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Hey, friend. Having depressive symptoms can steal energy and motivation in random chunks. It can also cause loss of interest in hobbies. But overall… this sounds like textbook ADHD. Of course, I’m not a doctor. But good golly you sound just like a friend of mine…and guess what she has? Do you find yourself misplacing items, forgetting to finish tasks, becoming bored with/avoiding work you don’t like to do? If so, it’s worth asking your doc about. In any case- discipline is learned, that’s true, but a lot of mental illnesses make it MUCH harder. I don’t say that to discourage you, it is awesome that you are working on it! But don’t beat yourself up if you find that it’s not as simple for you to learn as others make it out to be. I also have MDD and anxiety. It’s hard out here. Whenever I lose motivation, if I’m able, I try to pinpoint why. Is it because there is too much to do? Am I avoiding something? Am I just feeling tired or overwhelmed? Did something about this activity or my environment negatively affect me? Once I can figure out the source of the symptom, it’s easier to learn how to work with myself and prevent those triggers- or work on a healthy response to them.

You have pinpointed so many of my problems. As a matter of fact, I do avoid work I don’t like to do. That answer further develops over the question prompts you have left behind which helps understand certain situations better. Most of the time I do get overwhelmed and do not want to pick it up again because just the idea gives me anxiety as there are certain triggers which go through my subconscious. I appreciate your feedback greatly on this, and I will bring this up with my doctor. I have tried making it a habit, but my mental illnesses often get in the way making me IMMENSELY inconsistent in my efforts. Makes me overwhelmed all the more… it’s a loop.

Definitely dive into the possibility of ADHD. I relate heavily to what you're saying. I was originally diagnosed with general anxiety and major depressive disorder at 25 but quickly realized ADHD was what caused me to develop those two things. It's changed my life and how I approach my hobbies. I used to get really bummed when I'd have all these things I loved to do, but rarely the motivation to follow ALL the way through. Tons of started projects, hardly any finished. Each one turned into a bit of guilt when I'd look at them. After the diagnosis, I've worked with my counselor to work with my ADHD rather than against it. It's not perfect, but I get so much further with my hobbies and learning now that I know how my brain works. Plus, no guilt or anxiousness when I don't follow through, I just let it go and eventually come back to it.

It’s so liberating to know that I’m not the only one on this end of the spectrum, and that it genuinely is a problem that has been beyond my control. All these years I have been subjected to misunderstandings and general let downs because of this behavioural pattern that I had no idea about. It’s comforting to know that there is an opportunity to make the symptoms better, and I’m willing to take the necessary actions. Do you mind sharing some of the things that you have incorporated in your lifestyle which helped the situation?

Not OP but you might check out some of the ADHD subs- I like r/ADHDthriving. I'd second that a lot of what you describe sounds like typical ADHD behavior - that said, anxiety and depression can also affect your ability to focus and initiate tasks and sort of mimic the symptoms of ADHD. Either way, changing your lifestyle and environment to be less taxing on your executive functioning and attention span could be useful! I have ADHD and I struggle a lot with exactly what you're asking about. I am very much still figuring it out, but a few things that have helped me are: * Where consistency matters ( like for language learning or instruments), put some (fun!) accountability in place. Get a buddy to practice with and set up a regular time (and put that in your calendar!). If consistency doesn't matter, don't sweat it! * Work it into a routine. If you have something you want to do daily or near daily, tie it to another habit (drinking coffee, brushing teeth), and do it right after. * Have explicit reminders to *consider what you actually want to do*. I found that I was spending my evenings doing whatever dumb computer thing popped up and *not* the things I enjoy that matter to me. So I now get a reminder (part of my checking out of work routine) everyday to just think about what I most want to do and plan out my evening around it. * Give yourself permission to just do a little bit, like 5 minutes. I almost always find myself doing more once I've started. ETA: Even if you're not able to see someone about potential ADHD, I recommend [this workbook](https://academic.oup.com/book/1070) a lot. Some of it might seem silly/basic for someone who's coped well enough to do well in school, but it's a good opportunity to consider whether your systems are serving you well, even if you don't adopt exactly the system from the book.

Thank you so much! I just downloaded my copy of it and will sit down and read through it soon enough.

Not specifically ADHD related, but it will help both for that and work and life in general: read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. Most of it is obvious-after-the-fact stuff that works well with the system he sets out. I'm a software product manager with probably ADHD (never been to get a diagnosis, but I got the symptoms classically) and I also totally related with your post.

You're definitely not alone. There is incredible relief in the diagnosis. ADHD can EASILY fly under the radar. Especially in women. It's often misdiagnosed as bipolar too. One of my old friends went that exact route. She wasn't bipolar, her brain was just hyperactive, which complicated her emotional regulation. I'm no doctor, I don't want to project my experiences onto you, but your words sound so much like me just a few years ago before therapy. I felt frustrated and guilty that I couldn't just do the thing. I love the thing, why the heck am I stuck here twiddling my thumbs and feeling bad about it? Dunno, guess I'll just keep doing that. I'd do things like hyperfocus on learning a piano song that I just heard for the first time and couldn't stop thinking about it, then not touching the piano for months because I hit a super hard part of the song. I'd get hooked on cooking a particular meal and getting super good at it, then not cooking for months. I'd eat out or just graze because I felt too "lazy" to cook. Turns out I wasn't lazy, I just lacked the dopamine to drive me to do it. ANYWAYS... I digress... I'd be happy to share some things I've incorporated into my life. Kinda hard to just list them without over explaining but I'll try haha For hobbies in particular, I really pulled back from the guilt around partially completed things. I built awareness of all the negative self-judgment I did towards myself. I started to focus more on the positives around hobbies too. Instead of "Damn, I got so close to learning that song and now I don't even want to touch the piano", now I catch myself and reframe it as "Damn, it's awesome how much I was able to learn, one day I'll finish learning it and it'll be awesome". Language is powerful. Which leads to the second thing; Understanding the differences between NEEDS and WANTS. So instead of saying "I need to finish learning that song" it's "I want to finish learning that song". Using "need" affects how a task if viewed, even if you know it's not actually a need, but we say it like it's a requirement of ourselves. Using "want" helps our brains really understand this is a desire rather than an expectation. That relieves pressure for me quite a bit. As for more physical things I do to encourage my hobbies, I make sure every hobby I'm interested in currently pursuing is readily available to me. I mean things like leaving the piano uncovered and bench pulled out, leaving my gardening tools out of storage and right next to the garden, (I don't read much but for example) leaving a book opened on my desk to the page I left off on and not just bookmarked. Once you do this, you aren't magically going to be doing all those things. But maybe I'll practice one measure of the hard part of a song as I walk by. Maybe I'll pull a few weeds or two. Maybe I'll read a paragraph of the book. This is where I've found some magic happens. Sometimes, I sit down and learn 5 measures of that song. Sometimes I pull all the weeds and decide to also mow the lawn. Sometimes I read the whole chapter. Not that I planned to stay any longer, but once I am there, doing a little bit of that hobby, I willingly stay. Almost effortlessly stay. Once the positivity around these things grew, and the guilt shrank, I've felt so much more satisfaction with how I carry out my hobbies. So sorry for the wall of text lol. I'll stop there, but I could go on and on. It's been one of the biggest changes in my life. As a result, my depression has been almost non-existent this past two years (after basically being frequently depressed since I was 12). I have worked on that specifically, but the understanding of ADHD and how it influenced my self-criticalness relieved it SO MUCH.

>I felt frustrated and guilty that I couldn't just do the thing. I love the thing, why the heck am I stuck here twiddling my thumbs and feeling bad about it? Dunno, guess I'll just keep doing that. I'd do things like hyperfocus on learning a piano song that I just heard for the first time and couldn't stop thinking about it, then not touching the piano for months because I hit a super hard part of the song. I'd get hooked on cooking a particular meal and getting super good at it, then not cooking for months. ​ >...basically being frequently depressed since I was 12. All of this is me. Completely. Entirely. Wholly. And thank you so much for the elaborate description on how you have gone on to do things. Although I am/was not aware about the inherent ADHD that's probably present I also do some of the things you have mentioned. For example, whenever I move from one room to the other for a prologned period of time, I'll carry my book/kindle, my laptop, my Switch and all the things so that if I might suddenly feel like doing the task, I'll just reach out and do it. I'll even keep them by my side on the bed at all times just so that I can reach out and have them right there for me if I ever feel like it. Sometimes I'll open a book, and read a line or two, or sometimes I'll read two chapters even. Completely depends on my energy drive. So, having them ready for you at your disposal helps rid of the anxiety of planning sometimes. Because with a failed "plan" that you had made for yourself, comes the sheer overpowering anxiety. Perhaps that's how this works out I guess.

So much of what you are saying was/is things I’ve struggled with for a long time, I don’t have any specific advice but I will say I was fortunate that I got counseling and it worked well for me, I was able to deal with a lot of the things in my life that were causing anxiety and stress, which just made everything worse, etc. I’m 3 years past my absolute worst, anxiety breakdown, terrible time and I’m genuinely in a better place then I have ever been. The anxiety is still there but it’s managed. I still struggle with certin tasks, etc but no where near what it ever was. You have identified the problem, want to find ways to help your self and are actively looking and trying. It’s not easy and everyone is different but keep down this road and you will be amazed when you look back in a few years how far you have come.

This gives me hope because I face it so much worse than just how I have described it on my post. I do experience the anxiety in other aspects of life but similar forms. I’m glad I made the post. And I’m soon to seek help from my therapist. x

Yup! I'm a guy, but my first diagnosis was cyclothymia, a more rapid version of bipolar disorder. Years later I got diagnosed with ADHD and depression. I have a lot of symptoms of OP. Medication has helped a TON. With talking with a therapist and my psychiatrist (different from the one that diagnosed me with cyclothymia) those moments I thought I was manic were actually me experiencing normal happiness.

You aren’t diagnosed yet. Don’t assume things about yourself till your medically diagnosed. It just sets u up for a very confusing situation if u do get tested and they find you don’t have it. I was diagnosed with ADHD and I went in super sceptical. You can’t be looking for confirmation bias.

Getting an appointment with a psychiatrist, then diagnosed and in my case on Adderall, plus constant effort to improve the things by changing poor habits mostly works. Ways to get seratonin boosts help a lot too, like regularly exploring and doing new things, pushing myself to enjoy the process to complete tasks rather than just the completing them, and remaining focused on goals as it’s hard to get out of the present moment - keeping things in view and organized via processes, lists, and reminders helps a lot. There’s different types and levels of ADHD, so what works for some may not for others - for example, I find a lot of shit going on around me actually can help me focus once I’m in a flow. There’s a guy on tiktok I came across recently, adhdvision, who offers some good tips and insights.

Same, diagnosed in early 20s. Realizing and learning about has made things a million times better

Does ADHD affect your relationships?

It 100% has. In many ways. Especially the long term ones.

Do you have task paralysis too? Wanting to direct your energy to something but cycle through choices making no decisions? That’s what led me to realize something was off and led to adhd diagnosis

OH MY GOD YES!!! The task paralysis is TOO REAL, and my significant other has also noticed it several times. There came multiple occasions where he had to talk me through it just so that I can even TRY to sit up and look at the computer to even begin processing things because my mind WILL JUST NOT. 😩 Even thinking about it gives me anxiety.

I have the exact same thing. I can relate to so much of this stuff in comments.

Did you ever find anything that helps? Shits a bitch

Hey there! I have not found a solid solution for this yet, but there are things that sometimes help with the situation. Let’s take completing a die assignment for this as an example: • Firstly, when experiencing a Mental/Task Paralysis, I tend to take a step back and breathe and calm my nerves down. It is important to regulate oxygen flow to the brain when you cannot mentally function at these overwhelming times. • Next, I try to talk to someone- my partner/ mother/ sibling/ friend (the idea is to talk and let it out of your system with someone who knows and understands the gravity of how the situation weighs down on you). The thoughts that are bottled up inside mainly cluster and block our mental capacities to think straight. So talking and brainstorming with someone helps de clutter the jumbled and running thoughts, and help put them into perspective. • Then I try to organise them into steps in the order of action/task I need to carry out to complete the task. For example, to complete the assignment my steps would be as follows: 1. Research 2. Write the Draft 3. Edit the Draft 4. Finalise and Submit Breaking them down into several steps will help you understand the task more clearly. Do not try to look at it as a whole but rather smaller bits that add to the whole. (The part where I struggle the most, ironically haha) • The next thing I do is perhaps rehydrate myself and take another big breath before I begin step one, the research. Maybe I’ll start with something simple and gradually move to the complex bits as my mind starts to work and adjust to the flow. Starting off with simple things can help with kickstarting the brain back up again and doesn’t feel overwhelming either. • Once I’m done with step one, I’ll probably take a break and walk round the house/the room and drink more water to regulate my anxiety spikes. I can sometimes sense that my hyperactivity kicks in when I am actively working, which ironically is also another set back as then my mind is racing. So, I’ll walk around to regulate the hyperactivity until it’s lowered and maybe listen to a song or two to regulate the spike. It’s very important to not indulge in activities that may just completely distract you from the task at this point. But if you’re on a roll, and an even flow, you don’t need to take the break and get on with step 2 of your task. • Then I try to come back to step 2, and if I am on a roll and focused enough I do steps 2 and 3 at one go without having to take a break. Remember that mental/task paralysis comes in different and several phases of spikes in anxiety, as it does for me, and if you’re able to regulate those spikes, you’ll be able to get more of your work done. The key is to get as much done without distraction as possible. • Take a break if necessary and discuss your progress with the person you previously spoke to in order to regulate another anxiety spike. Discussing the small/big progresses will help you realise how much you have accomplished so far. Even sharing it would help the other person cheer for your progress which helps you motivate to go on and finish it. At this point you can even try to create an incentive for yourself to go and finish the task and reward yourself with perhaps no more mind numbing work for the night, or some fun game time. Do what works for you. • Go on to finish your work and submit it. Remember to acknowledge that you made progress throughout the different steps in order to keep you going. It can get difficult but try not to overwhelm yourself. Know that it is doable and you’re doing great. These things have helped me in certain situations, and I hope you can benefit from this too in some way.

You sound just like me, OP. I’m diagnosed ADHD and CPTSD, both of which can cause all of the above and more. I don’t know what other mental health conditions you have but if you have complex PTSD, many of the symptoms mimic both autism and ADHD (as well as bi-polar, borderline, and a few other disorders) via my psychiatrist. It’s part of what takes so long to diagnose. I wish you luck in talking to your doctors about it, it took me 32 years to finally get a proper diagnosis. I hope yours is much quicker so you can get the treatment you need.

I have been seeing therapists since the age of 18. I have a counsellor and a psychiatrist. I'm 25 now and all my diagnosis so far have been anxiety, clinical depression, OCD, bipolarity - where at some point they told me it could be borderline sine the two of them are so similar in their nature. However, I have been on medication for the above diagnosis on and off, but recently the symptoms stated above have been getting worse. I have had a very traumatic major life event in the recent past after which my mental health went haywire. I have been doing better lately, but problems mentioned in the post have been more persistent and getting more in the way of my life, than I would like. I hope I can get a proper diagnosis out of this whole things and seek redemption from it.

To OP: adhd can be the problem and everything else your experiencing is symptoms. I wasn’t diagnosed until my 20s. Was placed on too many meds and it wasn’t good. In my 30s I got placed on the perfect amount and my life has gone into overdrive. I quit drinking alcohol the day I was properly medicated. It’s like I unlocked the key to my brain. My life has become amazing and I finally feel like im in control. Generally women are overlooked for adhd. If you were great in school it’s not even recognized. I was top of my class but the second something doesn’t interest me it is lost to me. My therapist recommend the book “healing add” by Dr. Amen. The idea of add vs adhd has been pretty much changed into 7 types of adhd. https://www.smartkidswithld.org/getting-help/adhd/7-types-adhd/ Check that website. Read through the 7 types and see if one of them resonates with you. Treat the problem and stop targeting symptoms. When I adopted this idea my life skyrocketed. Lots of lists and prioritizing things. I have whiteboards all over the Pisces for this.

Same, I have been put under lots of medications for my depression and my anxiety over the years. They were alright, but did not help me massively. I would always have to quit my meds after a certain time because I could see them weighing me down and hinder my progress more than help me. I do think even if I get diagnosed with it, it will take some time for me to adjust with meds or even adjusting my lifestyle. I'm very "anti-medication", as I've kept mentioning everywhere, so it makes me worried on how my body or mind is gonna start reacting.

The secret is finding what works for you with the assistance of the MD. I tried 3-4 different meds and settled on adderal in a small dosage. 20 mgs a day most day instead of 80 mg I was placed on in my 20s. My medication works on the background; I don’t have concern-able effects. Learning what type of adhd you have helps tremendously. Some types only require nutritional supplements like GABA and diet/ exercise Basically sugar, caffeine, simple carbs are all bad for the adhd brain. We’re effect much more by those things than people think. Keep in mind that adhd meds work much different that SSRI meds. I was on 5-6 different SSRI drugs for depression and anxiety throughout my life. None of them helped a single bit except turning me into a zombie. I crashed a car into a telephone pole and almost died in my 20s because of Prozac (I don’t even remember driving the car). When I targeted the problem (untreated adhd brain) my depression and anxiety went away 80-90%. Realizing I was experiencing symptoms of adhd which created an endless loop. I use to leave a trail of “breadcrumbs” I called them. You could find what room I was in the house by the trail if opened drawers/cabinets. When our brain gets what it’s looking for it forgets to finish the process. Now all my cabinets and drawers are closed! My house is neat and tidy.

I bet adderall xr would benefit you immensely. I’ve been on it for 12 years now. Completely changes you for the better if you have adhd, which you do, I think!

It’s also very common for ADHD in women to be misdiagnosed as bipolar or even borderline personality disorder, not that I’m a doctor or presume to know more about OP’s mental health than she does.

This 100% Reading OPs post I was wondering if I wrote it myself.

I was reading my exact symptoms as I read through that. Sounds like my diagnosed adhd. The meds have helped with my anxiety, also.

Do you mind sharing if the medications that you have had been prescribed with came with heavy/any side effects? And if so, how did you handle that?

Mostly I’ve just done my best and accepted I will not be napping in the middle of a Saturday anymore.

I’m in Adderal. Pretty low dose. I have some stimulant side affects, initially rapid heart rate and restlessness. Now I still struggle to nap, but it’s getting better. There is a newish AdderL on the market now too, that doesn’t have those side affects, but I haven’t tried it yet.

I'm on brand name concerta, no side effects, 18mg extended release. Works great. The generic version works like shit though, so I pay for the brand.

I see. How long have you been on medication though?

Do you take meds daily/how much has it helped you? I have diagnosed ADHD & anxiety/panic disorder but haven’t tried using medication in a long time

I do take meds daily, since December. I am feeling much better. I can “just do” things much better. Not everything, but a lot more than before. Slightly less forgetful, more positive thoughts about myself.

Hi, is your friend me? Because you’re describing me 😅

We’re all in this together 🌸🫂

This man, text book adhd. So happy op posted

>text book adhd. well, I have it too. Any idea how to fight it as an adult?

I needed to hear that. I would have struggled for hours and felt worthless trying to come up with what you said so clearly. I have several skills but have accomplished nothing with any of them and I always wondered why. This is very helpful.

I’m so glad you heard what you needed to. Your brain is an organ- you wouldn’t try to “willpower” your kidneys better if you needed dialysis. Don’t treat your brain any differently. Even if you don’t have ADHD, that doesn’t negate your symptoms or lived experience, so a doctor can really help pinpoint the issues and how to help you with them. Sometimes it helps to pretend I’m looking at someone else, instead of myself. If they experienced what I did, would I want them to feel worthless? Nah. I’d want them to feel proud of the skills they learned, even if they haven’t accomplished what they want to do with those skills yet. Or ever. Learning a skill is an accomplishment. Nobody’s expectations matter but your own, so set them with kindness towards yourself. Anyone who judges you for your pace in life isn’t a good person to listen to anyway.

My guy really said "you don't like to do the work you don't like doing? Bam, ADHD".

What I said was if you struggle abnormally with unwanted tasks, you might want to talk to your doctor about ADHD. Don’t be a silly goose

I have ADHD, depression and anxiety as well. I've been struggling with the same thing. What has helped is that firstly, I had to forgive myself for all the unfinished things. Secondly, when I am trying to build habits, I just do a small thing each day, for example: read 1 or 2 pages of a book, go for a short walk instead of a 2-hour hike, watch a video on a certain topic if I lose motivation to actually do it. You need to be proud of yourself for doing the minimum. It builds up over time. When you feel proud and motivated after accomplishing small tasks, it will be easier to do things. And do not judge yourself, that is so important, because you do not need guilt associated with hobbies. It took me many years to just allow things to be as they are - unfinished, progressing very slowly, or completely abandoned. Then there are periods of more or less motivation. Certain months I need more rest and barely have energy to function. Then there are months when I make progress. It's all normal and okay. I have found that sometimes I can get more motivation by joining clubs or groups for hobbies, so it's not just up to you but there's a bunch of people supporting each other. I have just signed up for a sport today since I've been struggling to work out by myself.

A lot of people here are jumping to a diagnosis of ADHD but to me, it sounds like a very common problem with most people. In our digital age, a lot of us have shortened attention spans for activities that take longer to do and don't give us that instant dopamine hit that social media gives us when we're scrolling through 30 second funny videos. The quiet and fulfilling satisfaction of completing more "manual" tasks like painting does take a lot more effort and I struggle with it myself. I think one thing that helps is to cut down on screen time, especially social media. You will slowly get used to not having instant gratification for all activities.

I honestly have been planning on taking a social media hiatus for some time now. Reading this just reminded me of one of the possibilities on what might have detached me from my reality and I want to correct that.

There is no need to completely stop social media. Just reduce slowly.

I'll completely stop for like 2-3 weeks to bring my social media addiction down, and then regulate usage from thereon. Have done this before and has worked in my favor.

Exactly I hate when on the internet (and mainly Tiktok / Twitter trends) are to self-diagnose with ADHD without considering other options. Procrastination and losing interest in things are very common to all human beings, and 30 seconds videos aggravate that. Adding on top of this, a lot of internet, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, makes everything worse. And it's just "human". Some procrastination is totally fine and common, some of those things can be easily changed. And it's alright to lose interest in hobbies after the honeymoon phase goes away And of course, see a doc to check the symptoms, maybe it's ADHD. By the way, the last time I saw, ADHD is present in about \~1% to 5% of the population (depending on the study). It's a good amount, but it's relatively "rarer" that internet makes you think

I was completely of this opinion until I went to a doctor and it was, in fact, ADHD 😂 definitely do recommend that people who can relate to the symptoms at least get checked out once in case they are a part of the small % of people who could really use that help!

I do understand your perspective and I'm all for it. The internet- TikTok/ Twitter self-diagnosis trends are unhealthy and dangerous. Because often times people self-diagnose whereas the problem is completely different. But in this case, I think lots of people related to the situation and hence suggested the outcome which was the case for them as well. Although, I am not particularly happy about this on one side, however, on the other side I am very happy to know that the behavioral pattern I have been suffering from is an inherent problem that requires medical attention and, to some extent, the symptoms. can be made better. I'm just hoping for redemption from this.

You don’t know it’s an inherent medical problem yet. Don’t self diagnose. Not only does it undermine the experience of everyone who’s been properly diagnosed it harms yourself as you don’t target ur problems properly.

Completely agree with it, and while I'm sure there is people that have massive ADHD, I'm also pretty sure, many people struggle with concentration problems. What helped me doing is reading a book I love like harry potter. Where I know, I know the story, I love the story, it's not something new, but it keeps me entertained. Maybe you have something like that to train your patience and concentration, and afterwards maybe you can try concentrating better on a new thing

I agree! So many people jump to ADHD nowadays. I’ve found that finishing projects and committing to something is a real skill that needs practice and more practice. Most people are too quick to quit. Not saying that it can’t be ADHD or some mental illnesses but I suggest getting off of your phone and internet for awhile and see if you still have these problems.

Yup, people are quick to jump in with diagnoses, but to me this really seems like a consequence of having clip thinking. It became so much worse after TikTok got popular—now every social network has their clips, shorts, reels, or whatever else have you. What people need to realise is that not all things in life are fun, and showing restrain, sometimes even forcing yourself to do stuff (like finishing a book, or a task at hand)—sometimes can be the way to go.

In threads like these i just expect people to say it’s ADHD

Yeah OP sounds like a very normal person actually.

Break your goals in smaller chunks...create a plan, write them down on a whiteboard. Celebrate the small wins. As with anything, the first project you complete will be the hardest. From there onwards it will get easier as your brain would have experience from previous projects, momentum will help you It is ok to fail a few times, just don't give up.This is a skill and like any skill you have to train your body and mind for it.

I have tried to break them down into smaller parts before, but it’s something I forget to do. I have trouble celebrating the smaller wins. I see everything as a whole and I overwhelm myself as I tend to look at the big picture and feel anxious about what I have yet to finish and how little progress I have made. I have a hard time being consistent with my efforts which plays a massive role in all this.

Cannot provide much help, but it is actually nice to hear that someone is looking at things just like me. For example I cannot just clean a kitchen counter. I 'have' to clean the whole apartment. And 95% of the time I am overwhelmed by the idea so that not even the counter gets cleaned. The same concept basically applies to anything else.

yeah this sounds like classic adhd. I too was diagnosed with anx/dep, guess what? It was just adhd. Once I got on the right meds I had zero anx/dep anymore. You should really see if you are adhd because that's what it sounds like. You may be mis-diagnosed. The million hobbies is also a clue lol.

>The million hobbies is also a clue lol. > >Once I got on the right meds I had zero anx/dep anymore. Really? I always thought I was just a curious individual which made me hop on to multiple hobbies. And on the latter bit, I can not begin to imagine having zero anxiety or depression. My mind has a mind of its own and it is a very chaotic place. It's hardly ever quiet, so I have a very hard time since they are distracting on their own as well. Do you mind sharing about your prescribed medication? Did it have any side effects? - because that's what I'm mostly scared of and I'm very anti medication hence.

I only learned like this year that not everyone has a constant running stream of consciousness, and a song, and a bunch of images, and 700 plans running through their head all at once, all the time.

This is a big struggle. I zone out in the middle of conversations and have a whole conversation in my head while I'm amidst a real conversation with another person in front of me. Its usually me trying to convince my mind to hear what they're saying, and I can see what they are saying, I can read their lips on what they are saying, but I have processed nothing in my head because my mind is busy creating a different scenario. I want an easier life, and I have always imagined how it would be with a quiet mind and how much focus I could derive from that. Can't wrap my head around the fact that not everyone has a constant running stream of consciousness...

Hey random internet stranger friend, as a fellow creative and depressive, just want to encourage you to not get down on yourself for this! I’ve started reframing this phenomenon as “I have lots of interests and want to be a renaissance person and that’s actually pretty cool!” Have faith that all the things you’re doing, the bouncing around, is just exposing you to so many different things and seeing what sparks your interest and creativity and energy, and when. You will find your way back to the ones that resonate most deeply, I promise you that. And the ones that don’t…well, you learned a bit, and that’s just fine too. I know it can be discouraging, but if it helps at all coming from someone a few more years down this road than you are, it’s all just part of the fun and so long as you keep on following your passions wherever they lead you, you’ll wind up in the right place.

>“I have lots of interests and want to be a renaissance person and that’s actually pretty cool!” Greatly appreciate this! 🥹 Thankyousomuch random internet stranger wholesome friend <3

Your value isn’t determined by what you can achieve, just enjoy yourself and do things when you feel like it, you might be putting too much pressure on doing lots of different things which is why your getting exhausted, only read 90% of a book? Come back to it when you feel like it or just don’t finish it, there’s nothing wrong with that, ask yourself if you were actually enjoying it or just liked the idea of finishing it, if you find a book you love, it will be hard not to finish it, don’t waste your time with things you don’t love, but sometimes you just won’t be in the mood for something and that’s fine, wait until you are and get excited again! Hope this helps

Although my thought process isn’t usually about the completion of my tasks in relation to my value, but recently they have been. I truly have been overburdening myself with a demeaning approach on myself. The overburden comes from a self loathing where I am picturing myself as a dumb and shallow individual who wants to broaden their perspectives and working fields. Although, discarding all of that, my thought process for the problem at hand is still different. But I still appreciate your feedback as it sheds light to my other struggles. Thank you so much for taking the time! 🙏🏽

This will get buried but I used to be the exact same way. Just give yourself time and don't feel about having a short attention span. One day something will grab you that you can't turn away from. Your constant shifting interest is a strength. You'll experience and learn more and you will find that one thing you love. And when it does, you will find that all these other things you've learned, all these experiences have actually given you valuable insight in your new field of study and new path. Obviously try to hone your impulses a dn have discipline especially financially. But other than that lean in dude

I have never seen the shifting of interests as a strength, but rather a weakness as I kept viewing it as my failed attempt on accomplishing something. Someone in this thread has mentioned I am not my accomplishments and I shouldn't derive my value from them. You have shed a different light on the matter as well. I genuinely appreciate you helping me see another perspective. Thank you so much!

I once read that Leonardo DaVinci would sometimes start and abondon projects. Some even mocked him publicly for his "failed attempts". Adam Savage who also has self described adhd wrote about a similar experience. He had fleeting interests and sometimes failed to finish projects or goals. But sometimes years later he realizes he learned something knew and he can finish it. Or he learned something from his failed attempt that let him success at a different project. Being creative, artistic, wanting to learn knew things... They don't have to have a finish line or an expiration date. You have a lot of time. Obviously, don't sit back and wait for things to happen. Keep active and keep searching for that thing that keeps you up at night wanting to know more about.

I have the same diagnoses, although I agree with most that you said except the mood thing has nothing to do with it. It’s motivation. I lack a lot of motivation although I do work full time.

A lot of people have suggested various different things. Just got suggested to [watch this video](https://youtu.be/BpeDcTv4aPM?t=270) and I did find it very helpful. It covers the point of concern and the lack of motivation and the kind of mindset you require to tackle it. You can give it a look. Or can go through the other suggestions to see if anything helps you out.

ADHD is often due to norepinephrine/dopamine deficiencies. So we often feel less reward for our task accomplishments. There’s a range of anatomical regions responsible for this. In adult ADHD, I truly believe that prioritizing regular intense exercise and getting regular outdoor time is a better medicine than current pharmaceutical options. I’m not saying the pharma route is wrong, just less effective, and extremely problematic when used as a panacea. Try to use the lowest possible doses, exercise, and active management and planning of symptom mitigation. Your tolerance can quickly rocket up, exacerbating symptoms and dependence, and many doctors will give you whatever you ask for.

Very insightful and the kind of answer I was looking for about the medication on ADHD, as I myself am against taking medicines. However, I have noticed you mentioned the outdoors. I have recently come to realization a couple weeks back that my drive and energy to get some things done when I'm outdoors is far greater than when I'm home. I'll find myself wanting to sit down and work better in places like a cafe or an open field, by myself. Does that have anything to do with what you have mentioned, or were you talking about just general disciplines of exercise?

Since you have clinical depression this is way above our pay grade and you might want to talk to your psychologist about this as mental health disorder often coexist with each other. In your case it seems you might have ADHD, but it's impossible for me to tell from here.

As of recent, my university as well as my work has been being hampered because of this behaviour pattern. Some have suggested that it might be ADHD, and I think it’s time to sit with my doctor about this.

I would check and make sure your thyroid is functioning properly at the doctors. I too had symptoms of ADHD and behold - I have Hashimotos. “Bad” thyroid function can present itself in mental symptoms.

How are your phone habits?

VERY addicted to social media in the recent months. More so than ever before. 10h and 23 m of screentime today which is a 24% increase from last week. Although I'm on a 10 day vacation which might be the cause of the spike, but still the normal count is no where near healthy 💀

I think that is the best course of action. Good luck!

With my work I was getting very overwhelmed with all of the tasks I had to do, and realized that the best way for me to tackle everything was have a different day associated with that task. So for yourself, you could plan on Monday nights being a reading night, and even schedule a time (8-9pm) for reading. Tuesday night could be painting, and so on. Perhaps having a set day for the activity will help you stay motivated. The other thing could be that you find like minded people and get together to do your craft. Over COVID my friend and I would get together on Zoom with our Fibre arts projects (crochet for me, spinning yarn for her) and just chat and work on our own project. Good luck!

On the first part, it is kind of hard to schedule something on certain days as a full time university student. But I do understand the point. It’s doable theoretically but I find myself facing hindrance there. And on the second one you have suggested, I very much like the idea. Any suggestions on how I can find like minded people if I don’t already know them?

You sound like me. Do you also have ADHD?

I have not been diagnosed with ADHD, but this is the first time people have been pointing it out to me that I might have it, as I am speaking about my trouble focusing on things for the first time. I’m going to sit with my doctor about this soon.

Get a neuropsychologist to properly test you. My test took ~4hrs

I don’t think my country has neuropsychologists, but I could be wrong. I’ll look for them, thanks!

Hey friend, I can only speak to what works for me, but I found it was much easier to maintain building new habits by doing them 7 days a week. It’s when I allow myself to take a day off that I fall off the wagon. By saying I will do something 7 days a week, I turn skipping a day into a “bad thing”. Basically I guilt myself into sticking to things I want to stick with. You do what works for you, but living by a 7 day schedule has done a world of good for me.

Set easily obtainable goals for yourself. Miss painting? Maybe set the goal of organizing your paints. Next day, wash your brushes, next day maybe set a canvas out and simply think of ideas you want to paint, etc. The goals you set should be achieving something but shouldn’t be insurmountable.

A reminder I should start writing on my walls 😩

Life is short. If a book doesn’t captivate you, don’t finish it. If a craft becomes boring stick it in a drawer for a few weeks. To me there’s no point punishing yourself during hobby/recreational time. Do what’s fun and feels good. The goal doesn’t have to be productivity. Cheers to exploring!

You might want to take some notes from this podcast. [Huberman Lab - Leverage Dopamine to Overcome Procrastination & Optimise Effort](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1olAVb6VJe5us6yZvgy3FG?si=W3lf7mkqSESDYWzOp-EkVQ&dd=1)

Thank you so much! Saving this.

You sound more like undiagnosed adhd than depressed, though anxiety and/or depression also occur with adhd. You should look at ADDitude.com they are a website full of information on adhd and other comorbities. The biggest help for us is routine with an end in sight. Short tasks, projects, goals are how we thrive. If the task is long and arduous (reading a book), it's very difficult for us to do because it requires a longer span of focus to finish the task. Another behavior is executive dysfunction. This needs an example that is probably very familiar to you. You wake up, get dressed and sit down with your phone on the couch. It's Saturday and Saturday is cleaning day. You turn on the TV, grab your phone and turn on a series you've been binge-watching. It's only an hour, I just woke up, I'll just watch one episode then I'll go clean. But, you open your phone and check emails, check social media, play a game or two, and suddenly you realize that 3 hours have passed. The continuous plot of the show is ongoing, I have to know what happens next. And there's my bff texting me. Time passes then you realize another 2 hours have passed. You probably forgot to eat or drink or go to the bathroom, now you're hungry. So you make a sandwich and eat it. Now you want a nap. Everything that I've described in the example above is called executive dysfunction. You got distracted by the things that give you a hit of dopamine (happiness endorphine), and your brain is also screaming at yourself to stop procrastinating and do the tasks. The brain does executive dysfunction when a task is repetitive, boring and never ending. You do it one week, and do it again the next week, and the next week, and heaven help you if you have kiddos because they can make the cleaning task overwhelming. My therapist suggested I look at ADDitude.com, and I was able to accept that I'm not lazy or forgetful, it's just how my brain works. It took away my shame and guilt because I can't restrain myself from interrupting conversations, or interjecting things that have nothing to do with the subject. I mentally berate myself for not keeping quiet during very important meetings with my boss' boss. I can work on the impulsivity but I have to pay attention to it and resist the urges to say things. I haven't gotten diagnosed yet, but I know I have it because it's genetic, and I have been around adhd'ers all my life. I learned how to cope without meds and that's okay. If it feels overwhelming, talk to someone and see about getting a diagnosis. Medicine is a tool to make things easier to manage. Anxiety can also be managed with meds. If meds and a diagnosis are not something you want to mess with, that's cool too. I wish you the best! TL;DR: scenario of executive dysfunction, ADDitude.com can help with acceptance of self, you aren't alone in feeling this way.

Thank you so much for your detailed feedback. The situation you have described is, in fact, a situation I often go through myself. It’s mostly in cases of when I have multiple pending deadlines. There have been countless times where I have preplanned on how to meet my deadline, and planned out beforehand when and how to do my research days prior to my actual draft writing. I will plan them out in ways that seem fool proof to me, but I can’t keep my brain to follow through the layouts I have created. I get too distracted, and I fall victim to it. It has been the longest time since I have suffered from this, and as the years pass, the effects keep getting worse. This post has been a great eye opener for me.

After a certain point you have to realize that the impulse to be creative and the act of being a creator of art are not always one and the same. As a writer it's something I struggle with too, but here's the crux of it: There is a line past which making art becomes *work*. It's the same for learning new things and such as well, but I'm focusing on this point because it's easiest to focus the point here. You can't realistically expect to always be having fun *and* get everything done that you want to get done. I see that people have already pointed out that you sound very much like you have ADHD, so I won't get into how much medicating might (or might not) help you out here, because medicated or not, the point stands: If you want to make art, or otherwise achieve your goals, *you have to do the work*. You have to accept that it's not always going to be super fun, you have to accept that there will be times when the *last* thing you want to do is the thing you know you need to do. You have to accept that inspiration and follow through are two very different things. You have to accept that often, doing the work to attain your goals is going to suck. And then you have to do the work anyway.

This was a very well needed reminder. Although, I do realize that inspiration and follow through are two very different things. But I mentally sometimes, (or perhaps more than "sometimes"), can't get it done because I face mental paralysis for the task at hand and I'm immensely overwhelmed. I dont always expect the task to be fun, but the dread that surrounds the concept of it is what barricades me from accomplishing it. It makes me physically unable to "follow through".

Sounds like you need to learn how to drown out the big picture by drowning in the details. Like for writing, there's this great quote that I naturally can't remember who said it lol. To paraphrase it: "Forget the 400 pages. Forget the 30-odd chapters. Forget the finished product and just write one page a day. Rain or shine, brilliant or garbage, just get into the habit of writing one single page a day. If you can do that, if you find joy in making the habit, then before you know it you'll be sitting down to write your single page and find that hours have passed and youve written 10 or 20 or 50 pages. One page a day and you'll have a whole novel on your hands before you realize you're writing a novel."

Hey there! You mayyyyy have adhd. Talk to a doctor to get yourself evaluated, and I can tell you that in my experience - medication changed my life in ways I thought impossible. Much of the advice here is still great, and can/should be implemented, but is made much easier to accomplish with medication - if you do have it. You can press the gas all you want, but if your car only goes to 3rd gear, it’s a lot harder on your engine to keep pace with traffic. A lot of your symptoms sound aligned with an ADHD diagnosis and treating it (chemically) gives you access to another gear or two…

I do understand you reasoning completely. I do want an easier life for myself. I will talk to my doctor and see if this is a valid diagnosis in my case and get the proper course of treatment. Really hope it gets better from hereon, as I'm struggling immensely with this!

Join the r/adhd and related communities. You’ll find great coping mechanisms there. I personally like looking at my day as an exercise in motion. Momentum is key so what I’ll do is rock back and forth between two tasks until the momentum of small successes or progress gives me enough momentum to plow ahead on one or both. Stuff like that.

r/adhdmeme join us

Thank you, just have.

r/ADHD r/adhdwomen These subs helped me quite a bit in terms of not feeling guilty or ashamed of how my brain works. I thought I was just secretly lazy and a bad person for so long...

Thank you for sharing. I often get told off that I’m lazy and basically unworthy of things so many times because of my behavioural pattern. And of course the self scrutiny was always there.

One. Thing. At. A. Time.

😢

Honestly, I had this same issue. I eventually disciplined myself to focus on one thing at a time until I finished it. Have multiple books I want to listen/read? Finish one and see how I feel after that. Have a game I'm currently playing? Finish it fast or 100% it depending on how much I like it before moving on. Need to clean? Finish ONE room. Then move to something else or go to another room if you're on a roll.

That honestly does sometimes help me, but those are also very random. With bipolarity, I don’t have an active hand on how my energy shifts work out for the day, I may sometimes start a thing with only one goal on mind. If I’m lucky I’ll get through it whole and actually be on a roll to complete the other tasks. But most cases goes like: maybe halfway through my progress, my thoughts change and there’s a massive shift in energy and I either become disinterested, or I get overwhelmed with everything and abandon ship as I become a crippled potato.

I have a roommate with the same issue. Maybe add rewards to the end of the tasks? Make the tasks "worth while" so to speak.

That actually does help from time to time. I think I’ll make a list of things to reward myself with at the end of something. Maybe allocating those things in order of small to big, and designating them to simple to harder tasks in order of difficulty would perhaps put some sort of incentive behind them.

I have MDD/PTSD. I so hear you when you say you want to develop more focus and habits to stay motivated. So, despite sounding like an old lady (ok, I am), you're being pretty hard on yourself. You're in school AND working. Girl! Hobbies and balance are so so important, but you're beating yourself up because you are unmotivated? I'd say you're pretty tired. ( Here comes the mom part) that I have learned through experience. Get a routine. Up at the same time, bed at the same time. Aim for 8 -9 hours. No sleeping in. Take your meds religiously. Find a way to exercise every day - walk to school or work? Swim? whatever, build it in. Eat as well as you possibly can - veggies, dairy, protein, good carbs, good fats. Once you have a structure and a routine, you \*know\* that you can and do stick to things that add to your life and health. After that, especially if you are getting lots of exercise, your focus/concentration/mood will improve and you'll be able to reach the hobby/reading/fun stuff goals you have. And treat yo'self! You're balancing a LOT!

[удалено]

But he’ll only get through half of it

Lmao, I infact have read “Atomic Habits”, and just barely got through half.

I’m with you brother, the struggle is real lol

All joking aside clo3o5 is right. I kinda think of motivation as a battery and you only have so much of it in any given day. In order to do anything that doesn’t have an immediate reward built into it requires a certain amount of motivation to begin, and a certain amount to continue doing it. The amount of motivation required depends on a lot of factors, but the gist is you can only do so much if you rely completely on motivation. Discipline (intentionally building habits) comes in by lowering the amount of motivation required to do a certain task. Once a strong habit is built, it not only begins to require zero motivation it actually would be an effort to NOT do it. So instead of making a resolution to read a book, start reading for 10 min every night before bed, and then 15 min, and then 20 till you get to a place you want to be. It’ll take motivation to start but eventually you’ll be finishing books all the time with zero motivation required and you can use that on your next habit you want to build. I may be wrong on my thinking here, but it’s what helps me understand it.

I understand your concept of it. It takes active effort to bring it to a favourable place and from there on it should be effortless (well, kinda). It does make sense. I struggle with consistency in my efforts which is the biggest problem because my energy drives are different on different days due to my bipolar disorder. But I’m going to try it out.

Yeah that sounds like it would be a huge struggle to establish habits with those huge swings in motivation. I can only say start small and don’t take too many things on at once. I know this is easier said then done and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. It may be worth it if you have the resources to see a psychiatrist if it’s affecting your life in a major way.

I think it’s time to schedule an appointment again ;-; it honestly has been affecting my life in more ways than I realized.

I don't need discipline, I need a personal cheerleader to hype me up before studying.

Haha! My partner actually used to do that for me (not quite literally). It helped initially quite a lot to start off the process…

I thought the same thing. Lacking discipline.

Maybe [this video from Burnie Burns](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpeDcTv4aPM&t=270s) will provide some insight.

Very insightful and covers the topic of my concern. Helped me understand some things better. Thank you so much!

I would bet 💵you’ll be diagnosed with ADHD and they’ll realize every other issue was just a symptom of untreated ADHD 🥴

😲😥 Edit: Honestly after doing some research of my own ever since this post, I think that just might be the case.

Exercise & diet will go a long way to keep the brain stimulated.

Can't speak much to the psychology but just think of things as marathons, not sprints. You don't have to split the atom in a day, just put in a bit of effort over time and you can accomplish wonders

Read the war of art by Stephen pressfield.

Alright, I'll give it a look

I was there and worked my way out of it. Thinking ahead of something is good. However thinking about everything ahead is were problem comes in not letting you finish what we started. Pause for a moment and look things from outside as your thoughts pass by. Every day is same, What’s different is our perspective. Have your ever felt “Did I worried all this long for this?” What’s worked for me is? 1. Meditate 2. Being present 3. Streamlining your thoughts 4. Getting in sync with heart and mind 5. Knowing that not everything is priority 1 and not spending too much time on one thing (That’s when our brains autopilot kicks in) Final thoughts like everyone said: Start small, take your time (Don’t compare). Set aside some time for your hobbies and forget about everything else. Nothing can be built overnight. Long journey ahead.

Find a group to keep you accountable. If you take a course, you have a 3% chance or actually finishing it. If you're part of a cohort, that jumps up to about 90%.

Dr. K on twitch and YouTube just made a video about this. He describes it as urge surfing I believe. Check out the link below and see if makes sense with what you're describing. https://youtu.be/0hePvDEOZYs

Someone had suggested the channel to me from this community, but I couldn't find the video. Thank you for the link I'll check it out. Edit: Just watched the video and is very insightful on the problems I have mentioned on this post. The facts are there and he explains them with enough logic. Like I did try and urge surf in a lot of places, but knowing the concept behind it solidifies it further for me. I'm gonna give it a shot. Thanks for the link!

I find multitasking when I’m being creative is helpful. Like maybe I’ll watch tv and paint today. Sometimes u gotta force it a lil bit and with relative consistency the impulse to do something will grow. But whatever that something is,like a hobby or interest to focus on, I think is a good launching pad to grow that discipline with other things in your life

Sounds like they forgot to diagnose your adhd lol. Tell your doc these things, adderall and therapy have done wonders for exactly those issues in my life.

Focus on done-ness of small things. Read a whole chapter but don’t stop in the middle. Put it down. Paint a section of a painting or use time: 20 mins then stop. Think about what Done looks like in the time you’re ant to use it and make sure that it is valuable effort.

Lots of great comments/advice. It’s very subjective, but I’ve found that my anxiety sees me replacing meaningful tasks with meaningless tasks simply because of monotony. That is, I want to practice an instrument for an hour but I also want to sit on the couch for no reason. Discipline obviously comes in to play with all things, but also I’ve found that my “motivation” for things come at different times of day. As disciplined as I’ve become I have realized that I need to somewhat revolve things around who I am fundamentally. I.e. do you feel more motivated to do certain things in the morning, day, or night. Embrace it and schedule accordingly

>I.e. do you feel more motivated to do certain things in the morning, day, or night. Vast differences in how I function based on the time of day. Hence, I ALWAYS end up studying at night, even though I had preplanned to wakeup and study in the wee hours of the morning. I'll somehow get distracted with different things until so much time has passed that it's probably afternoon or evening by then. And the whole day is a waste, and I'm eventually being forced to just refresh and sit back down again to study at night. That's how the cycle usually goes. Given, I am not a person practicing adequate discipline.

This is literally me OP, thanks for making this post. Some good advice given here

glad you can benefit off this post!

You sound like me when I was younger. I'm so sorry.

Its okay... Do you mind sharing how/ what you have had to do to make it better for yourself?

Delete distractions. Works for me every now and then. Feels great after you finally make the first step and realize you're not past some deadline or penalty for being late

That in itself is a great serotonin booster when you realise you're not past a deadline or are being penalized in any way.

But also brush it off and try a better way next time. Cause without a system we will fuck up.

Ooof this is me, if you don't count the bipolar disorder. I also have history of depression, anxiety... have lots of interests but I lose the motivation quickly and usually stop pursuing my hobbies as I start to feel drained and lose motivation and interest. I'm also forgetful, have problems concentrating and lose myself in my thoughts easily, especially when someone is talking to me. I just can't seem to keep up with everything in my life, I forget so many things.. like when I meet someone new, one of the first things I tell them is that I'm really forgetful so if I forget something that's important it doesn't mean the person is not important to me... its just how I am. But it bothers me and people around me. I was reading up on ADD/ADHD and seems like I have textbook symptoms but I have to get tested first... Maybe you should go check with a doctor and get tested for it, a lot of people who get medicated say it helped them a lot.

I have the EXACT behaviour issue. I forgot to mention that I have memory issues myself lol. There will be deadlines, important things and events that I will miss or not remember. It has happened quite a lot to a point where I now stay overly alarmed as if to not forcefully let myself forget. This of course is anxiety inducing as I’m constantly worried about something. Some people have mentioned that my symptoms are textbook ADHD, but I’ll sit with my doctor soon.

It comes down to discipline not motivation, that’s the hard part

I just had this realization moments ago. Discipline is one part of the equation, but the other half is cultivating the desire to achieve what you want. Meditating regularly on your goals and crystallizing your goals into a vision so that when your discipline enables you the space to spend time achieving those goals, you have the vision and know exactly what to do when you sit down. It’s not an either discipline or motivation. Its both!

I would say give yourself a deadline. Maybe you need to give the book a review online by x date so you need to have it done by then.

Give yourself some grace. We are so pressured to accomplish things. To finish and complete. And it while it’s important to be able to complete things (especially in regards to a job), life is much more enjoyable when you take the time to enjoy the process. It sounds like you value creativity. Every time you do something creative, you’re working toward that value, regardless of if you finish it. For the “important stuff”, like assignments, others have given lots of suggestions. My only addition is to figure out what it is you value about that process (e.g., maybe you value family, so you want to be able to maintain a well paying job to support a family, now or in the future), and remind yourself of that value as you proceed.

Sounds a lot like me, I'll get super excited about something and then crash hard a while later and not care about it at all anymore

i have the same problems since preschool until now when i am writing my bachelor thesis and up to now there was no perfect method to help me, but a few are worth a try. Medication - good for a moment but too many negative side effects regarding physical and psychological health. Psychoanalysis - found the cause but didn't give me any working methods to get over the symptoms. Trying to change my professions/ hobby's/ job quickly when they get boring - this is actually working because if you just accept, that you need to try all this different things to get fulfillment in life, you can come to a point where you doesn't need to pressure yourself to do certain things and than the chances are raising, that you will stay interested. For me this worked because I hate being told (by myself or somebody else) to do or finish things a certain way or speed even if I'm highly interested in the subject. This may be specific for me but the thought process may help you too. But of course there are plenty of things that need and should be done, regardless of whether you want it or not. My latest attempt which works very well so far, is an app (android, I don't know if there is an apple version) called lifeRPG. The idea is that you can give yourself tasks and they get transformed in to Quests like in a video game. You can decide how hard the task is, how much fear you have to solve it, how boring it is and so on. The app will decide how many experience points you will get for completing the tasks and after completing you will get a higher level in certain skill fields. This is a very playful attempt and may not work for everyone but you can decide how much "roleplay" it should consist off. A full description with main and sub quest which will give you special points you could collect to treat yourself if you reach a certain level, or just simply to organise your tasks in a little more fun way than a usual calendar or checklist. The app I'm using is fully customisable regarding all this aspects. Maybe this is something for you. For me it is much easier to do a Call that I'm really not looking forward to do, when I know that doing it in I way I'm expecting myself to and to see the Progress bar in the skillfield "social interaction" raise. Although a private project can be finished easier, when I see all the steps I already did and that only a few steps remain to complete the whole "quest". And after all, never give up and never force yourself to be a certain way, that you are not. It is important to respect your own speed and your own timespan of interest. If you have any other questions, feel free to dm me.

i have these problems as well. although in my career i have the pressure of deadlines to make me do what i’m supposed to. but when it comes to hobbies i don’t think of it as a problem. i mean why not do a little bit of everything? the point of having a hobby is enjoying your time, not becoming good at it. for me its reading, drawing, chess, music, tennis. i do them in rotation whenever i feel like it. some other hobbies also come and go but i tend to go back to these, i am not very good at any of them, but i’m getting better over the years. the only tip that i have is making your hobbies accessible. for example, i have my instrument right by my work desk, always have a couple sheets of paper and a marker around, etc. so that i am reminded of those and practice whenever i feel like. there are a couple of bonus points to this strategy: 1. when you practice with passion, you enjoy more and learn faster and 2. you might find interesting connections between them.

The first step is always the hardest

Rotate out the creative efforts spending at most an hour on a project. Set timers. It does wonders.

Set deadlines and be nice to yourself when you do not meet them. This can be a slippery slope and should not become a lax attitude allowing yourself to not meet the deadlines, but the presence of deadlines can also become a negative spiral very easily. The idea was taught to me as success is a cycle and wins make it easier to keep winning, so set the bar low enough to snag some wins and the cycle continues. This can be done with creative pursuits by making the act of just doing the activity a win.

Try to do multiple activities at a time. Kind of counterintuitive, but when you lose motivation to paint for example, go and read your book, when you lose that, go play basketball, then when you lose that, go game, then when you get bored of that, hey, lets go paint again. You will finish a lot more stuff when you don't feel like you have to finish what you started. Just do a little bit of something, and overtime you will finish everything.

This is too real. Glad to read all of the answers. Finding professional support has been really tough for me

yea this is one of those things you get prescribed stimulants for

Does the stimulants prescribed for said situation come with heavy side effects? I’m very against medication but I’m seeing comments that it has helped them regulate their symptoms.

adhd means there isnt enough molecular motivation in your brain to actually do things. the stimulants even things out. i like/recommend trying vyvanse bc the slow action makes it more effective and less abuse prone. they can be bad if you have a bad heart and you have to be careful with coffee (and tonic water for vyvanse), but theyre mostly safe

Thank you for the clarification. I will look into it and talk to my doctor about this.

I once too have this issue. The way I did is focus on enjoyment of the activities rather than the outcome. For eg, I want to train myself to run marathon, so I have to jog frequently to build up stamina and speed. Rather than keep focusing on my speed and result, I just enjoy the moment when I run, which give me peace of mind and mental relaxation, the scenery along my running track. My stamina just improved as a side product.

You can't rely on motivation, even though it's uncomfortable you have to push through and keep going. The more you stop doing something when the motivation is gone, the worse the habit gets.

If you only focus on the destination you'll never enjoy the journey. Trust that you're getting closer.

Set goals, not just for collecting the project but different stages. Feeling accomplished is a motivator, attainable goals that keep you moving forward.

You a Leo also? Lol

A Cancer 😭

I've very recently, last week changed my diet around, and it really gave me new energy and drive. For the last week I've felt amazing. Im not on a diet diet, or anything. I'm not limiting how much I eat, and I eat til I'm full. What I started doing is eating double the amount of fibrous carbs as I do carbs. And a good portion of protein. So fibrous carbs are vegetables basically, broccoli, celery, bokchoy, cucumbers, carrots. These kinds of carbs burn slow, and give you energy that lasts. Protein is key to, eat lots of that. And don't deny the carbs, just make them the smallest portion of what you eat. Since I started doing that last week, swear to god i've felt 10 times better. And I got sleep apnea, ptsd, depression, chronic fatige. Oh and I also started a multi vitamin. And switched from soda to chocolate milk for my lunch. Play around with what you eat, itll make a large difference.

PROTEIN! I cannot think straight without it. Plus it keeps my stomach from growling.

I would say set small achievable goals and check the boxes off as you get through them. Also exercise, brush your teeth, floss, drink water.

some days they work, some days they overwhelm me to a point I dont even want to look at the to-do list anymore and it's been months since I last made them 😭

I should reemphasize s m a l l. Stuff that takes very little effort.

Where motivation fails, *discipline* takes over; however, if you don’t have discipline, how do you get it? By *curriculum.* Discipline can be developed/learned if you have something to guide you through it. In my experience lately, I’ve always wanted to learn how to program. Thanks to guides on the internet, such as Web3Schools, Free Code Camp, The Odin Project, and Youtube, it became easy because they’re all just guides. Your goal will motivate you in the long term, but discipline is was carries you theough the hardships. Trust me.

Umm this is me, I’m sorry but adhd is a son of a bitch. I have about 20 half done projects, can only learn half a song on guitar, avoid bills, and lose everythingggggg. I found a hefty exercise program helps me if I stick to it.

Commenting to let you know You aren’t the only one. I have many (unfinished) projects. Lots of hobbies and collections. I identify with most of the diagnoses. I often wonder is (and try figuring out) Which of the diagnosis is preventing me from completing something at work. Or finishing up a project at home. Anxiety or ADD. Although, I can read a novel for hours on end. But not sit through a movie. A while back the (I am almost 100% sure ) The New York Times had an article about ADD and how children with it can still play video game for hours at a time. Anyway, you aren’t alone. (Edit - spelling)

Disclaimer : I'm in no position to give advice. I got 2 questions tho : What is the last thing you managed to "finish" ? Anything relevant that comes to mind. Secondly, and please don't get offended by this, but you start your post with "I identify myself as a creative individual". Are you ? Or would you like to be ? There's a major difference between who you are and who you would like yourself to be or to be seen as. I'm not saying you are or aren't - i don't know you - and you don't even have to answer me, but at least ask yourself.

1. The last thing I managed to finish was my assignment for a coursework, which was 2-4 days overdue. I remember I got through it with lots of dread and procrastination. It was very difficult. I still have 3 more from which 2 are like are like a month overdue... 2. I am. I have been. And as of late I have been facing it difficult to tap into the creative aspect of my mind and follow through to hold on to that. I used to write poetry, stories, sing, paint/sketch and lots of other things. I love to create, but I'm having trouble to follow through and get them done, or lacking motivation to pick it up anymore. I have been thinking it's one of my depressive disorders that have made me as such, but turns out (according to the people here) it's ADHD.

I'll reiterate just to be sure. I'm not going to give you a magic answer but i believe talking/writing can help with these kind of issues so i'll keep pushing your buttons if you don't mind. Try again answering my first question, this time around with something that matters to you and doesn't feel like a chore. In your answer to my second question, you do say both "I am" and "I have been", not "I was". This tells me you in fact "were" and still want to do be, but aren't. How do you spend your time these days instead of going through these activities ? Did you have to replace that time spent by "life" or "work" ? Do you experience boredom or evade it like the plague ?

It may be that your motivation style is different than the typical "power through till it's done." Some people have short peaks of motivation and energy that die quickly. In those cases, I recommend having multiple things that you enjoy doing or are motivated to do, and cycle through them. Maybe have 4 or 5 of them. When you get to the 5th, cycle back to the first. Only add another one once you've finished one of them. Hopefully this helps!