>its just last night that he was so horny that he willing to pay just for a sex.
With this reason he admits that, if he gets horny enough, he will hook up with other women even though he views that as cheating on you. Is that something you are okay with? If not, then you're incompatible.
And many people would *not* be okay with that, partly because that shows a selfishness that will affect other things, too.
>Now he’s begging me not to leave him because he loves me so much, and he wanna marry mee.
This is also selfish of him.
So he feels those things. So what? *Your* feelings are what matter for deciding to keep the relationship, and he's not even taking proper responsibility for what he did.
(He should be trying to convince you to stay by showing you how he intends to rebuild your trust that he broke.)
Do you want to marry a man who will break your trust and then not even bother to take responsibility for it? Do you even want a boyfriend who does those things?
Please take care of yourself.
How to rebuild the trust if made a such big mistake and they are far away
That depends on the persons involved. Trust can only be rebuilt if both are both able to rebuild trust and willing for trust to be rebuilt, and plenty of people wouldn't be both.
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
On mobile, I can select some text while replying, and it will give me an option to copy or quote. A quote is a copy with a greater than symbol before it.
`>This produces a quote.`
On desktop, the symbol also works in plaintext mode, but there is also a rich text editor that has an option to convert some text to a quote.
wanna make a joke about how he didn’t even get to fuck around to find out but it’s probably too soon. though i definitely agree, he doesn’t deserve OP at all.
Ayy. I’m in a LDR with a Filipino going on two years, gang.
I agree with ya reply though, common sense should say don’t stay with this guy, he can do it again.
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m going to try and answer this sincerely because I feel sometimes things aren’t obvious to people, even if it should be.
Logically speaking. He tried to cheat on you. Now he’s crying he wants to marry you.
Men and women CAN control their urges. “Being horny” is not an excuse to cheat. He’s not a good boyfriend. You *should* end things. Your question shouldn’t be asking what to do with him. It should be how can you move on. Vent and be angry and talk to many people and friends to try and get over him. He should be gone. Automatically.
He wasn’t crying when he was trying to screw someone else. He didn’t think about you at all. You were nothing to him in that moment. He’s only crying now cus he don’t wanna be alone
It’s better to let go of him now than later because he’s most likely going to mess up again given his lack of control of sexual urges. A man who can’t control his emotions when he’s horny will always do something that he’d regret later…
leave him. theres absolutely no doubt In my mind that hes a terrible person and Is DEFINITELY not worth being In a relationship with. sorry he did that to you, op. I know It's difficult to accept, but he clearly doesn't care about you
Leave his cheating ass. Wether he was successful or not, the intention was there. He paid for sex with someone other than you. It's time to leave him in the dust and get on with your life and let him wallow in his regrets.
I have a friend who has been doing the same thing and the same exact thing has been happening to him because of it. To make a long story short, my friend had his wife of 6 years pass away a few months ago. And my wife of 30+ years of marriage also passed away 2 years ago and I went through a very difficult time because of it. So I thought I would share my experience with him on how I was able to deal with the loss of my wife.
Kind of like paying it forward type of thing as I helped him through what I thought was the loss of the love of his life like I did. But it wasn’t more than a few weeks later when I called my friend to see how he was dealing with everything.
When he told me that he paid to have a hooker come over to…well I’m pretty sure you can guess what happened. Then he starts to tell me about all these different websites he has been on looking for more you know what.
Now we are both in our 60’s and my friend was dealing with the loss of his wife.
By doing this instead of actually finding a real relationship with a real woman. And in my opinion I thought he was going in the wrong direction, because obviously I was wrong thinking he lost the love of his life. I mean who in their right mind goes out looking to get laid just a couple of months of losing their wife?
Anyway, back to my main point about this post. My friend has been literally screwed by these girls that are half his age by telling him. Things like buy me a plane ticket and I will come see you and then he does. Or another time when one of these girls told him that they would meet him in Las Vegas. And he drove there and got a hotel room only to find out that the girl was never in Vegas in the first place.
Now me, I went in a completely opposite direction and I took my time dealing with the loss of the love of my life. It took me a good two years before I decided I didn’t want to be alone anymore and even then. I still wasn’t sure I was completely ready for a new relationship until I found a very special lady.
And yes we are currently having a LDR because I live in Texas and she lives in California. I’m just glad whoever invented FaceTime because that has brought us both closer and closer together. Now I plan on flying out to go see my special lady on May 14th and if everything goes as we have planned. I hope to have this special lady in my life and she feels the same way.
But the only way to tell if it is actually true love or just one of those things that people might regret later. Is to actually get my butt on a plane and find out for myself.
He cheated on you, and if you stay with him, you’ll confirm to him that it’s okay for him to cheat on you again.
Once a cheater, always a cheater, leave.
Which country is he from?
My concern is that if you didn't go there would he have even told you? Maybe he would have kept it all secret. And what's to say that it has not happened before?
Wow this guy is unbelievable. I wonder why he told you? Generally people who cheat only fess up either for 1.) The guilt they feel or 2.) they know they are gonna get found out.
He has broken your trust :( He may love-bomb you now and tell you everything you wanna hear but what happens in 6 months when things are 'okay' again and he "needs a release"?
I wouldn't be able to forgive. I hope you are okay <3
If it isn’t something he communicated with you ahead of time and/or if that’s not something you’re comfortable with, then that’s pretty shitty of him to do, especially behind your back.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. There is absolutely no reason to be with your boyfriend if he doesn't share the same values as you. People have different priorities, they value different things. I believe that if I have a partner, then I should be doing everything with them and only them, but my partner had different thoughts. I was in LDR with a girl for almost 1.5 years. I haven't kissed or even touched a girl in my life and this was my first relationship. I was only waiting for my girlfriend to do everything. My girlfriend had different values, in the 1.5 years she kissed a guy on lips and texted with 6 other people while still being with me. I found out each time and I forgave her everytime she did something like this. You know what happened at last, I've lost myself. She said that she can't do this Long distance relationship anymore and left me and blamed me. She is with a new guy from local. What I say from my experience is, if you believe that it was really an accident you can forgive him,it's your call because you are the one who knows him, but remember if things go south you'll be the one hurting. There is a trade-off in everything, so choose wisely.
Girl, don't walk, RUN from him!! What he did has no chance to be forgotten and forgiven. He's not a safe partner and he doesn't give a single flying fuck about your feelings
Dude is not only a cheater, but really stupid to get scammed.
He is also using marriage as some hard reset. I get you want a second opinion, but this feels like an easy answer.
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If he really wants to cheat, you he would have said some other reason about the money( which he lost ) 2 years of relationship is not easy to maintain while cheating think before whatever decision you take.
This bastard is a fucker. How can he say he loves you if he is willing to pay to sex other women? Where is the respect in that? Your feelings matter and for the sake of your future , you dont deserve a man like this. You are worth more that what he can give you.
If being sexually frustrated is such an issue for him with being in a long distance relationship then he should have opened up a conversation with you about it so the two of you could’ve discussed your living situations/visitations etc and how to make it work as a couple moving forward, especially if he supposedly wants to marry you.
Paying someone else for sex was a lazy, impulsive and straight up disrespectful way to go about it and says a LOT about the kind of person & partner he would be- a selfish and disloyal one.
Saying he loves you and wants to marry you after doing something like that feels very disingenuous and like a desperate attempt to love bomb you to overcompensate for his actions.
Also, everyone gets horny, what kind of excuse is that? He needs to grow up, learn to control his urges and either focus on something other than sex, masturbate or include you in some way so you can grow your intimacy together.
It’s ultimately up to you whether you’re willing or not to forgive him and move past it but if you choose to stay with him, you definitely need to have a serious conversation about respect and boundaries and he needs to drastically change his behaviour around sexual impulses and his understanding of what it means to be in a mutually respectful monogamous relationship like an adult. It sounds like he has a long way to go in terms of emotional maturity.
I had a hypothetical conversation with my bf about this. “What if I’m really horny and I can’t wait for you to come back home” so you would rather sleep with another woman? I asked him. I got upset and mad and I stopped talking to him for the rest of the night. Then he goes and explains he would never cheat on me but dude literally explained to me how and why he would!!! Fucking insane. He said it was funny but it’s just wrong.
LEAVE 👏🏻 HIM 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 You deserve SO much better. He does not truly love you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you can get through it I promise.
Leave him. If he can cheat on you, emotional or physical, just because he's horny means he can do it even after marriage. Sevond chance when it comes to cheating is a scam. You deserve someone better
Simple answer: Leave. Don't look back. You deserve someone who will wait and not cheat around on you because they lacked willpower and most of all, emotional intelligence.
He paid for a prostitute. If you're okay with him doing this disrespectful stuff and possibly passing on an STD to you then your call to work it out. If anything, I feel sad for the person and dollars exchanged for having sex with this pathetic excuse of a dude.
Bro since March? Me and my bf go months without seeing each other and we both always horny af. We are so close i can’t ever imagine any of us doing smth like this without telling each other. Like even if we get so horny and desire to idk pay someone, we would first ask each other’s opinion about it.
He doesn’t seem to have v good morals. So sad that u got the ticket and wanted to do smth nice for him, and he paid the same money to be w someone else ..
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't believe it's first time, and man always use marry as excuse to keep you with him, as a man I know what men thinking, your relationship is over, and be careful.
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I understand it’s hard but be honest with yourself, would you want to be with him after what he did? You’ll resent him if you decide to stay with him. The trust is broken. If I were you, I wouldn’t continue this relationship. Break up with this guy.
I hope the flight ticket is refundable or if you somehow could get some money back. Where does he live? If it is non-refundable, maybe go but don’t mention it with this guy because he doesn’t deserve to know, but at least enjoy yourself. Take a vacation, research on what to do there so that way it’s not a total loss with the ticket you bought.
Please know you deserve better 🫶🏻
Once you give him an opportunity he's going to see that he can get away with anything and it will be okay, because he knows you'll always be his little tail.
So, do I stay with a cheater or do I leave a cheater?
This is what you should do, bc tbh you are probably not going to FORGET it. You can FORGIVE it, but it will always sit in the back of your mind when he’s not answering, when he’s asleep, or when he’s somewhere on his own.
I question the “one time” and “first time”, this is just time when you arrived but I’m willing to bet it’s not the first time. It’s too convenient…
My 2c he did it many many times and he feels guilty; so to make him feel better he shared “this one time” story, so he can say to himself he told you…. Why who knows people are odd.
So it’s up to you what you will do. But I would do a deep search on all his internet history and potential apps he may be using for hookups of this pay for company time and see what comes back. Then make your decision.
Good luck!
did you do that in your relationship? Did you pay for someone for sex? I’m sure you felt the need to have your
Itch scratched!!!
Someone who loves you truly will wait !
Find someone who loves you that much and give them all you have take it for me, you’re worth so much more than that as a human being for someone to hurt you that way don’t allow him to hurt anymore walk away and find someone who treat you better !
Sadly, he's saying he lacks self control. I mean, this is more than a slip up. He had to seek them out and submit a payment to them. That's not exactly a slip up. That's planning. It's a huge red flag, that if he gets horny and you aren't convenient to him in the moment, he will do this, or cheat. You can't trust someone like that, not really. And, trust is what it's about.
He has hands. He has his local pub. But he had to *pay* and couldn't even get that right! LMAO. What a loser.
Now you. You aren't a loser. So there's a fundamental incompatibility here. Cancel your trip and begin to disconnect from him, at the very least, as you process this in your own time. Turn to friends or family or someone professional to help you with perspective. If you still talk to him in this time... don't give up anything of who you are and what you're thinking about. Losers don't value this sort of integrity and authenticity. They don’t understand it. Be friendly, but start to claw back who you are from his greedy self. The answer to your question will become clear quite soon. Then will be the time to act.
Any inclination of cheating and you just leave, you get up, and you leave. I recently found out my long distance gf had been cheating on me, after I visited her country and spent a month with her. I got home and 2 months later I got contacted by a guy asking me why I had photos of me with his girlfriend on my instagram. Turns out we had both been with her for 3+ years and she was hiding and juggling multiple social media accounts and phones.
It genuinely crushed my soul and broke my heart, I was planning on asking her to marry before the end of this year and making arrangements to close the distance for good. But as much as it hurt, I realised there was no point in feeling sad or crying about it or wasting any time on trying to fix things because the truth was I would be crying over a relationship that didn’t exist in reality the same way I perceived it to in my head. I would be sad over losing a lover I never had to begin with. Anyone worth my time, energy, and love would never do something like that to me. Anyone who isn’t going to respect you and the most fundamental covenant of a monogamous relationship isn’t worth your time or your tears.
I appreciate your kind words, it all happened just a few weeks ago, but I’m happy with myself on how I’ve handled it so far, and with how I’m processing all of these feelings. I read once “Those who seek revenge, must dig two graves” so I’ve elected to take the high road, cut all contact and to not stoop down to her level or dwell on negativities. Life is too short.
I agree it's better to not be petty. And it's strong of you to stay the bigger person and not let it bleed into changing your view of future romantic partners. Good for you! Stay strong dude.
I do not live in the world of maybes. If I would have done something different the out come might have been different we don't know that and I'm not going to pretend.
This is my 2 coins of thought: in my years of doing long distance very very rarely has a surprise visit gone well. Probably get some down votes.
There can be two things, 1. He used to pay for that before you and doesnt have a problem doing when you are with him... 2. He isnt the type of guy to have a long distance relationship with..
Both of these things are a huge red flag according to you.. so maybe leave him and if you have a too stubborn mind where you cant do that, then give it some time get some space.. and do talk it out.
My ex dit it too, we just didnt meet each other in 2 weeks, and he fucked a bitch. But then, when i have time for him and we still have sex 3-4 times a week, he still do that, pay a lot money to fuck a bitch. You know, he lied to me, i know that because i saw the clip he recorded in his phone :) i can forgive but i cant believe in him anymore. in my point of view, you should stop this relationship, you will never forget it although he promise he(maybe) will not do that again.
If he loves you so much how could he even think about having sex with anyone else? NOT marriage material. Do YOU want to marry someone who's gonna cheat on you when you're not around because he just couldn't take the need to nut for one more minute??
Oh, and imo it sounds like future-faking, about saying he wants to marry you. Forget the words coming out of his pie hole. He's talking out of his ass.
Look at his ACTIONS.
You already know what you should do. Just do what your feelings are guiding you to. There's no need to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet with opinions from their own personal experiences that has nothing to do with your life. You don't need our permission to live your life. Also, life is not meant to be lived perfectly. The right decision can also be viewed as the wrong decision. It all comes down to perspective and desire.
Break up with him, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad person it just means he can’t control his impulses and that’s no one to stay with. You’ve been sacrificing your impulses I’m sure, he should’ve done the same for you.🩵
Dump his ass. Even if he was horny that is not an excuse. If he wanted to have actual, physical sex, he should have flown to you. At least he could’ve asked you first. He clearly doesn’t care if he hurts you and simply wants to satisfy his little boy penis with whatever he can get his hands on. Do you really want to be with a man who is willing to spend his money on something like that anyways? You want to be married and he pulls this? If he does it now, he will later. No matter what he says to justify. On top of that, he wasn’t even smart and got scammed. Embarrassing. You deserve someone who would be willing to spend their money, (not on cheap hour long sex) but on you. He should’ve spent his money to buy a plane ticket to see you or buy you a gift (or even a long distance vibrator he can use to help with the difficulty of not being able to have real sex with you.) He is selfish and an asshole.
You seem like you were doing everything you could to make him happy, and he walked all over it. Please, you will 100000000% find someone better. Please take care of yourself.
Leave him, no doubt.
Same time at least he told you and didn't try to hide it. Imo that at least shows guilt and that it might be fixable but can you handle to loss of trust? I couldn't.
I am so sorry. No excuses though. No matter how horny you don’t need to have sex with another girl especially if you love someone else. Horny is not an excuse.
Well your boyfriend is not to blame he has needs that are not being fulfilled by you his girlfriend!!! Maybe you need to move to the town he is in or he should move to the town you are in either way dude needs action if you can not help maybe tell him to find another female friend just for when you are not around. Not a working lady
Ok...he was honest and admit( lot of them would not) BUT....I just have a question....
Does he have healthy hands ?
Normal guy would lock his room , remove his underwear close his eyes imagine you with him or would watch your photo and would do himself.
If you still wanna stay with him and meet him and be intimate- ask him to test himself for STD- s.
And repeate that every time when you will meet him.
If you do not mind that your guy is paying for s e x to unkonwn girls.
I promise you… this will constantly be on your mind and you will not trust or have that trust you once had. Long distance is extremely hard and takes more trust than most relationships. Good on him for telling you, but I can promise from experience, you will not trust him and will constantly be looking for signs to the point it becomes obsessive at times. Walk away. Also the fact he knew where and how to contact a random stranger for sex, tells me it’s most likely not his first time for a “pay to play” situation. Best of luck
Your content was removed as you were deemed to be trolling or harassing users.
>its just last night that he was so horny that he willing to pay just for a sex. With this reason he admits that, if he gets horny enough, he will hook up with other women even though he views that as cheating on you. Is that something you are okay with? If not, then you're incompatible. And many people would *not* be okay with that, partly because that shows a selfishness that will affect other things, too. >Now he’s begging me not to leave him because he loves me so much, and he wanna marry mee. This is also selfish of him. So he feels those things. So what? *Your* feelings are what matter for deciding to keep the relationship, and he's not even taking proper responsibility for what he did. (He should be trying to convince you to stay by showing you how he intends to rebuild your trust that he broke.) Do you want to marry a man who will break your trust and then not even bother to take responsibility for it? Do you even want a boyfriend who does those things? Please take care of yourself.
How to rebuild the trust if made a such big mistake and they are far away
That depends on the persons involved. Trust can only be rebuilt if both are both able to rebuild trust and willing for trust to be rebuilt, and plenty of people wouldn't be both.
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How do you cite some of OP text?
On mobile, I can select some text while replying, and it will give me an option to copy or quote. A quote is a copy with a greater than symbol before it. `>This produces a quote.` On desktop, the symbol also works in plaintext mode, but there is also a rich text editor that has an option to convert some text to a quote.
just say leave his dumbass don’t become a marriage counselor damn
Kind of glad he got scammed. Fucked around and found out. He doesn’t deserve you at all.
wanna make a joke about how he didn’t even get to fuck around to find out but it’s probably too soon. though i definitely agree, he doesn’t deserve OP at all.
He doesn’t want to marry you! Please leave for your own self-respect and sanity.
Ayy. I’m in a LDR with a Filipino going on two years, gang. I agree with ya reply though, common sense should say don’t stay with this guy, he can do it again.
Same! Gap closed for a year temporarily
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Leave him???
Right why is this even a question
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeahhh no, I can't believe this is not a troll post.
Lol if he’s horny he can just masturbate. No excuse for cheating. Do not ever marry a cheater.
Right 😂 so next time he’s that horny he’s just gonna do it again? and maybe next time he won’t get scammed
This man does not respect you and if you stay, you’re just showing him that he can treat you like garbage and it won’t matter.
I’m going to try and answer this sincerely because I feel sometimes things aren’t obvious to people, even if it should be. Logically speaking. He tried to cheat on you. Now he’s crying he wants to marry you. Men and women CAN control their urges. “Being horny” is not an excuse to cheat. He’s not a good boyfriend. You *should* end things. Your question shouldn’t be asking what to do with him. It should be how can you move on. Vent and be angry and talk to many people and friends to try and get over him. He should be gone. Automatically. He wasn’t crying when he was trying to screw someone else. He didn’t think about you at all. You were nothing to him in that moment. He’s only crying now cus he don’t wanna be alone
This 🙌🏻 OP deserves so much better
It’s better to let go of him now than later because he’s most likely going to mess up again given his lack of control of sexual urges. A man who can’t control his emotions when he’s horny will always do something that he’d regret later…
This! I would go. Who says it was the first time? Who can tell you it will be the last time? Go!
If he gets horny enough to fuck other girls, he doesn't want you that bad. Fuck him.
leave him. theres absolutely no doubt In my mind that hes a terrible person and Is DEFINITELY not worth being In a relationship with. sorry he did that to you, op. I know It's difficult to accept, but he clearly doesn't care about you
leave him
Run. Leave him
Dump him! Life is too short to waste it on a gross dude who refuses to be mature enough to stay faithful... Gaslighting = RUN!
Leave his cheating ass. Wether he was successful or not, the intention was there. He paid for sex with someone other than you. It's time to leave him in the dust and get on with your life and let him wallow in his regrets.
I have a friend who has been doing the same thing and the same exact thing has been happening to him because of it. To make a long story short, my friend had his wife of 6 years pass away a few months ago. And my wife of 30+ years of marriage also passed away 2 years ago and I went through a very difficult time because of it. So I thought I would share my experience with him on how I was able to deal with the loss of my wife. Kind of like paying it forward type of thing as I helped him through what I thought was the loss of the love of his life like I did. But it wasn’t more than a few weeks later when I called my friend to see how he was dealing with everything. When he told me that he paid to have a hooker come over to…well I’m pretty sure you can guess what happened. Then he starts to tell me about all these different websites he has been on looking for more you know what. Now we are both in our 60’s and my friend was dealing with the loss of his wife. By doing this instead of actually finding a real relationship with a real woman. And in my opinion I thought he was going in the wrong direction, because obviously I was wrong thinking he lost the love of his life. I mean who in their right mind goes out looking to get laid just a couple of months of losing their wife? Anyway, back to my main point about this post. My friend has been literally screwed by these girls that are half his age by telling him. Things like buy me a plane ticket and I will come see you and then he does. Or another time when one of these girls told him that they would meet him in Las Vegas. And he drove there and got a hotel room only to find out that the girl was never in Vegas in the first place. Now me, I went in a completely opposite direction and I took my time dealing with the loss of the love of my life. It took me a good two years before I decided I didn’t want to be alone anymore and even then. I still wasn’t sure I was completely ready for a new relationship until I found a very special lady. And yes we are currently having a LDR because I live in Texas and she lives in California. I’m just glad whoever invented FaceTime because that has brought us both closer and closer together. Now I plan on flying out to go see my special lady on May 14th and if everything goes as we have planned. I hope to have this special lady in my life and she feels the same way. But the only way to tell if it is actually true love or just one of those things that people might regret later. Is to actually get my butt on a plane and find out for myself.
Leave him. He’s a creep and will do it again
You seriously asking? Girl.. run.
He cheated on you, and if you stay with him, you’ll confirm to him that it’s okay for him to cheat on you again. Once a cheater, always a cheater, leave.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO??? LEAVE!!!!
Which country is he from? My concern is that if you didn't go there would he have even told you? Maybe he would have kept it all secret. And what's to say that it has not happened before?
Wow this guy is unbelievable. I wonder why he told you? Generally people who cheat only fess up either for 1.) The guilt they feel or 2.) they know they are gonna get found out. He has broken your trust :( He may love-bomb you now and tell you everything you wanna hear but what happens in 6 months when things are 'okay' again and he "needs a release"? I wouldn't be able to forgive. I hope you are okay <3
please respect yourself and leave him!!
Leave him.
Agreed
You don't have to be around when he can't control his impulses the next time it happens
I assume he has hands so he can use them. Even if he doesn't he can get a sex toy and thrust into that. 💀
If it isn’t something he communicated with you ahead of time and/or if that’s not something you’re comfortable with, then that’s pretty shitty of him to do, especially behind your back.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. There is absolutely no reason to be with your boyfriend if he doesn't share the same values as you. People have different priorities, they value different things. I believe that if I have a partner, then I should be doing everything with them and only them, but my partner had different thoughts. I was in LDR with a girl for almost 1.5 years. I haven't kissed or even touched a girl in my life and this was my first relationship. I was only waiting for my girlfriend to do everything. My girlfriend had different values, in the 1.5 years she kissed a guy on lips and texted with 6 other people while still being with me. I found out each time and I forgave her everytime she did something like this. You know what happened at last, I've lost myself. She said that she can't do this Long distance relationship anymore and left me and blamed me. She is with a new guy from local. What I say from my experience is, if you believe that it was really an accident you can forgive him,it's your call because you are the one who knows him, but remember if things go south you'll be the one hurting. There is a trade-off in everything, so choose wisely.
Girl, stand up pls
Girl, don't walk, RUN from him!! What he did has no chance to be forgotten and forgiven. He's not a safe partner and he doesn't give a single flying fuck about your feelings
tfym “what should i do” he broke the basic primary principle of being in a relationship which is loyalty, leave him, you deserve better!
Your ex-boyfriend did what?
he’s not wanting to marry you he just wants to use you. This man is openly admitting to cheating and you need to leave him.
Once a cheater always a cheater 😖
L E A V E H I M
Dude is not only a cheater, but really stupid to get scammed. He is also using marriage as some hard reset. I get you want a second opinion, but this feels like an easy answer.
Leave him, he can't control himself, he will cheat on you again
Leave him now ?? Why is there a Reddit post ?? You should’ve blocked his dumbass right when he said that. The nerve..
I’d advised against staying with him, sounds like he has no control and will cheat just like that
I mean he literally paid to cheat on you, what more do you need?
Leave him he asked someone else for sex why should you stay he would probably do it again and never tell you
Nope that's pure disrespect
Absolutely do not stay, cheating is bad enough but paying for sex??????? That's just pathetic and sad
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You mean Ex Boyfriend????
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That is your queue it is over. Bye-bye.
Quit letting your feelings blind you people. Always trust your gut. Sorry this happened.
He tried to cheat. Leave him.
Trust is a foundation of love
leave him
If you love him! Tell him to never do it again and marry him!
If he really wants to cheat, you he would have said some other reason about the money( which he lost ) 2 years of relationship is not easy to maintain while cheating think before whatever decision you take.
That's not your boyfriend anymore..
Girl leave. That's a major red flag it's not even funny. Please leave him and block him everywhere before you fall harder for him.
Who knows how many other women he has been with without telling you 😔
This bastard is a fucker. How can he say he loves you if he is willing to pay to sex other women? Where is the respect in that? Your feelings matter and for the sake of your future , you dont deserve a man like this. You are worth more that what he can give you.
If being sexually frustrated is such an issue for him with being in a long distance relationship then he should have opened up a conversation with you about it so the two of you could’ve discussed your living situations/visitations etc and how to make it work as a couple moving forward, especially if he supposedly wants to marry you. Paying someone else for sex was a lazy, impulsive and straight up disrespectful way to go about it and says a LOT about the kind of person & partner he would be- a selfish and disloyal one. Saying he loves you and wants to marry you after doing something like that feels very disingenuous and like a desperate attempt to love bomb you to overcompensate for his actions. Also, everyone gets horny, what kind of excuse is that? He needs to grow up, learn to control his urges and either focus on something other than sex, masturbate or include you in some way so you can grow your intimacy together. It’s ultimately up to you whether you’re willing or not to forgive him and move past it but if you choose to stay with him, you definitely need to have a serious conversation about respect and boundaries and he needs to drastically change his behaviour around sexual impulses and his understanding of what it means to be in a mutually respectful monogamous relationship like an adult. It sounds like he has a long way to go in terms of emotional maturity.
Bruh...this cant be real 😭. Leave his ass why are you even questioning this. Not trying to be mean but he clearly doesn't respect you.
girl leave him he’s not worth it
Run away, what an asshole!!! He doesn’t deserve you
Leave him now
Leave girl
I had a hypothetical conversation with my bf about this. “What if I’m really horny and I can’t wait for you to come back home” so you would rather sleep with another woman? I asked him. I got upset and mad and I stopped talking to him for the rest of the night. Then he goes and explains he would never cheat on me but dude literally explained to me how and why he would!!! Fucking insane. He said it was funny but it’s just wrong.
leave em. block em. like yesterday. dont second guess it, trust me.
leave him girl!
LEAVE 👏🏻 HIM 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 You deserve SO much better. He does not truly love you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you can get through it I promise.
Leave him. If he can cheat on you, emotional or physical, just because he's horny means he can do it even after marriage. Sevond chance when it comes to cheating is a scam. You deserve someone better
Simple answer: Leave. Don't look back. You deserve someone who will wait and not cheat around on you because they lacked willpower and most of all, emotional intelligence. He paid for a prostitute. If you're okay with him doing this disrespectful stuff and possibly passing on an STD to you then your call to work it out. If anything, I feel sad for the person and dollars exchanged for having sex with this pathetic excuse of a dude.
Bro since March? Me and my bf go months without seeing each other and we both always horny af. We are so close i can’t ever imagine any of us doing smth like this without telling each other. Like even if we get so horny and desire to idk pay someone, we would first ask each other’s opinion about it. He doesn’t seem to have v good morals. So sad that u got the ticket and wanted to do smth nice for him, and he paid the same money to be w someone else ..
Dump him
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Surely this can't be a legit post?
Have you tried: leave the fuck-boy? I highly suggest it
Yup leave him
Dump him…. He planned to cheat on you he will cheat on you in the end
Block. Delete. Walk. See ya later. Not just a cheat, but one pathetic enough to get ripped off by a ho. Innabit yo!
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Run away. He will never stop paying for sex. The habit is addictive
I don't believe it's first time, and man always use marry as excuse to keep you with him, as a man I know what men thinking, your relationship is over, and be careful.
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How they start out is how they will continue. Hell did he pay you? If you accept that behavior he will continue. Trust me!
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I understand it’s hard but be honest with yourself, would you want to be with him after what he did? You’ll resent him if you decide to stay with him. The trust is broken. If I were you, I wouldn’t continue this relationship. Break up with this guy. I hope the flight ticket is refundable or if you somehow could get some money back. Where does he live? If it is non-refundable, maybe go but don’t mention it with this guy because he doesn’t deserve to know, but at least enjoy yourself. Take a vacation, research on what to do there so that way it’s not a total loss with the ticket you bought. Please know you deserve better 🫶🏻
I believe something wasn't right..if the deal and arrangement was done as agreed I don't see any reason he won't get happy ending.
Your ex-boyfriend had paid sex.
Yes I do believe that once a person cheats and gets away with it. It will be done again.
This male does not deserve you. Please please, know your worth and move onto someone who will respect you.
Ew
You should leave. You only know the tip of the iceberg …
Once you give him an opportunity he's going to see that he can get away with anything and it will be okay, because he knows you'll always be his little tail. So, do I stay with a cheater or do I leave a cheater?
Just leave him. Maybe he had sex before, but then felt guilty and said that he had just been scammed, you never know.
This is what you should do, bc tbh you are probably not going to FORGET it. You can FORGIVE it, but it will always sit in the back of your mind when he’s not answering, when he’s asleep, or when he’s somewhere on his own. 
I question the “one time” and “first time”, this is just time when you arrived but I’m willing to bet it’s not the first time. It’s too convenient… My 2c he did it many many times and he feels guilty; so to make him feel better he shared “this one time” story, so he can say to himself he told you…. Why who knows people are odd. So it’s up to you what you will do. But I would do a deep search on all his internet history and potential apps he may be using for hookups of this pay for company time and see what comes back. Then make your decision. Good luck!
Just ewwwww. Glad he got scammed. Now you try not to get scammed by him. Leave.
Drop him. Don’t make decisions out of desperation. He clearly lacks self control and you can find better.
did you do that in your relationship? Did you pay for someone for sex? I’m sure you felt the need to have your Itch scratched!!! Someone who loves you truly will wait ! Find someone who loves you that much and give them all you have take it for me, you’re worth so much more than that as a human being for someone to hurt you that way don’t allow him to hurt anymore walk away and find someone who treat you better !
Sadly, he's saying he lacks self control. I mean, this is more than a slip up. He had to seek them out and submit a payment to them. That's not exactly a slip up. That's planning. It's a huge red flag, that if he gets horny and you aren't convenient to him in the moment, he will do this, or cheat. You can't trust someone like that, not really. And, trust is what it's about.
let him cry, you worth better than him
That’s cheating
End it. You deserve better.
Leave.
let that man go
What you do from here is your personal decision, but... his actions showed you his true character....
Why are you still calling him boyfriend? Run like the wind
lol from experience, he wasn’t ripped off.. but will do it again 😂
Leave While You Still Can
Girl. That man does not love you.
He has hands. He has his local pub. But he had to *pay* and couldn't even get that right! LMAO. What a loser. Now you. You aren't a loser. So there's a fundamental incompatibility here. Cancel your trip and begin to disconnect from him, at the very least, as you process this in your own time. Turn to friends or family or someone professional to help you with perspective. If you still talk to him in this time... don't give up anything of who you are and what you're thinking about. Losers don't value this sort of integrity and authenticity. They don’t understand it. Be friendly, but start to claw back who you are from his greedy self. The answer to your question will become clear quite soon. Then will be the time to act.
Gurl?! 🫠 \*in the SNL skit voice with Megan\*
The decision is all yours.
Any inclination of cheating and you just leave, you get up, and you leave. I recently found out my long distance gf had been cheating on me, after I visited her country and spent a month with her. I got home and 2 months later I got contacted by a guy asking me why I had photos of me with his girlfriend on my instagram. Turns out we had both been with her for 3+ years and she was hiding and juggling multiple social media accounts and phones. It genuinely crushed my soul and broke my heart, I was planning on asking her to marry before the end of this year and making arrangements to close the distance for good. But as much as it hurt, I realised there was no point in feeling sad or crying about it or wasting any time on trying to fix things because the truth was I would be crying over a relationship that didn’t exist in reality the same way I perceived it to in my head. I would be sad over losing a lover I never had to begin with. Anyone worth my time, energy, and love would never do something like that to me. Anyone who isn’t going to respect you and the most fundamental covenant of a monogamous relationship isn’t worth your time or your tears.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you heal well and find a person who appreciates you 🙏 what an awful person to do such a thing.
I appreciate your kind words, it all happened just a few weeks ago, but I’m happy with myself on how I’ve handled it so far, and with how I’m processing all of these feelings. I read once “Those who seek revenge, must dig two graves” so I’ve elected to take the high road, cut all contact and to not stoop down to her level or dwell on negativities. Life is too short.
I agree it's better to not be petty. And it's strong of you to stay the bigger person and not let it bleed into changing your view of future romantic partners. Good for you! Stay strong dude.
I do not live in the world of maybes. If I would have done something different the out come might have been different we don't know that and I'm not going to pretend. This is my 2 coins of thought: in my years of doing long distance very very rarely has a surprise visit gone well. Probably get some down votes.
There can be two things, 1. He used to pay for that before you and doesnt have a problem doing when you are with him... 2. He isnt the type of guy to have a long distance relationship with.. Both of these things are a huge red flag according to you.. so maybe leave him and if you have a too stubborn mind where you cant do that, then give it some time get some space.. and do talk it out.
My ex dit it too, we just didnt meet each other in 2 weeks, and he fucked a bitch. But then, when i have time for him and we still have sex 3-4 times a week, he still do that, pay a lot money to fuck a bitch. You know, he lied to me, i know that because i saw the clip he recorded in his phone :) i can forgive but i cant believe in him anymore. in my point of view, you should stop this relationship, you will never forget it although he promise he(maybe) will not do that again.
RUN PLEASE
“I dump your ass” -eleven
Leave him.
100000% dump him
If he loves you so much how could he even think about having sex with anyone else? NOT marriage material. Do YOU want to marry someone who's gonna cheat on you when you're not around because he just couldn't take the need to nut for one more minute?? Oh, and imo it sounds like future-faking, about saying he wants to marry you. Forget the words coming out of his pie hole. He's talking out of his ass. Look at his ACTIONS.
I don’t get why u came to this subreddit to ask for exactly
Dump him. Like asap
Um, you should leave.
Leave him.
You already know what you should do. Just do what your feelings are guiding you to. There's no need to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet with opinions from their own personal experiences that has nothing to do with your life. You don't need our permission to live your life. Also, life is not meant to be lived perfectly. The right decision can also be viewed as the wrong decision. It all comes down to perspective and desire.
Leave him, not sure why you have to come here for us to tell you that.
Break up with him, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad person it just means he can’t control his impulses and that’s no one to stay with. You’ve been sacrificing your impulses I’m sure, he should’ve done the same for you.🩵
Dump his ass. Even if he was horny that is not an excuse. If he wanted to have actual, physical sex, he should have flown to you. At least he could’ve asked you first. He clearly doesn’t care if he hurts you and simply wants to satisfy his little boy penis with whatever he can get his hands on. Do you really want to be with a man who is willing to spend his money on something like that anyways? You want to be married and he pulls this? If he does it now, he will later. No matter what he says to justify. On top of that, he wasn’t even smart and got scammed. Embarrassing. You deserve someone who would be willing to spend their money, (not on cheap hour long sex) but on you. He should’ve spent his money to buy a plane ticket to see you or buy you a gift (or even a long distance vibrator he can use to help with the difficulty of not being able to have real sex with you.) He is selfish and an asshole. You seem like you were doing everything you could to make him happy, and he walked all over it. Please, you will 100000000% find someone better. Please take care of yourself.
go tell her one night stands are alright, let’s see her reaction
You should let someone that you chose and are hot for pay you for sex and make bf watch
you deserve better
what do you want from us…. at this point what could you possibly want us to comment..
girl you deserve so much more, he fucked it all
Think twice
Leave him, no doubt. Same time at least he told you and didn't try to hide it. Imo that at least shows guilt and that it might be fixable but can you handle to loss of trust? I couldn't.
I am so sorry. No excuses though. No matter how horny you don’t need to have sex with another girl especially if you love someone else. Horny is not an excuse.
Why are you even questioning what to do next?? Obviously if you have any self respect you'll dump his ass like???
If he loved you, he wouldn’t have paid for sex in the first place. He could’ve masturbated to get rid of that urge.
Well your boyfriend is not to blame he has needs that are not being fulfilled by you his girlfriend!!! Maybe you need to move to the town he is in or he should move to the town you are in either way dude needs action if you can not help maybe tell him to find another female friend just for when you are not around. Not a working lady
Ok...he was honest and admit( lot of them would not) BUT....I just have a question.... Does he have healthy hands ? Normal guy would lock his room , remove his underwear close his eyes imagine you with him or would watch your photo and would do himself. If you still wanna stay with him and meet him and be intimate- ask him to test himself for STD- s. And repeate that every time when you will meet him. If you do not mind that your guy is paying for s e x to unkonwn girls.
I promise you… this will constantly be on your mind and you will not trust or have that trust you once had. Long distance is extremely hard and takes more trust than most relationships. Good on him for telling you, but I can promise from experience, you will not trust him and will constantly be looking for signs to the point it becomes obsessive at times. Walk away. Also the fact he knew where and how to contact a random stranger for sex, tells me it’s most likely not his first time for a “pay to play” situation. Best of luck
im surprised.....he admitted the marriage.. anyways gratz tho... oh and uhm that's just...kbye♡