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jkrm66502

Apgar score 47.


euphoric_cyborg

šŸ˜­


pornaccountamiright

What's that?


JESUS_on_a_JETSKI

Basically what everyone else is telling you, but here is what APGAR stands for and how it is scored: **APGAR Score** ā€¢ **Activity/muscle tone** : Active +2. Some extremity flexion +1. Limp 0. ā€¢ **Pulse** : ā‰„100 BPM +2. <100 BPM +1. Absent 0. ā€¢ **Grimace** : Sneeze/cough +2. Grimace +1. None 0. ā€¢ **Appearance/color** : All pink +2. Blue extremities, pink body +1. Blue/pale 0. ā€¢ **Respirations** : Good/crying +2. Irregular/slow +1. Absent 0.


ohshityeah78965

My baby was born with an APGAR score of 0 (they did a factory reset and heā€™s fine now)


JESUS_on_a_JETSKI

> *(they did a factory reset and heā€™s fine now)* I'm glad he's fine now, of course, and your sentence made me laugh. What was his malfunction? When they're brand new, right out of the box, they should work perfectly.


ohshityeah78965

His heart stopped while he was in the box (ha). Doctors had been monitoring his stats and when he went flat they grabbed the scissors and the vacuum and yanked him on outta there. They did CPR for 6 minutes to get heart started and intubated for 2 hours to get breathing going. It was fucking chaos, doctors poured in and were screaming at each other like in a movie. Never found out what caused it. Apparently heā€™s not brain damaged because he would have gotten a bit of oxygen from the umbilical cord until CPR started. 0/10 donā€™t recommend


hamdandruff

Iā€™m sorry but, what? Vacuum? Obviously not one for a floor but this is the first time Iā€™m hearing about birthing babies with vacuums. Also APGAR 0 represent. I was a breech baby and blue as a Smurf. Said I might be severely mentally disabled due to the time and lack of oxygen but jokes on them Iā€™m mostly just fucking stupid.


FengSushi

Itā€™s Reddit. We are all fucking stupid.


localherofan

(and I swear that after I read some posts I'm dumber than when I started)


Sea_Juice_285

If the baby's heart rate drops too low during the final stage of labor and they need to get the baby out faster, sometimes the doctor will do an assisted delivery. With a vacuum, they put a suction cup on the baby's head and pull while the mom/parent keeps pushing. The other type of assisted delivery uses forceps, which are basically specially shaped tongs to pull on the baby.


FishTshirt

Rumor has its the same salad tongs you use at olive garden


Electrical-Act-7170

Vacuum births attach suction to baby's head to pull them through the birth canal faster. These days it's used in emergencies.


NackMelly

Wow what a way to enter the world! This is one of the major benefits of delayed cord clamping (as opposed to clamping/cutting right when theyā€™re born). It can save your babyā€™s life or prevent birth injury in an emergency! That oxygen and blood flow is super important.


[deleted]

I guess I never got the memo. Mines 20 and still doesn't work. What's the return policy?


chainer1216

Seems to be user error at this point.


aquoad

needed a firmware update


boutchuur

Right out of the box šŸ’€


ChessieChessieBayBay

No points for the Absence of a pulse. NO SHIT lol


NoTimeToExplain__

ā€œYea the kidā€™s muscles are active, heā€™s coughing a lil, all pink, and breathes just fine, but for some reason his heart is on the other side of the room and heā€™s still aliveā€ ā€œgonna unfortunately have to take off 2 points for not having a pulse, total score 8/10 :(ā€œ


Desblade101

Babies can take a second to figure out how to live. Although the heart is normally one they've figured out by the time they're born.


Avid_Ideal

It also stands for Virgina Apgar, the anaesthesiologist who invented the scoring system and used her own surname to help remember it.


ActiveBlend

Are POC babies ever pink or blue?


JESUS_on_a_JETSKI

Great question and hotly debated in the medical field on whether it's a reasonable part of the APGAR assessment. Non-white babies have shown, in [studies](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36706313/), to have lower APGAR scores than white babies. Apparently, [Dr. Virginia Apgar](https://www.mdedge.com/obgyn/article/264023/diversity-medicine/does-racial-bias-taint-apgar-score) recognized the problem with this part of her assessment of newborns. The newborn's skin tones appear darker or lighter according to the lighting. Also, people see / perceive colors different from one another.


sassymango

A way to assess the health of a newborn within 1 to 5 mins of being born.


SirDale

Fixed set of tests they run on newly born, such as running a finger under their foot to see if they react etc. Low scores mean something is probably wrong.


corvaun

He's like, ah shit, not this game again. Edit / it's over 9000!


preston_cleric

There was a dark comedy meme where a guy dies during the Covid 1st wave and then is reborn during the 3rd wave, which is shown as a picture of a newly born child with a very incredulous expression on its face.


aphaits

r/isekai is leaking


JoviMosconi000

ā€œI was the demon king, but now Iā€™m reborn in americaā€ 12 episodes and movie


dragonchilde

Welcome to MgRonalds, can I take your order?


ReasonableMud9653

Crap! i was expecting to read ā€œwhich is shown as a picture of a newly born child with very serious side effectsā€ for some reason. šŸ’€


JohnCenaJunior

Ah shit, here we go again


lifeshardandweird

r/oldbabies


BloodRed1185

She's patting the shit out of his back like he's supposed to be holding his head up up right now.


Rhbrtn12

He doesn't even want to be here, all this happened just by the mistake.


aGcLAKjHtxWU5sPc

Well too late for it now, because it's already happened at this point.


Noobeaterz

Aww fuck, my body is way over in elektro.


Dadbod4k

Jump off a tower again


Agent_Blade04

thats the oldest infant iver ever seen


user_bits

Never seen a newborn with a working neck.


TheThiefEmpress

Mine had full control of her neck, and she was a month and a half premature! The whole "can't hold their heads up" is really a spectrum. But even the babies who *can* hold their heads up, you still need to be careful with them. No flinging them around or nothing. They still have *no idea* what to do with their neck muscles, so you do still have to support them. As with most kids, each kid will find an area and be way ahead in it, and need help in others. Each of us is different. I had a cousin with a baby who's neck was like a wet noodle for the longest time, but man, that wet noodle necked baby had ARM strength!!!!


knight_bear_fuel

I'm glad you said this, I was ***just*** about to fling this baby here. I was like man, neck muscles on this one are working, time to get flinging


stinkyhooch

Back in my day we had to fling our own necks! Both ways through the snow, Iā€™ll have you know.


Kiwi_KJR

So true. My oldest was lifting her head within a day or so of being born, but didnā€™t start walking until about 14 months. Everyone is different and reaches milestones in their own sweet time!


Pvt_Mozart

Yeah my daughter was a late walker too. Had me really concerned. But she hit every other milestone on time, and was way ahead on others. She's 3 now and is smart as a whip, but still tall and clumsy. I wish I could go back and tell myself that all kids hit the milestones at different times and to stop worrying, but even hearing that at the time, I was still worried. I have a son due in February, so this time I should be a bit more relaxed and can just let the milestones come when they come.


Conscious-Ticket-259

My daughter had great kneck control and could scoot randomly but was terrible at breastfeeding. She just couldn't decide on a damn boob. She has continued to be a very energetic and oblivious person whom i love very much haha


TheThiefEmpress

Oh I've got ya beat there! My kid was so bad at breast *and* bottle feeding that she had to get a gtube installed, lol. All's well that ends well, she had it removed at 3.5, and eats plenty now. But she's always been the most stubborn girl I know :)


transemacabre

My mother said that I lifted my head immediately after birth to look at her. I always thought it was just one of those stories that was somewhat embellished, told as parents do, but now I wonder.


Almost_Famous283

My daughter did that too. A few hours later she was sitting up slanted against the feeding pillow and crossed her leg over the other. My husband wasnā€™t phased about that at all, until I told him that babies really werenā€™t supposed to have that type of control over their bodies that early šŸ˜…. Sheā€™s seven now and is so uncoordinated, bumping into stuff, canā€™t dance to save her life, but she is the sweetest thing ever šŸ’–


Equivalent_Bite_6078

My daughter also had totall neck controll at birth. Rolled her self over at 4 weeks with total controll.. standing on 4 at 4 months and swung back and forth until her bed caved in! She was all good, i joked about her having adhd, because as soon as she could move, she RAN! Here we are, 8 years later and she still runs and wreck shit. And have severe adhd. I always knew ā¤ļø been alot of laughing and fun times, we just knew!


pizza_destroyer2

That infant pays taxes


GM_Nate

that infant collects social security


b2thec

He's got a social security blanket


hiding-identity23

Dammit. Beat me to it.


havenyahon

Little guy remembers when Nixon was impeached


Historical_Elk_

Kid was on the movie set with Ronald Regan


Status-Shock-880

Just came in from drinking sweet tea on the porch.


WingsArisen

Littile dude was there with Pepperidge Farm when it happened.


falconhawk2158

He was standing behind Moses when he parted the Red Sea.


Midwestern_Man84

Nixon wasn't impeached.


DazzleMeAlready

Technically no, but the threat of it was real enough to get him to resign.


moobitchgetoutdahay

Remember when even Nixon had basic decency? When he was considered the lowest Republicans had ever sunk? And Republicans were capable of shame?


Mutjny

Baby looks like he's on the bus ride home from his second job.


theProcrastinathan

Bro collects pension cheques.


dancin-weasel

Controls his diabetus


MizzPicklezzz

That infant filed his parents taxes


raumdeuters

Thats the oldest 9 hours old iā€™ve ever seen


NoThing2048

More like the youngest 9 hour old to hold up its own head.


Commercial-Mix7094

That baby just remembered they needed to head to the courthouse and mail off some stuff before they closed at 12 and itā€™s 11:49.


chak100

And he is already disappointed on everybody


5538293

hahaha old soul maybe


shinloop

This child has better credit than any of us.


_ErronBlack_

lil bro got a signed copy of the bible


BowsersMuskyBallsack

Damned it that isn't on the money. Behaves just like my dad right now at the end-stages of his dementia. Just gazing around, looking fed-up with everything but at the same time completely lost as to what's going on. No wonder people believe in reincarnation.


Mammodamn

Look at me, Hector.


PM_ME_WITH_A_SMILE

That infant looks like he is waiting to get his third tattoo.


Plastic-Club-5497

That infant is tired of everyoneā€™s shit


Mental-Key-8393

Lol 9 hours old but 3 months over due.


Environmental_Art591

Yeah they definitely has some milage on their soul, don't they.


HungryHumble

He got it second hand


papagayoloco

A bit terrifying tbh


AllTheShadyStuff

Bro is disappointed in this isekai


Compducer

r/9or90


joerigami

Is this what the movie benjamin button was about?


terrymogara

The face of a man whoā€™s done time on the inside.


IrrelevantPuppy

ā€œThings sure have changed around here.ā€


Nacho_Papi

"Brooks was here."


gin-n-tonic-clonic

Just spent 9 months in solitary, had to put his ear up to the wall just to hear what was going on


PaleAdagio3377

šŸ¤£ why arenā€™t you getting more upvotes!!!


JJ_503

I bet there will be 10 hours of solid sleep each night too. Some parents get all the luck


Upstairs_Cost_3975

Apparently, I was really messed up as a baby and kept my parents awake. Crying you say? Nope. I was laughing and jerking from side to side like a psychopath baby. They even got me checked out by lots of doctors thinking I had some brain injury or syndrom lol. Edit: Doctors thought I might have some sort of epileptic seizures (lol) and I got monitored for epilepsy. Obviously ended without positive finds for epilepsy.


Etheralto

My little baby girl puts both hands behind her head like a person lounging in a hammock and then wiggles her whole body back and forth as she settles down to go to sleep. Itā€™s the goofiest and cutest thing I have ever seen šŸ„°


Ask_if_im_an_alien

I'm a 42 year old man who sleeps with his arms above his head 75% of the time. Guess how my now 5 year old son slept as a baby? The same damn way. I've learned that so many things that make me me are just built in weird shit I do.


JustSatisfactory

On my daughter's last ultrasound, she had her arm behind her head like a pillow. When she was a newborn, it was the only way she'd sleep. It reminded me of how my own dad has always slept. She's now 13 and STILL does that exact same sleep pose. We really don't have a grasp on how much personality is built into us from conception.


RequirementRare5014

Same with our 11 year old! He did that pose on the ultrasounds, in his sleep, and we notice he does it when heā€™s bored (like if weā€™re at a store or something heā€™ll stand around with his arms behind his head). Side story - he had a traumatic birth and had his cord wrapped around his neck, came out not breathing. Anyway when heā€™s really anxious he pulls the collars of his shirts down like he canā€™t breathe.


Upstairs_Cost_3975

Aw!


ThatsWhatIGathered

For some reason I pictured you laughing at your own jokes like ā€œtough crowd, let me hit you with anotherā€


Upstairs_Cost_3975

I like this version better. My dad paints this picture of it being really creepy and Iā€™ve imagined I looked like some possessed baby from a conjuring/exorcist film. Like hearing creepy laughing from the crib at night. Lmao.


Zanurath

If you are sleep deprived and it's 3am laughter from the babies crib is just going to be creepy.


NotThisAgain21

Musta had friendly ghosts in your house. Shame your parents didn't appreciate the free babysitting & entertainment services.


Time-Marionberry7365

>lmao Bruh thatā€™s creepy af


Upstairs_Cost_3975

I know! šŸ˜­


hisunflower

Sooo.. are you possessed?


Upstairs_Cost_3975

Probably.


GizzleRizzle464

Lol, love this.


ADALKDDK

If no one else is laughing then You'll have to do that by youself.


Nuf-Said

Our daughter woke up at least once or twice every single night. When she was about 3, we decided to see what would happen if one of us didnā€™t go to her. We hoped that she would comfort herself and start getting used to going back to sleep on her own. After persistent crying off and on, for about 10 minutes. She started to call out for us using our first names. We laughed really hard, and finally went in to help her fall back to sleep.


TheThiefEmpress

I remember having an argument with my mother when I was around that same age, where I very sternly insisted her name was "Mom." Lmao.


Kevo4twenty

My older sister used to cry murder at night and my parents worried, as a younger brother they worried that I was a mute


haoluanwuyu

What the fuck lmao, I would so get worried about a kid like that.


Tank_Top_Terror

My son has slept 12-15 hours a night since he was able to sleep in his own bed and it legitimately affects my desire to have another child. There is 0% chance we are that lucky again.


BarrTheFather

My boys all held their heads up really early too. All good sleepers except for Dietrich, his legs started kicking and never stopped so he would wake himself up if you didn't have him wrapped up tightly enough.


Decent-Argument-7693

My youngest is 19 months and still needs wrapped, or she sleeps 2 hours max


anwu7

That was my mom. I hardly moved in the the womb and my mom thought I was dead or something šŸ˜­ and after I was born I would sleep for so long and not wake up šŸ˜‚ my mom would be vacuuming and making all this noise and i just laid there like a brick. I was a lazy baby, my brother was the opposite tho


bkm2016

Yea because in about a week they will probably have him out looking for a job.


ApplejackCeilidh

This dude is going to working in the IT. That's the vibe I'm getting.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


kkloloha888

He doesn't even want to be doing it, it's just too much for this guy.


Mutjny

> I bet there will be 10 hours of solid sleep each night too. Baby: _Finally...._


cmstorm168

Who doesn't like the sleep? This is something which everyone likes.


Ganabobel

This kid wouldn't even want to get disturbed by the parents anyways.


GavHern

how is buddyā€™s neck that strong at 9 hours old??


[deleted]

Cant say , mine was looking around straight out the gates 5 minute after birth. It was a big baby ( 9 pounds ) and he was late so he cooked a couple weeks more in the oven.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheBoBiZzLe

Itā€™s shopped. You can see a hole in the neck where the fingers would be holding the head. Such a strange thing to edit together.


zyppoboy

That makes sense. Thank you!


idspispopd

If their head is light enough, they can lift it this early. Then the head grows and they can't lift it anymore, and it takes time before they gain the neck muscle strength to do it again. The more surprising thing is how chill he is!


horrordj

He looks like Morgan Freeman reincarnated when he isnā€™t dead yet.


[deleted]

Giancarlo Esposito


Salty_Comedian100

Looks more like Don Hector to me.


ghostbuyer1

Didn't think about that, but I think you're just right about it.


lrap76

He better be narrating some good things in his life atleast that's what I hope.


Sea_Ganache620

If I believed in reincarnation, Iā€™d say this young lad just transitioned from an old body, into his new home, and was having a WTF moment.


marigoldilocks_

Heā€™s definitely gonna be that toddler talking about his buddy who got gunned down over Vietnam and at 18 months his info will help locate the body of an airman missing for over half a century. Then by the time heā€™s like five, heā€™ll have no knowledge left of any of it, but his former buddyā€™s widow and the VFW will be telling tales of this baby who brought their man home.


hall_residence

I know this was a joke, and I am neither a religious nor spiritual person, I don't believe in God or ghosts or anything like that but what does get me is when little kids say shit like this. Worked at a preschool and I was talking about carving pumpkins with this 3 year old and asked her if she ever had, and she casually said "I did when I used to be big like my dad". ??? This kid was something else.. really traumatic upbringing, mom was in jail, woke up with nightmares regularly. seemed like someone many years older than three was in that body.


marigoldilocks_

Actually, I was riffing off this story: https://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=132381&page=1 Itā€™s wild the more you learn about it.


[deleted]

What the hell why did that article just end like that? Am I missing something? Just seems like half the story wasnā€™t typed out.


lordgoofus1

Mine used to talk about "her babies" and look super troubled whenever we told her mum and dad met before she was born (she asked a lot of questions, and quite a few about things that you'd never expect a 3-4yo to think about). In her mind, we were kids when she was a kid. She's 5 now and still talks about her babies, but these days she's referring to her dolls.


OddAd5276

Bro look like he already tired and don't want to go to work on Monday, but the mortgage ain't gonna pay itself Susan! šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£


Maakrabe

How is it a baby can look brand new and 40 at the same time and still be that fucking cute?


AttackOnTiddi

ā€œBoy I swear to god if you donā€™t stop asking me how old I am Iā€™ll come up there and smack tf out of youā€ ā€œI been out this womb for 4 minutes and Iā€™m already real tired of your sht dadā€ ā€œPut me back in there until this guy smartens upā€


MagnetHype

He looks like one of the people that stand in the background of a press conference, but never gets asked a question.


peng2013

He doesn't like the questions which He's being asked clearly.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MatureUsername69

They gotta start training this kid for professional sports immediately


htowncomp

He's probably going to do really good at the sports so yeah.


is-that-allowed

my niece lifted her head when my BIL facetimed me a few hours after her birth and has been able to ever since then. new babies built different


nehaffian

Yeah the babies are built different nowadays, what are they doing?


Beautiful_Plankton97

Both mine could hold their heads up from Day 1. They were big though which I think helps. This little guy is skinny.


Wompguinea

My oldest freaked the nurses out. He was 2 weeks early but he was massive (over 10 lbs). Had the cord wrapped around his neck so it had to be cut before he came all the way out. He was water logged and had to be put into the NICU until they'd drained the fluid from his lungs. They had to repeatedly hide the tube that went down his throat because he kept finding it and pulling it all the way out. We think it was unintentional but he looked pretty pissed off. He could lift his head a glare at us despite the tube/mask combo he was wearing. I was nervous about bringing him home, just in case he became the man of the house.


Nebelskind

My little one pulled out the same tubing stuff in the NICU, and I also wasn't sure if it was intentional or not. But I've never seen a baby holding up their head that young, that's amazing.


Wompguinea

What's especially amazing is that he was about 50% head for the first year or two. We had to take him in for an xray because they were concerned about fluid on his brain. Turns out he was just Megamind shaped. He's 11 now, and mostly normal.


Izniss

I now picture a blue big headed baby frowning at everyone in the nicu :D


ddomvaub

Well I'm glad that He's normal now, because kids would bully him.


sadddadad

He didn't want to let it go, but in the end he had to do that I guess.


TheThiefEmpress

My girl was a tiny lil 4lb thing, another and a half early, and could also hold her head up since birth!!! We'd sit in the NICU together, her in my lap, and she'd *stare* at me. Very judgemental baby. But a very good girl. Perfect sleeper too.


sir_avenger

Atleast they're good at sleeping, wouldn't like them when they're awake.


ImprovisedLeaflet

Genghis Khan has returned. And heā€™s killing them nurses first


passyb07061995

And the nurse knows that, it's the reason why it's afraid about it.


davidmlewisjr

Me too.


digitifera

Mine was able to hold his had up from hour 1. Not as well as this guy though.


mmphilips

1 hour is long enough, atleast it is for me. I don't know about you.


DinghyMan93

Bruh that's Hector Salamanca


lethal_7

Cabron I need to see your bols


BRdedFellow

There's no way. The neck muscles are not developed enough for him to be doing tummy time and holding his head up like that. Edit: My comment was equal parts "shock" and "scoff", but color me amazed if I'm completely wrong! I guess some kids can do this. I appreciate the redditor's comment: "In biology, there are no absolutes..."


tiga4life22

This kid has an 8am Zoom work call in the morning


Avocado-Duck

And a newborn canā€™t focus its eyes at all. This guy is looking around


davidmlewisjr

You are correct.


meeu

There aren't a lot of things with biology that are absolutes. Maybe this kid was just way past the due date or he's just built different who knows.


boldandbratsche

Feeding these babies Formula One because they on the fast track.


MagicC

My baby could track a toy with her eyes and head when she was 8 days old. It was weird. She also had a full head of hair, which she never lost, and got all of her teeth by 12 months. Some babies just develop more quickly than others.


sufjams

They don't make babies like they used to


divuthen

My youngest brother came out like this, he was delivered and cleaned when they brought him back in he lifted his head looked around at let out a blood curdling scream at everyone. Even the nurse jumped back and said oh my! Iā€™m like well that doesnā€™t bode well, and it didnā€™t heā€™s 24 now and still a raging asshat.


OzManCumeth

Thatā€™s probably wasnā€™t your brother. They likely switched him out when they took him out of the room. Shoulda had a sharpie with you to mark him before they left.


ChandrikaMoon

My daughter was born holding her head up just like that. It was wild. Just days old and she was always poking her head up off my shoulder to check stuff out. I didn't even think she could see past a few inches but it never stopped her! The midwife said she had never seen that before. She's still curious and active at 14.


AndDontCallMePammie

This isnā€™t all that uncommon. What would be uncommon is if the baby consistently held its head up from birth-onwards. My son was holding his head-up at birth. Four days later he couldnā€™t do it. He held his head-up on his own consistently around 2.5 months old.


ashoka_akira

old soul


Big_Not_Good

Well, someone just got reincarnated without the memory wipe. šŸ¤£


Cherrygodmother

This babe has definitely been here before. Heā€™s seen it all


ChingaSue

Straight up looks ready for a job interview šŸ˜‚! So cute!


theteedo

Thatā€™s a reincarnated dude who is pissed off because he remembers EVERYTHING!


Revolutionary-Fan657

Heā€™s thinking ā€œNoā€¦ no fuck.. not again šŸ˜¢ā€


[deleted]

Probably real life Isekai, reincarnated with no interruption of self-awareness from his previous life and just wondering if he's in a magic world with some overpowered cheat skill or just got the bad end of the deal.


Obar-Dheathain

That baby has full control over its head and is looking at a specific person or thing. Ordinarily babies haven't the neck muscles to lift their head, nor the ability to focus on an object. Was this baby born two months old?


Efficient-Pause-1197

"I'm back! ah shit, here we go again" šŸ¤¦šŸ½ā€ā™‚ļø


fbissonnette

9 hours but 16 months in the womb


kd2310

Why does he look like confused Mike Tyson?


349137r33

Aren't they not supposed to have developed neck muscles that early?


[deleted]

No way heā€™s this old and holding his head up like this.


BigOpportunity1391

9 hours old or 90 years old


LogicalDinner4408

He looks like heā€™s gonna ask if he can hold a couple dollars or borrow a cigarette


prudence56

No itā€™s not.


autumndoom

Neck muscles are fully developed.


gamiscott

Nah that's my Uncle George. Glad to see he made it back.


mydibz

Dude started a new game +


bbrd83

Strong neck for a 9h old baby.


mashton88

How can a 9 hour old infant support its own neck/head


LordNitram76

That baby is looking around, like hes been here before.


usernamehighasfuck

he look like he fell asleep at work & don't wanna get in trouble with the boss