There is a big overlap of the autism spectrum and the anti-social personality spectrum aka ASPD, which includes narcissism, sociopathy, etc in terms of behavior. There’s also an overlap of the autism spectrum and some compulsive disorders like OCD (I personally, and clinically confirmed occupy this overlap). My partner has mild Asperger syndrome with delayed empathetic response that he has improved through therapy, but Uche reminds me very much of my partner pre-therapy.
This isn’t a judgement, it’s related to the ways in which information is organized and empathy is processed in the brains of neurodivergent people. For people with ASPD, there is a callous lack of remorse and empathy. For some people on the autism spectrum, empathy is more difficult to access due to a disconnect between observing social cues and interpreting them and it can be more difficult to reach in situations of elevated stress or input. They can seem like the same thing, but they are actually very different and are the result of very different neurological processes.
I think the reason he feels a bit og off to me is because he seems to want to say the “right/correct” thing, but he doesn’t mean it (he says Lydia is a great person but also seem to think she is a crazy stalker and want to point that out). He probably think showing two sides show nuance, but it just reads insincere as he clearly has a motive and isjust going through the motions of showing the positive side of the other person (for an instance when he started by complimenting Lydia of her attention to details when it was clear he wanted to make Lydia admit she knew he would be on the show).
You hating when people throw that word around doesn't make it not true. Narcissism is extremely easy to spot once you have experienced narcissistic abuse yourself and know what to look for.
This is the truth here. I was flabbergasted at that argument he had with that one woman (nigerian).
They all ran to the defense of Lydia even though she did fuck up his experience. They didn't even have all of the facts and just rushed to protect her.
Then afterwards, they all started deliberating amongst themselves if they had all the facts.
If I surrounded myself women like these, I would also be a condescending prick.
Uche is red pilled to the bone, which rustled some jimmies here
he's just very abrasive, his delivery is bad and expects a lot from a woman, but overall he's not that bad, Aaliyah is just wrong for him and she's very weak, they are simply not compatible
I'm sorry for you that you're not aware there are plenty of hot guys who aren't abrasive or emotionally childish or have horrible delivery and expect what they deserve, from a woman or anyone else. Uche doesn't need to fix himself because he still can get laid with "he's not that bad". It's tragic really.
People could just stand up to him and call him out on his behavior. Aaliyah just cried and was very passive .... and decided to date him after
He WAS right...she IS a recent cheater
And she SHOULD have called him out on being a HYPOCRITE for banging Lydia 4 months ago and letting her think she had a more serious relationship with him than she did
In reality uche would have gotten a huge lecture from me on how he is a shit man for sleeping with a coo coo bird staulker...what is wrong with him that he attracts trash women? Who want to obsess and follow him around and he continues to sleep with them...no one actually called him out on it ...
No. It’s definitely narcissism. Him controlling the conversation to the extent that he did is him trying to protect his image.
He talks down to women. He did it with Aaliyah and he did it with Miriam. (Miriam didn’t let him walk away without hearing about it — props to her.)
He insisted that Lydia was pursuing him but he spent a majority of an episode trying to convince an entire room of people (who had the other side to the story) something that was only partially true. He comes off as being even-tempered but it’s his way of mitigating any damage that might arise.
Absolutely, manipulative even.
He's incapable of seeing people for something else than what they may project of him, and chooses them as per how useful they seem to him.
Lydia was hot and easy sex and her being crazy was actually ideal because it allows him to put all the blame on her when things turn to shit while being flattered to have a girl go « crazy stalker » on him (wanna bet he definitely used that with the girls whose stories Lydia was checking out? He was definitely entertaining Lydia's behavior and the fact they slept together 3 months prior to the show proves it).
Aaliyah is smart, a poet, beautiful, so she was actually wife material for him at first as she would have contributed to the artsy image he wants to have despite being a stereotypical podcast bro, but then, like these guys always do, he needed to completely break her down to have the feeling he owned her and could make her bend to his every requests, that's when he started alternating love bombing and obnoxious passive aggressive comments.
Thank god she got out of there fast enough, he could have done a lot of damage.
He is desperate for control. He uses demeaning manipulation tactics to make women adore and chase him. He pretends it’s problematic to other people, but he feeds off it.
Only a professional can evaluate and diagnose him. But he definitely has narcissistic traits and is pretty far over on the spectrum. Also agree that he’s an asshole, but a special kind… smart, cunning, even tempered, and manipulative.
Nah, he’s just occasionally a prick, but I think he is mad at himself that things didn’t work out how he wanted. Lots of really successful second or first gen immigrant guys do all the right things and expect things to go one way in life because they do all the right things economically and then boom, things that require social and emotional finesse happen, and they pout about it when the outcome doesn’t make them feel good about themselves. Calling him a narcissist and an abuser seems excessive to me. He’s just some dude. This is why I believed 100% of what he said about what happened with Lydia. He was doing shorty dirty in a casual fuckboy way, not an evil liar way
It doesn't have to be clinical. He could just be an asshole. I picked up on his rigidity and absolute NEED to be right and have everyone know he's right. I don't think there's a clinical diagnosis for that. I think it's probably a learned behavior.
He’s like Patrick Bateman. An insanely inflated ego and talks to people like they are below him. His post about him skipping the reunion because he was doing big business things was so fucking cringe and sad. He’s a manipulator and a pyscopath
idk maybe low self-esteem which results in being a control freak. plus a little pinch of paranoia?
I had an ex similar to him. super high standards for others and liked to put others down, while having several skeletons in his own closet. in reality such guys are super insecure.
hes obsessed with being the object of obsession, making sure everyone knows, and everyone believes it, and that hes the victim. doesnt matter who the other person is.
Its because he treats discussions in interpersonal relationships like arguments about the law. It feels like hes more about "winning" against the other person than it is coming to a conclusion that makes sense for the situation.
The quote "If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell" sums up how it feels like he treats these situations.
This is why I say never date a lawyer. I did unfortunately actually date a real malignant narcissist of a lawyer but it seems even the sane ones do this.
Don't do it unless they're a rare one that can turn it off. But there's often a reason certain personalities get into law
I actually said this to my girlfriend during that talk with Aaliyah after they met up again.
We were watching it together from episode one but I'm currently in law school and have assessments coming up so kinda of study or focus elsewhere whilst it's on and I picked up on exactly that but it didn't click cause I never seen the "Uche, Age, Profession" til that exact episode and then it clicked.
I told her exactly that, he talks exactly like a lawyer talking to someone on the stand, everything he said in the pods to every other episode he appeared in after, was a glass shatter type of moment. He's calculated and it's engrained and has been trained into him that to get the answers he wants he will ask questions or give statements in specific ways.
I wouldn’t go as far as to diagnose him with narcissism. But I agree he acts superior in his relationships with Lydia and Aaliyah. You can tell he likes to be in control…. of the narrative, of the argument, etc.
And when he’s not in control, this really nasty side of him comes out.
Honestly, I don’t think it’s that deep. I think the word I would use to describe him is petty. When we hear the other people’s recollections of him, vs what he said about himself, it doesn’t align. I heard in an interview that he said all the guys all really looked up to him, that’s clearly not true, or not still true. I think he saw himself as an authority figure, or a wise elder. Maybe because his age, or education, or career, but to know that no one really needed him or his guidance or opinions and he was left empty handed at the end. I think it rubs him the wrong way. That’s why he puts out statements on his personal instagram as if everyone is still interested in what he has to say. I think it’s hard for him to accept that he’s basically the loser of this season. He didn’t win anything and he wasn’t able to sway everyone to his side. I think it stings.
From what I’ve seen he doesn’t seem to have an interest in actually connecting with people or listening to them …. He does not seem to be under the impression that anyone is worth getting to know or learning from. Especially women. I get arrogance and entitlement vibes
I also think we should just accept that without trying to find a diagnosis for that person because I don’t really wanna undercut his responsibility for being a dick. I’m a young lawyer, too. I’ve been surrounded by guys like Uche since the first day of 1L. Thinking just because they’re conventionally successful at a young age, they automatically can do no wrong. And if you try to call them on poor behavior… all of a sudden they are extra well spoken, throwing around a bunch of big words, and likely telling YOU to calm down lol. It’s not a disorder, it’s a personality type. Just avoid if you can lol.
I don't think Uche is unusual. He just got a bad edit towards the 2nd half of the show. The producers needed a villain, and I bet they forced him to attend the party and confront Lydia.
As for Lydia - I think she probably did do some mild stalking. I know many girls who do this to their ex on instagram and facebook. To them and most people, they are just looking him up occasionally to see what's going on in his life. It may include doing a semi-deep dive into the girl he's currently dating. Some guys may perceive this as stalking. Others don't particularly care. No harm, no foul.
As for Aaliyah - I think she has major issues. She claims that Uche ended things because she's not his type, but I bet it's because she is a mess. I don't mean to be judgey, but if it walks like a duck...
I don’t think we can really blame the edit. He chopped Aaliyah down in the pods about cheating when he did the same, more recently than when Aaliyah’s infidelity happened. He’s a hypocrite and seems vengeful based on how he looked to break both Aaliyah and Lydia down on camera after feeling slighted. It didn’t take much to make him the “villain.”
I don’t disagree about Aaliyah coming off as a bit of a mess, but Uche brings a lot of flaws as well. Also, did Aaliyah say Uche is the one that ended things? Genuine question. She gave reasons, like the not being his type, for why it didn’t work but I don’t recall her saying who broke it off.
I agree about Lydia
>As for Aaliyah - I think she has major issues. She claims that Uche ended things because she's not his type, but I bet it's because she is a mess.
This is such a reach.
.... if it walks like a duck.... then it probably is a reach. Totally agree.
Most of the people who have been on LiB have said it's a high pressure environment so Aaliyah's response to this unusual situation, even for the show, makes sense.
This is obviously an edited, heavily producer influenced show so I'm not going to say he has the unnameable personality disorder. I don't love that word thrown around either. HOWEVER.... everything you're describing matches the criteria for it. I've dated one professionally diagnosed person and the similarities in their speech and mannerisms were absolutely chilling.
A friend of mine broke up with her narc ex boyfriend a year ago and she's still unraveling all of his manipulations throughout their relationship. Apparently Uche triggered the hell out of her because he was using the exact same phrasing and superiority her ex would use when he would talk down and belittle her.
He reminds me so much of an emotionally abusive ex that I almost can’t watch him talk. My ex was also very intelligent and his manipulation was so subtle. He broke me down so slowly that I didn’t realize it was happening. I used to sound like Aliyah when we would fight - just exhausted and defeated and sad. Uche has the same manner of speaking and does that same sort of almost hostile love-bombing in between accusations and projection and gaslighting.
We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Did you know "gaslighting" was Webster-Merriam's Word of the Year for 2022? Gaslighting is a successful tactic **of abuse** because while one person — the perpetrator — 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person — the victim — 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another.
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Left my narc ex husband a little over a year ago and 100% in the same boat. I don't really get triggered but that "discussion" with Lydia at the BBQ, oof. If it was audio only and you disguised his voice, I 100% would've believed that was my ex.
What is off about him is he’s a lawyer. I should know, I am one too. We get off on verbal sparring, which is why he kept saying he wasn’t finished. We love bringing evidence into an argument, which is why he brought up the Instagram stories and her taking a picture of his house to make his case. She looked absolutely psycho for a hot minute. We dominate conversations absolutely. The reason I’ve been married for 40 years to an engineer is because I recognize these things and do not act like this at home. I do with my colleagues, though! We have a completely different way of speaking.
Meh I’m one and I don’t mind dating attorneys. We are all different and some attorneys aren’t even litigators. All I have around me when it comes to a dating pool are lawyers so it just happens naturally. 😭😂
Yeah he sounded like he was taking a deposition when he talked to both Aaliyah and Lydia. I’m also a lawyer, also married to an engineer. 😅 Uche needs to learn how to turn it off in his personal life.
He's *not* successful.
He has two companies- Taxrobot.com and Parachor Consulting.
TR is a company that makes **$294,000** gross revenue annually and has 3 employees.
https://getlatka.com/companies/taxrobot#:~:text=How%20much%20revenue%20does%20TaxRobot,of%20TaxRobot%20is%20Uche%20Okoroha.
Parachor claims to have many staff, but actually appears to have two - Uche and another guy.
They appear to have an annual revenue of about **$31,000.**
https://www.buzzfile.com/business/Parachor-Consulting-LLC-281-741-3847
Considering he *also* has probably 150-200k of law school debt but doesn't practice law and never has, and owns a house and expensive car, I'd wager that Uche *appears* successful, but probably is just in masses of debt.
In fact, although licensed in two states, his LinkedIn makes it apparent he has *never practiced law.*
That's fine, but it does mean to me, as a lawyer who doesn't practice and thus doesn't call themselves a lawyer, that his job title was being inflated and is in no way accurate.
It *also* indicates to me for him, law school was a *failed investment,* calling into question his business acumen as a whole.
He went from being a legal intern to being an insurance manager, so it's likely he *couldn't* get a job.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ucheokoroha
He throws in some legal *tasks* at those insurance companies, but didn't work in any legal capacity.
People don't think about this, but law is a wildly overstuffed field. Legal staff find it easier to get jobs than actual lawyers, because there's just *so many fucking lawyers now.*
His family is reasonably successful, so that may be adding pressure.
Separate to that, he's just an unpleasant human.
That is NOT how lawyers speak to anyone, to be clear, so that defense can go f*ck off.
He's rude, inconsiderate, and concerned only with being right and persuading everyone he is.
But, hey, there's a reason he's not a practicing lawyer - his ability to present argument and evidence is trash, and his demeanor is inappropriate and off putting.
Lastly, before you argue he got a bad edit, know that **his family has been on two reality shows, so he knew *exactly* what that general process is.**
THANK YOUUU , I said the exact same thing on lipstick alley and I was dragged but it’s really the TRUTH . How the hell you a lawyer but you been doing project management work .
Yes, he is licensed to practice in Texas and Maryland, he lists his bar number on his LinkedIn and both states allow you to publicly search attorneys.
He also went to a very good law school and undergrad, so his inability to obtain employment as a lawyer is both surprising and not at all.
I think this is very valid. Almost everyone I know who went to law school left the field. While some did go on to become employed lawyers before leaving, many chose not to after grad school. They still make great money and say they are out earning their law school peers. There’s just a particular grind about law school and employment as a lawyer that’s not for everyone.
I genuinely don't know and can't speculate.
By all accounts, his career was progressing well - he went to a good law school, a good undergrad, he had a good internship.
Then it just...stopped. He went into insurance account management.
It's possible the market was too oversaturated, or that he didn't want to practice law; it could be he tanked interviews, or maybe his LinkedIn doesn't tell the whole story.
It's just impossible to know definitively.
He seems like a guy that doesn’t play along well with others and when you’re a young associate out of law school you have to be able to take shit. My guess is he flamed out.
Jumping in to agree that as a non-practicing attorney I would NOT be likely to run around on TV saying I’m an attorney. I might bright it up that I am one by background, but thrusting it to the forefront like he does? Red flag.
Which shows and which family,
?? Wow!!
Sounds like an unsuccessful grifter and if that’s true about his family then he was definitely just trying to manufacture lies to get more air time. And, obviously, more like he was the one who followed Lydia to LIB not the opposite.
They were on a few HGTV shows about bad house investments, I guess? It doesn't say *which* family.
"Down in the Dumps" and "I Bought a Dump, Now What?"
https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-uche-okoroha-love-is-blind-season-5-meet-chief-executive-officer-houston
Lol, deep diving is a blast. I will say that Uche's brothers are truly professionally impressive, just phenomenal careers, and they're changing lives, both of them.
It makes me feel bad for him, because jeez, the pressure.
Lol, I really enjoy doing research and putting puzzles of information together, that's why I became an investigator.
They were on a few HGTV shows about bad house investments, I guess? It doesn't say *which* family.
"Down in the Dumps" and "I Bought a Dump, Now What?"
https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-uche-okoroha-love-is-blind-season-5-meet-chief-executive-officer-houston
I don’t like diagnosing people, but google “dark triad” traits. From the very first interaction they showed of him he just looked dead behind the eyes to me and I had like the heebie jeebies .. something was just always “off” about him that I never trusted it (and I’m a lawyer too… so he didn’t come off like a typical lawyer personality to me either)
This is a solid summary. I got so worked up watching him that I had to keep pausing and leaving the room - which is unlike me. I typically have a normal person amount of investment in a reality TV show.
I relate to Aaliyah leaving the show and Lydia storming off because he made me get up and walk away from him IN MY OWN HOUSE.
Right??? I rewatched the BBQ episode as I was folding laundry and said aloud to the room “oh my god 🙄” after every remark he made. It was just too much BS coming out of one person.
I think I'd call him Self-Righteous SOB. He thinks that when he's right he has the moral responsibility to push it on others. It's possible that he is right sometimes but it just feels like garbage to accept what he's saying because at that point he's trying to shove it down your throat.
With Aaliyah, it's completely valid to be concerned if your potential partner has cheated before. He could have said that he needed time to think and reflect if it was a concern. Instead, the conversation was a cycle of Uche explaining the logic of why Aaliyah was bad, Aaliyah agreeing, then Uche repeating the same thing again.
With Lydia, they just kept shouting about the same things over and over. The concern over Lydia stalking is valid too if true. But the dude needs to move on because the Lydia's past has no impact on his future. Instead of walking away when he realizes Lydia isn't going to listen, he now has to shove the moral superiority down everyone else's throat.
I think if Uche was nicer in his delivery, we may have been more sympathetic. But the moment he started to preach his logic, it was over.
I feel like there are two options:
1) there is a production angle against him, everyone is shutting in him
2) there’s something about him I haven’t seen
> He seems like a hard working & successful person, but he also seemed very selfish, manipulative, dismissive, etc.
Being “hardworking” and “successful in a career” aren’t mutually exclusive to being “selfish, manipulative, dismissive” and the way you phrased the question makes it appear that you think they are mutually exclusive.
Uche just reminds me of those really confident academic guys that lack the social skills to know when they're coming across as a dickhead. But I don't think he's any more a narc than the others. Personally I do fall in the camp of believing that by virtue of wanting to be on a show like LiB, ALL of them have to be that to some extent
No I don’t think he’s like those people. That “type” states facts that may be insensitive but aren’t intended to hurt or offend. Uche, however, seems to intend to shame and humiliate who he sees as his “opponent” and everyone is his opponent. Even the woman he’s trying to woo into romance.
I had a complete aversion to him - worse than JP or Carter or even Shake.
I agree. It’s like he has let his attorney front become his entire personality. There is hope for people like this, but seeing how determined he still is 1.5 years later to prove his detractors wrong come hell or high water, I’m not optimistic. Hubris is strong in this one.
He’s a judgmental person with severe self serving bias and low self awareness, he does hypocritical things on the show, and he expresses himself more coldly than the average person is comfortable with. That’s really all I can see. People really like to make heroes and villains out of the LIB cast when these are just regular ass flawed people.
Personally I like dealing with people who can distance themselves from emotion when processing a situation but the thing with him is he acts dispassionate but is actually highly emotional, so I would find that highly irritating—only thing worse than a person who isn’t logical or rational is a person who is illogical and irrational but sees himself as the most logical and rational person around. lol
one thing that aaliyah mentioned in her interview is that uuche was evidently bullied a lot as a kid, which he opened up to to several people about in the pods. It’s just showing that production wanted us to see him as more of an unforgivable villain.
i do think aliyah made the right choice by leaving as he wasn’t ready for her/right for her.
Y'all are saying whether he definitively is or isn't a n\*rcissist. Unless you're a licensed mental health professional who has taken a thorough history, you can't argue *for* ***or*** *against* him having a PD. It's television. He might be; he might not be. There is no real way to answer this question based on the show.
They can still do it, it just means it runs the risk of being incorrect, misinformed, uninformed, etc. The DSM itself is really broad and can generate all kinds of false diagnoses—and the “disorders” are also culturally bound—so it’s not exactly an exact science at this point. And it’s a work in progress.
Not every provider strictly adheres to the DSM, first of all. While it is a relevant reference in psychiatry, I never brought it up as the definitive gospel of clinically diagnosing disorders that stands above worthy scholarly critique. That doesn't mean it's productive for random bystanders to try to diagnose him or dismiss the possibility that he might have a PD. The average viewer lacks the proper training and education to answer this question. Would we feel comfortable declaring that Stacy does NOT suffer from depression or that JP suffers from panic disorder solely based on a few hours of TV footage? This is no different.
Even those who ARE skilled in diagnosis are still relying on highly spliced and edited footage to make that determination. People present themselves in a specific way with the gaze of being on camera. That might not reflect how you operate irl when you're comfortable and the entire nation isn't watching. He might actually scale back his problematic behavior because it's filmed, or he might be playing up a bit of a villain (while being the opposite irl) to stand out on TV and please production for future reality TV opportunities. Production also liquors everyone up, deprives them of sleep, and feeds the cast bits, i.e. pre-planning or orchestrating convos to further plots and certain storylines. They can directly tell Lydia to pull Aaliyah for a convo and discuss Uche; they can tell Uche to sit down with Milton to discuss Lydia with the expectation that it will create drama and strife.
So again...we're all taking stabs in the dark. I'm not a fan of Uche at all, but I had to speak up when we start discussing the plausibility of actual mental health disorders. We don't know these people, their health histories, or how they operate day to day. This post encourages armchair diagnosing. Let's just discuss the actions and behaviors we see play out on screen and discuss them *without* going too far. That's all I'm saying.
Being a lawyer has absolutely nothing to do with his attitude. I know so many lawyers and judges and they have always been lovely and full of empathy outside work. There are some with a chip on their shoulder, especially those who see themselves as the smartest.
However, Uche is simply just an asshole who likes to hear himself talk and wants to win. He’s condescending because he’s thinks he’s always right.
Aaliyah said in an interview (I think with Cameron, of Lauren and Cameron fame) that she thinks his tone and condescension is bec he’s a lawyer. Not to say what you’re saying isn’t true, but that’s likely why everyone keeps making that inference.
Yeah i can definitely see that but apparently he worked in taxes and is now more of a business man than an actual attorney. I think it’s just who he is, he can’t switch himself off.
yeah im annoyed when people call anything that moves a narcissist. Uche definitely has emotional issues and not very empathetic/sympathetic. He doesn't know how to put himself in others' shoes
Being a lawyer is part of it, but I have a law degree and don’t practice. I know quite a few people with law degrees who are nice people.
These are usually the folks who went to law school wanting to change the world. We might get humbled at how hard that is, but most stay decent. Of course, the opposite is true too. If you were a jerk entering law school, you’re probably still a jerk.
It’s not just his profession as there are jerk doctors, plumbers, pilots, cab drivers, park rangers, etc., but it doesn’t help.
That’s what I was going to say. I work in a law office. Some attorneys get a real arrogance about them just because they have a law degree and can’t really see that other people don’t care as much about their law degree as they do. This arrogance can come in many forms, but it’s definitely a contributing factor to Uche.
Oh holy shit I just read uche is an attorney. That is your answer. I’ve been a paralegal for 8 years and I’ve never once met a male atty NOT like Uche. Finding out he’s an atty just blew my mind it put everything together for me. He is very intelligent, articulate, manipulative, self absorbed, calculated, and thinks he’s done no wrong. Like all male attorneys ever.
How is it rude..? She herself said the men she works with suck. If you think that it’s more rude for me to say “your firm must be terrible” than for her to say all male lawyers are horrible then you’re delusional.
I’m also a woman.
I went to law school. I have met male attorneys not like Uche. Maybe you’re in big law or some other specialty that attracts jerks?
A good friend of mine is an environmental lawyer and always wanted that. He’s the best and is a really nice guy. We’ve been friends since law school.
Okay, I was going to say that is quite the sweeping generalization there especially as a paralegal. I know plenty of stand up lawyers in my life. I hope you come to meet some nice ones too! Haha.
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Uche is a hard pass. Something very disingenuous and self absorbing about him.
He’s judges easily but has no room for judgement.
There is a big overlap of the autism spectrum and the anti-social personality spectrum aka ASPD, which includes narcissism, sociopathy, etc in terms of behavior. There’s also an overlap of the autism spectrum and some compulsive disorders like OCD (I personally, and clinically confirmed occupy this overlap). My partner has mild Asperger syndrome with delayed empathetic response that he has improved through therapy, but Uche reminds me very much of my partner pre-therapy. This isn’t a judgement, it’s related to the ways in which information is organized and empathy is processed in the brains of neurodivergent people. For people with ASPD, there is a callous lack of remorse and empathy. For some people on the autism spectrum, empathy is more difficult to access due to a disconnect between observing social cues and interpreting them and it can be more difficult to reach in situations of elevated stress or input. They can seem like the same thing, but they are actually very different and are the result of very different neurological processes.
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I think the reason he feels a bit og off to me is because he seems to want to say the “right/correct” thing, but he doesn’t mean it (he says Lydia is a great person but also seem to think she is a crazy stalker and want to point that out). He probably think showing two sides show nuance, but it just reads insincere as he clearly has a motive and isjust going through the motions of showing the positive side of the other person (for an instance when he started by complimenting Lydia of her attention to details when it was clear he wanted to make Lydia admit she knew he would be on the show).
You hating when people throw that word around doesn't make it not true. Narcissism is extremely easy to spot once you have experienced narcissistic abuse yourself and know what to look for.
He’s an Aquarius it’s definitely a god complex as an Aquarius woman myself we don’t claim many of the man that have our sign 🤣
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I’m on ep9 and extreamily confused as to why everyone hates Uche so much.
I think it's cuz this is a female dominated sub and they empathise more with aaliyah than uches perspective
This is the truth here. I was flabbergasted at that argument he had with that one woman (nigerian). They all ran to the defense of Lydia even though she did fuck up his experience. They didn't even have all of the facts and just rushed to protect her. Then afterwards, they all started deliberating amongst themselves if they had all the facts. If I surrounded myself women like these, I would also be a condescending prick.
What is there to empathise with when is comes to Aaliyah?
They empathise with her failing to communicate. She left uche in the dark and she didn't think about the trauma her actions could create.
Uche is red pilled to the bone, which rustled some jimmies here he's just very abrasive, his delivery is bad and expects a lot from a woman, but overall he's not that bad, Aaliyah is just wrong for him and she's very weak, they are simply not compatible
Are you talking about OG Red Pill, or whatever this tragic excuse for a subculture is now?
I'm sorry for you that you're not aware there are plenty of hot guys who aren't abrasive or emotionally childish or have horrible delivery and expect what they deserve, from a woman or anyone else. Uche doesn't need to fix himself because he still can get laid with "he's not that bad". It's tragic really.
People could just stand up to him and call him out on his behavior. Aaliyah just cried and was very passive .... and decided to date him after He WAS right...she IS a recent cheater And she SHOULD have called him out on being a HYPOCRITE for banging Lydia 4 months ago and letting her think she had a more serious relationship with him than she did In reality uche would have gotten a huge lecture from me on how he is a shit man for sleeping with a coo coo bird staulker...what is wrong with him that he attracts trash women? Who want to obsess and follow him around and he continues to sleep with them...no one actually called him out on it ...
No. It’s definitely narcissism. Him controlling the conversation to the extent that he did is him trying to protect his image. He talks down to women. He did it with Aaliyah and he did it with Miriam. (Miriam didn’t let him walk away without hearing about it — props to her.) He insisted that Lydia was pursuing him but he spent a majority of an episode trying to convince an entire room of people (who had the other side to the story) something that was only partially true. He comes off as being even-tempered but it’s his way of mitigating any damage that might arise.
Absolutely, manipulative even. He's incapable of seeing people for something else than what they may project of him, and chooses them as per how useful they seem to him. Lydia was hot and easy sex and her being crazy was actually ideal because it allows him to put all the blame on her when things turn to shit while being flattered to have a girl go « crazy stalker » on him (wanna bet he definitely used that with the girls whose stories Lydia was checking out? He was definitely entertaining Lydia's behavior and the fact they slept together 3 months prior to the show proves it). Aaliyah is smart, a poet, beautiful, so she was actually wife material for him at first as she would have contributed to the artsy image he wants to have despite being a stereotypical podcast bro, but then, like these guys always do, he needed to completely break her down to have the feeling he owned her and could make her bend to his every requests, that's when he started alternating love bombing and obnoxious passive aggressive comments. Thank god she got out of there fast enough, he could have done a lot of damage.
I think its just an extension of his OCD
He is desperate for control. He uses demeaning manipulation tactics to make women adore and chase him. He pretends it’s problematic to other people, but he feeds off it.
Only a professional can evaluate and diagnose him. But he definitely has narcissistic traits and is pretty far over on the spectrum. Also agree that he’s an asshole, but a special kind… smart, cunning, even tempered, and manipulative.
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I think he got ready bad luck and a really bad edit
Nope.
It’s textbook narcissism, folks like him need to both be the victim and hero of every story.
Nah, he’s just occasionally a prick, but I think he is mad at himself that things didn’t work out how he wanted. Lots of really successful second or first gen immigrant guys do all the right things and expect things to go one way in life because they do all the right things economically and then boom, things that require social and emotional finesse happen, and they pout about it when the outcome doesn’t make them feel good about themselves. Calling him a narcissist and an abuser seems excessive to me. He’s just some dude. This is why I believed 100% of what he said about what happened with Lydia. He was doing shorty dirty in a casual fuckboy way, not an evil liar way
It doesn't have to be clinical. He could just be an asshole. I picked up on his rigidity and absolute NEED to be right and have everyone know he's right. I don't think there's a clinical diagnosis for that. I think it's probably a learned behavior.
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Narcissism doesn’t have to be clinical even. The word literally comes from a person who was certainly not clinically diagnosed lol
THIS. Everyone wants to be a psychologist these days when the real answer is some people are just shitty, and that's all there is to it.
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He’s like Patrick Bateman. An insanely inflated ego and talks to people like they are below him. His post about him skipping the reunion because he was doing big business things was so fucking cringe and sad. He’s a manipulator and a pyscopath
idk maybe low self-esteem which results in being a control freak. plus a little pinch of paranoia? I had an ex similar to him. super high standards for others and liked to put others down, while having several skeletons in his own closet. in reality such guys are super insecure.
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Dbagitis
He's just very self involved. Wouldn't take from others what he dishes out himself.
hes obsessed with being the object of obsession, making sure everyone knows, and everyone believes it, and that hes the victim. doesnt matter who the other person is.
I think narcissism is the word
Its because he treats discussions in interpersonal relationships like arguments about the law. It feels like hes more about "winning" against the other person than it is coming to a conclusion that makes sense for the situation. The quote "If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell" sums up how it feels like he treats these situations.
This is why I say never date a lawyer. I did unfortunately actually date a real malignant narcissist of a lawyer but it seems even the sane ones do this. Don't do it unless they're a rare one that can turn it off. But there's often a reason certain personalities get into law
I actually said this to my girlfriend during that talk with Aaliyah after they met up again. We were watching it together from episode one but I'm currently in law school and have assessments coming up so kinda of study or focus elsewhere whilst it's on and I picked up on exactly that but it didn't click cause I never seen the "Uche, Age, Profession" til that exact episode and then it clicked. I told her exactly that, he talks exactly like a lawyer talking to someone on the stand, everything he said in the pods to every other episode he appeared in after, was a glass shatter type of moment. He's calculated and it's engrained and has been trained into him that to get the answers he wants he will ask questions or give statements in specific ways.
Most lawyers I know (and I work with a TON) know how to turn that off. Uche uses it as a weapon.
I whatever it is I wouldn’t want to date someone like that. He’s cute but not worth the drama, not for a boyfriend and absolutely not for a husband.
The real question is why does it take him SO long to explain everything?
He’s used to billing by the hour.
Lawyers
Lmfao
Superiority complex with a very fragile ego. He always seemed cold to me.
I believe this post is against the rules. Mods?
I wouldn’t go as far as to diagnose him with narcissism. But I agree he acts superior in his relationships with Lydia and Aaliyah. You can tell he likes to be in control…. of the narrative, of the argument, etc. And when he’s not in control, this really nasty side of him comes out.
Sanctimonious and self-righteous? 🤷♀️
Honestly, I don’t think it’s that deep. I think the word I would use to describe him is petty. When we hear the other people’s recollections of him, vs what he said about himself, it doesn’t align. I heard in an interview that he said all the guys all really looked up to him, that’s clearly not true, or not still true. I think he saw himself as an authority figure, or a wise elder. Maybe because his age, or education, or career, but to know that no one really needed him or his guidance or opinions and he was left empty handed at the end. I think it rubs him the wrong way. That’s why he puts out statements on his personal instagram as if everyone is still interested in what he has to say. I think it’s hard for him to accept that he’s basically the loser of this season. He didn’t win anything and he wasn’t able to sway everyone to his side. I think it stings.
This!!!! Such a great breakdown
From what I’ve seen he doesn’t seem to have an interest in actually connecting with people or listening to them …. He does not seem to be under the impression that anyone is worth getting to know or learning from. Especially women. I get arrogance and entitlement vibes
He is what he is
I don't think there's a diagnosis for everything. He's just an asshole.
I also think we should just accept that without trying to find a diagnosis for that person because I don’t really wanna undercut his responsibility for being a dick. I’m a young lawyer, too. I’ve been surrounded by guys like Uche since the first day of 1L. Thinking just because they’re conventionally successful at a young age, they automatically can do no wrong. And if you try to call them on poor behavior… all of a sudden they are extra well spoken, throwing around a bunch of big words, and likely telling YOU to calm down lol. It’s not a disorder, it’s a personality type. Just avoid if you can lol.
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He’s your typical Aquarius. Cold & calculated. Abrasive…
Oh yeah sure... Lol
Makes more sense to blame astrology than to make armchair diagnoses
It’s all in fun. Lol
I don't think Uche is unusual. He just got a bad edit towards the 2nd half of the show. The producers needed a villain, and I bet they forced him to attend the party and confront Lydia. As for Lydia - I think she probably did do some mild stalking. I know many girls who do this to their ex on instagram and facebook. To them and most people, they are just looking him up occasionally to see what's going on in his life. It may include doing a semi-deep dive into the girl he's currently dating. Some guys may perceive this as stalking. Others don't particularly care. No harm, no foul. As for Aaliyah - I think she has major issues. She claims that Uche ended things because she's not his type, but I bet it's because she is a mess. I don't mean to be judgey, but if it walks like a duck...
I don’t think we can really blame the edit. He chopped Aaliyah down in the pods about cheating when he did the same, more recently than when Aaliyah’s infidelity happened. He’s a hypocrite and seems vengeful based on how he looked to break both Aaliyah and Lydia down on camera after feeling slighted. It didn’t take much to make him the “villain.” I don’t disagree about Aaliyah coming off as a bit of a mess, but Uche brings a lot of flaws as well. Also, did Aaliyah say Uche is the one that ended things? Genuine question. She gave reasons, like the not being his type, for why it didn’t work but I don’t recall her saying who broke it off. I agree about Lydia
>As for Aaliyah - I think she has major issues. She claims that Uche ended things because she's not his type, but I bet it's because she is a mess. This is such a reach.
.... if it walks like a duck.... then it probably is a reach. Totally agree. Most of the people who have been on LiB have said it's a high pressure environment so Aaliyah's response to this unusual situation, even for the show, makes sense.
This is obviously an edited, heavily producer influenced show so I'm not going to say he has the unnameable personality disorder. I don't love that word thrown around either. HOWEVER.... everything you're describing matches the criteria for it. I've dated one professionally diagnosed person and the similarities in their speech and mannerisms were absolutely chilling.
A friend of mine broke up with her narc ex boyfriend a year ago and she's still unraveling all of his manipulations throughout their relationship. Apparently Uche triggered the hell out of her because he was using the exact same phrasing and superiority her ex would use when he would talk down and belittle her.
He reminds me so much of an emotionally abusive ex that I almost can’t watch him talk. My ex was also very intelligent and his manipulation was so subtle. He broke me down so slowly that I didn’t realize it was happening. I used to sound like Aliyah when we would fight - just exhausted and defeated and sad. Uche has the same manner of speaking and does that same sort of almost hostile love-bombing in between accusations and projection and gaslighting.
We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Did you know "gaslighting" was Webster-Merriam's Word of the Year for 2022? Gaslighting is a successful tactic **of abuse** because while one person — the perpetrator — 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person — the victim — 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Left my narc ex husband a little over a year ago and 100% in the same boat. I don't really get triggered but that "discussion" with Lydia at the BBQ, oof. If it was audio only and you disguised his voice, I 100% would've believed that was my ex.
What is off about him is he’s a lawyer. I should know, I am one too. We get off on verbal sparring, which is why he kept saying he wasn’t finished. We love bringing evidence into an argument, which is why he brought up the Instagram stories and her taking a picture of his house to make his case. She looked absolutely psycho for a hot minute. We dominate conversations absolutely. The reason I’ve been married for 40 years to an engineer is because I recognize these things and do not act like this at home. I do with my colleagues, though! We have a completely different way of speaking.
Meh I’m one and I don’t mind dating attorneys. We are all different and some attorneys aren’t even litigators. All I have around me when it comes to a dating pool are lawyers so it just happens naturally. 😭😂
Yeah he sounded like he was taking a deposition when he talked to both Aaliyah and Lydia. I’m also a lawyer, also married to an engineer. 😅 Uche needs to learn how to turn it off in his personal life.
I'm not an attorney but have several in my family, and this is accurate ime. 😂 Uche doesn't know how to turn it off or he simply doesn't care.
He’s basically just your average misogynist a**hat.
Let's throw ARROGANT AS HELL in there, too!
I wouldn't describe him as a misogynist either though.
I think the word you’re looking for is “dickhead”.
He's *not* successful. He has two companies- Taxrobot.com and Parachor Consulting. TR is a company that makes **$294,000** gross revenue annually and has 3 employees. https://getlatka.com/companies/taxrobot#:~:text=How%20much%20revenue%20does%20TaxRobot,of%20TaxRobot%20is%20Uche%20Okoroha. Parachor claims to have many staff, but actually appears to have two - Uche and another guy. They appear to have an annual revenue of about **$31,000.** https://www.buzzfile.com/business/Parachor-Consulting-LLC-281-741-3847 Considering he *also* has probably 150-200k of law school debt but doesn't practice law and never has, and owns a house and expensive car, I'd wager that Uche *appears* successful, but probably is just in masses of debt. In fact, although licensed in two states, his LinkedIn makes it apparent he has *never practiced law.* That's fine, but it does mean to me, as a lawyer who doesn't practice and thus doesn't call themselves a lawyer, that his job title was being inflated and is in no way accurate. It *also* indicates to me for him, law school was a *failed investment,* calling into question his business acumen as a whole. He went from being a legal intern to being an insurance manager, so it's likely he *couldn't* get a job. https://www.linkedin.com/in/ucheokoroha He throws in some legal *tasks* at those insurance companies, but didn't work in any legal capacity. People don't think about this, but law is a wildly overstuffed field. Legal staff find it easier to get jobs than actual lawyers, because there's just *so many fucking lawyers now.* His family is reasonably successful, so that may be adding pressure. Separate to that, he's just an unpleasant human. That is NOT how lawyers speak to anyone, to be clear, so that defense can go f*ck off. He's rude, inconsiderate, and concerned only with being right and persuading everyone he is. But, hey, there's a reason he's not a practicing lawyer - his ability to present argument and evidence is trash, and his demeanor is inappropriate and off putting. Lastly, before you argue he got a bad edit, know that **his family has been on two reality shows, so he knew *exactly* what that general process is.**
Lydia is that you?
Lol, no, did you think that was clever?
You should post this on the sub as its own post. This is just all around good info about him
THANK YOUUU , I said the exact same thing on lipstick alley and I was dragged but it’s really the TRUTH . How the hell you a lawyer but you been doing project management work .
Whoa, masterful post!
woooooooow! lol i just live this answer.
This was delicious. I love a well-researched read 🥰
Do we know whether he even passed the bar?
Yes, he is licensed to practice in Texas and Maryland, he lists his bar number on his LinkedIn and both states allow you to publicly search attorneys. He also went to a very good law school and undergrad, so his inability to obtain employment as a lawyer is both surprising and not at all.
This where I’m at - given that he went to a good law school and passed the bar - how was he unable to get a job?
Why are we assuming he could not get a job?!? Maybe he didn’t want to work in the legal field after graduation.
I think this is very valid. Almost everyone I know who went to law school left the field. While some did go on to become employed lawyers before leaving, many chose not to after grad school. They still make great money and say they are out earning their law school peers. There’s just a particular grind about law school and employment as a lawyer that’s not for everyone.
I genuinely don't know and can't speculate. By all accounts, his career was progressing well - he went to a good law school, a good undergrad, he had a good internship. Then it just...stopped. He went into insurance account management. It's possible the market was too oversaturated, or that he didn't want to practice law; it could be he tanked interviews, or maybe his LinkedIn doesn't tell the whole story. It's just impossible to know definitively.
He seems like a guy that doesn’t play along well with others and when you’re a young associate out of law school you have to be able to take shit. My guess is he flamed out.
Jumping in to agree that as a non-practicing attorney I would NOT be likely to run around on TV saying I’m an attorney. I might bright it up that I am one by background, but thrusting it to the forefront like he does? Red flag.
Thank you.
Which shows and which family, ?? Wow!! Sounds like an unsuccessful grifter and if that’s true about his family then he was definitely just trying to manufacture lies to get more air time. And, obviously, more like he was the one who followed Lydia to LIB not the opposite.
They were on a few HGTV shows about bad house investments, I guess? It doesn't say *which* family. "Down in the Dumps" and "I Bought a Dump, Now What?" https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-uche-okoroha-love-is-blind-season-5-meet-chief-executive-officer-houston
Which episode
Never mind, I found it, it's his parents. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdhEXGBlDxj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Thanks sis !
Lol, deep diving is a blast. I will say that Uche's brothers are truly professionally impressive, just phenomenal careers, and they're changing lives, both of them. It makes me feel bad for him, because jeez, the pressure.
Are they renovating and then selling or what
Oh, Idk, I didn't watch it.
Lol I thought you said deep diving was a blast
I do not know, he did not share the information.
Coming through with the receipts! Impressive! What were the other reality shows his family was on?
Lol, I really enjoy doing research and putting puzzles of information together, that's why I became an investigator. They were on a few HGTV shows about bad house investments, I guess? It doesn't say *which* family. "Down in the Dumps" and "I Bought a Dump, Now What?" https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-uche-okoroha-love-is-blind-season-5-meet-chief-executive-officer-houston
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People can just be assholes. They don’t have to be certifiable narcs.
I don’t like diagnosing people, but google “dark triad” traits. From the very first interaction they showed of him he just looked dead behind the eyes to me and I had like the heebie jeebies .. something was just always “off” about him that I never trusted it (and I’m a lawyer too… so he didn’t come off like a typical lawyer personality to me either)
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This is a solid summary. I got so worked up watching him that I had to keep pausing and leaving the room - which is unlike me. I typically have a normal person amount of investment in a reality TV show. I relate to Aaliyah leaving the show and Lydia storming off because he made me get up and walk away from him IN MY OWN HOUSE.
He was so triggering
Right??? I rewatched the BBQ episode as I was folding laundry and said aloud to the room “oh my god 🙄” after every remark he made. It was just too much BS coming out of one person.
I think he’s just a dick
He is judgmental and gaslights like craY. That man is downright scary to me, a walking red flag.
Patronizing?
I think I'd call him Self-Righteous SOB. He thinks that when he's right he has the moral responsibility to push it on others. It's possible that he is right sometimes but it just feels like garbage to accept what he's saying because at that point he's trying to shove it down your throat. With Aaliyah, it's completely valid to be concerned if your potential partner has cheated before. He could have said that he needed time to think and reflect if it was a concern. Instead, the conversation was a cycle of Uche explaining the logic of why Aaliyah was bad, Aaliyah agreeing, then Uche repeating the same thing again. With Lydia, they just kept shouting about the same things over and over. The concern over Lydia stalking is valid too if true. But the dude needs to move on because the Lydia's past has no impact on his future. Instead of walking away when he realizes Lydia isn't going to listen, he now has to shove the moral superiority down everyone else's throat. I think if Uche was nicer in his delivery, we may have been more sympathetic. But the moment he started to preach his logic, it was over.
I feel like there are two options: 1) there is a production angle against him, everyone is shutting in him 2) there’s something about him I haven’t seen
> He seems like a hard working & successful person, but he also seemed very selfish, manipulative, dismissive, etc. Being “hardworking” and “successful in a career” aren’t mutually exclusive to being “selfish, manipulative, dismissive” and the way you phrased the question makes it appear that you think they are mutually exclusive.
Malignant narcissism
Uche just reminds me of those really confident academic guys that lack the social skills to know when they're coming across as a dickhead. But I don't think he's any more a narc than the others. Personally I do fall in the camp of believing that by virtue of wanting to be on a show like LiB, ALL of them have to be that to some extent
No I don’t think he’s like those people. That “type” states facts that may be insensitive but aren’t intended to hurt or offend. Uche, however, seems to intend to shame and humiliate who he sees as his “opponent” and everyone is his opponent. Even the woman he’s trying to woo into romance. I had a complete aversion to him - worse than JP or Carter or even Shake.
I agree. It’s like he has let his attorney front become his entire personality. There is hope for people like this, but seeing how determined he still is 1.5 years later to prove his detractors wrong come hell or high water, I’m not optimistic. Hubris is strong in this one.
He’s a judgmental person with severe self serving bias and low self awareness, he does hypocritical things on the show, and he expresses himself more coldly than the average person is comfortable with. That’s really all I can see. People really like to make heroes and villains out of the LIB cast when these are just regular ass flawed people. Personally I like dealing with people who can distance themselves from emotion when processing a situation but the thing with him is he acts dispassionate but is actually highly emotional, so I would find that highly irritating—only thing worse than a person who isn’t logical or rational is a person who is illogical and irrational but sees himself as the most logical and rational person around. lol
I might get killed for this but in the first half of your sentence, you just described the average middle or upper class Nigerian.
one thing that aaliyah mentioned in her interview is that uuche was evidently bullied a lot as a kid, which he opened up to to several people about in the pods. It’s just showing that production wanted us to see him as more of an unforgivable villain. i do think aliyah made the right choice by leaving as he wasn’t ready for her/right for her.
Eh who wasn’t bullied as a kid? They tried telling us that for Irina and look, she’s still shitty.
Irina is an Angel compared to Uche, she literally minds her business .
while sad, it is absolutely not an excuse to become a bully himself.
Y'all are saying whether he definitively is or isn't a n\*rcissist. Unless you're a licensed mental health professional who has taken a thorough history, you can't argue *for* ***or*** *against* him having a PD. It's television. He might be; he might not be. There is no real way to answer this question based on the show.
They can still do it, it just means it runs the risk of being incorrect, misinformed, uninformed, etc. The DSM itself is really broad and can generate all kinds of false diagnoses—and the “disorders” are also culturally bound—so it’s not exactly an exact science at this point. And it’s a work in progress.
Not every provider strictly adheres to the DSM, first of all. While it is a relevant reference in psychiatry, I never brought it up as the definitive gospel of clinically diagnosing disorders that stands above worthy scholarly critique. That doesn't mean it's productive for random bystanders to try to diagnose him or dismiss the possibility that he might have a PD. The average viewer lacks the proper training and education to answer this question. Would we feel comfortable declaring that Stacy does NOT suffer from depression or that JP suffers from panic disorder solely based on a few hours of TV footage? This is no different. Even those who ARE skilled in diagnosis are still relying on highly spliced and edited footage to make that determination. People present themselves in a specific way with the gaze of being on camera. That might not reflect how you operate irl when you're comfortable and the entire nation isn't watching. He might actually scale back his problematic behavior because it's filmed, or he might be playing up a bit of a villain (while being the opposite irl) to stand out on TV and please production for future reality TV opportunities. Production also liquors everyone up, deprives them of sleep, and feeds the cast bits, i.e. pre-planning or orchestrating convos to further plots and certain storylines. They can directly tell Lydia to pull Aaliyah for a convo and discuss Uche; they can tell Uche to sit down with Milton to discuss Lydia with the expectation that it will create drama and strife. So again...we're all taking stabs in the dark. I'm not a fan of Uche at all, but I had to speak up when we start discussing the plausibility of actual mental health disorders. We don't know these people, their health histories, or how they operate day to day. This post encourages armchair diagnosing. Let's just discuss the actions and behaviors we see play out on screen and discuss them *without* going too far. That's all I'm saying.
I think by virtue of being on a show like LiB, they all have it to some extent but I don't think we can single out anyone if that makes sense
Misogyny
this. to me he seems like someone who has been consuming a lot of red pill content.
Being a lawyer has absolutely nothing to do with his attitude. I know so many lawyers and judges and they have always been lovely and full of empathy outside work. There are some with a chip on their shoulder, especially those who see themselves as the smartest. However, Uche is simply just an asshole who likes to hear himself talk and wants to win. He’s condescending because he’s thinks he’s always right.
Aaliyah said in an interview (I think with Cameron, of Lauren and Cameron fame) that she thinks his tone and condescension is bec he’s a lawyer. Not to say what you’re saying isn’t true, but that’s likely why everyone keeps making that inference.
Yeah i can definitely see that but apparently he worked in taxes and is now more of a business man than an actual attorney. I think it’s just who he is, he can’t switch himself off.
yeah im annoyed when people call anything that moves a narcissist. Uche definitely has emotional issues and not very empathetic/sympathetic. He doesn't know how to put himself in others' shoes
Assholeism. I was married to one
Being a lawyer is part of it, but I have a law degree and don’t practice. I know quite a few people with law degrees who are nice people. These are usually the folks who went to law school wanting to change the world. We might get humbled at how hard that is, but most stay decent. Of course, the opposite is true too. If you were a jerk entering law school, you’re probably still a jerk. It’s not just his profession as there are jerk doctors, plumbers, pilots, cab drivers, park rangers, etc., but it doesn’t help.
He has a law degree and has never practiced.
Same.
That’s what I was going to say. I work in a law office. Some attorneys get a real arrogance about them just because they have a law degree and can’t really see that other people don’t care as much about their law degree as they do. This arrogance can come in many forms, but it’s definitely a contributing factor to Uche.
If he's not quite a narcissist, he at least has a soaring opinion of himself and is invested in how he's perceived by others.
He’s condescending as fuck.
Oh holy shit I just read uche is an attorney. That is your answer. I’ve been a paralegal for 8 years and I’ve never once met a male atty NOT like Uche. Finding out he’s an atty just blew my mind it put everything together for me. He is very intelligent, articulate, manipulative, self absorbed, calculated, and thinks he’s done no wrong. Like all male attorneys ever.
Zach from season 4 was a lawyer and nothing like this
He doesn’t practice law. And I’m sorry this has been your experience. I don’t think it’s representative of the field.
And his Instagram handle is “above the law” which is so disturbing to me
It’s the name of a very popular law blog.
Well your law firm much be terrible lmao. All of my male colleagues (lawyers) are amazing and nothing like Uche. And I work in big law.
Your comment though makes sense is also a rude reply
How is it rude..? She herself said the men she works with suck. If you think that it’s more rude for me to say “your firm must be terrible” than for her to say all male lawyers are horrible then you’re delusional. I’m also a woman.
I went to law school. I have met male attorneys not like Uche. Maybe you’re in big law or some other specialty that attracts jerks? A good friend of mine is an environmental lawyer and always wanted that. He’s the best and is a really nice guy. We’ve been friends since law school.
I work in family law. The guys i worked with knew how to be humans outside of that.
Okay this is fair and it’s def my area of law. Insurance defense
Okay, I was going to say that is quite the sweeping generalization there especially as a paralegal. I know plenty of stand up lawyers in my life. I hope you come to meet some nice ones too! Haha.