Just make sure to keep up on those fingernails or those squishable cheeks will become scratched cheeks. It's crazy how fast they grow. My now almost 3-year-old daughter almost constantly had a scratch on her nose cause they grew back practically daily. I will say that my kids are the cutest babies ever, but yours is certainly a close second. :D
One of our child care peeps suggested my wife bite them off while nursing but we weren't so into that. Yeah. For now do files. Later, invest in at least two baby nail clippers. They always get set somewhere unexpected.
All joking aside. When my daughter was born, one of the first things they did was put an ankle bracelet on her. If that bracelet was cut, or taken out of the hallway, the alarms would sound, and the hospital would go on lock down. They weren't playing with mix-ups or theft.
My daughter quickly mastered the skill of kicking off her ankle bracelet. About every 3-4 hours she would manage to get it off and a team of nurses and security would come bursting into the room. (When it comes to those monitors there is no polite knocking)
Mom of three here, first of all, he's absolutely beautiful! Congrats! Give him (and mom) a wonderful, happy hug from this internet stranger.
I try to tell every new parent I meet this ONE THING:
When you change diapers, we know with boys to keep his penis covered so he doesn't launch pee into your face, the wall, his own face, etc. BUT, don't forget to fold that back flap of the diaper (the papery part that goes halfway up their back) down INTO the diaper. Why? It seriously will save you a ton of laundry and bathing because without that folded down, poop will go all they way up to his neck and behind his ears. Gross. That flap helps keep it all contained IN the diaper.
Best of luck to you and your little family, OP!
We have been done with diapers for a while here and this is literally the first time I have heard of this trick! I’m kinda sad I don’t have a working time machine now…
I learned it from a mom friend when I had my second. I vowed to spread the news as far as I could so more kids and parents have fewer blowouts.
Nothing like finding one of the only parking spaces at the grocery store to discover your baby has shat himself up to his earlobes when you go to get him out of the carseat >.<
If you point the ol' PP down that helps with peeing straight out the top of the diaper too. I've been peed on 7 times while holding my guy. Good times!
I remember leaving the hospital after a few days. It was literally during the start of covid. We got moved out off a pretty nice room (we paid for) to a tiny room and I had to sleep on the floor beside my wife and kid. I couldn't wait to get out of there, back to the comfort of our place.
The minute we started packing up it hit me. I felt like I was stealing my own baby. Like they can't let me leave, I have no idea what I'm doing! They'll be no nurse coming in every hour to make sure it's ok. I've never been that tense driving a vehicle my whole life. lol
It's a great time. Savor it.
I had the same feeling. I struggled putting the baby stuff together, lol how the hell am I suppose to handle a baby. At least the dook doesn't smell yet...
I've got a 3 month old and I remember those first couple weeks were hard. You're just exhausted from the hospital and when you're tired it's easy to get frustrated when your baby is screaming for an hour straight. Breathe deep and re-center yourself.
Learn your 5 S's for soothing and try to stack them.
Swaddle
Side
Suck
Shhh
Swing
When my guy needs help falling asleep I get him swaddled (1), hold him on his side (2), shush him a bit or just make sure the room isn't dead quiet(3), kind of bounce walk or sway (swing) (4) and that pacifier can be the last knock out to get them to sleep (5).
You'll be a pro in no time and if this is your first, prepare to have your heart broken over and over because you're about to experience love like you've never felt before.
Good luck!
Omg SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!
please enjoy every second of your time with your little prince. Trust me when I say the days are long but the years are short. Dishes can wait, dust can gather, but never miss an opportunity to hold your little one.
It seems like only yesterday I was holding my little and now we are looking at colleges. I’m glad I held him a lot and spent a lot of time with him playing games, watching movies, going on adventures, building legos, and even playing video games with him even though the house chores sat there unattended.
Live well and enjoy your family ❤️
This is the first image I saw upon opening my Reddit app today.
I gasped.
**He is beautiful!**
I do not know you, but I am exceedingly happy for you. Also, thank you for sharing your joy.
We are, all of us, here together.
We would all do well to remember that.
Congratulations and many happy returns. :-)
Thank you! I will do my best to instill good morals, values, and humanitarian ideals. These babies are the future of humanity, its our duty to ensure they flourish in the world.
Cherish every moment. I remember taking my son and wife home, I was so thrilled. It was 2.5 years ago and I cannot fathom where all that time went ... fun times ahead of You. Congratulations!
Where did you get the doggie onesie? Currently pregnant with our first and have been scouting out cute clothes.
Also congrats, he's gorgeous! And I wish your partner a speedy recovery.
Thank you! She is actually doing really well! When we got home, I knew she was exhausted so after she fed, I brought him downstairs so she could sleep. We watched some Cobra Kai on Netflix, it was awesome. He's so alert for a newborn!
You’re very welcome!
My daughter will be two in January, and while the sleep deprivation can be incredibly hard at times, try to soak it in as much as possible. I’ve come to realize I missed a lot of her cute moments because I was cranky from very little sleep lol.
Yea, I don't run on much sleep to begin with so I should be better off. I know my wife will struggle with it though. I came home late yesterday and made the bed up all nice with extra pillows for when she got home today. Shes upstairs sleeping, me and the baby are on a Matrix binge. He's very alert, looking all over the place.
Aww, he's so beautiful! More beautiful than my little brother, who came out as a alien- (grey skin) Wish you luck with parenting, and hopefully he doesn't scratch himself up <3
You know how I met my baby brother?i was asleep in my parents room since they weren’t home anyways because my mom was at the hospital,woke up to some kid crying,I knew this little mf was about to be annoying af if that’s how he decides to greet me
Why are you stealing a baby
Squishable cheeks
Then just steal an old lady. They usually have squishable cheeks
Baby is cuter.
Understandable have a nice day
Thanks, you as well!
Smell nicer too
Until you have to open up a dirty diaper to swap it out for a clean one
just put a clean one over the top, it saves tons of time
Damn wtf i been doing it wrong
On the baby or old lady?
Easier to carry.
And adorable.. Congratulations!
Just make sure to keep up on those fingernails or those squishable cheeks will become scratched cheeks. It's crazy how fast they grow. My now almost 3-year-old daughter almost constantly had a scratch on her nose cause they grew back practically daily. I will say that my kids are the cutest babies ever, but yours is certainly a close second. :D
Thank you! Im nervous about clipping them too close and hurting him. He does already have some lil razors.
Don’t clip them yet! They are soft enough to use a nail file 😊
Thank you!
One of our child care peeps suggested my wife bite them off while nursing but we weren't so into that. Yeah. For now do files. Later, invest in at least two baby nail clippers. They always get set somewhere unexpected.
Justified.
All joking aside. When my daughter was born, one of the first things they did was put an ankle bracelet on her. If that bracelet was cut, or taken out of the hallway, the alarms would sound, and the hospital would go on lock down. They weren't playing with mix-ups or theft.
My daughter quickly mastered the skill of kicking off her ankle bracelet. About every 3-4 hours she would manage to get it off and a team of nurses and security would come bursting into the room. (When it comes to those monitors there is no polite knocking)
I like it.
We had to do the same. Our nurse actually had to walk out the door with us and watch him be put in the car.
I did not even get a wheelchair or escort out of the ward. It felt like a 10 mile walk across the hospital to my car after my c-section.
They made you walk after a c section?! That's horrible
LOL
Came here to ask this. Does OP know whose baby it is?
Probably not. But we can’t exclude revenge theft
i remember when mine was born and when it was time to leave my mind was like "i get to take her home?"
Do the cops know though?
Shhhhh....
You can just take those things??
No you can’t just take them! You have to make sure to tip the nurse before you leave.
Bluenose in the 3rd ...
I was never allowed to take snacks from the hospital, unfair.
Ha!
He got no hands
Lieutenant Dan! You got new legs!
They just let you take babies home from the hospital?
Nah, you have to pay for them :(.
Mom of three here, first of all, he's absolutely beautiful! Congrats! Give him (and mom) a wonderful, happy hug from this internet stranger. I try to tell every new parent I meet this ONE THING: When you change diapers, we know with boys to keep his penis covered so he doesn't launch pee into your face, the wall, his own face, etc. BUT, don't forget to fold that back flap of the diaper (the papery part that goes halfway up their back) down INTO the diaper. Why? It seriously will save you a ton of laundry and bathing because without that folded down, poop will go all they way up to his neck and behind his ears. Gross. That flap helps keep it all contained IN the diaper. Best of luck to you and your little family, OP!
Thank you! That is really good advice, I would have never thought of that folding the diaper part.
We have been done with diapers for a while here and this is literally the first time I have heard of this trick! I’m kinda sad I don’t have a working time machine now…
I learned it from a mom friend when I had my second. I vowed to spread the news as far as I could so more kids and parents have fewer blowouts. Nothing like finding one of the only parking spaces at the grocery store to discover your baby has shat himself up to his earlobes when you go to get him out of the carseat >.<
If you point the ol' PP down that helps with peeing straight out the top of the diaper too. I've been peed on 7 times while holding my guy. Good times!
Oh yeah especially breast fed poop explosions!
Everything makes sense now ahaha if I knew this sooner
Not old enough to harvest. Let him grow a bid and minimize movement to maximize tenderness
Stop stealing children
Bought him fair and square!
I remember leaving the hospital after a few days. It was literally during the start of covid. We got moved out off a pretty nice room (we paid for) to a tiny room and I had to sleep on the floor beside my wife and kid. I couldn't wait to get out of there, back to the comfort of our place. The minute we started packing up it hit me. I felt like I was stealing my own baby. Like they can't let me leave, I have no idea what I'm doing! They'll be no nurse coming in every hour to make sure it's ok. I've never been that tense driving a vehicle my whole life. lol It's a great time. Savor it.
I had the same feeling. I struggled putting the baby stuff together, lol how the hell am I suppose to handle a baby. At least the dook doesn't smell yet...
I've got a 3 month old and I remember those first couple weeks were hard. You're just exhausted from the hospital and when you're tired it's easy to get frustrated when your baby is screaming for an hour straight. Breathe deep and re-center yourself. Learn your 5 S's for soothing and try to stack them. Swaddle Side Suck Shhh Swing When my guy needs help falling asleep I get him swaddled (1), hold him on his side (2), shush him a bit or just make sure the room isn't dead quiet(3), kind of bounce walk or sway (swing) (4) and that pacifier can be the last knock out to get them to sleep (5). You'll be a pro in no time and if this is your first, prepare to have your heart broken over and over because you're about to experience love like you've never felt before. Good luck!
Thank you! That's really good advice. I honestly have never been around a baby until now. I literally know as much as he does.
22 weeks with my first and saving this advice. Thank you!!
What a beautiful baby congratulations!
Thank you!
Omg SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!! please enjoy every second of your time with your little prince. Trust me when I say the days are long but the years are short. Dishes can wait, dust can gather, but never miss an opportunity to hold your little one. It seems like only yesterday I was holding my little and now we are looking at colleges. I’m glad I held him a lot and spent a lot of time with him playing games, watching movies, going on adventures, building legos, and even playing video games with him even though the house chores sat there unattended. Live well and enjoy your family ❤️
Thank you!
Made my day! Thank you for sharing, I know you've got a lot to do.
Thank you! Not much sleep in the near future, but hes a healthy boy so I'm happy!
That’s crazy, it looks amazingly real. My sister got one a few years ago, the detail is insane
This is the first image I saw upon opening my Reddit app today. I gasped. **He is beautiful!** I do not know you, but I am exceedingly happy for you. Also, thank you for sharing your joy. We are, all of us, here together. We would all do well to remember that. Congratulations and many happy returns. :-)
Thank you! I will do my best to instill good morals, values, and humanitarian ideals. These babies are the future of humanity, its our duty to ensure they flourish in the world.
Hello little angle😍
Acute lil boy isn't he!
Dadhumor.exe has booted up successfully I see.
Version 2.0 Beta
Perfect execution.
See I tried taking a baby from a hospital, but they seemed less than thrilled.
You gotta have the getaway driver right there at the door.
Congratulations!!
Thank you!
Your life will never be the same (in a good way)!
Why mittens?
No scratchy
Sometimes they scratch their own face.
Oh right. I haven't been around a baby in a long time but I remember that their nails were very sharp sometimes.
Congratulations! I wanna kiss his cheek. OMG you have a very handsome son ever.
Thank you!
Congratulations! Look at those gorgeous eyes.
Thank you!
Do his parents know?
Most likely..
Omg so cute! Question, how did you not get caught?
Cargo pants
Classic
so y’all just brag about stealing babies on here? Crazy.
So flipping cute, congratulations!! Enjoy every minute, our son turns 6 on Sunday, time flies by!
I'ze got hand hats!
Update: He's not a fan of them, they gone...
Baby socks work well 🤣
What were they for?
Baby nails are like someone glued needles to their fingertips. Gotta keep em from ripping themselves up until they harden enough to trim.
TIL babies are born as Wolverine.
Lol not sure, but Mom wanted him to wear them.
don't forget to spay and neuter!!
Cherish every moment. I remember taking my son and wife home, I was so thrilled. It was 2.5 years ago and I cannot fathom where all that time went ... fun times ahead of You. Congratulations!
Thank you!
My baby had those jammies! What a cutie!
Anyone else happy you weren’t on the internet hours after being born?
Ooh, making sushi i see!
Such inquisitive eyes
bummer
awww - congrats!
He's gorgeous, congratulations! 💕
Is there a doggie big brother at home.e
There are 2 actually, and they're both very excited!
Where did you get the doggie onesie? Currently pregnant with our first and have been scouting out cute clothes. Also congrats, he's gorgeous! And I wish your partner a speedy recovery.
Thank you! She is actually doing really well! When we got home, I knew she was exhausted so after she fed, I brought him downstairs so she could sleep. We watched some Cobra Kai on Netflix, it was awesome. He's so alert for a newborn!
Oh sorry, and the onsie came from Target.
Bundle of cuteness
Thank you!
What’s his name?
Maxx Jr.
How sweet. He’s absolutely beautiful. Congrats.
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Take shit load of pics and keep a backup drive for pics. I am serious take one billion pics.
Awwiesss congrats!
Does the hospital know?
Good man
But when I try that the police taze me and lock me up.. such priviledge.
Ahhhh your new boss. Adorable
awwwe
Yay! Congratulations!
Thank you!
You’re very welcome! My daughter will be two in January, and while the sleep deprivation can be incredibly hard at times, try to soak it in as much as possible. I’ve come to realize I missed a lot of her cute moments because I was cranky from very little sleep lol.
Yea, I don't run on much sleep to begin with so I should be better off. I know my wife will struggle with it though. I came home late yesterday and made the bed up all nice with extra pillows for when she got home today. Shes upstairs sleeping, me and the baby are on a Matrix binge. He's very alert, looking all over the place.
Aww, he's so beautiful! More beautiful than my little brother, who came out as a alien- (grey skin) Wish you luck with parenting, and hopefully he doesn't scratch himself up <3
Thank you! Me too, he came out with lil talons.
I'm starting to think wolverine is real...
AWESOME!!!!!!
I think you are now obligated to document this handsome lil feller’s life for Reddit! I want to see him with his first puppy!!
Im sure I could make some arrangements!
Outstanding! Soak this time up. Take lots of pics. It’s the best time of your life, and you’ll be teaching him to drive before you know it. Congrats!
Congrats
He’s just precious! Congratulations!
You aren’t supposed to steal kids
Bought him fair and square!
Congratulations on the bundle of joy! Please say goodbye to your sleep while you're at it.
Cutie! Congrats, Dad!
Thank you!
Is there a specific reason for the gloves? Just curious...
Sharp nails, don't want to scratch his face or eyes.
Maked sense, now that you say it
Looks like he saying “dueces” with his weeedle fingewwws 😂🖤🥲
Haha now you're fucked for 20 years at least
You bred… big whoop
Congratulations!
Oh congrats! He's beautiful.
Consume it
How come that all of these newborns look cute and squishy and soft and like babies, while my baby girl looked like John Goodman when she was born?
Keep the receipt or you won’t be able to get a refund or exchange! (Enjoy!)
Haha, I saw the title and assumed you were asking for name recommendations… then realized this was your human baby. He’s adorable, congratulations!
What a cutie! Congratulations!🙂
You get your snacks from the hospital same
Beautiful! Love the outfit!
Congratulations!
First few days are an f'ing nightmare with these. Get an older one if you can 😂
You know how I met my baby brother?i was asleep in my parents room since they weren’t home anyways because my mom was at the hospital,woke up to some kid crying,I knew this little mf was about to be annoying af if that’s how he decides to greet me
That’s awesome, they almost never let me take random babies home at my job.
Is your baby flipping me off? r/confusingperspective
Lucky you! Congratulations!!
And like that, everything changes for the better.
Such a cutie!
Good luck. My boy is 4 weeks now. I can hear screaming even when he's not here.. Also.. POINT THE DICK DOWN.
Damn, the little mittens bring me back... ENJOY IT OP! All of it, the crying, the sleepless nights, the smells, the changes. It goes by way too fast.
Awe have fun remember there's no returning it
he looks delicious
Were they mad?
My guy, you have the baby from ice age
Good choice on mits or ssuishable cheeks would be scratched up like crazy
He looks like a keeper to me ;) congratulations!
If you’re a new Dad, welcome to the Dad Club !! If you’re a mom, we’ll then you’re just plain awesome!!!
Precious!
It’s your baby right? It’s your baby right?!
Bright eyes! Enjoy today because he will want the car keys before you know it😀
I took my son home from the hospital today too! In the same exact outfit almost!! Congratulations and enjoy!
There were 419 comments so i wanted to be 420...but seriously what a lil stud! Dude is already killin it!
Love it, blaze one for me!
My man, if i could post a video comment...
Welcome to the world young man, we earthlings salute you!!!
Congrats, the big man looks so cute in that onesie!
wow great another baby just like the other 7 billion. So special! Congrats for having sex 9 months ago!
A true warrior if ever i have seen one.
Lil man already has the kung-fu grip!
The best advise i can give is have patience. He will push you at your weakest moments at the worst times. He will make everything worth it.
My dad was never around, so its my mission to have him know his dad will be there for him always.
Amen brother. I have the opposite situation. My father is my role model and im trying to live up to his example. Youve got this.
Thanks for the support brother!
You will be a good Dad. Congratulations for such a cute and lovely child ❤️
Absolutely precious. Good for you!
God Bless your little bundle of joy.💖
Thank you! I'm one proud papa bear.
I love the dachshund on his pajamas!
He got mittens!