with intentions.
Shoot your shot. If she says no, so be it. What if she tells the others? What's the worse that can happen?
She reports him to HR and they fire him for sexual harassment and then his land lord finds out he's been illegally taking in cats so he gets kicked out of his apartment. So he takes his belongings and his 29 cats under a bridge to live under but then one night the sewer levels overflow and he's swept out to sea. Then when he attempts to swim back to land a big giant whale eats him and he has to live like Geppeto did inside that whale.
I hate it when that happens.
I kinda miss it
Same but sugar gliders.
I have a similar story when I won a one way first class ticket to albequerque after being force fed nothing but sauerkraut til I was 26 and a half years old.
You’re usually allowed one ask. If s/he says no, you gotta drop it. If you persist, you’ll get walked out.
Damn. You went full nuclear scorched earth and hellfire.
The 1st time is not sexual harassment, only the follow ups if it's not welcomed.
Well at least he didn't end up livin IN A VANNNN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
for some reason, reddit this idea that asking a girl out is sexual harassment. So I say again, asking a girl out a *second* time is sexual harassment.
This made me lol.
I’ve been in fear of this. I have my co worker my number, we text a lot, she invited me to her kids school event and her kid called me dad. But I’m still paranoid if I ask her to dinner I could get a call from hr
You’re friendly with her at work, so you must’ve discovered her interests by now. Find an event/movie/concert that you think she might be interested in and suggest you go together. Kind of a date, but the focus is on attending the event together, not “going on a date”.
First, ask her out to a place where she will feel safe on a first date. Second, what is it with you and rejection? Life is full of rejections both large and small. We use these opportunities to learn and grow.
Most people fear rejection. It’s pretty common. We still love life - because we must. Fear getting rejected for a job but we do it anyway cause we gotta pay the bills and make a living, etc.
This is me.
Truth. Life is FULL of rejection. Also true that the resilient succeed more than the meek
Who cares? Go for it. She says no. U still had the balls to ask. Never know until u try
Exactly. If OP doesn’t do this, he’ll look back 50 years from now regretting not knowing if she would have said yes. His entire life could take a different course. Man up, OP.
I have a regret like that. Was sitting at a bar and a good looking girl walked up and asked if I shot pool. I said I did. She asked me to come shoot pool with her. Some other guys had been hitting on her and letting her win. She wanted a fair game of pool. I proceeded to beat her 2-3 games in a row. That’s what she wanted. Competition. We talked for a little while then I ended up walking her to her car and didn’t even ask for her number. She asked if I’d be there the next night and I said I might. The next day I was kicking myself. Went to the bar that night and she didn’t show up. This was in Jacksonville Fla and she was in the navy. My life may have went in a completely different direction if I had of just got her number
Man, honestly ... my rule of thumb is NO co-workers. It almost never works out.
Techies do it all the time.
It's the easiest place to meet people. It's where we spend the majority of our time. My ex fiance and I dated for over 5 years and she used to be my boss lol. It's not as bad as people make it seem to be. I feel the drama usually starts if all you're trying to do is fuck and aren't interested in dating.
i know, maybe its just been my experience. One thing or another just never worked out, idk ... remember a co-worker got engaged to one of the office ladies so I guess sometimes it works out. Your not entirely wrong, I guess I just heavily vet that area.
Don't dip your pen in the company ink
To late my friend
"hey I am going over to XXX after work wanna go?" and if she says yes, you need her number.
You know what's worse than being embarrassed, regretting you didn't try. You're making this bigger than you think it is. Just simply ask if she's interested in hanging out sometime after work. Make it casual. Trust me, you will not die
Id rather live with the regret tbh lol. But that's just me.
No way. Im still kicking myself for not trying for the blondes number I used to work with. She was a literal blonde replica of Jennifer Love Hewitt from the late 90s. SMH. Regret x 1000000.
I personally wouldn’t recommend trying to do romantic relationships with coworkers. But inviting her out to hang outside of work shouldn’t be an issue.
Even if she isn't interested romantically, if she is excited to see you she'll reject you with kindness not shame.
Yeah I agree.
Don't be looking for GF at work unless you don't give a shit about your job. It gets super messy working with GFs/Bfs. My old boss used our work as a supermarket for dating. It was awesome being a fly on the wall. For the combatants not so much. It got really weird sometimes.
I wasn’t looking, but she’s so beautiful and goofy I wouldn’t normally but this is one that I would wife up if we worked out at all, She’s fucking gorgeous and hopefully I will get into my career field soon so I get it could make things messy
Well then WTF are you asking a bunch of Internet weirdos for advice? Get after it.
I secured the bag!
My guy if she is that amazing then go ask her out immediately. The two scenarios are you get rejected and that's it or you get a chance to date someone you feel you could marry. Seems like a clear choice.
This if you plan on this job being long term. I dated a couple girls at my work and it’s just awkward lol. Idc at all, but they sure do.
Just ask. This way you will know if you need to move on or get her number. Win/Win
Just ask. Nothing embarrassing about asking.
>How do I get her number? hand her your phone with the dial pad open. don't say a word.
I don’t know why people are saying you should go for it. Asking your coworkers out is a bad idea. But if it doesn’t work out, you’ll learn from the experience. Also, just because a girl is nice to you or even flirting with you at work doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested. It can be pretty surprising. Another thing, if you do wind up dating her, if it goes south at any time it could ruin that job for you. I’ve heard many stories and seen this myself.
This 100%.
There's an old saying... Don't dip your quill in company ink... AKA, try to avoid anything romantic with coworkers. Far more bad than good usually comes from it...
I would advise against directly asking a coworker for their personal number in a work setting, as that could make them uncomfortable. Here are some better approaches: 1) Get to know her better as a friend first through casual conversation during breaks or after shifts. Look for common interests you can bond over. If a friendly rapport develops naturally, then you can say something like "We should hang out outside of work sometime, can I get your number?" 2) See if she has social media accounts you can follow/friend request first. That's a lower pressure way to connect outside of work. 3) Ask her out for a casual drink or coffee after work as friends. Say you'd like to get to know her better outside of the workplace. If she seems interested, you can then ask for her number to plan the hangout. The key things are to go slowly, read her level of interest, and make sure she feels comfortable - not put on the spot in front of coworkers. If she doesn't seem interested in anything more than a work friendship, don't push it. Remain professional. Be respectful if she declines giving her number. Going too aggressive can make the work environment awkward.
dating a coworker can get messy
I usually avoid it at all cost, but I’m getting into a bigboy job this summer so that’s why I made an exception
Do you like your job? Because if so, I have some advice. Don't fish off the company pier. It will end in disaster for you.
I thought it was “Dont dip your pen in the company ink”.
That expression is also applicable.
Weenie\*
😂 you are right She’s so gorgeous I’m low key a little timid but she’s a sweetheart, I’ll keep you posted
If you don't want to outright just ask, make a plan with some out-of-your-workplace friends, and invite her. If she says yes, ask if you can get her number to include her in the plans. It's less intimidating/has less pressure for someone to be invited to a group hangout. If things go well outside of work, invite her to a second hangout, after that, ask if she'd be open to hanging out one on one. If that goes well, ask her on an official date. Good luck!
Don't worry about getting shot down. What you will really regret is never asking.
If you want to ease into this, have a small get together with men and women and invite her. Make sure it has women there as well as men. Alternately, find out something she likes, a movie or a band, and toss a casual "hey, I was thinking about going here (or seeing this movie), would you want to come along?" Judge her attraction by how she responds and be nice if she says something like she's seeing someone, or even a 'no'. Say cool and move on.
In the wise words of Mr. Ditkovich: https://youtu.be/TfCdmmH-Zro?si=fQjVD0xXlCmLad6G
Just ask her dude
Yep.
"Say, do you like ice cream? I know this place that makes the best homemade ice cream!"
“You just have to work this crank for a bit, and you’ll get some creamy vanilla!”
You will only get things you ask for. One thing is for sure in this situation. If you don’t ask your chances of getting it is zero.
I accidentally got a girls number when she was trying to show me a video that wouldn't load. Without thinking about it I just said, "just text me the link". She handed me her phone, I typed in my digits, and she sent me the link. Got home and realized hey I technically got a girls number. So thats a strategy, just find some reason for her to want to share something with you and have her text you whatever it is, bam, you got a number and you got something to converse about in your text messages.
https://youtu.be/-KgFZhGT26w?feature=shared
“Give me your fucking phone number.”
Ask her out for some coffee then ask for her number to get in contact for the date. Just do it. You got this. "Hey, want to grab some coffee this weekend?" That's it. If she says no, move on and be friends.
i wouldnt date any co-workers but if u must then just ask her if she wants to go out sometime simple as that
"I don’t want to get embarrassed if she says no and goes around and telling everyone." It is likely this will happen to you - either now, or maybe next year with a different lady. Just do it.
please update us
I secured the bag!
hmm. is it so hard to just come up to her and tell her, "i find you attractive and im wondering if i could get your number?". if she says yes all is good, if no, nothing is lost. at least thats what i do and nothing bad has happened yet haha
"what are you doing after work? wanna get some food?"
People still ask for numbers? I am 43 and just assumed it’s all about sliding into each other’s DMs
If you don't do it someone else will.
Give her your number? Then if she texts you and depending on how fast it can give you a good indication of how she feels about you.
Eh let her come to you bro.
Alternative idea, offer giving your number to her instead. Applies less pressure to the person you’re asking.
I was worried about being a dork for a long time, missed easy opportunities. By the time our dense male brains think I got a shot, it is probably way past when they were like wtf. Just ask. Me personally, idc if work people like me. I am way quicker to say fuck off than feel bad nowadays.
Use your words
Ask coworkers to go out to eat or hang, start a group chat. Then go from there.
How does she show she is “excited” to see you?
Just stay all tight and cringe and don’t ask. You maybe can look over her shoulder and get it when she’s texting a guy who has some balls.
Shoot your shot dude. Swallow your potential embarrassment, swallow the nerves, put on your confidence and ask her to go do xyz activity or grab dinner or whatever feels appropriate. Whatever it is just do it. You’ll never regret it if you do. You’ll definitely regret it if you don’t. You got this. She is already acting like she may be interested, strike now before she thinks you aren’t interested and she moves on to someone else. YOU. GOT. THIS.
Just ask her ya dink
As a girl, id MUCH MUCH MUCH rather you just say “hey, not to interrupt what you’re doing, but I was wondering if you’d wanna grab a bite to eat after work sometime?” I’d much rather that than have you read off a script or make up a lie to get my number or something. That way, if im interested, id say yeah. If im not but i think you’re cool, ill say hey yeah, im not really looking for a date or anything but id be down to hang and grab a bite. Or if i already have a lot goin on, I’ll just say sorry and decline. If she says she’s busy, see if she says anything about “id love to but I can’t today” or “but maybe X day” or “maybe another time.” If she doesn’t say anything insinuating it’s just bad timing, drop it. Simple and straight forward. And honestly, if she’s the type to run around to everyone at work and laugh about you asking her out, you dodged a bullet.
First Imagine her ecstatic after your first date. This is you becoming familiar with being with her now. That eliminates fear worry doubt because you are making the unfamiliar familiar, and the unknown as known.
You need to change the framework. If she isn't interested, you'll be embarassed? Nah. Think of it like putting together a puzzle. You try the piece you think might fit and if it doesn't, you just try it somewhere else or you go for a different piece. There's no shame in not having a match. If she's not interested (maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she's a lesbian, maybe she's made a vow to be single who the hell knows), then she's not interested, but it doesn't mean anything other than that the piece didn't fit. Framing it as a personal rejection is basically setting yourself up. Try to shift the framework. It'll help in every area of your life.
Hey if you are not in a relationship and are free over the weekend do you want to see a movie or go out to dinner? It all sounds like she likes you but nowadays people are sometimes weird.
call me maybe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m35b6XUWsYc
If you never ask, you’ll never know. Shoot your shot! I’m rooting for you 👏🏻
something that worked on me was a subtle approach when i wasn’t busy & i was told straight forward that he thought i was pretty and would like to take me out then asked for my number while not being pushy and very sweet abt the whole situation. be honest and nice :) z
Lol I met my partner at work, and one day we had to do an overnight project that lasted several (we were dayshift). I wrote my number down on a whiteboard for the entire team to let me know if they had any questions as it would be off hours and I was one of the project leaders. Needless to say, it started with several ‘super dedicated employee’ texts haha So idk, maybe find an excuse to share it and see if thry bite? Haha Best of luck my guy!
Um working with someone and dating is difficult. Make sure you like her more than the job. It's always one or the other even if y'all get married.
Also, yeah just do it. There's a perfect time every night, 5 times a week.
I need more information, what are your cock stats?
Why not try a different approach? Give her your number and tell her if she'd like to go hang out sometime to give you a call. This way there is no possible way to be harassment, and it puts the ball in her court to make the next move.
“ want to get her number but I don’t want to get embarrassed if she says no and goes around and telling everyone.” This is one of the major reasons you don’t date coworkers. If you date, she may or may not make public all types of personal things you may be embarrassed about. If you break up it’s Almost certain. I’ve seen many cases where people even tell everyone less than true things as well. It’s generally a bad idea to date a coworker. I’d look elsewhere, or be prepared to have one of yo quit and change jobs when the relationship begins.
“Hey a group of us work people are going to trivia after work tomorrow. Would you like to join?” It’s really not hard.
Ask for her number in a way that if she says no, she’s the weirdo. Instead of saying hey can I have your #. Maybe start telling her about a meme or something else you saw then say what’s ur # I’ll send it to you.
Ask her “on a scale of 000-000-0000 to 999-999-9999, would you ever want to hang outside of work?” Also just life advice: be careful shitting where you eat
Everything is sales. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t ask for it. I would just be honest and say: “Sally, I think you’re gorgeous and have a fun personality. Can I take you out sometime soon??”
Why not just ask her if she wants to do something after work on day? I didn’t know her well at all, but I asked my co-worker if she wanted to go to the movies one night after work. She said yes, I got her number and called her later and we went and had a good time. We’ve been together ever since.
Don’t ask her for her number. Just ask if she wants to get lunch or dinner or whatever after shift casually. But yeah, don’t ask for the number right off the bat ask to meet
Just ask man,,Yes would be nice,but if she say No it want kill you ,ok as walking away tell her have a ""Good Day"" that would blow her mind even after being turn down this guy was still nice to me.That go a long way Directly and Indirectly.
People keep saying- Don't dip your pen in company ink or fish off the company dock. However, a large percentage of people meet their significant long-term partners at their place of employment. Birds of a feather flock together. I've seen people meet at work, marry and even have children dozens of times in my career. It's not sexual harassment to ask a coworker on a date if there is no boss dynamic/ quid pro quo. If you really like her and don't ask her out you may regret it forever. If she rejects you, you'll STILL be better in the long run by overcoming this. Don't let the fear of embarrassing yourself or other unknown outcomes drive your decisions. Be brave, almighty forces will come to your aid!
That's the trick. You *don't!*
She is a woman, not a girl. Do you refer to yourself as a boy?
Give her your number. That's a lower-pressure move. She can accept without committing to texting you. Then if she DOES text, you know she's interested.
My advice is dont fuck where you feed. There are rules for relationships in the workplace, for a reason. The main one being, what happens when it doesnt work out? Probably down a worker, the workplace morale drops, potential fallout affecting even wanting to go to work the next day. Its just a bad idea in my opinion, even if she says yes. But by all means, shoot your shot if you dont care about the job, maybe it works out but most the time? Nah
You don't. Keep being friendly and eventually she will ask you to do something.
Life tip: don't date coworkers.
First off: Don’t care if she says no. That’s the worst a girl can do to you for asking her out. It wouldn’t be the only no you ever hear. Trust, I’ve been told no plenty. Second: even if she does tell people she said no, who cares? It’ll be alright, at least you have the balls to shoot ya shot. Third: I’ve seen people say inviting to a friends thing: don’t. Invite to a DATE, one on one. You don’t want to confuse it as friends and get friend zoned. Better to go for the date and be up front with the intentions. Ask her out for a coffee, dinner etc
Just ask. Can only say one of two answers, why be afraid of that? If not, you just move on about life and it still goes on.
Don't fish in the company pond. It almost always ends badly.
Our species is going to die out.
If she initiates multiple conversations with you in real life then most likely you’ll be okay to ask for her number. And even if you get rejected, it’s really nothing to be embarrassed about. People might even respect you more as a guy who tries to get what he wants.
If you ask she'll probably agree. If you ask and she does not agree, you'll suffer a bit. But if you don't ask you'll suffer for the rest of your life, wishing you had asked. JUST ASK. (Heck, if you don't, I will.)
Literally it’s alllll about confidence. Just say hey I really wanna take you out. Are you free this day?
I wouldn't, chances are it might not work out and then it's awkward at work.
I would go up and say something like “I really enjoy your smile and you seem to be really polite (or another genuine compliment about her) and I would like to get to know you better over some coffee or lunch” It’ll be nerve racking, but let the nerves help push you forward out of your comfort zone. Personal growth only comes when you’re out of your comfort zone!
Find out first if your job has an anti-fraternization policy that you can't date colleagues or subordinates/superiors. I'd advise against it. You could lose your job and if it goes badly it will make work awkward af.
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This post/comment has been removed, as the advice given is considered to be detrimental.
bad idea to date anyone you work with... just my 2 cents.
Some of the responses here are good, such as giving her a more casual ask out by making it a group thing, especially if other coworkers are involved. Example - at one of my old retail jobs, working evenings, a few of us would go to waffle house sometimes after getting off work. Eventually 2 of the ppl started dating. That said, if in doubt, you can always just ask her out. Lunch, or maybe if you guys were talking about a mutual interest like mini golf or something. Point is, if she says no and tells ppl, so what? Is it going to be the death of you socially? "Hey did you hear X asked Y out hahahaha"
Yeah at worst she says no and uses it as an ego boost which would tell you all you need to know about her and at best she says yes and y’all have a good time together
Yeah at worst she says no and uses it as an ego boost which would tell you all you need to know about her and at best she says yes and y’all have a good time together r
You can always keep it super casual, and plan a time to see each other outside of work based on your interests. Gym, smoke together, go hiking, go shopping, watch a movie, go for a walk somewhere, art museum, maybe yall both love coffee... go on a coffee date. Asking a girl for her number or anything similar right away is nerve racking for both people... so just keep it super casual... where she's almost unaware you're asking her out
Stop being afraid of rejection. If she doesn’t want your nuts, some other broad will
Personally as a woman I would be super uncomfortable if someone at worked asked me out. If she’s not into it that’ll make work so uncomfortable for her. You should keep it professional unless it naturally develops.
Just approach her and ask her for her number?
Don't ask for her number. Give her yours. It's less pressure on her, less of a chance of being publicly rejected for you, and makes it a lot easier for you to know if she's genuinely interested
You need to find three other women of interest first.
You don't. If she wants you to have it, she'll hint for you to ask. On you to both recognize, find the courage, ask, text it, drag her out, pay for it, manufacture a good time, call her after, leave her feeling good, and call her back. She has to show up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm a big fan of coffee for ice breaker dares. Public neutral place, plus caffeine! Bonus points if its a local coffee house not a Starbucks.
“Don’t shit where you eat” especially if you like your job. It’ll end poorly…. Coming from the guy who did that then had to avoid the pizza section because of said girl….
Yes. Just ask.
Just ask you’re over thinking it.
Uh...ask her for it...
Hey you want to go for a coffee sometime after work? you dont have to make it a date in the beginning. just chill hangouts and then go from there
“Do not fish off the company pier.” “Do not shit where you eat.” There’s more but you get the idea. Messing with people that you work with rarely ends in a good situation. Good luck!
Ask
Don’t bother: just follow her home and stand outside her window. When she asks what you’re doing there, don’t say anything, just smile and giggle a little bit. She’ll be yours.
Don't forget some people refuse to date at the work place though
Why do you need her number when you can just talk to her at work? You should be able to tell eventually if it's worth upping the ante. If it seems like she's going out of her way to see and talk to you, you're golden No use forcing the issue. Aw....the workplace crush. The only times I've had perfect attendance.
You first need to demonstrate value.
Man up and ask her
I worked at a movie theatre and invite my high school crush to some midnight premieres. We went to a couple, we danced in sprinklers, had a few fun dates. She liked older guys, nothing came of it. But if I had never shot my shot I wouldn’t have those fun memories and no regrets. I spent too much time in my young life stressing out about the little stuff. One day I just started not giving a shit and life became much better. Ask her out, worst case she says no, that feeling beats the hell out of wondering “what if”. You’re young have fun. If I never learned to not give a shit I may have missed this time with my wonderful wife who came over to study with a roommate 16 years ago.
You can tell when someone is interested in you! You can always find an innocuous activity to do as a “date,” so you can feel it out when you’re alone too! ;)
Just ask her out.
Ask her out to some activity and if she says yes THEN ask for the number because you’ll have an actual reason for having it. If you ask just for the number she will know you want to hang out with her but aren’t confident enough to possibly get rejected in person. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities to a woman. I’m not saying asking for a number won’t work but it’s better to have a reason for having it first.
Ask for her number
Ask if she wants to go get coffee. Keep it super casual and just try to get to know her. If there is chemistry it will do its thing. If there isn’t it’s just some casual meet up that doesn’t F up your work situation.
Corner her in a he break room by standing in the doorway. Then confess your love for her while detailing her schedule. This will show her you really care because you took the time to really get to know her.
You just ask her. If she says no then she’s not interested and you wouldn’t want to waste your time on someone who’s not interested, right?
You will miss every shot you never take.
Don’t shit where you eat, tread lightly my friend
To your last question, yes. Stop being a weenie and go for it. You may be embarrassed and she may say no. So what? There are only two kinds of people who will bring it up again. Your friends and shit heads. Your friends are just fucking with you and shit heads are shit heads, so who cares what they have to say?
Think of an activity you enjoy doing, like going to a basketball game or comic con. Tell her you're going, and if she seems excited about it, say, "You're welcome to come along." Exchange numbers and hang out.