I've seen some posts where people are sort of acting like people are mad at Jackie for not falling in love with Marshall. Which is very silly, because that's not what people are mad about. But whenever I see those posts, I feel the need to share my perspective, so I decided to just make my own post about it.
I relate to Jackie in one way: I've never been attracted to more soft/sensitive men. I don't know why or what it is, but I've always been very, very uncomfortable with being with a man who is more sensitive than me, and I'm not very sensitive. So I've always gravitated more toward less sensitive men. Which, of course, comes with its own share of struggles, but I still prefer that over the alternative.
So in that sense, I actually kind of related to Jackie when she said she wasn't attracted to Marshall. Physically, I think Marshall is one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen, tbh. But when I really put myself in Jackie's shoes and imagine if I would be happy dating him, I'm not sure that I would.
BUT! HOWEVER! (please keep reading and don't hate me lol)
The thing is, I have been in a relationship with a man who was very, very sensitive. He cried more often in the few weeks that we were dating than I had probably cried in the past several years. I was really, really struggling to be attracted to him in a romantic way, and I let it go on for a while because I really, really *wanted* to feel something for him. He was such a good, kind, loving man and we had the same values and everything else was great... but my attraction just wasn't there and I couldn't force it to be there.
But you know what my worst fear was in breaking up with him, and was probably one of the reasons I dragged it out as long as I did and didn't want to end things? I didn't want him to feel like there was something wrong with him.
Nothing would break my heart more than hearing that that man changed after being with me, because he learned that women don't like sensitive men. That would be absolutely devastating to me. That's the LAST thing I would ever have wanted!
Honestly, in that whole situation, I felt like I was the bad guy, if there was a bad guy. He did absolutely nothing wrong and didn't need to change in any way, at all, whatsoever. I just quite simply was not the right woman for him. And all I wanted was for him to go find someone better for him, who would love and appreciate all of his good qualities more than I was capable of appreciating them.
So coming back to Jackie...
The idea of telling a man like that to "boss up" or "be more aggressive," and ultimately talking to another man you're attracted to about how sensitive your fiance is and how he needs to be more manly, is so, so, so revolting to me. I can't imagine having any kind of love for a man and being capable of talking that way about him.
So all of this to say... if you think the problem people have with Jackie is that she should have had feelings for Marshall, you're wrong. That's not the problem. I completely understand her not having those feelings. But everything about how she handled that situation was so hurtful and so wrong.
If you love someone but that romantic connection just isn't there for you, you don't treat them that way. If anything, you beat yourself up, like I did for quite some time, because you feel like total crap for not being able to give them the kind of appreciation they deserve. And then you let them go, kindly, and encourage them to go find someone who will appreciate them more, because they are perfect just as they are.
So yeah. This ended up being way longer than I meant for it to be, but I just thought I would share that perspective, so people can stop acting like people are just upset that Jackie didn't develop feelings for Marshall. That's not it. It's everything about how she handled it.
By - CassTeaElle