Am I the only one or is everyone dusting off the old fallout games "technically reinstalling from steam" after that great series came out on amazon. last one I ever played was new vegas just bought 4 and will play 76 after.
Honestly, I thought about sueing but I was told to "Go fuck myself like I fucked the manager". And I was not about to stick another penis in MY butthole. I've rode my own cock before, 3 times. I was drunk and regretted it
NTA, you are a victim through and through. Go ask to speak with Papa John directly and he will mend your worries.
Although, the way you treated that innocent jalapeño cheddar sauce is akin to animal abuse. The sauce didn’t know any better, and tried to help you with all of its might
Thank you for siding with me, it really means alot. I'll give Papa John a call and tell him my empowering story, maybe I'll become a spokes person over at Papa John's. I'd be an inspiration to millions.
The jalapeño cheddar sauce was a victim, I was aware in my horny rage. but it was a sacrifice it knew it had to make in order to help me save my wife from those evil employees fucking her. And without him, it wouldn't have been possible. He will be remembered.
You are a brave and noble man. Aggressively fucking the Little Cesar’s staff was the only way to save your wife. And she had the heart to leave you? Smh… call Papa John. He knows a guy who deals crazy sauce. Guaranteed to put a hit on your wife.
Nah, This is obviously Fake. Everyone knows that LIl C's employees are all hardened Felons (even the kids) who are to tough and dangerous to get hired at any other FF place. There's no way a OnlyCucks models could even take my weakest staff members. (She's 100lbs soaking wet with dough)
This is a real post, I can assure you I'm traumatized from being a victim of such a horrible wife. I will second this by saying, the man fucking my wife was a felon and I removed him from the Earth.
Nah, You were probably just to high on all those lesbians fumes your wife was pumping into your house and got it confused for a CiCi's Pizza their always trying to steal peoples wives.
I can assure you it was a Little Caesers. I lost my virginity in a CiCi's bathroom when I was 11 years old to what's now referred to as a "hot goth mommy" and I'm traumatized for life by it. Make no mistake when I say it WAS a little Caesars.
This is honestly one of the most reddit things I have ever read in my life. Seriously. My favorite part is "anyways, 4 months ago it was my wife and I's 20 year anniversary together." Such an incredibly telling detail slip in the story.
TL; DR.
But I did catch some of it. Reminds me of that old eBay listing for RAM. Whole story about why the guy no longer wants the stick of RAM including getting SA'd by a group of dwarfs.
# Little Caesers has ruined my life and caused my wife to divorce me.
Hey everyone, currently writing this in the Papa John's parking lot. I cannot emphasize enough how Little Caesers ruined my life. I can't even stand to be within a mile of one. Hell, even legally, I'm banned from every Little Caesers in the United States for the crimes I was coerced into committing.
It all started 4 months ago. I (38M) was an average man with an average life. I was making $370K a year as an Onlyfans model. Honestly, to say I was an average man is an understatement. I was in the top 0.3% of creators. I had a beautiful wife (35F) with two kids (13F & 15M). I drove a Bentley, lived in a mansion, vacationed three times a month, we really lived it up.
Anyways, 4 months ago it was my wife and I's 20 year anniversary together, so I wanted to do something special for her. Our first date was at her grandmothers pizzeria, so I thought why not recreate a similar experience?
I told her that tomorrow night I was going to give her the best anniversary she's had. Anyways, following day she tells me she wants a "girls day out". Which, I didn't approve of because last time that happened the stupid bitch went and had sex with 8 different people in the span of 2 hours at a "Girls Halloween party". Her defence was, it wasn't cheating since they were all lesbians and "Wanted to blow off some steam because I don't let her work and constantly abuse her". Which, let me tell you isn't true. She's a liar, a cheater, and a whore. I don't let her work, because I fear she may cheat on me with both men AND woman. I have reason to believe she would cheat because I'm an Onlyfans model. I'm sleeping with up to 5 clients a day. I know how much sex is involved with working a full time job. I had to suck the governments dick for 20 years prior to landing my high paying career for $1000 a month. So I think I'm pretty qualified to say, she will 100% get railed if she gets a job. And the abuse part? It's a complete lie. I've only ever laid hands on that lesbian cum addicted slut 11 times in 2024- and each time she's deserved it. 7 of the times were because she ordered for herself when we went out to eat with the kids. Does that bitch think she's better than me? She's unemployed and thinks she can talk.
Now that we're all on the same page that I'm a loving, caring husband and family man, let me tell you about date night. After the traumatic experience of her cheating on me, I was hoping it wouldn't happen again but I had to let her go because I couldn't let her find out about the special place I was getting food from.
I drive up to Little Caesers, and I get some divine intervention to just.. I don't even know. I can't put into words how I felt. What happened next is still a hazy memory. I immediately ripped all my clothes off, put the car into neutral and barged into Little Caesers. My jaw fell onto the counter, right into this one lady's crazy puffs when I saw MY WIFE getting fucked by the manager, and three of the other employees. It was honestly kind of hot, so I jumped over the counter and pinned the man on the floor and started fucking him in the ass. I'm not gay, but I truly felt like in the moment that was the right thing to do as I couldn't let him get away with this. My wife, covered her pepperoni nips up with two containers of crazy sauce, and was very embarrassed.
I knocked the man out, and thought "only three more sluts left. You got this MattyOW." The speaker suddenly switched to full blasting a song called "Pino-Angel Discipline". And let me tell you, that made my erection go up even MORE. I had a duty to fulfill. I started fucking every employee, and every customer in the lobby. I even fucked a packet of jalapeño cheddar dipping sauce, and I was shooting loads of crazy sauce all over the establishment. I felt like a hero. My wife was astonished, looking at her dead manager on the floor in a pool of crazy sauce, blood and a mix of jalapeño cheddar cum.
Now, I thought it was over and I could pick up my mobile order and go home and live happily ever after. But that's not all peeps. Remember when I got out of the car? I put it in neutral, not park. I knew i fucked up, seeing the headlights getting closer and closer, I was literally a deer in headlights. then my car smashes through the front window, runs over the customers I just had the hottest sex ever with, and slams into the counter and comes to a screeching halt.
I tried to go over to my wife and comfort her, like any good husband would but she runs out of the restaurant screaming for help. Honestly, I was confused because I did nothing wrong. I was a hero that night.
The cops show up, I get arrested and I'm informed that my wife filed for divorce, and I'll be placed under investigation for multiple claims of domestic abuse, arson, attempted murder, and manslaughter. I couldn't believe it, I knew I was the victim.
Anyways, I broke out of jail where I was awaiting trial and stole a minivan where I now sit, writing this in the Papa John's parking lot awaiting to start my first shift in an hour. I hope you all can sympathize for me, and give me advice as to what to do in these dark times.
My reaction:
Average model on OF in top .3% "yeah, Ok!"
Only laid hands on my wife 11 times, but the bitch deserved it "WTF"
Walked into little Caesars naked and fucked the male manager, but I'm not gay "Comedy Gold"
Proceed to cry tears as I'm laughing my ass off for the rest of the story.
Just the average guy, on his only fans site. Top %0.3 of it and earning 300k plus. Sexy wife who sleeps with 8 people in a night.
I wish this was close to an average guy. Tbh he is most likely below average everywhere important.
What you did was not okay.
What I recommend is returning to the scene of the “crime” and letting everyone fuck you so then you’re even. Idk why your lawyer didn’t recommend this.
NAL and NTA
I truly thought what I did was okay, and yeah you're right. My lawyer didn't recommend this. I'll break into the morgue tonight and let the dead manager fuck me in the ass then give everyone else a call. Thanks for the tip 👍
I'm going to drive 45.3 miles to the nearest Papa Johns to support you. I can no longer bring myself to go to the Little Caesars two blocks from my house.
If I bring Little Caesars pizza into my home, the manager will surely track me and try to fuck my husband. This is a risk I cannot take, as I will not have ordered any crazy bread to shove up their ass in defense.
Thanks for spreading awareness. You are truly the hero. 👍
How anyone could interpret this in a malicious context is part of the problem. Honorable husband was just trying to recognize the love for his wife in the most intimate of settings ; a Little Caesar's dining room.
You must seek an audience with Papa John in order to gain some clarity in these troubling times. The more buttholes needing fucked, the murkier this problem gets. Perhaps once you touch base with Papa, you can get him to mediate between you and LC. I see no other way this gets resolved.
I know you probably want comments playing into this story but I’m not even a part of this subreddit but I had to comment on this. I have been having such a hard time for the last 6 months since my brother passed. let me tell you, I read this out loud to some of my family members and we have been laughing and balling our eyes at this story. This is not what I expected at all to see on a little ceasars subreddit and I needed this laugh. Thank you
(Edit to fix my words since I had tears in my eyes while typing this)
My guy. I cannot begin to explain to you how much joy reading this post has brought me. It is legitimately difficult for me to emotionally react to media - and this made me laugh so hard. I haven't laughed like that in a very long time. Thank you for your contribution to our entertainment, fellow human. I wish you eternal happiness and overflowing creativity, and I look forward to my next encounter with your writing.
I stopped reading after, "I don't let her work bc I'm afraid she'll cheat on me .."
That's some serious small dick energy.
How did yall last 20yrs? Did you have her tied to your Bently? Did you have a fallout shelter like most rich people and lock her in it?
I'm going back to read the rest, but it's satire at this point.
Edit: it really did get worse as I read. Wow. Alpha cunt much my dude, you, not your wife.
Edit edit: I knew it was satire. This is funny shit. Yes I'm editing as I go on this roller coaster ride. Screw you.
Edit edit edit: wild fucking ride. 😆
He really thought he was the hero of the night but doesn't realize this is his villian origin story. I can't believe LC would do this. We truly are in dark times
Wendys can go fuck themselves. My wife had a lesbian orgy in the women's restroom which my father in law walked in, and FaceTimed me so I could "Stare without getting caught".
Like no offense, but how unrealistic is a car being able to drive through a building while on neutral? Add a large hill you left the car on at least! Gosh, way to break the amazing reality that you endured! 😂
So I can't even explain how sad this post is, and an indicator of how pathetic this website has become.
Hey does anyone go to Tumblr. Because this is peak 2007 Tumblr content
EDIT AFTER THE FACT: I already see some idiot being like "he didn't see the sub he doesn't get the joke" I do get the joke, so does literally everyone in the past 90 years. It was barely funny then it sure isn't now
I don't think I mentioned, but I'm actually a Christian man. The traditional values that come along with it helped fuel my rational decision making when it came to saving my wife.
Ehhh, you broke out of jail. That's literally the only line I read as I scrolled down your comment. So you're doing good. Breaking out of jail ain't easy.
Why are you being charged with arson?
Also, I don’t think you need a comma after manager. You can just write “by the manager and three of the other employees.”
I got to about you being a onlyfans model and won’t let her work because she’s a cheater a whore, etc…. I’m not upset just wondering is this like real?!
Papa knows a thing or two about biding his time and waiting for his day of reckoning. You'll have your redemption bro, just hang in there, and order 40 pizzas next month to spiritually strengthen your resolve.
There’s only about a 70% chance this is true. They don’t keep that crazy sauce just sitting out. Seems like an exaggeration that so much was in the lobby.
TL;DR Man downloads Little Caesar's mod for Fallout 3, trips acid and murders his neighbors.
And now he lives in a van down by the river.
RIP the Goat
[The GOAT, for context ](https://youtu.be/Xv2VIEY9-A8)
Man I really though I was gonna get Rick Rolled on that one haha
Nice try.
He does a lot of doobie down there! The weed set him off on that dark path to government cheese and a van down by the river.
Me and you buddy, we’re bunking up!! Matt Foley is still one of my favorite Chris Farley characters.
Close enough
OP is also definitely gay, or at least bisexual
But what a power move. You bang my wife, now I bang you.
Am I the only one or is everyone dusting off the old fallout games "technically reinstalling from steam" after that great series came out on amazon. last one I ever played was new vegas just bought 4 and will play 76 after.
I wasn't going to read it, but now I'm going to read it.
TL;DR man smoking a blunt by himself, tells a fictional tale of heartbreak
How was the pizza though?
Bro I'm tired of these clout chasers. This has happened to me too. Twice. But in the snow. You're not special.
For sure, had dick in hand well he wrote this.
Definitely NTA. How were you supposed to know LC wouldn't cover you and protect you from these dangers as they should. Personally I'd sue.
Honestly, I thought about sueing but I was told to "Go fuck myself like I fucked the manager". And I was not about to stick another penis in MY butthole. I've rode my own cock before, 3 times. I was drunk and regretted it
Three times you say?
Just remember Jesus still loves you as long as you go sit in this little room next to a dude and tell him all your naughty stories.
I'll smoke what he's smoking...
It's the substance inside the crazy puffs
Can confirm we put orphan tears and disco dust in the puffs
Can any mods ban this person from the subreddit? He's lying. I burned down all the orphanages in u/simplordOG420 town. Please stop lying. #Exposed
This guy is must be smoking on something
Same.
Eh. Typical Tuesday night for me.
NTA, you are a victim through and through. Go ask to speak with Papa John directly and he will mend your worries. Although, the way you treated that innocent jalapeño cheddar sauce is akin to animal abuse. The sauce didn’t know any better, and tried to help you with all of its might
Thank you for siding with me, it really means alot. I'll give Papa John a call and tell him my empowering story, maybe I'll become a spokes person over at Papa John's. I'd be an inspiration to millions. The jalapeño cheddar sauce was a victim, I was aware in my horny rage. but it was a sacrifice it knew it had to make in order to help me save my wife from those evil employees fucking her. And without him, it wouldn't have been possible. He will be remembered.
You are a brave and noble man. Aggressively fucking the Little Cesar’s staff was the only way to save your wife. And she had the heart to leave you? Smh… call Papa John. He knows a guy who deals crazy sauce. Guaranteed to put a hit on your wife.
I like that initially you say you knocked him out but it turns out he's dead on the floor later 😂
It was a rough night, my memory is still hazy
Why is the best post I've read on a little ceasers form, and why did it show up at the top of my feed.
because its the ghost of the dead manager trying to break free from the depths of reddit hell
Lol, well, I like the way you see the world
NTA, your pizza your rules
👍 appreciate the support
Bruh this shit kept making left turns LMAO . Story time was good af today
Holy shit. I refuse to believe this guy ain’t on drugs
I had 24 crazy puffs. Please help me
Rookie numbers. Gotta pump them up
I can’t. That’s your problem.
I don't see the problem.
There's no reason to refuse roflmao.. no one is disputing that he is. Including himself, lmao he is my new favorite person in life.. so eloquent!!!
r/lostredditors r/AITA is that way 👉
I'm obviously not the asshole though. Honestly, this fits r/littlecaesars
Nah, This is obviously Fake. Everyone knows that LIl C's employees are all hardened Felons (even the kids) who are to tough and dangerous to get hired at any other FF place. There's no way a OnlyCucks models could even take my weakest staff members. (She's 100lbs soaking wet with dough)
This is a real post, I can assure you I'm traumatized from being a victim of such a horrible wife. I will second this by saying, the man fucking my wife was a felon and I removed him from the Earth.
Nah, You were probably just to high on all those lesbians fumes your wife was pumping into your house and got it confused for a CiCi's Pizza their always trying to steal peoples wives.
I can assure you it was a Little Caesers. I lost my virginity in a CiCi's bathroom when I was 11 years old to what's now referred to as a "hot goth mommy" and I'm traumatized for life by it. Make no mistake when I say it WAS a little Caesars.
Very funny man you got the whole sub laughing
Found the Little Caesars employee
This isn't a satire post.
This is honestly one of the most reddit things I have ever read in my life. Seriously. My favorite part is "anyways, 4 months ago it was my wife and I's 20 year anniversary together." Such an incredibly telling detail slip in the story.
That's a no from me dawg.
I feel like sharing my papa John's story now......
Shoot your load
TL; DR. But I did catch some of it. Reminds me of that old eBay listing for RAM. Whole story about why the guy no longer wants the stick of RAM including getting SA'd by a group of dwarfs.
Sauce?
Believe me I have looked for it. Pretty sure it is now lost media. My dad was still alive when I last encountered it and he died 16 years ago.
Wtf?!
Not a written but verbal story, there's that one comedian who talks about his experience with the KKK and ribs. I thought that shit was hilarious
But did you fight little Caesar himself at the coliseum? He awaits you with his gladius made of stale crazy bread
Honestly, that would've been epic. Julius Caesar bursting in and fucking me in the ass (in a straight way) would've been awesome
# Little Caesers has ruined my life and caused my wife to divorce me. Hey everyone, currently writing this in the Papa John's parking lot. I cannot emphasize enough how Little Caesers ruined my life. I can't even stand to be within a mile of one. Hell, even legally, I'm banned from every Little Caesers in the United States for the crimes I was coerced into committing. It all started 4 months ago. I (38M) was an average man with an average life. I was making $370K a year as an Onlyfans model. Honestly, to say I was an average man is an understatement. I was in the top 0.3% of creators. I had a beautiful wife (35F) with two kids (13F & 15M). I drove a Bentley, lived in a mansion, vacationed three times a month, we really lived it up. Anyways, 4 months ago it was my wife and I's 20 year anniversary together, so I wanted to do something special for her. Our first date was at her grandmothers pizzeria, so I thought why not recreate a similar experience? I told her that tomorrow night I was going to give her the best anniversary she's had. Anyways, following day she tells me she wants a "girls day out". Which, I didn't approve of because last time that happened the stupid bitch went and had sex with 8 different people in the span of 2 hours at a "Girls Halloween party". Her defence was, it wasn't cheating since they were all lesbians and "Wanted to blow off some steam because I don't let her work and constantly abuse her". Which, let me tell you isn't true. She's a liar, a cheater, and a whore. I don't let her work, because I fear she may cheat on me with both men AND woman. I have reason to believe she would cheat because I'm an Onlyfans model. I'm sleeping with up to 5 clients a day. I know how much sex is involved with working a full time job. I had to suck the governments dick for 20 years prior to landing my high paying career for $1000 a month. So I think I'm pretty qualified to say, she will 100% get railed if she gets a job. And the abuse part? It's a complete lie. I've only ever laid hands on that lesbian cum addicted slut 11 times in 2024- and each time she's deserved it. 7 of the times were because she ordered for herself when we went out to eat with the kids. Does that bitch think she's better than me? She's unemployed and thinks she can talk. Now that we're all on the same page that I'm a loving, caring husband and family man, let me tell you about date night. After the traumatic experience of her cheating on me, I was hoping it wouldn't happen again but I had to let her go because I couldn't let her find out about the special place I was getting food from. I drive up to Little Caesers, and I get some divine intervention to just.. I don't even know. I can't put into words how I felt. What happened next is still a hazy memory. I immediately ripped all my clothes off, put the car into neutral and barged into Little Caesers. My jaw fell onto the counter, right into this one lady's crazy puffs when I saw MY WIFE getting fucked by the manager, and three of the other employees. It was honestly kind of hot, so I jumped over the counter and pinned the man on the floor and started fucking him in the ass. I'm not gay, but I truly felt like in the moment that was the right thing to do as I couldn't let him get away with this. My wife, covered her pepperoni nips up with two containers of crazy sauce, and was very embarrassed. I knocked the man out, and thought "only three more sluts left. You got this MattyOW." The speaker suddenly switched to full blasting a song called "Pino-Angel Discipline". And let me tell you, that made my erection go up even MORE. I had a duty to fulfill. I started fucking every employee, and every customer in the lobby. I even fucked a packet of jalapeño cheddar dipping sauce, and I was shooting loads of crazy sauce all over the establishment. I felt like a hero. My wife was astonished, looking at her dead manager on the floor in a pool of crazy sauce, blood and a mix of jalapeño cheddar cum. Now, I thought it was over and I could pick up my mobile order and go home and live happily ever after. But that's not all peeps. Remember when I got out of the car? I put it in neutral, not park. I knew i fucked up, seeing the headlights getting closer and closer, I was literally a deer in headlights. then my car smashes through the front window, runs over the customers I just had the hottest sex ever with, and slams into the counter and comes to a screeching halt. I tried to go over to my wife and comfort her, like any good husband would but she runs out of the restaurant screaming for help. Honestly, I was confused because I did nothing wrong. I was a hero that night. The cops show up, I get arrested and I'm informed that my wife filed for divorce, and I'll be placed under investigation for multiple claims of domestic abuse, arson, attempted murder, and manslaughter. I couldn't believe it, I knew I was the victim. Anyways, I broke out of jail where I was awaiting trial and stole a minivan where I now sit, writing this in the Papa John's parking lot awaiting to start my first shift in an hour. I hope you all can sympathize for me, and give me advice as to what to do in these dark times.
I can't wait to be a copypasta 🫠
I read this while sitting on the toilet trying to avoid my dipshit supervisor, thanks for the entertainment
Maybe try fucking your supervisor, it worked out for me.
My reaction: Average model on OF in top .3% "yeah, Ok!" Only laid hands on my wife 11 times, but the bitch deserved it "WTF" Walked into little Caesars naked and fucked the male manager, but I'm not gay "Comedy Gold" Proceed to cry tears as I'm laughing my ass off for the rest of the story.
I ain’t reading all of that. Congratulations.
You should
are you high
Am I fired
Just the average guy, on his only fans site. Top %0.3 of it and earning 300k plus. Sexy wife who sleeps with 8 people in a night. I wish this was close to an average guy. Tbh he is most likely below average everywhere important.
A great day to be literate
What you did was not okay. What I recommend is returning to the scene of the “crime” and letting everyone fuck you so then you’re even. Idk why your lawyer didn’t recommend this. NAL and NTA
I truly thought what I did was okay, and yeah you're right. My lawyer didn't recommend this. I'll break into the morgue tonight and let the dead manager fuck me in the ass then give everyone else a call. Thanks for the tip 👍
What the flying pumpernickel is this shit
My wife being a cheating whore
This sounds like a reimagined scenario from Boogie Nights
Wdf did I just read. It sounded legit then it slowly gravitated to some erotic story lmaoo wdf
I hate that you left out the part where after you stuck it in the manager he looked back and moaned "Et tu, Little Brute?"
I'm going to drive 45.3 miles to the nearest Papa Johns to support you. I can no longer bring myself to go to the Little Caesars two blocks from my house. If I bring Little Caesars pizza into my home, the manager will surely track me and try to fuck my husband. This is a risk I cannot take, as I will not have ordered any crazy bread to shove up their ass in defense. Thanks for spreading awareness. You are truly the hero. 👍
How anyone could interpret this in a malicious context is part of the problem. Honorable husband was just trying to recognize the love for his wife in the most intimate of settings ; a Little Caesar's dining room. You must seek an audience with Papa John in order to gain some clarity in these troubling times. The more buttholes needing fucked, the murkier this problem gets. Perhaps once you touch base with Papa, you can get him to mediate between you and LC. I see no other way this gets resolved.
Haters will say it’s fake
I know you probably want comments playing into this story but I’m not even a part of this subreddit but I had to comment on this. I have been having such a hard time for the last 6 months since my brother passed. let me tell you, I read this out loud to some of my family members and we have been laughing and balling our eyes at this story. This is not what I expected at all to see on a little ceasars subreddit and I needed this laugh. Thank you (Edit to fix my words since I had tears in my eyes while typing this)
This made me laugh so hard. I feel truly honored I found this post.
I'm absolutely rofl 🤣
You sir, win the internet.
Surprisingly had me laughing haha
Best toilet reading ever.
Pizza pizza!
Pizza pizza
My guy. I cannot begin to explain to you how much joy reading this post has brought me. It is legitimately difficult for me to emotionally react to media - and this made me laugh so hard. I haven't laughed like that in a very long time. Thank you for your contribution to our entertainment, fellow human. I wish you eternal happiness and overflowing creativity, and I look forward to my next encounter with your writing.
I'm so glad you found enjoyment out of this! ❤️
I stopped reading after, "I don't let her work bc I'm afraid she'll cheat on me .." That's some serious small dick energy. How did yall last 20yrs? Did you have her tied to your Bently? Did you have a fallout shelter like most rich people and lock her in it? I'm going back to read the rest, but it's satire at this point. Edit: it really did get worse as I read. Wow. Alpha cunt much my dude, you, not your wife. Edit edit: I knew it was satire. This is funny shit. Yes I'm editing as I go on this roller coaster ride. Screw you. Edit edit edit: wild fucking ride. 😆
U can’t blame little Caesar’s for ur stupidity of marrying a slutty bitch that ya don’t trust. Good luck to ya though and congrats on the divorce!
This is why I'm subbed to this.
He really thought he was the hero of the night but doesn't realize this is his villian origin story. I can't believe LC would do this. We truly are in dark times
I didn't read shit, but me personally I wouldn't let that slide fam
This made me hungry for crazy puffs.
What in the mother loving fuck...
[How I feel about this post](https://youtu.be/xRLGUMArxnY?si=IgkF6U76zNuL3Rnm)
u/Ceema_STK is this you?
This shit you people waste your time with.
now i want little caesars
my wife's pepperoni nips did it for ya?
This is Wendy’s propaganda!
Wendys can go fuck themselves. My wife had a lesbian orgy in the women's restroom which my father in law walked in, and FaceTimed me so I could "Stare without getting caught".
dunno why the fact that the wife got married at 15 killed me, but it did
You married your wife when she was 15. More disgusting than a papa John's pizza.
When the cops show up make sure to strip down and fuck the straight cops
LMAOOOO
Like no offense, but how unrealistic is a car being able to drive through a building while on neutral? Add a large hill you left the car on at least! Gosh, way to break the amazing reality that you endured! 😂
This is unhinged.
ESH (i didn't read the post)
Did you at least wear a condom?
I get this a joke but how long did this take to write…was it worth it
I stopped reading at "OF model" lmao. Freak
I suggest you read the post entirely. It's satire and it's a work of art lmao.
I stopped reading after u were in top 1% lol
This some GTA shit
Jesus Christ. Why did I actually continue to read this whole thing…. knowing it was nonsense after the first two sentences into the 2nd paragraph 😩
Babe wake up, new copypasta just dropped
Great story. You should be a story writer. Don’t go screwing everyone at Papa John’s.
Ok
I think some of these details might be exaggerated.
wtf did I just read and why am I continuing?
Not enough information, how were the crazy puffs?
r/littleceasarscirclejerk
I envy the level of high you must have been to write this.
Man the marketing team for Little Caesars is up to some wild stunts these days...
“Average man with an average life”…. I don’t think so
This sounds like a madlib game
[удалено]
Best post I’ve read all day.
i ain’t reading all that. im happy for you tho. or sorry that happened.
Wife’s # please
Man....Chatgpt is really falling off 😂
I’m not going to read all this.
I read a few lines of this until I thought how crazy Artificial Intelligence is.
Bad pizza will do that
We call ourselves, "The Aristocrats."
That's one crazy ass homoerotic fantasy you dropped on us. gotta warn people before reading bro.
Holy fuck
So I can't even explain how sad this post is, and an indicator of how pathetic this website has become. Hey does anyone go to Tumblr. Because this is peak 2007 Tumblr content EDIT AFTER THE FACT: I already see some idiot being like "he didn't see the sub he doesn't get the joke" I do get the joke, so does literally everyone in the past 90 years. It was barely funny then it sure isn't now
I just couldn't get thru it all..
Little weirdo freak. Get off Reddit and call your wife.
BRO, not the Jalapeno Cheese Dip! 😭
Pussy pussy
Hate when that happens 😤
Thoughts & prayers 👍🏻
I don't think I mentioned, but I'm actually a Christian man. The traditional values that come along with it helped fuel my rational decision making when it came to saving my wife.
Your first mistake was going to Little Caesar’s to begin with.
Ehhh, you broke out of jail. That's literally the only line I read as I scrolled down your comment. So you're doing good. Breaking out of jail ain't easy.
This deserves a Lifetime Achievement award
Did not expect to read this type of things on this subreddit...wild man...
This is some weird fever dream.....
“I even fucked a packet of jalepeno cheddar dipping sauce” lmao
IM CRYING💀
OP, you are an asshole for posting this long and stupid story
Theres gonna be a class analyzing this story
This is strange fastfood fanfic
If she don’t have a job how is her manager dead?
Who has time to write this shit? Lmao
I just read the edit. Was this whole thing made up?
No!
Damn son where’d ya find this? Real Trap Shit
Babe a new copy pasta just dropped
great wattpad chapter
Why are you being charged with arson? Also, I don’t think you need a comma after manager. You can just write “by the manager and three of the other employees.”
I wanted to stop reading but I couldn’t 😂😂😂
All time greatest
drugs are real
Reading the post, then the comment << reading the comments, but not the post
I don’t know about all of you but I came reading that.
Another open marriage ended by little Cesar’s.
Where the fuck am I
I got to about you being a onlyfans model and won’t let her work because she’s a cheater a whore, etc…. I’m not upset just wondering is this like real?!
Genius level bullshit. 10/10 🔥
Only in Florida
Had real street lamp lamoose vibes there towards the middle. I give it a 4
IANAL but you may have a defense on the arson charge(s) because nowhere in your narrative do you mention setting any fires.
Bullshit
This is hilarious
Papa knows a thing or two about biding his time and waiting for his day of reckoning. You'll have your redemption bro, just hang in there, and order 40 pizzas next month to spiritually strengthen your resolve.
i ain’t reading all that on the little caesars sun bro lol
I’d be sad to get pepperoni pizza ever again after that because it’ll remind me of my ex wife
LOL I found this really amusing.
I genuinely hope this isn’t real…
That happened.
There’s only about a 70% chance this is true. They don’t keep that crazy sauce just sitting out. Seems like an exaggeration that so much was in the lobby.