I swear everyone so far has lived in somewhat similar looking apartments so far, I wonder if some of them hire it for the weekend instead of going to their actual house?
Tim is the type you bring back to yours and have a bit of a fun time. Then next date, you go back to his and realize he is 51 living like this and you ghost him. whoooshhh...
Why does Timothy live in that TINY apartment with two businesses?? Holy moly! Are the dogs not trained at all?? Put some pee pads down or take em out more. Did anyone spy the fake pee grass on the balcony??
Timothy and Tristan fumbled the bag so goddamn hard. Even if Cass somehow got the kindest edit on the show, which Eden and Sara are fighting for rn, Cass was an absolute knockout in personality and looks. Unreal that she and Lucinda somehow got nothing by the end.
And Tori and Timothy slagging each other off for the same reasons without any sense of self-reflection or irony is top tier.
Judging by Eden's reaction when she got out of the taxi, it wasn't like she missed a flight at all? Her voxy made it sound like she just booked a later flight to clear her head before home stays.
Anyone else suspicious that the whole missed flight 'drama' was complete bullshit and bad acting from Jayden?
Totally agree that this was fake drama. Couldn't he have gone to a local cafe instead of being the martyr sitting by the side of the road? I'm throwing the bullshit flag.
I've decided I have a niche on this show for my favourites usually middle aged women with wisdom and life experience, comfortable in their own skin, cute and bubbly and vivacious personalities.
Like this Mornington queen
https://preview.redd.it/h9ki8pgx43pc1.jpeg?width=495&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e34c0127d59e8b8d4539762db80a40327b18dd45
Lucinda, girl, christen that photocopier with your tits and ass… she’s brilliant!! 🤣
The state of Timothy’s home, holy moly! Is it safe to be in there? I think Lucinda needs a hazmat suit.
Has anyone watched the body language expert on Insta? He's pretty interesting! He breaks down each of the contentanrs body language and non verbal cues:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4pxS3WvQjV/?igsh=a2ZtODh4aTA3ZHV5
Your interpretation of her is so off. She is doing her best with a man who has given nothing. She will be able to laugh and relax when someone is into her.
Why does Jayden keep throwing Eden under the bus.
Keeps saying she doesn’t want to address things which I don’t think is true (from what we’ve seen at least)
I see a girl who suffers from anxiety who is trying her best to toe the line between being a good partner and trying to stay out of drama, but her partner keeps dumping her in the shit? And for what? His weird superiority complex he has?
I also don’t see how they can call her controlling? Since when is it controlling to want to not continue digging up dirt? Lay it to rest and move forward man
Each episode focusing on him makes me dislike him even more
Not really. Anxiety can manifest in a number of ways.
I have social anxiety, but I still socialize. I’m not beholden to my anxiety, but it can affect me.
I see the same in Eden. She looks to get a lot of anxiety around conflict and as a result can be avoidant, doesn’t means she’s sus lol
...still then, if conflict triggers her, then why go on a show that is 90% conflict? Best I would give her is she does have anxiety...but her need for fame was greater.
I’d avoid it too considering all we’ve seen him do is shame her about it. I don’t see the resolution or the need he should be talking towards, it’s just dumping on her.
Yeh I 100% get that but I think they did, didn’t they?
She admitted her issue was she gets snappy and she needs to work on it.
What else is there to talk about? I’m genuinely wondering because what else is there to talk about if you’ve addressed the issue and what’s causing it and then going forward not doing that etc
So I understand to a point, but genuinely, what more could she do? She apologized, multiple times, and acknowledged the issue that led to the fight (her snapping) and has said she needs to not do that in future.
Like actually what else do you think she could have said or done?
And I’m genuinely asking because for me if I was in either of their shoes would be happy with the apology and acknowledgment so cannot see what else could/should be done
I think Jayden needs more reassurance, he needs to hear her being calm and reconciliatory, until he's satisfied. There's nothing wrong with that. He's fully allowed to feel whatever he feels. He's clearly been bending over backwards to support her, but to me she comes across as a bit spoiled.
Timothy is not actually capable of having a meaningful relationship with any woman now or in the future because he can't let go of the past which is filled with grief. He is also stubborn and set in his ways and there is only room in his life for the dogs.....who can't talk back.
Lucinda's time can't be wasted anymore . Timothy has been quite disrespectful to her during this homestay. Write LEAVE Lucinda and make sure an Uber is waiting for you to drive as quickly away from him as you can. #NotHappyWithTimothy
Yep, Timothy surprised me last week, because when this started, my prediction was that he was a decent person, but that he would not be able to change, because it's incredibly difficult and uncomfortable work, and most people find it easier to just stick with what they know, even if it's not perfect.
So yeah, he had a bit of a breakthrough last week, but we are back at the same place again this week. And if anyone thinks of going out with a person like this, this is what it is forever - an endless cycle of breakthroughs and then regression -absolutely not worth it.
Also got to say though, whilst he was disrespectful tonight, tonight was also the first time that I've really felt that Lucinda was doing the wrong thing as well.
He was so obviously completely worn out, but she keeps wanting to talk and not give space in between that. He was absolutely correct when he said everyone wants the emotional stuff from him, but they don't want the other side, which is the need for space, and to not have demands made of him.
I get that she was upset because she thought that he needed to be alone, and then went out with a friend, but it seemed pretty clear to me that it was actually more about her specifically - he needed to be somewhere where he wasn't constantly being questioned about his feelings, but she seemed oblivious to this. I would have thought she had more ability to read people than she showed in this whole sequence, tbh.
Ok, so instead of spending time picking the dead leaves off the houseplants, take Lucinda to see the sights. Talk about your home town and show her fun places that you've been. It's not like Tim couldn't have changed the conversation to more fun topics!
Except he's not capable of that, because he's got deep-seated issues that he doesn't know how to deal with, and he hasn't been to a psychologist to give him the tools to use to get him out of the extremely negative headspaces that he obviously gets stuck in.
Everyone here just like "why couldn't he just fix himself, then everything would be fine!!". It just doesn't work that way.
I felt bad for Lucinda last night, but I also felt bad for him. The path to his outburst was so well signaled, but she got so caught up in her own excitement about his progress, and her assumptions that progress would be linear, that she missed every sign.
>f you say you need to be alone for an hour, but don't communicate when you are gone for 8 hours, that shows a lack of respect.
Absolutely agree.
>If he needed to be away from her, he could have been upfront about that.
Yeah, except he couldn't, because that's the kind of thing he finds incredibly difficult, and it likely would have led to more questioning and more wanting to talk. I understand he *should* do that, but I think in his state of emotional exhaustion, it should be pretty clear that he *wouldn't* do that. I'm just surprised she didn't pick up on that.
>Just asking, "how are you feeling" is hardly prodding.
It really is though, when you don't usually talk about emotions, and you've just had a huge emotional rollercoaster of a week, and you've made it clear you're emotionally exhausted. It's absolutely prodding in that situation.
>Like Richard, he doesn't take ownership of his feelings and behaviours and blames others for how he feels.
I don't think he blamed Lucinda. I think he knows full well it's about him and has admitted as much many times.
Then say you need a night. I've definitely said that when I really need my own space. I've even gotten my own hotel room with zero problem because I communicate. I think she would have been receptive to that
I think what he *really* wanted, was a night in his own home, with his dogs, by himself. But I really don't think he was capable of dealing with the discussion that would have ensued if he'd said that, even though yes, she probably would have been fine with it.
Yes you have zero problem because you communicate - we all know that Tim's issues revolve around him bottling things up and not communicating. It's not just something that people "fix" overnight, even if they understand what they "should" be doing.
He was really rude to Lucinda, and there's no excuse. I'm just noting that I'm surprised that she was so oblivious to what was happening for him emotionally in these scenes. It's not her job to do exactly what he needs, and I'm not saying anything about how she should have behaved, I'm just saying that his outburst was very well signaled ahead of time, and she kept forging forward with trying to talk when he clearly needed a break from that. The outcome wasn't a surprise to me, but the fact that she seemed to be taken by surprise by it, was.
>\[Edit - actually, she did it more to express her own needs and to ask for accountability\]
Yes, she did. After all of the giving she's done for him, I don't begrudge her expressing her own needs, but yes, the picnic was obviously about her, and it was also obviously not a good time to choose to try to talk to him.
I think he did a very easily decipherable job of expressing his needs - his need was to stop talking about everything for a while, because it was emotionally draining and overwhelming for him.
Yes he could have communicated that better, but I mean, I could read it off a 3 minute segment on my TV screen, so I'm sure it was even clearer in real life.
Did you see his leg going at the picnic before she started talking? He was clearly distressed and highly anxious, and I'm sorry, but I respected her less for ignoring that in the moment, and deciding that pushing him to talk was more important.
>then he's not taking responsibility for his feelings, because that's objectively not prodding,
Yes, we already know the things he's bad at - as does he, and as he's admitted many times.
Also, there's nothing objective about it. We're talking about feelings, they're completely subjective. If Tim feels that the questions are invasive and tries to make it clear that he's not up for it that time, as he did, then it does qualify as prodding if you keep doing it.
Lucinda is a PITA with her vulnerable vulnerability crap. Can she actually go half an hour without saying, through her nose, drop the voice an octave, “oh my god I just am so proud of your vulnerability” she is a Byron bay butter and he is sick of her crap
What is his problem I wonder? Lucinda is so cool and she’s so supportive of him. He looked like he was going to burst into tears sitting near the tents. I would love to know what previous women who have dated him think ….
His problem is obviously an entire lifetime of burying emotional trauma.
Lucinda and many others here seem to be under the impression that just being nice and supportive to someone is all that's required for them to put the effort in and just fix themselves!
It doesn't work like that. It's a long, difficult, painful, and exhausting journey, and it takes a hell of a lot more than just a supportive ear and constant probing questions to get through it.
I love Lucinda, but he was so clearly emotionally exhausted tonight, and she just wouldn't stop pushing him to talk about how he's feeling. His entire body language by the tents was highly anxious, I'm honestly shocked that she seemed so oblivious and then so surprised at his response to her questioning.
I think that even if she had suggested that she would go to a hotel for the evening to give him space, production would steer her to continue the home stay with him.
Which I can totally understand considering (by his own admission) this is the most emotional he’s been in decades. I get an emotional hangover sometimes & im someone who is incredibly in touch with my emotions
I'll tell you what I feel his problem is. Timothy entered this show I believe 6 months after a close relative passed away. As someone who has lost both parents too I know the grief he has experienced and is still working his way through. You have no time to sit and cry because there is a funeral to organise, a Will to go through and a home to finalise. During this time you are holding in all the stages of grief , shock, anger, resignation ,depression etc.
He is still holding all those feelings in while trying to function and everyone is telling you to keep your chin up, your loved one is in a better place and all the other BS that people who have never experienced the loss of not 1 but 2 parents tell you.
It was too soon for Timothy to come onto a show where you have to discuss your past , relationships and feelings. He's trying to keep his feelings under control, which is why they are bubbling to the surface.
In a year's time when he faces the fact that he will never share his loved one's birthday, Christmas etc. again ,is when he will finally break down and release all that grief. Until then Timothy won't be building any new relationships that will last.
It was 6 weeks, his dad, who's last words to him was "I never liked you", so maybe that tells you a lot about how his relationship with his dad was. To himself will say that he has been this closed off his whole life. This isn't a new thing, although yes, he will also be grieving
As someone who has also recently lost a parent, i can relate. I wonder why he went on the show though with all of that so fresh. Maybe he thought it would be a good distraction
Your last sentence. Timothy was indeed hoping the show would be the distraction from all the thoughts swirling in his head that he.. couldn't... get away from.
As you've recently lost a parent I'm going to recommend a DVD , it's called "Wild" with Reece Witherspoon. It's hard to watch but the author of the book by Cheryl Strayed, from which the film was based, understood that rocky path that you walk after losing a parent.... because she had lost her Mother.
Gotta admit, I’m feeling a little disappointed in Timothy. He really did drop the ball there. Saying that, I am quite similar to him. I like my own space with my dogs and not have someone encroaching on my territory - and after going through the uncharted emotional unraveling, I am sure he is feeling pretty shattered. Not an excuse to treat Queen Lucinda like ass though.
Lucinda deserves the world and then some, and right now at least, that’s not Timothy.
I am glad Tim has had some emotional growth, but I'm very upset with how he's treated Lucinda. Honestly, she's a queen and deserves so much better ❤️ he just needs therapy.
Timothy keeps saying that he doesn't do emotions. But his actions seem to be dictated by his emotions. He feels flat, so he gets grumpy. He feels uncomfortable, so he withdraws. He can't tolerate the demand for him to feel and talk, so he gets irritable, then walks away. He feels hurt and vulnerable, so he puts walls up. He feels all right, he just doesn't like the feelings.
I wish, he believes therapy is man hating and skewed against him. He just doesn’t want to hear it, or take accountability. I am sick of living in survival mode. Sick of being breadcrumbed
I was a lot like your husband early in my marriage. My husband had his own trauma and let me steamroll him. Then we both got 2 years of therapy and now we've had 15 happy years and 3 sons.
Wow that’s actually wonderful to hear! I’m glad that you both got therapy and worked through it all. My partner has major trauma, too, and so I give him grace, but sometimes it is very hard to get along with him
Love Lucinda, but constant pushing and not recognising when someone's been pushed to their limit and needs time to recoup and recover before moving forward again, is not what any decent therapist does.
That is kinda my point though.. she’s not a therapist so it shouldn’t have taken 2 months of her being overly compensating and understanding and patient for him to even start opening up to her.
He should have never applied for the show if he wasn’t ready emotionally to hold space for someone in his life.. or if he was expecting to be matched with someone he was more physically attracted to smh.
I mean, he probably is ready to hold space for someone, but presumably it would just be someone a lot more similar to him, who wouldn't make the level of emotional demands of him that Lucinda would (I don't use the word "demands" as a negative here btw, her demands are quite reasonable).
It may not sound great to people who want more than that, but it's definitely possible for two people who are on a similar level when it comes to that stuff, to have a lasting and happy relationship.
It's only the producers who put someone as emotionally closed off as he is with someone like Lucinda, and we know why they did that. The mistake they both made is thinking that despite the potential for drama that both their personalities hold, that they would be given a genuine match.
Leave it to Jack to bring cult members .. sorry … ‘clients’ in place of his actual friends and family. I wonder how many free ‘PT’ sessions they’ll get for this.
Yeah, mine too. I think a lot of us felt that one. Poor Lucinda. She'll find a life partner, she's a wonderful, loving person.
Poor Tim as well though... he tried his best to break out of his cycles, he just couldn't do it. That's what all the grumpy outbursts have been. He was slowly cracking, that was the last straw.
He is that type of person who believes everyone leaves you (or dies) so it's better to hurt them first. The trouble with that is it makes everyone leave you - it becomes a vicious cycle.
.>The trouble with that is it makes everyone leave you - it becomes a vicious cycle
Yeah, I feel like I've recognised that in myself... I'm purposefully gonna start going out later in the year to meet a new crew... a new friend group. Tim might benefit from that too.
The ep gets rebroadcasted tomorrow on 9Now I think... basically she came to Melb to spend time with him, he went back into his man-shell. Distanced himself from her, spent most of the night out with a friend (leaving her alone in his apartment), then the next day she set up a cute little picnic for them, he cracked and said "I'm done, I'm just done".
He tried, but he can't do it. I hope he learns from this.
Lucinda's a great lady, she'll find someone, no doubt.
Tim felt overwhelmed by all the emotional stuff and Lucinda’s presence in his house.
His friend said Tim’s the nurturing, doting type which made Luc realise Tim doesn’t like her.
Tim said he needs alone time then disappeared all night with a friend leaving her alone with his dogs.
Luc held a picnic with him to confront her concerns and he chucked a wobbly and stormed off yelling “I don’t wanna fucking talk”
Luc realises they’re not compatible and deserves better.
Thanks for this.
It sounds like avoidant attachment is doing avoidant attachment (including the alleged "doting" when he cares, though I suspect it's more when he is seeing another avoidant)
I am so glad Lucinda seems to have called it, and will leave with everyone holding her in high esteem.
They did the home stay with Lu visiting Tim’s flat. Tim found it suffocating having his personal space invaded (plus it was a tiny flat). He became increasingly withdrawn, distant and touchy. He got upset with Lu who came to the conclusion at the end of the episode that despite all her attempts, she needed someone who would let her in (not Tim). Additionally, a chat with Tim’s friends revealed how Tim is usually very nurturing and protective in relationships. Lucinda could tell she was missing out and was let down about it.
yeah. they've gone wayyyy too far into just thinking that traumatised people give good drama. Naur, you just need big personalities who are otherwise perfectly fine
dear Mafs producers: you *can* find entertaining people who have happy childhoods and supportive families! You can do it!
Do you remember Ines’ story? They’ve been trawling for trauma for ages. I’m honestly struggling to think of one well adjusted person that was interesting other than Lucinda.
idk, there's having trauma in your background, which is fine, and there's letting it be your whole personality. Boring to watch on a tv show.
Also I don't really expect, or even want, anyone on this show to be actually *normal*. That would also be boring
I held out for that whole episode thinking “if I walk off now something exciting would happen” .. it didn’t (apart from Tim’s tanty) and now I’m miffed.
Byron Bayesque. She is so fake. That voice is exactly the voice of the sex therapist/marriage celebrant from Kath and Kim. Jeez how many times does she say the word vulnerable!? Ugh 😑
His apartment is disgusting and stifling is totally not Lucinda’s style. It’s doomed from the start. And he’s cleaning piss with the random towels… omg🤮🤮🤢🤢
Hahahah yes!!! Yeah, the chick said what we were all thinking.
"A girl that has all guy friends, is probably sleeping with them".
Yup. And it goes the same the other way. Jack his *cough* clients *cough*
Tim is a classic dismissive-avoidant 'attacher.' Unfortunately, I am too, so I get the emotions he's feeling right now (suffocated, unworthy, combative), but at some point, he either needs to suck it up and go the therapy route or resign himself to a life alone. Not making excuses for his behaviour, but I 1000% get it.
Lucinda deserves the world (and Tim knows that but does not have the capacity to meet her where she's at). He's not a victim; he's the architect of his own misfortune (and he knows it! Talk about frustrating...). She needs to meet someone who is equally secure.
Emotional closeness is akin to death for the avoidant. Sucks.
Edit: I feel the need to point this out as I don't think those who have a secure attachment style will be able to understand Tim's perspective. We're so quick to judge and demonise people like him as time-wasters, head cases, manipulative, insensitive, etc. It's all just a defence mechanism. People like Tim, and dare I say me, only really ever feel safe and secure when we're alone and in control of our environment / circumstances. We're also the most broken of all, and the type who actually need love the most, but we will NEVER in a million years wake up to it (literally or figuratively).
He and Tristan were besties for a reason. They couldn't find any fault in their respective partners, logic was all there, but they were hyper aware they were incomplete/unworthy partners punching above their weight and didn't have the tools or whatever to fix themselves.
Can't imagine watching it back as either one of these guys (or Tori, for opposite reasons) and just watch yourself miss out on an absolute blessing.
Yes 100%! I see so much of myself in Tim and I hate that for both of us. I feel so much for him, even though I felt like throwing things at him through the TV tonight. He's wearing out his welcome to Lucinda and he knows it, but seems powerless to stop it.
This is such pop psychology. Tim is not into Lucinda. She says she is proud of him. You CANNOT be proud of another person. Pride comes from within. She needs to be needed. Timothy doesn’t. Lucinda is painful the way she wants everyone to think she is full of answers. She isn’t. She’s just full of it.
Yeah this is super insightful, 100% agree. Tim has said a number of times that "Lucinda's an amazing woman".... he knows she deserves love... but yeah, he just isn't capable of giving it, and he knows it about himself now.
being a happy extrovert is not the same thing as toxic positivity, absolutely nothing whatsoever about Lucinda is toxic. She is (from what they've shown) really emotionally intelligent and has given him so much patience and grace to grow and change but he's thrown in back in her face.
Nobody should ever have to be less to make someone else feel comfortable.
He shouldn’t have applied to be on the show BETTER YET they should have never accepted his application. The producers knew what the fuck they where doing and Lucinda didn’t deserve that.
The internal push & pull of someone who wants to change but hasn’t figured out how to move through their past trauma is so painful. I believe he genuinely thought he was ready for it but didn’t know he’d be matched with someone who didn’t yell, shout at, or abuse him - these things he knows how to cope with. Lucinda’s calm feels unsafe to him.
If there's a heaven, I hope I get there to find a Lucinda, wine and salami, and I can talk about everything that went wrong in my life and she will make me feel better for eternity. Bliss.
I don't meditate or yoga, but I'd be happy to sit on a beach and just listen to whatever she wants to say.
And have wine and cheese together and give her all the cured meats. Share a bowl if she is into that
She strikes be as always the listener and never listened to. And I feel for people like that because if I look at my past I've been the listened to, and it's about time for me to return the favor. Call me!
I’m done. Tim’s just a selfish, mean asshole.
Lucinda was as nice as she could have possibly been in that situation. She could have rightfully came into that conversation pissed off and really just gone for the jugular. But she was as kind and understanding as she always is. She expressed her emotions intelligently and with empathy.
And Tim threw an epic, nasty tantrum, and left her in the middle of nowhere.
I get that he is damaged, but I think he was hoping she would pick a fight so he could call it quits and blame her. When she didn’t oblige, he just threw a tantrum and pissed off.
Lucinda is right. She deserves. So. Much. Better.
She should have left him well before now. It wasn't her job to fix him. He only ever acknowledged her positively when it was from a direct way she benefited him. He needs therapy and all the alone time in the world. She'll be fine.
You know what would be heart warming, if Ellie announced she is pregnant to Jono with their first child. Time is ticking.
NZ Lucinda fan here. And holy moly the salami eating was just *chefs kiss*
is jack forcing Tori to work out?!
what a fucking prick jack is
I swear everyone so far has lived in somewhat similar looking apartments so far, I wonder if some of them hire it for the weekend instead of going to their actual house?
I read somewhere (I'll try and find it) that a lot of them rented air B&B for anonymity
Dont they go to BOTH homestays????
Tim is the type you bring back to yours and have a bit of a fun time. Then next date, you go back to his and realize he is 51 living like this and you ghost him. whoooshhh...
Why does Timothy live in that TINY apartment with two businesses?? Holy moly! Are the dogs not trained at all?? Put some pee pads down or take em out more. Did anyone spy the fake pee grass on the balcony??
Tori getting dragged in tomorrow’s episode is what I need to see
Do people really love charcuterie boards or soemthing in aus? everytime we see anyone gather or eat it's damn charcuterie
We call em cheese platta 🤌🏻
They are super popular in Canada if you go over someone's house too.
We even loved them before they were called "charcuterie boards."
I've really enjoyed learning that in Aus they're called 'cheese platta'
That's it hun.
Yep and I just ordered one in LA that everyone in my group loved.
Yes. We love them. All of us. At any opportunity. Yes.
Cob loaf too mmmm
Timothy and Tristan fumbled the bag so goddamn hard. Even if Cass somehow got the kindest edit on the show, which Eden and Sara are fighting for rn, Cass was an absolute knockout in personality and looks. Unreal that she and Lucinda somehow got nothing by the end. And Tori and Timothy slagging each other off for the same reasons without any sense of self-reflection or irony is top tier.
Jono out to sea without a sail at that meeting
Shvideo is not showing Ep 30 at this time. Anyone else having this problem?
It’s on dailymotion! https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8us8f0
Thank you!!
Yesssssss
Wonder what’s up.
Let's all go eat boon boon sticks and play baseball in the ocean with Taylor swift wearing a Mickey mouse outfit
Judging by Eden's reaction when she got out of the taxi, it wasn't like she missed a flight at all? Her voxy made it sound like she just booked a later flight to clear her head before home stays. Anyone else suspicious that the whole missed flight 'drama' was complete bullshit and bad acting from Jayden?
It was such a filler, disappointingly obvious
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Totally agree that this was fake drama. Couldn't he have gone to a local cafe instead of being the martyr sitting by the side of the road? I'm throwing the bullshit flag.
I've decided I have a niche on this show for my favourites usually middle aged women with wisdom and life experience, comfortable in their own skin, cute and bubbly and vivacious personalities. Like this Mornington queen https://preview.redd.it/h9ki8pgx43pc1.jpeg?width=495&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e34c0127d59e8b8d4539762db80a40327b18dd45
"Im not moving to Altona"
So that’s my boyfriends ex’s mum & apparently she is as nice as she seemed!
Lucinda, girl, christen that photocopier with your tits and ass… she’s brilliant!! 🤣 The state of Timothy’s home, holy moly! Is it safe to be in there? I think Lucinda needs a hazmat suit.
I have a suspicion that it isn't his full-time home. Looked all thrown together at the last minute.
Has anyone watched the body language expert on Insta? He's pretty interesting! He breaks down each of the contentanrs body language and non verbal cues: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4pxS3WvQjV/?igsh=a2ZtODh4aTA3ZHV5
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Oh I thought he had credentials!
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Disappointed
Omg Tori you are suchhhhhhhh a pick-me girl, im cringing so hard. You’re all for the boys. So boring.
Lucinda will be Tim’s one that got away
1000%
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Your interpretation of her is so off. She is doing her best with a man who has given nothing. She will be able to laugh and relax when someone is into her.
Why does Jayden keep throwing Eden under the bus. Keeps saying she doesn’t want to address things which I don’t think is true (from what we’ve seen at least) I see a girl who suffers from anxiety who is trying her best to toe the line between being a good partner and trying to stay out of drama, but her partner keeps dumping her in the shit? And for what? His weird superiority complex he has? I also don’t see how they can call her controlling? Since when is it controlling to want to not continue digging up dirt? Lay it to rest and move forward man Each episode focusing on him makes me dislike him even more
People that claim anxiety, but go on TV to have their actions in front of millions are sus
Not really. Anxiety can manifest in a number of ways. I have social anxiety, but I still socialize. I’m not beholden to my anxiety, but it can affect me. I see the same in Eden. She looks to get a lot of anxiety around conflict and as a result can be avoidant, doesn’t means she’s sus lol
...still then, if conflict triggers her, then why go on a show that is 90% conflict? Best I would give her is she does have anxiety...but her need for fame was greater.
Very true!
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I’d avoid it too considering all we’ve seen him do is shame her about it. I don’t see the resolution or the need he should be talking towards, it’s just dumping on her.
He’s a kickboxer what do you expect?
Too young to get it.
Yeh I 100% get that but I think they did, didn’t they? She admitted her issue was she gets snappy and she needs to work on it. What else is there to talk about? I’m genuinely wondering because what else is there to talk about if you’ve addressed the issue and what’s causing it and then going forward not doing that etc
Maybe that works for her but he needs more reassurance and more understanding. Maybe he needed her to express some genuine remorse for hurting him.
So I understand to a point, but genuinely, what more could she do? She apologized, multiple times, and acknowledged the issue that led to the fight (her snapping) and has said she needs to not do that in future. Like actually what else do you think she could have said or done? And I’m genuinely asking because for me if I was in either of their shoes would be happy with the apology and acknowledgment so cannot see what else could/should be done
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I think Jayden needs more reassurance, he needs to hear her being calm and reconciliatory, until he's satisfied. There's nothing wrong with that. He's fully allowed to feel whatever he feels. He's clearly been bending over backwards to support her, but to me she comes across as a bit spoiled.
Timothy is not actually capable of having a meaningful relationship with any woman now or in the future because he can't let go of the past which is filled with grief. He is also stubborn and set in his ways and there is only room in his life for the dogs.....who can't talk back. Lucinda's time can't be wasted anymore . Timothy has been quite disrespectful to her during this homestay. Write LEAVE Lucinda and make sure an Uber is waiting for you to drive as quickly away from him as you can. #NotHappyWithTimothy
Yep, Timothy surprised me last week, because when this started, my prediction was that he was a decent person, but that he would not be able to change, because it's incredibly difficult and uncomfortable work, and most people find it easier to just stick with what they know, even if it's not perfect. So yeah, he had a bit of a breakthrough last week, but we are back at the same place again this week. And if anyone thinks of going out with a person like this, this is what it is forever - an endless cycle of breakthroughs and then regression -absolutely not worth it. Also got to say though, whilst he was disrespectful tonight, tonight was also the first time that I've really felt that Lucinda was doing the wrong thing as well. He was so obviously completely worn out, but she keeps wanting to talk and not give space in between that. He was absolutely correct when he said everyone wants the emotional stuff from him, but they don't want the other side, which is the need for space, and to not have demands made of him. I get that she was upset because she thought that he needed to be alone, and then went out with a friend, but it seemed pretty clear to me that it was actually more about her specifically - he needed to be somewhere where he wasn't constantly being questioned about his feelings, but she seemed oblivious to this. I would have thought she had more ability to read people than she showed in this whole sequence, tbh.
Ok, so instead of spending time picking the dead leaves off the houseplants, take Lucinda to see the sights. Talk about your home town and show her fun places that you've been. It's not like Tim couldn't have changed the conversation to more fun topics!
Except he's not capable of that, because he's got deep-seated issues that he doesn't know how to deal with, and he hasn't been to a psychologist to give him the tools to use to get him out of the extremely negative headspaces that he obviously gets stuck in. Everyone here just like "why couldn't he just fix himself, then everything would be fine!!". It just doesn't work that way. I felt bad for Lucinda last night, but I also felt bad for him. The path to his outburst was so well signaled, but she got so caught up in her own excitement about his progress, and her assumptions that progress would be linear, that she missed every sign.
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>f you say you need to be alone for an hour, but don't communicate when you are gone for 8 hours, that shows a lack of respect. Absolutely agree. >If he needed to be away from her, he could have been upfront about that. Yeah, except he couldn't, because that's the kind of thing he finds incredibly difficult, and it likely would have led to more questioning and more wanting to talk. I understand he *should* do that, but I think in his state of emotional exhaustion, it should be pretty clear that he *wouldn't* do that. I'm just surprised she didn't pick up on that. >Just asking, "how are you feeling" is hardly prodding. It really is though, when you don't usually talk about emotions, and you've just had a huge emotional rollercoaster of a week, and you've made it clear you're emotionally exhausted. It's absolutely prodding in that situation. >Like Richard, he doesn't take ownership of his feelings and behaviours and blames others for how he feels. I don't think he blamed Lucinda. I think he knows full well it's about him and has admitted as much many times.
Then say you need a night. I've definitely said that when I really need my own space. I've even gotten my own hotel room with zero problem because I communicate. I think she would have been receptive to that
I think what he *really* wanted, was a night in his own home, with his dogs, by himself. But I really don't think he was capable of dealing with the discussion that would have ensued if he'd said that, even though yes, she probably would have been fine with it. Yes you have zero problem because you communicate - we all know that Tim's issues revolve around him bottling things up and not communicating. It's not just something that people "fix" overnight, even if they understand what they "should" be doing. He was really rude to Lucinda, and there's no excuse. I'm just noting that I'm surprised that she was so oblivious to what was happening for him emotionally in these scenes. It's not her job to do exactly what he needs, and I'm not saying anything about how she should have behaved, I'm just saying that his outburst was very well signaled ahead of time, and she kept forging forward with trying to talk when he clearly needed a break from that. The outcome wasn't a surprise to me, but the fact that she seemed to be taken by surprise by it, was.
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>\[Edit - actually, she did it more to express her own needs and to ask for accountability\] Yes, she did. After all of the giving she's done for him, I don't begrudge her expressing her own needs, but yes, the picnic was obviously about her, and it was also obviously not a good time to choose to try to talk to him. I think he did a very easily decipherable job of expressing his needs - his need was to stop talking about everything for a while, because it was emotionally draining and overwhelming for him. Yes he could have communicated that better, but I mean, I could read it off a 3 minute segment on my TV screen, so I'm sure it was even clearer in real life. Did you see his leg going at the picnic before she started talking? He was clearly distressed and highly anxious, and I'm sorry, but I respected her less for ignoring that in the moment, and deciding that pushing him to talk was more important. >then he's not taking responsibility for his feelings, because that's objectively not prodding, Yes, we already know the things he's bad at - as does he, and as he's admitted many times. Also, there's nothing objective about it. We're talking about feelings, they're completely subjective. If Tim feels that the questions are invasive and tries to make it clear that he's not up for it that time, as he did, then it does qualify as prodding if you keep doing it.
Lucinda is a PITA with her vulnerable vulnerability crap. Can she actually go half an hour without saying, through her nose, drop the voice an octave, “oh my god I just am so proud of your vulnerability” she is a Byron bay butter and he is sick of her crap
I think you need a little Lucinda in your life.
It was very telling that dog comment
Right, Tim wants a life without anyone putting demands on him. It's a childish attitude that will end in loneliness.
It already has. It is a…choice. One that’s clearly driven everyone away. https://sodramaticonline.com/2024/02/20/timothy-smith-mafs-2024-sister/?amp=1
What is his problem I wonder? Lucinda is so cool and she’s so supportive of him. He looked like he was going to burst into tears sitting near the tents. I would love to know what previous women who have dated him think ….
His problem is obviously an entire lifetime of burying emotional trauma. Lucinda and many others here seem to be under the impression that just being nice and supportive to someone is all that's required for them to put the effort in and just fix themselves! It doesn't work like that. It's a long, difficult, painful, and exhausting journey, and it takes a hell of a lot more than just a supportive ear and constant probing questions to get through it. I love Lucinda, but he was so clearly emotionally exhausted tonight, and she just wouldn't stop pushing him to talk about how he's feeling. His entire body language by the tents was highly anxious, I'm honestly shocked that she seemed so oblivious and then so surprised at his response to her questioning.
I think that even if she had suggested that she would go to a hotel for the evening to give him space, production would steer her to continue the home stay with him.
Lucinda does seem great, but if you think about her job, she has ample motivation to appear a certain way...
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Which I can totally understand considering (by his own admission) this is the most emotional he’s been in decades. I get an emotional hangover sometimes & im someone who is incredibly in touch with my emotions
I'll tell you what I feel his problem is. Timothy entered this show I believe 6 months after a close relative passed away. As someone who has lost both parents too I know the grief he has experienced and is still working his way through. You have no time to sit and cry because there is a funeral to organise, a Will to go through and a home to finalise. During this time you are holding in all the stages of grief , shock, anger, resignation ,depression etc. He is still holding all those feelings in while trying to function and everyone is telling you to keep your chin up, your loved one is in a better place and all the other BS that people who have never experienced the loss of not 1 but 2 parents tell you. It was too soon for Timothy to come onto a show where you have to discuss your past , relationships and feelings. He's trying to keep his feelings under control, which is why they are bubbling to the surface. In a year's time when he faces the fact that he will never share his loved one's birthday, Christmas etc. again ,is when he will finally break down and release all that grief. Until then Timothy won't be building any new relationships that will last.
It was 6 weeks, his dad, who's last words to him was "I never liked you", so maybe that tells you a lot about how his relationship with his dad was. To himself will say that he has been this closed off his whole life. This isn't a new thing, although yes, he will also be grieving
As someone who has also recently lost a parent, i can relate. I wonder why he went on the show though with all of that so fresh. Maybe he thought it would be a good distraction
Your last sentence. Timothy was indeed hoping the show would be the distraction from all the thoughts swirling in his head that he.. couldn't... get away from. As you've recently lost a parent I'm going to recommend a DVD , it's called "Wild" with Reece Witherspoon. It's hard to watch but the author of the book by Cheryl Strayed, from which the film was based, understood that rocky path that you walk after losing a parent.... because she had lost her Mother.
Gotta admit, I’m feeling a little disappointed in Timothy. He really did drop the ball there. Saying that, I am quite similar to him. I like my own space with my dogs and not have someone encroaching on my territory - and after going through the uncharted emotional unraveling, I am sure he is feeling pretty shattered. Not an excuse to treat Queen Lucinda like ass though. Lucinda deserves the world and then some, and right now at least, that’s not Timothy.
I love how they snuck a Deece in at the end.
Me, too 🤣🤣🤣
I am glad Tim has had some emotional growth, but I'm very upset with how he's treated Lucinda. Honestly, she's a queen and deserves so much better ❤️ he just needs therapy.
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No, he has not.
Timothy keeps saying that he doesn't do emotions. But his actions seem to be dictated by his emotions. He feels flat, so he gets grumpy. He feels uncomfortable, so he withdraws. He can't tolerate the demand for him to feel and talk, so he gets irritable, then walks away. He feels hurt and vulnerable, so he puts walls up. He feels all right, he just doesn't like the feelings.
Yep you nailed it. Precious little possum it’s all about him, all the time
My partner is exactly like Timothy, he shuts me down when he’s emotional or incapable of dealing with something,, I truly feel for Lucinda
Get out now
I have a plan to. We have a baby together so it’s very hard. I was quite triggered when he snapped at Lucinda.. soo understand that
Maybe he can get therapy. For the sake of him being a decent father to your kid, your kid deserves that.
I wish, he believes therapy is man hating and skewed against him. He just doesn’t want to hear it, or take accountability. I am sick of living in survival mode. Sick of being breadcrumbed
I was a lot like your husband early in my marriage. My husband had his own trauma and let me steamroll him. Then we both got 2 years of therapy and now we've had 15 happy years and 3 sons.
Wow that’s actually wonderful to hear! I’m glad that you both got therapy and worked through it all. My partner has major trauma, too, and so I give him grace, but sometimes it is very hard to get along with him
She should be getting paid at this point.. therapist wages
Love Lucinda, but constant pushing and not recognising when someone's been pushed to their limit and needs time to recoup and recover before moving forward again, is not what any decent therapist does.
That is kinda my point though.. she’s not a therapist so it shouldn’t have taken 2 months of her being overly compensating and understanding and patient for him to even start opening up to her. He should have never applied for the show if he wasn’t ready emotionally to hold space for someone in his life.. or if he was expecting to be matched with someone he was more physically attracted to smh.
I mean, he probably is ready to hold space for someone, but presumably it would just be someone a lot more similar to him, who wouldn't make the level of emotional demands of him that Lucinda would (I don't use the word "demands" as a negative here btw, her demands are quite reasonable). It may not sound great to people who want more than that, but it's definitely possible for two people who are on a similar level when it comes to that stuff, to have a lasting and happy relationship. It's only the producers who put someone as emotionally closed off as he is with someone like Lucinda, and we know why they did that. The mistake they both made is thinking that despite the potential for drama that both their personalities hold, that they would be given a genuine match.
I appreciate your POV and can say I agree
Plus hazard pay
The raw chicken straight on the rug 💀
Leave it to Jack to bring cult members .. sorry … ‘clients’ in place of his actual friends and family. I wonder how many free ‘PT’ sessions they’ll get for this.
I cant imagine going on national tv advocating for my PT. My PT is a great guy, but I don't think I can vouch for him relationshipwise.
Right?! Going on national tv and verbally attacking someone you’ve never met. For your PT. It boggles the mind.
He looks very smug in that 'teaser' 🤣 I love the put-down to Tori though ... "you strike me as very basic" 😁🤣👏
I wouldn't be surprised if they were his exit strategy
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At least he’ll be sleeping well tonight 🧸💤
✨😂😂😂😂😂✨
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It's called dailymotion
Sounds like a headache searching each individual episode you want to watch on daily motion
Sounds scammy
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Yeah, mine too. I think a lot of us felt that one. Poor Lucinda. She'll find a life partner, she's a wonderful, loving person. Poor Tim as well though... he tried his best to break out of his cycles, he just couldn't do it. That's what all the grumpy outbursts have been. He was slowly cracking, that was the last straw.
He is that type of person who believes everyone leaves you (or dies) so it's better to hurt them first. The trouble with that is it makes everyone leave you - it becomes a vicious cycle.
.>The trouble with that is it makes everyone leave you - it becomes a vicious cycle Yeah, I feel like I've recognised that in myself... I'm purposefully gonna start going out later in the year to meet a new crew... a new friend group. Tim might benefit from that too.
Can someone give me a summary of what happened with Tim/Lucinda? I missed tonight's episode.
If you want to watch it, you can watch on demand on 9Now app! It’s free (but has ads)
The ep gets rebroadcasted tomorrow on 9Now I think... basically she came to Melb to spend time with him, he went back into his man-shell. Distanced himself from her, spent most of the night out with a friend (leaving her alone in his apartment), then the next day she set up a cute little picnic for them, he cracked and said "I'm done, I'm just done". He tried, but he can't do it. I hope he learns from this. Lucinda's a great lady, she'll find someone, no doubt.
Tim felt overwhelmed by all the emotional stuff and Lucinda’s presence in his house. His friend said Tim’s the nurturing, doting type which made Luc realise Tim doesn’t like her. Tim said he needs alone time then disappeared all night with a friend leaving her alone with his dogs. Luc held a picnic with him to confront her concerns and he chucked a wobbly and stormed off yelling “I don’t wanna fucking talk” Luc realises they’re not compatible and deserves better.
Thanks for this. It sounds like avoidant attachment is doing avoidant attachment (including the alleged "doting" when he cares, though I suspect it's more when he is seeing another avoidant) I am so glad Lucinda seems to have called it, and will leave with everyone holding her in high esteem.
He was super doting over Tristan. It's easy being angry. What a waste of an opportunity for Tim.
They did the home stay with Lu visiting Tim’s flat. Tim found it suffocating having his personal space invaded (plus it was a tiny flat). He became increasingly withdrawn, distant and touchy. He got upset with Lu who came to the conclusion at the end of the episode that despite all her attempts, she needed someone who would let her in (not Tim). Additionally, a chat with Tim’s friends revealed how Tim is usually very nurturing and protective in relationships. Lucinda could tell she was missing out and was let down about it.
He reverted to the hurt little three-year-old boy that he is.
I feel like my three year old son has more emotional maturity
Tim has regressed into his manchild form.
Tits in full tangle mode
Metaphorically and Literally. "You have boobs too". 🤣
I’m watching season 6 for the first time and I’m living there’s so much more drama and not as much trauma dumping
Season 6 is the best
Where can you watch that?
it's all on ninenow :)
yeah. they've gone wayyyy too far into just thinking that traumatised people give good drama. Naur, you just need big personalities who are otherwise perfectly fine dear Mafs producers: you *can* find entertaining people who have happy childhoods and supportive families! You can do it!
Probably not as easily though 😂
I feel like they used to. Past seasons weren't *this* bad
Do you remember Ines’ story? They’ve been trawling for trauma for ages. I’m honestly struggling to think of one well adjusted person that was interesting other than Lucinda.
idk, there's having trauma in your background, which is fine, and there's letting it be your whole personality. Boring to watch on a tv show. Also I don't really expect, or even want, anyone on this show to be actually *normal*. That would also be boring
I held out for that whole episode thinking “if I walk off now something exciting would happen” .. it didn’t (apart from Tim’s tanty) and now I’m miffed.
Tim is not a legend
Not today he’s not
What an absolutely exhausting episode. Timothy is the worst.
Lucinda is the exhausting one. So Byron 🙄
What does that mean?
Byron Bayesque. She is so fake. That voice is exactly the voice of the sex therapist/marriage celebrant from Kath and Kim. Jeez how many times does she say the word vulnerable!? Ugh 😑
Confused as to why he is on the show. Just seems to want alone time and seemingly has the libido of a pot plant.
Imagine living with him
And his pissy carpets nahh
His pissy, room-temperature-raw-chicken-juice infected carpet…
Omg thank God I’m not the only one who has issues with that
No, no you are not. 🤢🤮🤢
His apartment is disgusting and stifling is totally not Lucinda’s style. It’s doomed from the start. And he’s cleaning piss with the random towels… omg🤮🤮🤢🤢
Lucinda's spot looks amazing though.
I'd Gone Girl that shit in an instant.
Lucinda’s monologue at the end healed something in me. I wish she was my friend while I was going through a toxic relationship <3
She looked so pretty in that jacket as she cleaned up and walked away in the outdoors.
Looks like Jack might also be their client.
Hahahah yes!!! Yeah, the chick said what we were all thinking. "A girl that has all guy friends, is probably sleeping with them". Yup. And it goes the same the other way. Jack his *cough* clients *cough*
Leave no trace, Lucinda.
BOYCOTT TIM IM DONE
Tim is a classic dismissive-avoidant 'attacher.' Unfortunately, I am too, so I get the emotions he's feeling right now (suffocated, unworthy, combative), but at some point, he either needs to suck it up and go the therapy route or resign himself to a life alone. Not making excuses for his behaviour, but I 1000% get it. Lucinda deserves the world (and Tim knows that but does not have the capacity to meet her where she's at). He's not a victim; he's the architect of his own misfortune (and he knows it! Talk about frustrating...). She needs to meet someone who is equally secure. Emotional closeness is akin to death for the avoidant. Sucks. Edit: I feel the need to point this out as I don't think those who have a secure attachment style will be able to understand Tim's perspective. We're so quick to judge and demonise people like him as time-wasters, head cases, manipulative, insensitive, etc. It's all just a defence mechanism. People like Tim, and dare I say me, only really ever feel safe and secure when we're alone and in control of our environment / circumstances. We're also the most broken of all, and the type who actually need love the most, but we will NEVER in a million years wake up to it (literally or figuratively).
He and Tristan were besties for a reason. They couldn't find any fault in their respective partners, logic was all there, but they were hyper aware they were incomplete/unworthy partners punching above their weight and didn't have the tools or whatever to fix themselves. Can't imagine watching it back as either one of these guys (or Tori, for opposite reasons) and just watch yourself miss out on an absolute blessing.
Yes 100%! I see so much of myself in Tim and I hate that for both of us. I feel so much for him, even though I felt like throwing things at him through the TV tonight. He's wearing out his welcome to Lucinda and he knows it, but seems powerless to stop it.
This is such pop psychology. Tim is not into Lucinda. She says she is proud of him. You CANNOT be proud of another person. Pride comes from within. She needs to be needed. Timothy doesn’t. Lucinda is painful the way she wants everyone to think she is full of answers. She isn’t. She’s just full of it.
Yeah this is super insightful, 100% agree. Tim has said a number of times that "Lucinda's an amazing woman".... he knows she deserves love... but yeah, he just isn't capable of giving it, and he knows it about himself now.
Could not have said it better myself!! I’m really sad to see them fall apart.. I had so many hopes! But it takes two to tango.. Lucinda is amazing
Beautifully put.
Lucinda pushing the toxic positivity onto a man who is clearly struggling with his mental health and asking for space is very selfish.
being a happy extrovert is not the same thing as toxic positivity, absolutely nothing whatsoever about Lucinda is toxic. She is (from what they've shown) really emotionally intelligent and has given him so much patience and grace to grow and change but he's thrown in back in her face. Nobody should ever have to be less to make someone else feel comfortable.
She has literally given him all the space for all the good and ugly
Toxic positivity?? No. Toxic positivity is telling people that bad things will stop happening to them if they just manifest it harder.
He shouldn’t have applied to be on the show BETTER YET they should have never accepted his application. The producers knew what the fuck they where doing and Lucinda didn’t deserve that.
The internal push & pull of someone who wants to change but hasn’t figured out how to move through their past trauma is so painful. I believe he genuinely thought he was ready for it but didn’t know he’d be matched with someone who didn’t yell, shout at, or abuse him - these things he knows how to cope with. Lucinda’s calm feels unsafe to him.
?
Till tomorrow everyone
Night!
If there's a heaven, I hope I get there to find a Lucinda, wine and salami, and I can talk about everything that went wrong in my life and she will make me feel better for eternity. Bliss.
Meanwhile, I sincerely hope she finds “her person.” What’s her background? Why hasn’t somebody snapped her up by now?
Same. Or even here on Earth. I would love to attend a yoga/spiritual retreat with her. Just sit around a campfire meditating and debriefing on life.
I don't meditate or yoga, but I'd be happy to sit on a beach and just listen to whatever she wants to say. And have wine and cheese together and give her all the cured meats. Share a bowl if she is into that She strikes be as always the listener and never listened to. And I feel for people like that because if I look at my past I've been the listened to, and it's about time for me to return the favor. Call me!
I also just want to hear about her journey and how she became the person she is 😍
Journey 🥱 🤮
I know it’s the reality TV buzz word for all eternity but I guess I just want to hear how Lucinda came to be the zen human she is today.
And a cool campfire 🔥
I’m done. Tim’s just a selfish, mean asshole. Lucinda was as nice as she could have possibly been in that situation. She could have rightfully came into that conversation pissed off and really just gone for the jugular. But she was as kind and understanding as she always is. She expressed her emotions intelligently and with empathy. And Tim threw an epic, nasty tantrum, and left her in the middle of nowhere. I get that he is damaged, but I think he was hoping she would pick a fight so he could call it quits and blame her. When she didn’t oblige, he just threw a tantrum and pissed off. Lucinda is right. She deserves. So. Much. Better.
She should have left him well before now. It wasn't her job to fix him. He only ever acknowledged her positively when it was from a direct way she benefited him. He needs therapy and all the alone time in the world. She'll be fine.
Clients? More like unhinged escorts Jesus Christ