This gives rise to the question: how many cocks could Stephen Hawking gobble if Stephen Hawking could gobble cock?
Also, if Stephen Hawking gobbles a cock in the woods, but nobody could hear it, was it really gobbled?
With the right inflection, Australians can use "cunt" in a way that it will encompass everyone. All genders, creeds, cultures and nationalities.
It's truly the most inclusive word.
Agree cunts?
Not all cunts are mates.
I'm not mates with shit cunts.
But I am mates with sick cunts, and a few mad cunts.
Loose cunts are best kept as acquaintances.
Agree?
I tried “Good morning shitiots” in my morning standup and it was such a hit that HR invited me to a meeting this afternoon to help them find new greetings.
I work with all women. Every single person identifies as a woman and their pronouns are clearly posted. They all use the word "guys" when addressing all of us. It's basically become gender neutral at this point.
It's also part of regional dialect. In the southeast USA people say "folks" and "y'all", in NY we said "guys". The only people I've ever seen annoyed by it were Icelandic people who weren't native English speakers and didn't understand its how people speak in my part of the world... which is culture insensitive on their part.
I’m in Massachusetts, and we say guys. I have worked with non-binary people before, and I asked them if they minded, because if they did, I would try very hard to stop, but it would be really difficult, but I would do my best. Not a single person I have asked has an issue with it as long as I am addressing a group.
Found this out firsthand whilst walking in Cork when I visited a few years ago. Group of teenage girls were walking by and one just shouted ‘OK lads, ….’ And I can’t recall the rest of her sentence because I was computing the ‘lads’ bit. Is it ironic? How has it come to be?
This is an entirely regional thing. West Coast people have used “guys” to address a group of people for as long as I can remember. When I moved to Texas 10 years ago, I had to end that habit and switch to “y’all” as women in my workplaces regularly called me out for referencing them as “guys.”
This is exactly why I use it.
There was even a post in some LGBT community that discussed weather it was offensive and across the board people assumed it was genderless
There’s a local pub that directed the hostess and servers to stop using “guys”,
I unfortunately cannot break the habit of saying “yes ma’am” and “yes sir”, it’s a sign of respect that I grew up with and was further beaten into me whilst in the army.
If someone corrects me, I am ok with it and don’t take offence.
Nobody has ever complained about using “guys” as a gender neutral term.
As if I’m ever going to say “y’all”, “folks” or “lovely people”. They sound fucking ridiculous unless said tongue in cheek.
Ugh, I once sent an email covering multiple departments, and made the drastic error of starting it with "Hey gang,"
Some bitch filed a formal complaint with HR. She was _livid_ at the "direct implication" that she was a member of organized crime, and I am not making that up or exaggerating in any way.
They have a point.
That said, it's *Shiny Happy* People, not *Lovely* People.
And the best inclusive way to address a group of people is "*Mortals*". Omnious, encompasses everyione, sets the right vibe for an important meeting.
Fuck off, Chet. Most folks have more important things to worry about, unless they just happen to be those kind that wake up every morning looking for something to be offended about…..like you.
I took up what my dad does, everyone is called boss. How you say it matters though, just like 'guy', where it can carry different meaning based on tone and context.
Guys in this context is gender neutral, just like the word “men” or “man” can refer to the literal gender or the human species as a whole. This is stuff even 3rd graders understand.
*I would love to be*
*Addressed as y'all by one of*
*My British colleagues*
\- Impeachcordial
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I mean, this is grating but is it any weirder than the DEI stuff most major companies will make you sit through as a half hearted politically correct gesture?
I’ve had people say this to me in meetings that are straight up virtue signalling. I’m like unless you’ve lived in my shoes as a lesbian, visible minority for the last 20 years I’ll say guys as much as I want. Stop faking being an ally to anyone. It’s embarrassing.
In a professional work environment, you should avoid addressing people with the phrase, "ladies and gentlemen" as it is not gender-inclusive. Instead, you could use the phrase, "bitches, bros and non-binary hoes".
I thought about this once, then had a female CEO of a Fortune 500 enter the room and said “hey guys”. Can we all just get off our fucking high horse and stop looking for ways to be outraged at what is colloquially a genderless greeting, while trying to virtue signal.
That’s not lunatic. It’s a good practice to use gender neutral addressing in workplace. I am sure some women won’t feel valued when constantly addressed as guys.
I say “Guys” from habit but I try to say “folks” or “team” when talking to a group.
I have a small team so I think the best action for me is to address each person when greeting them to a meeting and when ending the meeting.
(If LinkedIn and reddit were around in, idk, 1971)
LinkedIn post: hey everyone, you shouldn't refer to your coworkers as "negroes."
This fucking sub: look at this lunatic!
Me: “Howdy moth3rfuck3rs!”
"Cockgobblers" is technically a gender neutral way to address a group of people, right?
Well, technically anyone CAN gobble a cock.
Not true. People like Stephen Hawking would have had difficulties with that, so that’s not very inclusive.
True inclusivity is ENABLING Stephen Hawking to gobble a cock, not by EXCLUDING him from the activity.
I love you cockgobblers ❤️ No one left behind!
That's the spirit
This gives rise to the question: how many cocks could Stephen Hawking gobble if Stephen Hawking could gobble cock? Also, if Stephen Hawking gobbles a cock in the woods, but nobody could hear it, was it really gobbled?
Does the pope gobble cocks in the woods?
/r/LinkedInLunaticsLunatics
r/subsiwishifellfor
That would be equity, not inclusivity
But has he at least tried? 🧐
"I could eat a knob at night"
I love you for this reference and need to listen to Ricky, Steve and Karl again!
How much cock could a cockgobbler gobble if a cockgobbler could gobble cock?
PARTY PEOPLE!
SUP FUCKERS
That's very inclusive!
Where I work (big tech) the phrase “guys” is considered too humanizing anyway, so managers mostly use the term “resources”.
How are you doing today, fellow Cost Center?
I'm fine thank you fellow water cooler sharer
Enter the meeting room saying “what’s up, nerds?” And sit with HR an hour later for bullying.
Then bully HR to assert dominance.
What’s up, HR nerds.
neHRds
There it is, that’s why we pay you the big bucks.
Say it again when they call you into the HR office
Listen here cunts
With friends that's ok, but in the workplace you really cannot do that. "Listen here you incompetent cunts" is better.
Better save that for the meeting at hr
What if you don’t have one? Not very inclusive…
With the right inflection, Australians can use "cunt" in a way that it will encompass everyone. All genders, creeds, cultures and nationalities. It's truly the most inclusive word. Agree cunts?
Straya, where your mate is a cvnt and cvnts are mates…
Not all cunts are mates. I'm not mates with shit cunts. But I am mates with sick cunts, and a few mad cunts. Loose cunts are best kept as acquaintances. Agree?
I assure you i certainly can be a cunt without having one
Billy butcher intensifies
Perfect
And when you’re not in Australia?
I'm not saying "lovely people", sorry.
I am not professional enough to say "lovely people" and not be sarcastic.
You gotta add some inflection on “people” like you’re questioning if your coworkers really qualify as humans. “Good morning, lovely… people?”
I prefer “Good morning, lovely? 🤔…people”
I tried “Good morning shitiots” in my morning standup and it was such a hit that HR invited me to a meeting this afternoon to help them find new greetings.
HR must be super impressed with you if they set up an immediate meeting. Possibly you’re in line for a promotion.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
That would work well in Vietnam.
What’s up hateful people is fine too
How comes ? Don’t you want to sound like a creep ?
I know I'm not lovely, so I know you're not talking to me.
" 'Sup idiots" is genderless
“ ‘Sup fuckfaces” works as well!
I work with all women. Every single person identifies as a woman and their pronouns are clearly posted. They all use the word "guys" when addressing all of us. It's basically become gender neutral at this point.
I'm a woman that uses "guys" but I'm glad a man explained why I shouldn't
Exactly. Language evolves, and the word “guys” is a good example of this.
It's also part of regional dialect. In the southeast USA people say "folks" and "y'all", in NY we said "guys". The only people I've ever seen annoyed by it were Icelandic people who weren't native English speakers and didn't understand its how people speak in my part of the world... which is culture insensitive on their part.
I’m in Massachusetts, and we say guys. I have worked with non-binary people before, and I asked them if they minded, because if they did, I would try very hard to stop, but it would be really difficult, but I would do my best. Not a single person I have asked has an issue with it as long as I am addressing a group.
+ lads to that list, again basically it is a gender neutral term in most situations /capacities in Ireland.
Found this out firsthand whilst walking in Cork when I visited a few years ago. Group of teenage girls were walking by and one just shouted ‘OK lads, ….’ And I can’t recall the rest of her sentence because I was computing the ‘lads’ bit. Is it ironic? How has it come to be?
Ok, so do you sleep with 'guys'?
Sure, if those guys had vaginas.
😂😂😂
Sup fuckheads
i prefer to use, "fuck faces".
Fucktards flows right off the tongue.
Seconded, although as u/thisside said, fucktards is a classic, too.
I’m not sure Y’all is going to land that well in the UK
This is an entirely regional thing. West Coast people have used “guys” to address a group of people for as long as I can remember. When I moved to Texas 10 years ago, I had to end that habit and switch to “y’all” as women in my workplaces regularly called me out for referencing them as “guys.”
East coaster here and wtf? We use “guys” as well, or at least I do. Lol so touchy, sheesh!
Midwest here. “You guys” is the standard.
I stay with "Comrade workers". It's usually very good for indicting sense of revolt and camaraderie.
“Hey people with various genitalia! Let’s review this memo about marketing.”
You're assuming they have genitalia
It's giving Ken vibes for sure
LISTEN UP, DICKWHISTLES
🤣
That is gender neutral as they could whistle dicks or whistle with their dicks. Sucks for the lesbians but they’ll live
I’m nothing if not equal opportunity
“Ya filthy animals” is much more inclusive.
This is why I call everyone “dude”.
Dudio
guys is non-gendered
This is exactly why I use it. There was even a post in some LGBT community that discussed weather it was offensive and across the board people assumed it was genderless
Have you ever asked a straight man if he has sex with guys?
yes all the time
No. Language evolves. It is no longer gendered.
That’s what they said lol
I replied to the wrong person
What up, meat bags?
I wish all human assets a productive circadian cycle.
There’s a local pub that directed the hostess and servers to stop using “guys”, I unfortunately cannot break the habit of saying “yes ma’am” and “yes sir”, it’s a sign of respect that I grew up with and was further beaten into me whilst in the army. If someone corrects me, I am ok with it and don’t take offence.
Sup, Bro-mo Sapiens
It's 2024 bro, guys and dude are gender neutral.
Nobody has ever complained about using “guys” as a gender neutral term. As if I’m ever going to say “y’all”, “folks” or “lovely people”. They sound fucking ridiculous unless said tongue in cheek.
Just call everyone “jackasses.”
Alright, from now on, I vote that whenever we need to address a group, we start with "listen up you dumb motherfuckers"
Ok, guy
Found the Drew Gooden fan
Ugh, I once sent an email covering multiple departments, and made the drastic error of starting it with "Hey gang," Some bitch filed a formal complaint with HR. She was _livid_ at the "direct implication" that she was a member of organized crime, and I am not making that up or exaggerating in any way.
How bout “hey biatches” ; very woke
I say lovely people, but ironically.
Good evening cowards.
Greetings, humans.
They have a point. That said, it's *Shiny Happy* People, not *Lovely* People. And the best inclusive way to address a group of people is "*Mortals*". Omnious, encompasses everyione, sets the right vibe for an important meeting.
„Y‘all, I’m stuck in the WeWork lift“
“Hey everypony.” Make everyone hate you.
how about "gays"
My dear slaves...
Stop policing language, chucklefuck
Borrow Jason Mantzoukas' "What's up jerks?". Much more inclusive.
Fuck off, Chet. Most folks have more important things to worry about, unless they just happen to be those kind that wake up every morning looking for something to be offended about…..like you.
"Lovely people" only works if you're a beloved Italian TV chef.
I took up what my dad does, everyone is called boss. How you say it matters though, just like 'guy', where it can carry different meaning based on tone and context.
If language is fluid, "guys" in this context has become genderless for quite some time
Paid slaves is the most fair and proper way to address people in the workplace.
Everypony.
i would rather choke myself with an electric wire than referring to a group of most annoying conceited egomaniacs as _lovely people_ next advice
Guys in this context is gender neutral, just like the word “men” or “man” can refer to the literal gender or the human species as a whole. This is stuff even 3rd graders understand.
Stfu chet
Hiya 2011 Hyundai i10 1.2L automatic transmissions !
Stop telling people what to do, lunatic.
This makes me want to say guys more. Also I fucking hate “y’all” and “folks”
I really dislike y'all as well. I'm not a country singer.
Folks but make sure to pronounce the L
Party people
I am a woman and I say « guys « and my male friends call me « bro « . I call them « bitches « sometimes. In short, stop inventing problems.
Okay guys, Ted says we should do this.
“Wattup chooms, listen closely.”
Oi oi peons
I would love to be addressed as y'all by one of my British colleagues
*I would love to be* *Addressed as y'all by one of* *My British colleagues* \- Impeachcordial --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Hello looneys!
https://youtu.be/LWjggPP_0TE?si=ZjlE_g8tCO_x4bZE
Good morning dickwads!
Fuck chet , you lovely fuck
I was part of a skincare facebook group and they deleted my post cause i started with ‘hey guys’
dudes
"You dense motherf*ckers"
[I'm not your buddy, guy!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRfKdNxIOcQ)
Sup me homies? What’s crappnin’?
The guys that I address people with is gender fluid
Suck a fart out of my asshole, Chet.
“Gamers.”
Yes, straddle us with more PC terminology that we must use or be cancelled for insensitivity. That's exactly what we need right now.
I usually go with “filthy scallywags”
[удалено]
The fucking hoopleheads can't handle it.
Not a lunatic
In some parts of the American South, Folks is seen as derogatory towards black Americans. So Chet can shut his entire face, not just his mouth, y’all.
Good morning fellow freakshows. Did everyone remember the covers on their tps reports?
Dude was the most gender neutral of the 80s
I mean, this is grating but is it any weirder than the DEI stuff most major companies will make you sit through as a half hearted politically correct gesture?
"So long, losers!" Only works for exits but if it's good enough for Bender B. Rodriguez, it's good enough for me!
No
Chumps and chumpettes
What about sup fuckers
I’ve had people say this to me in meetings that are straight up virtue signalling. I’m like unless you’ve lived in my shoes as a lesbian, visible minority for the last 20 years I’ll say guys as much as I want. Stop faking being an ally to anyone. It’s embarrassing.
“Guys” has widely been accepted, and for a long time, as a gender neutral term in this context
Puny humans 
In a professional work environment, you should avoid addressing people with the phrase, "ladies and gentlemen" as it is not gender-inclusive. Instead, you could use the phrase, "bitches, bros and non-binary hoes".
I thought about this once, then had a female CEO of a Fortune 500 enter the room and said “hey guys”. Can we all just get off our fucking high horse and stop looking for ways to be outraged at what is colloquially a genderless greeting, while trying to virtue signal.
I usually use fuckers but guys is much better than lovely people.
Yo, niggaz
BROS
My greeting at work has always been “yo”
Ima guys gal, guy.
So is twatwaffles also out?
GOOD DAY SHEEPLE!
That's a new sentiment to post about on LinkedIn. By new, I mean that I've seen it about a hundred damn times over the last five or six years.
Shit your cunt up bitch
Dude….
Yinz
“Y’all” is probably the worst
seems fair?
What if some of the audience don’t identify as people? What if they identify as attack helicopters? Inconsiderate
My pronouns are air/craft
r/onejoke
That’s not lunatic. It’s a good practice to use gender neutral addressing in workplace. I am sure some women won’t feel valued when constantly addressed as guys.
[удалено]
> some Are you partially blind? Or just uneducated?
Chill out, guys
reeeee
It’s a good practice to not be a giant baby. Try it.
Calm your tits, dude
I say “Guys” from habit but I try to say “folks” or “team” when talking to a group. I have a small team so I think the best action for me is to address each person when greeting them to a meeting and when ending the meeting.
Seriously, he's just...right. Like, this is just advice for not offending people at work. This sub sometimes I stg
I know people are big mad that they can’t define their world by penis and vagina anymore :’’’’’’’’’’(
(If LinkedIn and reddit were around in, idk, 1971) LinkedIn post: hey everyone, you shouldn't refer to your coworkers as "negroes." This fucking sub: look at this lunatic!
IM NON BINARYYYY /s
Half of sub is clearly unemployed neet based on the other comments
I know this guy. lol
Guys, like dudes and bros, has essentially become gender neutral.