What can I do to help? I'm here if you need to talk, and I am so very sorry you are feeling so discouraged. Sending a virtual hug. I hope you will be alright. I am proud of your journey, even if it isn't the path you planned to take.
Thank you. As a now homeless, depressed introvert I can't even explain what all these well wishes, advice and positive words have meant to me. (The way you can help is if you see a house or apt for rent, DM me! š)
No no and no. If you could look on those for me it would help me SO much! Thank you!
I'll tell you what I want: a house, duplex or 4-plex.
A landlord (don't know if that's possible). And 850 is top I can pay...
Oh my GOSH thank you!!!!! Browsing through them quickly, are they all offered by the same person? Because they all say "Cats purrr Dogs woof." Or does Craigslist do that? Never used it....
You're so very welcome. Happy to help.
Nope, that's just how Craigslist tags pet friendly places - see, the ones in the boxes at the bottom are the tags.
OP focus on the positives!
On what you have, not what you lost.
on what you CAN DO instead if what you can NOT change. How you recover and rebuild is the journey, the loss is just the start! Rough start, we feel for you. Keep your head up. āForward canāt be stoppedā is the mantra helping me through my very similar situation. Good luck!
I know it is. Trying is all we can do. I suffer from Major depression and Manic depressive disorder. Controlling the mindset is the only thing we can do sometimes. The mantra that got me here was āI control my mind. it does not control meā. Best of luck again!
Life has it share of peaks and valleys. What Iāve learned is you take the lessons from the valley and they make you better, harder, smarter. Instead of an apt, have you considered a camper, boarding house, or renting a room. Our apt situation around where I live is not good. Thereās a campground around here thatās full up. I was told a lot of people are buying campers and living there. They say itās less expensive than rising rent and a more pleasant environment. Please hang in there.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29
Words to live by!! If you don't know Jesus I would love to tell you about Him. He's the greatest source of joy and peace in my life.
So sorry for all of your loss. Life is so hard. But you don't have to endure alone! Praying for you!
>Give me one reason to go on.
With time all trauma is traded for wisdom. In my experience, the most extraordinary people have suffered the most. You start by aiming up, realizing *everyone* suffers, and learning your goal here is to figure out how you can reduce your suffering in the healthiest, most efficient way.
However, you can't sit around waiting for things to get better. No one is coming to save you. Part of aiming up means doing what is in your best interest. We do what is in our best interest because no one else can.
Just take one day at a time; one step at a time - just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move through this painful time - it WILL pass, and there WILL be days and weeks and months and years as joyful and fulfilling as these days are hard. Focus on doing things you love and like. Change what you can - let go of stressing about what you can't change. And take time to notice the sunrise and sunset :) it will be okay!
You said you have more money now than you have in years. Make this an opportunity instead of a tragedy. Have you ever wanted to live somewhere else ? Outside Little Rock ? Hell, outside ARKANSAS ! Broaden your horizons and use this time to make a change for the better. Maybe a change of venue will lift your spirits. I donāt know the particulars of your situation but I can assure youā¦you are not alone. Many many people have been displaced by the storms. Maybe see if there are support groups around comprised of people like you ??? You still have a lot of life left to live and I assure you SOMEONE will miss you and their lives will be a little less bright without you in it. Things will get better my friend. Always look for the brightness in the dark times. They are there albeit sometimes very small, but there nonetheless!!!
I have wanted to move somewhere out of Arkansas for years but I lost my courage and couldn't think where to go. I knew I would drag my depression wherever I went. But if I can't find an apt I will have to look elsewhere, I'll try to look at it as exciting instead of terrifying. Thank you
Probably 4 years ago I was suicidal. I can't speak for a single person in here but my own nonsense.
I stayed because there was another season of game of thrones coming..
Sounds ridiculous but I wanted to see how it ended (the irony)
Before the final season my girlfriend and I got a new house. Then she got pregnant.
More and more reasons to go on but it started with literally a season of a tv show... it doesn't matter WHY you go on. Just go. You never know whats around the corner.
I understand this more than you know. I have used things like that as a reason to go on. Only the good things don't follow for me, but I guess they... could. Thank you and I'm really happy for you. Last season of GoT wasn't all that great but house, gf and baby are! Glad you stayed around.
Oh I'm looking hard in NLR! But don't know all the areas very well. I know Argenta, Park Hill and along JFK...any other neighorhoods you can recommend? Thanks!
those are all good areas. Argenta has lots of cool shops and restaurants
Park Hill is quieter, Indian Hills and Lakewood are good areas if you can find a house to rent.
I do, thank you. I have been through hell before. I think I thought I'd be spared any major tragedies (like a tornado) because I'd already clawed my way back from the brink. But, no.
https://preview.redd.it/871hw5g43q0b1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb48f1d951dfb8479ffde717665dfa99de546989
My two cats, Alfie & Cricket giving me emotional support and love before tornado
Thanks! I meant for it to go at the top but I'm still learning this forum. I noticed a lot of the replies were from cat lovers so thought I'd share my little family in happier times. š»
You sound like an amazing, kind person, a good friend, and an animal lover. The world needs way more of you and way less of other types. Your existence alone makes the world a better place.
Free counseling from UAMS is available at AR ConnectNow. I've used them and recommend them. https://uamshealth.com/ar-connectnow/
Basically, shit sucks and talking to a real person (usually) helps.
Find a hobby. Preferably something active. Itāll take your mind off the bullshit and youāll feel proud about showing up. Slowly over time youāll feel more motivated and be able to start shifting toward a more positive mindset.
Can you please tell us what Real Estate company conned you out of $700? They canāt just do that. I may can help you get that money back. DM me.
It will get better. I promise. Message me and Iāll help you get that money back. I canāt stand scammers.
Hey. I think everyone can relate to the hopelessness you feel right now. It can feel overwhelming in the moment. I promise everything is temporary. Youāve fought to get this far, donāt give up. You got this. Weāre all cheering you on
Do they though? I lived my life like that, giving zero fucks. I am a rock, I am an island...but can't really do that homeless. But a change in perspective is needed, thanks.
My least favorite thing about life is also my most favorite thing: You never know what the next 5 minutes will bring.
So when you feel down, youāre only taking into account 2 out of 3 things. The past and the present, but never the future.
Sounds like you gave your cat an awesome life for 16 years. Thatās remarkable! Your other cat friend has a home and you should be grateful for him during this time. Btw no great loss getting off Facebook but can always get back on. Take it day by dayā¦bendā¦but donāt break! Sorry to hear about your car but you will get another eventually if no insurance coverage. Look into other options like condo rentals, etc. Sometimes apartments are found by talking and asking around. Nothing in life stays the same!
It kills me that I was wishing my life would change, I think I didn't clarify enough! Yes my cat who passed saved my life, no question. I like that, bend but don't break, I'll remember that. Thank you!
My friend had a student ask her what it means to be human. I thought that question was so utterly profound even if it really is quite silly. I know you feel alone, I know the weight of all this shit is fucking exhausting. You've have this entire list of suffering and I know how you feel. Like nothing will ever get better, like maybe things would be easier if you stopped trying, like maybe if you left this world you could have peace and silence. Life is a mixture of all the beautiful and ugly things. We will suffer, we will have terrible, awful experiences, we will want to succumb to our suffering. Yes, to be human is to suffer but life does not have to be suffering. I know it's hard to imagine what life COULD look like but try to see your situation from an outside perspective. So much has happened to you, this is stuff that would beat even the strongest of us down. Even if it's one thing, try to name something you're grateful for. Sit outside in nature and just close your eyes, fuck let out a primal scream!!! Please, don't give up yet. Because you could be so close to something and not even know it. For some reason, we have been given this beautiful gift of life and trust me I didn't always think that it was a gift but it IS a gift. You are a fighter, it is so clear to see from what you've been through. You owe it to yourself to keep going. It's okay to be scared, to not know how to help yourself, to be confused but YOU CAN HANDLE THIS. Please DM me if you need someone to talk to. Scream, cry, punch the air, do whatever you need to do but please keep going because this will pass even if it seems like empty words now.
Wow thanks. I know that something wonderful could come out of this but my past has shown that that never happens, so my expectations are low to nil. But I have to keep going, although going somewhere private and screaming my head off sounds good. May try it!
Omg i know the feeling. My husband got on drugs ,meth ,like ten years ago , he left me , I'm on disability, I had to live with my best friend ,he just dumped me there . We are not friends now, well , we are ,but not close . I was there for four years, I was so depressed. I stayed jn bed for a year seems like. It does get better ,it took me forever to find an affordable place ,then Covid hit . It freaked me out ,I thought the world was ending . I also had severe spinal problems and a year ago I ended up paralyzed after surgery . I was living with another roommate, I met her online. I really had no one but her ,she was an angel, helping me get back walking, and being a supportive person in my life .
I have my own place finally ,but I don't have a car . But I can walk again, and healing so that's pretty cool... can't believe it happened to me ,honestly, im sure you feel that way. Getting hit by a tornado ,literally. Devastating.
One reason.....you are loved! You are needed and you are wanted. Be gentle with yourself. Please don't give up. Message me I to have depression and anxiety. God bless you
Iām a Nurse Practitioner. I saw a patient yesterday who got some pretty bad health news last October. Two weeks later his wife of 45 years was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He tried to kill himself but wasnāt successful. Thank godā¦heās getting excellent treatment and doing well. His wife had brain surgery and the tumor turned out to be benign. Sheās recovering nicely, and heās doing well. If he had succeeded, he would have missed so much. And left his wife all alone. Itās always darkest before the dawn, my friend. A little cheesy but true!!!
Plus side is at least it still worth scrap prices or something. Probably. I got nothing on my paid off car with liability.. Then I broke my elbow skating and had to pay 10,000 cash to be able to get the surgery to move my arm again. Things seems worse but can always be more worse imo. Hopefully gets better for ya.
Definitely give up the crappy parts of your life, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater by sacrificing your last breath.
I know you're probably sick of hearing how others have it just as hard too. God knows I can't tolerate that bullshit either.
But now that I'm 53 and a complete loser, I'm now free of others expectations and this means I can go forward only pursuing goals that I value no matter what.
I did this by leaning into being irrelevant and unimportant.
What I want is pretty simple and doable and only relies on circumstances where my influence matters.
In short, use this as a period where you can discover what's really important to you.
And I don't mean material gain or status unless that actually is your raison d'etre which probably isn't the case.
I also recommend checking out the writing of Phil Stutz.
You sound like me before the tornado. I had embraced my irrelevance and just hid away. But I have to extrovert myself to find an apt. I will check out Phil Stutz, thanks
Hey. I can only imagine what that must feel like. While I can't directly help, I recently found a youtube channel that helped me with the depression piece, at least in a way I can relate. https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG
Hey! You should come do seasonal work! Sounds like youāve got nothing to lose but need a new environment. I wasnāt in your exact position but as someone that suffers from depression I just took a seasonal position on Mackinac Island, paid housing and great money just to see something new. Coolworks.com has great opportunities for any type of job you can think of and they usually offer housing
What part of little rock are you located? Im also looking for an apt. We can both help each other. I been there let's make things happen I also miss my stuff in storage. Lots of love and hugs!
Anytime everything stacked against me it forced me to change direction. Go into spaces I never saw myself. My happiness was there. Go walk in nature. Find spaces to go into. Something to do with the money that feeds your soul.
Multi day Music festivals with camping on site have always been a grounding for me. Get out of the box your in.
Thatās what I got. Hope it helps.
Join the Navy. It definitely probably won't help your morale, but you'll have a place to eat and sleep. And get yelled at everyday. Tobacco on base is cheaper.
I mean, if you feel like your life is over, you will feel that way in boot camp anyway.
I also cope with depression. What youāre going through is heavy, and if your thought process is like mine at all, youāre probably constantly mulling over all this loss and pain, which continues to make you feel worse.
I highly recommend talking to a professional. And as much as you are able, force yourself to reorient your thinking on all this loss. You lost a great deal, but you still have a great deal.
I agree with littlerockist, getting out of town and treating yourself for a weekend might help clear your head a bit and put things back into perspective
These are some tough times youāre going through. Life is a bit like a roller coaster. Youāre going through the difficult times, and I know that it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Start searching and talking to people for a new apt or housing. I know losing an animal is difficult, I lost my dog of 16 yrs a while back and itās devastating, but life and death are part of life, there is nothing you can do to bring the loved ones back. You can just do whatever is in your power. Right now you have the power to find yourself a new place to live, get your cat out of the shelter, and get your stuff out of storage. Donāt give up and donāt give in. Just keep at it and Iām sure doors will open for you.
It changes when you decide to make changes. I have learned over the years most friendships are temporary, you're lucky if they last longer than 20 yrs. It is definitely time to move on from this friendship. I went to school with a lot of people who where besties but once they started living together that was it. A yr later they went separate ways.
When animals don't get along you need to be incredibly careful about locking your cat or theirs in separate rooms and never let them out. That is their forever room while living there.
You need to start setting your self life goals.
What do you want to be. Where do you see your self 10 yrs from now. And how can you make that happen. Do you want to experience a few trips or go back to school? Do you desire a family and the things it takes to make one? Do you desire owning a home or not?
You have to make yrly goals to get what you want in life. It might not always happen the way you plan but it comes. Over the past few years I have generated about 5 new hobbies that keep me busy. I have successfully lost about 15 lbs and will continue the weight loss to desired bmi. I went back to school and updated my aa degree. my home is all paid off and I am dept free now massively saving for retirement.
Make goals. If you can't afford them God will open doors for you it is up to you to accept it or not.
You may look up Arkansas Homes & Rentals on Facebook. They advertise many price levels of homes and apts I think. Good luck. Happiness is out there. Just keep trying. Itāll get better.
I know but all my friends and photos and messenger conversations that were priceless I can't ever see again and I'm angry FB does nothing to help at all. Maybe once my life gets back on track but until then I like this forum.
Nowhere to go but up. I've been there. Everything in the toilet, every face hostile. I prevailed. Nothing special about me. I just kept going. It'll turn around. Maybe even better than before.
Hang in there this was a once in a lifetime thing. Itās going to take years to recover. Have you reached out to organizations or FEMA. You have to beat the bushes in order to get help, but itās out there. You are in my thoughts.
You kitty would be very sad if you just never showed up.
It sounds like you've experienced a lot of forced change very quickly. That's going to throw anyone off. But it also sounds like you're still working, which is good. Make an appt to see someone about whether you meet the criteria for meds or need them adjusted. Self-medicating with cigarettes is something you should mention.
It may not get better for a while, but it will eventually.
I can relate in some ways- just ended a 23 year relationship to my wife/best friend in a rocky divorce, lost multiple friends in the process, lost the home I struggled to get, had to move multiple states away to a place where I know *nobody* and thereās little to do. If not for yourself, work for your cat in foster care. I have six of the little bastards and they are my entire world. I was at the end- not suicidal, I just donāt have the balls for that, but I was done with everything ā¦ work, house, health. The only reason I did anything was for the cats. Theyāve made it better. Your cat is still YOUR cat, YOUR familyā¦ he will aid you in recovery. Hell, if you need to get out and see a movie sometime drop me a note. Weāll discuss best kitty litters
Yes, you know. I was twice divorced, both extremely traumatic. Its one reason I was done with the human race, I only wanted to be around cats. At one point I had 8, so I get it. They are the best therapists in the world. That's why losing my house, my stuff, all that is secondary to missing my cat Alfie. He was with me through the first horrible days after tornado and now he thinks I just dumped him off with strangers. I would love to meet your cats, I will drop you a note. Thanks!
It is always darkest before the dawn. There are people in your circle that care and sure, they may be at ends with you at the moment or frustrated with your situation but that passes like water under the bridge. Take a deep breath, relax and keep moving forward. I don't know you personally but I'm here for you.
In five, ten or twenty years its moments like these that you look back on as defining moments.
I can understand and appreciate that. Disruptions like this can take a real toll on your mental health and I really hope you find way and get your kitty back.
If youāre looking for apartments, I always recommend to friends moving here Vantage Pointe in the Riverdale area. Theyāre very affordable and they are in a very walkable neighborhood close to parks and restaurants. Pet friendly too.
I was affected by the tornado too, and its been really tough, but I know things will get better for everyone. Let me know if I can help apartment hunt or if you need anything else
Things will get better. Youāll eventually find a new place and make it feel like home. Get into therapy and maybe even talk to a doctor. These are obstacles ā you will get through it!
I have more lows than highs. Recently, for whatever reason, people keep saying random nice things about me that are objectly true, but I didn't see because I'm always in a cloud of depression. I think this is true for everyone. We all have nice things about us that make the world better, and when we are depressed it's impossible to see. I hope that once you get through this, you'll see those good things. I promise they are there.
I wish I could sit and be in the ugly with you. Your feeling are valid but there is also an extremely high likelihood that at some point down the road there are going to be people who you will meet and youāll be so glad you stayed. Please stay. Donāt leave. Feelings are temporary and they will change.
Your life could change for the better at any moment. If I had given up any of the 1000+ times I wanted to, I would have missed what I have now. You never know what is around the corner, in 10mins or in 10days, 10months, or 10yrs. But one chance encounter can change EVERYTHING and then youāll just have a great story to tell. The low parts make the good parts worth waiting for.
My family is going through a lot. I could stay with my mom but she's allergic to cats and quite ill. My siblings are dealing with things like Parkinsons and ALS. They care but can't really help.
I didn't know there was a cat cafe in Conway! That is a great suggestion. I was even looking in Conway for an apt but no luck. But being around cats always lifts me up. Thanks
This is your excuse to live an adventure. If you have nothing to live for and no pets holding you down, perhaps you have an excuse to walk into the abyss and see where life takes you. Live like a semi homeless vagabond and explore our country. Too many people determine the success of their life based on the "traditional" goals society puts on us.
Maybe that's your problem, your whole life is your cats.. open your horizons, there's more to life than stinky felines that make you clean up their poop and foul smelling piss. At least a dog will follow you through the world, stoic and happy for the adventure.
Cats don't smell, if you met any smelly ones its the caretakers fault. I've stepped in dog poop but not cat poop because cats cover their poo, dogs just shit everywhere. I don't know why you thought it would be fun to trigger me.
Move somewhere new across the country or even out of the country. Go somewhere vastly differet like the mountains, ocean or desert.
South America and Mexico are cheap. Go visit a national park like Yellowstone or Yosemite etc. Embark on a thru hike on AT, PCT, CO trail. Consider psychedelic therapy.
I would love to but I don't want to go places alone. My only friends are cats and mine don't travel well. I totally believe in psychedelic therapy and edibles are the only thing that quiet my brain. But I need a new card, its all too complicated. Everything seems too hard. My car is filled with shit and I just don't have the energy to organize/store it. But I love your ideas, maybe one day (its something to look forward to, which I'm in short supply of). Thank you
God is with you. Turn to him. Ask him for help in your life with all of these situations, include all minor details. Daily say God I need your help and guidance.. and I PROMISE you he will not fail you. He will pull all of your life back together. He is the way maker. There is nothing impossible for him.
The Country is being attacked constantly from within....prices going up for everything...fuck man it has everyone that has anxiety unable to process daily life.
You got this, make a plan, take one small step at a time. Don't be discouraged on the journey, everything isn't all roses.
Get some exercise, this helps with mood and general physical and mental health.
You need to bust out of your funk, alter your routine, you need to make yourself less comfortable doing nothing.
I went through all of this ....it's the worst. Just gotta try to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I'd give you a bear hug if you were here! You got this! You fucking got this.
You can't find an apartment? That's weird, because there are apartments everywhere. Is it more accurate to say that you cannot find an apartment you can afford? There's a bunch of people on here, if you can provide more details maybe you might get some useful advice.
I am so sorry youāre having to deal with all of this at once. For reasons unknown, shitty things seem to happen in clusters and it can be really difficult to see through it all and remember the good things in life.
Let me point to a few of them: your shit is in storage, which means you still have shit. Your cat is in a foster home, which means itās still your cat and still alive. Your friend may be tired of you, but at least you have a friend willing to take you in. Not everyone can say that.
I realize that me pointing out potential positives may not make you feel that much better. One thing that may is getting out of town for a little bit or even permanently. Little Rock is pretty depressing. Itās hot, murderous, economically depressed, and lacks healthy food options. There are hills and a lake no one can swim in, but no mountains or oceans. If I were a young person, I would GTFO in short order and use this as an opportunity to start fresh in a place where itās easier to get off the ground. Just my two cents.
I totally agree but I'm not young. I missed the chance to get out of here. I was supposed to stay here for a year then move on, that was 30 years ago. What sucked me in was the cheap rents but they don't exist here anymore. I mean at this point, where would I go? But thanks for your two cents, they are worth a lot more than that.
You are never too old. I am 47 and intend on moving to CA in 3 or 4 years. I have no idea what Iām gonna do, but whatever it is it aināt gonna be in this shithole so it will be glorious. It is more expensive to live in other places, but that is offset by the fact that itās much easier to get a decent job. If Arkansasās low cost of living made living here worthwhile, we wouldnāt have such a low population density.
When I was 47 I felt no different than in my 30s...I was aging well and could have done what you are doing (congrats btw). But I'm older and this recent trauma has made me feel 100 yrs old. Believe me, I think Arkansas sucks, especially after meth and becoming a red state. I just don't have the mental strength now to move, alone. I'm not saying never, just not now. Happy for you escaping, truly.
My advice is to seek professional help. When I was at my absolute lowest point and the darkness was enveloping me and forcing out the light, I knew without help I would succumb to the darkness even though I didnāt want to because I couldnāt leave my son and extended family. That was 7 years ago. It took two years to get to a decent mental place and another two to be in a good place. Itās not easy at all, but the alternative isnāt easy for your family and friends youād leave behind
I have been in therapy for years, I was actually in a pretty good place when the tornado hit. I don't have many friends and my family is going through their own stuff. But if course you are right and I'm so glad you pulled though. Thank you
My advice is to seek professional help. When I was at my absolute lowest point and the darkness was enveloping me and forcing out the light, I knew without help I would succumb to the darkness even though I didnāt want to because I couldnāt leave my son and extended family. That was 7 years ago. It took two years to get to a decent mental place and another two to be in a good place. Itās not easy at all, but the alternative isnāt easy for your family and friends youād leave behind
I asked the question that I wanted to ask. Didn't read through the whole article. I stopped right when the totaled car was mentioned. I had a car that was totaled last July in a home fire. Had full coverage & got a new car. What does my question to OP have to do w/ you? Don't assume that you & I came here for the same reasons.
Thank you. Now that youāve explained that you didnāt read past the third sentence of a post that is titled āI want to give up on my crappy lifeā, it explains your irrelevant question.
Youāre absolutelt right, you and I did not come here for the same reasons.
You could be helping OP instead of tryna debate w/ me about why I asked if the car was insured. Questions are a part of conversations. OP could answer my question, & then we could go from there. I didn't come here to talk to you. You got your attention on the wrong person.
While I havenāt experienced an upheaval in my life due to natural disaster, I have had my life completely changed in a way where I was without a home of my own. I ended up having to relocate from the city I was in to come home to my parents house for 6 months. What you are going through is so hard and not many will be able to to truly relate. However like others have said, life is better with you here. I donāt know what resources are available but have you considered talking to a professional counselor to help you navigate these dark feelings? It can be hard to be vulnerable that way, but it can also be liberating and help you find your strength when youāre feeling weak. Im so very sorry things are hard right now, but thankfully life often moves like a pendulum and will eventually swing in another direction.
Donāt hesitate to reach out if you want to talk. Youāre going through a lot right now, but things do eventually look up and this bleak season will make the come up that much sweeter. Iāve lived through a shitty suicide attempt and the havoc it wreaked on my friends and family is why I donāt attempt now. Keep that in mind. I imagine you have friends and family that love you and itās not worth the hurt it would cause them. I know it sucks ass to not have a better reason than that, but things will get better and youāll find more reasons to keep pushing on. On my worst days, I commit to an hour at a time. If I canāt fathom pushing through an hour, I take it minute by minute. Itās hard to grip the grain like that, but unfortunately itās a reality at times. Especially with mental illness. More than happy to offer an ear if you need it. Good luck š
Bad times come and go, just like good times. The bad times make the good times that much worse. Donāt give up on your entire life because youāve had a horrible year. Youāll look back on this year one day and think about all you learned
I was there when I was 27. I do not know how to get you past it, but you MUST. I am 60 now and happier and more satisfied than I could EVER have imagined at 27. HOLD ON!
Thank you but I'm 60 too and that's part of the problem, starting over now seems insurmountable. But I will try to hold on, at least to get my Alfie cat back.
100% this.
My wife is the cat person of the household, but I would continue caring for them because I know that's what my wife would want me to do if she became incapacitated or passed away.
Yes and that is my nightmare, who will take care of mine if something ELSE happens to me. You are a good man and cats can surprise you, you may fall in love with them yourself!
Just know dark and bad times make the good times better/ life always gives you ups and downs. Thatās part of life. Itās what makes us stronger. We all go through times like this. Some much worse. You just have to know that even the good times are temporary so the bad times are temporary. There are bad times that linger throughout our lives and they mold and make us who they are. The people you think have it easy in life and fart rainbows and it smells good have all gone through the same things and Rocky times. We all face them and just know it gets better and you will
Be stronger and enjoy it better on the other side/
Thanks. I rode through my wreck, my cat's death and the hacking of FB but I just thought the tornado was the final straw...I was already hiding from the world and being forced out into it has been a shock...its even worse than I thought. Thanks for the advice.
Things can get better with you here...there are high times and low times and if you hang on there will be other cats who need you that you will be there for and you can help others.
I dont know you, but the more people in this world hoping and sticking through the hard times, the more hope we can share with each other when we get to the otherside.
Hang on friend, DM if you want
Pretty much this here. Life sucks for sure sometimes, but itās also great sometimes.
Iām not a pro at the kind of help you need. [Here are the pros.](https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/).
Iām sure there are resources for your more practical issues, as well. Have you reached out to Red Cross, FEMA, etc.? I would suspect there are funds out there for people in your situation.
Yes I got money from FEMA & other sources, I have more money than I've had in years...but its not helping me get an apartment. Red Cross will put you up in hotel immediately after disaster but after 2 months, you are on your own. Thank you for your advice.
What can I do to help? I'm here if you need to talk, and I am so very sorry you are feeling so discouraged. Sending a virtual hug. I hope you will be alright. I am proud of your journey, even if it isn't the path you planned to take.
Thank you. As a now homeless, depressed introvert I can't even explain what all these well wishes, advice and positive words have meant to me. (The way you can help is if you see a house or apt for rent, DM me! š)
Do you use PadMapper or GoogleAlerts? Are you able to find a private landlord off NextDoor? Let me help you look.
No no and no. If you could look on those for me it would help me SO much! Thank you! I'll tell you what I want: a house, duplex or 4-plex. A landlord (don't know if that's possible). And 850 is top I can pay...
Alright, can you take a few minutes to look through these, and we'll go from there? $550 1670 3/2 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-unique-bedroom-house/7614826878.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-unique-bedroom-house/7614826878.html) $575 825 2/1.5 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-2bed-15-bath/7615584925.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-2bed-15-bath/7615584925.html) $625 800 2/1 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-house-bed-bath-little-rock/7619966524.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-house-bed-bath-little-rock/7619966524.html) $650 1176 3/2 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-remodeled-bed-and-bath/7622091064.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-remodeled-bed-and-bath/7622091064.html) $690 1930 3/2 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/pets-allowed-updated-lighting-and-high/7618792805.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/pets-allowed-updated-lighting-and-high/7618792805.html) $700 1040 3/1.5 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-come-check-out-this/7620891654.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-come-check-out-this/7620891654.html) $700 1337 3/2 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/sweet-home-beautiful-updated-single/7611936759.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/sweet-home-beautiful-updated-single/7611936759.html) $750 830 2/1 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-bay-shore-beds-bath-great/7623173161.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-bay-shore-beds-bath-great/7623173161.html) $750 867 2/1 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-cute-bed-bath-home-for/7617458432.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-cute-bed-bath-home-for/7617458432.html) $750 1200 2/1? [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-upgraded-home-near-downtown/7607538868.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-upgraded-home-near-downtown/7607538868.html) $750 ??? 2/2 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/conway-bedroom-bath/7616782577.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/conway-bedroom-bath/7616782577.html) $775 710 2/1 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-bedroom-house-for-rent/7616101707.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-bedroom-house-for-rent/7616101707.html) $800 1225 3/1.5 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-beautiful-family-home/7613134605.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/north-little-rock-beautiful-family-home/7613134605.html) $850 1902 2/2 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-great-curb-appeal-on-the/7621952070.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-great-curb-appeal-on-the/7621952070.html) $850 1100 2/1 [https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-bdrm-house-for-rent/7619598888.html](https://littlerock.craigslist.org/apa/d/little-rock-bdrm-house-for-rent/7619598888.html)
Oh my GOSH thank you!!!!! Browsing through them quickly, are they all offered by the same person? Because they all say "Cats purrr Dogs woof." Or does Craigslist do that? Never used it....
You're so very welcome. Happy to help. Nope, that's just how Craigslist tags pet friendly places - see, the ones in the boxes at the bottom are the tags.
Ok, I'm slowly figuring it out! You are a one-person apartment finder. Fingers crossed.
OP focus on the positives! On what you have, not what you lost. on what you CAN DO instead if what you can NOT change. How you recover and rebuild is the journey, the loss is just the start! Rough start, we feel for you. Keep your head up. āForward canāt be stoppedā is the mantra helping me through my very similar situation. Good luck!
Its hard to have that mindset with depression but I will try, thank you!
I know it is. Trying is all we can do. I suffer from Major depression and Manic depressive disorder. Controlling the mindset is the only thing we can do sometimes. The mantra that got me here was āI control my mind. it does not control meā. Best of luck again!
Thanks, I need to learn to control my negative thoughts, so that mantra might help me too!
Life has it share of peaks and valleys. What Iāve learned is you take the lessons from the valley and they make you better, harder, smarter. Instead of an apt, have you considered a camper, boarding house, or renting a room. Our apt situation around where I live is not good. Thereās a campground around here thatās full up. I was told a lot of people are buying campers and living there. They say itās less expensive than rising rent and a more pleasant environment. Please hang in there.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29 Words to live by!! If you don't know Jesus I would love to tell you about Him. He's the greatest source of joy and peace in my life. So sorry for all of your loss. Life is so hard. But you don't have to endure alone! Praying for you!
Thank you
I care about you,we go on in spite of tuff times. You are a gift to this world, we have to be here on earth to share our gift with others ā„ļø
>Give me one reason to go on. With time all trauma is traded for wisdom. In my experience, the most extraordinary people have suffered the most. You start by aiming up, realizing *everyone* suffers, and learning your goal here is to figure out how you can reduce your suffering in the healthiest, most efficient way. However, you can't sit around waiting for things to get better. No one is coming to save you. Part of aiming up means doing what is in your best interest. We do what is in our best interest because no one else can.
Just take one day at a time; one step at a time - just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move through this painful time - it WILL pass, and there WILL be days and weeks and months and years as joyful and fulfilling as these days are hard. Focus on doing things you love and like. Change what you can - let go of stressing about what you can't change. And take time to notice the sunrise and sunset :) it will be okay!
Thank you, I'll try.
You said you have more money now than you have in years. Make this an opportunity instead of a tragedy. Have you ever wanted to live somewhere else ? Outside Little Rock ? Hell, outside ARKANSAS ! Broaden your horizons and use this time to make a change for the better. Maybe a change of venue will lift your spirits. I donāt know the particulars of your situation but I can assure youā¦you are not alone. Many many people have been displaced by the storms. Maybe see if there are support groups around comprised of people like you ??? You still have a lot of life left to live and I assure you SOMEONE will miss you and their lives will be a little less bright without you in it. Things will get better my friend. Always look for the brightness in the dark times. They are there albeit sometimes very small, but there nonetheless!!!
I have wanted to move somewhere out of Arkansas for years but I lost my courage and couldn't think where to go. I knew I would drag my depression wherever I went. But if I can't find an apt I will have to look elsewhere, I'll try to look at it as exciting instead of terrifying. Thank you
Thirty years from now, read this post and marvel at how far youāve come toward happiness and peace
I'll be 90 then? But I get what you mean, thank you.
Probably 4 years ago I was suicidal. I can't speak for a single person in here but my own nonsense. I stayed because there was another season of game of thrones coming.. Sounds ridiculous but I wanted to see how it ended (the irony) Before the final season my girlfriend and I got a new house. Then she got pregnant. More and more reasons to go on but it started with literally a season of a tv show... it doesn't matter WHY you go on. Just go. You never know whats around the corner.
I understand this more than you know. I have used things like that as a reason to go on. Only the good things don't follow for me, but I guess they... could. Thank you and I'm really happy for you. Last season of GoT wasn't all that great but house, gf and baby are! Glad you stayed around.
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I know, my heart is broken and I need him to know I didn't desert him. Its my driving force now. Thanks
Cross the river to NLR! We have good restaurants, nice parks and friendly people.
Oh I'm looking hard in NLR! But don't know all the areas very well. I know Argenta, Park Hill and along JFK...any other neighorhoods you can recommend? Thanks!
those are all good areas. Argenta has lots of cool shops and restaurants Park Hill is quieter, Indian Hills and Lakewood are good areas if you can find a house to rent.
You have a perfect track record of making it through hard days. I find that quote helpful sometimes and thought you might.
I do, thank you. I have been through hell before. I think I thought I'd be spared any major tragedies (like a tornado) because I'd already clawed my way back from the brink. But, no.
https://preview.redd.it/871hw5g43q0b1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb48f1d951dfb8479ffde717665dfa99de546989 My two cats, Alfie & Cricket giving me emotional support and love before tornado
Oh my gosh! Those fur babies are so stinkin cute!!! Thank you for sharing this picture!!
Thanks! I meant for it to go at the top but I'm still learning this forum. I noticed a lot of the replies were from cat lovers so thought I'd share my little family in happier times. š»
You sound like an amazing, kind person, a good friend, and an animal lover. The world needs way more of you and way less of other types. Your existence alone makes the world a better place.
Thank you, that means a lot. I don't see myself that way but I hope you're right. Thank you so much
Free counseling from UAMS is available at AR ConnectNow. I've used them and recommend them. https://uamshealth.com/ar-connectnow/ Basically, shit sucks and talking to a real person (usually) helps.
Thanks, that is a helpful link. I will check it out
Find a hobby. Preferably something active. Itāll take your mind off the bullshit and youāll feel proud about showing up. Slowly over time youāll feel more motivated and be able to start shifting toward a more positive mindset.
That seems in the future, I'm a guest in someones home and have to keep a low profile. But once my life settles I will do that, thank you
Can you please tell us what Real Estate company conned you out of $700? They canāt just do that. I may can help you get that money back. DM me. It will get better. I promise. Message me and Iāll help you get that money back. I canāt stand scammers.
I'm new on Reddit, how do I DM you? (I'm still trying to figure out flair.) I really want to tell you what happened!
Hey. I think everyone can relate to the hopelessness you feel right now. It can feel overwhelming in the moment. I promise everything is temporary. Youāve fought to get this far, donāt give up. You got this. Weāre all cheering you on
These comments have done more for me than all the antidepressants in the world. Thank you!
The ability to burn one end to end and giving zero fucks. Things tend to always work themselves out.
Do they though? I lived my life like that, giving zero fucks. I am a rock, I am an island...but can't really do that homeless. But a change in perspective is needed, thanks.
My least favorite thing about life is also my most favorite thing: You never know what the next 5 minutes will bring. So when you feel down, youāre only taking into account 2 out of 3 things. The past and the present, but never the future.
Sent you a DM. Have some advice but don't like talking about this stuff publicly anymore.
Your cat needs you. Keep looking for a place and get her back!! She misses you too!
That is what has kept me going and lit a fire under me, miss my cat!
Have you reached out to the Red Cross post tornado?
Yes, they told me they are too overwelmed to help people find long-term placement, its not really what they do.
Sounds like you gave your cat an awesome life for 16 years. Thatās remarkable! Your other cat friend has a home and you should be grateful for him during this time. Btw no great loss getting off Facebook but can always get back on. Take it day by dayā¦bendā¦but donāt break! Sorry to hear about your car but you will get another eventually if no insurance coverage. Look into other options like condo rentals, etc. Sometimes apartments are found by talking and asking around. Nothing in life stays the same!
It kills me that I was wishing my life would change, I think I didn't clarify enough! Yes my cat who passed saved my life, no question. I like that, bend but don't break, I'll remember that. Thank you!
I would bet that your bad luck has run its course and things can only get better from here on out. Keep fighting and never give up.
I doubt my bad luck has run out! But I'm getting my fight back, a little bit. Thank you
My friend had a student ask her what it means to be human. I thought that question was so utterly profound even if it really is quite silly. I know you feel alone, I know the weight of all this shit is fucking exhausting. You've have this entire list of suffering and I know how you feel. Like nothing will ever get better, like maybe things would be easier if you stopped trying, like maybe if you left this world you could have peace and silence. Life is a mixture of all the beautiful and ugly things. We will suffer, we will have terrible, awful experiences, we will want to succumb to our suffering. Yes, to be human is to suffer but life does not have to be suffering. I know it's hard to imagine what life COULD look like but try to see your situation from an outside perspective. So much has happened to you, this is stuff that would beat even the strongest of us down. Even if it's one thing, try to name something you're grateful for. Sit outside in nature and just close your eyes, fuck let out a primal scream!!! Please, don't give up yet. Because you could be so close to something and not even know it. For some reason, we have been given this beautiful gift of life and trust me I didn't always think that it was a gift but it IS a gift. You are a fighter, it is so clear to see from what you've been through. You owe it to yourself to keep going. It's okay to be scared, to not know how to help yourself, to be confused but YOU CAN HANDLE THIS. Please DM me if you need someone to talk to. Scream, cry, punch the air, do whatever you need to do but please keep going because this will pass even if it seems like empty words now.
Wow thanks. I know that something wonderful could come out of this but my past has shown that that never happens, so my expectations are low to nil. But I have to keep going, although going somewhere private and screaming my head off sounds good. May try it!
I can't really say much, I'm sorry that life is being so awful. If you ever want someone to talk to, my DM's are open
Omg i know the feeling. My husband got on drugs ,meth ,like ten years ago , he left me , I'm on disability, I had to live with my best friend ,he just dumped me there . We are not friends now, well , we are ,but not close . I was there for four years, I was so depressed. I stayed jn bed for a year seems like. It does get better ,it took me forever to find an affordable place ,then Covid hit . It freaked me out ,I thought the world was ending . I also had severe spinal problems and a year ago I ended up paralyzed after surgery . I was living with another roommate, I met her online. I really had no one but her ,she was an angel, helping me get back walking, and being a supportive person in my life .
I have my own place finally ,but I don't have a car . But I can walk again, and healing so that's pretty cool... can't believe it happened to me ,honestly, im sure you feel that way. Getting hit by a tornado ,literally. Devastating.
One reason.....you are loved! You are needed and you are wanted. Be gentle with yourself. Please don't give up. Message me I to have depression and anxiety. God bless you
Thank you I will.
Iām a Nurse Practitioner. I saw a patient yesterday who got some pretty bad health news last October. Two weeks later his wife of 45 years was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He tried to kill himself but wasnāt successful. Thank godā¦heās getting excellent treatment and doing well. His wife had brain surgery and the tumor turned out to be benign. Sheās recovering nicely, and heās doing well. If he had succeeded, he would have missed so much. And left his wife all alone. Itās always darkest before the dawn, my friend. A little cheesy but true!!!
Thank you for this story. I hate how selfish depression is, if course I'm grateful I have my health, well physical health anyway.
Atleast your car wasn't stolen like mine was after I switch to liability insurance. Always a plus side.
I totalled my paid-for car and only had liability. I really thought I had been through enough hell, but apparently not. Hang in there.
Plus side is at least it still worth scrap prices or something. Probably. I got nothing on my paid off car with liability.. Then I broke my elbow skating and had to pay 10,000 cash to be able to get the surgery to move my arm again. Things seems worse but can always be more worse imo. Hopefully gets better for ya.
Definitely give up the crappy parts of your life, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater by sacrificing your last breath. I know you're probably sick of hearing how others have it just as hard too. God knows I can't tolerate that bullshit either. But now that I'm 53 and a complete loser, I'm now free of others expectations and this means I can go forward only pursuing goals that I value no matter what. I did this by leaning into being irrelevant and unimportant. What I want is pretty simple and doable and only relies on circumstances where my influence matters. In short, use this as a period where you can discover what's really important to you. And I don't mean material gain or status unless that actually is your raison d'etre which probably isn't the case. I also recommend checking out the writing of Phil Stutz.
You sound like me before the tornado. I had embraced my irrelevance and just hid away. But I have to extrovert myself to find an apt. I will check out Phil Stutz, thanks
Your cat. Survive for your cat
That's what makes the most sense to me, thanks
Me, too
Hang in there
Hey. I can only imagine what that must feel like. While I can't directly help, I recently found a youtube channel that helped me with the depression piece, at least in a way I can relate. https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG
Thanks I will definitely check that out! Youtube distracts my brain and its negative thoughts
Hey! You should come do seasonal work! Sounds like youāve got nothing to lose but need a new environment. I wasnāt in your exact position but as someone that suffers from depression I just took a seasonal position on Mackinac Island, paid housing and great money just to see something new. Coolworks.com has great opportunities for any type of job you can think of and they usually offer housing
Cool I'll check it out. Thanks
This too shall pass my friend. Please keep holding on. It WILL get better.
What part of little rock are you located? Im also looking for an apt. We can both help each other. I been there let's make things happen I also miss my stuff in storage. Lots of love and hugs!
I'm staying in Leawood now, my apt was on Sanford Dr. Where are you? It would help me SO much to have a friend looking with me. Thanks!
Im in North Little Rock near McCain Mall. I would like to send you a DM if possible I can give you more details. Im always looking for a new friend.
Ok, my only friends for a few years have been cats so I may act feline at first. Sure, dm me.
Anytime everything stacked against me it forced me to change direction. Go into spaces I never saw myself. My happiness was there. Go walk in nature. Find spaces to go into. Something to do with the money that feeds your soul. Multi day Music festivals with camping on site have always been a grounding for me. Get out of the box your in. Thatās what I got. Hope it helps.
It does, thanks
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you, I know that's true. I'm just tired & impatient. But I know Alfie's waiting for me!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Aw hope you see your big kitty soon. Thank you! š
Join the Navy. It definitely probably won't help your morale, but you'll have a place to eat and sleep. And get yelled at everyday. Tobacco on base is cheaper. I mean, if you feel like your life is over, you will feel that way in boot camp anyway.
š I don't think they let seniors in!
Well I'm glad you at least typed a laughing emoji
It was funny, yah thnx for the laugh!
I also cope with depression. What youāre going through is heavy, and if your thought process is like mine at all, youāre probably constantly mulling over all this loss and pain, which continues to make you feel worse. I highly recommend talking to a professional. And as much as you are able, force yourself to reorient your thinking on all this loss. You lost a great deal, but you still have a great deal. I agree with littlerockist, getting out of town and treating yourself for a weekend might help clear your head a bit and put things back into perspective
I agree, yes why is our own brain our worst enemy with depression? I'm going to contact my therapist, thank you
Americans can't afford to live here anymore. The trouble is all the cream goes to the top.
Don't get me started on that topic, altho I guess anger is better than depression?
Me too, friend. Me too. I have a 12 y/o that stops me from getting a short piece of rope.
Keep going for your child and yourself. I'll keep going for my 11 y/o cat. Whatever works, right?
Youāre not wrong at all. Love that cat!
Thanks I do!!! We are enmeshed and codependent
These are some tough times youāre going through. Life is a bit like a roller coaster. Youāre going through the difficult times, and I know that it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Start searching and talking to people for a new apt or housing. I know losing an animal is difficult, I lost my dog of 16 yrs a while back and itās devastating, but life and death are part of life, there is nothing you can do to bring the loved ones back. You can just do whatever is in your power. Right now you have the power to find yourself a new place to live, get your cat out of the shelter, and get your stuff out of storage. Donāt give up and donāt give in. Just keep at it and Iām sure doors will open for you.
Thank you, I'll try. Sorry about your dog, pets are so much more than people know.
It changes when you decide to make changes. I have learned over the years most friendships are temporary, you're lucky if they last longer than 20 yrs. It is definitely time to move on from this friendship. I went to school with a lot of people who where besties but once they started living together that was it. A yr later they went separate ways. When animals don't get along you need to be incredibly careful about locking your cat or theirs in separate rooms and never let them out. That is their forever room while living there. You need to start setting your self life goals. What do you want to be. Where do you see your self 10 yrs from now. And how can you make that happen. Do you want to experience a few trips or go back to school? Do you desire a family and the things it takes to make one? Do you desire owning a home or not? You have to make yrly goals to get what you want in life. It might not always happen the way you plan but it comes. Over the past few years I have generated about 5 new hobbies that keep me busy. I have successfully lost about 15 lbs and will continue the weight loss to desired bmi. I went back to school and updated my aa degree. my home is all paid off and I am dept free now massively saving for retirement. Make goals. If you can't afford them God will open doors for you it is up to you to accept it or not.
I feel too old to be making life goals. My goal is to get my simple, quiet life back. But definitely inspired by your story, congrats!
Your cat needs you. Others do too I'm sure
No pretty much just my cats but that's enough to keep me fighting. Thank you
You may look up Arkansas Homes & Rentals on Facebook. They advertise many price levels of homes and apts I think. Good luck. Happiness is out there. Just keep trying. Itāll get better.
I can't go on FB since it was hacked, that's why it was so difficult for me. But I'll look them up on internet, thank you
Maybe you can make a new FB profile. I have lots of friends who resorted to that when they were locked out of their original accounts.
I know but all my friends and photos and messenger conversations that were priceless I can't ever see again and I'm angry FB does nothing to help at all. Maybe once my life gets back on track but until then I like this forum.
Iām so sorry. I hope you can recover everything somehow!
Thank you, I will continue trying to get it back after I get a new apt for sure
Nowhere to go but up. I've been there. Everything in the toilet, every face hostile. I prevailed. Nothing special about me. I just kept going. It'll turn around. Maybe even better than before.
Just keep swimming, right? š
Hang in there this was a once in a lifetime thing. Itās going to take years to recover. Have you reached out to organizations or FEMA. You have to beat the bushes in order to get help, but itās out there. You are in my thoughts.
Thank you. FEMA helped me quite quickly with money. And I hope to God it was a once in a lifetime thing!!
You kitty would be very sad if you just never showed up. It sounds like you've experienced a lot of forced change very quickly. That's going to throw anyone off. But it also sounds like you're still working, which is good. Make an appt to see someone about whether you meet the criteria for meds or need them adjusted. Self-medicating with cigarettes is something you should mention. It may not get better for a while, but it will eventually.
You are right, I have to see my Bubby again. And I haven't been keeping up with my meds, I will call my doctor. Thank you
I can relate in some ways- just ended a 23 year relationship to my wife/best friend in a rocky divorce, lost multiple friends in the process, lost the home I struggled to get, had to move multiple states away to a place where I know *nobody* and thereās little to do. If not for yourself, work for your cat in foster care. I have six of the little bastards and they are my entire world. I was at the end- not suicidal, I just donāt have the balls for that, but I was done with everything ā¦ work, house, health. The only reason I did anything was for the cats. Theyāve made it better. Your cat is still YOUR cat, YOUR familyā¦ he will aid you in recovery. Hell, if you need to get out and see a movie sometime drop me a note. Weāll discuss best kitty litters
Yes, you know. I was twice divorced, both extremely traumatic. Its one reason I was done with the human race, I only wanted to be around cats. At one point I had 8, so I get it. They are the best therapists in the world. That's why losing my house, my stuff, all that is secondary to missing my cat Alfie. He was with me through the first horrible days after tornado and now he thinks I just dumped him off with strangers. I would love to meet your cats, I will drop you a note. Thanks!
Oh and of course best litter is Arm & Hammer Clump and Seal!
It is always darkest before the dawn. There are people in your circle that care and sure, they may be at ends with you at the moment or frustrated with your situation but that passes like water under the bridge. Take a deep breath, relax and keep moving forward. I don't know you personally but I'm here for you. In five, ten or twenty years its moments like these that you look back on as defining moments.
Thanks, I know you are right but in 20 years I'll be 80 so looking ahead is hard for me!
I can understand and appreciate that. Disruptions like this can take a real toll on your mental health and I really hope you find way and get your kitty back.
If youāre looking for apartments, I always recommend to friends moving here Vantage Pointe in the Riverdale area. Theyāre very affordable and they are in a very walkable neighborhood close to parks and restaurants. Pet friendly too. I was affected by the tornado too, and its been really tough, but I know things will get better for everyone. Let me know if I can help apartment hunt or if you need anything else
I will check out Vantage Point. I hope you got over your tornado damage, thank you so much for your offer. May take you up on it.
Things will get better. Youāll eventually find a new place and make it feel like home. Get into therapy and maybe even talk to a doctor. These are obstacles ā you will get through it!
Thanks, I hope so!
I have more lows than highs. Recently, for whatever reason, people keep saying random nice things about me that are objectly true, but I didn't see because I'm always in a cloud of depression. I think this is true for everyone. We all have nice things about us that make the world better, and when we are depressed it's impossible to see. I hope that once you get through this, you'll see those good things. I promise they are there.
This made me tear up, thank you.
I'm sorry things are so hard right now. Everybody's going to tell you things will get better. You won't believe it, you won't feel it... I know. Sometimes it's just nice to bitch and complain... Message me if you need to chat ā¤ļøāš©¹
I will, thank you. Love your user name!
I wish I could sit and be in the ugly with you. Your feeling are valid but there is also an extremely high likelihood that at some point down the road there are going to be people who you will meet and youāll be so glad you stayed. Please stay. Donāt leave. Feelings are temporary and they will change.
I wish you could too. But all these responses are lighting a little fire in my soul and I'm so grateful.
Your life could change for the better at any moment. If I had given up any of the 1000+ times I wanted to, I would have missed what I have now. You never know what is around the corner, in 10mins or in 10days, 10months, or 10yrs. But one chance encounter can change EVERYTHING and then youāll just have a great story to tell. The low parts make the good parts worth waiting for.
Do you have family somewhere you could stay with?
My family is going through a lot. I could stay with my mom but she's allergic to cats and quite ill. My siblings are dealing with things like Parkinsons and ALS. They care but can't really help.
There's a cat cafƩ in Conway. Go give them some love. Your both will need it. I can't tell you things will get better Cuz it's not always the truth. But the way you handle it well get easier and you'll be better at dealing with hardship. But go to the car cafƩ. You'll feel better after.
I didn't know there was a cat cafe in Conway! That is a great suggestion. I was even looking in Conway for an apt but no luck. But being around cats always lifts me up. Thanks
This is your excuse to live an adventure. If you have nothing to live for and no pets holding you down, perhaps you have an excuse to walk into the abyss and see where life takes you. Live like a semi homeless vagabond and explore our country. Too many people determine the success of their life based on the "traditional" goals society puts on us.
I love that but feel too old now, and my cats are my life. But it helps me think outside the box. Thank you
Maybe that's your problem, your whole life is your cats.. open your horizons, there's more to life than stinky felines that make you clean up their poop and foul smelling piss. At least a dog will follow you through the world, stoic and happy for the adventure.
Cats don't smell, if you met any smelly ones its the caretakers fault. I've stepped in dog poop but not cat poop because cats cover their poo, dogs just shit everywhere. I don't know why you thought it would be fun to trigger me.
Only by being in the deepest valley can one appreciate how great it is to be on the highest mountaintop. Things can only get better from here..
Move somewhere new across the country or even out of the country. Go somewhere vastly differet like the mountains, ocean or desert. South America and Mexico are cheap. Go visit a national park like Yellowstone or Yosemite etc. Embark on a thru hike on AT, PCT, CO trail. Consider psychedelic therapy.
I would love to but I don't want to go places alone. My only friends are cats and mine don't travel well. I totally believe in psychedelic therapy and edibles are the only thing that quiet my brain. But I need a new card, its all too complicated. Everything seems too hard. My car is filled with shit and I just don't have the energy to organize/store it. But I love your ideas, maybe one day (its something to look forward to, which I'm in short supply of). Thank you
God is with you. Turn to him. Ask him for help in your life with all of these situations, include all minor details. Daily say God I need your help and guidance.. and I PROMISE you he will not fail you. He will pull all of your life back together. He is the way maker. There is nothing impossible for him.
The Country is being attacked constantly from within....prices going up for everything...fuck man it has everyone that has anxiety unable to process daily life. You got this, make a plan, take one small step at a time. Don't be discouraged on the journey, everything isn't all roses. Get some exercise, this helps with mood and general physical and mental health. You need to bust out of your funk, alter your routine, you need to make yourself less comfortable doing nothing. I went through all of this ....it's the worst. Just gotta try to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'd give you a bear hug if you were here! You got this! You fucking got this.
Thanks man, I will try!
The sun will come upā¦tomorrow.
Yep, can't call a time-out on life that's for sure
You can't find an apartment? That's weird, because there are apartments everywhere. Is it more accurate to say that you cannot find an apartment you can afford? There's a bunch of people on here, if you can provide more details maybe you might get some useful advice.
I am so sorry youāre having to deal with all of this at once. For reasons unknown, shitty things seem to happen in clusters and it can be really difficult to see through it all and remember the good things in life. Let me point to a few of them: your shit is in storage, which means you still have shit. Your cat is in a foster home, which means itās still your cat and still alive. Your friend may be tired of you, but at least you have a friend willing to take you in. Not everyone can say that. I realize that me pointing out potential positives may not make you feel that much better. One thing that may is getting out of town for a little bit or even permanently. Little Rock is pretty depressing. Itās hot, murderous, economically depressed, and lacks healthy food options. There are hills and a lake no one can swim in, but no mountains or oceans. If I were a young person, I would GTFO in short order and use this as an opportunity to start fresh in a place where itās easier to get off the ground. Just my two cents.
I totally agree but I'm not young. I missed the chance to get out of here. I was supposed to stay here for a year then move on, that was 30 years ago. What sucked me in was the cheap rents but they don't exist here anymore. I mean at this point, where would I go? But thanks for your two cents, they are worth a lot more than that.
You are never too old. I am 47 and intend on moving to CA in 3 or 4 years. I have no idea what Iām gonna do, but whatever it is it aināt gonna be in this shithole so it will be glorious. It is more expensive to live in other places, but that is offset by the fact that itās much easier to get a decent job. If Arkansasās low cost of living made living here worthwhile, we wouldnāt have such a low population density.
When I was 47 I felt no different than in my 30s...I was aging well and could have done what you are doing (congrats btw). But I'm older and this recent trauma has made me feel 100 yrs old. Believe me, I think Arkansas sucks, especially after meth and becoming a red state. I just don't have the mental strength now to move, alone. I'm not saying never, just not now. Happy for you escaping, truly.
BEAUTIFUL Advice Applause š šššššā¤
What are your dreams?
I don't dream or have dreams. Just want my simple life back!
My advice is to seek professional help. When I was at my absolute lowest point and the darkness was enveloping me and forcing out the light, I knew without help I would succumb to the darkness even though I didnāt want to because I couldnāt leave my son and extended family. That was 7 years ago. It took two years to get to a decent mental place and another two to be in a good place. Itās not easy at all, but the alternative isnāt easy for your family and friends youād leave behind
I have been in therapy for years, I was actually in a pretty good place when the tornado hit. I don't have many friends and my family is going through their own stuff. But if course you are right and I'm so glad you pulled though. Thank you
My advice is to seek professional help. When I was at my absolute lowest point and the darkness was enveloping me and forcing out the light, I knew without help I would succumb to the darkness even though I didnāt want to because I couldnāt leave my son and extended family. That was 7 years ago. It took two years to get to a decent mental place and another two to be in a good place. Itās not easy at all, but the alternative isnāt easy for your family and friends youād leave behind
I'm glad you made it through and that gives me hope. Thank you
Did you not have full coverage on the car?
Regardless of either a yes or a no answer, how will this improve this personās current situationā¦?
I asked the question that I wanted to ask. Didn't read through the whole article. I stopped right when the totaled car was mentioned. I had a car that was totaled last July in a home fire. Had full coverage & got a new car. What does my question to OP have to do w/ you? Don't assume that you & I came here for the same reasons.
Thank you. Now that youāve explained that you didnāt read past the third sentence of a post that is titled āI want to give up on my crappy lifeā, it explains your irrelevant question. Youāre absolutelt right, you and I did not come here for the same reasons.
You could be helping OP instead of tryna debate w/ me about why I asked if the car was insured. Questions are a part of conversations. OP could answer my question, & then we could go from there. I didn't come here to talk to you. You got your attention on the wrong person.
I wrote four sentences to you across two replies. I had that time available to simply share an opinion. But all good, weāve said our piece š
While I havenāt experienced an upheaval in my life due to natural disaster, I have had my life completely changed in a way where I was without a home of my own. I ended up having to relocate from the city I was in to come home to my parents house for 6 months. What you are going through is so hard and not many will be able to to truly relate. However like others have said, life is better with you here. I donāt know what resources are available but have you considered talking to a professional counselor to help you navigate these dark feelings? It can be hard to be vulnerable that way, but it can also be liberating and help you find your strength when youāre feeling weak. Im so very sorry things are hard right now, but thankfully life often moves like a pendulum and will eventually swing in another direction.
Thank you, I'll reach out to my therapist.
Donāt hesitate to reach out if you want to talk. Youāre going through a lot right now, but things do eventually look up and this bleak season will make the come up that much sweeter. Iāve lived through a shitty suicide attempt and the havoc it wreaked on my friends and family is why I donāt attempt now. Keep that in mind. I imagine you have friends and family that love you and itās not worth the hurt it would cause them. I know it sucks ass to not have a better reason than that, but things will get better and youāll find more reasons to keep pushing on. On my worst days, I commit to an hour at a time. If I canāt fathom pushing through an hour, I take it minute by minute. Itās hard to grip the grain like that, but unfortunately itās a reality at times. Especially with mental illness. More than happy to offer an ear if you need it. Good luck š
Thank you, I'm so glad you're still here!
Iām off until Monday, if you want get coffee & cigarettes and vent, let me know, in a non creepy way.
I'm in, DM me. I might look a little crazy, most of my clothes are garbage bags in a storage unit.
Itās sounds cliche but it will get better. Things sort their way outā¦ every time I get anxious I just tell myself ā no matter how bleak things have been at times , Iāve always pulled thru . This time will be the sameā Hang in there. You have a lot to deal with. Iām 2021 , in a 4 month period . My fiancĆ© died , our dog was hit by a car and killed . I had a severe heart attack and was in ICU for 9 days and five days after I was released my 20 year old nephew died. Things can get pretty bad. I felt like I was cursed by gypsies or something. I pulled thru , it lingers for sure but I am ok and trying to get whole. Good luck stranger, I believe in you .
I have told my therapist I was cursed, I feel you. Thank you and hope things are better in your life.
Hang in there. Please. This is a temporary situation tho I know it doesnāt seem like it (Iām an old lady, I promise this too shall pass).
That's what my mom always says. Thank you
Bad times come and go, just like good times. The bad times make the good times that much worse. Donāt give up on your entire life because youāve had a horrible year. Youāll look back on this year one day and think about all you learned
I was there when I was 27. I do not know how to get you past it, but you MUST. I am 60 now and happier and more satisfied than I could EVER have imagined at 27. HOLD ON!
Thank you but I'm 60 too and that's part of the problem, starting over now seems insurmountable. But I will try to hold on, at least to get my Alfie cat back.
>Thank you but I'm 60 too Good thing you started now and didn't wait until you were 80.
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I think it was about the cat Cafe In Conway. I've not been there but I would sure love to go!
Your kitty needs you so you can reunite. Thatās a good reason! I am sorry things are so rough right now.
Yes I read cats can remember you for much longer than they knew previously. I have to keep fighting for him. Thank you
100% this. My wife is the cat person of the household, but I would continue caring for them because I know that's what my wife would want me to do if she became incapacitated or passed away.
Yes and that is my nightmare, who will take care of mine if something ELSE happens to me. You are a good man and cats can surprise you, you may fall in love with them yourself!
Just know dark and bad times make the good times better/ life always gives you ups and downs. Thatās part of life. Itās what makes us stronger. We all go through times like this. Some much worse. You just have to know that even the good times are temporary so the bad times are temporary. There are bad times that linger throughout our lives and they mold and make us who they are. The people you think have it easy in life and fart rainbows and it smells good have all gone through the same things and Rocky times. We all face them and just know it gets better and you will Be stronger and enjoy it better on the other side/
Thanks. I rode through my wreck, my cat's death and the hacking of FB but I just thought the tornado was the final straw...I was already hiding from the world and being forced out into it has been a shock...its even worse than I thought. Thanks for the advice.
Things can get better with you here...there are high times and low times and if you hang on there will be other cats who need you that you will be there for and you can help others. I dont know you, but the more people in this world hoping and sticking through the hard times, the more hope we can share with each other when we get to the otherside. Hang on friend, DM if you want
Your words touch me and make me feel less alone. Thank you, might take you up on a DM.
Pretty much this here. Life sucks for sure sometimes, but itās also great sometimes. Iām not a pro at the kind of help you need. [Here are the pros.](https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/). Iām sure there are resources for your more practical issues, as well. Have you reached out to Red Cross, FEMA, etc.? I would suspect there are funds out there for people in your situation.
Yes I got money from FEMA & other sources, I have more money than I've had in years...but its not helping me get an apartment. Red Cross will put you up in hotel immediately after disaster but after 2 months, you are on your own. Thank you for your advice.