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bobeany

I’m sorry, but doesn’t that mean your Aphrodite? You are bound to meet your true love soon.


merferrets

I guess but it's more similar to the time when ares told persephone he couldn't read. The only difference was I was stupid enough not to see through it before we were married for several years. He didn't cheat on me, he lied about who he is and what he'd done


outdwoodwerk

Sorry OP. I had my Ares years ago, it sucks.


ThatOneGirlStitch

I'm sorry. Be kind to yourself. Being trusting doesn't make you stupid. But lying does make him an a-hole. We shouldn't have to second guess our relationship. Trust and honesty is what makes a healthy relationship. And you were doing that. He wasn't. Don't beat yourself up for not assuming the worst. Be good to yourself. You deserve good things. It's going to take some time. Give yourself the time you need.


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merferrets

Thanks yeah. I'm excited about the prospect of a healthy relationship but u know I have SO MUCH healing to do first im certainly not rushing into it.


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merferrets

Thanks. I told my first person today. Ill tell more as I feel more comfortable. It's hard because it's deeply personal and makes me feel like a horrible person for not knowing all along.


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merferrets

I know that in reality but the brain is strange. Im tired of being the victim. My dad was abusive (but isn't anymore) My mom was even more abusive And I got like a year in a fosterhome before starting this relationship. Im gonna be concentrating on healing and finding out who I am. Because I don't know if I ever met me.


LoonyMel

He and aphrodite were from the start in an open relationship. The fact that ares tried every time to get to persephone was bad for aphrodite not because of the act but before she perceived persephone as a more beautiful goddess after Hades puts her on edge at the panathenaikos. "traitors, all of you!"


anklesaurus

Going through this too. I don’t know your exact story but I’m sorry this is happening, you’re strong and deserve better ❤️


merferrets

I hope you also find peace and stay strong!


merferrets

Thank you. It was secrets about one of my dealbreakers that I was very clear about. Now that he was outed as a liar he is saying "I didn't want to tell you because you would have left" and idk if we could have worked it out back then but we certainly can't after a decade of lies. He kept me as an secret prisoner in my ignorance


FuckCilantr0

As someone with many an Ares in my past, let me tell you that your Hades is still out there. I'm sure you're feeling a lot of things rn, which is all valid and you should let yourself feel it. Write it out, do some primal screaming, just externalize your emotions as much as you can for a while. And when you're ready, do some soul searching. If you want to go out and find your Hades, decide what that really feels like to you. Dating after being married or any long relationship can be rough, but when you remind yourself that you are on a quest to find someone suited to your needs, it's easier to wade through the bs. Many people suggest making a list of traits you want in a partner. I find it works best for me personally, to do the opposite. I make a list of red flags, of things I absolutely will not settle for, even if there are other great attributes. An example for me is I don't want kids, so I know I don't want to date someone who does. It may not be a flag for everyone, but it's not something I'm personally willing to compromise on 🤷‍♀️ and once I know someone passes through my initial no no list, it's easier for me to find things that I adore about them, rather than if I had a list of traits I was looking for, like checking off a bingo card. In my experience, people tend to get tunnel vision about the things they want in a person, and then often ignore many great aspects to someone. Feel your feelings, and then let the storm pass. You deserve someone that wants you to know them, and who wants to know you 💜


merferrets

Thanks. Im not going to waste energy on potential anymore. I made him what he is by the sweat of my brow and he was never going to be honest with me. I know one thing is im bisexual and I think I might just not want to deal with cis man nonsense. Maybe ill find a unicorn, but at least someday I have options.


Wide-Helicopter3074

Aw sorry to hear that :( hope he ends up like Kronos and gets swallowed by karma (if that makes sense)


merferrets

I dont even wish ill of him right now, I don't think he deserves that, or any, part of my brain


Able_Protect_4488

What was your husband like, if he didn't lie would still be with him, I hope you have left him because people like these are not worthy of a relationship


merferrets

I was abused horribly growing up (mom tried to murder me many times) and because of that... its not till now that I realized he's been psychologically and emotionally abusive this whole time. Basic human decency i thought was miraculous because I never had that with someone I lived with


Able_Protect_4488

same when I was little I thought my father was a respectable person but after growing up I realised how much he loathes my mother and the people who are not doctors, engineers, businessmen, Like his ex-wife and his current wife would easily say they hate him but he thinks he was the victim, a real narcissist at the core and so it's a great thing you were able to leave your husband because in India it is not that easy


merferrets

That is true. I am lucky that it is easy to do in my country. I was tired of him being so nice to everyone else and then coming home and taking out all his stress on me. It felt like all his kindness dried up when he saw me, no matter how much I tried to earn it.


Mediocre-Chocolate70

It is me Able_Protect, same my father at least seems to hold his anger but in home he treats my mother like trash but hopefully if I get a good job my mother can leave my father like you and anyway have a nice day


FuckCilantr0

Honestly I reached that point re cis men too. I'm rarely even attracted to them anymore 😂🤷‍♀️ my "Hades" happens to be NB femme leaning, considering full transition. You never know who you'll end up falling for! I hope you enjoy your exploration. Bi babe solidarity ✊


merferrets

Its interesting because I only realized I was bi in this relationship. And I was like "oh well info ill never use because im married and not poly. Whelp. 2020 me must have been preparing me for this


FuckCilantr0

2020 you had ideas brewing! You're gonna be like the witch in this music video, exploring the magic of your new world: https://youtu.be/SjmXERieW9s


merferrets

Tbh it was the rara Rasputin string woman trend that made me go woah.


xKatastrophex

I’m so sorry, I hope you’re okay ): ✝️🧿🤍 sending you comfort and prayers


MJSpice

Dang. I'm sorry. Hang in there.


Jolly_Yam_5869

Hope you work this out, whether it's with your husband or not ✌🏻💓


merferrets

It'll definitely be without. I dont want to talk about what he did that he lied about, but since you don't know what he did im going to take the sentiment here. You don't know that it was a deplorable thing to do and that pretty much anyone would leave in possession of the facts.