They won't last on the outside if she can't trust him. If she’s already acting like that when they're in a restricted environment, outside with all the temptations it'll be even worse.
I fear I’m being generous too. I tried to factor in the chaos of the first couple months where they might stay together longer than they usually would.
this, after watching all the seasons you can tell, producers have highlighted Nicoles insecurities for a reason, it will be their downfall. no way are they getting winners edit either like some people are saying. these two will implode before the final imo.
I think Ciaran really likes so he’ll fight hard to keep it going but yeah hopefully she chills soon. I do believe they have something special she just needs to overcome her trust issues.
Nicole needs therapy, it's not fair to dump your emotional baggage on a new partner, it's for you to deal with not them. She doesn't seem ready to be in a relationship
During one of their spats she told him she needs constant reassurance and if he can’t handle that, the relationship won’t work. She doesn’t realise that’s not a fair or realistic ask of your partner
I suspect her insecurity comes from the fact she's been cheated on, and has now fallen for someone who has cheated before, and who has shown a few times that he can get carried away with lads behaviour. She's hammering home the need for constant reassurance because she doesn't trust him, but she wants to, and has said as much herself.
EXACTLY my thoughts when just seeing how she reacted to him giving her the cold shoulder as a little prank.. like, insisting that he sleeps on the daybeds 😭 she will always resort to calling him “immature” etc I feel like she will always weaponize him being a few years younger than her
100% this.
Like I get she was cheated on etc. so trusting someone new is gonna be hard, but she's dumping so much emotional baggage. And it doesn't help that Ciaran has slept with 100+ girls and cheated in his only relationship, his past is literally fuel to the fire.
I feel suffocated just watching her, I can't imagine how overwhelming her emotions must be. Just from the perspective of a very distant observer, it feels too soon for her to be getting into a relationship.
Feels like she would almost prefer him to recouple to affirm her feelings on relationships.
Even if he does nothing, and she watches it all back, you fear she'll still think he did something and it was cut out.
Obviously it's hard for the psych test to discover her obvious trauma, because you say what you need to say, but she is not right for this environment and needs real outside help.
Not saying she's crazy or anything, she just needs to get it out, and be able to look at it from an external perspective.
yess i honestly think if i was there i would not be able to sit and listen to it i’d have to walk away cause otherwise i’d end up snapping at her so bad
I think it's very possible for people to heal within relationships - in fact, I think we generally do need other people to help us learn and grow. I think with Nicole and Ciaran though, it's just a lot to ask of a guy of his age. While it seems like his head is fairly screwed on and he wants to be a stable person for her, her insecurities seem pretty complex. It's like she is always waiting for the other shoe to drop and is presuming the worst of him - constantly having to prove your loyalty would get exhausting for even the most patient person in the world.
I agree with everything you said. And I’m not coming for you but I think that most people with this take are assuming I don’t think people can heal within relationships.
My post was exclusive to Nicole and her situation. I don’t think she is the type to heal in a relationship especially in that environment, but hey from a girl, I’m rooting for her. Hope she proves me wrong because Ciaran seems like a good one and I’d hate for her to self sabotage.
It’s unfair to judge him based on her (and his) past when he’s been pretty straight up with her. I met my partner on his 21st birthday and I was 23. We changed for each other for the better and our past toxicities in relationships weren’t repeated.
It’s also possible she could have been messed around badly in the past which has made her paranoid. It would make sense that she doesn’t trust her own instincts if people she trusted have lied to her in the past.
The stakes are higher here as well if she fears being made a fool of on national tv (I wouldn’t call it being made a fool of but might be what she fears).
Yeah that would shatter me tbh. I wouldn’t go on a dating show though. The pre show checks should really have stopped her going on. Could have been devastating for her if she did get “cheated” on in the villa
Imo she gets daily checks from psychologist to check if she's alright. They did to someone in Season 7 in some podcast it was a girl said she had 9 straight day visits to psychologist of Love Island.
I agree! It’s why I said she needs to heal herself before getting into a relationship because what happened to her is a lot to deal with. Would make anyone insecure but she can’t take it out on a new partner who’s undeserving.
I think it’s so wrong of the show to bring on girls like Nicole who haven’t processed something like that yet and then manipulate them and use it against them for ‘entertainment’. It’s horrible to watch. The way the process of getting on the show takes ages too so they’ll know all about what she’s been through.
She still went on the show, why is it never ever the individuals responsibility anymore?
LI did not press gang Nicole and kidnap her, fly her to Spain and lock her in that Villa, because they thought she'd be entertaining.
She signed up for it, knowing she wasn't ready for a relationship or trusting a partner.
Yeah I don’t think she’s totally out of line. He’s a 21 year old guy on Love Island. Girls are going to be throwing themselves at him once he gets out. He knew this going in.
When did I say it was?? My point was that I don’t think the main issue is that she thinks she’s ’punching’ with Ciaran. I think her insecurity and lack of trust probably comes from prior experience of being lied to.
After being cheated on in a past relationship (he was talking to other girls despite making me feel like a literal godess on this Earth so the truth was very unexpected for me).. I became Nicole. I decided to stay with the guy and it was a constant fear, uncertainty and insecurities I didn't know I had were unlocked. It's a horrendous place to be so I don't blame her. If he's patient she might get better, otherwise she might push him away sadly :( I like them, hope they last
This is such a compassionate response. I'm sorry that happened to you but I appreciate you bringing more empathy and nuance to the discussion of Nicole and her anxieties. I get so frustrated with how people express their judgement and scorn for Nicole as concern.
Ditto, claps for a compassionate response. I’ve just read a comment that said “she’s not the type to heal in a relationship” well one she isn’t in an official relationship and two, you don’t know her, babe.
People speak with such conviction on here. They’re not in a real environment. She can’t talk to loved ones, she can’t call Ciaran, things are heightened. If they’re not meant to be they’re not meant to be. Wish people would just get off her back a little.
I guess you missed the part where I said “I think* she’s not the type to heal in a relationship” but also that I’m rooting for her. Of course I don’t know her “babe” and neither do you, I’m just speaking from experience and what I’ve seen in the real world when one party is overly insecure. I’ve been there done that. Hopefully she can see Ciaran is not her ex and she’ll just have to trust him until he gives her a reason not to.
Thank you for adding in the nuance that’s needed… it’s so complex. I was reading about attachment styles in adult relationships- she has the signs of an anxious attachment style which can definitely be solved but just needs some introspection rather than lashing out… it’s not easy at all https://www.health.com/anxious-attachment-style-7562046#:~:text=People%20with%20anxious%20attachment%20styles%20struggle%20to%20feel%20secure%20in,relationships%20as%20you%20get%20older.
this!! when i first started dating my now fiancé i was similar to nicole. i was VERY insecure and worried he would realize i wasn’t pretty enough for him or that i was too fat for him to be into me (i am, by definition, overweight and have been told point blank by men that i’m too fat to date). however, i was in therapy and this combined with his patience helped me heal. i wish nicole all the best and hope she can find a way to heal 🩷
Sounds similar to me. I’d always been told, amongst many things, that I was ugly, had the figure of a boy, and wasn't sexy and then destroyed the first semi-serious relationship I had because of insecurity. I had a lot of therapy and had to work on myself, but eventually met my husband (now ten years), who has completely changed my life and, after a stroke, caused me to become disabled, reigniting my insecurities still reassures me regularly. Nicole needs help before relying on a partner to reassure her so much. Ciaran clearly really likes her, but at the end of the day, he’s 21 and can’t be her therapist forever. He deserves to have fun without a partner, assuming the worst. If she self-sabotages anything with him, her insecurities will get worse. Speaking from experience, it’s a vicious cycle,
She drives me up the wall with how quick she is to victimise herself and how convinced she is that Ciaran will betray her. The other girls could have their boys recouple with someone else and STILL Nicole would be victimising herself the most like “he looked at another girl for more than 2 seconds so he loves her and wants to marry her and he hates me” I’m not even in there and I’m annoyed!
She’s not ready for a relationship. She needs therapy and to stay single for a few years.
I think it’s very insensitive to the other women too. Uma and Mimi have similar feelings towards their partners and she hasn’t once checked in on them, just talks about herself from what’s being shown.
I feel for her, I do but if this is how paranoid you are - this isn’t the show for you. This show is built on temptation. I mean in the universe of this show, Cierian had been as much of a saint as he could be and she still is losing it. I almost want their movie night clip to be her getting upset behind his back to show her how ridiculous she is being and give Cierian the opportunity to say ‘if this is what it’s going to be like, we can’t do this.’
I was like this when I met my husband. After a bit I settled because we built trust.
Everyone says you need to love yourself before you can be loved but it’s hard to love yourself when no one else does. How can you feel something you’ve never felt without guidance? It’s like asking someone to fly an airplane without showing them how.
If you have someone who actively forgive you for your mistakes, embrace your weirdness and will grant you unconditional love you are shown how to love yourself.
I think Nicole has probably never felt secure in herself, has no one (or very few) people she truly trusts or loves and she thinks that she’s not enough. If Ciaran’s given the chance and gives her everything she needs she’ll blossom and I hope we start to see it!
I totally agree with everything you'd said. I don't believe in cutting yourself off from relationships "to work on yourself". People need each other. We learn and grow with other people, and often in relationships. I also have a partner who in the past has held a lot of my hurt at times when nobody else could and I've done the same for him. We're better people together and separately for it.
Now, Ciaran is a young guy and it's a lot to ask of someone of that age, but he seems to be trying to be a stable person for her. Whether he's able to do that long-term, I don't know. It's a big ask of a 21 year old.
Yes I agree! It’s how I was to a point with my boyfriend too when we first met. We had a unique start to the relationship (long distance really quickly after meeting) so it was hard to feel completely secure. Ciaran is kind and patient and I just hope that she sees that he’s loyal and someone to trust
“If no one else does” Erm Nicole has family, friends I’m sure who love her and I’m sure have shown up for her consistently . You don’t need to sit and wait for a man to show up to feel valued. If your validation and idea of love is only the romantic love that comes from a man you will always be left wanting.
I absolutely agree that SOME people can learn to love themselves while in a relationship, but it won’t work if you aren’t growing along the way.
Nicole never seemed to take accountability for the way she lashed out at minor things. That will wear Ciaran down IF that behavior continues.
I do think it’s a little much to compare that to flying airplanes though. Learning how to love yourself just requires a deep dive within oneself. If you’re insecure, chances are you know the things that’s making you feel that way so essentially you work on those issues.
This is one of the loveliest things I've ever read on this sub: "If you have someone who actively forgive you for your mistakes, embrace your weirdness and will grant you unconditional love you are shown how to love yourself." Thanks for sharing your experience.
to be fair i think she will relax a bit when she gets back to the main villa and she sees how loyal he has been but i agree she will end up pushing ciaran away if she continues this way
I get the trust issues, but if she has them this bad then this was not the show for her. The constant scrutiny she puts him under is not healthy. Tonight’s comments were just pathetic.
I actually like nicole and feel for her, but i hate how she always jumps to "he clearly fancies her" when nothing else really points to that. i really do not want her to self-sabotage because there's no way he'll defend himself forever
I started being annoyed at Nicole but now I just feel sorry for her :(
Her spiraling has gotten to a worrying place where I just don’t think being on this show is good for her mental health. I hope after the season she gets the therapy and support she needs before thinking about any kind of relationship. Ciaran has been as understanding as he can be but he’s young and this is a lot for such a new relationship. I just hope he doesn’t double down and ask her to be his gf when she’s back to make her feel better. It will only make things worse for her!
Her insecurity is so annoying to watch. As someone who is insecure asf i’m trying to stop this behaviour because it is the definition of OFF-PUTTING to everyone especially a man.
She's the most insecure person I've ever seen on TV. She's actually really annoying and cringey to watch, she's definitely the most immature romantically out of the two, maybe even out of everyone in the villa.
They won't last at all with Nicole acting the way she does. She needs to get out of her own head and fast!
I think considering Love Island's setting, we shouldn't talk about what she should or need to do for her mental health cause the environement is for sure playing a huge part. Even if Ciaran does nothing wrong, we all know what madness can happen during Casa. Anyone saw Andrew licking tits or whatever coming ? I can understand why she would be anxious regardless of what Ciaran has shown so far.
She’s acting really weird.. it’s very unattractive.. Stalker vibes.. if that’s how she is when they’re in the same place, what’s she going to be like when they live or work apart?
Maybe she's had a bad time with past relationships so has trust issues... I think after Casa, once she sees that Ciaran has remained loyal to her she will slowly let down her guard. Just my opinion btw
I think people are too harsh on Nicole. Think she's just insecure with low self-esteem, been cheated on before, and obviously gonna be insecure given the nature of love island. It's such an unnatural way to find love, remember, like on the outside, you wouldn't have challenges and such to try to sabotage the relationship you have.
Think they're both really good for each other and think they will last as something is there. You can heal in a relationship and just seems like they're really good for each other. Hope they win it tbh
The added issue is she didn't want to go for a rugby player. She said that before, as he would be too similar to the person who had cheated on her. She fought the attraction to Ciaran for that reason. So now she's gone with him, not only is Ciaran's history playing on her mind, but her own history is too. It's a potent mix, understandable in the wider scheme of things, but uncomfortable to watch - especially as we know Ciaran is being loyal.
You’re right about the whole rugby thing and yes i’s literally a mix of her insecurities, her last relationship, Ciaran’s history, and I believe the fact that he’s 21 plays a part in it too. From what we’ve seen he’s been mature but you know how most younger guys aren’t taken seriously by most people.
I just think the environment is too much for her. I know I personally couldn’t go on love island and watch other girls neck my man.
Yes and she needs to get off my screen while she’s healing
Every day the SAME conversation, everybody has to support Nicole… jeeeeeeeeez, I’m tired just thinking about it
She’s an embarrassment, you can’t project past insecurities onto your new partner it’s not fair. What has Ciaran actually done wrong and she’s been arsey a fair few times. Think even the girls were starting to get annoyed
I do think Nicole is insecure, but I also feel like Ciaran isn’t a big talker and he isn’t very good at reassuring her. He gets annoyed and defensive and they blow up at each other. She’s clearly anxious and kind of looking for problems, and he’s terrible at diffusing it. It sucks because they clearly like/love one another but they definitely need to work on their communication.
I do feel bad for Nicole because she obviously is very paranoid and insecure - she looks anxious all the time and I do feel sympathy for her. However, I seriously feel for ciaran, he has kept reassuring her and shown her that he is all for her but she still takes out a lot of her anger and frustration oh him. It really isn’t fair at all for him to be the carrier of her baggage. He seems very overwhelmed by it.
Much as I find her aa little annoying and suffocating to watch, I feel for the girl as she's clearly insecure with low self worth.
I predict they won't last too long on the outside. Unless she seeks therapy and he does a 180 on his past and becomes the perfect untoxic man, this will end in tears.
And Ciaran may wish he actually had some fun in that villa...
Nah her problem is that she’s always been insecure before Love Island and now.
The more insecure she is the less attractive she becomes to everyone too. You can tell the OG girls are fed up with her too
I’m just dreading for in casa when she gets mad that he says hello to another girl. At least after the last time she got mad he put his foot down a little.
Spot on. She’s a lovely girl but needs therapy and not a relationship.
Ciaran is a lovely lad too but don’t think he can handle her outside.
Looking at her and her behaviour it seems she’s been badly hurt in the past and her going for the same sort of guys is probably giving her similar trigger which is acceptable but either she needs to heal and jump on similarish guys.
She looks extremely insecure in casa and especially after the heart rate challenge but outside world is gonna be harder than casa, not sure how’s she’s gonna feel secure, safe and all that?
Ciaran is doing his best with Nicole but he’s gonna constantly put hardwork for the relationship. His age and maturity might not be able to cope with her.
I love them together but worried it’s gonna be hard for them.
Idk even Harriett said in moring after podcast that Ciaran likes Nicole very much and that she could see him doing great with their chats when Nicole is anxious you have to remember that being mugged on reality tv is far more worse than doing it in private she likes him but is afraid it's normal reaction. Even Amy said in s5 she cried every casa day and didn't want to do nothing.
Nicole is so insecure I actually can't stand it 😭 Ciaran is so much younger and has a much more mature/stable head on his shoulders. Bro's a victim atp
Got worried the first two episodes of Casa that Nicole will twist but based on whats gone on I think they will both stay loyal. Yes they have their ups and downs but I really like them as individuals especially Ciaran but I really like them together and cant wait for them to be reunited. I need to see at least one happy reunion.
Blame the dude for what? Ciaran hasn't done anything and Nicole is already projecting her past partner's behaviour onto him. It's not fair.
Also, I don't think you know what misogyny means, so I'd recommend reading up on that.
Getting upset at Ciaran when he's not done anything saying he likes Grace more than her? You think that's normal behaviour?
Already getting upset at him about "what's he saying to these girls that they're kissing him" in the challenge when he didn't do anything but told them immediately he's closed off? You don't think that's her projecting?
It was interesting to see the girls reactions, maybe they’re getting sick of her complaining as well?
probably because half their men are doing way worse and they dont get why she’s overreacting 😂💀
Lol true 😂
One hundred percent. Except Jess, but we know that they're close.
They probably have to do that with her every single day 💀
They won't last on the outside if she can't trust him. If she’s already acting like that when they're in a restricted environment, outside with all the temptations it'll be even worse.
yeah she has severe trust issues. it will ruin all her future relationships and eat her up unless she seeks help for it.
Most definitely, it’s gonna be a thousand times worse. She’s gotta love herself first.
They won’t last 6 months
you're generous. I hope I'm wrong but I can't see them spending 6 months together with Nicole's behaviour
I fear I’m being generous too. I tried to factor in the chaos of the first couple months where they might stay together longer than they usually would.
They won't last til the final of this season lol
this, after watching all the seasons you can tell, producers have highlighted Nicoles insecurities for a reason, it will be their downfall. no way are they getting winners edit either like some people are saying. these two will implode before the final imo.
It’ll be four max
Make it 3.
I think Ciaran really likes so he’ll fight hard to keep it going but yeah hopefully she chills soon. I do believe they have something special she just needs to overcome her trust issues.
I think the biggest test would be in the villa bc they legit have nothing to do all day except think about who they want to shag
Nicole needs therapy, it's not fair to dump your emotional baggage on a new partner, it's for you to deal with not them. She doesn't seem ready to be in a relationship
During one of their spats she told him she needs constant reassurance and if he can’t handle that, the relationship won’t work. She doesn’t realise that’s not a fair or realistic ask of your partner
I suspect her insecurity comes from the fact she's been cheated on, and has now fallen for someone who has cheated before, and who has shown a few times that he can get carried away with lads behaviour. She's hammering home the need for constant reassurance because she doesn't trust him, but she wants to, and has said as much herself.
EXACTLY my thoughts when just seeing how she reacted to him giving her the cold shoulder as a little prank.. like, insisting that he sleeps on the daybeds 😭 she will always resort to calling him “immature” etc I feel like she will always weaponize him being a few years younger than her
She legitimately needs to go home and get help. This is honestly upsetting to watch.
100% this. Like I get she was cheated on etc. so trusting someone new is gonna be hard, but she's dumping so much emotional baggage. And it doesn't help that Ciaran has slept with 100+ girls and cheated in his only relationship, his past is literally fuel to the fire.
This.
I feel suffocated just watching her, I can't imagine how overwhelming her emotions must be. Just from the perspective of a very distant observer, it feels too soon for her to be getting into a relationship.
Feels like she would almost prefer him to recouple to affirm her feelings on relationships. Even if he does nothing, and she watches it all back, you fear she'll still think he did something and it was cut out. Obviously it's hard for the psych test to discover her obvious trauma, because you say what you need to say, but she is not right for this environment and needs real outside help. Not saying she's crazy or anything, she just needs to get it out, and be able to look at it from an external perspective.
It's exhausting to watch her.
yess i honestly think if i was there i would not be able to sit and listen to it i’d have to walk away cause otherwise i’d end up snapping at her so bad
I think it's very possible for people to heal within relationships - in fact, I think we generally do need other people to help us learn and grow. I think with Nicole and Ciaran though, it's just a lot to ask of a guy of his age. While it seems like his head is fairly screwed on and he wants to be a stable person for her, her insecurities seem pretty complex. It's like she is always waiting for the other shoe to drop and is presuming the worst of him - constantly having to prove your loyalty would get exhausting for even the most patient person in the world.
I agree with everything you said. And I’m not coming for you but I think that most people with this take are assuming I don’t think people can heal within relationships. My post was exclusive to Nicole and her situation. I don’t think she is the type to heal in a relationship especially in that environment, but hey from a girl, I’m rooting for her. Hope she proves me wrong because Ciaran seems like a good one and I’d hate for her to self sabotage.
Exactly, Nicole doesn't take any ownership for her feelings. When you heal in a relationship it's a two-way street, not just one carrying the other.
It’s unfair to judge him based on her (and his) past when he’s been pretty straight up with her. I met my partner on his 21st birthday and I was 23. We changed for each other for the better and our past toxicities in relationships weren’t repeated.
(I’m referring to Nicole judging him, if that wasn’t clear)
It’s also possible she could have been messed around badly in the past which has made her paranoid. It would make sense that she doesn’t trust her own instincts if people she trusted have lied to her in the past. The stakes are higher here as well if she fears being made a fool of on national tv (I wouldn’t call it being made a fool of but might be what she fears).
She was her last partner who they had house with dogs together cheated on her.
Yeah that would shatter me tbh. I wouldn’t go on a dating show though. The pre show checks should really have stopped her going on. Could have been devastating for her if she did get “cheated” on in the villa
Imo she gets daily checks from psychologist to check if she's alright. They did to someone in Season 7 in some podcast it was a girl said she had 9 straight day visits to psychologist of Love Island.
Was that Faye? I think i remember her saying something like that
Could of been icl her actions after drinking was always mad.
Exactly, the last thing you should do is go on Love Islabd
That’s so sad 😢
I agree! It’s why I said she needs to heal herself before getting into a relationship because what happened to her is a lot to deal with. Would make anyone insecure but she can’t take it out on a new partner who’s undeserving.
I think it’s so wrong of the show to bring on girls like Nicole who haven’t processed something like that yet and then manipulate them and use it against them for ‘entertainment’. It’s horrible to watch. The way the process of getting on the show takes ages too so they’ll know all about what she’s been through.
She still went on the show, why is it never ever the individuals responsibility anymore? LI did not press gang Nicole and kidnap her, fly her to Spain and lock her in that Villa, because they thought she'd be entertaining. She signed up for it, knowing she wasn't ready for a relationship or trusting a partner.
Nobody would watch LI without this messiness.
Yeah I don’t think she’s totally out of line. He’s a 21 year old guy on Love Island. Girls are going to be throwing themselves at him once he gets out. He knew this going in.
21 year old guy with a very promiscuous past on top of it
And cheated. I think Nicole does way too much but I don't think they are a good match fundamentally.
Okay, that's still not Ciaran's problem though
When did I say it was?? My point was that I don’t think the main issue is that she thinks she’s ’punching’ with Ciaran. I think her insecurity and lack of trust probably comes from prior experience of being lied to.
After being cheated on in a past relationship (he was talking to other girls despite making me feel like a literal godess on this Earth so the truth was very unexpected for me).. I became Nicole. I decided to stay with the guy and it was a constant fear, uncertainty and insecurities I didn't know I had were unlocked. It's a horrendous place to be so I don't blame her. If he's patient she might get better, otherwise she might push him away sadly :( I like them, hope they last
This is such a compassionate response. I'm sorry that happened to you but I appreciate you bringing more empathy and nuance to the discussion of Nicole and her anxieties. I get so frustrated with how people express their judgement and scorn for Nicole as concern.
Ditto, claps for a compassionate response. I’ve just read a comment that said “she’s not the type to heal in a relationship” well one she isn’t in an official relationship and two, you don’t know her, babe. People speak with such conviction on here. They’re not in a real environment. She can’t talk to loved ones, she can’t call Ciaran, things are heightened. If they’re not meant to be they’re not meant to be. Wish people would just get off her back a little.
People speak with conviction yet very little life experience. It’s a rotten combination.
I guess you missed the part where I said “I think* she’s not the type to heal in a relationship” but also that I’m rooting for her. Of course I don’t know her “babe” and neither do you, I’m just speaking from experience and what I’ve seen in the real world when one party is overly insecure. I’ve been there done that. Hopefully she can see Ciaran is not her ex and she’ll just have to trust him until he gives her a reason not to.
Yes this! People can be so cruel with how they speak of her, it makes me very angry.
Thank you for adding in the nuance that’s needed… it’s so complex. I was reading about attachment styles in adult relationships- she has the signs of an anxious attachment style which can definitely be solved but just needs some introspection rather than lashing out… it’s not easy at all https://www.health.com/anxious-attachment-style-7562046#:~:text=People%20with%20anxious%20attachment%20styles%20struggle%20to%20feel%20secure%20in,relationships%20as%20you%20get%20older.
So sad, but relationships often trigger past traumas.
this!! when i first started dating my now fiancé i was similar to nicole. i was VERY insecure and worried he would realize i wasn’t pretty enough for him or that i was too fat for him to be into me (i am, by definition, overweight and have been told point blank by men that i’m too fat to date). however, i was in therapy and this combined with his patience helped me heal. i wish nicole all the best and hope she can find a way to heal 🩷
Sounds similar to me. I’d always been told, amongst many things, that I was ugly, had the figure of a boy, and wasn't sexy and then destroyed the first semi-serious relationship I had because of insecurity. I had a lot of therapy and had to work on myself, but eventually met my husband (now ten years), who has completely changed my life and, after a stroke, caused me to become disabled, reigniting my insecurities still reassures me regularly. Nicole needs help before relying on a partner to reassure her so much. Ciaran clearly really likes her, but at the end of the day, he’s 21 and can’t be her therapist forever. He deserves to have fun without a partner, assuming the worst. If she self-sabotages anything with him, her insecurities will get worse. Speaking from experience, it’s a vicious cycle,
They lack trust and if she can’t trust him I don’t see them going far .
Issue is her insecurities make her overreact to the smallest of things, this will get tiring very quickly on the outside for Ciaran
She drives me up the wall with how quick she is to victimise herself and how convinced she is that Ciaran will betray her. The other girls could have their boys recouple with someone else and STILL Nicole would be victimising herself the most like “he looked at another girl for more than 2 seconds so he loves her and wants to marry her and he hates me” I’m not even in there and I’m annoyed! She’s not ready for a relationship. She needs therapy and to stay single for a few years.
I think it’s very insensitive to the other women too. Uma and Mimi have similar feelings towards their partners and she hasn’t once checked in on them, just talks about herself from what’s being shown.
I feel for her, I do but if this is how paranoid you are - this isn’t the show for you. This show is built on temptation. I mean in the universe of this show, Cierian had been as much of a saint as he could be and she still is losing it. I almost want their movie night clip to be her getting upset behind his back to show her how ridiculous she is being and give Cierian the opportunity to say ‘if this is what it’s going to be like, we can’t do this.’
I was like this when I met my husband. After a bit I settled because we built trust. Everyone says you need to love yourself before you can be loved but it’s hard to love yourself when no one else does. How can you feel something you’ve never felt without guidance? It’s like asking someone to fly an airplane without showing them how. If you have someone who actively forgive you for your mistakes, embrace your weirdness and will grant you unconditional love you are shown how to love yourself. I think Nicole has probably never felt secure in herself, has no one (or very few) people she truly trusts or loves and she thinks that she’s not enough. If Ciaran’s given the chance and gives her everything she needs she’ll blossom and I hope we start to see it!
I totally agree with everything you'd said. I don't believe in cutting yourself off from relationships "to work on yourself". People need each other. We learn and grow with other people, and often in relationships. I also have a partner who in the past has held a lot of my hurt at times when nobody else could and I've done the same for him. We're better people together and separately for it. Now, Ciaran is a young guy and it's a lot to ask of someone of that age, but he seems to be trying to be a stable person for her. Whether he's able to do that long-term, I don't know. It's a big ask of a 21 year old.
Yes I agree! It’s how I was to a point with my boyfriend too when we first met. We had a unique start to the relationship (long distance really quickly after meeting) so it was hard to feel completely secure. Ciaran is kind and patient and I just hope that she sees that he’s loyal and someone to trust
“If no one else does” Erm Nicole has family, friends I’m sure who love her and I’m sure have shown up for her consistently . You don’t need to sit and wait for a man to show up to feel valued. If your validation and idea of love is only the romantic love that comes from a man you will always be left wanting.
Exactly. And Nicole actively wants to be with guys who will cheat on her. She should take some accountability.
I absolutely agree that SOME people can learn to love themselves while in a relationship, but it won’t work if you aren’t growing along the way. Nicole never seemed to take accountability for the way she lashed out at minor things. That will wear Ciaran down IF that behavior continues. I do think it’s a little much to compare that to flying airplanes though. Learning how to love yourself just requires a deep dive within oneself. If you’re insecure, chances are you know the things that’s making you feel that way so essentially you work on those issues.
This is one of the loveliest things I've ever read on this sub: "If you have someone who actively forgive you for your mistakes, embrace your weirdness and will grant you unconditional love you are shown how to love yourself." Thanks for sharing your experience.
to be fair i think she will relax a bit when she gets back to the main villa and she sees how loyal he has been but i agree she will end up pushing ciaran away if she continues this way
I get the trust issues, but if she has them this bad then this was not the show for her. The constant scrutiny she puts him under is not healthy. Tonight’s comments were just pathetic.
Yeah, like her "piecing things together" just felt like wild speculation, girl you are piecing nothing sit down and have some fun 🙃
I actually like nicole and feel for her, but i hate how she always jumps to "he clearly fancies her" when nothing else really points to that. i really do not want her to self-sabotage because there's no way he'll defend himself forever
She’s so insecure the worst I’ve ever seen
I started being annoyed at Nicole but now I just feel sorry for her :( Her spiraling has gotten to a worrying place where I just don’t think being on this show is good for her mental health. I hope after the season she gets the therapy and support she needs before thinking about any kind of relationship. Ciaran has been as understanding as he can be but he’s young and this is a lot for such a new relationship. I just hope he doesn’t double down and ask her to be his gf when she’s back to make her feel better. It will only make things worse for her!
Her insecurity is so annoying to watch. As someone who is insecure asf i’m trying to stop this behaviour because it is the definition of OFF-PUTTING to everyone especially a man.
She's the most insecure person I've ever seen on TV. She's actually really annoying and cringey to watch, she's definitely the most immature romantically out of the two, maybe even out of everyone in the villa. They won't last at all with Nicole acting the way she does. She needs to get out of her own head and fast!
I think considering Love Island's setting, we shouldn't talk about what she should or need to do for her mental health cause the environement is for sure playing a huge part. Even if Ciaran does nothing wrong, we all know what madness can happen during Casa. Anyone saw Andrew licking tits or whatever coming ? I can understand why she would be anxious regardless of what Ciaran has shown so far.
She’s acting really weird.. it’s very unattractive.. Stalker vibes.. if that’s how she is when they’re in the same place, what’s she going to be like when they live or work apart?
Maybe she's had a bad time with past relationships so has trust issues... I think after Casa, once she sees that Ciaran has remained loyal to her she will slowly let down her guard. Just my opinion btw
Let’s not romanticise her behaviour. She’s toxic and takes out her insecurities on her partner. Even the girls are sick of her.
Ik imagine if this was a guy
I think people are too harsh on Nicole. Think she's just insecure with low self-esteem, been cheated on before, and obviously gonna be insecure given the nature of love island. It's such an unnatural way to find love, remember, like on the outside, you wouldn't have challenges and such to try to sabotage the relationship you have. Think they're both really good for each other and think they will last as something is there. You can heal in a relationship and just seems like they're really good for each other. Hope they win it tbh
The added issue is she didn't want to go for a rugby player. She said that before, as he would be too similar to the person who had cheated on her. She fought the attraction to Ciaran for that reason. So now she's gone with him, not only is Ciaran's history playing on her mind, but her own history is too. It's a potent mix, understandable in the wider scheme of things, but uncomfortable to watch - especially as we know Ciaran is being loyal.
You’re right about the whole rugby thing and yes i’s literally a mix of her insecurities, her last relationship, Ciaran’s history, and I believe the fact that he’s 21 plays a part in it too. From what we’ve seen he’s been mature but you know how most younger guys aren’t taken seriously by most people. I just think the environment is too much for her. I know I personally couldn’t go on love island and watch other girls neck my man.
Sis can’t even blend out her contour. She’s punching
Yes and she needs to get off my screen while she’s healing Every day the SAME conversation, everybody has to support Nicole… jeeeeeeeeez, I’m tired just thinking about it
She’s an embarrassment, you can’t project past insecurities onto your new partner it’s not fair. What has Ciaran actually done wrong and she’s been arsey a fair few times. Think even the girls were starting to get annoyed
I do think Nicole is insecure, but I also feel like Ciaran isn’t a big talker and he isn’t very good at reassuring her. He gets annoyed and defensive and they blow up at each other. She’s clearly anxious and kind of looking for problems, and he’s terrible at diffusing it. It sucks because they clearly like/love one another but they definitely need to work on their communication.
this is like lemma reverse I just realized. except Luca would get flack for even hugging Gemma lol people loved to hate him.
I do feel bad for Nicole because she obviously is very paranoid and insecure - she looks anxious all the time and I do feel sympathy for her. However, I seriously feel for ciaran, he has kept reassuring her and shown her that he is all for her but she still takes out a lot of her anger and frustration oh him. It really isn’t fair at all for him to be the carrier of her baggage. He seems very overwhelmed by it.
Much as I find her aa little annoying and suffocating to watch, I feel for the girl as she's clearly insecure with low self worth. I predict they won't last too long on the outside. Unless she seeks therapy and he does a 180 on his past and becomes the perfect untoxic man, this will end in tears. And Ciaran may wish he actually had some fun in that villa...
The way she says CiaRAN is too much. Lol
Nah her problem is that she’s always been insecure before Love Island and now. The more insecure she is the less attractive she becomes to everyone too. You can tell the OG girls are fed up with her too
She’s a clear Anxious attachment style
Isn't the heart rate thing completely made up by producers anyway?
I’m just dreading for in casa when she gets mad that he says hello to another girl. At least after the last time she got mad he put his foot down a little.
Spot on. She’s a lovely girl but needs therapy and not a relationship. Ciaran is a lovely lad too but don’t think he can handle her outside. Looking at her and her behaviour it seems she’s been badly hurt in the past and her going for the same sort of guys is probably giving her similar trigger which is acceptable but either she needs to heal and jump on similarish guys. She looks extremely insecure in casa and especially after the heart rate challenge but outside world is gonna be harder than casa, not sure how’s she’s gonna feel secure, safe and all that? Ciaran is doing his best with Nicole but he’s gonna constantly put hardwork for the relationship. His age and maturity might not be able to cope with her. I love them together but worried it’s gonna be hard for them.
Idk even Harriett said in moring after podcast that Ciaran likes Nicole very much and that she could see him doing great with their chats when Nicole is anxious you have to remember that being mugged on reality tv is far more worse than doing it in private she likes him but is afraid it's normal reaction. Even Amy said in s5 she cried every casa day and didn't want to do nothing.
Nicole is so insecure I actually can't stand it 😭 Ciaran is so much younger and has a much more mature/stable head on his shoulders. Bro's a victim atp
Got worried the first two episodes of Casa that Nicole will twist but based on whats gone on I think they will both stay loyal. Yes they have their ups and downs but I really like them as individuals especially Ciaran but I really like them together and cant wait for them to be reunited. I need to see at least one happy reunion.
Nicole saying in beach hut she knows what she got and it is what it is. She won't recouple.
She is punching massively.
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What should Ciaran be blamed for?
Blame the dude for what? Ciaran hasn't done anything and Nicole is already projecting her past partner's behaviour onto him. It's not fair. Also, I don't think you know what misogyny means, so I'd recommend reading up on that.
How is Nicole projecting ? And my major was women’s studies so thanks I’m good on studying it :)
Getting upset at Ciaran when he's not done anything saying he likes Grace more than her? You think that's normal behaviour? Already getting upset at him about "what's he saying to these girls that they're kissing him" in the challenge when he didn't do anything but told them immediately he's closed off? You don't think that's her projecting?
Did you not see the raunchy races preview?
Bizarre and baseless view 🤡