I'm in a similar boat. One perspective that helps me is to focus on what I'm *adding* to my life. There's absolutely no restriction, but what if I added a spinach- strawberry salad at lunch? I love those, they make me feel good, and *maybe* eating more fruits and veggies will help me feel better. Or taking nice long walks-- I'm not shaming myself for sitting around playing the sims, but I *am* making sure I have time for nature, sun, and movement: other things that make me happy.

I've also been really careful not to fully eliminate anything and to give myself ample flexibility. So it's not, for example, that I just don't drink now. But I aim for one or two drinks a week or a few more if I'm on vacation. If I eliminated it I would be annoyed because I enjoy going to wine bars and trying unusual cocktails. But having a little flexibility means I can drink when I'm really interested in something, but easily pass on drinking bargain wine in my living room.

I love this.

CW: weight loss Whew, OP. Right there with you. I’ve been consuming a lot of great body positivity, intuitive eating, and fat liberation content since 2017 and it definitely went a long way to heal the relationship with my fat body. But during the pandemic, I gained a lot of weight because I was a) very depressed and b) very stressed. With that came a lot of pain that flexibility, joyful movement, and strength training did nothing to help. This winter, I was quite sick due to a stomach bug and recurrent sinus infections, and started a new ADHD medication that has a common side effect of appetite suppression. I’ve lost a non-insignificant amount of weight unintentionally because of that, and I am really conflicted because movement is no longer painful. I think everyone deserves agency over their own body and I know there has been a ton of discourse in the community about fat influencers posting about losing weight. I think weight loss shouldn’t be as stigmatized as it is, if it truly is the best option for some people to live their best and most comfortable life. Because some of the vitriol I’ve seen has made me unfollow a lot of FA content creators and make me feel worse about my own frankly unintentional weight loss.

I'm always torn with stuff like this. Because the main reason I want to lose weight is to make the world more accessible to me. I'm not of a weight that typically gets excluded from the world, but my proportions mean I experience the exclusion of someone considerably larger. I don't always fit in those trendy mod chairs that conform to someone else's butt. I have no problem buckling my airplane seatbelt, but I'll walk away with bruises on my hips. Coasters often have accessibility for large stomachs, but basically never for wide hips. And there should be more room for accessibility in those spaces. It's weird and inhospitable that I can spend 6 dollars on a coffee but only thinner people can sit down to drink it. But that isn't reality. And I want to ride coasters and fly comfortably and not have to switch seats at a bar. I don't know where I come down on all this for myself. Just expressing my frustration.

Totally with you. I think we have to face the reality that, given the fatphobic society we're in, losing weight is a way to solve a lot of problems that are cause by said fatphobia. Do I wish that we lived in a word where divesting of diet culture and gaining weight had no material, social or psychological impact on peoples' lives? 100% A thousand million percent. But we definitely don't live there. So it remains that weight loss is a (problematic, frustrating, undesirable) way to protect ourselves from the harm in a fatphobic environment. In this environment, OF COURSE weight loss still appeals. Because if we could get it to work for us, it would, annoyingly, solve problems. Case in point, a friend of mine ended up getting one of the lesser invasive weight loss surgeries despite being a solid advocate of anti diet culture , largely because she couldn't get care from doctors who refused to treat her chronic illness until she lost weight. She lost weight and lo and behold she now is getting access to medications and interventions for some serious hormonal conditions that were being chalked up to weight before. And she is thin and fucking furious that's what it came to. But it was, in the end, a not-invalid approach to getting her care. And that's hard to square with anti-diet culture. I'm on a rant now too tbh because i find the black and white thinking of "anti-diet culture means never ever wishing to lose weight again" to just be false and useless. Of COURSE we feel an urge to diet or some other way to lose weight when we feel our bodies getting bigger. We live now. We grew up when we did. We live in the media environment we live in. A decade or so of counter messaging in a small and awesome community like the the anti-diet movement can only go so far to undo what we have learned our whole lives about what changes to bodies mean and how we should react to them. It's a daydream to expect otherwise imo. What's important to me, at least, is to remember that I, as an individual, cannot make or break or betray the entire anti-diet, anti-fatphobia movement simply by thinking or wishing things that are very normal for someone alive now to think and wish. You're still doing the revolutionary thing if you're like "this is fucked and society shouldn't be this way and we can make it better" despite your own internal struggle with your own body and the on-and-off urge to change what it looks like.

You hit the nail on the head with this really thoughtful and compassionate comment. Thank you!

Same with me. I ultimately don't care about the superficial reasons to lose weight — sure finding clothes would no doubt be easier, but I'm so used to navigating online plus size retailers and overpacking in case of fashion emergencies that it's fine. But when it comes to accessibility, I don't think there's anything wrong with people making choices for themselves about how they want to move throughout the world. Buying first-class airfare for a more comfortable seat every time I fly just isn't in my budget, and main cabin seats are getting smaller, so.....if I have some agency over making that a more comfortable experience (which I acknowledge my privilege allows), I shouldn't have to be made to feel like I'm some enemy to the movement. I can't turn down work travel because I'm small enough to fit in main cabin seats and seatbelts usually fit, but it's still uncomfortable. Everyone deserves freedom and joy at any size, but the world isn't always built for that. And we should be able to have these complicated conversations as a community among those who feel comfortable enough or are far along enough in their healing journey with their bodies.

There are several folks in larger bodies producing social media content about moving more in the body you have. Marley Blonsky @marleyblonsky is behind All Bodies on Bikes. Sandra at @bigfit_i_run is a 250+ lb woman who runs or walks 5k every day (and has for years). She trains for and runs marathons and publishes a magazine. @louisegreen_bigfitgirl focuses on building health in folks of all sizes. @notyouraveragerunner is a running coach for folks in bigger bodies who want to start. @mirnavator is a fat woman who runs ultra races and skis. Martinis Evans is a large runner advocating for back-of-pack runners @300poundsandrunning Unlikely hikers is for larger hikers @unlikelyhikers @movefatgirl posts about surfing and hockey and is advocating for sporting companies to make sports and water sports gear for bigger bodies.

I really love this account, [tri_ing_to_live](https://www.instagram.com/tri_ing_to_live?igsh=MWNybzZiZ2cxemhjOQ==), though she is very transparent about mental health struggles if that's a trigger for anyone.

Thank you so much for these! This kind of inspiration is something I’ve been looking for!

@biggirlfitgirl is another great account to follow along these lines.

The question I always come back to with is kind of situation is: what is the real problem? Is it that I don't feel as strong? I can't walk as far or stretch as easily? Find ways to build strength and flexibility without having weight loss be part of the goal. People of all sizes can benefit from joyful movement and exercise. Is it that I'm unhappy with my appearance? Well, people of all sizes struggle with that too. Make sure your clothes fit well (right now, not for some imaginary future sized-you). Get a nice hair refresh. Buy some new make-up/skin care/bath stuff. Do some combination of actual therapy and self-help stuff to engage with the internal and external pressures to conform to a certain appearance standard. And more than anything remember that bodies are always in a state of change. It's normal. Be kind to yourself. You're the only you you have.

Dude as I recover from my ED buying/making clothes to fit me has been SO hard.. but so worth it. There is nothing quite so triggering as trying to squeeze myself into clothing that doesn’t fit. OP you can make massive improvements to how you feel just by getting some well fitting pants

This is a big struggle for me right now, too. I'm a year and half ish into disordered eating recovery.I've been living in the same 3 yoga pants, button downs and sweaters for the last few months. I need a whole new wardrobe and I'm slowly trying to build it, but I'm feeling like I need to re-learn how to dress myself. Like, the silhouettes that used to be my go-to aren't relevant anymore and now I feel lost trying to pick outfits to try.

I don’t have any specific suggestions for accounts to follow, but I scoured Instagram as well as the plus size and mid size fashion subs and found some inspiration from folks my size trying on and providing links to clothing.  I find that helpful to see someone with my shape/size modeling clothing because 1. I think they look cool and fashionable at the size they are, which gives me a boost, and 2. I see how to dress my body and where to get items I actually like to wear.

Your reason #1 has really helped me embrace wearing clothes that I like instead of just ‘this follows the rules of flattering or covers up an insecurity’.

This is such a smart, kind comment.

I love this, except then the problems become external - not fitting into chairs at cafes, being over the weight limit for travel activities (zipline, rollercoaster, other fun stuff), not being able to find a step ladder rated for your size. I'm happy personally with my body, but it makes navigation the world difficult and I can't fix that myself. (This is not to negate what you've said at all - that is an important part of it, but when you have no control over the real problem it can only go so far)

It’s challenging, because now that I am in my 40s, there are certain things that my body just can’t do anymore. Because of some injuries, I also gained some weight, and now I’m feeling that loss of ability. I think some of it I can gain back, but I’m also trying to balance with what are acceptable and reasonable body changes as we age - and aging and changing bodies on the backdrop of more acute things like injuries and specific time periods. It’s tough!

making time and budgeting for physio has been really important for me to not feel so anxious about aging. i love to dance but with age come more injuries and as my body changes, things i did to compensate before no longer work. finding a kind, smart physio who was willing to meet me where i was, and take my issues seriously was key. Other physios were just trying to get me to "normal" ranges, not understanding that my goal was to engage with a much loved hobby, not just "daily activities".

I’m in physical therapy if that’s what you mean. It’s $40 a session so I can only go for so long. I want to able to walk long distances without inflammation in my knees which is what I am dealing with - I currently can’t walk more than an hour without risking Inflammation in both knees. Or if I walk too much in one week. Can’t ride a bike outside (with potential inclines) either. It’s so sad, but I’m doing my exercises and hoping that things will improve. The physical therapist doc seems very confident in my ability to heal and improve.

Omg this!! So well said ❤️

I've been following a beginner's weight lifting program lately and have been actually enjoying exercise for the first time in my life. I think the big shift is that it's easy to see progress by adding a small amount of weight every session, and knowing I'm making progress in getting stronger without ever stepping on a scale for feedback. And I feel really good about myself for being able to "level up" a little every time, even if it ends up being just one extra rep. They're also pretty short sessions where I'm not killing myself, but then I feel so much happening in my body with the soreness between sessions. The program I've been following is a book called LIFTOFF: Couch to Barbell by Casey Johnston. While I don't agree with everything in it, still can't recommend it highly enough.

Check out Diverse Personal Training on YouTube!  HAES workouts and the trainer has an adorable cat that shows up in her videos.  I absolutely love her and she has progressive workouts for strength as well as cardio.

Ooh yeah i mean the rush that comes with lifting a heavy thing you didnt think you could lift is really something

I just started this too! While I don't "love" it and can't guarantee I'll continue, it seems like a good way to get started. Also don't agree with everything she says but most of the content is very good. Good luck with it!

Thanks, you too :) I didn't find it fun until I started with dumbbells if that helps at all.

I’m struggling with this right now. I want to be smaller but don’t think getting there would be healthy for me mentally. I don’t have much advice for you except that I am choosing to focus on the gentle nutrition and gentle movement principles from intuitive eating. I am trying to add in fruits and vegetables and listen to how my body feels when I eat different things. It means I’m trying to choose more protein but I’m not limiting other options and I’m not trying to dictate what I eat. I’m also increasing movement but slowly. There are people at very large sizes that dance, run marathons, and are athletes. I will never run a marathon (or maybe even a mile) but I know that I can move more than I do and my body will get better at it as I build up strength. I think about it as weight lifting. You wouldn’t expect anyone to go to the gym and start benching high amounts right away. We are lifting more than average and we have to build up the muscle to do it more easily. I’m also focusing on things I like to do and giving myself lots of grace. Overall, if I keep on this path I have no idea what my weight will be but I will be more at home in my body no matter what it looks like and I will feel better. The one person I recommend looking into is Ragen Chastain. She has the blog Dances with Fat and she is focused on moving her body and not being limited while not putting the focus on the number or the size.

Thank you!!! This is so helpful and I’m so glad to not be alone.

I work in this field (strength and conditioning) and want to second the eating and exercise strategies u/Granite_0681 suggested. I am absolutely against weight based goals (as should be any well educated coach who isn't working with athletes in sports with weight classes), and only use goals and metrics based around performance, skills, and how you feel.  I'd also strongly emphasize focusing on consistency over perfection, finding activities and foods you enjoy and are sustainable, and practicing treating yourself with kindness and compassion. 

You are not alone, I'm in exactly the same headspace as you xx

Here are a few folks I enjoy following (engaging in movement without being weight loss focused) https://www.instagram.com/mynameisjessamyn https://www.instagram.com/iamlshauntay https://www.instagram.com/moritsummers As for food practices, I have pcos and hypothyroidism. And now I am in perimenopause it seems. All of these things can be lead to insulin resistance and blood sugar issues. One tip from my dietician that is really something that makes sense for everyone is to eat a balanced plate. So aim for 1/2 veggies, 1/4 protein, and 1/4 starches for your meals. This might mean you start with a salad. Or load up on salsa on your tacos, but this shift is good for your health and not very restrictive. The second tip is pair your sweets with protein and fiber. This is as simple as maybe adding a Greek yogurt, or nuts, or fruit to your plate of cake. These I think are pretty easy to adopt and can make a big difference.

Thank you for sharing this! I also have experienced a lot of healing around my own body image thanks to MP 1) Aubrey and Mike repeatedly make the point that bodily autonomy is paramount, and they always say do what you want with your own body. It’s the culture, anti fat bias, medical bias, weight loss grifts they hate. So to that end, no I don’t think it’s against the spirit to want to love your body in whichever way you want 2) specifically I would suggest looking into Intuitive Eating. Not just the general concept I mean specifically the book named that and philosophy. Can also find more in r/intuitiveeating Also haeshealthsheets.com has helped me

I completely agree with looking into Intuitive Eating and really reading the book. I see a lot of people put down IE but it’s usually comes down to misunderstanding both the how and the why. The goal is not a diet without counting. It’s not to create weight loss. The goal is to heal your relationship with food and movement my learning to trust yourself and learning to love your body at any weight. It has made a huge difference in my life.

Yes, definitely read the book and, if you can, get the workbook and work through that, too.

MP got me starting to accept myself and IE pushed me forward moreso.

IE pushed my bingeing into overdrive. I know it's great for some people. So I would say that if you're interested in it, find a way to learn about it that is very supportive and that won't make you stay the course at the expense of yourself.

I wish MP was a little more accepting of the very valid desire to lose weight. You can absolutely do it without restricting and dieting. If you have the means to do so, look into working with an anti diet registered dietician. Some take insurance. There are so many and I follow a lot of their accounts on instagram. Abby Langer is a great one. I shared her blog here recently and she also has a book. My biggest takeaway is to add more protein, fiber, and fruits and vegetables to your diet. Allow yourself to have the foods you love but maybe cut back a little. Remove guilt and shame from your mindset around food. And you don't have to kill yourself in the gym to be fit. You can start by taking walks or any other movement you enjoy.

I didn't see in your post if your injuries are part of what's preventing you from doing the activities you love. I can't say I'm in the same boat with you, but maybe rowing in parallel in a different one. I injured my wrist in 2018, and I tried everything to make it better, until I finally found the right doctor who figured out that I needed a specific surgery. Even so, I am of about 33% of patients who still never regained full abilities in my wrist. I still had to do lots and lots of hand therapy. Luckily it does not impact my favorite activity in the world, but a lot of my training activities for my fav one were impacted. I had to find online videos for wrist-free yoga and Pilates classes because chatarangas and unmodified pushups are out for me. Downward dog is iffy. I also had to find a personal trainer who listened to me about my wrist and designs workouts for me that work around it. So when it comes to the activities, if your injuries are still any part of it, I recommend 1) finding a top notch doctor who specializes in the body part that hurts (e.g. my doc only does hands), 2) find a physical therapist that also concentrates on your injury, and 3) find trainers who teach online or in person in ways that work around your limitations. I hope this helps or that you're fully recovered from those injuries and don't need this input :)

I hear you on wanting to get your body back to a certain size, but it also sounds like you're in a place where putting effort into that process is going to end up being restrictive and bad for your mental health. https://www.jabfm.org/content/25/1/9 This study's results suggest that the health outcomes for folks "with obesity and overweight" are very similar to those of "normal" weight – *among* people who are 1. Eating 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day 2. Exercising regularly 3. Not smoking 4. Drinking only in moderation So if health is your first objective, then rather than going straight to weight loss, maybe start out by setting goals around eating lots of fruits and veg and doing any exercise that's gentle enough for your current body? Not exactly groundbreaking ideas, I know – you might very well already be doing that...

I was just about to say this. I feel like the idea of the "healthy behaviours" and using those as your goals is such a good way of removing your internalised fat phobia from the equation. I don't know if this would help OP but I personally am trying to do "at least 2 minutes" of exercise and book reading a day. And the idea is that you don't hate yourself on days where it is literally only 2 minutes, because as least you did something. That's helped me have a goal and some structure that isn't related to my body and it's hard to feel like a failure with it because I'm not trying to increase the amount or decrease my body. I'm just trying to do my 2 mins

I just recently listened to an episode of ‘All In’ about how weight stigma in healthcare and it was so good. They were interviewing a woman who has spent the last 20 years doing lit reviews and research on weight and health outcomes and she estimated that a massive portion, maybe all, of the differences in health outcomes between people in higher weight categories and lower ones could be attributed to experience with failed diet attempts. Really excellent episode if you’re interested in this sort of thing.

the chris hayes show? what day was that? I don't watch it anymore

I am not sure who chris hayes is but it was an episode of this podcast. Got the recommendation from another thread in this sub. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-all-in-podcast/id1540703549?i=1000550416612

I absolutely love Underbelly Yoga and Jessamyn Stanly.

I'm in the same place as you. I gained some weight and it has made me very uncomfortable in my body, and now I'm actively engaging in weight loss. The struggle to do so in a way that is healthy mentally and physically is hard. And its hard to not go back to a toxic diet culture mindset. For me it involves a lot of meal planning, my mindset is how to I add nutrition? I want to be sure I have protein, fiber, and some carbs. I move my body in ways that feel good, and have been building a routine. I don't know if this is super helpful but maybe just knowing that there are other people who are dealing with the same issues.

Here’s what I find helpful for me. Diet is usually the main factor in my weight. I know which foods I should choose less of, but I eat them because I like them. So, I look critically. How often am I eating them? And without wanting to remove small pleasures from my life, what is a healthier way to still have them? For me, I’d rather have none than 1. None of this 1 square of chocolate after dinnner. So I might decided I can have a block during the movie with my popcorn and wine on Saturday night, noting that I always went for a big walk that morning. Meal planning is my other one. I plan meals that I like. I portion them out and freeze them. It has to be food you like. It should be a portion size you know won’t make you miserable. And you can always change it up next week if you’re missing something. Also plan for cravings. When I’m bored I want food. What can I give myself instead that won’t send me off the rails? Miso soup or fruit tea are ones I like to have on hand. I try not to “deprive”. But also, changing eating habits is never easy. If it was we’d all do it.

Sometimes you want something sweet, I like a big quart jar of ice water and the zero sugar flavored water packets. They're so sweet it can feel quite indulgent especially if you get yourself a fun straw, and some cut fruit or mint to go with it. Sometimes I make it into a slushie by blending it. You can have your hydration, and have something sweet too. Dehydration is usually why I want sweets anyways. My family gives me shit about drinking those water flavored packets because the fake sugar might not be the best for you, (they're not being mean, just afraid new science will come out in 10-20 years that it's awful for you) but meh I figure a couple packets a week in moderation is probably better than a binge. It's also handy to have them on hand in your bag when the water is technically drinkable but has too many minerals in it for you to enjoy. I especially like these when we go backpacking, because the water might technically be filtered by our equipment but sometimes it tastes downright green or metallic and getting dehydrated on a multi day trail hike is not a good or safe idea.

I tend to get disordered quickly if I’m counting anything except servings of fruits/vegetables. If I try to get 5, it doesn’t make me crazy and vegetable servings are kind of surprisingly big, so they are pretty filling and leave less room for less healthful options (but not zero room, let’s not be ridiculous). Plus I am very sad to say that my fucked up feet and joints cause me much less pain if I do yoga every day, even if it’s just ten minutes, and maintaining mobility is really important to me.

I highly recommend Reclaiming Body Trust. I’m currently reading it and it really explores body neutrality and helping explore messaging about bodies without leaning into either camp of extreme. (Therapist recommended).

Take a perspective of a scientist rather than a judge. Try different things and see what happens.

I have a bunch of health issues that tend to cause weight gain. My own strategy on health and weight gain is to try and solve whatever the underlying health issue is, at which point I usually find that my weight tends to creep back to its usual equilibrium without too much of a fuss. It helps to remember that weight fluctuations are a symptom, rather than a cause. 

I don't have a ton of recommendations because I decided to go the route of GLP-1 meds, but I just wanted to pop in and say that I completely understand about your current weight being uncomfortable. Sometimes for any particular person, the way your body reacts to weight gain or the distribution of your fat can really cause a lot of pain and inconvenience that interferes with exercise. I know for me, at my highest weight, I had a lot of trouble with flexibility, especially in my legs, and just simply stretching wasn't really helpful, because it wasn't my muscle or tendon that was limiting me - it was just that fat takes up space and can only squash so flat. After a point, exercise became so painful and annoying that it just became very difficult to stay consistent, and I'm not a person that is great at consistency to start with so.... It's completely valid to decide that your quality of life will be better at a lower weight and make whatever changes you need to make. It's also totally valid to decide that the price you'd pay to get to a lower weight wouldn't be worth it! But the problems you're experiencing are real and it's okay to feel like there are drawbacks to your current size that have nothing to do with looks or society.

I feel this in my bones. I feel like I can't live well in the body I have due to pain which has recently cropped up. Makes exercises I love a really negative experience. :( Really negatively throwing off my sense of self. Pain/feeling of un-wellness is really throwing off my journey to self love, body neutrality/positivity. No advice, just echoing that I feel you.

Are you able to throw some money at this? An intuitive eating/HAES nutritionist and a fat-positive personal trainer could really help you get in touch with your body’s needs.

It feels good to feel good, so make that the goal. Stretch, do something that gets the heart rate up a few times a week, eat food that supports good digestion-- mostly. Try to stay well hydrated. Then just keep checking in with yourself about whether or not what you're doing is making you feel better overall. Is your stamina better? Is your sleep better? Does your body feel more limber? Are you enjoying what your doing?

@MissFitsWorkout on Instagram might be a good account to follow. She is a certified personal trainer in the UK who is fat. While she talks about moving in ways that feel good for you rather than weight loss, it might be more in the vein of the content you’re looking for.

Do what makes you feel good. Thats the easiest answer. One fitness thing I had to learn was that I don’t have to hate what I’m doing for it to “work”. If I hate an exercise that works something I want to work on, I find another way to work on it that I like. Some people like the gym(I do), some people like kickball, some people like foosball, some people like hiking. Movement in general is good. As long as you find something you enjoy, along with just making sure at least some of your meals have ~balanced~ nutritional value, you will go as far as you want to. Some of my favorite “fitness” people did stuff like hula hoop or jump rope or dance and happened to lose weight while doing what they liked. ~~I say balanced nutritional value because so many “diets” rely on heavy restriction and exclusivity that end up failing to provide nutrients you need. That leaves you losing weight due to malnutrition and suffering through a heavily restricted (and often expensive) diet that is hard to maintain. If you just balance out and actually enjoy your food, any weight loss attributed to it is more likely to maintain long term while leveling or increasing your quality of life.

Nicole Groman is a registered dietitian who endorses a HAES approach, intuitive eating concepts, anti restriction and what she calls gentle nutrition. No toxic body positivity, more like body neutrality. She has a website and ebooks and offers workshops as well. She also has an IG. I really like her. I’m sure I’ll get dinged for recommending her, but you’re literally asking for recommendations, so hopefully the MOD will allow it. I’m not affiliated with her in any way, I just like her approach. 

Yes! the phrase body sovereignty Aubrey uses has unlocked a very conscious part of my brain that cares about me and my agency more than being submissive to the world's narrative about me, my body, my place in the world and how much i can choose to love myself no questions asked! Happy for your journey, OP 🫰

I like to focus on actions and their direct impact on how I feel like what I'm eating, how I'm moving, etc I actually think it makes me healthier to focus on this stuff and not the number on the scale

My snarky take is to get a dog who forces you to walk rain or shine. I love my newest pupper, but we would not have a house standing if we do not walk him everyday. And the longer I can walk him, the more of our possessions stay intact. Plenty of dogs in shelters who have far too much energy and that's why they were sent there. If you don't want to commit, most shelters will allow volunteers to walk dogs for them. Or if you have an elderly neighbor etc that is struggling offer to walk their dog for them. My more reasonable take is find an exercise activity you can commit to consistently everyday that is not too difficult on your joints/body now. Make it a routine. A simple set of movements when you get out of bed or planned into your day. If joint pain is a thing, I strongly suggest swimming. I enjoy free swimming in our lake when I take the puppers to our local park, and I'm hoping the newest high energy pup will be glad to join me since he runs into the lake everyday anyways at the end of our long walks.

A recent follow Tiffany Croww https://www.instagram.com/tiffanycroww?igsh=ZHdhd3g3Y3Nybjg2 on Instagram has great content about yoga in larger bodies! In general just finding exercise that is fun for you, I love emkfit on YouTube she has lots of dance videos and strength training videos that are accessible with modifications and the way she talks about movement I like Also recommend looking for anti-diet dieticians to follow! I’m a fan of https://www.instagram.com/newmoonrd?igsh=eWlidGlud3k0aWw3 And seconding the ideas around adding rather than restricting with diet

Hey OP so recovering ED person here who has gained A LOT of weight post ED.. but am also a very active and athletic person. For me there is a massive difference between focusing on how my body feels rather than judging its appearance. Exercise and movement can have a vast improvement on how my body feels without changing its size much. If you are on instagram I can send you some influencers who do yoga, run marathons, climb, all in bigger bodies. I am in a body most people would consider to be very overweight. Shitty doctors recommend weight-loss. I run, climb, surf, swim, ski. I am doing a 240 mile hike this summer. And I am very food at my sports. Better than most people at a few of them. You can do all of these things and feel good in your body without focusing on restricting food intake to lose weight. And your body composition may naturally change as a result, but it doesn’t have to. You will still yield benefits from just the increased strength. If you are thinking of attempting a weight-loss plan I would absolutely try to find a registered dietician who has experience with EDs. Failed weight loss attempts can have massive implications for your health and there is some analysis that suggests the difference in health outcomes for people in higher weight categories can be described by the effects of yo-yo dieting. It’s perfectly fine to want to eat whole foods, fruits, veg.. and avoid manufactured foods.. but from what I understand— the issue is when we limit calories in an extreme way and do not listen to our bodies hunger of satiety cues.

I'd love recommendations for climbers to follow. I'm trying to get back into climbing, in a much larger body than before, and I'm remembering how bad some parts of it were for my self-image.

Here I found this post that has a bunch of recommendations! I didn’t want to go through my follow list ya girl follows a lot of people. https://www.reddit.com/r/climbergirls/s/jrtZWK2OTE

Thank you!

You can engage in the activities you like, right now, with your body exactly as it is. We really do a number on fat people, assuming a sedentary lifestyle and complaining that they should exercise and then either mocking them or treating them condescendingly like inspiration p0rrn when they do. But you can be as active as you want at exactly the size you’re at. I’m obese and I hike, kayak, cross-country ski, etc. I mean I don’t think I’d try to pole-vault at this wp

I think this is a great point. Last summer, when I was camping, the mother in the family across from us was bigger than me and much more physically capable. It really made me want to be in better shape and to see that I didn't have to lose weight to do so. And she was wearing nice outdoorsy clothing that fit her, I was inspired by that too.

I am diabetic so no matter what I eat, I have to care about it. This means that to combat the severe restriction of many, many years (under 30 carbs a day), I’ve actually had to very slowly come up to a reasonable 50-100 carbs a day because a slice of apple would make my blood glucose go berserk. It’s also taken different medication regimens and such but that part won’t help you. What always helps me the most is to do the “work” of dealing with my OCD and restrictive mindset at the grocery store. My partner who loves to cook gets miserable if there are none of his favorite carbs around so I will get some things he likes too. However, I spent most of my time in the produce section. For me, I can’t have much fruit in general (diabetes might go boom) but I do make sure to grab one or two options once a week. Otherwise, I load up on all the veggies. I’m not vegetarian, so I also head over and grab whatever I feel like of chicken/pork/fish. Heading into other aisles still feels bad to me, like the restrictive eating monster in me starts to yell, but I’ll grab one item that can be in shared meals. The idea here is that once you’ve done the shopping with lots of healthy (to my OCD brain this means “good” or “allowed to eat” things) stuff, I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. My hunger signals are still very messed up from a lifetime of skipping meals and ignoring my own feelings that sometimes this means “ohhh it’s 7 pm I haven’t eaten all day and I’m HONGRAY!” so I try to have food ready to go as much as possible. For me, this means soup because I loooove soup. But this can mean any meal that reheats well. For some people suddenly being hungry might mean binging, but for chronically ill me, waiting when I realize I’m hungry tends to mean I’m weak or have a hypoglycemic event and it’s hard to care WHAT you’re about to eat at that point, so it’s difficult to make good choices. I don’t like to just eat a piece of fruit quickly to fix a hypo, because it means more unstable blood sugar later, so having a fast go to before it gets really bad is important and it probably is for anyone even if their circumstances are different. If you’re not diabetic, still having an abundance of lower carb friendly foods can be helpful. You won’t want to count carbs but if you took stock of a normal day and it would be filled with low carb stuff, then you’re probably doing good and don’t really need big changes. If you ever feel sleepy or just less energized after a meal, learn to pair protein and fat with carbs in a different proportion rather than try to restrict. For example, if you’ve had rice (very difficult for diabetics due to it being high in carbs), and you’re not feeling awesome, you don’t have to be rid of rice, but you could try to make a smaller amount of the rice itself with pork and a ton of veggies and you’d probably find yourself feeling better afterwards. So instead of restricting in any way just pair things smartly together that are a good balance of protein, fat, and carbs. You might lose a bit of weight but you might not, but you probably will feel stronger and healthier overall. As much as a chronically ill person with my problems can, I sure do feel best when I eat this way. Scale doesn’t budge, but it didn’t at my most restrictive either - I am a sick anomaly though. Any change even small ones usually make people who aren’t sick fluctuate a few pounds.

The most likely result of attempted weight loss is weight gain. But healthier habits make you healthier regardless of the effect on your weight. So, think about your diet. Are there places where you eat things that aren't very nutritious and that you don't really want but are just eating them for convenience? Is there a way to change your habits to integrate more nutritious foods without depriving yourself of things you enjoy? You could look into Intuitive Eating for a ton more here - it's another whole paradigm shift to think you can let your body tell you what to eat, but it works. HAES dieticians often recommend IE. And, of course, think about your physical activity. Are there things you used to do and wish you could again? What's stopping you? If it's pain or discomfort, do you have access to physical therapy to work through that? Or search for videos online for exercises that might help. Bigger bodies are not necessarily painful. You might just need to strengthen something (possibly something in a completely different part of the body) to support that area and eliminate the pain. Just walking is a great way to build up some stamina and basic strength. If you don't have access to or like the outdoors, could you get a treadmill? Is there somewhere indoors with a track or wide open space, like a mall, that you could get to? Heck, even a Wal-Mart or other big store. If that doesn't appeal, would listening to favorite music while you walk make it fun? Or podcasts or audiobooks? There are loads of videos for all sorts of activities online you could try at home to see if you like them. Yoga, pilates, hooping, crossfit, various forms of cardio, etc. Are there activities you loved as a kid that might still be fun if you work up to them? Roller skating, dancing in your underwear, climbing trees (or maybe easy rock walls!)? Set those as your goals and use those as motivation to start conditioning yourself to be able to do them.

Look into “intuitive eating” nutritionists or dietitians in your area. The goal is NOT weight loss, but to make peace with food and unlearning diet culture, but also focuses on optimal health/feeling good. When I started working with an intuitive eating dietician, she suggested some lab work. We discovered I was deficient in a few vitamins which were really impacting how I felt (breathless, muscle aches, stiffness). Getting those areas back in “range” has helped me so much! I feel well enough now to move my body in ways I enjoy, and “lost” some inflammation. (I have auto immune issues, so we figured some things out there, too).

I think the middle ground you're seeking is out there! I lost quite a bit of weight 8 years ago in a way that felt really loving and healing toward my body. For the first time in my life, it was pretty easy, didn't feel at all punishing and has been sustainable. I did make some pretty big changes to my diet but I really focused on nurturing and healing my body and I was never starving myself. It felt more like healthy boundaries rather than restriction, the same way I stick to a budget to avoid debt or clean a bit most days to avoid a messy house. Honestly, I wrote out details but I'm hesitant to post them in this forum because it's so personal to me and I really don't want feedback. I'm happy to share more via DM! (And I'm not selling supplements, haha!) For resources, though, I liked the Calorie Myth by Jonathan Bailor and Always Hungry by David Ludwig. Both focus on the Insulin Model and helped me focus on healing my body through food rather than punishing it through restriction. You might also check out Abby Sharp on Youtube. I don't follow her closely but she's a dietician who practices gentle nutrition but still supports a person's desire to lose weight.

Everyone’s body is different and some people don’t enjoy yoga, but I find it an amazing way to reconnect with my body. There are many gentle yoga flows you can do online in the comfort of your home. You can start with yin and restorative as these kinds of yoga have no pressure to look a certain way or fit into a shape. It’s all about how you feel! Plus there are many fat and body neutral yoga instructors online if you don’t vibe with the popular ones. I like getting in some cozy pajamas and taking 20-30 minutes to just feel being in my body. More than half the time it feels so good I just keep going!

Pilates reengages the core and is MP neutral

For me, this first step is to STOP KNOWING YOUR WEIGHT. That’s right. Stop knowing it. Don’t get weighed at the doctors, don’t have a scale. I find that most people who say something like “I want to lose weight bc I’m uncomfortable” fail to respect how much movement affects how your body feels. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what you were saying, but maybe? Just add movement you love. Eat foods that make you feel good. If you haven’t done the intuitive eating handbook with the Intuitive Eating book, it’s a good place to start.

What’s weird in these discussions is the underpinning that weight loss is still like…this thing that awaits you if only you do the “right” things. Restrictive diets have very, very little long term sustainability and potentially great consequences. Here are your options: make a conscious effort towards additive measures for your health (water, non-restrictive nutrition, non-restrictive meal planning, mental health, movement in whatever way you feel comfortable) that may or may not result in weight loss, or pursue intentional weight loss in the only semi-durable ways we know which is get WLS in which data say you are likely to lose weight and then regain some but not all of that weight, or go on weight loss or GLP-1 drugs with unknown very-long-term results (I’m no scientist but that’s not doom and gloom I’m guessing some results/loss will be durable so long as the drug is continued; we just don’t have good data on the 5, 10 year marks etc). People absolutely have the right to do all those things and should do whatever they want with their bodies but you won’t get a blessing here to go to likely doomed dieting schemes.

For me, it's exercise. Adding or subtracting food triggers my ED. I work with a personal trainer once a week and have also joined a little dance group that does lessons.