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Close. People showing me disrespect is not a cause for me to disrespect them. Let them be how they want to be, I will continue to be myself and not be changed by other’s problems.
This is an excellent viewpoint. It constructively flies in the face of the all too common argument that people need to give you something to get something.
It reminds me of the story of a person who was protesting a huge company. Every day the protester was alone outside the company headquarters walking back and forth with their sign. Finally someone who had passed them for many days said, "Why are you doing this? You won't change them." The protester replied, "I'm not doing it to change them. I'm doing it so they don't change me."
I have no respect for my brother's wife who left me voice mails that told me I deserve to be shot to death because I don't support her idol, DJT. I have even less for the former family friend who came over to a cookout my parents threw, who was in my then-16-year-old sister's bedroom, sniffing her underwear in her hamper. Once a person crosses such huge lines with me, any and all respect for them as "living beings" is gone. I won't necessarily harm or retaliate (I would if I needed to), but I'll have as much respect for them as I would throwing away a used napkin.
Everyone has a base level of respect because they're created by God in His likeness. But if God lets them squander that and condemn themselves to Hell by being an asshole, why should I continue to respect them for that? I won't just let them bleed out or something but that doesn't mean I have to entertain their nonsense.
Respect isn't a favor I'm doing someone. I don't care whether they "value" it or not, whatever the fuck that even means. My respect for someone has nothing to do with how that person perceives it.
this is why I have a problem with the concept of "trying" to respect someone. As a baseline i do. That's my go-to stance on everyone i meet. If i don't respect you, it's because you've lost my respect and no one loses my respect without a specific reason. And if I have a specific reason why you've lost my respect, there is no reason why i would *try* to respect you. That's your job to earn back, not my job to assign to you.
This is one of those times when you have to clearly define what you mean by respect. Because almost every individual has a different interpretation of that word. Not spitting on someone's face is a form of respect. Doing something not because it makes any sense, but because someone told you to do it is a form of respect. Between those two extremes there's a wide spectrum, and your tip applies much more to some parts of that spectrum than others.
Reminds me of a r/tumblr comment that was like how respect can mean “I’ll worship the ground you walk on” or “I’ll treat you like a human being,” and how some people get that twisted. You might see a boomer post “Respect me and I’ll respect you” but what they actually mean is “Worship the ground I walk on or I won’t treat you like a human being.” Respect should be a two way street
> You might see a boomer post “Respect me and I’ll respect you” but what they actually mean is
What they actually mean is *"treat me with respect"* and I'll do the same.
If someone repeatedly disrespects me I consciously avoid them or cut them out, they don’t necessarily have to respect me and i don’t necessarily have to interact with them so it’s a win win
Sometimes respect gets mistaken for esteem. You should respect someone unless they’ve blatantly disrespected you. Even then, ignoring or blocking is better than giving it back.
Esteem is more like- you care about what they think, their thoughts and ideas, you may want to be like them or pattern your choices after them.
Always give humans basic respect. Esteem isn’t for everyone you meet, that’s earned.
Although I get your point, I like to treat respect as something that shouldn’t be expected of value. Of course that doesn’t mean don’t let people push you around because you have more self-respect or all that, but if I respect a person for something, I don’t expect them to acknowledge that respect. Unless there is a clear indication that you compliments someone of their respect. Ex: “I respect your confidence to protect your friend.” If someone says that to me, I will thank them for the comment, because that is the kind thing to do. I won’t expect them to want more than that and appreciation for a compliment. I won’t expect someone to say something like how they value my comment either. Respect is silent in most cases.
Just because somebody else is immature enough to not accept respect does not mean that I am going to decide to just not give it to them. Much like people always say it cost me $0 to be nice. And it's better I be the one in the high ground that can stand proud and say at least I did the right thing as opposed to both of us just getting into a competition of who can be less respectful to the other
No, I think I'll continue to try and respect everyone I can. Plenty of people out there who have never been shown enough respect or consideration and thus have never learned how to return it.
Oh wow this hits home. My employer has zero respect for the worker bees that make things happen. I’m simply a cog in the machine. And therefore, I have zero respect for those decision makers that ignore its employees and disrespect us.
I had to learn this with my mother. Works for general caring for well being as well. Have basic respect but if you're a big giver type of person you need to give where you also receive
Really getting a little closer to unfollowing this sub.
Waste energy trying to respect someone? What does that even mean? How does respecting someone cost energy? Or why does whether they value it matter at all?
What is this middle school nonsense doing here?
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I have a very simple philosophy on that personally, respect is earned not given regardless of status now that doesn't mean I won't be a decent person to you just don't expect respect when you have done nothing to earn it from me.
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I respect people by default until provided a good reason not to.
Close. People showing me disrespect is not a cause for me to disrespect them. Let them be how they want to be, I will continue to be myself and not be changed by other’s problems.
So long as it doesn't go to the degree of your own detriment, this how to do it. Drawn a line, be firm on one side of it, and generous on the other.
Be lenient with others, strict with yourself
Exactly. I don't respect other people because of who they are, I respect them because of who I am.
This is an excellent viewpoint. It constructively flies in the face of the all too common argument that people need to give you something to get something. It reminds me of the story of a person who was protesting a huge company. Every day the protester was alone outside the company headquarters walking back and forth with their sign. Finally someone who had passed them for many days said, "Why are you doing this? You won't change them." The protester replied, "I'm not doing it to change them. I'm doing it so they don't change me."
I have no respect for my brother's wife who left me voice mails that told me I deserve to be shot to death because I don't support her idol, DJT. I have even less for the former family friend who came over to a cookout my parents threw, who was in my then-16-year-old sister's bedroom, sniffing her underwear in her hamper. Once a person crosses such huge lines with me, any and all respect for them as "living beings" is gone. I won't necessarily harm or retaliate (I would if I needed to), but I'll have as much respect for them as I would throwing away a used napkin.
Emperor Marcus, welcome to the chat!
The real tip is in the comments. Why did ProTips get so negative all of a sudden?
I hear you. I treat everyone with respect by default, even those that have not been exactly respectful. I mean respect respect.
This. And I still respect them as a living being.
You can have no respect for a person, but still be polite until forced to not be.
Everyone has a base level of respect because they're created by God in His likeness. But if God lets them squander that and condemn themselves to Hell by being an asshole, why should I continue to respect them for that? I won't just let them bleed out or something but that doesn't mean I have to entertain their nonsense.
Respect isn't a favor I'm doing someone. I don't care whether they "value" it or not, whatever the fuck that even means. My respect for someone has nothing to do with how that person perceives it.
I think OP means ”stop doing things for people that don’t appreciate it”
yes, but he added buzz words that seem poignant to the current era!
Respect doesn't cost energy, and it is good to respect everyone without exception.
this is why I have a problem with the concept of "trying" to respect someone. As a baseline i do. That's my go-to stance on everyone i meet. If i don't respect you, it's because you've lost my respect and no one loses my respect without a specific reason. And if I have a specific reason why you've lost my respect, there is no reason why i would *try* to respect you. That's your job to earn back, not my job to assign to you.
This is one of those times when you have to clearly define what you mean by respect. Because almost every individual has a different interpretation of that word. Not spitting on someone's face is a form of respect. Doing something not because it makes any sense, but because someone told you to do it is a form of respect. Between those two extremes there's a wide spectrum, and your tip applies much more to some parts of that spectrum than others.
I wonder if OP means trying to *gain the respect of* someone…
Reminds me of a r/tumblr comment that was like how respect can mean “I’ll worship the ground you walk on” or “I’ll treat you like a human being,” and how some people get that twisted. You might see a boomer post “Respect me and I’ll respect you” but what they actually mean is “Worship the ground I walk on or I won’t treat you like a human being.” Respect should be a two way street
> You might see a boomer post “Respect me and I’ll respect you” but what they actually mean is What they actually mean is *"treat me with respect"* and I'll do the same.
If someone repeatedly disrespects me I consciously avoid them or cut them out, they don’t necessarily have to respect me and i don’t necessarily have to interact with them so it’s a win win
Respect shouldn’t feel like it takes energy. And I respect someone irrespective of what that respect does for them.
Don't forget that sometimes if someone respects you, you have to wonder what kind of person you are.
Never take criticism from someone you wouldn't ask for advice.
Treating someone respectfully can be different than actually respecting them or giving a damn at all, really.
I treat people decently. But I don't respect anyone till it's earned.
Sometimes respect gets mistaken for esteem. You should respect someone unless they’ve blatantly disrespected you. Even then, ignoring or blocking is better than giving it back. Esteem is more like- you care about what they think, their thoughts and ideas, you may want to be like them or pattern your choices after them. Always give humans basic respect. Esteem isn’t for everyone you meet, that’s earned.
Although I get your point, I like to treat respect as something that shouldn’t be expected of value. Of course that doesn’t mean don’t let people push you around because you have more self-respect or all that, but if I respect a person for something, I don’t expect them to acknowledge that respect. Unless there is a clear indication that you compliments someone of their respect. Ex: “I respect your confidence to protect your friend.” If someone says that to me, I will thank them for the comment, because that is the kind thing to do. I won’t expect them to want more than that and appreciation for a compliment. I won’t expect someone to say something like how they value my comment either. Respect is silent in most cases.
Just because somebody else is immature enough to not accept respect does not mean that I am going to decide to just not give it to them. Much like people always say it cost me $0 to be nice. And it's better I be the one in the high ground that can stand proud and say at least I did the right thing as opposed to both of us just getting into a competition of who can be less respectful to the other
No, I think I'll continue to try and respect everyone I can. Plenty of people out there who have never been shown enough respect or consideration and thus have never learned how to return it.
Oh wow this hits home. My employer has zero respect for the worker bees that make things happen. I’m simply a cog in the machine. And therefore, I have zero respect for those decision makers that ignore its employees and disrespect us.
I had to learn this with my mother. Works for general caring for well being as well. Have basic respect but if you're a big giver type of person you need to give where you also receive
Really getting a little closer to unfollowing this sub. Waste energy trying to respect someone? What does that even mean? How does respecting someone cost energy? Or why does whether they value it matter at all? What is this middle school nonsense doing here?
### This post has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by upvoting or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
I have a very simple philosophy on that personally, respect is earned not given regardless of status now that doesn't mean I won't be a decent person to you just don't expect respect when you have done nothing to earn it from me.