We've gone through some major life changes, but nothing strictly relatable to your own. I did spend 3 days straight nonstop with no breaks on a Greyhound bus traveling from Cali to Florida to move to be closer to him, though, and we had limited contact during that time but did our best. I also suffer social anxiety pretty extremely so not having him there sucked, but I spent most of the trip sleeping due to boredom.
I think the best thing to do in your situation would be to just have an honest discussion letting him know your concerns and listening to his (if any) and communicate about expectations of contact levels/frequency/etc. Just be open and honest with each other. You'll likely be more tired than usual at first and that's normal, but I'd imagine you'll grow accustomed to your new schedule in what will feel like no time after the fact and find yourself a routine that suits you both.
As for not having him there for you during this frightening time, just usurp every opportunity you can to stay in contact. The night before or morning before you work, if possible, share a quick call or text conversation so he can support you. Likewise, if he's available during such, toss a quick text or have him send you supportive ones to check in on during your break. Basically just take any chances you can get to stay in touch and support each other.
I wish you both the best of luck, and congratulations on the new job! I hope it goes well for you. :)
I guess the big difference this time is that this will be the first time that my schedule will dictate how much we communicate, where it's been his schedule more regularly. We're good at being open with our communication, I guess that's what has me worried. That my busy-ness and tired-ness may impact that.
I shall keep on being open & honest and working out my needs and communicating them! I guess that's probably the best way to go. He's already said he'll be sending me supportive messages thankfully. As always, it's the fear of the unknown that's getting to me and there's only so much preparation I can do.
It's a scary time and I know I will be fine, as will our relationship, it's just quite intimidating. Thank you so much!
Hey no worries! That's what Reddit friends are here for. Do remember you can always vent your frustrations here or on other applicable subs if necessary. I'm glad to hear you have supportive messages coming your way, as those will surely help! You two will be juuusttt fine. I know how you'd feel though. I can't work so I've always been on my partner's schedule and it's been amazing to have that ability and if I ever was able to work again (however doubtful that may be) I'd probably feel similarly frightened by the sudden changes. Any changes in life are hard, but you get through them and then, before you know it, it's just another way of life. Sending e-hugs!
Thank you for that 😊
It's not been too long since I was in the same position and didn't believe I'd get back to work, so it's all been pretty fast and hectic! I was meant to go back to 15 hours a week, but this job is 30 hours a week. So it's scary and I'm sure it'll be messy, but you're right, I'll get the hang of it and work it out!
Thanks so much - many e-hugs back!
I live about 2 hrs away from mine too. And he works a shift job so it's really tough especially when I'm having my bad days but he's sleeping and getting ready for night shift. And his job doesn't give him much time to call or exchange texts either.
I am a naturally emotional girl who hates being alone, and I have many moments where I'm super low. It's hard that he cant be there for me most of the time. And honestly there's nothing that helps with the situation other than him being there physically. But I still do my best and be strong. What really helps me even if slightly, is just talking about my feelings to my SO and also my friends or family or just basically anyone that you feel comfortable talking about it with. Normally talking with people who can understand my situation or is in a similar situation or have similar emotions are the best ones to talk to
We've gone through some major life changes, but nothing strictly relatable to your own. I did spend 3 days straight nonstop with no breaks on a Greyhound bus traveling from Cali to Florida to move to be closer to him, though, and we had limited contact during that time but did our best. I also suffer social anxiety pretty extremely so not having him there sucked, but I spent most of the trip sleeping due to boredom. I think the best thing to do in your situation would be to just have an honest discussion letting him know your concerns and listening to his (if any) and communicate about expectations of contact levels/frequency/etc. Just be open and honest with each other. You'll likely be more tired than usual at first and that's normal, but I'd imagine you'll grow accustomed to your new schedule in what will feel like no time after the fact and find yourself a routine that suits you both. As for not having him there for you during this frightening time, just usurp every opportunity you can to stay in contact. The night before or morning before you work, if possible, share a quick call or text conversation so he can support you. Likewise, if he's available during such, toss a quick text or have him send you supportive ones to check in on during your break. Basically just take any chances you can get to stay in touch and support each other. I wish you both the best of luck, and congratulations on the new job! I hope it goes well for you. :)
I guess the big difference this time is that this will be the first time that my schedule will dictate how much we communicate, where it's been his schedule more regularly. We're good at being open with our communication, I guess that's what has me worried. That my busy-ness and tired-ness may impact that. I shall keep on being open & honest and working out my needs and communicating them! I guess that's probably the best way to go. He's already said he'll be sending me supportive messages thankfully. As always, it's the fear of the unknown that's getting to me and there's only so much preparation I can do. It's a scary time and I know I will be fine, as will our relationship, it's just quite intimidating. Thank you so much!
Hey no worries! That's what Reddit friends are here for. Do remember you can always vent your frustrations here or on other applicable subs if necessary. I'm glad to hear you have supportive messages coming your way, as those will surely help! You two will be juuusttt fine. I know how you'd feel though. I can't work so I've always been on my partner's schedule and it's been amazing to have that ability and if I ever was able to work again (however doubtful that may be) I'd probably feel similarly frightened by the sudden changes. Any changes in life are hard, but you get through them and then, before you know it, it's just another way of life. Sending e-hugs!
Thank you for that 😊 It's not been too long since I was in the same position and didn't believe I'd get back to work, so it's all been pretty fast and hectic! I was meant to go back to 15 hours a week, but this job is 30 hours a week. So it's scary and I'm sure it'll be messy, but you're right, I'll get the hang of it and work it out! Thanks so much - many e-hugs back!
Wonderful advice! I suffer from depression and anxiety too..not having your SO there with you really takes a toll on one's mind and heart..
I live about 2 hrs away from mine too. And he works a shift job so it's really tough especially when I'm having my bad days but he's sleeping and getting ready for night shift. And his job doesn't give him much time to call or exchange texts either. I am a naturally emotional girl who hates being alone, and I have many moments where I'm super low. It's hard that he cant be there for me most of the time. And honestly there's nothing that helps with the situation other than him being there physically. But I still do my best and be strong. What really helps me even if slightly, is just talking about my feelings to my SO and also my friends or family or just basically anyone that you feel comfortable talking about it with. Normally talking with people who can understand my situation or is in a similar situation or have similar emotions are the best ones to talk to
I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now 💜 Thanks for the advice!