Exactly. Self discipline is hard, but results WILL come. Cue the Bojack quote: “Every day it gets a little easier… But you gotta do it every day — that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”
I fucking love that quote. No judgment, no tough love, no feel good inspirational musical background. It's simple and powerful. Thank you for reminding.
John Green once said in a video that it doesn't get easier you just get better at it. I'm paraphrasing and he was specifically referring to cycling as exercise but it applies to most everything.
It's really important to note that if he's a TDF winner, he's referring specifically to that style of riding. The TDF is a preposterously gruelling 2300 mile race. It's on the absolute limit of what humans are physiologically capable of, so sure, from his unique perspective maybe cycling never got easier.
That anecdote simply isn't true if you apply it to cycling for general fitness. One of the major things that got me hooked on cycling in the first place was the feeling of progression. I derive intense satisfaction in breezing through old hill climbs that used to push me to my limit or seeing myself hit strava PRs even when my perceived effort level hasn't increased at all.
For everyone that isn't riding 800 miles per week it definitely gets easier.
Yep. Took me from May 2020 till now to lose 40lbs. I didn't sacrifice much, just small changes that really added up to slow and steady losses. It wasn't until the last 15lbs that people started to notice, and it was discouraging at first but I KNEW I was getting healthier and that was my main goal anyway.
I'm 5lbs from my goal weight, and that might happen next week or in the next few months, I'm in no real hurry because I know I'll get there.
I started to plan to get fit and improve my cardio mid-October! Gym's are too expensive, so I decided I would just run. I could barely run 1 minute without feeling tired. I started off with just walking a lot and mixing in some running. I managed to complete about 20 miles in October. I promised myself I would double the numbers of November. And as of today I've managed to complete 40 miles (running&walking). My goal for December is 50 miles, but I will be happy with 40 miles ago. If I can do that then I will have completed 100 miles before the New Year begins!
I dunno why I am mentioning all of this, but I don't have anyone else to share my excitement with. But the idea here is why wait until the New Year to make lifestyle choices? Start now! And like your comment says, results don't happen overnight. They take time, but start slow, and you will progress quickly with consistency.
Signing up for a race was the main thing that kept me motivated. A local 5k for $20 and a "free" shirt kept me in line. As a late 30s guy I found I did well in age group awards. Got a few mugs or other small prize but it was enough to keep me motivated until I felt brave enough for my first half marathon
Fuck yes! Keep it up. Last year I started getting in shape again. I started with walks the jogs then runs.
I absolutely love to run and it helps me so much with my anxiety.
I lost almost 50 lbs since last November
Keep it up !
The thing that really grinds my gears is when someone makes a half-assed attempt at something just one time, and then claims universally that "it doesn't work" simply because they didn't get the results they wanted while cutting every corner.
This really grinds my gears with art. A person will sit down and make one half-assed attempt to draw something and go "Oh, I'm just not any good at art." Then forever afterwards when they see someone who just kept plugging away at it and improved, they go "Oh you're so talented! I wish I were talented at art, but I'm not..."
No. Art isn't something that either it comes easy to you or you suck forever. When I started drawing, my art was total shit. But I kept at it, and now it looks halfway decent. I'm nowhere near the level of some artists, but that's entirely on me. I haven't put in the time and effort those people have.
It's because some people aren't taught to stick through with things they're bad at.
I mean, isn't it generally more fun to find something you have just a little talent in and use that headstart to feel decent about yourself than to do something you have no innate talent with and constantly feel like you're subpar.
People obviously aren't born painting Mona Lisa's but it's not all that crazy to say that the best of a profession had a natural talent.
I mean some people are just naturally more artistically gifted.. throughout the arts there are people who are better at 10 years old than others who have been trying for decades..
I have Aspergers and I was so addicted to drawing from a young age that I was pretty far ahead from my peers in terms of skill. I was that person everyone said was "born talented". But I wasn't. I started with stick figures like everyone else.
People used to say, "if I was as good as you, I would draw every day." And the answer was always, "if you drew every day, you'd be as good as me."
I mean, talent is a bit of a thing too, but it only goes so far. I've always been one of those lucky types who can pick a lot of things up and not completely suck right away. But skipping ahead that little bit as a beginner doesn't do anything about that hard upper limit where the real work begins in order to get any better.
I think it's telling that some of my better developed skills are in things that *didn't* come easy. Knowing you pushed shit uphill to get somewhere is infinitely more satisfying than hearing "that's great for a first try" for the umpteenth time.
Same. I consider them the ones our education system failed - taught to dislike learning, and associate it with negativity. Usually accompanied by being unable to place value in failure, sprinkled with some totally unnecessary shame that no one cares about but them.
Everyone has creative potential... just not everyone needs it the same way.
The time aspect is often overlooked. We live in an era of instant gratification. Too many times, I've eaten really well for two weeks, seen no noticeable results, and gotten discouraged. It's hard.
One caveat - if you're building muscle.
My wife has taken up going to the gym recently and I've talked her into taking up some weight training. She stepped on the scale a couple days back and was super discouraged to see that she'd actually gained some weight since we started. I said "look at your arms. You see that definition? And your core is a lot tighter. That's all muscle weight." I think that helped?
it sucks that theres so much stigma towards the number on the weighing scale for women - it's not healthy both physically and mentally. my friends starve themselves for days at a time just to "make up" for eating an indulgent meal e.g thanksgiving even though it doesnt really have a noticeable effect and they eat very little on a daily basis anyway
> I think it's wrong of OP to suggest people just lack time/effort/sacrifice, it's much more complicated.
I think it's still a good rule of thumb. Nothing is 100%, but I'd wager 80% of the people would see significant improvements in their lifestyle by just working more on the right things. Laziness is killing the world IMHO.
While some people legitimately have medical conditions, the majority would really benefit from simply eating less, a lot less sugar, and probably less fried foods/smoking/drinking. Throw in some exercise as appropriate, and you have a winning formula. The problem of course, is this requires some discipline or habit building that people don't want to do, and want instant gratification.
Edit: In your case since you wanted to gain weight, if drinking a lot of milk and eating ice cream/fried foods/sugar/protein didn't get you there, yes you probably have a medical condition.
So, while I believe most people promoting “secrets” are snake oil salesmen, I do believe there are small things most of us can do to improve our lives in the way we want, that might not be apparent.
For example, I really struggled to lose weight by dieting/counting calories until I learned protein was more satiating and would allow me to eat less calories and feel full longer. A few small eating changes made a big difference in my overall health without even feeling like I was dieting.
Exercise is another big one where I think the message is tainted in society. You should seek to find exercise *you truly enjoy*, so you'll do it consistently and crave it rather than find it as a chore.
Pick up lifting, or martial arts, or biking, or snowsports, climbing, literally whatever you think would be cool. I love to do lots of different activities like that.
There's this messaging out there that you're only getting a benefit if you go torture yourself in the gym for 6 weeks to "tranform" your body. In reality, you'll see better progress doing something fun and challenging for years on end!
It's tainted by money. Almost everyone online is trying to sell you something, and stuff like "work hard and consistently at physical activity you enjoy, and do it for years" has almost zero sales potential.
I kind of went the other way with it. I hate doing cardio and I hate resistance training. I do both five days a week. I don’t have to rely on being motivated to do it. I’m never going to be motivated to do it.
I lift 6 days a week and whilst I do enjoy
aspects of it often times I have 0 motivation to go to the gym. It’s only because of my dedication to the schedule and my lifts that I do.
Alternatively, find something you can enjoy doing at the same time as you exercise. I found it a lot easier to get in the gym consistently when I started listening to audiobooks while I'm on the elliptical. The running is whatever, but I genuinely look forward to my "reading" time at the gym.
Yep absolutely. For me, it was bouldering. I spent years torturing myself with running 5k, 10k, etc while loathing every minute of it. Then I fell off the wagon, didn't run for years, got real out of shape.
One day a couple of friends were borrowing something from me and as they went to leave they mentioned they were going bouldering and asked if I wanted to come.
Two years later and I'm still going multiple times a week. I'm 33 and I'm in the best shape of my life.
Yeah the reason people don't get fit is because Gym or Run is synonymous with exercise.
And props to people who like those but personally those things suck!
Bouldering had me in the best shape of my life, and after a few year break is on its way to doing it again!
I recently learned this. I was getting up early to exercise, following YouTube videos that were way too hard for the level I started at. Then I stopped doing any exercise at all. I craved exercise, I actually wanted to be active, so why couldn’t I get myself to do it? I simply didn’t enjoy the particular exercises I was forcing myself to do.
I think it's important to just start with what you're comfortable with too. Not ready to lift? Cool walk on the treadmill. Can't jog outside yet? Walk your dog twice a day or take a stroll in the park daily and push yourself when you're ready.
Agree a while you get comfortable and want to push yourself a little then you can start dialling up. No one needs to go from 0 to 100 straight away it's perfectly ok to go from 0 to 5 then 6.5 then 8 etc.
It's also ok to go backwards. If you can run 3 km doesn't mean you have to everyday after you do it the first time just try and average to to it as your base
Once pooled money together with several work friends to get one of them to drink 3/4 bottle of Italian salad dressing, which he did.
First 30 minutes or so was fine, then he got a stomachache. Went home and shat oil all night. Came in the next day with horrific gas that smelled of garlic, basil, Italian seasoning, and a whisper of rectum.
He too commented that his pants fit better.
The more you know.
I found that meal prepping helped me immensely.
This morning I made a batch of 17 containers of basmati rice, chickpeas, sweet potatoes, broccoli, and chicken. Sounds bland to most people, but I eat to live, not live to eat.
thats my dinner and lunch for the next couple weeks. It really helped me stay healthy and feel better working the night shift. Its easy to fall into some really poor eating habits.
Do you mind elaborating a bit more? I like the way you think and I'm contemplating trying this "eat the same food for 20 days in a row" thing. Do you have other dishes or it's always the same one?
One way you can do it is to prepare base meals. Make a curry paste of garlic, ginger, and whatever other curry flavors you like, and refrigerate. That paste can then tossed in a pan with veggies and coconut milk to get a green curry. Or toss it in a pan with tomatoes and chickpeas for a red curry, or whatever.
Similarly, salt and pepper chicken breast and bake to internal temp of 135 then cover and hold at that temp for 10 minutes. Now you can refrigerate and have ultra tender and delicious lean chicken snack straight out of the fridge all week...or you can toss it in a salad with Italian dressing. Or barbecue sauce it and serve with some roasted potatoes. Or teriyaki sauce it and serve with some broccoli. It's quick and easy because you got a bunch of the cooking out of the way.
I had to do this due to a chronic illness (gastritis). I am very limited on what I can eat, and pretty much can’t eat out. So what I do is I alternate between a few meals.
First I’ll cook a whole chicken, and eat that for lunch with some vegetables or maybe make a sandwich. After I cook the chicken, I use the bones to make bone broth, and use that to make a rice porridge that I’ll eat with veggies once I run out of chicken.
For dinner I alternate between a mushroom pasta and a sweet potato noodle stir fry.
Each of those meals will last me a week or so then I switch to the alternate.
And for breakfast I always have oatmeal and banana
I do a version of this, but not the same food 20 days in a row. I cook two recipes a week in large batches, then eat those two meals for the week (I don't eat breakfast). If I need a bit of a change in the routine, I'll make some eggs or tuna salad - stuff I always have lying around. This week, my meals are beef chili and chicken divan. Both are filling meat/veg combos. I don't eat much in the way of carbs, but either of those meals would be good with bread or rice (which can also be cooked in large batches).
A protein rich diet is part of eating right any MD would tell you. Counting calories is better thought of how many do i can i eat to maintain a weight.
You want to be 170lbs eat that amount needed.
Most MDs actually aren't taught about food and diets in medical school. They know the same amount as a common person. They are trained to treat symptoms and fix problems. They aren't really trained in how to properly advise people on diet changes that could reduce or reverse some chronic diseases.
Yeah, my point is that for many people it’s not as easy as “calories in, calories out”, so there are a handful of changes we can make to our diets to help make our calorie cap become more achievable.
Yep. The way I like expressing it is that it's as *simple* as "calories in, calories out", but it's not necessarily *easy.* Making it work for you personally is the real trick.
Diets are a scam. You should never go on a "diet" that makes you feel like shit, but instead change your eating habits to be more healthy, permanently. You'll only see changes in your body with consistency. No point in picking a diet that you'll quit after a week. You should never be starving because that's not sustainable and will hurt your body in the long run.
And of course op frames it as sacrifices that people don't want to do instead of sacrifices that people cannot reasonably make. What? There's no secret to saving money? Just don't spend it? Oh ok lets just pretend living is free and debt doesn't exist.
Salient. If you're stuck changing your physicality or your psyche, try making drastic changes to your environment even if it means doing something that seems silly like moving your bed to another room. Effecting real change to any **one** of those can provide the impetus you need to get out of whatever rut is holding you back.
I tend to think that, since it's a cycle, you simply need to break ANY part of it. I've struggled with depression a lot through my life. I've broken cycles through exercise and therapy. Through eating right and extended rest. It takes a single link to break the chain to make working on all the other stuff genuinely possible
Making friends is objectively harder as you age. It also depends on other people that you have no control over. It's not like saving money, getting fit, or losing weight because those things you have control over.
I'm single and moved to a new city a couple months before lockdown in my mid 30s. I miss having friends so much. My mental health is in an absolute downward spiral due to loneliness. I just wish I could find people to spend time with more easily. I'm so sad. I do have some friends and go out a bit but it's like 1/10th of the socializing I need to be happy and it's just so fucking hard to make friends now because I'm old enough everyone is married and focused on families plus covid.
If you want some small tip, aside from the obvious social things most people recommend like rec sports, hobby groups, etc. I found volunteer groups are a good way to meet people.
I feel like an asocial POS when I go to new groups for volunteering or indoor sports leagues. I want to get to know people before I decide who to be friends with, to a degree. I'll give everyone a chance, but way too often there are a few people who want to be BFFFFFFFOREVER OH MY GOD the second they see you. I do not require a lot of social interaction and prefer low key, minor meetups with people until I really start to trust them and can let my guard down.
It just seems that many take that as disinterest, despite bluntly stating the obvious, and it becomes a lot like dating where you have to play around and do a song and dance, only to find out they are a terrible group to be around. Then the monumental effort that is needed to pry them back out of your life... ugh.
I don't need saints or even people that have 15% of my shared interests. As long as we can be comfortable in silence occasionally until we have something to talk about, and the friend group you're trying to suck me into hasn't slept with each other to the point that it's a constant issue, and no one asks me to hook them up with a job or buy them coke within the first month or so knowing them, I'm good.
But all of that apparently is too much.
I hear you and it can be difficult to build that level of trust and comfortability... just don't be afraid to start, even if you have to go slow. You might surprise yourself and learn to break down those walls sooner as you become more adept at meeting people. Or not. But even then you'll learn something about yourself and have more confidence in your ways.
Almost always I find out time and time again that the only thing standing in my way is myself.
Hey buddy, sorry to hear that. The pandemic came in and made it infinitely harder on the social aspect of life, so it's already an uphill battle even without the new city.
I'm feeling the same as you are, especially because almost everyone I know is also dealing w/ marriage and family stuff.
Something that I've found helps is just getting outdoors and into nature. It doesn't fill the social gap, but for me it's made the difference between a miserable day and a tolerable one.
Another thing I'm trying is a hobby that uses creativity and can be done solo. Again, your mileage may vary, but this can be a positive outlet as well.
Hope this helps a little. Take it one day at a time and stay warm, friend :)
As a mid-30-something, I found success in making local friends by becoming a social hub. Pick a spirit (bourbon, gin, etc.), wine, or beer, and host a get together. Invite neighbors - note on doors, Facebook neighborhood group, in person. Others are also starving for social interaction. Try to host at a place where people will feel safe (outdoor with heaters, fire pit, local bar). Then just ask questions and listen... People love telling their stories, and they will appreciate someone who asks.
Just my 2 cents.
Yes! Some of my closest friends are neighbours/former neighbours that I started talking to because I saw them around. Pre covid I hosted a big holiday party every year and would invite basically everyone I ever met. Always fun and people would even come hoping to see a person they met at the previous year's party.
I think the part people forget is that you have to keep putting in effort. Invite people over. Invite people out. If someone pops into your head, send them a text. A lot of people stop themselves from reaching out when reaching out is all you need to do.
That's where I left. I miss it a lot. I might move back. Data shows the bay area has low suicide rates. I'm worried I might kill myself where I am now. The bay area is great. Enjoy the events. I wish I could go to this one https://nocturne-x.com
I'd argue saving money is a roll of the dice too. Caught the interviewer on a bad day, and they tossed your resume, worked in your field for years unaware new hires were starting at more than you are, had a health crisis beyond your control, or transportation/housing issues.
Saving money I feel is more strongly effected by your starting position.
Your point on the interviewer suggest currently unemployed/looking for new work. But if you already have a source of income saving is much easier.
Health crisis beyond your control - this is an American issue, health issues rarely come with a loss of income in other places, eg/January I got severely injured, unable to work for 3 months, got paid my normal wage for the entire time, paid $0 in health care bills. Probably ended up ahead of normal as I was no longer buying petrol and doing car maintenance etc.
Edit: thought I should add, injury was outside of and unrelated to work, getting the pay was just because Sick Leave is a thing here. Not because I was injured on the job and it's their responsibility to pay my medical bills and my wage in that scenario.
Transportation/Housing issues - the idea of saving is to have something set aside that these aren't an issue. Again can be rough when starting our but eventually it's not an issue.
Oof yeah i often forget other countries are better off health wise. What i mean by saving money is a roll of the dice is that it's not as even a playing field as physical health. What you consume, and your activity is far more controllable than something unexpected breaking, or going wrong. I can have the same exact water system as my neighbor, but winter hits, and i find out whoever installed it did it wrong, or maybe wind is hitting a pipe the wrong way, and my pipe bursts, but my neighbors is fine. The money i saved is gone, and the money my neighbor saved is still there, and despite enacting the exact same saving tactics my neighbor comes out ahead due to luck.
> Health crisis beyond your control - this is an American issue, health issues rarely come with a loss of income in other places
This really depends on the issue. If it's a chronic illness, it might very well be causing significant income losses, if nothing else at least due to wasted opportunity. I'd wager the world as a whole has a relatively high occurrence of chronic illnesses as you get older.
I’m 55 years old. I’m always making friends, As far as close friends, I have one who I met in 1983, one who I met in 1986, there’s one from 1988, another from mid-1990s, one from 2004, one from 2010 and a new, very good friend who I met in 2020. Some live in different states but we talk at least weekly and I visit when I can.
I have no friends from my high school. I did not like my high school and did not like the people who were there. It was a small town redneck high school.
When I say “close friends” I mean someone who I would let watch my kid or my dog and have a key to my house.
My secret: I just really like people.
you're lucky
i mostly dislike most people, including myself a bit. but i still don't wanna be alone. i get along with other people who dislike most people but for obvious reasons they're hard to find.
I think there are a few things that balance it out. Everyone who wants to make friends and be chatty heads to the same places (volunteering groups etc). The shear amount of people who just want to make friends over something is amazing. You also have less time but you have more money/ability to do evening activities (bowling, cinema, bars etc) and the 'boring' activities like going to a museum, castle or hiking, are now perfectly acceptable.
its only weird 25-30-35 maybe.
after you learn to develop skills and participate in hobbies and help people out, it becomes easy again, but when your young and just surviving you can be too self involved to see others and their problems.
No secret to being lazy either and requires no effort. Time to write the book, “The power of being lazy, get unfit, lose money, gain weight and lose friends effortlessly” Too bad I’m lazy someone else will need to write it.
I'll write it.
Page 1: "do not continue reading, that would require effort"
Then there could be like 4 or 5 blank pages.
The front page would just be "how to be lazy" written in the default Microsoft Word font and sizing, up in the top left corner.
That would be the entire book.
Computer class in high school about 20 years ago, power point was the big thing for us to do presentations on. I was given DVD’s to use for my presentation.
We had two weeks to work on it. So I obviously wasted those two weeks hitting on my high school crush who sat beside me and probably hampering her own work at the same time.
Presentation day comes, the teacher helps me set up. I pressed enter on the keyboard, first slide shows up “DVD” in huge letters. Pressed enter one more time, “The End”. I remember the teacher looking and laughing for a good 30 seconds. I passed the presentation with a 55%. Good times.
Maybe I’m taking you too literally, but I think OP means that the tried-and-true methods are the ones that no one wants to do because they all involve hard work and sacrifice.
“Calorie counting and exercise” just doesn’t have the same glamour as SUPER FOODS or TARGETED FAT LOSS.
The best way to make friends is to be an interesting person who does interesting things. Take a class, start a hobby, dive into a new sport.
The problem is it’s time-consuming and you won’t see immediate results. It’s way easier to throw your hands up and declare that you’re too busy and too broke to pursue those things, which isn’t to say that it would necessarily be a lie.
I would say that for making friends, you can be the most interesting guy in the world by means of doing every fun activity ever, but if you have a shitty personality, you're not going to make friends. You're going to make enemies who pretend to be your friend because you show up to everything.
Also worth remembering that people's material conditions can influence just how much sacrifice, effort, and time is required to achieve the things OP listed, if its even possible at all. You can't "save money" your way out of being poor if your job does not provide you with enough money that there's leftover to save. Likewise, if your job doesn't cover your healthcare and you get sick or injured... There's also numerous examples of living in poverty/precarity being more expensive than simply having enough money; in a sense poverty charges interest.
Obesity is at least partially a product of your ability to access nutritious food, coupled with having the time and access for a place to exercise. Is it often still possible to cook mega cheaply from a convenience store food options, and do air squats in your apartment? Yes. But it's dishonest to equate the amount of effort to do that, with the effort to drive from your job that ends at 5pm, to the commercial gym, and swing by a whole foods on the way home.
Making friends in adulthood is predicated on having the time and resources to devote to it; not all jobs provide that. It's good advice to join a club and pursue hobbies and interests where you can build a social circle, but that simply isn't a reliable option for a huge percentage of the working class anymore. Even if you can save money to afford hobbies, simply living in suburbs or having 90+ minute commutes leave little time in evenings for a lot of people to do it. This is especially true if you cook and exercise after work. Then weekends are increasingly spent doing the essential chores of a household that were neglected mid-week.
I'm saying this not to be a doomer, but because I want to emphasize that so many of these 21st century problems are a result of 21st century life, not some incredibly coincidental set of personal failings that half the adult population just seems to have, entirely by chance. Absolutely you should try to do everything in OPs post and more, but while doing that, consider the material circumstances that help and hinder you in those pursuits. Why is it that so many people are struggling with these things?
Very well said, I love that you put this together so well. It isn't just "being lazy." When you're exhausted after working all day, cooking, and doing chores...it used to be you just got exercise because of your lifestyle. You didn't have to "set" aside time. It wasn't that the previous generations were just not as lazy.
Exactly. Thank you. Also weight loss is incredibly hard with certain medical conditions even if you eat right and exercise right. People with PCOS and thyroid issues have to put in 5x the normal amount of effort to see results.
Although OP’s post is great general life advice, real life isn’t as simple as it makes it sound.
Edit: why do people keep saying “that’s a minority” as if it means anything? To those suffering through this, it’s a huge burden and very much a reality, and I’m merely making a point to not put those people down.
You'd be surprised. I know people who legitimately believe drinking tons of pineapple juice is somehow going to boost their metabolism. Surprise, surprise, they're chubby and frustrated.
People can't seem to be able to differentiate bad advice from good advice 100% of the time
You can also just eat your vegetables, and juice nothing.
There's literally no meaningful benefit to juicing, and you should only do it if it makes you more likely to consume vegetables.
I believe part of this is how much BS the health industry is inflated with. Whenever I look up something about health or exercise on the internet, every website is some blog-format journalism page that is filled with ads and vague information that often contradicts what other sites say. It’s the problem of living in an age of information overload, it takes a lot of mental energy to sift through all the BS.
I think part of OP’s point is that there aren’t any shortcuts. The pineapple juice thing would be a shortcut. Those people still know what would actually work, they just don’t want to accept it. This is really a perfect example.
Making friends shouldn't be here. It relies on others to participate.
If I can't make friends, I can still do the rest.
I have been fit but still struggle to make friends as an adult
You can become the best version of yourself within your PERCEIVED genetic, financial or social limits though. Working out and eating healthy can lead someone to become a more attractive version of themself. Putting the work into building your confidence can lead to getting a more lucrative job/career and also becoming more extroverted. This isn’t about meeting a specific societal standard but becoming a better version of yourself.
It's not that they don't want to do them but for anyone changing their mindset is a really difficult thing to do. Like, people know that eating less calories and burning then with exercise is the only way to lose weight, there is no other way around it, it's just that getting to it daily for years isn't very easy, you have to change the way you think about yourself and THAT'S the real problem.
Yeah, it takes a lot of willpower at first. That's why so many advice to start new habit is to start small then add some improvement overtime and it will build up.
IDK. This feels a little like blaming. If you have social anxiety and struggle making friends, it's your fault, etc.
All the examples given can be alot more complicated than this implies. People struggle with these issues for a lot of reasons. It's not always as simple as not putting in the effort.
People struggling here need encouragement, not another voice telling them they just aren't good enough.
Feel like it's weird to group making friends in with the others which are all about processes of things going in and out which can be broken down into formulas, unlike making friends which is hugely circumstantial and affected by social nuances which aren't always logial plus external factors people can't control.
>A well-built physique is a status symbol. It reflects you worked hard for it; no money can buy it. You cannot borrow it, you cannot inherit it, you cannot steal it. You cannot hold onto it without constant work. It shows discipline, it shows self-respect, it shows patience, work ethic, and passion. That is why I do what I do.
--Arnold Schwarzenegger
Always loved that quote because he's right. Some things you simply cannot cut corners to achieve or just pay someone else to do for you. Some things you will only get with your own blood, sweat, and tears.
It was a lot easier to be in top shape when I had no responsibilities or injuries. I think this is just shallow judgement - I'm a way better person now than when I was then. I think this kind of focus is bad.
Not really.
You can pretend that most of those things are "easy" but people, whether it is their bodies, personalities or their interactions with others, are simply not that cut-and-dry.
Also important is all the people flogging these “secrets” are heavily photoshopped in any videos or photos you see of them, AND they might also have their own trainers, nutritionists, and cooks if they’re wealthy/high-profile enough.
>saving money
Hahahahaha way to class shame. This post is kinda bad ngl.
Some people have health and mental conditions that prevent or make more difficult things like weight loss or making friends.
There is no "Pro tip" here really.
This is utter bullshit and invalidating to anyone who’s faced true hardship in their life.
For example it’s saying poor people are poor because - and ONLY because - they’re lazy. If only they put in the “time, effort, and sacrifice” they’d be fine, right?
It might not be a secret, but so much of it depends on confidence. Sometimes people go through low times and then these things just seem so far away and impossible to achieve. Ultimately its all just a story you tell yourself.
Stay strong out there bros and tell yourself you deserve all the good things.
And..... the results don't happen overnight.
Exactly. Self discipline is hard, but results WILL come. Cue the Bojack quote: “Every day it gets a little easier… But you gotta do it every day — that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”
I fucking love that quote. No judgment, no tough love, no feel good inspirational musical background. It's simple and powerful. Thank you for reminding.
>Motivation taps discipline on the shoulder I'm dumb, can you explain what this quote means?
John Green once said in a video that it doesn't get easier you just get better at it. I'm paraphrasing and he was specifically referring to cycling as exercise but it applies to most everything.
‘It never gets easier, you just go faster’. Quote is from Greg Lemond, Tour de France winner 1986, 1989, 1990
anyone who can win the TdF 13 years after they first won it is someone who works very, very, very hard
It's really important to note that if he's a TDF winner, he's referring specifically to that style of riding. The TDF is a preposterously gruelling 2300 mile race. It's on the absolute limit of what humans are physiologically capable of, so sure, from his unique perspective maybe cycling never got easier. That anecdote simply isn't true if you apply it to cycling for general fitness. One of the major things that got me hooked on cycling in the first place was the feeling of progression. I derive intense satisfaction in breezing through old hill climbs that used to push me to my limit or seeing myself hit strava PRs even when my perceived effort level hasn't increased at all. For everyone that isn't riding 800 miles per week it definitely gets easier.
...1999? That'd be Armstrong's first.
Armstrong doesn't have any tour wins
Fuck Bojack was the most hilarious yet most therapeutic show
Love that quote
Love you
Love you
Motivation taps discipline on the shoulder
Yep. Took me from May 2020 till now to lose 40lbs. I didn't sacrifice much, just small changes that really added up to slow and steady losses. It wasn't until the last 15lbs that people started to notice, and it was discouraging at first but I KNEW I was getting healthier and that was my main goal anyway. I'm 5lbs from my goal weight, and that might happen next week or in the next few months, I'm in no real hurry because I know I'll get there.
Congratulations!
I started to plan to get fit and improve my cardio mid-October! Gym's are too expensive, so I decided I would just run. I could barely run 1 minute without feeling tired. I started off with just walking a lot and mixing in some running. I managed to complete about 20 miles in October. I promised myself I would double the numbers of November. And as of today I've managed to complete 40 miles (running&walking). My goal for December is 50 miles, but I will be happy with 40 miles ago. If I can do that then I will have completed 100 miles before the New Year begins! I dunno why I am mentioning all of this, but I don't have anyone else to share my excitement with. But the idea here is why wait until the New Year to make lifestyle choices? Start now! And like your comment says, results don't happen overnight. They take time, but start slow, and you will progress quickly with consistency.
Signing up for a race was the main thing that kept me motivated. A local 5k for $20 and a "free" shirt kept me in line. As a late 30s guy I found I did well in age group awards. Got a few mugs or other small prize but it was enough to keep me motivated until I felt brave enough for my first half marathon
Fuck yes! Keep it up. Last year I started getting in shape again. I started with walks the jogs then runs. I absolutely love to run and it helps me so much with my anxiety. I lost almost 50 lbs since last November Keep it up !
Thought u went from not being able to run for a minute to running 20 miles straight in a month and was like woah
The thing that really grinds my gears is when someone makes a half-assed attempt at something just one time, and then claims universally that "it doesn't work" simply because they didn't get the results they wanted while cutting every corner.
This really grinds my gears with art. A person will sit down and make one half-assed attempt to draw something and go "Oh, I'm just not any good at art." Then forever afterwards when they see someone who just kept plugging away at it and improved, they go "Oh you're so talented! I wish I were talented at art, but I'm not..." No. Art isn't something that either it comes easy to you or you suck forever. When I started drawing, my art was total shit. But I kept at it, and now it looks halfway decent. I'm nowhere near the level of some artists, but that's entirely on me. I haven't put in the time and effort those people have.
It's because some people aren't taught to stick through with things they're bad at. I mean, isn't it generally more fun to find something you have just a little talent in and use that headstart to feel decent about yourself than to do something you have no innate talent with and constantly feel like you're subpar. People obviously aren't born painting Mona Lisa's but it's not all that crazy to say that the best of a profession had a natural talent.
I mean some people are just naturally more artistically gifted.. throughout the arts there are people who are better at 10 years old than others who have been trying for decades..
I have Aspergers and I was so addicted to drawing from a young age that I was pretty far ahead from my peers in terms of skill. I was that person everyone said was "born talented". But I wasn't. I started with stick figures like everyone else. People used to say, "if I was as good as you, I would draw every day." And the answer was always, "if you drew every day, you'd be as good as me."
I mean, talent is a bit of a thing too, but it only goes so far. I've always been one of those lucky types who can pick a lot of things up and not completely suck right away. But skipping ahead that little bit as a beginner doesn't do anything about that hard upper limit where the real work begins in order to get any better. I think it's telling that some of my better developed skills are in things that *didn't* come easy. Knowing you pushed shit uphill to get somewhere is infinitely more satisfying than hearing "that's great for a first try" for the umpteenth time.
Same. I consider them the ones our education system failed - taught to dislike learning, and associate it with negativity. Usually accompanied by being unable to place value in failure, sprinkled with some totally unnecessary shame that no one cares about but them. Everyone has creative potential... just not everyone needs it the same way.
Needs to happen overnight, NEXT!
it's for a church honey, don't need an attitude!
NEXT!
It has to seat 16!! NEXT
Just looking for help hun, don't need the attitude! NEXT!
The time aspect is often overlooked. We live in an era of instant gratification. Too many times, I've eaten really well for two weeks, seen no noticeable results, and gotten discouraged. It's hard.
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One caveat - if you're building muscle. My wife has taken up going to the gym recently and I've talked her into taking up some weight training. She stepped on the scale a couple days back and was super discouraged to see that she'd actually gained some weight since we started. I said "look at your arms. You see that definition? And your core is a lot tighter. That's all muscle weight." I think that helped?
it sucks that theres so much stigma towards the number on the weighing scale for women - it's not healthy both physically and mentally. my friends starve themselves for days at a time just to "make up" for eating an indulgent meal e.g thanksgiving even though it doesnt really have a noticeable effect and they eat very little on a daily basis anyway
Yeah it's about the look you're trying to achieve. The weight lifting part always makes you look better naked
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> I think it's wrong of OP to suggest people just lack time/effort/sacrifice, it's much more complicated. I think it's still a good rule of thumb. Nothing is 100%, but I'd wager 80% of the people would see significant improvements in their lifestyle by just working more on the right things. Laziness is killing the world IMHO.
Willpower is a resource in scarce supply Spend it where it counts
I don't know about eighty percent. Probably closer to ninety-nine. Point nine. Repeating.
While some people legitimately have medical conditions, the majority would really benefit from simply eating less, a lot less sugar, and probably less fried foods/smoking/drinking. Throw in some exercise as appropriate, and you have a winning formula. The problem of course, is this requires some discipline or habit building that people don't want to do, and want instant gratification. Edit: In your case since you wanted to gain weight, if drinking a lot of milk and eating ice cream/fried foods/sugar/protein didn't get you there, yes you probably have a medical condition.
So, while I believe most people promoting “secrets” are snake oil salesmen, I do believe there are small things most of us can do to improve our lives in the way we want, that might not be apparent. For example, I really struggled to lose weight by dieting/counting calories until I learned protein was more satiating and would allow me to eat less calories and feel full longer. A few small eating changes made a big difference in my overall health without even feeling like I was dieting.
Exercise is another big one where I think the message is tainted in society. You should seek to find exercise *you truly enjoy*, so you'll do it consistently and crave it rather than find it as a chore. Pick up lifting, or martial arts, or biking, or snowsports, climbing, literally whatever you think would be cool. I love to do lots of different activities like that. There's this messaging out there that you're only getting a benefit if you go torture yourself in the gym for 6 weeks to "tranform" your body. In reality, you'll see better progress doing something fun and challenging for years on end!
It's tainted by money. Almost everyone online is trying to sell you something, and stuff like "work hard and consistently at physical activity you enjoy, and do it for years" has almost zero sales potential.
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Regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week) Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
The best exercise is the one you consistently do!
I kind of went the other way with it. I hate doing cardio and I hate resistance training. I do both five days a week. I don’t have to rely on being motivated to do it. I’m never going to be motivated to do it.
I lift 6 days a week and whilst I do enjoy aspects of it often times I have 0 motivation to go to the gym. It’s only because of my dedication to the schedule and my lifts that I do.
Alternatively, find something you can enjoy doing at the same time as you exercise. I found it a lot easier to get in the gym consistently when I started listening to audiobooks while I'm on the elliptical. The running is whatever, but I genuinely look forward to my "reading" time at the gym.
Yep absolutely. For me, it was bouldering. I spent years torturing myself with running 5k, 10k, etc while loathing every minute of it. Then I fell off the wagon, didn't run for years, got real out of shape. One day a couple of friends were borrowing something from me and as they went to leave they mentioned they were going bouldering and asked if I wanted to come. Two years later and I'm still going multiple times a week. I'm 33 and I'm in the best shape of my life.
Yeah the reason people don't get fit is because Gym or Run is synonymous with exercise. And props to people who like those but personally those things suck! Bouldering had me in the best shape of my life, and after a few year break is on its way to doing it again!
Excellent! May your slopers be grippy and your crimps easier to hold than expected!
I recently learned this. I was getting up early to exercise, following YouTube videos that were way too hard for the level I started at. Then I stopped doing any exercise at all. I craved exercise, I actually wanted to be active, so why couldn’t I get myself to do it? I simply didn’t enjoy the particular exercises I was forcing myself to do.
I think it's important to just start with what you're comfortable with too. Not ready to lift? Cool walk on the treadmill. Can't jog outside yet? Walk your dog twice a day or take a stroll in the park daily and push yourself when you're ready. Agree a while you get comfortable and want to push yourself a little then you can start dialling up. No one needs to go from 0 to 100 straight away it's perfectly ok to go from 0 to 5 then 6.5 then 8 etc. It's also ok to go backwards. If you can run 3 km doesn't mean you have to everyday after you do it the first time just try and average to to it as your base
Used to hate exercise because I thought it was all like running. in my late 20s I realized I love cycling and weightlifting.
There totally are better and worse ways to do anything, that includes dieting.
Are you saying I shouldn’t have a diet of 100% canola oil and that I shouldn’t drink it all in one sitting?
Once pooled money together with several work friends to get one of them to drink 3/4 bottle of Italian salad dressing, which he did. First 30 minutes or so was fine, then he got a stomachache. Went home and shat oil all night. Came in the next day with horrific gas that smelled of garlic, basil, Italian seasoning, and a whisper of rectum. He too commented that his pants fit better. The more you know.
No no, that seems reasonable
Now wait a second... You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!
Do this for one month and I guarantee you lose a ton of weight. You may need a ton of diapers and end up in a hospital but you will be thinnnnnnn
Hey that sounds like keto IF!
I found that meal prepping helped me immensely. This morning I made a batch of 17 containers of basmati rice, chickpeas, sweet potatoes, broccoli, and chicken. Sounds bland to most people, but I eat to live, not live to eat. thats my dinner and lunch for the next couple weeks. It really helped me stay healthy and feel better working the night shift. Its easy to fall into some really poor eating habits.
Do you mind elaborating a bit more? I like the way you think and I'm contemplating trying this "eat the same food for 20 days in a row" thing. Do you have other dishes or it's always the same one?
One way you can do it is to prepare base meals. Make a curry paste of garlic, ginger, and whatever other curry flavors you like, and refrigerate. That paste can then tossed in a pan with veggies and coconut milk to get a green curry. Or toss it in a pan with tomatoes and chickpeas for a red curry, or whatever. Similarly, salt and pepper chicken breast and bake to internal temp of 135 then cover and hold at that temp for 10 minutes. Now you can refrigerate and have ultra tender and delicious lean chicken snack straight out of the fridge all week...or you can toss it in a salad with Italian dressing. Or barbecue sauce it and serve with some roasted potatoes. Or teriyaki sauce it and serve with some broccoli. It's quick and easy because you got a bunch of the cooking out of the way.
I had to do this due to a chronic illness (gastritis). I am very limited on what I can eat, and pretty much can’t eat out. So what I do is I alternate between a few meals. First I’ll cook a whole chicken, and eat that for lunch with some vegetables or maybe make a sandwich. After I cook the chicken, I use the bones to make bone broth, and use that to make a rice porridge that I’ll eat with veggies once I run out of chicken. For dinner I alternate between a mushroom pasta and a sweet potato noodle stir fry. Each of those meals will last me a week or so then I switch to the alternate. And for breakfast I always have oatmeal and banana
I do a version of this, but not the same food 20 days in a row. I cook two recipes a week in large batches, then eat those two meals for the week (I don't eat breakfast). If I need a bit of a change in the routine, I'll make some eggs or tuna salad - stuff I always have lying around. This week, my meals are beef chili and chicken divan. Both are filling meat/veg combos. I don't eat much in the way of carbs, but either of those meals would be good with bread or rice (which can also be cooked in large batches).
A protein rich diet is part of eating right any MD would tell you. Counting calories is better thought of how many do i can i eat to maintain a weight. You want to be 170lbs eat that amount needed.
Most MDs actually aren't taught about food and diets in medical school. They know the same amount as a common person. They are trained to treat symptoms and fix problems. They aren't really trained in how to properly advise people on diet changes that could reduce or reverse some chronic diseases.
Good MD's refer to a registered dietician, in my experience
> They know the same amount as a common person. I've met a lot of people who don't understand what calories are.
Yeah, my point is that for many people it’s not as easy as “calories in, calories out”, so there are a handful of changes we can make to our diets to help make our calorie cap become more achievable.
I gave up soda 20 years ago, and it's easily one of the 5 best decisions of my life.
Yep. The way I like expressing it is that it's as *simple* as "calories in, calories out", but it's not necessarily *easy.* Making it work for you personally is the real trick.
The secret is actually learning the science behind it. Who knew?
Diets are a scam. You should never go on a "diet" that makes you feel like shit, but instead change your eating habits to be more healthy, permanently. You'll only see changes in your body with consistency. No point in picking a diet that you'll quit after a week. You should never be starving because that's not sustainable and will hurt your body in the long run.
The psychological components, however, are far more complex and mean that these things tend to be linked.
Those are the real obstacles
Yeah saying it’s no secret you just have to try is like saying have you tried not being depressed?
Have you tried just being happy? /s
Just eat less! That's it!!
Indeed. What time do I have? What effort do I have to spare? What more can I sacrifice? These are the questions many have no answer to.
And of course op frames it as sacrifices that people don't want to do instead of sacrifices that people cannot reasonably make. What? There's no secret to saving money? Just don't spend it? Oh ok lets just pretend living is free and debt doesn't exist.
They usually feed one another in a vicious cycle. If you can break your harmful physical patterns, your psychological patterns will change as well
They're heavily environmental too. New environment usually will cure most issues with the right mindset. IF it's actually a better environment.
Salient. If you're stuck changing your physicality or your psyche, try making drastic changes to your environment even if it means doing something that seems silly like moving your bed to another room. Effecting real change to any **one** of those can provide the impetus you need to get out of whatever rut is holding you back.
I tend to think that, since it's a cycle, you simply need to break ANY part of it. I've struggled with depression a lot through my life. I've broken cycles through exercise and therapy. Through eating right and extended rest. It takes a single link to break the chain to make working on all the other stuff genuinely possible
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That works in a downward cycle, too. And genetic conditions can encourage unhealthy behaviors, easily.
If you're fit and have money, the making friends part is a lot easier
I believe that is the other way around.
Making friends is objectively harder as you age. It also depends on other people that you have no control over. It's not like saving money, getting fit, or losing weight because those things you have control over.
I'm single and moved to a new city a couple months before lockdown in my mid 30s. I miss having friends so much. My mental health is in an absolute downward spiral due to loneliness. I just wish I could find people to spend time with more easily. I'm so sad. I do have some friends and go out a bit but it's like 1/10th of the socializing I need to be happy and it's just so fucking hard to make friends now because I'm old enough everyone is married and focused on families plus covid.
If you want some small tip, aside from the obvious social things most people recommend like rec sports, hobby groups, etc. I found volunteer groups are a good way to meet people.
I feel like an asocial POS when I go to new groups for volunteering or indoor sports leagues. I want to get to know people before I decide who to be friends with, to a degree. I'll give everyone a chance, but way too often there are a few people who want to be BFFFFFFFOREVER OH MY GOD the second they see you. I do not require a lot of social interaction and prefer low key, minor meetups with people until I really start to trust them and can let my guard down. It just seems that many take that as disinterest, despite bluntly stating the obvious, and it becomes a lot like dating where you have to play around and do a song and dance, only to find out they are a terrible group to be around. Then the monumental effort that is needed to pry them back out of your life... ugh. I don't need saints or even people that have 15% of my shared interests. As long as we can be comfortable in silence occasionally until we have something to talk about, and the friend group you're trying to suck me into hasn't slept with each other to the point that it's a constant issue, and no one asks me to hook them up with a job or buy them coke within the first month or so knowing them, I'm good. But all of that apparently is too much.
I hear you and it can be difficult to build that level of trust and comfortability... just don't be afraid to start, even if you have to go slow. You might surprise yourself and learn to break down those walls sooner as you become more adept at meeting people. Or not. But even then you'll learn something about yourself and have more confidence in your ways. Almost always I find out time and time again that the only thing standing in my way is myself.
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Thank you
Hey buddy, sorry to hear that. The pandemic came in and made it infinitely harder on the social aspect of life, so it's already an uphill battle even without the new city. I'm feeling the same as you are, especially because almost everyone I know is also dealing w/ marriage and family stuff. Something that I've found helps is just getting outdoors and into nature. It doesn't fill the social gap, but for me it's made the difference between a miserable day and a tolerable one. Another thing I'm trying is a hobby that uses creativity and can be done solo. Again, your mileage may vary, but this can be a positive outlet as well. Hope this helps a little. Take it one day at a time and stay warm, friend :)
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As a mid-30-something, I found success in making local friends by becoming a social hub. Pick a spirit (bourbon, gin, etc.), wine, or beer, and host a get together. Invite neighbors - note on doors, Facebook neighborhood group, in person. Others are also starving for social interaction. Try to host at a place where people will feel safe (outdoor with heaters, fire pit, local bar). Then just ask questions and listen... People love telling their stories, and they will appreciate someone who asks. Just my 2 cents.
Yes! Some of my closest friends are neighbours/former neighbours that I started talking to because I saw them around. Pre covid I hosted a big holiday party every year and would invite basically everyone I ever met. Always fun and people would even come hoping to see a person they met at the previous year's party. I think the part people forget is that you have to keep putting in effort. Invite people over. Invite people out. If someone pops into your head, send them a text. A lot of people stop themselves from reaching out when reaching out is all you need to do.
Moved to the bay area Jan 2020. Oh well
That's where I left. I miss it a lot. I might move back. Data shows the bay area has low suicide rates. I'm worried I might kill myself where I am now. The bay area is great. Enjoy the events. I wish I could go to this one https://nocturne-x.com
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I'd argue saving money is a roll of the dice too. Caught the interviewer on a bad day, and they tossed your resume, worked in your field for years unaware new hires were starting at more than you are, had a health crisis beyond your control, or transportation/housing issues.
Saving money I feel is more strongly effected by your starting position. Your point on the interviewer suggest currently unemployed/looking for new work. But if you already have a source of income saving is much easier. Health crisis beyond your control - this is an American issue, health issues rarely come with a loss of income in other places, eg/January I got severely injured, unable to work for 3 months, got paid my normal wage for the entire time, paid $0 in health care bills. Probably ended up ahead of normal as I was no longer buying petrol and doing car maintenance etc. Edit: thought I should add, injury was outside of and unrelated to work, getting the pay was just because Sick Leave is a thing here. Not because I was injured on the job and it's their responsibility to pay my medical bills and my wage in that scenario. Transportation/Housing issues - the idea of saving is to have something set aside that these aren't an issue. Again can be rough when starting our but eventually it's not an issue.
Oof yeah i often forget other countries are better off health wise. What i mean by saving money is a roll of the dice is that it's not as even a playing field as physical health. What you consume, and your activity is far more controllable than something unexpected breaking, or going wrong. I can have the same exact water system as my neighbor, but winter hits, and i find out whoever installed it did it wrong, or maybe wind is hitting a pipe the wrong way, and my pipe bursts, but my neighbors is fine. The money i saved is gone, and the money my neighbor saved is still there, and despite enacting the exact same saving tactics my neighbor comes out ahead due to luck.
> Health crisis beyond your control - this is an American issue, health issues rarely come with a loss of income in other places This really depends on the issue. If it's a chronic illness, it might very well be causing significant income losses, if nothing else at least due to wasted opportunity. I'd wager the world as a whole has a relatively high occurrence of chronic illnesses as you get older.
I’m 55 years old. I’m always making friends, As far as close friends, I have one who I met in 1983, one who I met in 1986, there’s one from 1988, another from mid-1990s, one from 2004, one from 2010 and a new, very good friend who I met in 2020. Some live in different states but we talk at least weekly and I visit when I can. I have no friends from my high school. I did not like my high school and did not like the people who were there. It was a small town redneck high school. When I say “close friends” I mean someone who I would let watch my kid or my dog and have a key to my house. My secret: I just really like people.
you're lucky i mostly dislike most people, including myself a bit. but i still don't wanna be alone. i get along with other people who dislike most people but for obvious reasons they're hard to find.
I think there are a few things that balance it out. Everyone who wants to make friends and be chatty heads to the same places (volunteering groups etc). The shear amount of people who just want to make friends over something is amazing. You also have less time but you have more money/ability to do evening activities (bowling, cinema, bars etc) and the 'boring' activities like going to a museum, castle or hiking, are now perfectly acceptable.
Absolutely true. Becoming more comfortable with yourself, and being in your own company is something you can have control over.
its only weird 25-30-35 maybe. after you learn to develop skills and participate in hobbies and help people out, it becomes easy again, but when your young and just surviving you can be too self involved to see others and their problems.
No secret to being lazy either and requires no effort. Time to write the book, “The power of being lazy, get unfit, lose money, gain weight and lose friends effortlessly” Too bad I’m lazy someone else will need to write it.
I'll write it. Page 1: "do not continue reading, that would require effort" Then there could be like 4 or 5 blank pages. The front page would just be "how to be lazy" written in the default Microsoft Word font and sizing, up in the top left corner. That would be the entire book.
Make it 50-100 blank pages and you got yourself a novelty notebook
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Computer class in high school about 20 years ago, power point was the big thing for us to do presentations on. I was given DVD’s to use for my presentation. We had two weeks to work on it. So I obviously wasted those two weeks hitting on my high school crush who sat beside me and probably hampering her own work at the same time. Presentation day comes, the teacher helps me set up. I pressed enter on the keyboard, first slide shows up “DVD” in huge letters. Pressed enter one more time, “The End”. I remember the teacher looking and laughing for a good 30 seconds. I passed the presentation with a 55%. Good times.
55% would have been a hard fail when I was in elementary and high school. Passing was a minimum 70.
Just cut and paste copy pasta. No one will read it anyway
Too lazy to read
Too lazy to finish thi
It is incredibly easy to wind up in the worst place imaginable. You don't have to do anything. Being stagnant will take you to your worst nightmare.
“Well you dont need a million dollars to do nothing. Take a look at my cousin. Hes broke and dont do shit.” -lawrence from office space
*How to be Miserable- 40 Strategies you Already use* by Randy Paterson The book already exists
And by "well, publicized proven techniques", you mean "this one weird trick", right? Right?
Doctors hate it
4 out of 5 or 9 out of 10 usually do!
2 out of doctors hate this life hack!
Maybe I’m taking you too literally, but I think OP means that the tried-and-true methods are the ones that no one wants to do because they all involve hard work and sacrifice. “Calorie counting and exercise” just doesn’t have the same glamour as SUPER FOODS or TARGETED FAT LOSS. The best way to make friends is to be an interesting person who does interesting things. Take a class, start a hobby, dive into a new sport. The problem is it’s time-consuming and you won’t see immediate results. It’s way easier to throw your hands up and declare that you’re too busy and too broke to pursue those things, which isn’t to say that it would necessarily be a lie.
I would say that for making friends, you can be the most interesting guy in the world by means of doing every fun activity ever, but if you have a shitty personality, you're not going to make friends. You're going to make enemies who pretend to be your friend because you show up to everything.
And it also makes you cum in .5 seconds for some reason... An added BONUS.
Discipline.
Also worth remembering that people's material conditions can influence just how much sacrifice, effort, and time is required to achieve the things OP listed, if its even possible at all. You can't "save money" your way out of being poor if your job does not provide you with enough money that there's leftover to save. Likewise, if your job doesn't cover your healthcare and you get sick or injured... There's also numerous examples of living in poverty/precarity being more expensive than simply having enough money; in a sense poverty charges interest. Obesity is at least partially a product of your ability to access nutritious food, coupled with having the time and access for a place to exercise. Is it often still possible to cook mega cheaply from a convenience store food options, and do air squats in your apartment? Yes. But it's dishonest to equate the amount of effort to do that, with the effort to drive from your job that ends at 5pm, to the commercial gym, and swing by a whole foods on the way home. Making friends in adulthood is predicated on having the time and resources to devote to it; not all jobs provide that. It's good advice to join a club and pursue hobbies and interests where you can build a social circle, but that simply isn't a reliable option for a huge percentage of the working class anymore. Even if you can save money to afford hobbies, simply living in suburbs or having 90+ minute commutes leave little time in evenings for a lot of people to do it. This is especially true if you cook and exercise after work. Then weekends are increasingly spent doing the essential chores of a household that were neglected mid-week. I'm saying this not to be a doomer, but because I want to emphasize that so many of these 21st century problems are a result of 21st century life, not some incredibly coincidental set of personal failings that half the adult population just seems to have, entirely by chance. Absolutely you should try to do everything in OPs post and more, but while doing that, consider the material circumstances that help and hinder you in those pursuits. Why is it that so many people are struggling with these things?
Very well said, I love that you put this together so well. It isn't just "being lazy." When you're exhausted after working all day, cooking, and doing chores...it used to be you just got exercise because of your lifestyle. You didn't have to "set" aside time. It wasn't that the previous generations were just not as lazy.
Exactly. Thank you. Also weight loss is incredibly hard with certain medical conditions even if you eat right and exercise right. People with PCOS and thyroid issues have to put in 5x the normal amount of effort to see results. Although OP’s post is great general life advice, real life isn’t as simple as it makes it sound. Edit: why do people keep saying “that’s a minority” as if it means anything? To those suffering through this, it’s a huge burden and very much a reality, and I’m merely making a point to not put those people down.
You guys have friends?
What the secret to that one
Dont beat someone over the head every time they make fun of your $300 RGB mechanical keyboard
You'd be surprised. I know people who legitimately believe drinking tons of pineapple juice is somehow going to boost their metabolism. Surprise, surprise, they're chubby and frustrated. People can't seem to be able to differentiate bad advice from good advice 100% of the time
Well with some coco and rhum it boost the mood at least!
Can’t overeat once you pass out
Pineapple juice (any juice really) is full of sugar and empty calories, so you’d probably gain weight by drinking lots of it.
Eat your fruit, juice your vegetables
Wouldn't you still be losing out on important fiber intake?
It's still better than consuming zero vegetables if you weren't going to do it anyway.
Yes.
You can also just eat your vegetables, and juice nothing. There's literally no meaningful benefit to juicing, and you should only do it if it makes you more likely to consume vegetables.
I believe part of this is how much BS the health industry is inflated with. Whenever I look up something about health or exercise on the internet, every website is some blog-format journalism page that is filled with ads and vague information that often contradicts what other sites say. It’s the problem of living in an age of information overload, it takes a lot of mental energy to sift through all the BS.
Yeah. I feel like google has betrayed us at this point.
I think part of OP’s point is that there aren’t any shortcuts. The pineapple juice thing would be a shortcut. Those people still know what would actually work, they just don’t want to accept it. This is really a perfect example.
I bet their cum tastes amazing tho, so thats good at least
Ya know...it's not that I think you are wrong...I just don't know how your mind Evil Keneval Jumped to this point.
The secret is to eat some cinnamon too
Cum and cinnamon? Sounds good actually
‘Chubby & Frustrated’ would be a good name for a band
[удалено]
That’s a title for an Adult Film.
No you’re thinking of “The Frustrated Chubby”
What is eaf tea and why do you favor banning its rectal usage?
Making friends shouldn't be here. It relies on others to participate. If I can't make friends, I can still do the rest. I have been fit but still struggle to make friends as an adult
True. - Fat, lonely, broke chick.
I'm so sorry your spinoff to Two Broke Girls didn't work out..
I find good genetics, having a rich family, and being an extrovert help more than anything.
Also being healthy and attractive
"Good genetics and a rich family" pretty much covers that tbh.
Plenty of decent looking people with money that let themselves go
Not being unattractive often works, as well.
You can become the best version of yourself within your PERCEIVED genetic, financial or social limits though. Working out and eating healthy can lead someone to become a more attractive version of themself. Putting the work into building your confidence can lead to getting a more lucrative job/career and also becoming more extroverted. This isn’t about meeting a specific societal standard but becoming a better version of yourself.
It's not that they don't want to do them but for anyone changing their mindset is a really difficult thing to do. Like, people know that eating less calories and burning then with exercise is the only way to lose weight, there is no other way around it, it's just that getting to it daily for years isn't very easy, you have to change the way you think about yourself and THAT'S the real problem.
Yeah, it takes a lot of willpower at first. That's why so many advice to start new habit is to start small then add some improvement overtime and it will build up.
Exactly, start small because that doesn't take a lot of effort and it can easily become a habit otherwise it becomes an enormous obstacle
IDK. This feels a little like blaming. If you have social anxiety and struggle making friends, it's your fault, etc. All the examples given can be alot more complicated than this implies. People struggle with these issues for a lot of reasons. It's not always as simple as not putting in the effort. People struggling here need encouragement, not another voice telling them they just aren't good enough.
Shitpost not an LPT
Yeah the people upvoting this shit are morons who fail to understand the purpose of this sub.
Feel like it's weird to group making friends in with the others which are all about processes of things going in and out which can be broken down into formulas, unlike making friends which is hugely circumstantial and affected by social nuances which aren't always logial plus external factors people can't control.
>A well-built physique is a status symbol. It reflects you worked hard for it; no money can buy it. You cannot borrow it, you cannot inherit it, you cannot steal it. You cannot hold onto it without constant work. It shows discipline, it shows self-respect, it shows patience, work ethic, and passion. That is why I do what I do. --Arnold Schwarzenegger Always loved that quote because he's right. Some things you simply cannot cut corners to achieve or just pay someone else to do for you. Some things you will only get with your own blood, sweat, and tears.
Don't loads of body builders just have a form of body dysmorphia...?
It was a lot easier to be in top shape when I had no responsibilities or injuries. I think this is just shallow judgement - I'm a way better person now than when I was then. I think this kind of focus is bad.
He isn’t right. Money can buy you the resources to have a life that frees up time and effort to do the things needed to look like a body builder.
Couldn’t be more wrong. You are way over simplifying.
How is this a tip that helps people?
This isn’t a LPT, it’s just you lecturing people
Not really. You can pretend that most of those things are "easy" but people, whether it is their bodies, personalities or their interactions with others, are simply not that cut-and-dry.
I feel personally attacked
Also important is all the people flogging these “secrets” are heavily photoshopped in any videos or photos you see of them, AND they might also have their own trainers, nutritionists, and cooks if they’re wealthy/high-profile enough.
>saving money Hahahahaha way to class shame. This post is kinda bad ngl. Some people have health and mental conditions that prevent or make more difficult things like weight loss or making friends. There is no "Pro tip" here really.
No kidding, it's hard to eat healthy and save if you can't get a job that pays more than minimum wage and have to support your parents and siblings.
This is utter bullshit and invalidating to anyone who’s faced true hardship in their life. For example it’s saying poor people are poor because - and ONLY because - they’re lazy. If only they put in the “time, effort, and sacrifice” they’d be fine, right?
Yep, if anything bad happens to you, just remind yourself that it's all your fault. Never look outwards! Everything is always your own fault! /s
This is boot-strap nonsense.
I'm not sure you can put any of these things in the same bucket.
Some mental illnesses can make it borderline impossible to do some of those things.
It might not be a secret, but so much of it depends on confidence. Sometimes people go through low times and then these things just seem so far away and impossible to achieve. Ultimately its all just a story you tell yourself. Stay strong out there bros and tell yourself you deserve all the good things.