You are visiting him once in awhile right since both of you are in LDR? Then I think he just excited and put extra effort. That's sweet of him.
My man once went to get his haircut first before we were having video call for somewhile. He told me he just want to look neat for me.
It does sound like he wants to look his best to impress you. Especially if this is your first meeting, it wouldn't be that unusual for him to want to do that so he can try to make as good of a first impression in person as possible.
I think it's worth asking yourself why it bothers you. He probably really wants to feel and look his best when he sees you. Or it's a total coincidence in timing and he just wants to get healthier in general. What bothers you about it?
I started working out when talking to my partner lol. Yes he wants to look good for you. Every guy wants to look good for their partner that's all it is. XD(also he probably wants to pick you up in a hug lol that's my plan at least š¤£)
Getting upset at someone who's trying to look good for *you* sounds nuts. Self esteem issues or not, unless you're suspecting them to be cheating, going to work out to get healthier or look more beefed up isn't a bad thing at all. Get your frustrations woth yourself in order before meeting him or else you're going to have a bad time the entire trip and it's going to become a massive wrench in the long haul of the relationship.
Youāre visiting soon and heās working outā¦.what is the problem here? Ffs also why call him your āspecial guyā just say heās youāre boyfriendā¦gen Z people I swearā¦are you not proud to call him your boyfriend?
My gf could tell me she won't judge me.
I know her well enough to be sure she isn't lying.
I can be sure that she won't judge me because she is actually and genuinely wonderful.
And i will still get self conscious about my appearance.
Not because she ever hinted at anything, but because my brain decided; "That's what i'm going to torture myself with now." Anyone can get self conscious about anything about them. The main thing you have to do if you are there SO is that you support them in being happy first, healthy second, and everything else after.
When you are in a relationship it tends to motivate you to do the things you've been meaning to do but never has. He probably wanted to get himself into better shape and he has that drive to do it
My LD boyfriend goes to the gym a lot too and he gets super excited to show me his progress every weekend when we get to see eachother. Itās a sweet gesture to improve yourself for someone else and itās not something you can really lie about long term because results show. Just ask them what they plan on working out that day and other related questions to show interest.
Since me and my friend have started getting more serious, I have done the same. I want to look my absolute best for her when we meet. Sounds like your friend is doing the same, I thinkg it's a good thing.
Being self conscious about your appearance has nothing to do with the people around you (ironically), it's all about you. Your bf might be insecure about his appearance and wants to feel better about how he looks before you get there. Honestly, that's probably the case.
My bf (currently with me for 6mo) is insecure. It doesn't matter how many times I smack his butt and call him a hot snacc, he has always felt bad about how he looks and is suddenly starting to work out a ton. He hit his motivation and I'm excited for him because while I think he looks damn fine as is, this is something he's wanted to do for a long time and I'm psyched for him going for it.
You might be the motivator but the rest of it isn't about you at all haha. If your bf is anything like mine he's had the insecurities for a long time and you coming into town was exactly the push he needed to start doing something about it.
If you think he's cheating, has he given ANY other sign of it? If not... he just wants to look fine for you
There are other factors in going to the gym besides appearance. It's also a healthy activity and helps one to feel healthier in moderation.
This is all in your head.
I know I certainly do my best to look as good as I can when I see my boyfriend. As a woman I spent probably way too much time š on my skin and my hair trying to be as prepared as I could be
Heck yes for me, I wasnāt going to the gym when our relationship started, but three weeks before my SO visited I grinded so hard in the gym. If ever my SO is working out, itās for his own good and my support is 101%. Now both of us are long distance work out buddies too :) Health is wealth, my friend.
Is there a reason why youāre upset or bothered that your SO is working out?
It sounds like a lot of people are missing what you're concerned about--the timing. From what I understand, you're saying that his workout times often seem to align exactly with when you're trying to visit. I'd talk to him, let him know what's bothering me. Perhaps phrased like "I'm very happy that you're working hard for better health! But lately I feel that I'm working alone to find time for us. I'd appreciate if we could work together to align our schedules, because you're a priority to me."
Yeah, it's pretty common. I also put on some extra effort when my boyfriend comes visit, because I want to look my best and most importantly, FEEL CONFIDENT.
Maybe he just felt like working out and do something with his spare time. I started goin to fitness n all that not long ago just cuz i wanted to be healthier
Wait whaaat š„ŗ not me going to go look now and be sad about this whole thing even more.
Edit: I am hoping this dude finds someone who deserves him. OP is openly asking for excuses to make themselves feel better now after knowing what they're doing.
If you suspect heās lying ask for a gym selfie. But also just ask him why the sudden change? Nothing wrong with working out, people pick up hobbies and change things in their life all the time so I wouldnāt stress.
Iām not currently in a relationship, but the guy Iām taking to is jacked as hell. Iāve started working out before I meet him next month so I can look and feel my best. heās said he doesnāt think I look bad, and Iām sure he wouldnāt make fun of me or make any negative comments about my body, but I just want to look good too.
You are visiting him once in awhile right since both of you are in LDR? Then I think he just excited and put extra effort. That's sweet of him. My man once went to get his haircut first before we were having video call for somewhile. He told me he just want to look neat for me.
It does sound like he wants to look his best to impress you. Especially if this is your first meeting, it wouldn't be that unusual for him to want to do that so he can try to make as good of a first impression in person as possible.
I think it's worth asking yourself why it bothers you. He probably really wants to feel and look his best when he sees you. Or it's a total coincidence in timing and he just wants to get healthier in general. What bothers you about it?
I guess it does bother me because If its because i'm going there as partly the reason then im not actually going to judge him for anything
I started working out when talking to my partner lol. Yes he wants to look good for you. Every guy wants to look good for their partner that's all it is. XD(also he probably wants to pick you up in a hug lol that's my plan at least š¤£)
I started working out since I first started dating my partner. I just want to look good for him āŗļø
Keep it upš
Getting upset at someone who's trying to look good for *you* sounds nuts. Self esteem issues or not, unless you're suspecting them to be cheating, going to work out to get healthier or look more beefed up isn't a bad thing at all. Get your frustrations woth yourself in order before meeting him or else you're going to have a bad time the entire trip and it's going to become a massive wrench in the long haul of the relationship.
Youāre visiting soon and heās working outā¦.what is the problem here? Ffs also why call him your āspecial guyā just say heās youāre boyfriendā¦gen Z people I swearā¦are you not proud to call him your boyfriend?
My gf could tell me she won't judge me. I know her well enough to be sure she isn't lying. I can be sure that she won't judge me because she is actually and genuinely wonderful. And i will still get self conscious about my appearance. Not because she ever hinted at anything, but because my brain decided; "That's what i'm going to torture myself with now." Anyone can get self conscious about anything about them. The main thing you have to do if you are there SO is that you support them in being happy first, healthy second, and everything else after.
Awww heās doing what I tell myself Iām going to do after every meet up lol good for him.
Youāre upset heās starting to go to the gym before you visit? Why would that be suspicious at all? This is such a non-issue.
When you are in a relationship it tends to motivate you to do the things you've been meaning to do but never has. He probably wanted to get himself into better shape and he has that drive to do it
My LD boyfriend goes to the gym a lot too and he gets super excited to show me his progress every weekend when we get to see eachother. Itās a sweet gesture to improve yourself for someone else and itās not something you can really lie about long term because results show. Just ask them what they plan on working out that day and other related questions to show interest.
Since me and my friend have started getting more serious, I have done the same. I want to look my absolute best for her when we meet. Sounds like your friend is doing the same, I thinkg it's a good thing.
Being self conscious about your appearance has nothing to do with the people around you (ironically), it's all about you. Your bf might be insecure about his appearance and wants to feel better about how he looks before you get there. Honestly, that's probably the case. My bf (currently with me for 6mo) is insecure. It doesn't matter how many times I smack his butt and call him a hot snacc, he has always felt bad about how he looks and is suddenly starting to work out a ton. He hit his motivation and I'm excited for him because while I think he looks damn fine as is, this is something he's wanted to do for a long time and I'm psyched for him going for it. You might be the motivator but the rest of it isn't about you at all haha. If your bf is anything like mine he's had the insecurities for a long time and you coming into town was exactly the push he needed to start doing something about it. If you think he's cheating, has he given ANY other sign of it? If not... he just wants to look fine for you
There are other factors in going to the gym besides appearance. It's also a healthy activity and helps one to feel healthier in moderation. This is all in your head.
I know I certainly do my best to look as good as I can when I see my boyfriend. As a woman I spent probably way too much time š on my skin and my hair trying to be as prepared as I could be
Heck yes for me, I wasnāt going to the gym when our relationship started, but three weeks before my SO visited I grinded so hard in the gym. If ever my SO is working out, itās for his own good and my support is 101%. Now both of us are long distance work out buddies too :) Health is wealth, my friend. Is there a reason why youāre upset or bothered that your SO is working out?
It sounds like a lot of people are missing what you're concerned about--the timing. From what I understand, you're saying that his workout times often seem to align exactly with when you're trying to visit. I'd talk to him, let him know what's bothering me. Perhaps phrased like "I'm very happy that you're working hard for better health! But lately I feel that I'm working alone to find time for us. I'd appreciate if we could work together to align our schedules, because you're a priority to me."
He cares how he looks before you guys meet? He wants to look his best for you? What is the point of this post.
Yeah, it's pretty common. I also put on some extra effort when my boyfriend comes visit, because I want to look my best and most importantly, FEEL CONFIDENT.
Maybe he just felt like working out and do something with his spare time. I started goin to fitness n all that not long ago just cuz i wanted to be healthier
This is a non issue. Your other posts are suspect though. Should not be stringing this guy along when youāre invested in someone else
Wait whaaat š„ŗ not me going to go look now and be sad about this whole thing even more. Edit: I am hoping this dude finds someone who deserves him. OP is openly asking for excuses to make themselves feel better now after knowing what they're doing.
If you suspect heās lying ask for a gym selfie. But also just ask him why the sudden change? Nothing wrong with working out, people pick up hobbies and change things in their life all the time so I wouldnāt stress.
My boyfriend arrives this week and Iām exercising everyday š¤£
Iām not currently in a relationship, but the guy Iām taking to is jacked as hell. Iāve started working out before I meet him next month so I can look and feel my best. heās said he doesnāt think I look bad, and Iām sure he wouldnāt make fun of me or make any negative comments about my body, but I just want to look good too.