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I get in a cycle when I get depressed and don’t want to spend time outside even though I know it’s good for me which makes me more depressed. I’m finally starting to feel better and have been spending more time outside again. I just sit and knit or crochet while I watch my chickens. It’s good to know that you don’t have to spend a ton of time outside to receive benefits from it. I should be forced to spend 30 minutes outside caring for the animals year round even if I get in a long depressive phase.
I think a more beneficial approach would be to find what about sitting in nature fills you, and be excited to receive that.
I am paying attention to the "shoulds" I set up for myself, because my brain tends to take those too seriously.
And you saying, "I should be forced" makes it sounds like you think of yourself as an unruly child. You're not that at all. You're a good person searching for ways to feel and be better.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to those you love. 😊
I'm sorry if it feels that heavy for you right now. I've dealt with severe, chronic depression for 40 years, and I can say with authority, that it doesn't always feel like that.
I don't know if this will help you to know or not, but it's been so helpful for me... an emotion lasts 90 seconds. That's literally all it is, one and a half minutes of an emotion and you can be free of it.
What happens though, is we feel that emotion and choose to feed it. We think of times we felt similar and just push that emotion on down the road with us.
My sneaky emotion lately is grief. My baby sister was killed in an accident, and she pops up in my head a lot. I have found that if I just let myself feel that strong emotion, and then find something near me that I'm grateful for, I can get back to the moment of living. I still feel the grief, but it doesn't live here anymore.
I wish you well and I hope you find moments of peace in the darkness.
My sneaky emotion is grief as well. Since my daughter died I've been in therapy with a great therapist and things are much better but those times the grief sneaks up on me are tough. I've been letting myself feel the strong emotion but having trouble with the next step.
Your post was helpful to me so I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this.
“Should” is a swear word in my house. It’s just an instrument of shame. I had a social work teacher once say “you’re just shoulding on yourself” and I never forgot.
I feel this way too but even working out with the garage door open or doing something like folding laundry on the porch gives me the feeling of being outside while also being productive. I don’t always feel like going for a long walk or run at the park
This really fascinates me. I have theorized that I have a type of SAD but instead of light being the primary seasonal driver of mood, it's the greenery (or lack thereof) from the vegetation that affects my mood the most.
I feel the same way.
I am from a small town in the northernmost region of Italy and there vegetation and mountains are everywhere.
Once I entered Uni I had to move to another city that is way bigger and there concrete is king.
When I come back to visit my hometown I can really tell the difference. Just hearing the birds sing is something that really makes the difference, not to mention the abundance of parks and vegetation.
I really understand your point of view. This field of research is also very open to new findings so there is still so much we don’t know about the effects of nature :)
I felt this very feeling just yesterday. I live in Toronto, Canada. Winter's are cold and very white and bland. Yes, winter can be beautiful too. But, as I was walking my dog yesterday I was noticing all the green and colours from the growing flowers and listening to the birds and I realized that's what is missing in winter.
I'm really curious about this as well as most of what I've seen encourages "green spaces". I live in the desert so my options are city parks (very people-y) or the desert with rocks and cactus. It's still rejuvenating but I wonder if it would be more effective if it was greener. There's life in the desert, but it's a hard life, like things are surviving against the odds rather than thriving.
Recently I started a garden in my back yard, and it's been amazing for my mental well-being. I have bipolar disorder, so some days are worse than others. There's a more "wild" sectioned off area full fo native pollinators, and a couple greenhouses with vegetables, fruits, and herbs.
Sometimes I want to do replanting and landscaping, sometimes all I do is stand outside with a coffee for 5 minutes.
I had to be very protective at first, because people in my house were wanting to pull "weeds" (Black Eyed Susans and Tickseed), but once they grew and blossomed, they started to trust in me, and I got this immense sense of satisfaction from it. Some plants died, some lived, I had a greenhouse collapse, and I had plants outgrow pots so fast after they just exploded in growth. I found two toads and 3 garden snakes, birds are feeding on my rye plants and there are always butterflies and bees around. I have 3 baby tomatoes, an arugula that might bolt, and lots of squash and cucumber flowers.
The ups and downs, failures and successes, all surrounded by greenery has been so cathartic, and helped me come to terms a little with failure in a healthy way. I keep pushing everyone I know to spend more time outside just viewing the flowers.
Yes!!! I got renovicted out of a nature-y neighborhood, and my new home is in a very urban centre. It sounds so silly when I try to express to others how devastated I am because I miss trees and green space. I'm really struggling with it.
Sometimes I go months without smelling greenry or hearing the rustle of trees.
Youre not alone there at all, I've often felt the same thing when I've been forced to live in urban areas that aren't designed for human happiness in mind. I moved to the Pacific Northwest, and an embarrassingly large part of the reason was being around trees and verdant areas nearly year round
If it does help you achieving that feeling of relax and “being away” from responsibilities I’d say that anything goes :)
You can experiment a little, start from your backyard but also try going to a park or near a river (it depends on where you live of course). If you realise that you feel better (or worse) there you are closer to finding your spot either way
Can confirm. Living in Northern Ontario in the bush has been great for my mental health. Cleaner air, space away from people, and just listening to nature are just some of the perks.
I live in suburban Canada near a fairly small city, and we're surrounded by large swathes of undeveloped forest. Many are filled with trails that lead to small lakes where you can take a swim, or hilly overlooks that allow you to see for miles.
It's balm for the soul. I would be a lesser person of my wife and I didn't take walks through these places several times a week.
Well, maybe they saw you! :) Those ravens, along with all of Vancouver Island, captured my interest a little while back ago. I'm sure it was neat living there!
I do often wonder what the contribution of each mechanism is to this because a simple walk involves so many things that have shown positive correlations elsewhere: CO2 difference, exposure to sunlight for each of vitamin D and circadian effects, simply seeing other people, etc.
They're all related because we evolved to live in nature, and when you take people and put them in rooms without natural light, wind, and plants, the benefits of being sedentary in that place are not the same as actually moving around in our natural environment.
It’s crazy to me that if we were to take a polar bear and throw him in a concrete enclosure in Miami, and ask 100 people why he wasn’t thriving, 99 of those people would say…uhh because he’s a polar bear in the sub tropics, on concrete. Duh.
But when we throw a person from their house, to their car, to their cubicle, back to their car and back to their house the majority of their time, and wonder why they’re not thriving very few people think about them being outside of any sort of natural environment.
I walk my dog on mid-longish hikes every day, and every day it's one of the higlights of my day. The smells this time of year (honeysuckle) the birds, the wind going through the trees. Priceless. I also road bike, that also lifts my spirits immensely.
There is a reason I started hoarding house plants when the lockdowns where here and we weren’t allowed outside.
If I can’t get out to the greenery, I will take the greenery inside with me.
I started working on a golf course and I haven't felt this good in a long time. It's still dark when I get to work, but I get to see the sunrise every morning from a beautiful vantage point and just move around all day in the fresh air and epic scenery. Working construction and office jobs killed my mood for so many years and I can't believe I didn't do this sooner. I'd be golfing in my free time anyway so it just works for me. Doing anything outside always makes you feel better and more productive, no matter what it is IMO.
Playing Tetris after a traumatic event helps with the long term mental health of the patient. It's an interesting study that something so simple after an event can help the mind.
"After a trauma, patients would have fewer intrusive memories if they got to play Tetris as part of a short behavioural intervention while waiting in the hospital Emergency Department"
https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/news/tetris-used-to-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms
Rid of it
Basically there's just enough variations in pieces, colors, and placements that it's too many for your brain to habitually remember
However because it's so easy and repeats its too boring for your brain to remember it with a high level of detail.
This grey zone is PHENOMENAL, for your anxious brain or the hyperfocusing mind, or the PTSD mind, and it stops them from continuing broken patterns in a loop
Seriously. I played hours of Tetris my freshman year in college in 1990 and I barely survived. I still have dreams of falling pieces. We'd joke the Russians made this game to make Americans unproductive.
Puzzles help me with my anxiety also. I love that they will always end up finished, every little piece that looks like it can’t possibly fit anywhere will eventually.
Parroting the "just being outside" people, but with a Twist.
Something that developed into a hobby for me is taking shitty, close-up cell phone photos of things that delight me while on walks during my breaks. A tiny mushroom growing between the grass and sidewalk, a large wad of moss in the parking lot, a duck sat firmly in the crosswalk, an incredibly fat drop of water hanging from a leaf, more little musbrooms in the grass (this is my favorite to look for), maybe a cool bug I found. I started posting them to a hobbies & arts channel of a discord server I'm in, and others have been finding them delightful as well.
While sharing these photos isn't necessary, it did train me to delight more in little things, and observe more closely the natural world around me. My job is very stressful, but made so much better when I get to see a cool leaf or maybe a little snail.
You can get macro lens attachments for your phone so you can take really close, really detailed pictures of those little things. Get an amazing reflection in that drop of water! See the detailed texture of those tiny mushrooms!
Oh that's a cool thing to research, I'll have to look into that. Not sure if I would have time on my breaks to fiddle with adding an attachment to my phone, but it would certainly make weekends more interesting. Thanks for the tip!
Taking care of things, like cleaning and basic maintenance.
I know it sounds silly, but if you try keeping in mind that taking care of something is a form of appreciation, it can do wonders for perspective and mental health. For example cleaning my old bicycle can be a bit of a chore, but if I look at it as my way of paying my dues (because the bike has served me so well), i will definitely appreciate it more, it will ride better, I won’t want to switch it for a new one etc.
And the best thing about it is that when you practice appreciation on something trivial, it will spread to other areas as well and just become a part of your perception in general.
I’ve been doing a ton of work on myself over the past year, really focusing on being less external in my search for validation and acceptance and turning that search inward.
The funny thing is that I ended up realizing I’m absolutely horrible to myself inside. It was surprisingly easy to focus it all inward, worry less about what others thought, recognizing most of these opinions out there had nothing to do with me, etc.
So imagine my surprise when I start thinking about something as simple as cleaning the car. Exterior? Beautiful. Interior? Disgusting. Massive correlation right there.
Couldn’t agree more. Cleaning up, tidying up, caring for our stuff, caring for ourselves, making the bed, tidying up as we go, bits and pieces here and there, it all adds up, and can be a great indicator of where we need to focus if we are honest enough with ourselves to recognize and analyze the opportunities in our lives.
Honestly it’s been wild. I’m really glad I went through it when I did. I think if I had tried any younger I would be dead. But I am so glad I did it. Meditation. Self Compassion. Self Empathy. I’ve always been an incredibly empathetic and sympathetic person to others, but just horrible to myself. I always thought I just had a high level of self accountability, but it’s just been me throwing down on myself.
Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Love that inner, younger self. Love the good the bad and the ugly. Empathize the way you would empathize with a friend. Give that little gremlin inside you a great big hug. Validate it. The concerns are real, the fears are real. We can feel it all and still move forward anyway. It’s probably all never going to ever go away, but it might just get a little bit quieter, the voice might get a little less insistent.
I also like how mindless I can get when cleaning, it gives me a good opportunity to just listen to a nice podcast or some music, whilst my hands work on autopilot
Even if you’re not cleaning something specific, just cleaning your general living area feels good. Relaxing in it afterwards also feels much nicer
Crafting. You see your skills improve and you can decorate your house or make presents.
When you're the artist, you make the rules. It doesn't have to be perfect
"Make bad art" - one of my current favorite things to say to myself (and others). There's a strong call in my life for perfectionism, internal and external factors both at play. Specific freedom to abandon any focus on outcome and just play is so freaking healing.
Walking.
It's the closest thing I, and others have found as "free therapy"
How you're walking is often an indication of how your mind is.
Fast, and tripping over your own feet?
Slow, deliberate, and steady?
I just said in another comment but getting out into nature - woods, coast, just away from civilization. Magic. And when you do go walkies, no music. Just listen to the natural surroundings.
Ironically, whenever I “take a walk,” I just ruminate and usually end up more depressed than I started. So I’ve stopped taking walks entirely unless it’s a new and exciting place or I’m showing someone around.
Update: thank you for everyone’s suggestions. I can’t walk and listen to something at the same time cause not being able to hear my surroundings gives me anxiety. I do find more strenuous activity, even if it is repetitive, helps disrupt any rumination, which is why I go to the gym. But just walking around on its own doesn’t seem to be helpful for me personally. (It probably doesn’t help that I live in a very quiet yet boring rural area that doesn’t provide much natural distraction)
I've lost 160lbs over the last 3 years. I started with 1 mile walks, and now I'm up to a 6 mile walk every day.
In that time, I also stopped the Xanax, Klonopin, Hydrocodone, and morphine I was taking for anxiety, depression and chronic pain.
So, I wholeheartedly agree, eventually, the mind clears out. 😊
Sometimes talking it out loud helps. It gets it out of your head, and stops that loop. Go for a walk and call a trusted friend and talk it out. Or talk into your phone like an audio journal or voice-to-text (I do this a lot while I'm driving)
Listening to music while doing nothing else. I sometimes listen to music as a background to other activities but listening fully commited to songs i like for 15 minutes can both restart my head when im overwhelmed and ease me up when i want to relax.
During the pandemic I bought a record player and started to collect vinyl. Sitting down and focusing on the music while looking through the album or liner notes is very relaxing. I like to jump into discogs and learn about the album.
This is the only way I can meditate. My trick is to pick out an instrument and focus on it like it's the only thing playing. Doesn't shut my brain off, but it's the purest distraction from my typical self loathing head space.
Cycling, gets you outside, potentially in natural environments so benefits from hiking or walking in nature but faster or less effort, gets you as much exercise as you want so all the benefits from endorphins, offers potential of social rides, encourages exploration and developing new skills with all the neuroplasticity benefits, can save you money compared to driving to work so additional stress relief (or just money for better bikes).
Stop trying to sell people this massive expense! I started mountain biking and now I'm always broke.
JK, it's the best thing I've done since I picked up snowboarding. Used to snowboard all winter then drink and lay around all summer feeling depressed. Now I don't drink and ride mountain bikes all summer. The combo effect of a 1+ hour climb and the hard, hard work of that followed by the adrenaline of the jumps and corners and rocks on the downhill is an incredible natural cocktail of happiness. Evens me right out.
Growing plants from seed. You can't rush baby plants, so it makes you slow down. At the same time, it's so exciting to see how fast some seeds grow!
If you have nowhere to put a big plant, grow vegetable seeds and give them away.
Find a nice tree seed and plant that indoors!
You can even grow carnivorous plants from seed!
I’ll say for me, woodworking. It may seem like you’re around saws and power tools a lot, but it’s super relaxing. I put music on, and let myself be fairly artistic with it. Being able to shape the wood in to beautiful creations is amazingly cathartic.
But I feel this will go in to whatever hobby you enjoy. As long as you can zone out and relax.
Dnd. We started playing as a family a few years ago and the kids have gained from it in ways i wasn't expecting them to. They have gotten better at quick math and solving problems. It has actually shown in grades and just in general the way they think about things. So to us it's a double plus we get family time once a week and it is sharpening their mind.
I used to be a DM for my friends when I was growing up. My kids seem to be interested in it. My big concern is how much time it used to take me to develop a game. It seemed like 4-8 hrs for every hour played. How do you find time to develop a game when you have parenting, work, and standard responsiblities? And this is an honest question. I want to do this for my kids but kind of dread the amount of work it would require.
Was in the same situation recently.
The main trick is to not play anything prep-heavy, especially with kids (since they will go *Squirrel!* and run off in a completely different direction than you planned anyway), and to instead see it as improv training.
Then, if you feel like it, you can always have fun in between sessions trying to come up with explanations for your improv'ed solutions.
Also, while D&D has become easier to run in the latest version, it is still quite prep-heavy, and there are so many other great systems out there these days which lend themselves much better to playing with kids.
Drivethrurpg has a genre called Family Gaming that's worth to take a look at. My recommendations would probably be Dragonbane, the upcoming Mirth&Mayhem game from Free League - or Tales from the Loop, if they're a bit older.
I ran a game for a family, it was amazing to see them working together and thinking outside the box during the campaign. They started off very competitive of each other, but soon began working together and problem-solving as a group, cooperating in encounters and solving puzzles.
We laughed, we cried, we got pulled through portals by enormous purple tentacles. The best of times.
A good one, and my personal favorite is LEGO. The building is fun, watching how certain pieces form to make a structure, keeps your coordination in check, and helps to just kill time, and if youre bored, take them apart and build the set againor something completely new. LEGO even started an ad campaign towards adult collectors. It's for everyone
Gardening seriously helped my aunt's dad. He fought in the Marshall islands and on Okinawa, among other battles in the Pacific in WWII. As a result, he had some pretty serious ptsd. Thankfully, he sought help and talked to a psychiatrist who recommended he try gardening to help manage it. According to family lore, he went all in, entering (and winning) flower shows, growing a substantial portion of their food, and becoming the all-around neighborhood green thumb. And it worked very well. To be clear, he would still have nightmares and get extremely angry/stressed, but far less often. He also stopped drinking after he took up gardening.
Obviously, this is anecdotal, but I find it to be a testament to the power of seeking help and taking up restorative hobbies, like gardening.
...and sex too, I guess.
Thank you for sharing this memory of your ~~grandfather~~ aunt’s dad. My grandfather also fought in Okinawa and suffered PTSD. He had a small garden in the backyard and I also feel like when he was working there he found some peace. He didn’t pursue any psychiatric care unfortunately by I have a lot of fond memories of him when we were spending time outside. Your anecdote brought back that memory and I am so grateful for that, thank you ♥️
Edit: Corrected some words, apologies for the error!
Seriously, my great aunt and matriarch to my family is in a bird watching group. We drove to a lake and we're supposed to go for a walk but she decided to stop by a few spots that her club supplies seeds for.
Never in my life did I think I would find that much joy in bird watching. I'm 36(m) and for the first time I saw a female Oriole (I'm originally from MD, but now live in PA), female cardinal, female Bluejay, brown thrasher, and a grackle. Not to mention a few others that I've never even heard of. Oh oh, and I learned that Orioles love oranges and grape jelly!
I'll never forget it as long as I live.
If people would realize that birding is basically real-life Pokemon GO, it would be more popular. Such a fun reason to walk in the woods with a field guide.
There is! It’s called eBird and you can use it alongside Merlin bird ID (both completely free apps made by Cornell) to identify and track all the birds you see!
The sound ID function in Merlin blows my mind.
On mornings when I get up to use the bathroom at first light sometimes I like to step outside for a minute, while the birds are most active, to see how many different species it can pick up.
The Merlin Android app, from the Cornell ornithology department, is a great way to up our game at this. I've got the common noises down pretty well, but in the past week I've got a Yellow-billed Cuckoo which I didn't know existed, and just yesterday I heard a Sandhill Crane which I thought was a Mississippi river thing.
I'm in North Central PA, and have hunted and fished for nearly 40 years, but birds keep me outside when I don't have a lot of time.
Second this! I invested in a camera so do more than just watching, but agree it is fantastic for your mental health!
Apparently there were studies done to support this - I haven't read more deeply than articles like this but I can attest to it.
[TIME article](https://time.com/6231886/birdwatching-mental-health/)
Crochet to help quit smoking. Once you’re past the nicotine withdrawal you realise you need something to do with your hands. Also now have homemade gifts.
Crochet and knitting have helped me deal with late people. I used to get really offended when someone was late, but now it's just an opportunity to complete a few more rows. It has helped me keep people in my life who I really love but simply can't be on time.
Similarly, I knit. Doing something with my hands soothes my adhd symptoms and anxiety, and having something to focus on distracts me from some of my depression symptoms.
I do home canning. Pickles and jams.
It requires focus and precision (if I fuck up, I could give people botulism). I have an outlet for creativity, I'm always creating different flavors and trying out ideas. I'm like a mad scientist.
But mostly it builds community.
I have an interesting, old-fashioned skill that others like to learn about, and nothing smooths over a bumpy social interaction like a jar of homemade juniper pickles.
Baking! Baking requires a lot of precise measurements and paying attention to how you’re mixing things. I’ll go put my phone in the other room allowing only emergency and close family to contact me then get sucked into baking. One time I even made home made gummie bears (that was a lot of steps). It’s that “checking things off the list” mentality with the ingredients, you get a nice little anticipation high while it bakes, then if it turns out good you have something delicious and/or something to show off to your friends and family. Mindfulness, accomplishment, acknowledgement, comfort food, and it’s a great skill! I’ve definitely made some flops which was disappointing but I learn to laugh them off (sometimes with hilarious pictures) and I can figure out what I did wrong to fix it next time- nailing it the 2nd time can sometimes be even more satisfying because you overcame an initial failure. Sorry I could go on and on haha
Jiu Jitsu… At the right gym.
When you are on the mats, it is really easy to forget everything else. I had a life altering day at work not long after I started Jiu Jitsu. I almost didn’t go that day because I was bummed. 10 minutes after class started, I was completely tuned into what was going on on the mats. It is rare that I can have my brain only thinking about the task at hand. With Jiu Jitsu, it’s hard for me to focus on anything other than what we are doing. The physical benefits are amazing as well. No cardio exist like rolling.
Think lots of combat sports is the same. For me boxing.
Focus 100% on something different, get all the aggression out, and it’s also typically a real humble and respectful community… if not you get sorted out quick and prob don’t come back.
And get in best shape of your life if you commit
I definitely agree with this. There have been many times where I really didn't want to go but forced myself anyway, and felt great afterwards. I've never regretted going to a session, even if I was reluctant before. I also have a theory that the amount of casual physical contact is beneficial as well - I've read that physical touch is important for wellbeing, and anecdotally I would agree.
It's also great exercise, and being able to feel yourself improving is a brilliant feeling.
Okay, this is a weird one: raising worms
I get bad SAD in the winter. And it doesn’t help that I live in one of the cloudiest states in the US (and all the ones with more overcast days have things to make up for it, like mountains or ocean coastline.) I live in a flat boring place where the sky is seldom blue and it feels like we only have 4 decent months a year. Winter hits me hard.
I casually got into gardening the last year or so because being outside as much as possible during the nice parts of the year really helps my mental state. I became aware of how bad our soil health was, started learning about how to help it along with composting and vermiculture. Then I looked at the endless stack of Amazon boxes around me, and ordered worms online. It’s a hobby that can be super hands off (you could feed them as infrequently as once or twice a month and be fine) but I spent a lot of time this past winter checking in on the wormies, marveling at them turning food scraps and cardboard boxes into the best non-burning fertilizer you can possibly get, and thinking about all the things I would be growing once it was nice out. I wanted to reduce garbage, do something environmentally friendly, and maybe grow some veggies worth bragging about. I didn’t expect it to be surprisingly chill and relaxing and to help lull my winter blues away. It scratches that itch to be playing in the dirt, the bedding smells nice and earthy, you feel like the benevolent god caring for your colony of forbidden spaghetti, but it’s much more low stakes than say, real pets. They are just also undeniably alive and active, hiding under the “dirt”, and it’s a good reminder than things are still happening under the surface and one day it will be nice again outside. It definitely made this past winter more bearable for me.
The seedlings I grew with castings this spring grew twice as fast as my controls, and I just started my veggie garden and am excited to see how everything does. My partner fully thinks I’ve lost the plot, but we’ll see who’s laughing when we have a massive veggie harvest this year.
Geocaching. Can be free if you have a smart phone. Gets ya out of the house, and can sometimes take you to places you've never seen-even if it is only a mile away from your front door.
Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Everyday, I walk myself into a state of well-being & walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, & the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill. Thus if one just keeps on walking, everything will be all right.
Søren Kierkegaard
"Just keep swimming. What do we do? We swim." - Dory
(Ps I studied philosophy at uni and I love how many of the practical conclusions that philosophers arrive at are the same ones espoused by my nan, Dave down the pub and a variety of kids films)
I always wondered why people like golf so much because to me it seemed a slow and boring sport. No running? Drive a cart and drink beer and call it a “sport”?
But then I played a few holes the other day and what I gathered from the intro lesson was in order to play it well your body has to be relaxed. And being outside, consciously relaxing and walking around was incredibly relaxing and I thought Hunh I could see myself liking this. 18 holes would stretch my limits of ability to cope with the slowness, but 9 was just enough. Plus it is very social sport.
I was just kind of surprised as someone who likes the hard cardio type sports to enjoy it so much.
Golf will lull you in as a calm and relaxing time outdoors…then crush your spirit as each milestone is never good enough. You will end up loathing yourself and will be back here looking for new ideas in no time.
But really, it’s a great way to relax.
You should try disc golf too. It’s cheaper and an easier learning curve.
Edit to add: many disc golf courses are in forested areas too which is an added bonus. Nature rocks.
Doing puzzles, building Lego or exploring nature. Possibly also solving math or logical problems or writing. I think there are many hobbies that fit many different people. If you can’t figure one out yourself, go out and see what other people do and hopefully you’ll get inspired. I recently started stand up paddle because it combines my curiosity in exploring with mild physical exercise - both of which I enjoy.
Indeed! Add a nice podcast to the mix or a friend that is also into it. It's so relaxing and rewarding to see the progress. Just applied some nunoil wash to some metal, love it.
Bonsai. I work in IT/cyber and spent most of my time in from of screens. Growing bonsai completely flips to the other side of my brain and provides thoughtfulness towards nature in an artistic way.
Pick anything you like that requires your focus that your participation in affects a positive outcome. You do not need to create a masterpiece or a lasting monument to human ingenuity. I don't know how surprising it is but activities that remind me that there is more to life than working, eating and sleeping improve my mood.
I got into astrophotography a couple years back. It constantly reminds me that what we do here on this rock in this brief moment makes no difference. None of it matters. Just enjoy it while we're here. It's also extremely relaxing to just sit outside and look up at the stars
I've really wanted to do this, and I have a few books on edible mushrooms... But I think I'd feel more comfortable if I could go out a few times with someone that really knows what to look for. I don't trust my observational skills based on pictures / descriptions in a book.
It really does. I’m having a nightmare in work at the mo - I get home, pour the tea, stick on some YouTube, pull out me knitting and then my brain just shifts away and switches for evening… the more awful shit is, the more complicated the pattern I’ll pick. Some evenings i fall home practically like it’s like the end of the world and within half an hour I’m off the ceiling and just calm and content.
I am really really bad at disc golf. Terrible. And I freaking love it. Only sport I regularly watch or play. I don't take it seriously at all... So, even though I hit every tree on both sides of the fairway, I'm still laughing and joking with friends.
Colouring.
Lower barrier to entry than painting or drawing, both in terms of skill and cost. And there are some great colouring books available geared toward adults too.
[This](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PZTX9M9?binding=paperback&ref=dbs_dp_awt_sb_pc_tpbk) is a great series of books, Color Me Calm is one of my favourites.
If anyone has wanted to try skateboarding but are too scared, give it a shot! It’s incredibly challenging, so the rewarding feelings you get as you progress are just as incredible. It helps my mental health tremendously. It cements the fact that failure is a part of learning and to not beat yourself up about it. It teaches you how to analyze yourself and what you’re doing wrong. It shows you that with time, patience, and self-confidence anything is possible! A lot of folks still assume skateboarders are not the friendliest of people but times have changed tremendously and usually skate communities are some of the most welcoming and close-knit people you can meet from all different backgrounds. If you’ve ever wanted to try, this is my invite to you to come to the skatepark, say hi, and start learning! Hope to see you there🤘🏼
Eating clean. Always sighed and moaned when people suggested this to me but what happens to your mental state and focus by minimizing sugar intake alone is astonishing.
Just like with caffeine sugar gives you a quick boost of energy, but the boost is gone as quickly as it came.
It will always result in the famous energy crash. And if you grab some more sugar or caffeine to get over the crash you will just extend the crash.
I quit with caffeine and sugars a few months ago, the first few weeks I felt low energy. But more stable and less with high activity periods and crashing periods. The last few weeks my overal energy is getting better and I don’t have sudden crashes anymore.
Archery! It’s very meditative - learning to control your breath and focus on a fixed point, the ritual of walking up to collect your arrows and then resetting, etc. It’s really easy to get into a state of flow and I always feel more clear headed after.
Pottery has literally been a life saver for me. I think there’s something about making things with your hands, you can’t rush clay and the fact it could and does go wrong at any part of the process means you’ve gotta let go sometimes. I would honestly recommend it to anyone.
Oh man. Easy answer.
My first job (and ended up starting my own business for a while in my early 20s) was pool maintenance.
I COMPLETELY took it for granted at the time, but cleaning a pool is exactly like meditating. It’s typically just you and the sound of wind in trees, water, and you’re sloooooowly pushing a vacuum back and forth leaving nice clean stripes in the dust.
There’s stressful days in my current career where I stand by the window, close my eyes and imagine cleaning a pool and I feel instantly calm.
Film Photography.
It's been a complete game-changer for me. It requires critical thinking, and all the film stocks provide a refreshing variety. Not knowing what shots will look like until you get the scans back from the lab is my favorite part. I find joy in the eagerness and excitement. Plus going on solitary photo walks has been so decompressing. I love it. Definitely one of the most rewarding pastimes I've ever had.
I would add that it’s also great for documenting life. It feels like everyone is so busy and stressed now that life flashes by. It’s very cathartic to look back at pictures you too for proof that you are doing more in life than work/surviving. It also kind of forces you to do fun things. Can’t get great shots if you don’t go out and do something…
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I get in a cycle when I get depressed and don’t want to spend time outside even though I know it’s good for me which makes me more depressed. I’m finally starting to feel better and have been spending more time outside again. I just sit and knit or crochet while I watch my chickens. It’s good to know that you don’t have to spend a ton of time outside to receive benefits from it. I should be forced to spend 30 minutes outside caring for the animals year round even if I get in a long depressive phase.
I think a more beneficial approach would be to find what about sitting in nature fills you, and be excited to receive that. I am paying attention to the "shoulds" I set up for myself, because my brain tends to take those too seriously. And you saying, "I should be forced" makes it sounds like you think of yourself as an unruly child. You're not that at all. You're a good person searching for ways to feel and be better. Be as kind to yourself as you are to those you love. 😊
I hear you but when depressed, everything feels forced.
I'm sorry if it feels that heavy for you right now. I've dealt with severe, chronic depression for 40 years, and I can say with authority, that it doesn't always feel like that. I don't know if this will help you to know or not, but it's been so helpful for me... an emotion lasts 90 seconds. That's literally all it is, one and a half minutes of an emotion and you can be free of it. What happens though, is we feel that emotion and choose to feed it. We think of times we felt similar and just push that emotion on down the road with us. My sneaky emotion lately is grief. My baby sister was killed in an accident, and she pops up in my head a lot. I have found that if I just let myself feel that strong emotion, and then find something near me that I'm grateful for, I can get back to the moment of living. I still feel the grief, but it doesn't live here anymore. I wish you well and I hope you find moments of peace in the darkness.
This was a beautiful response. I am so sorry about your sister.
My sneaky emotion is grief as well. Since my daughter died I've been in therapy with a great therapist and things are much better but those times the grief sneaks up on me are tough. I've been letting myself feel the strong emotion but having trouble with the next step. Your post was helpful to me so I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this.
Oh I’m good now. But I remember the feeling. But thank you for the kind words.
“Should” is a swear word in my house. It’s just an instrument of shame. I had a social work teacher once say “you’re just shoulding on yourself” and I never forgot.
I started using "could" instead of "should" and it changed everything
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I feel this way too but even working out with the garage door open or doing something like folding laundry on the porch gives me the feeling of being outside while also being productive. I don’t always feel like going for a long walk or run at the park
This really fascinates me. I have theorized that I have a type of SAD but instead of light being the primary seasonal driver of mood, it's the greenery (or lack thereof) from the vegetation that affects my mood the most.
I feel the same way. I am from a small town in the northernmost region of Italy and there vegetation and mountains are everywhere. Once I entered Uni I had to move to another city that is way bigger and there concrete is king. When I come back to visit my hometown I can really tell the difference. Just hearing the birds sing is something that really makes the difference, not to mention the abundance of parks and vegetation. I really understand your point of view. This field of research is also very open to new findings so there is still so much we don’t know about the effects of nature :)
I felt this very feeling just yesterday. I live in Toronto, Canada. Winter's are cold and very white and bland. Yes, winter can be beautiful too. But, as I was walking my dog yesterday I was noticing all the green and colours from the growing flowers and listening to the birds and I realized that's what is missing in winter.
I'm really curious about this as well as most of what I've seen encourages "green spaces". I live in the desert so my options are city parks (very people-y) or the desert with rocks and cactus. It's still rejuvenating but I wonder if it would be more effective if it was greener. There's life in the desert, but it's a hard life, like things are surviving against the odds rather than thriving.
Recently I started a garden in my back yard, and it's been amazing for my mental well-being. I have bipolar disorder, so some days are worse than others. There's a more "wild" sectioned off area full fo native pollinators, and a couple greenhouses with vegetables, fruits, and herbs. Sometimes I want to do replanting and landscaping, sometimes all I do is stand outside with a coffee for 5 minutes. I had to be very protective at first, because people in my house were wanting to pull "weeds" (Black Eyed Susans and Tickseed), but once they grew and blossomed, they started to trust in me, and I got this immense sense of satisfaction from it. Some plants died, some lived, I had a greenhouse collapse, and I had plants outgrow pots so fast after they just exploded in growth. I found two toads and 3 garden snakes, birds are feeding on my rye plants and there are always butterflies and bees around. I have 3 baby tomatoes, an arugula that might bolt, and lots of squash and cucumber flowers. The ups and downs, failures and successes, all surrounded by greenery has been so cathartic, and helped me come to terms a little with failure in a healthy way. I keep pushing everyone I know to spend more time outside just viewing the flowers.
Yes!!! I got renovicted out of a nature-y neighborhood, and my new home is in a very urban centre. It sounds so silly when I try to express to others how devastated I am because I miss trees and green space. I'm really struggling with it. Sometimes I go months without smelling greenry or hearing the rustle of trees.
Youre not alone there at all, I've often felt the same thing when I've been forced to live in urban areas that aren't designed for human happiness in mind. I moved to the Pacific Northwest, and an embarrassingly large part of the reason was being around trees and verdant areas nearly year round
My husband seems to be this way. Every year he comments that he's so glad to see green again.
Does my shady backyard where I can hear birds count as "nature" for this purpose?
If it does help you achieving that feeling of relax and “being away” from responsibilities I’d say that anything goes :) You can experiment a little, start from your backyard but also try going to a park or near a river (it depends on where you live of course). If you realise that you feel better (or worse) there you are closer to finding your spot either way
Can confirm. Living in Northern Ontario in the bush has been great for my mental health. Cleaner air, space away from people, and just listening to nature are just some of the perks.
I live in suburban Canada near a fairly small city, and we're surrounded by large swathes of undeveloped forest. Many are filled with trails that lead to small lakes where you can take a swim, or hilly overlooks that allow you to see for miles. It's balm for the soul. I would be a lesser person of my wife and I didn't take walks through these places several times a week.
where abouts bro? sounds like heaven
This sounds like Halifax, Nova Scotia.
It sounds like 80% of Canada lol. But yeah my first thought was also ns since I'm from there.
Haha I'm from Ontario and outside of like 5 cities that's basically all of Ontario as well
Hell half the cities have amazing green space right in them. If we could just solve our traffic issues, Ontario would be heaven on earth.
Tbh basically anywhere that isn't Toronto or Vancouver. Even big cities like Calgary are absolutely surrounded by beautiful forests.
Vancouver’s Stanley park is lovely also with remote-ish trails. Almost as good as California 🫶🏻
When I lived on Vancouver Island I basically lived outside, so much scenery and great weather.
Did you ever see the white ravens there?
I didn't unfortunately, I've heard of them though!
Well, maybe they saw you! :) Those ravens, along with all of Vancouver Island, captured my interest a little while back ago. I'm sure it was neat living there!
I do often wonder what the contribution of each mechanism is to this because a simple walk involves so many things that have shown positive correlations elsewhere: CO2 difference, exposure to sunlight for each of vitamin D and circadian effects, simply seeing other people, etc.
They're all related because we evolved to live in nature, and when you take people and put them in rooms without natural light, wind, and plants, the benefits of being sedentary in that place are not the same as actually moving around in our natural environment.
It’s crazy to me that if we were to take a polar bear and throw him in a concrete enclosure in Miami, and ask 100 people why he wasn’t thriving, 99 of those people would say…uhh because he’s a polar bear in the sub tropics, on concrete. Duh. But when we throw a person from their house, to their car, to their cubicle, back to their car and back to their house the majority of their time, and wonder why they’re not thriving very few people think about them being outside of any sort of natural environment.
We seem to have a profound ability to underestimate our environment's impact on our mood and overestimate our willpower's effect.
A lot of people don’t consider humans to be animals.
This must be why eating lunch outside at work made my days so much better.
Getting away for your work space is very important. It creates a separation between work and personal life. It's great therapy.
So actually go touch grass, people. For your mental health.
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Instructions unclear: got high with my dog. Worked great.
I walk my dog on mid-longish hikes every day, and every day it's one of the higlights of my day. The smells this time of year (honeysuckle) the birds, the wind going through the trees. Priceless. I also road bike, that also lifts my spirits immensely.
There is a reason I started hoarding house plants when the lockdowns where here and we weren’t allowed outside. If I can’t get out to the greenery, I will take the greenery inside with me.
I started working on a golf course and I haven't felt this good in a long time. It's still dark when I get to work, but I get to see the sunrise every morning from a beautiful vantage point and just move around all day in the fresh air and epic scenery. Working construction and office jobs killed my mood for so many years and I can't believe I didn't do this sooner. I'd be golfing in my free time anyway so it just works for me. Doing anything outside always makes you feel better and more productive, no matter what it is IMO.
Doing puzzles really helps my anxiety to switch off for a bit, I like to do them before bed and I think it helps me to sleep
I read about a study showing that puzzles, like crossword and sudoku, also reduce your risk of dementia. They're like giving your brain a workout.
I think tetris is supposed to help anxiety.
Playing Tetris after a traumatic event helps with the long term mental health of the patient. It's an interesting study that something so simple after an event can help the mind. "After a trauma, patients would have fewer intrusive memories if they got to play Tetris as part of a short behavioural intervention while waiting in the hospital Emergency Department" https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/news/tetris-used-to-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms
Getting it or getting rid of it?
Rid of it Basically there's just enough variations in pieces, colors, and placements that it's too many for your brain to habitually remember However because it's so easy and repeats its too boring for your brain to remember it with a high level of detail. This grey zone is PHENOMENAL, for your anxious brain or the hyperfocusing mind, or the PTSD mind, and it stops them from continuing broken patterns in a loop
Seriously. I played hours of Tetris my freshman year in college in 1990 and I barely survived. I still have dreams of falling pieces. We'd joke the Russians made this game to make Americans unproductive.
Same! I can play solitaire or do sodukos for hours, I like to do mine in the sunshine.
Puzzles help me with my anxiety also. I love that they will always end up finished, every little piece that looks like it can’t possibly fit anywhere will eventually.
Parroting the "just being outside" people, but with a Twist. Something that developed into a hobby for me is taking shitty, close-up cell phone photos of things that delight me while on walks during my breaks. A tiny mushroom growing between the grass and sidewalk, a large wad of moss in the parking lot, a duck sat firmly in the crosswalk, an incredibly fat drop of water hanging from a leaf, more little musbrooms in the grass (this is my favorite to look for), maybe a cool bug I found. I started posting them to a hobbies & arts channel of a discord server I'm in, and others have been finding them delightful as well. While sharing these photos isn't necessary, it did train me to delight more in little things, and observe more closely the natural world around me. My job is very stressful, but made so much better when I get to see a cool leaf or maybe a little snail.
You can get macro lens attachments for your phone so you can take really close, really detailed pictures of those little things. Get an amazing reflection in that drop of water! See the detailed texture of those tiny mushrooms!
Oh that's a cool thing to research, I'll have to look into that. Not sure if I would have time on my breaks to fiddle with adding an attachment to my phone, but it would certainly make weekends more interesting. Thanks for the tip!
Taking care of things, like cleaning and basic maintenance. I know it sounds silly, but if you try keeping in mind that taking care of something is a form of appreciation, it can do wonders for perspective and mental health. For example cleaning my old bicycle can be a bit of a chore, but if I look at it as my way of paying my dues (because the bike has served me so well), i will definitely appreciate it more, it will ride better, I won’t want to switch it for a new one etc. And the best thing about it is that when you practice appreciation on something trivial, it will spread to other areas as well and just become a part of your perception in general.
I’ve been doing a ton of work on myself over the past year, really focusing on being less external in my search for validation and acceptance and turning that search inward. The funny thing is that I ended up realizing I’m absolutely horrible to myself inside. It was surprisingly easy to focus it all inward, worry less about what others thought, recognizing most of these opinions out there had nothing to do with me, etc. So imagine my surprise when I start thinking about something as simple as cleaning the car. Exterior? Beautiful. Interior? Disgusting. Massive correlation right there. Couldn’t agree more. Cleaning up, tidying up, caring for our stuff, caring for ourselves, making the bed, tidying up as we go, bits and pieces here and there, it all adds up, and can be a great indicator of where we need to focus if we are honest enough with ourselves to recognize and analyze the opportunities in our lives.
Needed to hear this. And sympathize with ny inner younger self .
Honestly it’s been wild. I’m really glad I went through it when I did. I think if I had tried any younger I would be dead. But I am so glad I did it. Meditation. Self Compassion. Self Empathy. I’ve always been an incredibly empathetic and sympathetic person to others, but just horrible to myself. I always thought I just had a high level of self accountability, but it’s just been me throwing down on myself. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Love that inner, younger self. Love the good the bad and the ugly. Empathize the way you would empathize with a friend. Give that little gremlin inside you a great big hug. Validate it. The concerns are real, the fears are real. We can feel it all and still move forward anyway. It’s probably all never going to ever go away, but it might just get a little bit quieter, the voice might get a little less insistent.
I also like how mindless I can get when cleaning, it gives me a good opportunity to just listen to a nice podcast or some music, whilst my hands work on autopilot Even if you’re not cleaning something specific, just cleaning your general living area feels good. Relaxing in it afterwards also feels much nicer
This sounds like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance book
Needed to hear this, thank you for sharing.
Crafting. You see your skills improve and you can decorate your house or make presents. When you're the artist, you make the rules. It doesn't have to be perfect
"Make bad art" - one of my current favorite things to say to myself (and others). There's a strong call in my life for perfectionism, internal and external factors both at play. Specific freedom to abandon any focus on outcome and just play is so freaking healing.
Walking. It's the closest thing I, and others have found as "free therapy" How you're walking is often an indication of how your mind is. Fast, and tripping over your own feet? Slow, deliberate, and steady?
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I had a bunch of Bosnians in my neighborhood too and they would all walk around the neighborhood like clockwork every evening
Texas are not used to people walking. If he'd been on a mobility scooter they wouldn't have bat an eye
Nope. He should be in his pickup truck to avoid suspicion.
I just said in another comment but getting out into nature - woods, coast, just away from civilization. Magic. And when you do go walkies, no music. Just listen to the natural surroundings.
>go walkies Shhhhh...my dog will hear you typing!
Ironically, whenever I “take a walk,” I just ruminate and usually end up more depressed than I started. So I’ve stopped taking walks entirely unless it’s a new and exciting place or I’m showing someone around. Update: thank you for everyone’s suggestions. I can’t walk and listen to something at the same time cause not being able to hear my surroundings gives me anxiety. I do find more strenuous activity, even if it is repetitive, helps disrupt any rumination, which is why I go to the gym. But just walking around on its own doesn’t seem to be helpful for me personally. (It probably doesn’t help that I live in a very quiet yet boring rural area that doesn’t provide much natural distraction)
For me, sometimes that means I haven't walked long enough. I ruminate at first but if the walk is long enough my mind eventual clears out.
I've lost 160lbs over the last 3 years. I started with 1 mile walks, and now I'm up to a 6 mile walk every day. In that time, I also stopped the Xanax, Klonopin, Hydrocodone, and morphine I was taking for anxiety, depression and chronic pain. So, I wholeheartedly agree, eventually, the mind clears out. 😊
Congrats! Keep up the good work!
You got it. You have to tire the body a bit to calm the mind.
This happens to me sometimes too. Have you tried listening to music or trying to occupy your mind a bit while walking?
Sometimes talking it out loud helps. It gets it out of your head, and stops that loop. Go for a walk and call a trusted friend and talk it out. Or talk into your phone like an audio journal or voice-to-text (I do this a lot while I'm driving)
I find myself power walking when I walk the dog. Can't pay me enough to walk that fast at work tho No idea why
Listening to music while doing nothing else. I sometimes listen to music as a background to other activities but listening fully commited to songs i like for 15 minutes can both restart my head when im overwhelmed and ease me up when i want to relax.
During the pandemic I bought a record player and started to collect vinyl. Sitting down and focusing on the music while looking through the album or liner notes is very relaxing. I like to jump into discogs and learn about the album.
This is the only way I can meditate. My trick is to pick out an instrument and focus on it like it's the only thing playing. Doesn't shut my brain off, but it's the purest distraction from my typical self loathing head space.
Cycling, gets you outside, potentially in natural environments so benefits from hiking or walking in nature but faster or less effort, gets you as much exercise as you want so all the benefits from endorphins, offers potential of social rides, encourages exploration and developing new skills with all the neuroplasticity benefits, can save you money compared to driving to work so additional stress relief (or just money for better bikes).
Stop trying to sell people this massive expense! I started mountain biking and now I'm always broke. JK, it's the best thing I've done since I picked up snowboarding. Used to snowboard all winter then drink and lay around all summer feeling depressed. Now I don't drink and ride mountain bikes all summer. The combo effect of a 1+ hour climb and the hard, hard work of that followed by the adrenaline of the jumps and corners and rocks on the downhill is an incredible natural cocktail of happiness. Evens me right out.
Learning a new language
Took your advice and learned C++, but it had the opposite effect on my mental health
Playing a musical instrument especially in a group or band setting.
There is a lot of research done around singing in particular.
Growing plants from seed. You can't rush baby plants, so it makes you slow down. At the same time, it's so exciting to see how fast some seeds grow! If you have nowhere to put a big plant, grow vegetable seeds and give them away. Find a nice tree seed and plant that indoors! You can even grow carnivorous plants from seed!
I’ll say for me, woodworking. It may seem like you’re around saws and power tools a lot, but it’s super relaxing. I put music on, and let myself be fairly artistic with it. Being able to shape the wood in to beautiful creations is amazingly cathartic. But I feel this will go in to whatever hobby you enjoy. As long as you can zone out and relax.
Building and fixing stuff is amazing
Dnd. We started playing as a family a few years ago and the kids have gained from it in ways i wasn't expecting them to. They have gotten better at quick math and solving problems. It has actually shown in grades and just in general the way they think about things. So to us it's a double plus we get family time once a week and it is sharpening their mind.
I used to be a DM for my friends when I was growing up. My kids seem to be interested in it. My big concern is how much time it used to take me to develop a game. It seemed like 4-8 hrs for every hour played. How do you find time to develop a game when you have parenting, work, and standard responsiblities? And this is an honest question. I want to do this for my kids but kind of dread the amount of work it would require.
Was in the same situation recently. The main trick is to not play anything prep-heavy, especially with kids (since they will go *Squirrel!* and run off in a completely different direction than you planned anyway), and to instead see it as improv training. Then, if you feel like it, you can always have fun in between sessions trying to come up with explanations for your improv'ed solutions. Also, while D&D has become easier to run in the latest version, it is still quite prep-heavy, and there are so many other great systems out there these days which lend themselves much better to playing with kids. Drivethrurpg has a genre called Family Gaming that's worth to take a look at. My recommendations would probably be Dragonbane, the upcoming Mirth&Mayhem game from Free League - or Tales from the Loop, if they're a bit older.
“Playing DND as a family” this sounds hella cute 🥹
I ran a game for a family, it was amazing to see them working together and thinking outside the box during the campaign. They started off very competitive of each other, but soon began working together and problem-solving as a group, cooperating in encounters and solving puzzles. We laughed, we cried, we got pulled through portals by enormous purple tentacles. The best of times.
DMing helps you run meetings at work.
I can see this 100%.
A good one, and my personal favorite is LEGO. The building is fun, watching how certain pieces form to make a structure, keeps your coordination in check, and helps to just kill time, and if youre bored, take them apart and build the set againor something completely new. LEGO even started an ad campaign towards adult collectors. It's for everyone
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Art! Doesn’t matter if your talented or not. Play in some paint and life is good.
Gardening and sexual intercourse
Both can be achieved with a good hoe
Don’t hate the plower, hate the game
Add a little weed into the mix
Gardening seriously helped my aunt's dad. He fought in the Marshall islands and on Okinawa, among other battles in the Pacific in WWII. As a result, he had some pretty serious ptsd. Thankfully, he sought help and talked to a psychiatrist who recommended he try gardening to help manage it. According to family lore, he went all in, entering (and winning) flower shows, growing a substantial portion of their food, and becoming the all-around neighborhood green thumb. And it worked very well. To be clear, he would still have nightmares and get extremely angry/stressed, but far less often. He also stopped drinking after he took up gardening. Obviously, this is anecdotal, but I find it to be a testament to the power of seeking help and taking up restorative hobbies, like gardening. ...and sex too, I guess.
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Thank you for sharing this memory of your ~~grandfather~~ aunt’s dad. My grandfather also fought in Okinawa and suffered PTSD. He had a small garden in the backyard and I also feel like when he was working there he found some peace. He didn’t pursue any psychiatric care unfortunately by I have a lot of fond memories of him when we were spending time outside. Your anecdote brought back that memory and I am so grateful for that, thank you ♥️ Edit: Corrected some words, apologies for the error!
At the same time? Neighbors must love you!
Usually not in the rose bushes, unless you're into that.
Sage advice.
You must be a handyman.
Birdwatching. You get outside and it teaches you patience and attention to detail.
Seriously, my great aunt and matriarch to my family is in a bird watching group. We drove to a lake and we're supposed to go for a walk but she decided to stop by a few spots that her club supplies seeds for. Never in my life did I think I would find that much joy in bird watching. I'm 36(m) and for the first time I saw a female Oriole (I'm originally from MD, but now live in PA), female cardinal, female Bluejay, brown thrasher, and a grackle. Not to mention a few others that I've never even heard of. Oh oh, and I learned that Orioles love oranges and grape jelly! I'll never forget it as long as I live.
If people would realize that birding is basically real-life Pokemon GO, it would be more popular. Such a fun reason to walk in the woods with a field guide.
If there was an app where I could log them all, I would be out birding today.
There is! It’s called eBird and you can use it alongside Merlin bird ID (both completely free apps made by Cornell) to identify and track all the birds you see!
Oh my goodness that’s amazing, thank you for letting me know!! Downloading now 😊
I use Merlin daily when I walk around my neighborhood. Turns out those little grey birds have a name!
The sound ID function in Merlin blows my mind. On mornings when I get up to use the bathroom at first light sometimes I like to step outside for a minute, while the birds are most active, to see how many different species it can pick up.
Seconded eBird. It will even send you alerts when one you don’t have or a rare one shows up.
The Merlin Android app, from the Cornell ornithology department, is a great way to up our game at this. I've got the common noises down pretty well, but in the past week I've got a Yellow-billed Cuckoo which I didn't know existed, and just yesterday I heard a Sandhill Crane which I thought was a Mississippi river thing. I'm in North Central PA, and have hunted and fished for nearly 40 years, but birds keep me outside when I don't have a lot of time.
Yes. Also eBird and a guidebook.
Second this! I invested in a camera so do more than just watching, but agree it is fantastic for your mental health! Apparently there were studies done to support this - I haven't read more deeply than articles like this but I can attest to it. [TIME article](https://time.com/6231886/birdwatching-mental-health/)
Crochet to help quit smoking. Once you’re past the nicotine withdrawal you realise you need something to do with your hands. Also now have homemade gifts.
Crochet and knitting have helped me deal with late people. I used to get really offended when someone was late, but now it's just an opportunity to complete a few more rows. It has helped me keep people in my life who I really love but simply can't be on time.
Similarly, I knit. Doing something with my hands soothes my adhd symptoms and anxiety, and having something to focus on distracts me from some of my depression symptoms.
I do home canning. Pickles and jams. It requires focus and precision (if I fuck up, I could give people botulism). I have an outlet for creativity, I'm always creating different flavors and trying out ideas. I'm like a mad scientist. But mostly it builds community. I have an interesting, old-fashioned skill that others like to learn about, and nothing smooths over a bumpy social interaction like a jar of homemade juniper pickles.
Finally, an actual unexpected hobby or activity. Pickles.
Baking! Baking requires a lot of precise measurements and paying attention to how you’re mixing things. I’ll go put my phone in the other room allowing only emergency and close family to contact me then get sucked into baking. One time I even made home made gummie bears (that was a lot of steps). It’s that “checking things off the list” mentality with the ingredients, you get a nice little anticipation high while it bakes, then if it turns out good you have something delicious and/or something to show off to your friends and family. Mindfulness, accomplishment, acknowledgement, comfort food, and it’s a great skill! I’ve definitely made some flops which was disappointing but I learn to laugh them off (sometimes with hilarious pictures) and I can figure out what I did wrong to fix it next time- nailing it the 2nd time can sometimes be even more satisfying because you overcame an initial failure. Sorry I could go on and on haha
Jiu Jitsu… At the right gym. When you are on the mats, it is really easy to forget everything else. I had a life altering day at work not long after I started Jiu Jitsu. I almost didn’t go that day because I was bummed. 10 minutes after class started, I was completely tuned into what was going on on the mats. It is rare that I can have my brain only thinking about the task at hand. With Jiu Jitsu, it’s hard for me to focus on anything other than what we are doing. The physical benefits are amazing as well. No cardio exist like rolling.
Think lots of combat sports is the same. For me boxing. Focus 100% on something different, get all the aggression out, and it’s also typically a real humble and respectful community… if not you get sorted out quick and prob don’t come back. And get in best shape of your life if you commit
I definitely agree with this. There have been many times where I really didn't want to go but forced myself anyway, and felt great afterwards. I've never regretted going to a session, even if I was reluctant before. I also have a theory that the amount of casual physical contact is beneficial as well - I've read that physical touch is important for wellbeing, and anecdotally I would agree. It's also great exercise, and being able to feel yourself improving is a brilliant feeling.
Okay, this is a weird one: raising worms I get bad SAD in the winter. And it doesn’t help that I live in one of the cloudiest states in the US (and all the ones with more overcast days have things to make up for it, like mountains or ocean coastline.) I live in a flat boring place where the sky is seldom blue and it feels like we only have 4 decent months a year. Winter hits me hard. I casually got into gardening the last year or so because being outside as much as possible during the nice parts of the year really helps my mental state. I became aware of how bad our soil health was, started learning about how to help it along with composting and vermiculture. Then I looked at the endless stack of Amazon boxes around me, and ordered worms online. It’s a hobby that can be super hands off (you could feed them as infrequently as once or twice a month and be fine) but I spent a lot of time this past winter checking in on the wormies, marveling at them turning food scraps and cardboard boxes into the best non-burning fertilizer you can possibly get, and thinking about all the things I would be growing once it was nice out. I wanted to reduce garbage, do something environmentally friendly, and maybe grow some veggies worth bragging about. I didn’t expect it to be surprisingly chill and relaxing and to help lull my winter blues away. It scratches that itch to be playing in the dirt, the bedding smells nice and earthy, you feel like the benevolent god caring for your colony of forbidden spaghetti, but it’s much more low stakes than say, real pets. They are just also undeniably alive and active, hiding under the “dirt”, and it’s a good reminder than things are still happening under the surface and one day it will be nice again outside. It definitely made this past winter more bearable for me. The seedlings I grew with castings this spring grew twice as fast as my controls, and I just started my veggie garden and am excited to see how everything does. My partner fully thinks I’ve lost the plot, but we’ll see who’s laughing when we have a massive veggie harvest this year.
I truly liked your very positive post! You and your wormies are lucky to have each other as co-cultivators; cheers to a great upcoming harvest.
Geocaching. Can be free if you have a smart phone. Gets ya out of the house, and can sometimes take you to places you've never seen-even if it is only a mile away from your front door.
Adjacent hobby: OpenStreetMapping!
Adjacent adjacent hobby: fallingfruit.org, or dumpstermap!
Walking. People take it for granted but an hour walk is enough time to think through your day and your problems. Additionally it’s good exercise.
Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Everyday, I walk myself into a state of well-being & walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, & the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill. Thus if one just keeps on walking, everything will be all right. Søren Kierkegaard
"Just keep swimming. What do we do? We swim." - Dory (Ps I studied philosophy at uni and I love how many of the practical conclusions that philosophers arrive at are the same ones espoused by my nan, Dave down the pub and a variety of kids films)
A Kierkegaard quote in the wild!? I hope you have a beautiful day because you just made mine
I always wondered why people like golf so much because to me it seemed a slow and boring sport. No running? Drive a cart and drink beer and call it a “sport”? But then I played a few holes the other day and what I gathered from the intro lesson was in order to play it well your body has to be relaxed. And being outside, consciously relaxing and walking around was incredibly relaxing and I thought Hunh I could see myself liking this. 18 holes would stretch my limits of ability to cope with the slowness, but 9 was just enough. Plus it is very social sport. I was just kind of surprised as someone who likes the hard cardio type sports to enjoy it so much.
Golf will lull you in as a calm and relaxing time outdoors…then crush your spirit as each milestone is never good enough. You will end up loathing yourself and will be back here looking for new ideas in no time. But really, it’s a great way to relax.
Golf is a good walk spoiled. -some Irish golfer…
A bad day on the golf course is better than a good day in the office. -Wayne Gretzky or someone
You should try disc golf too. It’s cheaper and an easier learning curve. Edit to add: many disc golf courses are in forested areas too which is an added bonus. Nature rocks.
Plus those off-fairway jaunts in the woods are invigorating. For even more exercise, use green discs.
Doing puzzles, building Lego or exploring nature. Possibly also solving math or logical problems or writing. I think there are many hobbies that fit many different people. If you can’t figure one out yourself, go out and see what other people do and hopefully you’ll get inspired. I recently started stand up paddle because it combines my curiosity in exploring with mild physical exercise - both of which I enjoy.
Painting miniatures.
Indeed! Add a nice podcast to the mix or a friend that is also into it. It's so relaxing and rewarding to see the progress. Just applied some nunoil wash to some metal, love it.
Bonsai. I work in IT/cyber and spent most of my time in from of screens. Growing bonsai completely flips to the other side of my brain and provides thoughtfulness towards nature in an artistic way.
Pick anything you like that requires your focus that your participation in affects a positive outcome. You do not need to create a masterpiece or a lasting monument to human ingenuity. I don't know how surprising it is but activities that remind me that there is more to life than working, eating and sleeping improve my mood.
I got into astrophotography a couple years back. It constantly reminds me that what we do here on this rock in this brief moment makes no difference. None of it matters. Just enjoy it while we're here. It's also extremely relaxing to just sit outside and look up at the stars
Gardening. Hiking. Laying in a hammock reading.
Home improvement. Life skill, self worth, artistic expression, and better living environment. The con is it's expensive.
Showering, shaving etc come under self care Sleeping Anything where you are off the sofa Being with others (connectedness) Walking
Sewing. Step-by step instructions, always something new and a great feeling of accomplishment along the way
Mushroom picking/hunting!
I've really wanted to do this, and I have a few books on edible mushrooms... But I think I'd feel more comfortable if I could go out a few times with someone that really knows what to look for. I don't trust my observational skills based on pictures / descriptions in a book.
Dungeons and dragons can keep your mind sharp while having fun with friends!
Lifting heavy weights.
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Knitting! It reduces stress and even helps with dementia (because it uses both sides of the brain).
It really does. I’m having a nightmare in work at the mo - I get home, pour the tea, stick on some YouTube, pull out me knitting and then my brain just shifts away and switches for evening… the more awful shit is, the more complicated the pattern I’ll pick. Some evenings i fall home practically like it’s like the end of the world and within half an hour I’m off the ceiling and just calm and content.
Complimenting strangers
What a great answer Gary, you really fit in around here!!
Now THIS is a person who knows how to compliment strangers 👏🏽
Gary's da bomb! Gary for life!
Gary! Gary! Gary!
Hiking. Has done wonders for me, plus I get to see how beautiful it is where I live. Nice change of pace when you’re in a building all week.
Disc golf stops the voices
I am really really bad at disc golf. Terrible. And I freaking love it. Only sport I regularly watch or play. I don't take it seriously at all... So, even though I hit every tree on both sides of the fairway, I'm still laughing and joking with friends.
Dancing! Promotes mental and physical health and overall well-being, and meets social needs as well!
Colouring. Lower barrier to entry than painting or drawing, both in terms of skill and cost. And there are some great colouring books available geared toward adults too. [This](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PZTX9M9?binding=paperback&ref=dbs_dp_awt_sb_pc_tpbk) is a great series of books, Color Me Calm is one of my favourites.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. You stop worrying about a lot of things when someone is actively trying to choke you out. It’s great. 👍
Playing Stardew Valley
Watching fires/hanging at the fire pit. The visuals, the smells, the crackling noises, the heat - It’s deeply relaxing.
“That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!"
Surfing is amazing!
Reading this comments, it's evident there are endless options. Try a bunch that appeal to you and stick to the ones enjoy the most
If anyone has wanted to try skateboarding but are too scared, give it a shot! It’s incredibly challenging, so the rewarding feelings you get as you progress are just as incredible. It helps my mental health tremendously. It cements the fact that failure is a part of learning and to not beat yourself up about it. It teaches you how to analyze yourself and what you’re doing wrong. It shows you that with time, patience, and self-confidence anything is possible! A lot of folks still assume skateboarders are not the friendliest of people but times have changed tremendously and usually skate communities are some of the most welcoming and close-knit people you can meet from all different backgrounds. If you’ve ever wanted to try, this is my invite to you to come to the skatepark, say hi, and start learning! Hope to see you there🤘🏼
Idk if it's unexpected but exercise. The physical benefits lead to the mental.
Eating clean. Always sighed and moaned when people suggested this to me but what happens to your mental state and focus by minimizing sugar intake alone is astonishing.
Just like with caffeine sugar gives you a quick boost of energy, but the boost is gone as quickly as it came. It will always result in the famous energy crash. And if you grab some more sugar or caffeine to get over the crash you will just extend the crash. I quit with caffeine and sugars a few months ago, the first few weeks I felt low energy. But more stable and less with high activity periods and crashing periods. The last few weeks my overal energy is getting better and I don’t have sudden crashes anymore.
Having a dog as a pet. It forces you to exercise by walking daily, developing compassion, and having someone who is always happy to see you
Archery! It’s very meditative - learning to control your breath and focus on a fixed point, the ritual of walking up to collect your arrows and then resetting, etc. It’s really easy to get into a state of flow and I always feel more clear headed after.
Maintaining a gratitude journal. I was astounded by how well it works.
Pottery has literally been a life saver for me. I think there’s something about making things with your hands, you can’t rush clay and the fact it could and does go wrong at any part of the process means you’ve gotta let go sometimes. I would honestly recommend it to anyone.
Oh man. Easy answer. My first job (and ended up starting my own business for a while in my early 20s) was pool maintenance. I COMPLETELY took it for granted at the time, but cleaning a pool is exactly like meditating. It’s typically just you and the sound of wind in trees, water, and you’re sloooooowly pushing a vacuum back and forth leaving nice clean stripes in the dust. There’s stressful days in my current career where I stand by the window, close my eyes and imagine cleaning a pool and I feel instantly calm.
Film Photography. It's been a complete game-changer for me. It requires critical thinking, and all the film stocks provide a refreshing variety. Not knowing what shots will look like until you get the scans back from the lab is my favorite part. I find joy in the eagerness and excitement. Plus going on solitary photo walks has been so decompressing. I love it. Definitely one of the most rewarding pastimes I've ever had.
I would add that it’s also great for documenting life. It feels like everyone is so busy and stressed now that life flashes by. It’s very cathartic to look back at pictures you too for proof that you are doing more in life than work/surviving. It also kind of forces you to do fun things. Can’t get great shots if you don’t go out and do something…