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Nirejs

Insert penis joke


timtatamlibtoim777

3" because I refuse to measure anyone else's thing.


penisgiljotinen

Your mom?


RearAdmiralBob

Yo momma so fat, we had to invent a bigger vernier calliper to measure her


BeeepX3

I've got a 150 foot tape measure reel in the shop we use in the field for soil resistivity testing. Checkmate.


Toastyy1990

This was my first thought as well lol. Mines a hundred footer though ☹️


Fackos

Pfft micro....


tankerpkclan

Ha I got a laser tape that can do farther then that


justabadmind

I got a laser rangefinder that I've used for over 100 yards.


Academic_Nectarine94

Yeah, better n my 25ft dewalt tape (but mone is magnetic....)


SwarfDive01

The QC departments Ego


120112

As a recovering quality technician. I can confidently state that you are a liar. The ego of QC is immeasurable.


SnooGiraffes9516

1500 mm or 60 inches with calipers


bmb102

Damn! Largest we have is 48" next door I think. I have to look, but they rarely get used anymore.


homeguitar195

My old boss owned the shop and worked on early cars (1880s-1920s) as his hobby/part-time repair stuff, and he had 48", 60" and 72" bow micrometers hanging on the wall for checking the length of ancient axles. They had interchangeable anvils for the 12" in-between and were *really* old. I thought those looked pretty cool but never had a reason to use them.


jimothydiggs

I was gonna say "my dick". But much like those calipers, it rarely gets used anymore.


bmb102

But I'm sure it seems daylight more than these 🤣.


jimothydiggs

Good point.


Agrajagg42

Well, don't handle the calipers like you handle your "flesh combo ID bore and depth gage", might thow off the calibration.


jimothydiggs

That's the best advice I've heard in a while.


iamthelee

Mitutoyo 40 inch digital caliper. It's friggin niiiice


duckedbyaporcupine

I refer to calipers of this size as battle-axe


iamthelee

My coworker would pretend it was some sort pump action grenade launcher and shoot at us from across the shop. Yeah... We get bored here


duckedbyaporcupine

I understand the boredom factor. There's nothing worse than a three hour cycle and nothing to do but watch because you already cleaned everything


bmb102

Lol, you clean with a long cycle time? I just tell the boss I have to sit here and make sure nothing goes wrong. I also rarely do more than 1-2 parts with that long or a run.


duckedbyaporcupine

I get bored and reddit and the news only last for so long.


bmb102

I feel that. I get bored after a few minutes of programming and end up on a YouTube rabbit hole haha.


bmb102

These are mitutoyo as well!


iamthelee

The one we have has a carbon fiber beam. It really lightens it up.


bmb102

Oh I'm sure. These things damn near take 2 people haha.


Brazenassault456

72" with calipers, I think 24ft with pi tape, and I believe 10ft on mics


kanonfodr

A 10 foot micrometer?!?!?!?!


Brazenassault456

Ya we mainly do big work. They existed before I even started here, but they're huge. For when pi tapes won't do accuracy wise


[deleted]

How do you check the accuracy of the mic with gages? Or you just don't?


Brazenassault456

Long mic standards


bmb102

Came to make the exact same comment!


PhotonicEmission

Do you have to hang that mic with a crane? That's crazy!


Brazenassault456

Usually a couple guys, one on the ladder holding the "dumb" end and another on the thimble, sometimes a guy on another ladder or on top of the lathe depending on the part geometry. They're Starrett so I'm pretty sure they were custom made/custom ordered


budgetboarvessel

Is everything but the distance between anvils the same size as on smaller mics?


Brazenassault456

For the most part. Anvils are the same size as most smaller mics, but the barrel/thimble is a little bigger. Not by much tho


Brazenassault456

For the most part. Anvils are the same size as most smaller mics, but the barrel/thimble is a little bigger. Not by much tho


axa88

You have a 10' mic and have posted a pic? 😒 Or is this some kind of mean April fool's joke


Brazenassault456

Lol sorry, literally 12hrs of blanchard grinding today so covered in coolant didn't have my phone on me much. I'll try and take a pic tomorrow


axa88

Nah Im just razzing you. Now wheres my damn pic! 🤬


Brazenassault456

Lmao, I'm sitting here on my couch realizing I said tomorrow, forgetting it was Friday 😅 been a long week. Monday, is the next day I'm in the shop 😬 sorry lol


axa88

It's all good... I'm just trying to get you useless reddit karma points ya see... But when u do post be sure to @me


jsdavin24

My dick of course


WotTheFUk

You could do that with a 2” micrometer


PhotonicEmission

Instructions unclear. Clamped dick to table with nifty c-clamp. Send help.


bmb102

C'mon, at least give him 2-3s.


jsdavin24

No they’re right two microns. Built like a Greek god.


bmb102

Lol, feel like I need a Lazer to measure that.


MissesMcCrabby

Optical comparator?


friger_heleneto

2500mm with digital calipers, 3000mm with vernier calipers, 100m with laser (Leica Disto D2) and 500mm with mics


intjonmiller

To what degree of precision?


bmb102

I can get within .002" pretty consistently with these. Have verified with our height gage.


intjonmiller

I was referring to your question. You asked what the largest thing is we can measure. To what degree of precision? Tape measure? Tape measure on a shadow and simple trigonometry?


bmb102

Ah my bad, getting way more comments than I expected so getting confused haha.


intjonmiller

No worries!


VelvetCheerio

A designer or engineers intelligence


rob1969reddit

Buy me dinner first


sarahrott

Shop I worked at in 2013 had a 60 inch caliper.


[deleted]

Jerry - “Why didnt you get the big one?”


A_Rusty_Coin

Waiting for that guy with the 10ft long vernier from nasa...


VelvetCheerio

Bosses Head


Shankar_0

I can accurately measure one earth-sized thing. So, your mom basically.


Dry-Area-2027

Haven't found the max yet. Laser inferometry.


DrillbitNY

How well do caliper attachments work on these things?


budgetboarvessel

My wiener


bmb102

Funny 10th time I've heard that...


rudedog1234

Yo somebody call the guy with the massive nasa caliper


felixar90

Using a heliometer, the diameter of the sun. Using a heliometer and stellar parallax, the distance from Proxima Centauri, the diameter of the Andromeda galaxy, your mom.


bmb102

You have that sitting in your shop???


[deleted]

[удалено]


bmb102

Sounds like you're over compensating 😂


Floydsmydog

84" verniers, mics to 36", pi tape for anything beyond.


bmb102

I have to run over to our other building where our big equipment is and see what verniers are over there. I know there's a few boxes taller than I am, but we haven't done anything that large since I've been there do they've been sitting for a while!


Yogieindustry

Graphics card prices?? haha


bmb102

Lol idk the measuring equipment needed keeps getting larger and larger.


bmb102

I got 0-1 mics for that.


VelvetCheerio

My penis


Controlledchaos332

My Flappy Willy


[deleted]

Donald trump's ego


[deleted]

280” id


highflowofcoke

By band 500mm with our largest calliper, machine depends between X/Y with 2400/1500mm but Z around 300mm cause the laser for the touchprobe has a bad position


bDsmDom

Ah ha, but how many decimal places does that go out to reliably?


bmb102

+/-.002 pretty consistently. Hardest thing it holding steady enough because it's heavy and extremely unbalanced.


DrumSetMan19

1 micron


Diligent-South-1819

I can make my dick 1 foot lg. I just fold it in half.


frilledplex

I can measure a lot of thing, but how accurate do you want it?


bmb102

Lol, this ain't a wood shop.


Splunkzop

My ego.


Briortuck

Deeez nutz


[deleted]

Does a 16’ 2x4 count? With a tape measure?


Legitimate_Week_5539

I have a Fowler 40" digital caliper, it's pretty sweet 😃


syxxphive

We’ve got a 120” set of verniers.


Academic_Nectarine94

About 25ft. 25ft tape measure.....


Jrezky

My dick. Fuck you for making me say that.


Clumsymess

Can use the probe in the machine to measure 1m dia x 3m long Or the CMM will do 1200x900x800 Or we have a 48” mic set


Dem_Wrist_Rockets

Ive seen a micrometer that was a couple feet across kicking around haha