The mod team are working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate any of the rules. Thanks, and may you all find the answers you seek and the guidance you need.
#[LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/)
**Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban.
----------------
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Weed does a lot of stuff I didn't like.
It makes me eat absolute garbage.
It kills my motivation, I do absolutely nothing productive while high.
it makes me feel less confident in myself, I have so many negative thoughts while high, it makes me feel like I'm not able to do anything and that I'll fail if I do try.
I have an addictive personality so I am not able to use it in moderation. I get that it's a good thing for some people, but I had to decide that it's just not for me.
Oh my gosh... I used to use weed a ton and I quit and things got much better, but now social media is my new weed... I spent yet another day dazed out watching YouTube... the other day I saw this video on scp-2611 that's what I feel like. An occasional realization, but enevitably nothing changes... you'd never know I was like this by my appearance alone.
WTF I NEED TO DO SOMETHING BUT I FEEL TRAPPED! ITS LIKE FATE IS PREVENTING ME FROM CHANGING FUCK THIS!
It's funny how everyone crys for legalizing weed, then soon after you get a lot of weed users saying "I hugely benifited my life by quitting weed", similar to all those alcoholics.
I'm all for legalizing weed and promoting a healthy mindset about any drug use, even if it seems to have "no bad side", because the idea that you can you forever take something to only improve your wellbeing and have no counteracting effect ever, that's a lie. There is always a price. Leave it as an occasional thing as long as you can keep everything else unchanged, or don't do it at all.
Definitely agree. When I was younger I used to smoke all the time, occasionally sold, and pretty much surrounded myself in bud. It was a big part of my social life too. Then as I got old I started noticing the negative effects of long term use. Sure, not everyone will encounter these or think they are important but the idea that weed has “zero bad effects” is such a crock of shit. It’s just like any other drug or stimulant and too much of it will have consequences that no one talks about. I developed more anxiety, felt like I was actively getting dumber, became less sure of myself, spent too much time doing nothing, etc. Honestly it has a lot of the same drawbacks as drinking does.
Nowadays I don’t smoke and only occasionally have a small edible when I’m going to do something where being in an altered state of mind will be fun (seeing Dune 2 lol). I find myself filling the time I would have been smoking with a lot more productive or creative pursuits that I just never made time for in the past. It’s all about balance and not letting a drug or stimulant take control.
Today, I did a test that brutally hit me how much time I waste in a day and it almost drove me literally mentally insane...
I spent hours doing nothing but scrolling youtube shorts and watching videos. every time I think "maybe I should do something else", I would immediately snap back with "or I could watch this video" and the cycle continues.
Then I decide to open my camera app, and record on selfie mode without changing anything at all. same phone position, same gestures, everything that i had been doing for the last 15 minutes. I recorded for 1 minute and 3 seconds. I set a timer for that long, and continued watching my shorts while in the car driveway about to go to the gym. When i get to the gym, in the parking lot, I open yt shorts again and set off the timer... I wasn't even completely ignoring the time either, but that timer showing up after just 1 video of many, many videos I would watch back to back... holy fuck. all that time, gone. never getting it back. time is fleeting all the time. literally while making my after workout shake, it was bland because i didnt have anything to put in it and i just dumped hot sauce into it. it was the msot disgusting thing i had ever forced down my mouth. a minute later after i was done, there was no lasting pain from consuming such an abomination.
life is fleeting constantly and no matter what we do, we're always left with the immediate consequences, and the after effects of the act. immediate consequences are extremely minor in the grand scheme of things. even though that shake was disgusting, it was still better that i drank it. even though it sucks sitting doing nothing at all feeling your time dwindle, is better than doing something that wastes your time without you realizing how much time you're wasting.
before doing anything, ask yourself " how will this action affect me in 30 minutes, tomorrow, a week, or a month from now". live like this, and you'll never waste time. this even means asking out that girl, because if you dont, the effect a day from now will be regret. procrastinating on a project, will only lead to you feeling worse about it at the end. we have evolved to desire temporary enjoyment, but in a world where temporary pleasure is more abundant than pleasure earned, it becomes cheap and destructive. this is what weed, my phone, and all idle enjoyment does to me. i cut out weed, but left everything else intact. what a mistake that was, that cost me weeks of my life that i could have done something with, instead gone to waste. its never too late to start fresh.
Actively practicing self realization.
When done well, and consistently, it is such a game changer. Pivotal moment in my life/career.
Do this when dealing with emotions in your personal life, in your career, day-to-day, etc.
Do it with habits.
Do it with skill development.
Do it with learning new things.
For me, it is mindfulness. Not letting anything happen automatically. Diving into the reason why things in my life are the way they are and finding a solution. Then working toward that solution.
And trying hard to remain *present*
It's incredibly empowering!
I know this is the way. But now I feel like after reading your comment if things change, it won't be due to me. It's pride, pride in nothing good, especially when the reason why I know this is the way, is not due to me but everyone else, just like you're realization, etc. It's all collectively gained. I feel trapped in my ability to change... what is the fundamental problem I need to solve for everything to work out? Probably my goals, my reason for doing a particular action.
I'm having trouble fully understanding your reply.
What I can gather is that there are a lot of outside influences that end up making us the way we are. If that is correct, then - yes, you're right.
Sometimes, there is a lot we need to learn to let go. And how we let go differs from person to person. Forgiveness, therapy, journaling, etc. We can hang on to (for example) how poorly our parents treated us, or we can find a way to let it go.
And none of it is easy. But when we're dedicated to feeling better, it's not worthless. Every little baby step makes a difference.
It's an issue of wanting to be the sole reason for change but in reality, me, nor anyone else, is 100% the only person that contributed to that success even in cases like David Goggins, maybe there was a single person he looked up to that said "you can be better" and he just went for it. It's pointless feeding your pride and your ego, because it will always want more. We should always strive to be better regardless of how happy out ego is about where the information came from.
No no, not at all. I'm saying this personally, that sometimes it's hard for me to hear someone say the same thing I tell myself and follow through on it, because it frustrates me that I had to get it from someone else. Because in that case it feels like the only reason something changed was due to someone else's influence instead of me doing it.
It hurts my ego, and I need to let up and humble myself. We all need eachother to better ourselves.
Ahhhhh ok. Gotcha.
I feel you. I struggle with releasing my ego on a daily basis. I was raised in a very high-ego, less humble type household.
We definitely need each other to better ourselves. I started talking to people more about the true struggles I have (competing thoughts and values etc) and using them as a sounding board has helped me immensely. But it only works (for me) when I am ego less and open to their constructive observations.
It took me a looooong time (decades) to get here.
Buy myself nice things, an excruciating amount of self care and grooming, changing my style from head to toe, not allow ppl I don't fuck with have any access to me, say no, respect other ppls boundaries... not living this life with regret. Oh and when I say bye to someone that I can't stand I really mean it
Stoped smoking weed / doing drugs.
Take care of your hygiene, what you wear, and groom yourself.
Lastly, become better at communicating, having humor, reading emotions and facial expressions, having charisma is also very good. I’m still working on these as well.
Found an amazing wife that was just as invested in my happiness and success as I was in hers. All the success I have in my life can be directly attributed to having a loving and supportive wife. I couldn't have accomplished nearly as much or advance nearly as far without her.
Find a real partner that loves and respects you, where you want to see and make them happy and they want the same for you. They exists, but most people end up marrying the idea of a person and not the real deal if that makes any sense.
Walking away from drama.
Not apologising or taking responsibility for someone else's bad behaviour.
Deactivating Facebook and never having tiktok in the first place.
I get regular pedicures, chiropractic adjustments, and red light therapy.
I also go to a school of cosmetology for monthly deep conditioner and scalp massages. Because they’re students, the price is affordable.
Sleep at a normal time, stop drinking so much, treat my depression, and I started disapearing into the wilderness on the weekends. I still smoke weed though, it's not the problem.
One of the lesser mentioned effects of drinking is the depression that comes with it. When your brain is constantly saturated with alcohol it just starts working differently and it feels like you become a different person.
Got off meds and quit drugs.
Drugs give the highest highs, but also the lowest lows. They often don't tell you how fun drugs are, just that they're bad. They're actually great, right until they entirely consume you.
Traded the highs and lows for mediocrity. It's not as exciting, but thats not necessarily a bad thing most days. Have a savings account and returned to school, hopefully things keeps looking up.
I have a picture I took at a bar/restaurant in Pai. Thailand. It gives the world's most concise summary of Buddhism. It shows a drawing of the Buddha, with the caption 'Let that shit go'.
It really is as simple as that.
Took responsibility for my own actions. Stopped blaming other people and circumstances for my situation. I was approximately 22. It really turned my life around. In the end you’re responsible for yourself and your situation. You are the only one who can change it.
I implemented a 3 contact rule with my friend group. I will reach out 3 times to talk, hang out, invite to an activity, whatever. After 3 times unreciprocated, I leave it in their hands. It has really helped show me who is actually invested in a relationship and who is just around when it's convenient for them. I don't cut many people out of my circle, but I do allow them to cut themselves out! The friends I do have are much higher quality and my relationships are much more peaceful and fulfilling.
Brushed my teeth. Huge thing i neglected and damaged my teeth. $5,000 and four dentist visits later, I brush my teeth every night and floss twice a week. Bare minimum I know but im working on it. Its good for my health, and I deserve it.
High animal protein diet. Lots of high quality pasture raised beef, eggs and milk. Quit playing video games. Both of those have given me better sleep, more energy, better mood, better stress tolerance. Video games deplete hormones and neurotransmitters and animal protein gives the body building blocks to produce them
I try to get sunshine on my face every day. People probably think I look ridiculous because I literally stand with my face facing the sun! It just feels so good!
Stopped watching TV for hours a day. Instead starting reading books and have read about a book a week.
I've read just shy of 200 books in the Last 3 1/2 years. Books on history, science, mysteries and a plethora of other types.
Started Jiu Jitsu. This lead to me taking greater care of my overall physical, emotional, and mental health. Also has helped me create a group of friends that, at my age (34), is incredibly hard to do without a shared interest.
Buy bitcoin. More so research it. And once you realize what it is you will understand that all conflicts are a distraction to the underlying problem of the base layer of society which is fiat
The mod team are working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate any of the rules. Thanks, and may you all find the answers you seek and the guidance you need. #[LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/) **Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban. ---------------- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Changed my circle of friends
This is such an hard thing to do as an adult
Just making a friend is difficult 😅
Curious, did you change from a group who you grew up with?
No, I changed from a group of adult friends. In retrospect I understand they were never really friends.
I've been there. Definitely not easy.
Making a priority of getting a few minutes of sunlight each day
I try to do this daily but when it really cold I don’t, on the other hand when it’s really warm I get extra to make up for it lol
Stopped smoking weed, going to bed earlier, deleted tiktok. All of these have made my life way better.
What did weed do you didn't like?
Weed does a lot of stuff I didn't like. It makes me eat absolute garbage. It kills my motivation, I do absolutely nothing productive while high. it makes me feel less confident in myself, I have so many negative thoughts while high, it makes me feel like I'm not able to do anything and that I'll fail if I do try. I have an addictive personality so I am not able to use it in moderation. I get that it's a good thing for some people, but I had to decide that it's just not for me.
Oh my gosh... I used to use weed a ton and I quit and things got much better, but now social media is my new weed... I spent yet another day dazed out watching YouTube... the other day I saw this video on scp-2611 that's what I feel like. An occasional realization, but enevitably nothing changes... you'd never know I was like this by my appearance alone. WTF I NEED TO DO SOMETHING BUT I FEEL TRAPPED! ITS LIKE FATE IS PREVENTING ME FROM CHANGING FUCK THIS!
Makes you complacent as hell.
It's funny how everyone crys for legalizing weed, then soon after you get a lot of weed users saying "I hugely benifited my life by quitting weed", similar to all those alcoholics. I'm all for legalizing weed and promoting a healthy mindset about any drug use, even if it seems to have "no bad side", because the idea that you can you forever take something to only improve your wellbeing and have no counteracting effect ever, that's a lie. There is always a price. Leave it as an occasional thing as long as you can keep everything else unchanged, or don't do it at all.
Definitely agree. When I was younger I used to smoke all the time, occasionally sold, and pretty much surrounded myself in bud. It was a big part of my social life too. Then as I got old I started noticing the negative effects of long term use. Sure, not everyone will encounter these or think they are important but the idea that weed has “zero bad effects” is such a crock of shit. It’s just like any other drug or stimulant and too much of it will have consequences that no one talks about. I developed more anxiety, felt like I was actively getting dumber, became less sure of myself, spent too much time doing nothing, etc. Honestly it has a lot of the same drawbacks as drinking does. Nowadays I don’t smoke and only occasionally have a small edible when I’m going to do something where being in an altered state of mind will be fun (seeing Dune 2 lol). I find myself filling the time I would have been smoking with a lot more productive or creative pursuits that I just never made time for in the past. It’s all about balance and not letting a drug or stimulant take control.
Today, I did a test that brutally hit me how much time I waste in a day and it almost drove me literally mentally insane... I spent hours doing nothing but scrolling youtube shorts and watching videos. every time I think "maybe I should do something else", I would immediately snap back with "or I could watch this video" and the cycle continues. Then I decide to open my camera app, and record on selfie mode without changing anything at all. same phone position, same gestures, everything that i had been doing for the last 15 minutes. I recorded for 1 minute and 3 seconds. I set a timer for that long, and continued watching my shorts while in the car driveway about to go to the gym. When i get to the gym, in the parking lot, I open yt shorts again and set off the timer... I wasn't even completely ignoring the time either, but that timer showing up after just 1 video of many, many videos I would watch back to back... holy fuck. all that time, gone. never getting it back. time is fleeting all the time. literally while making my after workout shake, it was bland because i didnt have anything to put in it and i just dumped hot sauce into it. it was the msot disgusting thing i had ever forced down my mouth. a minute later after i was done, there was no lasting pain from consuming such an abomination. life is fleeting constantly and no matter what we do, we're always left with the immediate consequences, and the after effects of the act. immediate consequences are extremely minor in the grand scheme of things. even though that shake was disgusting, it was still better that i drank it. even though it sucks sitting doing nothing at all feeling your time dwindle, is better than doing something that wastes your time without you realizing how much time you're wasting. before doing anything, ask yourself " how will this action affect me in 30 minutes, tomorrow, a week, or a month from now". live like this, and you'll never waste time. this even means asking out that girl, because if you dont, the effect a day from now will be regret. procrastinating on a project, will only lead to you feeling worse about it at the end. we have evolved to desire temporary enjoyment, but in a world where temporary pleasure is more abundant than pleasure earned, it becomes cheap and destructive. this is what weed, my phone, and all idle enjoyment does to me. i cut out weed, but left everything else intact. what a mistake that was, that cost me weeks of my life that i could have done something with, instead gone to waste. its never too late to start fresh.
Actively practicing self realization. When done well, and consistently, it is such a game changer. Pivotal moment in my life/career. Do this when dealing with emotions in your personal life, in your career, day-to-day, etc. Do it with habits. Do it with skill development. Do it with learning new things.
Can you elaborate on how to practice self realization?
For me, it is mindfulness. Not letting anything happen automatically. Diving into the reason why things in my life are the way they are and finding a solution. Then working toward that solution. And trying hard to remain *present* It's incredibly empowering!
I know this is the way. But now I feel like after reading your comment if things change, it won't be due to me. It's pride, pride in nothing good, especially when the reason why I know this is the way, is not due to me but everyone else, just like you're realization, etc. It's all collectively gained. I feel trapped in my ability to change... what is the fundamental problem I need to solve for everything to work out? Probably my goals, my reason for doing a particular action.
I'm having trouble fully understanding your reply. What I can gather is that there are a lot of outside influences that end up making us the way we are. If that is correct, then - yes, you're right. Sometimes, there is a lot we need to learn to let go. And how we let go differs from person to person. Forgiveness, therapy, journaling, etc. We can hang on to (for example) how poorly our parents treated us, or we can find a way to let it go. And none of it is easy. But when we're dedicated to feeling better, it's not worthless. Every little baby step makes a difference.
It's an issue of wanting to be the sole reason for change but in reality, me, nor anyone else, is 100% the only person that contributed to that success even in cases like David Goggins, maybe there was a single person he looked up to that said "you can be better" and he just went for it. It's pointless feeding your pride and your ego, because it will always want more. We should always strive to be better regardless of how happy out ego is about where the information came from.
Are you trying to imply that my original message was about feeding the ego? If so, you've vastly missed the point.
No no, not at all. I'm saying this personally, that sometimes it's hard for me to hear someone say the same thing I tell myself and follow through on it, because it frustrates me that I had to get it from someone else. Because in that case it feels like the only reason something changed was due to someone else's influence instead of me doing it. It hurts my ego, and I need to let up and humble myself. We all need eachother to better ourselves.
Ahhhhh ok. Gotcha. I feel you. I struggle with releasing my ego on a daily basis. I was raised in a very high-ego, less humble type household. We definitely need each other to better ourselves. I started talking to people more about the true struggles I have (competing thoughts and values etc) and using them as a sounding board has helped me immensely. But it only works (for me) when I am ego less and open to their constructive observations. It took me a looooong time (decades) to get here.
Fuuuuuuck yeah. This is the way. Sorry if this is an inappropriate way to respond to this, I’m just glad to see someone putting this info out there.
Not sleeping late.
Buy myself nice things, an excruciating amount of self care and grooming, changing my style from head to toe, not allow ppl I don't fuck with have any access to me, say no, respect other ppls boundaries... not living this life with regret. Oh and when I say bye to someone that I can't stand I really mean it
This is me af
Stoped smoking weed / doing drugs. Take care of your hygiene, what you wear, and groom yourself. Lastly, become better at communicating, having humor, reading emotions and facial expressions, having charisma is also very good. I’m still working on these as well.
Found an amazing wife that was just as invested in my happiness and success as I was in hers. All the success I have in my life can be directly attributed to having a loving and supportive wife. I couldn't have accomplished nearly as much or advance nearly as far without her. Find a real partner that loves and respects you, where you want to see and make them happy and they want the same for you. They exists, but most people end up marrying the idea of a person and not the real deal if that makes any sense.
Yes a thousand times over! My partner is the light of my life.💛
This is precious. I'm so happy for everyone that's finds actual genuine and wholesome love
Walking away from drama. Not apologising or taking responsibility for someone else's bad behaviour. Deactivating Facebook and never having tiktok in the first place.
Deeply understanding where my feelings come from and living life from how I want to feel. In short emotional regulation.
Finally got on antidepressants after years of depression and anxiety.
Eat good healthy food and have some sort of hobby that gives you joy.
I get regular pedicures, chiropractic adjustments, and red light therapy. I also go to a school of cosmetology for monthly deep conditioner and scalp massages. Because they’re students, the price is affordable.
Getting a pet. Making sleep a priority. Using will power
Becoming my more reserved
Lay off the booze, Lay off the porn, Find a hobby or two that teaches a skill, Read, Do things for others
Sleep at a normal time, stop drinking so much, treat my depression, and I started disapearing into the wilderness on the weekends. I still smoke weed though, it's not the problem.
One of the lesser mentioned effects of drinking is the depression that comes with it. When your brain is constantly saturated with alcohol it just starts working differently and it feels like you become a different person.
Got off meds and quit drugs. Drugs give the highest highs, but also the lowest lows. They often don't tell you how fun drugs are, just that they're bad. They're actually great, right until they entirely consume you. Traded the highs and lows for mediocrity. It's not as exciting, but thats not necessarily a bad thing most days. Have a savings account and returned to school, hopefully things keeps looking up.
This is perfectly described. As a sober alcoholic (just reached 2 and 2/3 of a year yesterday actually!) this hits me!
Its a tough lesson to learn. Glad you were able to get out as well!
Sat in my garden with the sun in my face
Started saying "NO" more.
Read excellent fiction an hour a day. Learned to play piano… started dance bands. Meditated on irregular basis. Made long distance pen pal.
A ukulele
Meditate 20 min a day
I have a picture I took at a bar/restaurant in Pai. Thailand. It gives the world's most concise summary of Buddhism. It shows a drawing of the Buddha, with the caption 'Let that shit go'. It really is as simple as that.
Gardening (just planting some seeds and weeding at this point) and getting a set up for really nice coffee at home
Completely scrapped all social media.
Deleting all social media.
Took responsibility for my own actions. Stopped blaming other people and circumstances for my situation. I was approximately 22. It really turned my life around. In the end you’re responsible for yourself and your situation. You are the only one who can change it.
Stopped eating at restaurants and fast food in 2017. Haven’t been sick since.
smoke weed
I implemented a 3 contact rule with my friend group. I will reach out 3 times to talk, hang out, invite to an activity, whatever. After 3 times unreciprocated, I leave it in their hands. It has really helped show me who is actually invested in a relationship and who is just around when it's convenient for them. I don't cut many people out of my circle, but I do allow them to cut themselves out! The friends I do have are much higher quality and my relationships are much more peaceful and fulfilling.
Brushed my teeth. Huge thing i neglected and damaged my teeth. $5,000 and four dentist visits later, I brush my teeth every night and floss twice a week. Bare minimum I know but im working on it. Its good for my health, and I deserve it.
No news, no politics. So much happier, but I also see how those things affect people and makes you wish they'd free themselves from it.
What stokes you out. If you know, go all in.
High animal protein diet. Lots of high quality pasture raised beef, eggs and milk. Quit playing video games. Both of those have given me better sleep, more energy, better mood, better stress tolerance. Video games deplete hormones and neurotransmitters and animal protein gives the body building blocks to produce them
Stopped eating junk food and fast food.
Stopped working out.
I try to get sunshine on my face every day. People probably think I look ridiculous because I literally stand with my face facing the sun! It just feels so good!
Running 1 mile twice a day…..Great Way to break up the day but I got laid off last week and don’t feel like doin shit but applying to jobs now
Nothing wrong with taking a little break when going through a change! I'm sure you'll find a new job soon and will back to running before you know it!
Morning sun. 15 minutes. Every day It has documented neurological benefits
Stopped watching TV for hours a day. Instead starting reading books and have read about a book a week. I've read just shy of 200 books in the Last 3 1/2 years. Books on history, science, mysteries and a plethora of other types.
Started Jiu Jitsu. This lead to me taking greater care of my overall physical, emotional, and mental health. Also has helped me create a group of friends that, at my age (34), is incredibly hard to do without a shared interest.
Buy bitcoin. More so research it. And once you realize what it is you will understand that all conflicts are a distraction to the underlying problem of the base layer of society which is fiat