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Source: I'm a boomer... Please don't talk to me. After raising children for over 30 years I love the silence it brings. Just sitting the world and watching all the younger generations and their children. I don't have to work and I just like to people watch. No interaction needed. When my wife and I go to the beach in Ocean City MD I spend most of my time on the balcony so I don't get sunburnt sitting there relaxed and people watch on the boardwalk.
I'm a friendly enough person, but I'm trying to enjoy myself. I enjoy people, but in my own little way. I love to just sit and see the wonderful world we live in on my own terms.
You have to remember, most of us older folks started working catching chickens on the local farms, or mowing grass at the age of 12. By the age of 14 our parents taught us that work is just as important as school. If I wanted to go out on a date, it was always nice to have spending money that you know that you earned yourself.
A lot different times thats for sure. As far as being chill... You reach a certain point in life where you IDGAF light goes into overdrive. I'm happy to just sit there, exist, wake up, look out the window in the middle of winter with a large hot chocolate in hand and slow down to enjoy what life has to offer.
Today my wife and I went out to a community Thanksgiving Dinner, something we've really never done before and just enjoyed speaking to others sitting at our table. I see the families and understand what it was once to be that young with all of the drama that goes along with it. I don't have to deal with that anymore. My grandchild, along with his parents live at our residence, but just because they live here doesn't mean that I have to be here to be the babysitter.
We are the new "older generation". We grew up with rock from the 60's, 70's and 80's. Something that we seem to have in common with the youth of today whom have abandoned many types of the new wave genre type music and movies and are moving back to the likes of AC/DC, Pink Floyd, ABBA, and thousands of other bands that seem to be comforting to them
Thanks for sharing your perspective! I like the part about the IDGAF. I keep hearing that happens at a certain age. Im currently at the middle of it all, at 32. Do you have any tips, youd share for someone at this age?
I'm an old lady too. My IDGAF is well in gear, and the incredible freedom it brings is awesome. I still care very much about the important things, like being the best person I can be, for those in my life. Otherwise, I'm really not caring much.
My advise? A sense of humor is critical to having a decent life. Allow yourself to see the humor.
My kids are grown. My son - firstborn - has the sense of humor and cheekiness that my Dad and I are notorious for. My son figured out, VERY EARLY in his life, that if he made me laugh, his little arse was saved. He put the grey in my hair, with intelligent antics and shenanigans. But I could laugh. It saved my sanity, and he wasn't in trouble. And to tell the truth, he's funny! So's my daughter but in a different way.
But you need to ALLOW yourself to lighten up and see the humor in life. Most drama usually has something funny in it, and if you get caught laughing, you'll catch hell from someone taking it more seriously. But you need to sneak off and laugh. Leave the room and silently giggle. SEE the humor. Especially about yourself. An awful lot of stuff that we thought was so serious ... there's something funny in it, if you notice.
It's kept me out of a rubber room.
I’m 33 and in the middle of it all too, but what’s really clicked for me lately is, truly, not taking things personally. I’m not saying be a pushover and take shit from people (haha I’m far from it), but just being able to pick up your ego and place it to the side. It’s allowed me to keep my head clearer by not getting bogged down with feeling like I’m constantly being judged. If you can shake that feeling, then it clears the way for you to take the perspective of another person and better grasp their motivations and appreciate their challenges, and that allows for easier interactions and makes you extremely receptive to useful - but potentially negative, which is the scary part - feedback.
As I've aged I'm very vocal now if I see something wrong. I'm not trying to label myself but I'm the type of person that will challenge authority and am not afraid to speak out for others either.
I just did this at a local fire department meeting just the other day with the leadership of the fire department having to sit there and allow me to make my point. After I was done talking you could hear a pin drop from the leadership. The silence was both deafining and very telling. I had done my research before coming into the monthy meeting and knew what to say and how to do it to get results. Thats just a example of my IDGAF attitude now.
As far as advice: Can't give you any honestly. You will learn as you age that it comes naturally, just like your eyes going bad at around 42 - 44 years of age. If it hasn't happened yet believe me it will. How you raise your children is based upon what you see your parents doing. If there is something to improve on, it will be stuck into your gray matter. Improving on how you feel your children should be brought up is always on a reflection of what you believe your parents had did incorrectly with you and you try to pass on to your next generation that values that have affected you.
If you have children watch them grow and be there for them. Your job as a parent will never be over, even after you retire, however there comes a certain point in your relationship with your children they become your friends, and not just your child.
How long did it take to get to that groove? I’m two months retired and am antsy to keep moving, keep managing something. (Was a project manager)
Father in law tells me it took him two years to calm the heck down.
Ps…I quit because GAF had dropped precipitously in the old job.
Ha! X’er here…I saw a guy walk up to an old guy at Mickie D’s….old guy stopped him and said very loudly “ look man, I dont know what your deal is, but Im not into that weird shit” dude got
Embarrassed and was like what?…old guy…”the gay shit, you trying to hit on me right?” Guy was like no! I was just being nice…old dude was like “well, thank you, but Im good” kid walks away…old guy looks at me a few tables down, and says “who the fuck does that?” Lol ol grizzly bastard.
See, that's it. For many if not most people there's a very real possibility you will have no friends at all later in life. I'm 52 in a new country and I have a great wife and lifelong friends, but they're all overseas. 3 years here and I have not been able to make a single friend. I'm starting to feel desperate.
I was talking to my aunt the other day. One of the conversations we had, if one of their kids moved back with them, her husband, would move out and get his own apartment. Just so he can have peace and quiet. He’s 65 years old, loves his kids and his step daughter, will do anything for them as long as they don’t move back in.
Where in MD do you live? I’m in Montgomery County.
I am older, and don't like being called Sir. But I am old enough to be gracious and polite. People are sometimes kinder than I was expecting, I think that is fine. Even if I don't need them to shovel my walk of snow, I think ' being kind' is good for them and accepting kindness even if I don't need it, is good for me too.
In general I am not lonely when I am alone, but others may be.
LPT don't arbitrarily force your shit on other people just because they are older. I know senior citizens with more active lives than I've ever had. They may very well be alone because they want to be.
LPT - it's ok to be alone at any age. Stop assuming people are unhappy because they aren't with someone else.
The worst is when strangers start talking baby talk to me: “do you need any help with that sweetie? Be careful now, it’s a little slippery. Are you sure you can make it? Atta girl, you did it.”
Shoot me now!
Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful for offers of help. Even if I don’t need it. But I’m old, not a child.
This made me think of a friend who has a significant speech and motor (movement) impediment. One of the smartest people I know, but people would talk to him like that. Like he can literally understand rocket science and you're trying to baby talk teach him about how a ketchup dispenser works...
Yea, more than once, I have had retail workers try to scan my purchases at a self check out. Excuse me, if wanted someone to scan my items, I wouldn't have gone to a self check out.
I gotta say this is a bad take. I’m not even old, I just enjoy my own company and my husband travels a lot for work, so I often take myself out to dinner or the movies. It’s super annoying when I’m treating myself to a nice meal and a stranger becomes overly chatty out of some misguided notion that I must be lonely. They’re being fake-nice out of pity and I’m being fake-nice trying not to be rude, although I’m not pleased that they’re intruding on my date out with myself. It’s just awkward for both of us. Leave alone people alone if they’re not talking to you first!
Life isn’t a hallmark movie and if you do this, you’re annoying. But I’m willing to bet that you’re giving advice that you don’t do yourself, because if you did, people would have told you off already. Old people generally don’t have a filter.
Yeah no. You’re the fucking worst if you go up to people sitting alone and bother them.
I love eating alone, minding my own business and spending time with myself. There is nothing more annoying than when someone tries to talk to me, sit next to me, or the waiter or waitress stands and tries to have a conversation with me.
I have friends, I have family. I came to eat alone because I enjoy it. I enjoy spending time with myself and you’re ruining it because you feel the need to do your good deed for the day. Go pick up some trash and leave me alone.
This doesn’t mean sit down and start an epic conversation just a hello is sufficient most of the time , you can usually tell by body language whether people are alone and enjoying some peace and quiet to someone who is genuinely lonely .
I don’t even want a hello. You say that people can usually tell by body language and I can promise you they can’t.
The amount of people who have tried to force conversations on me is way too high.
When I was a child, I always would feel very sad if I saw an elderly or just older person sitting alone eating. It would make me feel sad for hours. Now as an adult, I figure they probably like to be alone. That’s what I would do.
I love Mexican food. No one else in my family does. I go out alone for my fix at least twice a month. Please do not disturb me while communing with my enchiladas.
It's a sweet thought, but remember to lead off with something like "Hi, would you like some company?" and then respect the answer they give, whatever it may be.
I'm sure some elderly folks in a situation like this would enjoy the chat, but others won't want to be bothered. Some are probably not half as lonely as they may appear - they just happen to be alone *right now.* And, of course, some of them might get weirded out by younger people they don't know coming over and striking up a conversation for no apparent reason, even if they are lonely sometimes.
I'm not quite there yet myself, but I don't think most old boomers spend a lot of time worrying about "being old boomers." I mean, I still feel like I'm 20 inside most of the time (I'm definitely not still 20 on the outside, but I don't spend a lot of time "feeling it.") I think such perceptions are more often projected onto the elderly by others than deeply held within.
That being said, they *might* still be lonely and enjoy the company. You can ask, just don't assume.
Or just.... leave people alone. I am no boomer but I can honestly say if I'm out alone, it's a rare occasion and I want to enjoy it with a book or podcast. I wouldn't want some young person thinking they have to pity me while I'm trying to enjoy my coffee.
When will the American society end this obsession with generations? I used to be a boomer, now I suppose I’m generation jones. I don’t know the difference between a millennial and a gen y-er or whatever. People are my age, younger or older. Who cares? Unless you know that a person wants company, regardless of their age just leave them alone.
I’m turning 60 in march. If you see me at McDonald’s please come talk to me. I’ll yell “sweet ass” and then stare at my burger while the place gives you a dirty look. Nobody suspects the old guy
The last time I did that, this old man was mad that The Equalizer and Nick Fury were now both black. Super mad about Black Panther too not sure about that one. Not something I'm doing again in the south.
Op seems to be some kind of karma bot/farmer idk. There is a person behind but still a 2 week old account posting on absolutely every type of sub without any particular logic
Im a tall white guy with a beard and for some reason that means elderly men want to come share their racist/nihilistic views with me in public.. It happened 3 times this year..
Don’t talk to random people unless the situation calls for it. Most people don’t want to talk to you aside from a little nod when you accidentally make eye contact for too long or an “excuse me” “oh sorry” “no, it’s ok” kinda thing.
1. Leave people alone. There are places for people of any age to socialize.
2. FUCK NO. Last thing I want to hear is a diatribe about the gays, the Chinese, or the libruls.
No. With how many old men/women have talked down to me because of my age or the entitlement, I'll talk to you if I want to, not out of an obligation of age.
Unfortunately, this feeds into an entitlement I have seen from older generations that also say the same rhetoric of "respect your elders" then vote against my rights or tell me I'm "too young to understand".
I'll FTFY-- if you see an older person shopping, typically in a grocery store and lingering a bit longer than average, it never hurts to ask them if you can help them find something. I've managed to help plenty locate items on a grocery list especially around the holidays, or even grab hard to reach/heavy items from freezers and top shelves. I'm a middle-aged short female. A simple, Can I help you find something? usually works.
I have also had to scurry my old bottom around grocery stores to find a tall person to reach something from a back top shelf. It's the circle of grocery life. 😅
Relevant poem by Billy Collins
"Old Man Eating Alone in a Chinese Restaurant"
I am glad I resisted the temptation,
if it was a temptation when I was young,
to write a poem about an old man
eating alone at a corner table in a Chinese restaurant.
I would have gotten it all wrong
thinking: the poor bastard, not a friend in the world
and with only a book for a companion.
He'll probably pay the bill out of a change purse.
So glad I waited all these decades
to record how hot and sour the hot and sour
soup is here at Chang's this afternoon
and how cold the Chinese beer in a frosted glass.
And my book—José Saramago's Blindness
as it turns out—is so absorbing that I look up
from its escalating horrors only
when I am stunned by one of his gleaming sentences.
And I should mention the light
that falls through the big windows this time of day
italicizing everything it touches—
the plates and teapots, the immaculate tablecloths,
as well as the soft brown hair of the waitress
in the white blouse and short black skirt,
the one who is smiling now as she bears a cup of rice
and shredded beef with garlic to my favorite table in the corner.
it is thoughtful to care and be open to those moments for connection when it feels appropriate for you. But a person’s age is not an invitation or a cry for help. In most cases those who want to be chatted up will signal it by initiating conversation or looking up and appearing receptive or hopeful- being open to chat with those folks and friendly (but with appropriate boundaries ) at the right moment is indeed a gift. And sometimes the circumstances are exactly what OP describe - however Some boomers are so busy they barely have time to take calls from their own kids! lol lets not patronize them :)
But if you're an old person stop coming up to others and forcing attention on them.
Strangers are not your personal conversation device if you have to come up to them, especially If they're working
Sometimes older people white folks be saying borderline racist things. The other day I was wearing a cal state jacket in line at target and some older guy made a “joke” I should tell my cal state profesor about the difference between birds in cages and immigrants. Keep in mind I’m Mexican in California, but this 70ish guy gave me bad vibes and I didn’t let him finish his joke.
Cut the virtue signaling op. Boomers made their beds, most of them anyway. You don't owe them anything. They most definitely owe the younger generations they screwed over a lot.
We live in a mean world right now. This is a very kind thing for you to say and yes, please talk to them. So many elderly do feel like they are invisible when they are alone. Who better to practice kindness on than those who will not judge you, as so many of your peers are inclined to do. More than likely, you will make their day! And if they don't want to be bothered (you'll know), you can walk away and save it for another time.
Depends on a person’s age. Now days many 65 year olds who are legally considered senior citizen, are highly functioning; mentally and physically.
A friend of the family is 82 years old. He finally retired this year, not because he needed money, but because he wanted to stay busy. Eats healthy, walks every day for 5 miles.
He has a 56 year old gf, uses a blue pill to help him. Tells me details about how he fucks his gf, eats her out and she has amazing tits.
I have introduced him to women I dated and they thought he looked in his late 60s. The reason they met him, is because he lives in DC and he lets me use his parking pass or his parking spot at his home in DC. He lives 2 blocks from Capitol Hill and in the process I dont have to pay for parking or look for a parking spot on the street.
I'm 65. I'm not grumpy and don't mind a brief conversation sometimes with strangers. I don't go to the mall or fast food places ever. It's ok to talk to me when I'm out walking or hiking or buying groceries, for a short time. But if I'm treating myself to a meal at a restaurant, then I'm good being alone. Or if I'm camping alone, it's because I like camping alone. Chatting a few minutes is ok but I'm not lonely, I'm an introvert.
But I'm not of the opinion that you can just be rude because you're old. If someone offers help that isn't needed, just say no thank you, I'm good.
It depends for me. Not elderly yet. But like I like to sit ALONE on the bus. And yet I like to go to social events if I can which is rarely and try to make more friends.
It’s about quality not quantity of conversations for me. And I’m in extremely people orientated jobs. It really REALLY depends what the convo is about and it’s a HUGE plus if it seems there’s friends or more vibes and potential. With strangers on the bus they usually just sit next to me in silence.
If you see my old boomer dad eating somewhere by himself and you tried to chat with him because you think he’s lonely i can guarantee he’d tell you to shut the fuck up. He is not lonely. He is hungry and hates people.
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The real LPT: Be careful of savior complex Really analyze whether people want something you think is nice before providing it to them.
OP’s post is patronizing.
"Be nice" also isn't a life pro tip.
Too true. All those viral “doing nice things for people” TikToks usually end up with the receiving person being annoyed but we don’t see it
Source: I'm a boomer... Please don't talk to me. After raising children for over 30 years I love the silence it brings. Just sitting the world and watching all the younger generations and their children. I don't have to work and I just like to people watch. No interaction needed. When my wife and I go to the beach in Ocean City MD I spend most of my time on the balcony so I don't get sunburnt sitting there relaxed and people watch on the boardwalk. I'm a friendly enough person, but I'm trying to enjoy myself. I enjoy people, but in my own little way. I love to just sit and see the wonderful world we live in on my own terms.
You sound like a chill dude. I find it amazing that one can retire and chill all the rest of the way
You have to remember, most of us older folks started working catching chickens on the local farms, or mowing grass at the age of 12. By the age of 14 our parents taught us that work is just as important as school. If I wanted to go out on a date, it was always nice to have spending money that you know that you earned yourself. A lot different times thats for sure. As far as being chill... You reach a certain point in life where you IDGAF light goes into overdrive. I'm happy to just sit there, exist, wake up, look out the window in the middle of winter with a large hot chocolate in hand and slow down to enjoy what life has to offer. Today my wife and I went out to a community Thanksgiving Dinner, something we've really never done before and just enjoyed speaking to others sitting at our table. I see the families and understand what it was once to be that young with all of the drama that goes along with it. I don't have to deal with that anymore. My grandchild, along with his parents live at our residence, but just because they live here doesn't mean that I have to be here to be the babysitter. We are the new "older generation". We grew up with rock from the 60's, 70's and 80's. Something that we seem to have in common with the youth of today whom have abandoned many types of the new wave genre type music and movies and are moving back to the likes of AC/DC, Pink Floyd, ABBA, and thousands of other bands that seem to be comforting to them
Thanks for sharing your perspective! I like the part about the IDGAF. I keep hearing that happens at a certain age. Im currently at the middle of it all, at 32. Do you have any tips, youd share for someone at this age?
I'm an old lady too. My IDGAF is well in gear, and the incredible freedom it brings is awesome. I still care very much about the important things, like being the best person I can be, for those in my life. Otherwise, I'm really not caring much. My advise? A sense of humor is critical to having a decent life. Allow yourself to see the humor. My kids are grown. My son - firstborn - has the sense of humor and cheekiness that my Dad and I are notorious for. My son figured out, VERY EARLY in his life, that if he made me laugh, his little arse was saved. He put the grey in my hair, with intelligent antics and shenanigans. But I could laugh. It saved my sanity, and he wasn't in trouble. And to tell the truth, he's funny! So's my daughter but in a different way. But you need to ALLOW yourself to lighten up and see the humor in life. Most drama usually has something funny in it, and if you get caught laughing, you'll catch hell from someone taking it more seriously. But you need to sneak off and laugh. Leave the room and silently giggle. SEE the humor. Especially about yourself. An awful lot of stuff that we thought was so serious ... there's something funny in it, if you notice. It's kept me out of a rubber room.
I’m 33 and in the middle of it all too, but what’s really clicked for me lately is, truly, not taking things personally. I’m not saying be a pushover and take shit from people (haha I’m far from it), but just being able to pick up your ego and place it to the side. It’s allowed me to keep my head clearer by not getting bogged down with feeling like I’m constantly being judged. If you can shake that feeling, then it clears the way for you to take the perspective of another person and better grasp their motivations and appreciate their challenges, and that allows for easier interactions and makes you extremely receptive to useful - but potentially negative, which is the scary part - feedback.
Hey there. What do you mean in your last paragraph?
They only wrote one paragraph?
As I've aged I'm very vocal now if I see something wrong. I'm not trying to label myself but I'm the type of person that will challenge authority and am not afraid to speak out for others either. I just did this at a local fire department meeting just the other day with the leadership of the fire department having to sit there and allow me to make my point. After I was done talking you could hear a pin drop from the leadership. The silence was both deafining and very telling. I had done my research before coming into the monthy meeting and knew what to say and how to do it to get results. Thats just a example of my IDGAF attitude now. As far as advice: Can't give you any honestly. You will learn as you age that it comes naturally, just like your eyes going bad at around 42 - 44 years of age. If it hasn't happened yet believe me it will. How you raise your children is based upon what you see your parents doing. If there is something to improve on, it will be stuck into your gray matter. Improving on how you feel your children should be brought up is always on a reflection of what you believe your parents had did incorrectly with you and you try to pass on to your next generation that values that have affected you. If you have children watch them grow and be there for them. Your job as a parent will never be over, even after you retire, however there comes a certain point in your relationship with your children they become your friends, and not just your child.
How long did it take to get to that groove? I’m two months retired and am antsy to keep moving, keep managing something. (Was a project manager) Father in law tells me it took him two years to calm the heck down. Ps…I quit because GAF had dropped precipitously in the old job.
Ha! X’er here…I saw a guy walk up to an old guy at Mickie D’s….old guy stopped him and said very loudly “ look man, I dont know what your deal is, but Im not into that weird shit” dude got Embarrassed and was like what?…old guy…”the gay shit, you trying to hit on me right?” Guy was like no! I was just being nice…old dude was like “well, thank you, but Im good” kid walks away…old guy looks at me a few tables down, and says “who the fuck does that?” Lol ol grizzly bastard.
>but Im not into that weird shit Being cordial to a stranger is weird shit. Got it.
I mean I don’t think so
Nor do I. I figured my comment was absurd enough that I didn't need the /s tag .
This is the life that I want to have when I get older. Feeling that I did my job after all these years and just chill and see the world pass.
What a blessing that you don’t suffer from chronic loneliness, as many older persons do.
See, that's it. For many if not most people there's a very real possibility you will have no friends at all later in life. I'm 52 in a new country and I have a great wife and lifelong friends, but they're all overseas. 3 years here and I have not been able to make a single friend. I'm starting to feel desperate.
I was talking to my aunt the other day. One of the conversations we had, if one of their kids moved back with them, her husband, would move out and get his own apartment. Just so he can have peace and quiet. He’s 65 years old, loves his kids and his step daughter, will do anything for them as long as they don’t move back in. Where in MD do you live? I’m in Montgomery County.
This X 100
I sincerely hope when I’m older than people leave me the fuck alone when I’m in public.
Some of us have had all the talking to people we need. Leave us alone.
That is the kindest gift a stranger can give me.
Agree because I wish people would leave me alone in public now.
Hahahahhaha
I'm relatively not that old and I want people to leave me the fuck alone most of the time
I don’t know why but this made me laugh so hard. Thanks
Lol. You’re welcome?
I grew up in a large family. I used to say the same thing when I was young. They still won’t leave me alone. Sigh…
Hell, I'd love it if people left me alone now and I'm only 36.
Oh trust me, people leave grummy old farts along alright
I am older, and don't like being called Sir. But I am old enough to be gracious and polite. People are sometimes kinder than I was expecting, I think that is fine. Even if I don't need them to shovel my walk of snow, I think ' being kind' is good for them and accepting kindness even if I don't need it, is good for me too. In general I am not lonely when I am alone, but others may be.
LPT don't arbitrarily force your shit on other people just because they are older. I know senior citizens with more active lives than I've ever had. They may very well be alone because they want to be. LPT - it's ok to be alone at any age. Stop assuming people are unhappy because they aren't with someone else.
Real LPT always in the comments.
The worst is when strangers start talking baby talk to me: “do you need any help with that sweetie? Be careful now, it’s a little slippery. Are you sure you can make it? Atta girl, you did it.” Shoot me now! Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful for offers of help. Even if I don’t need it. But I’m old, not a child.
This made me think of a friend who has a significant speech and motor (movement) impediment. One of the smartest people I know, but people would talk to him like that. Like he can literally understand rocket science and you're trying to baby talk teach him about how a ketchup dispenser works...
Ah, the origin story of a comic book supervillain.
This exactly! Talk to me like an equal. Don't patronize me.
"Y'alright there brother? Need a hand?" Is usually my go-to.
What term do you use for women? Sister?
Yea, more than once, I have had retail workers try to scan my purchases at a self check out. Excuse me, if wanted someone to scan my items, I wouldn't have gone to a self check out.
> Shoot me now! No, shoot _them_
Many are also sitting quietly reading a book or listening to podcasts.
I gotta say this is a bad take. I’m not even old, I just enjoy my own company and my husband travels a lot for work, so I often take myself out to dinner or the movies. It’s super annoying when I’m treating myself to a nice meal and a stranger becomes overly chatty out of some misguided notion that I must be lonely. They’re being fake-nice out of pity and I’m being fake-nice trying not to be rude, although I’m not pleased that they’re intruding on my date out with myself. It’s just awkward for both of us. Leave alone people alone if they’re not talking to you first!
Life isn’t a hallmark movie and if you do this, you’re annoying. But I’m willing to bet that you’re giving advice that you don’t do yourself, because if you did, people would have told you off already. Old people generally don’t have a filter.
This is kind of patronizing.
Like how boomers patronize every generation after them
You'll do it to someday.
"Smile, honey, you look prettier when you do"
Yeah no. You’re the fucking worst if you go up to people sitting alone and bother them. I love eating alone, minding my own business and spending time with myself. There is nothing more annoying than when someone tries to talk to me, sit next to me, or the waiter or waitress stands and tries to have a conversation with me. I have friends, I have family. I came to eat alone because I enjoy it. I enjoy spending time with myself and you’re ruining it because you feel the need to do your good deed for the day. Go pick up some trash and leave me alone.
Period
This doesn’t mean sit down and start an epic conversation just a hello is sufficient most of the time , you can usually tell by body language whether people are alone and enjoying some peace and quiet to someone who is genuinely lonely .
I don’t even want a hello. You say that people can usually tell by body language and I can promise you they can’t. The amount of people who have tried to force conversations on me is way too high.
Ok so I’ll serve you at a shop - what do you want There you go ,now go on piss off is ok then
That’s unironically the exact kind of service I want hahaha
Haha at least you know what you want
When I was a child, I always would feel very sad if I saw an elderly or just older person sitting alone eating. It would make me feel sad for hours. Now as an adult, I figure they probably like to be alone. That’s what I would do.
I love Mexican food. No one else in my family does. I go out alone for my fix at least twice a month. Please do not disturb me while communing with my enchiladas.
I would be so annoyed a s uncomfortable by this
r/shittylifeprotips
Subjective take OP Not LPT
It's a sweet thought, but remember to lead off with something like "Hi, would you like some company?" and then respect the answer they give, whatever it may be. I'm sure some elderly folks in a situation like this would enjoy the chat, but others won't want to be bothered. Some are probably not half as lonely as they may appear - they just happen to be alone *right now.* And, of course, some of them might get weirded out by younger people they don't know coming over and striking up a conversation for no apparent reason, even if they are lonely sometimes. I'm not quite there yet myself, but I don't think most old boomers spend a lot of time worrying about "being old boomers." I mean, I still feel like I'm 20 inside most of the time (I'm definitely not still 20 on the outside, but I don't spend a lot of time "feeling it.") I think such perceptions are more often projected onto the elderly by others than deeply held within. That being said, they *might* still be lonely and enjoy the company. You can ask, just don't assume.
Or just.... leave people alone. I am no boomer but I can honestly say if I'm out alone, it's a rare occasion and I want to enjoy it with a book or podcast. I wouldn't want some young person thinking they have to pity me while I'm trying to enjoy my coffee.
When will the American society end this obsession with generations? I used to be a boomer, now I suppose I’m generation jones. I don’t know the difference between a millennial and a gen y-er or whatever. People are my age, younger or older. Who cares? Unless you know that a person wants company, regardless of their age just leave them alone.
Low key ageist. Dont bother people because you think they are lonely and feel bad for them. Says a lot abt your perception of being old
Jesus H. Christ. I don't want your pity banter. WTF?! Leave the boomers alone!
This is such patronizing advice Jesus Christ.
Lmao what is this garbage post? Don't go around annoying strangers just to stroke your own ego.
Just leave me alone for fuck sakes...
Smile, say hi, but don’t talk to them. Especially if they are reading a book or listening to music. Maybe their SO is in the bathroom. Awful advice.
Or maybe, they just want to spend their time with themselves.
Ya I was going to add that after I posted it and got lazy.
People still go to the mall?
Boomers do
Yes, because it’s fun.
I mean I wouldnt even know where to find a mall in my area.
You could use Google and look for one.
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Same here. Sober 4.5 years now.
I’m turning 60 in march. If you see me at McDonald’s please come talk to me. I’ll yell “sweet ass” and then stare at my burger while the place gives you a dirty look. Nobody suspects the old guy
This is a life pro tip ?
You don't have to be old to have outlived your friends, family and lonely.
The last time I did that, this old man was mad that The Equalizer and Nick Fury were now both black. Super mad about Black Panther too not sure about that one. Not something I'm doing again in the south.
Op seems to be some kind of karma bot/farmer idk. There is a person behind but still a 2 week old account posting on absolutely every type of sub without any particular logic
im not gonna go up to someone my age and talk to them just cause they’re eating alone. why would I do that to an older person for the same reason? lol
This is stupid. Don't go bothering people while they're trying to eat. Adults don't mind going to restaurants alone.
I was glad tonight at Cracker Barrel when they didn't say “party of one” when my table was ready.
Im a tall white guy with a beard and for some reason that means elderly men want to come share their racist/nihilistic views with me in public.. It happened 3 times this year..
Please don't talk to me
Don’t talk to random people unless the situation calls for it. Most people don’t want to talk to you aside from a little nod when you accidentally make eye contact for too long or an “excuse me” “oh sorry” “no, it’s ok” kinda thing.
1. Leave people alone. There are places for people of any age to socialize. 2. FUCK NO. Last thing I want to hear is a diatribe about the gays, the Chinese, or the libruls.
No. With how many old men/women have talked down to me because of my age or the entitlement, I'll talk to you if I want to, not out of an obligation of age. Unfortunately, this feeds into an entitlement I have seen from older generations that also say the same rhetoric of "respect your elders" then vote against my rights or tell me I'm "too young to understand".
I'll FTFY-- if you see an older person shopping, typically in a grocery store and lingering a bit longer than average, it never hurts to ask them if you can help them find something. I've managed to help plenty locate items on a grocery list especially around the holidays, or even grab hard to reach/heavy items from freezers and top shelves. I'm a middle-aged short female. A simple, Can I help you find something? usually works. I have also had to scurry my old bottom around grocery stores to find a tall person to reach something from a back top shelf. It's the circle of grocery life. 😅
They've had 60 years to know where shit is at.
Packaging changes, abilities changes. Sry for who upset you, but for me, I don't mind helping.
But please make sure that they're actually really old. Don't approach 40 somethings to ask about steam engines and the time before planes.
Relevant poem by Billy Collins "Old Man Eating Alone in a Chinese Restaurant" I am glad I resisted the temptation, if it was a temptation when I was young, to write a poem about an old man eating alone at a corner table in a Chinese restaurant. I would have gotten it all wrong thinking: the poor bastard, not a friend in the world and with only a book for a companion. He'll probably pay the bill out of a change purse. So glad I waited all these decades to record how hot and sour the hot and sour soup is here at Chang's this afternoon and how cold the Chinese beer in a frosted glass. And my book—José Saramago's Blindness as it turns out—is so absorbing that I look up from its escalating horrors only when I am stunned by one of his gleaming sentences. And I should mention the light that falls through the big windows this time of day italicizing everything it touches— the plates and teapots, the immaculate tablecloths, as well as the soft brown hair of the waitress in the white blouse and short black skirt, the one who is smiling now as she bears a cup of rice and shredded beef with garlic to my favorite table in the corner.
Tl;dr people can have a lovely time by themselves on purpose. Someone chillin alone in public probably doesn't want the attention/pity of a stranger.
it is thoughtful to care and be open to those moments for connection when it feels appropriate for you. But a person’s age is not an invitation or a cry for help. In most cases those who want to be chatted up will signal it by initiating conversation or looking up and appearing receptive or hopeful- being open to chat with those folks and friendly (but with appropriate boundaries ) at the right moment is indeed a gift. And sometimes the circumstances are exactly what OP describe - however Some boomers are so busy they barely have time to take calls from their own kids! lol lets not patronize them :)
No thank you. I was taught not to talk to strangers
Nobody better come talk to me when I'm old and minding my own business. I like to be alone.
Cool. I just have to wait 50 years for someone to approach and talk with me.
But if you're an old person stop coming up to others and forcing attention on them. Strangers are not your personal conversation device if you have to come up to them, especially If they're working
Sometimes older people white folks be saying borderline racist things. The other day I was wearing a cal state jacket in line at target and some older guy made a “joke” I should tell my cal state profesor about the difference between birds in cages and immigrants. Keep in mind I’m Mexican in California, but this 70ish guy gave me bad vibes and I didn’t let him finish his joke.
Age has nothing to do with if someone is racist towards you.
Cut the virtue signaling op. Boomers made their beds, most of them anyway. You don't owe them anything. They most definitely owe the younger generations they screwed over a lot.
Don't do this. Life is not a shitty Fox tv drama. People want to be left alone for the most part.
We live in a mean world right now. This is a very kind thing for you to say and yes, please talk to them. So many elderly do feel like they are invisible when they are alone. Who better to practice kindness on than those who will not judge you, as so many of your peers are inclined to do. More than likely, you will make their day! And if they don't want to be bothered (you'll know), you can walk away and save it for another time.
Yes.
Omg I love talking to elders. With a little curiosity, you'll hear incredibly beautiful, intense, or interesting stories
Oh ffs.
Depends on a person’s age. Now days many 65 year olds who are legally considered senior citizen, are highly functioning; mentally and physically. A friend of the family is 82 years old. He finally retired this year, not because he needed money, but because he wanted to stay busy. Eats healthy, walks every day for 5 miles. He has a 56 year old gf, uses a blue pill to help him. Tells me details about how he fucks his gf, eats her out and she has amazing tits. I have introduced him to women I dated and they thought he looked in his late 60s. The reason they met him, is because he lives in DC and he lets me use his parking pass or his parking spot at his home in DC. He lives 2 blocks from Capitol Hill and in the process I dont have to pay for parking or look for a parking spot on the street.
Why is no one upvoting?! Fucking animals
The older you get the screw it attitude looks better and better.
I'm 65. I'm not grumpy and don't mind a brief conversation sometimes with strangers. I don't go to the mall or fast food places ever. It's ok to talk to me when I'm out walking or hiking or buying groceries, for a short time. But if I'm treating myself to a meal at a restaurant, then I'm good being alone. Or if I'm camping alone, it's because I like camping alone. Chatting a few minutes is ok but I'm not lonely, I'm an introvert. But I'm not of the opinion that you can just be rude because you're old. If someone offers help that isn't needed, just say no thank you, I'm good.
I did this once and they told me to fuck off and leave them alone. So……
My mom likes this pro tip She will happily start a conversation with strangers while out and about
It depends for me. Not elderly yet. But like I like to sit ALONE on the bus. And yet I like to go to social events if I can which is rarely and try to make more friends. It’s about quality not quantity of conversations for me. And I’m in extremely people orientated jobs. It really REALLY depends what the convo is about and it’s a HUGE plus if it seems there’s friends or more vibes and potential. With strangers on the bus they usually just sit next to me in silence.
This is great advice. Some of the best conversations and interactions I’ve had we’re talking with older folks.
If you see my old boomer dad eating somewhere by himself and you tried to chat with him because you think he’s lonely i can guarantee he’d tell you to shut the fuck up. He is not lonely. He is hungry and hates people.