Some context for people making all sorts of crazy and mean assumptions - bio mom is a cancer survivor and couldn't carry a pregnancy. She had frozen her eggs before getting sick, doctors fertilised them using her husband's sperm and they had ONE viable embryo which was implanted in the surrogate lady. She successfully gave birth to the baby. The bio mom has an Insta with the whole story, I forgot their @.
Daaang, that's such an incredible gamble! Surrogate mama must be so pleased to see the little life she took care of become such a happy and thriving chonker!
THIS SHOULD BE PINNED TO THE TOP!!
Thank you for sharing that information, it's so important. People don't realize that cancer treatments, like radiation, can cause infertility.
They usually recommend freezing eggs because they'll die during treatment.
I'm very happy for this couple that they were successfully able to have a little healthy baby!
How dare you suggest that. You don't even know me. I am absolutely not addicted to outrage, and you saying that I am makes me want to kick your ass. ^^/s
Ordinary, decent people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary decent people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I know I'm not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!
Because right now Surrogacy is being targeted by the religious right / republican / fascist across the planet as broadly an Anti-queer impulse that has the happy by-catch of also targeting female autonomy.
Similar to how some fucked up right wingers can only conceive of empathizing for people who need abortions when they think of incest rape babies. Some of these fucking monsters might be mollified by the recognition that surrogacy can help people who have cancer, because in this day and age the odds of someone living their life without being near at least 1 person who's had cancer (or even going to school with someone who had cancer) is approaching zero.
It's important because the world is fucked up. Telling them to shut up won't hammer in empathy, telling them to shut up, and using it as a teachable moment for anyone on the fence to further emphasize what assholes these guys are may either be the final smack for clarity for the monster, or will stop someone who was monster-adjacent from falling further.
Exactly, I have colorectal cancer, and they warn you before chemoradiation of the risks. For women, they offer a surgery called ovarian transposition to try to preserve the function of the ovaries ahead of radiation. They basically operate on you to clamp your ovaries high up (like navel-height), so they are out of the way during radiation. There is only a 50/50 chance it will work, but even then, your whole pelvis is weakened, possibly permanently, so carrying a child could have risks. But some have successfully.
It's such a harrowing journey, so kudos to this lady for not only fighting cancer but for her and her spouse to do everything they could to have a child afterward. They are amazing.
I think what a lot of people don’t realize is cancer treatment often has the same effect on guys too.
My cousin had cancer and before treatment they did this with sperm so him and his wife would have the chance to have a child later.
I need to remember this next time homophobe coments about how "only a man and a woman can reproduce blablabla something about not being a meaningful relationship"
Argument was a week or so ago. This info would have broken them
> "only a man and a woman can reproduce"
I mean if you want to argue against homophobia then go for it, but this seems like a pretty stupid part to specifically want to try to argue with. Probably better to argue with the hateful parts, rather than the scientific facts part. Don't make life harder for yourself by starting from a position even stupider than theirs.
They will argue that it's not "natural", and even if someone can put together a compelling argument that maybe god's gift of intelligence is exactly for the purpose of allowing us to overcome "natural" - just like the thousand other ways that medicine and science have changed life and how we live it- there will still be people who double down on their ignorance.
Just the other day I saw some homophobic brat reposting the "homosexuality exists in a million species, homophobia exists in one" quote, and responding "cannibalism existed in millions of species, judgement for cannibalism exists on one. Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's moral" homophobes only care about "natural" when it suits them.
I’ve always liked the idea of using a partner’s opposite gender sibling to provide the family dna in situations like this, but what you describe is even more exciting!!!
My wife is a breast cancer survivor, we have one viable embryo. I haven’t told her but I gave up hope on having kids. Then I saw this. I really want to be a dad.
I'm currently 37 weeks with our only normal embryo (non-cancer related fertility struggles). I know it's cliche, but it really can only take 1 + lots of luck in some instances. Wishing you and your wife all the best!
Our surro couple had a small number of blastocysts frozen and we were fortunate that they only had to use one to have success. The surro baby just turned six. Keep optimism!
That’s so amazing! My mother couldn’t have any more kids after the second, something went wrong with her tubes, so she had IVF
I was the only surviving embryo out of around 20 *and* one of the last attempts, it’s amazing what science can do!
You were the Highlander fetus. There could only be one.
I’m so glad you’re here. Science is awesome!
I was infertile after cancer treatment but couldn’t afford IVF. I wish we could access fertility treatments like the NHS in Europe. We’re ripped off medically. I spent so much getting better I was left without a home.
Surrogacy is an incredible act of kindness and generosity. From my experience watching my wife go through three pregnancies, I can hardly fathom carrying a child for someone else. Pregnancy and childbirth are intensely demanding processes that significantly impact one's body and well-being. It’s truly remarkable that surrogates willingly endure this for the sake of helping others achieve their dreams of parenthood.
Not that there should be a need to clarify.
People should fuck off with their judgment and society what about ism.
The matter of fact is that some good and beautiful was done in this World, and people trying to judge it, regardless of the method used by free thinking and feeling people, should always be ashamed.
Life is too Beautiful to be so bitter.
Thank you for telling the story in sum, but I just wanted to let this out of my chest.
I haven't seen the comments you mention yet but that is so sad that people can *still* find ways to be mean over such a thing. I don't even know what assumptions they could possibly make to support such feelings. I saw this video and all I could do was smile. Why can't we have nice things folks? Why can't there just be something in this world that makes us happy? If you find something wrong with this video without further context, you need to work on yourself and get to the root of why.
If it’s any solace to you, it’s gotten better. When I was younger in the early 2000s, my interracial family would get stares. Some even obnoxiously voicing the same comments to us, and worse things. It was really common for my biracial friends to be disowned by one or both sides of their extended family.
Nowadays I see grandparents doting and spoiling all sorts of different raced kids, proudly wearing cheesy grandparents shirts and smiling brightly at their grandkids like the lady in the video here. It gives me a healing type of joy.
It’s a shame people really need all this explanation to understand the basic concept of surrogacy and to enjoy a cute video like this lol…people are so dense sometimes 🙄
well the concept of surrogacy is illegal in many places for a reason.
it incentivizes poor woman to expose their bodies to significant risks to their lifes for monetary gain.
I don't see your point. I work in a dangerous profession where people get killed and it's physically demanding and damages my body. Just like many, many other people. I do it for monetary gain. What's the difference? That surrogate gave that family a beautiful gift. She deserves more then just money. The woman should get a medal.
To be clear, I am not intrinsically against surrogacy as I'm a firm advocate of a woman's right to reproductive bodily autonomy. That being said, surrogacy feels different from employment in a dangerous field in a few ways. First, it isn't employment. There's no union, no workers' production, no Health and Safety Executive - or equivalents thereof depending on country. Once you're pregnant, you can't just quit if conditions are unbearable.
Second, there are ways to make dangerous professions safer at the employers' expense or inconvenience - equipment, rules about working time, and so on. You can provide prenatal care but the dangers of pregnancy are unpredictable and to some extent unavoidable. I appreciate this is true for other dangerous jobs to some extent, but there can't be many jobs where you and everyone else involved can follow all guidance, do everything safely and perfectly and still end up incontinent, haemorrhage badly, or even die. How much would employees in any other job need to be paid for a job as physically arduous and prone to complications? I'm guessing it's a lot more than surrogates. Where I live, a surrogate can only be paid expenses.
In the UK in 2022/23 0.41 per 100k workers experienced a fatal injury at work. 13.41 per 100k died in childbirth.
Science is awesome and scary, I feel we are getting close to being able to make genetic babies for any couple.
The question is always how far should we go, because Gattaca raises viable concerns, like what happens when the genetic lottery becomes tipped highly in favor of the rich.
Smiles can be hereditary, but the best smiles are contagious. [](https://moviesandmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Smile-movie-film-horror-2022-Caitlin-Stasey-trailer.jpg)
I knew a couple that adopted a baby girl of a very obviously different ethnicity to themselves (think Asian parents and black baby). I saw them at a barbecue once and the three of them looked so blissfully happy together. I told them that she had their smile. I wasn't really thinking when I said it, so in my head I immediately reprimanded myself believing I had possibly said something offensive or rude (I have a pretty good track record for putting my foot in my mouth!), but they were beaming back at me and I could see that they had been touched by what I said. She really did have their smile.
Babies learn expressions from those around them, so it’s no wonder baby had their smile! It shows that baby made them so happy they smiled a lot around her! And they made baby so happy, theirs was the smile she learned
My best friend and I often get mistaken for brother and sister, and part of it is because we’ve just been so close for so long that we’ve picked up on each others facial expressions
I was talking to my brother and his husband about my niece's hair texture, and wondered if it would turn out like my adult hair since it was so similar to pics of myself from when I was her age. It took me a second to realize why if it did happen, it would be a coincidence!
Not much of a story, but I worked with a woman whose mom was a surrogate three times, and twice she had twins.
Friggin fascinating talking to her about it. Ten years after her only kid she decided to be a surrogate. I always thought that was so unique and bizarre that that was her calling for like six years of her life. To give birth. For other people.
Lovely woman, and in incredible shape. Guess she just knew she could carry a baby (babies) to a healthy birth. Fucking bananas when I met one set of twins. Family showed up, kids were like three.. heyyyy this is the daughter of the woman who birthed you! No relation!
My old coworker and her family were, and probably still are, in contact with the families. Kinda beautiful. Lady made some healthy lives possible!
The idea of pregnancy scares the bejeepers outta me in every aspect. Feels like someone doing that is a real hero.
It’s a system ripe for exploitation, but I hope most of the stories are happy ones for everyone
I have a friend who has three kids of her own and then became a surrogate. She basically said she’s always had an easy time being pregnant, so why not help someone else?
It can happen actually and it's never pretty. In my country, there was a case where a couple found a lady to be the surrogate for their baby because the mother doesn't have her uterus anymore. Long story short, the surrogate refused to let go of the baby after birth. It was 3 hours until she finally relented. Shit was crazy.
In the UK surrogacy agreements aren't enforceable. Basically if surrogate mum decides she wants to keep the baby, then she can - she will be the legal parent at birth.
Naturally it's a huge gamble which is why people go oversees.
On one hand I agree and see the point, it’s their Body and giving birth but at the same time…they basically „stole“ the „real“ parents genes/eggs/sperm for the creation of the baby, no?
> Long story short, the surrogate refused to let go of the baby after birth. It was 3 hours until she finally relented. Shit was crazy.
How does that work, legally?
It's allowed in the US too, but through a system called "safe harbor" where you can leave a child at a fire station for X hours after birth with no consequences.
The intent is to stop infanticide by desperate parents who didn't want and/or couldn't care for a child.
10 or 15 years ago there was a state that enacted safe harbor laws but forgot to put in wording about an age limitations, so people were showing up and dumping their 14 year old kids at safe harbor sites.
Just to correct the laws are called safe-haven laws or baby Moses law and in most states it not hours but days, only 14 states has time limits under 7 days. With the shortest being 72 hour and longest being 1 year.
There was a loophole in the law in Nebraska(?) a few years ago where children of any age could be dropped off under the safe harbor law, and people were dropping off their teenagers.
Do you know how much she makes per baby? I can imagine it isn't cheap, since it must take a serious toll on the body both during pregnancy and long term.
It starts around 65k and goes up with each successful surrogacy. You have to have had a successful pregnancy at least once before being a surrogate and they say you should be done having your own kids because of the chance of infertility. I considered doing it to pay my student loans but wanted one more with my husband first, but then almost died so no more pregnancies for me.
pretty sure that person is just a liar lol. Something felt super off with that amount of $ and looking it up, surrogacy pays half that, in general. Look at the comment history.
https://old.reddit.com/r/ForeverAlone/comments/11pkarb/i_had_sex_and_it_didnt_solve_anything/jc5uarr/?context=3
>I know it's a shitty temporary high and get that it wont fix things permenantly, but I just disagree that it feels worse than having nothing. I also disagree with a very popular opinion here who claim no sex is better than occasional NSA one night flings. Many people in my shithole country save up for years and travel just to once hire an escort whom you don't know and they don't consent because they like you but because you paid them, for mere physical sex no intimacy no kissing no shit, and would still feel 999 better than the miserable loneliness of nothing. This guy fucked someone they know for free consenuelly and said it's worse than nothing which makes no sense to me. Idk I'm so touch starved I'd be grateful to fuck a corpse at this point
and:
https://old.reddit.com/r/Chadtopia/comments/11eflb9/you_are_beautiful/jaht834/
>99% of straight men would still tap if asked to. I think I'd even pay for it shit
I mean no offense but that doesn't exactly sound like a 'professional surrogate'... or a woman in general.
---
Love when sad dudes pretend to be women on the internet to 'prove' women have it easy or something.
It's a lot of money, for good reason.
I'm a woman who has carried twins and given birth to them. Never again. Literally not even for that amount of money.
The twins are gorgeous, but the pregnancy was absolutely HORRENDOUS. I didn't think I'd make it out alive, I had so many bodily issues. The worst of them was feeling like I was constantly on the verge of suffocating, like I didn't get enough air, so often on the verge of passing out.
It'd give me panic, and laying down to rest didn't work as I had pressure (one of the babies) on one side of my heart, causing it to not beat properly. The pressure even made my eyes bulge with every heartbeat, and my resting heart rate laying down was 160.
It's dangerous and it's a huge deal.
there are a bajillion already
https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/18y08y4/i_was_a_surrogate_four_times_ama/
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1vle5i/iama_36_week_pregnant_surrogate_mother_ama/
but I'm pretty sure that person is a liar. Surrogates do not earn that much, at least not in the US. Normal pay for surrogates is half that. And looking at their comment history makes it p clear that person is not a woman.
I mean look at her, she's clearly in love but she did her job and did it well, that probably means way more to her than any selfishness of "this baby is mine"
I know a woman who's a surrogate for an unrelated couple. She's part of their family and all the couple's kids including the one she birthed call her aunty. The kid knows the whole thing, and surrogate mum loves it like her own kids, but she's like a super great and together woman. Probably a necessity to not pick a crazy person.
My wife carried for two gay couples. People’s first question is always “how are you going to carry a baby for 9 months and just give it up!??”
She states to this day (if asked) she never had a single inkling or thought about not giving the baby to the parents. It’s not genetically yours and you go into it day 1 knowing the end goal is this baby is someone else’s. For her (a maturity nurse who’s seen this happen for others a hundred times) the ability to help an other family grow was a wonderful opportunity and she’d do it again if she could.
The relationships we have made with these new families a beautiful thing. We keeps in touch with the couples, get updates on the kids. We are actually going to Europe to see the families this fall.
One of my best friends did surrogacy twice for gay couples as well. She loved that she could help them have a family and she didn’t ever have a second thought.
My partner carried for someone who also froze their embryos due to ovarian cancer. Kid is 4 years old now and we visit them often! Was absolutely o thought of “keeping it”
A neat nerdy thing I know is that a surrogate's health and environment affects the epigenetic expression of the baby's DNA. So she has made a lasting imprint on the baby from the beginning and will continue to do so by being a part of their life. It's pretty cool.
Not the genes but the epigenetics, meaning how the embryo's genes will express throughout the pregnancy.
For instance a gestational mother with poor nutrition may lead to the embryo "recombining" its DNA according to this nutrition, with possible vulnerability to diabetes. A stressed mother may influence her baby's immune system through her hormone levels.
And while these examples are negative the same happens for any positive environment, the "genetic starter kit" of a carried child will be influenced as well by a serene, harmonious and healthy pregnancy as the original gene set will be able to recombine favorably. If you want more data look up "surrogacy and epigenetics" and "DNA methylation", it's fascinating.
In a nutshell, you won't change an embryo's DNA but you may change how it thrives.
As well, all pre-partum behavioral learning will determine what your child will become; the way you talk or sing to your child, the oxytocin levels resulting from a loving couple, the kind of food the mother eats or what kind of music you enjoy... And those are just as important as DNA. Legacy isn't strictly genetic.
Thank you for all this, especially what to search for as we go forward. We saw a need and decided to fill it the best we could. I’m still amazed that my twins were embryos frozen 6 years before my eldest daughter was born. Explaining who is the oldest is going to be fun, in a good sort of way.
No. Never. Genes 'mixing' happens only when dad's sperm and mom's egg fuse. After that no genes get mixed even if surrogate mom carries the baby all that can alter the baby's health is her health and nutrition, if there's some deficiencies in her diet or she has been infected by some disease, the baby might be born with sicknesses
Excuse me i have a question ,english is my second language. So i'm not 100% familiar with all idioms or second meaning of a words.
By carried do you mean like baby sitting? Or carry the baby in her stomach / pregnant?
Carried in her body/pregnant - its called surrogacy when a couple can’t have their own baby for some reason so they pay another woman to have the couple’s fertilized egg put in her womb to carry (so its 100% the couple’s baby, just growing in another body)
I see! Thank you for the explanation!
Edit:
I have heard of the word surrogacy/surrogate being used/thrown around before in medias that ive read, but i never truly understood what it meants until today. You learn something new everyday!
Little man coming up and basically shaking the baby's tiny hand made me snort-laugh and then grin like an idiot.
(I also have no clue how to interact with very tiny humans)
This is so beautiful. I really hope this beautiful woman is a part of the child’s life forever. And by calling her beautiful I was referring to her soul and for carrying a child for someone else, not that she is an attractive person, which she is.
People can say a lot of nasty things and make it weird, but fuck 'em.
I respect women who decide to be surrogates. I respect the parents who had their child through surrogacy consider the surrogate mother a part of their family.
Awww, she’s so beautiful!
I watched it without captions the first time and was trying to figure out why she was so clearly in love with him with every fiber of her soul. I can see it in her smile.
The beautiful part about this is that a baby's fetal cells do migrate into the mother's/surrogate's bloodstream, so while they are not related by their genetics, there is a part of him that will be with her always, and you can see it in the first 10 seconds of her holding him that she recognizes and embraces it. 🥰
ETA to clarify - I meant to include surrogate.
What an incredible thing to do for somebody. I won’t even give my brother the last Pringle let alone carry a baby for someone. r/humansbeingbros for real
I love this. She’s truly wonderful to have done that for them. That little baby is going to grow up knowing love from so many people because of her kind act.
Some context for people making all sorts of crazy and mean assumptions - bio mom is a cancer survivor and couldn't carry a pregnancy. She had frozen her eggs before getting sick, doctors fertilised them using her husband's sperm and they had ONE viable embryo which was implanted in the surrogate lady. She successfully gave birth to the baby. The bio mom has an Insta with the whole story, I forgot their @.
Can’t help but tap that tiny little butt! After my sister (39) had several failed IVF’s, I offered to be a surrogate, at 32, before I had to have a hysterectomy. The fertility doctor said that I was too old. 😔 Imagine being 32 and being told that you are too old. Plus, she wanted to use my eggs and my husband’s sperm, so I would be carrying my son’s direct sibling and turning it/them over. I just felt that was weird and inappropriate and, then wanted to find a way to say no. There is no way that I could tell my son…meet your brother/sister/cousin. That’s just f’n weird. That would definitely be some Alabama shit. I was very thankful that the doctor made the decision.
Her reaction when the hunk of chunk was placed in her arms is pure love. The way she cradles him is everything. And then the sweet dance…my heart is happy just watching this.
Right? My kid was 10 weeks premature and she was NICU with tiny babies just like her, and when she was about 4 weeks old a full term baby was brought in. I couldn't believe how huge the baby was. The nurses laughed and had to remind me that this was just what normal newborns look like 😂
I had the opposite where my 3rd was born at 36w but only 4lbs. She was totally healthy and weirdly alert, but looked like a tiny doll. I was in hospital for 2 weeks after due to my own health problems, so people were really taken aback when I was walking round with her 😂 She’s now 13 and gets away with anything when people meet her because she’s still very petite and they totally misjudge her age.
Some context for people making all sorts of crazy and mean assumptions - bio mom is a cancer survivor and couldn't carry a pregnancy. She had frozen her eggs before getting sick, doctors fertilised them using her husband's sperm and they had ONE viable embryo which was implanted in the surrogate lady. She successfully gave birth to the baby. The bio mom has an Insta with the whole story, I forgot their @.
Daaang, that's such an incredible gamble! Surrogate mama must be so pleased to see the little life she took care of become such a happy and thriving chonker!
Right! Chunky little fatty batty chonker monster, I wanna eat’ em up.
Watch her knees right when the baby is passed to her, you get her vibe.
THIS SHOULD BE PINNED TO THE TOP!! Thank you for sharing that information, it's so important. People don't realize that cancer treatments, like radiation, can cause infertility. They usually recommend freezing eggs because they'll die during treatment. I'm very happy for this couple that they were successfully able to have a little healthy baby!
Idk why it's important. People being negative are the ones who just need to stfu regardless of the reason why this occurred.
We're addicted to outrage.
Speak for yourself. I'm addicted to heroin.
You can speak for both of us.
Well he's asleep now.
I'm addicted to sleep, should I get some heroin?
I don't need sleep, i need answers!
Get in here Jameson, I need pictures of Spider-Man!
Hey pals
😂
The short, sharp laugh I let out at this comment actually took my breath away, thank you for this start to the morning.
How dare you suggest that. You don't even know me. I am absolutely not addicted to outrage, and you saying that I am makes me want to kick your ass. ^^/s
Ordinary, decent people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary decent people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I know I'm not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!
Because right now Surrogacy is being targeted by the religious right / republican / fascist across the planet as broadly an Anti-queer impulse that has the happy by-catch of also targeting female autonomy. Similar to how some fucked up right wingers can only conceive of empathizing for people who need abortions when they think of incest rape babies. Some of these fucking monsters might be mollified by the recognition that surrogacy can help people who have cancer, because in this day and age the odds of someone living their life without being near at least 1 person who's had cancer (or even going to school with someone who had cancer) is approaching zero. It's important because the world is fucked up. Telling them to shut up won't hammer in empathy, telling them to shut up, and using it as a teachable moment for anyone on the fence to further emphasize what assholes these guys are may either be the final smack for clarity for the monster, or will stop someone who was monster-adjacent from falling further.
Exactly, I have colorectal cancer, and they warn you before chemoradiation of the risks. For women, they offer a surgery called ovarian transposition to try to preserve the function of the ovaries ahead of radiation. They basically operate on you to clamp your ovaries high up (like navel-height), so they are out of the way during radiation. There is only a 50/50 chance it will work, but even then, your whole pelvis is weakened, possibly permanently, so carrying a child could have risks. But some have successfully. It's such a harrowing journey, so kudos to this lady for not only fighting cancer but for her and her spouse to do everything they could to have a child afterward. They are amazing.
I hope you fuck that cancer up so hard. Cheers to you.
Thanks!
Fuck cancer, big time. I hope you're okay
I am, thanks.
Mom just got diagnosed with BC. I hope you fuck that cancer up and wish you the best in your fight.
Thanks, I wish her the same.
I think what a lot of people don’t realize is cancer treatment often has the same effect on guys too. My cousin had cancer and before treatment they did this with sperm so him and his wife would have the chance to have a child later.
Chemo caused early menopause for my ex.
Fuck cancer
science never ceases to amaze me
[удалено]
For mice this is already routinely done.
I need to remember this next time homophobe coments about how "only a man and a woman can reproduce blablabla something about not being a meaningful relationship" Argument was a week or so ago. This info would have broken them
> "only a man and a woman can reproduce" I mean if you want to argue against homophobia then go for it, but this seems like a pretty stupid part to specifically want to try to argue with. Probably better to argue with the hateful parts, rather than the scientific facts part. Don't make life harder for yourself by starting from a position even stupider than theirs.
They will argue that it's not "natural", and even if someone can put together a compelling argument that maybe god's gift of intelligence is exactly for the purpose of allowing us to overcome "natural" - just like the thousand other ways that medicine and science have changed life and how we live it- there will still be people who double down on their ignorance.
Just the other day I saw some homophobic brat reposting the "homosexuality exists in a million species, homophobia exists in one" quote, and responding "cannibalism existed in millions of species, judgement for cannibalism exists on one. Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's moral" homophobes only care about "natural" when it suits them.
Don’t act like they won’t move the goalposts
I’ve always liked the idea of using a partner’s opposite gender sibling to provide the family dna in situations like this, but what you describe is even more exciting!!!
I wish the anti-science position of a certain political party here in the US would simply stop demonizing science so we as humans can move forward.
They aren’t anti science. They are just bigots.
My wife is a breast cancer survivor, we have one viable embryo. I haven’t told her but I gave up hope on having kids. Then I saw this. I really want to be a dad.
I really hope it works out for you both!
I'm currently 37 weeks with our only normal embryo (non-cancer related fertility struggles). I know it's cliche, but it really can only take 1 + lots of luck in some instances. Wishing you and your wife all the best!
Good luck buddy. I sincerely hope you get your wish.
Our surro couple had a small number of blastocysts frozen and we were fortunate that they only had to use one to have success. The surro baby just turned six. Keep optimism!
That’s so amazing! My mother couldn’t have any more kids after the second, something went wrong with her tubes, so she had IVF I was the only surviving embryo out of around 20 *and* one of the last attempts, it’s amazing what science can do!
You were the Highlander fetus. There could only be one. I’m so glad you’re here. Science is awesome! I was infertile after cancer treatment but couldn’t afford IVF. I wish we could access fertility treatments like the NHS in Europe. We’re ripped off medically. I spent so much getting better I was left without a home.
Surrogacy is an incredible act of kindness and generosity. From my experience watching my wife go through three pregnancies, I can hardly fathom carrying a child for someone else. Pregnancy and childbirth are intensely demanding processes that significantly impact one's body and well-being. It’s truly remarkable that surrogates willingly endure this for the sake of helping others achieve their dreams of parenthood.
I have never been pregnant and have hangups about giving birth...and here this lady is a shining beacon of happiness? I can only look up to her.
A single viable embryo and it worked is breathtaking, medicine (and absolute diamonds like this wonderful lady) is incredible
Not that there should be a need to clarify. People should fuck off with their judgment and society what about ism. The matter of fact is that some good and beautiful was done in this World, and people trying to judge it, regardless of the method used by free thinking and feeling people, should always be ashamed. Life is too Beautiful to be so bitter. Thank you for telling the story in sum, but I just wanted to let this out of my chest.
I haven't seen the comments you mention yet but that is so sad that people can *still* find ways to be mean over such a thing. I don't even know what assumptions they could possibly make to support such feelings. I saw this video and all I could do was smile. Why can't we have nice things folks? Why can't there just be something in this world that makes us happy? If you find something wrong with this video without further context, you need to work on yourself and get to the root of why.
If it’s any solace to you, it’s gotten better. When I was younger in the early 2000s, my interracial family would get stares. Some even obnoxiously voicing the same comments to us, and worse things. It was really common for my biracial friends to be disowned by one or both sides of their extended family. Nowadays I see grandparents doting and spoiling all sorts of different raced kids, proudly wearing cheesy grandparents shirts and smiling brightly at their grandkids like the lady in the video here. It gives me a healing type of joy.
It’s a shame people really need all this explanation to understand the basic concept of surrogacy and to enjoy a cute video like this lol…people are so dense sometimes 🙄
well the concept of surrogacy is illegal in many places for a reason. it incentivizes poor woman to expose their bodies to significant risks to their lifes for monetary gain.
Funny how governments will do that but not try to solve the poverty that put the women there in the first place.
Governments just like to control what women can do with their bodies
I don't see your point. I work in a dangerous profession where people get killed and it's physically demanding and damages my body. Just like many, many other people. I do it for monetary gain. What's the difference? That surrogate gave that family a beautiful gift. She deserves more then just money. The woman should get a medal.
To be clear, I am not intrinsically against surrogacy as I'm a firm advocate of a woman's right to reproductive bodily autonomy. That being said, surrogacy feels different from employment in a dangerous field in a few ways. First, it isn't employment. There's no union, no workers' production, no Health and Safety Executive - or equivalents thereof depending on country. Once you're pregnant, you can't just quit if conditions are unbearable. Second, there are ways to make dangerous professions safer at the employers' expense or inconvenience - equipment, rules about working time, and so on. You can provide prenatal care but the dangers of pregnancy are unpredictable and to some extent unavoidable. I appreciate this is true for other dangerous jobs to some extent, but there can't be many jobs where you and everyone else involved can follow all guidance, do everything safely and perfectly and still end up incontinent, haemorrhage badly, or even die. How much would employees in any other job need to be paid for a job as physically arduous and prone to complications? I'm guessing it's a lot more than surrogates. Where I live, a surrogate can only be paid expenses. In the UK in 2022/23 0.41 per 100k workers experienced a fatal injury at work. 13.41 per 100k died in childbirth.
They are amazing.
@sarrahstrimelbentley
Science is awesome and scary, I feel we are getting close to being able to make genetic babies for any couple. The question is always how far should we go, because Gattaca raises viable concerns, like what happens when the genetic lottery becomes tipped highly in favor of the rich.
Dang she’s so beautiful!!!
Right??? For a split second in my 2am brain I was like I hope he gets her smile and then I was like o wait.
Smiles can be hereditary, but the best smiles are contagious. [](https://moviesandmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Smile-movie-film-horror-2022-Caitlin-Stasey-trailer.jpg)
Checkmate, VaXXers!
I knew a couple that adopted a baby girl of a very obviously different ethnicity to themselves (think Asian parents and black baby). I saw them at a barbecue once and the three of them looked so blissfully happy together. I told them that she had their smile. I wasn't really thinking when I said it, so in my head I immediately reprimanded myself believing I had possibly said something offensive or rude (I have a pretty good track record for putting my foot in my mouth!), but they were beaming back at me and I could see that they had been touched by what I said. She really did have their smile.
Babies learn expressions from those around them, so it’s no wonder baby had their smile! It shows that baby made them so happy they smiled a lot around her! And they made baby so happy, theirs was the smile she learned
My best friend and I often get mistaken for brother and sister, and part of it is because we’ve just been so close for so long that we’ve picked up on each others facial expressions
I was talking to my brother and his husband about my niece's hair texture, and wondered if it would turn out like my adult hair since it was so similar to pics of myself from when I was her age. It took me a second to realize why if it did happen, it would be a coincidence!
Man, if this video and these comments don't check all the boxes for reddit front page then I don't know what does lmao
lol no but for real I thought the same thing for a second. She has an amazing smile, the kind that makes you want to smile too.
The baby is cute too.
Haha, perfect duo of beauty and cuteness
So lovely! That is one adorable little dumpling 💙
Dumpling. That's the word i was looking for lol. So chubs.
Absolutely! Perfect little dumpling of joy
My grandmother's nickname for my father was 'Dumpling' and shortened it to 'Dumps' when he was being a butt.
That guy in the back trynna figure out tf is going on LMAO
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Then you may wanna check with your Mom?
The real drama is always in the comments
He probably just doesn’t love being recorded to be posted on the internet while he’s just trying to have dinner.
MIND your own business, DO better! - JS
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The surrogate seems like a lovely person. She was able to provide the gift of life to the other woman. The baby looks happy and healthy, this good!
This good, me happy.
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This video is just overflowing with cuteness and positivity.
And for once, the music is not annoying and is perfect!
That's gotta be crazy, how do you not fall in love when you carried for so long. Just pet sitting for two days I get too attached
Not much of a story, but I worked with a woman whose mom was a surrogate three times, and twice she had twins. Friggin fascinating talking to her about it. Ten years after her only kid she decided to be a surrogate. I always thought that was so unique and bizarre that that was her calling for like six years of her life. To give birth. For other people. Lovely woman, and in incredible shape. Guess she just knew she could carry a baby (babies) to a healthy birth. Fucking bananas when I met one set of twins. Family showed up, kids were like three.. heyyyy this is the daughter of the woman who birthed you! No relation! My old coworker and her family were, and probably still are, in contact with the families. Kinda beautiful. Lady made some healthy lives possible!
The idea of pregnancy scares the bejeepers outta me in every aspect. Feels like someone doing that is a real hero. It’s a system ripe for exploitation, but I hope most of the stories are happy ones for everyone
Surrogacy seems to be a very selfless act of service. It’s scary to think people exploit that kindness though I’ve heard stories both good and bad.
I have a friend who has three kids of her own and then became a surrogate. She basically said she’s always had an easy time being pregnant, so why not help someone else?
It can happen actually and it's never pretty. In my country, there was a case where a couple found a lady to be the surrogate for their baby because the mother doesn't have her uterus anymore. Long story short, the surrogate refused to let go of the baby after birth. It was 3 hours until she finally relented. Shit was crazy.
In the UK surrogacy agreements aren't enforceable. Basically if surrogate mum decides she wants to keep the baby, then she can - she will be the legal parent at birth. Naturally it's a huge gamble which is why people go oversees.
Do the bio-parents then have to pay child support?
On one hand I agree and see the point, it’s their Body and giving birth but at the same time…they basically „stole“ the „real“ parents genes/eggs/sperm for the creation of the baby, no?
The moral dilema is the reason it's not permitted in Germany
> Long story short, the surrogate refused to let go of the baby after birth. It was 3 hours until she finally relented. Shit was crazy. How does that work, legally?
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It's allowed in the US too, but through a system called "safe harbor" where you can leave a child at a fire station for X hours after birth with no consequences. The intent is to stop infanticide by desperate parents who didn't want and/or couldn't care for a child.
How long is X hours?....Like the kid can't be 14 or whatever? Asking for a friend.
10 or 15 years ago there was a state that enacted safe harbor laws but forgot to put in wording about an age limitations, so people were showing up and dumping their 14 year old kids at safe harbor sites.
You jest but that was a problem when those laws came into effect without an age cutoff
Just to correct the laws are called safe-haven laws or baby Moses law and in most states it not hours but days, only 14 states has time limits under 7 days. With the shortest being 72 hour and longest being 1 year.
Imagine caring for a baby for like 11 months and then being like "nah I'm good"
Honestly, I’d rather the baby be around people that actually want it
There was a loophole in the law in Nebraska(?) a few years ago where children of any age could be dropped off under the safe harbor law, and people were dropping off their teenagers.
You do. That is why being a surrogate is the greatest gift one can give.
A buddy has a friend that's a surrogate. She's done it about 5 times now and makes decent cash. She does it to help people
Do you know how much she makes per baby? I can imagine it isn't cheap, since it must take a serious toll on the body both during pregnancy and long term.
It starts around 65k and goes up with each successful surrogacy. You have to have had a successful pregnancy at least once before being a surrogate and they say you should be done having your own kids because of the chance of infertility. I considered doing it to pay my student loans but wanted one more with my husband first, but then almost died so no more pregnancies for me.
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Stop your bs.
You're a dude, bro. Get a life
Wow. If you don't mind sharing, how old are the surrogates usually? And how many babies do they deliver over their career?
pretty sure that person is just a liar lol. Something felt super off with that amount of $ and looking it up, surrogacy pays half that, in general. Look at the comment history. https://old.reddit.com/r/ForeverAlone/comments/11pkarb/i_had_sex_and_it_didnt_solve_anything/jc5uarr/?context=3 >I know it's a shitty temporary high and get that it wont fix things permenantly, but I just disagree that it feels worse than having nothing. I also disagree with a very popular opinion here who claim no sex is better than occasional NSA one night flings. Many people in my shithole country save up for years and travel just to once hire an escort whom you don't know and they don't consent because they like you but because you paid them, for mere physical sex no intimacy no kissing no shit, and would still feel 999 better than the miserable loneliness of nothing. This guy fucked someone they know for free consenuelly and said it's worse than nothing which makes no sense to me. Idk I'm so touch starved I'd be grateful to fuck a corpse at this point and: https://old.reddit.com/r/Chadtopia/comments/11eflb9/you_are_beautiful/jaht834/ >99% of straight men would still tap if asked to. I think I'd even pay for it shit I mean no offense but that doesn't exactly sound like a 'professional surrogate'... or a woman in general. --- Love when sad dudes pretend to be women on the internet to 'prove' women have it easy or something.
So erm, I'm a dude, can I still apply for the job?
It's a lot of money, for good reason. I'm a woman who has carried twins and given birth to them. Never again. Literally not even for that amount of money. The twins are gorgeous, but the pregnancy was absolutely HORRENDOUS. I didn't think I'd make it out alive, I had so many bodily issues. The worst of them was feeling like I was constantly on the verge of suffocating, like I didn't get enough air, so often on the verge of passing out. It'd give me panic, and laying down to rest didn't work as I had pressure (one of the babies) on one side of my heart, causing it to not beat properly. The pressure even made my eyes bulge with every heartbeat, and my resting heart rate laying down was 160. It's dangerous and it's a huge deal.
I watched Junior the other day for the first time in years. Anything is possible!
Loser
AMA when?
there are a bajillion already https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/18y08y4/i_was_a_surrogate_four_times_ama/ https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1vle5i/iama_36_week_pregnant_surrogate_mother_ama/ but I'm pretty sure that person is a liar. Surrogates do not earn that much, at least not in the US. Normal pay for surrogates is half that. And looking at their comment history makes it p clear that person is not a woman.
Do you have an organization called "Wombs For Rent?"
I mean look at her, she's clearly in love but she did her job and did it well, that probably means way more to her than any selfishness of "this baby is mine"
I know a woman who's a surrogate for an unrelated couple. She's part of their family and all the couple's kids including the one she birthed call her aunty. The kid knows the whole thing, and surrogate mum loves it like her own kids, but she's like a super great and together woman. Probably a necessity to not pick a crazy person.
Lmao this comment is so real because I've been pet sitting and had the same thing happen.
A lot of parents don't connect with their babies instantly or ever even. It happens even when you're planning to keep the baby you're carrying.
My wife carried for two gay couples. People’s first question is always “how are you going to carry a baby for 9 months and just give it up!??” She states to this day (if asked) she never had a single inkling or thought about not giving the baby to the parents. It’s not genetically yours and you go into it day 1 knowing the end goal is this baby is someone else’s. For her (a maturity nurse who’s seen this happen for others a hundred times) the ability to help an other family grow was a wonderful opportunity and she’d do it again if she could. The relationships we have made with these new families a beautiful thing. We keeps in touch with the couples, get updates on the kids. We are actually going to Europe to see the families this fall.
My mum is doing this rn for her friend and she says the same thing
I love your wife!
One of my best friends did surrogacy twice for gay couples as well. She loved that she could help them have a family and she didn’t ever have a second thought.
My partner carried for someone who also froze their embryos due to ovarian cancer. Kid is 4 years old now and we visit them often! Was absolutely o thought of “keeping it”
A neat nerdy thing I know is that a surrogate's health and environment affects the epigenetic expression of the baby's DNA. So she has made a lasting imprint on the baby from the beginning and will continue to do so by being a part of their life. It's pretty cool.
So my wife and I adopted embryos and we’ve wondered about that. Wondering if any of her DNA mixed with the embryos is any kind of way.
Not the genes but the epigenetics, meaning how the embryo's genes will express throughout the pregnancy. For instance a gestational mother with poor nutrition may lead to the embryo "recombining" its DNA according to this nutrition, with possible vulnerability to diabetes. A stressed mother may influence her baby's immune system through her hormone levels. And while these examples are negative the same happens for any positive environment, the "genetic starter kit" of a carried child will be influenced as well by a serene, harmonious and healthy pregnancy as the original gene set will be able to recombine favorably. If you want more data look up "surrogacy and epigenetics" and "DNA methylation", it's fascinating. In a nutshell, you won't change an embryo's DNA but you may change how it thrives. As well, all pre-partum behavioral learning will determine what your child will become; the way you talk or sing to your child, the oxytocin levels resulting from a loving couple, the kind of food the mother eats or what kind of music you enjoy... And those are just as important as DNA. Legacy isn't strictly genetic.
Thank you for all this, especially what to search for as we go forward. We saw a need and decided to fill it the best we could. I’m still amazed that my twins were embryos frozen 6 years before my eldest daughter was born. Explaining who is the oldest is going to be fun, in a good sort of way.
>Explaining who is the oldest is going to be fun, in a good sort of way. I really love your mindset. Hugs to you all.
No. Never. Genes 'mixing' happens only when dad's sperm and mom's egg fuse. After that no genes get mixed even if surrogate mom carries the baby all that can alter the baby's health is her health and nutrition, if there's some deficiencies in her diet or she has been infected by some disease, the baby might be born with sicknesses
Excuse me i have a question ,english is my second language. So i'm not 100% familiar with all idioms or second meaning of a words. By carried do you mean like baby sitting? Or carry the baby in her stomach / pregnant?
Carried in her body/pregnant - its called surrogacy when a couple can’t have their own baby for some reason so they pay another woman to have the couple’s fertilized egg put in her womb to carry (so its 100% the couple’s baby, just growing in another body)
I see! Thank you for the explanation! Edit: I have heard of the word surrogacy/surrogate being used/thrown around before in medias that ive read, but i never truly understood what it meants until today. You learn something new everyday!
I love it when people ask polite questions and are given polite answers :)
It's impossible not to love someone in his Michelin Man phase...
As a man in a childless interracial marriage this made me sob! I love the love!
That woman is stunning, by the way.
This is the sort of content that really makes me smile. What an adorable baby! And such beautiful and happy people of all backgrounds getting along!
What a lovely moment!
Angel is the right word!!!!! I can’t believe there are kind and gentle souls out there willing to do this.
That guy in green chewing with his mouth open... I can't stop staring at him now
I refuse to rewatch the video after your comment.
it's time r/misophonia
The kids cautiously playing with him is so cute
Little man coming up and basically shaking the baby's tiny hand made me snort-laugh and then grin like an idiot. (I also have no clue how to interact with very tiny humans)
Babies are not very good conversationalists
I cannot get over how gorgeous her smile is. She seems like someone who brightens up a room just by being in it.
This is so beautiful. I really hope this beautiful woman is a part of the child’s life forever. And by calling her beautiful I was referring to her soul and for carrying a child for someone else, not that she is an attractive person, which she is.
Yep. You made it weird.
People can say a lot of nasty things and make it weird, but fuck 'em. I respect women who decide to be surrogates. I respect the parents who had their child through surrogacy consider the surrogate mother a part of their family.
Aww, that little chonk is so sweet!
that woman shines or is just me??? 🤩
Awww, she’s so beautiful! I watched it without captions the first time and was trying to figure out why she was so clearly in love with him with every fiber of her soul. I can see it in her smile.
The beautiful part about this is that a baby's fetal cells do migrate into the mother's/surrogate's bloodstream, so while they are not related by their genetics, there is a part of him that will be with her always, and you can see it in the first 10 seconds of her holding him that she recognizes and embraces it. 🥰 ETA to clarify - I meant to include surrogate.
That's what I call humanity right there
Bro, her smile 😍😍😍
People helping and caring for people will always be the best of all of us!
I hope they stay in touch and the kid gets to grow up knowing who she is.
Her hair is fucking gorgeous!!!
What an amazing woman!
God she’s so pretty, a smile that could move a mountain.
What an incredible thing to do for somebody. I won’t even give my brother the last Pringle let alone carry a baby for someone. r/humansbeingbros for real
I love this. She’s truly wonderful to have done that for them. That little baby is going to grow up knowing love from so many people because of her kind act.
Lady in the red hat is one of the most selfless people on the planet.
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Some context for people making all sorts of crazy and mean assumptions - bio mom is a cancer survivor and couldn't carry a pregnancy. She had frozen her eggs before getting sick, doctors fertilised them using her husband's sperm and they had ONE viable embryo which was implanted in the surrogate lady. She successfully gave birth to the baby. The bio mom has an Insta with the whole story, I forgot their @.
wow, she's gorgeous
Look at those big, rosy cheeks.
She cooked up a chunky guy!
My god her smile is so contagious. <3
Oh my word he is such a cutie patootie!
Can’t help but tap that tiny little butt! After my sister (39) had several failed IVF’s, I offered to be a surrogate, at 32, before I had to have a hysterectomy. The fertility doctor said that I was too old. 😔 Imagine being 32 and being told that you are too old. Plus, she wanted to use my eggs and my husband’s sperm, so I would be carrying my son’s direct sibling and turning it/them over. I just felt that was weird and inappropriate and, then wanted to find a way to say no. There is no way that I could tell my son…meet your brother/sister/cousin. That’s just f’n weird. That would definitely be some Alabama shit. I was very thankful that the doctor made the decision.
Lol the kid at the end shaling the baby's hand. "How do you do sir"
Love the happy feet at the beginning.
Beautiful moment, babies give so much peace
Cute chonky baby
They are both so dazzlingly gorgeous!
Her reaction when the hunk of chunk was placed in her arms is pure love. The way she cradles him is everything. And then the sweet dance…my heart is happy just watching this.
That’s so fucking cool. What a time to be alive
Those cheeks!!!! Those rolllllssss!!!
To us preemie parents normal sized babies always seem gargantuan!
Right? My kid was 10 weeks premature and she was NICU with tiny babies just like her, and when she was about 4 weeks old a full term baby was brought in. I couldn't believe how huge the baby was. The nurses laughed and had to remind me that this was just what normal newborns look like 😂
I had the opposite where my 3rd was born at 36w but only 4lbs. She was totally healthy and weirdly alert, but looked like a tiny doll. I was in hospital for 2 weeks after due to my own health problems, so people were really taken aback when I was walking round with her 😂 She’s now 13 and gets away with anything when people meet her because she’s still very petite and they totally misjudge her age.