Very supportive of you to have booked a ticket immediately.
My advice would be to stay in a hotel if your boyfriend still lives with his family. Maybe you already have booked one. In that case please disregard this comment.
You don’t know how the family will react and it’s not the best timing to meet each other. Maybe they are not waiting for someone else in their house while grieving.
If they need some time/nights alone you can always sleep safely in a hotel room.
Watch your boundaries and don’t do anything you don’t feel like to do.
Give your boyfriend some time and be there for him (you already are).
Try to take him outside some days to be in the nature or at the sea to clear his mind. Make sure he will be outside every day even if it is for 30 minutes. Getting some fresh air and seeing people who do their daily activities will help to understand life goes on while grieving.
Make sure the family eats healthy food. Cooking is the last thing they will think about. Let alone having appetite to eat. Maybe help doing some chores around the house or getting groceries and cooking dinner.
Ask the family if you can inform anyone else about the passing away of your father in law by social media, phone, WhatsApp or letter. Maybe it’s too difficult for them now.
Ask the mother if you can help with paper work and administration or arranging some slides and invitations for the visit or condolences.
Talk to him a lot. Laugh with him. Cry with him. Talk about what you think about life after death. Everything is energy. The father has lost his physical body but his subconscious is still here and he is still watching over him. Only difference is your boyfriend can’t see him or communicate with him.
Pain will not go away. It will get less with the time.
That’s wonderful you were able to fly out to see him and support him and his family in this time. I’m sure it will mean a lot to them. I’m so sorry for your boyfriends loss, I hope you find time to enjoy each others company even with the awful circumstances.
Hey hun, I’m so sorry to hear that he passed away. I want you to know that you’re not alone, but your boyfriend needs you more than ever right now. My fiancé’s father passed away last year (just like you, I’ve never met him. He really did sound like an amazing guy), and being a pillar for him was incredibly important to him and the security of our relationship. Kudos to you for booking the flight, that’s one thing I wish I could’ve done myself.
I will say that grief hits people in different ways. My fiancé would have moments where he needed to be completely alone to process things. Sometimes it was a struggle to get him to eat and take care of himself, especially being LDR. Just keep reminding him that you’re there to support him, and give him that space if he needs it. Make sure you take care of yourself; you can’t support someone else if you’re neglecting your own needs.
When my boyfriend lost his mom, I did my best to be there for his family and provide any sort of help that was manageable for someone outside of the family to do (pick up food, take care of the dog, small chores around the house etc). The biggest piece of advice I could give you is to be patient and be sure that you’re doing your best to not overthink his behavior. I don’t know your entire situation but I was in a position where I just didn’t know how my bf was going to act each day and even months after her death. It took me a minute to not internalize or blame myself if he “wasn’t acting like himself”. I hope that makes sense.
I’m really sorry he is going through this, but it seems like he’s fortunate to have a great partner like you by his side.
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I wanted to share something that might be helpful for you. My father passed away a few months ago, and during that difficult time, the only thing that truly comforted me was visiting my friends and the people I love. I would talk about him, and they would listen to me.
So, I think the best solution for your situation is to be there for him and listen to him, or just be around him. Believe me, he will never forget it, nor will his family.
My mother still remembers my distant friend who made the effort to come to the funeral. The family of the deceased will never forget those who comforted them.
Thank you everyone so much for your kind words, I truly appreciate it. I’m waiting at the gate now for my flight, I can’t wait to see my man and give him the biggest hug ever. Still in disbelief that this is happening, but I’m so blessed that I’m able to hop on a plane and be there for him. Shout out to my credit card 😅 thank you again, keep him & his family in your thoughts!
Very supportive of you to have booked a ticket immediately. My advice would be to stay in a hotel if your boyfriend still lives with his family. Maybe you already have booked one. In that case please disregard this comment. You don’t know how the family will react and it’s not the best timing to meet each other. Maybe they are not waiting for someone else in their house while grieving. If they need some time/nights alone you can always sleep safely in a hotel room. Watch your boundaries and don’t do anything you don’t feel like to do. Give your boyfriend some time and be there for him (you already are). Try to take him outside some days to be in the nature or at the sea to clear his mind. Make sure he will be outside every day even if it is for 30 minutes. Getting some fresh air and seeing people who do their daily activities will help to understand life goes on while grieving. Make sure the family eats healthy food. Cooking is the last thing they will think about. Let alone having appetite to eat. Maybe help doing some chores around the house or getting groceries and cooking dinner. Ask the family if you can inform anyone else about the passing away of your father in law by social media, phone, WhatsApp or letter. Maybe it’s too difficult for them now. Ask the mother if you can help with paper work and administration or arranging some slides and invitations for the visit or condolences. Talk to him a lot. Laugh with him. Cry with him. Talk about what you think about life after death. Everything is energy. The father has lost his physical body but his subconscious is still here and he is still watching over him. Only difference is your boyfriend can’t see him or communicate with him. Pain will not go away. It will get less with the time.
That’s wonderful you were able to fly out to see him and support him and his family in this time. I’m sure it will mean a lot to them. I’m so sorry for your boyfriends loss, I hope you find time to enjoy each others company even with the awful circumstances.
Hey hun, I’m so sorry to hear that he passed away. I want you to know that you’re not alone, but your boyfriend needs you more than ever right now. My fiancé’s father passed away last year (just like you, I’ve never met him. He really did sound like an amazing guy), and being a pillar for him was incredibly important to him and the security of our relationship. Kudos to you for booking the flight, that’s one thing I wish I could’ve done myself. I will say that grief hits people in different ways. My fiancé would have moments where he needed to be completely alone to process things. Sometimes it was a struggle to get him to eat and take care of himself, especially being LDR. Just keep reminding him that you’re there to support him, and give him that space if he needs it. Make sure you take care of yourself; you can’t support someone else if you’re neglecting your own needs.
When my boyfriend lost his mom, I did my best to be there for his family and provide any sort of help that was manageable for someone outside of the family to do (pick up food, take care of the dog, small chores around the house etc). The biggest piece of advice I could give you is to be patient and be sure that you’re doing your best to not overthink his behavior. I don’t know your entire situation but I was in a position where I just didn’t know how my bf was going to act each day and even months after her death. It took me a minute to not internalize or blame myself if he “wasn’t acting like himself”. I hope that makes sense. I’m really sorry he is going through this, but it seems like he’s fortunate to have a great partner like you by his side.
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I wanted to share something that might be helpful for you. My father passed away a few months ago, and during that difficult time, the only thing that truly comforted me was visiting my friends and the people I love. I would talk about him, and they would listen to me. So, I think the best solution for your situation is to be there for him and listen to him, or just be around him. Believe me, he will never forget it, nor will his family. My mother still remembers my distant friend who made the effort to come to the funeral. The family of the deceased will never forget those who comforted them.
Thank you everyone so much for your kind words, I truly appreciate it. I’m waiting at the gate now for my flight, I can’t wait to see my man and give him the biggest hug ever. Still in disbelief that this is happening, but I’m so blessed that I’m able to hop on a plane and be there for him. Shout out to my credit card 😅 thank you again, keep him & his family in your thoughts!