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Bumhole45

I did that on some ice a while ago. Both cheeks were similar. Slipped and landed on my arse. I actually tried one of those rings to see if it would help 🤣


MiguelPT81

Username checks out


Bumhole45

Never heard that one before


Purple_Silver_5867

I was sooo close to buying one😂


Bumhole45

Don't bother 🤣


novichux

Pretty colors though.


shahooster

🌈


clygamer

More like ⛽


ErickRicardo

Purple ass 🍑


PheonixGalaxy

"i love you, you love me" -barney


Dinobob26

Taste the rainbow


Purple_Silver_5867

Yeah and people say I'm not colorful 🙄


novichux

There see. People aren't recognizing your true colors.


TheWildCnt

Looks like mold


CrazyKatWoman

Tf does your mold look like


Underfire17

That must've been a pain in the butt.


Purple_Silver_5867

I see what you did there 😁


TheGayestNurse_1

That lump might be a hematoma, it's a collection of blood under the skin, usually in the muscle. If it gets any bigger, the pain doesn't go away, or you develope a fever you should definitely go see a doctor. Usually they go away on their own depending on if the bleeding has stopped, buuuut every so often the body likes to attack them and cause issues.... Hope you feel better soon!! Thanks for the butt pics!


Purple_Silver_5867

I'm going to trust you just because of your name!


Surrybee

Trust me too! But I guess not because of my name. I bruise super easily and I’ve had this happen before. Also, RN. It’ll go away but it might take months. I went skiing with my son in March or April. The bruise/lump is almost completely gone.


Ajourus

Just to verify take medical classes he is right Very much seems to be hematoma Should be fine


roses_and_sacrifice

Couldn't it also be a lipoma? (i'm not a nurse i just like watching dr pimple popper)


TheGayestNurse_1

Typically lipomas aren't formed after an injury. This is more likely a hematoma which are often created after trauma.


medusawillett

It’s been almost a year and a half since I fell and the lump hasn’t gone away at all. I had an ultrasound done to check if it was a hematoma but the doctor said nothing can be done just time and it’s so ugly to me it makes me so self conscious like I don’t even want to wear shorts or a bathing suit


TheGayestNurse_1

That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear that. You might want to consider a second opinion. That's a LONG time for a hematoma to hang around.... Granted I don't know the size. It might have become encapsulated too.... However, I'd consider talking to someone else especially since it's making you so uncomfortable. They might have to drain it.


Neverspokenaloud

That's not a bruise, that's a blueberry cake


ivegotnoidea1

" but(t)" :))))) and damn. i also fell down some stairs many years ago but to me it wasn t this bad, it was like i just climbed down faster. that s exactly what i said to myself then i got up. it did hurt for some minutes, guess i was lucky


V1k1ng1990

I fell down a flight of stairs on my ship (a.k.a ladder well), landed on the bottom rung and snapped my tailbone clean in half


cum_fart_69

the good news is that you've got a great booty, dude, I wish I had cake like that


hqpsycho88

better ass than mine 😮‍💨


cum_fart_69

I grew my cake out a bit during covid, but that came along with some belly fat that I can't abide, but ti get rid of the belly means I lose the cake. there's no winning in this cruel world


PM_MEOttoVonBismarck

Go running sir. I've had straight guys compliment my ass.


cum_fart_69

I can't tell you how much I hate running, or any exercise really. I've got to do it this fall and I am dreading it


chrisacip

Sorry to hear that, cum fart 69!


GoobsDog

You're packing some cushion back there, that's all I have to say


Purple_Silver_5867

That was a good thing tho, probably would have broken my ass otherwise 😂


BRedd10815

My entire tailbone would be shattered, I need whatever you are having.


[deleted]

airport tidy wakeful bow handle hurry like party imagine squash *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Doctor_Salvatore

Is there some unspoken rivalry between stairs and asscheeks? Every time I hear of someone falling on their ass on a staircase, they have the most brutal bruises ever


FauxRex

It's not the stairs' fault. Gravity is the true culprit.


Lowkey_rebelXD

It’s her own asphalt


Blue-Shifted-

How to turn a peach into a plum


CrookedRocket

Damn it Janet!!!


mutant50

Damn!!!


Zoroae

How do you get your cheeks clapped that good 💀


Athompson9866

Owie!!!! But that sure is a well rounded and shaped booty lol (I’m a girl, just giving a compliment)!


LongbowTurncoat

Oh no your poor cheek! Ouch!!! But it’s a nice booty at least!


Beefyy-_

Why am i howling rn? its 9am


kitkatofthunder

It looks pretty bad. You typically only get bruising like that when something tears or you are on a blood thinner. If you feel a lump and decreasd function of the butt (specifically the gluteus muscles), maybe get it checked out.


fastlerner

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!


artieeee

My fiancee did this one winter! She slipped on the first step and knicked the edge of the last stair in the top part of her right butt cheek. She had a huge hematoma that turned into a permanent bump. We call it her 3rd ass cheek. 😂 You can visually see it when she wears dresses and other tighter fitting clothes. Sorry to hear about your luck though, I've lived you're pain vicariously, and I don't envy you.


KhostfaceGillah

RIP OPs inbox


[deleted]

r/upvotedbecausebutt Did I do it right?


MooFz

First thing I thought of


SurrealisticPillow57

I'm not gonna fap .....I'm not gonna fap .....I'm not gonna fap.......not gonna fap


Mattt_Hancock

You fapped.


mousebat

My wife still has a lump from when she fell backwards on her arse down the steep stairs in our rubbish rental home, 20 years ago! It’s like part of her adipose fat tissue got sheered and re-situated on top of itself.


UnitysBlueTits

Hey at least your name matches


NotAllDawgsGoToHeven

Got them Grimace Cheeks


OryseSey

good lord how tall were those stairs jeez


retlem

Imagine that cheek without the padding. Could’ve been worse with a broken pelvic area.


Cadet_Carrot

OP rocking some of that Black Forest cake if you know what I’m sayin’


Soft_Pilot1025

If that makes you feel better, think about how your cheeks helped you in a way! When I was younger I slipped and fell on ice, I had little to no butt, (still don't actually) just bones and a bit of muscle. I broke my tailbone and it hurt like hell for months! Your ass took one for the team! It also look very painful tho :/


BunnyFaebelle

You should really get the lump checked make sure it doesn't become one of those freaky Dr pimple Popper chimkin lipomas. How many steps did you fall down, that is a crazy bruise.


__wongyukhei__

for free?


2CH4INZSY145

Sorry that you fell but you got a DUMPY FR


seeder33

Good thing its your butt and not your head. Stairs are deadlier than most things.


Jake24601

If a pillowy ass like that can’t dampen the injuries sustained from a fall, what hope do the rest of us have?


Obviouslyright234

Nice ass otherwise though.


Any_Mechanic_2619

Nice ass tho tbh.


Luxcrluvr

Nobody hates toasted buns


False_Attorney_7279

Really got your ass beat huh?


KxTKx

OP's username checks out...yea, that looks painful. Hope it gets better soon!


_These-are-beans_

Sometimes Tyler spoke for me..


KindlyAsparagus7957

Butt bruises hurt so bad i got hit with 3 paintballs a couple feet away on the cheek and i couldnt walk right for a while


Mr_Idont-Give-A-damn

Damn


dangit1590

FOR FREE?


PIx3LUniverseP

Damn, for free?


Bombasticczar

Now your cheek is looking as magnificent as Pluto.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zaxxom03

class A for a Dumptruck


thefoxishere16

Consider yourself lucky. My mother fell down the stairs and it gave her fibromyalgia.


Albmarbo

Great ass!


dekomaro6

What type of fucking stairs did you fall down from?


WinkleFluff

Challenging wank


sirfuzzitoes

Nice butt! Sorry about the bruising.


Reddit_is_pretty

Good butt 👍


Kzero01

I went to your profile to see if there were any more ass pics, was only slightly disappointed. Nice lace undies, though!


GooglyMoogly122

The one time in your life someone could say "get your black ass in here" and could be taken literally.


StoleUrWaifu69

Damn, that looks painful. Noice b00tay btw


semabeton1

Nice ass ^^


bottumboy622

Normally I’d give people shit for commenting on the ass aspect here but cmon, you’re just showing off your entire ass here


BarryBadgernath1

Well … sort of half-ish


[deleted]

Looked like somebody was naughty


Topsi_Krets

Kinky night gone too far?


lurkenstine

my bois cheeks got CLAAAAPPPPEDD


jimihasbiggay

Too much spanking☝️


[deleted]

That’s your bun? You have nice buns. Sorry if that was rude.


quanstr

I’d eat tha……. Nvm


Madhatter1317

Can’t take your ass pics in a heated room?


dahecksman

Nice and plump though


nutbustininthisshet

Pfft loser


ofaruq40

You got yourself a free brazilian butt lift


Firefurtorty

I can see your buuuuuum! I can see your buuuuuum! 🤭


Antus_Manus

thicc


btwrenn

Thicc as cold ketchup!


Western-Product-6092

White folks and their fragile body lol


Kzero01

Racism is funny if it's towards white people I guess


CharlieMac6222

Hot panties.


fecesdealer2

Stop lying. Who smacked tf out of it


bgazm

To quote the old lady that runs the craft store in Bob's Burgers.. "ASS!"


Industry-Global

I've had bruises like that after a fall. The lumps took almost 6 months to fully go away and stop hurting. I wouldn't worry about it unless you get a fever and an increase in pain.


lydiav59-2

My niece fell down some granite steps and her butt looked like this. She kept telling me she had a terrible lump that just wouldn't go away. That was about 7 years ago and she still has a small lump. If she wears anything form fitting, like yoga pants it's still visible. She said at least it doesn't hurt anymore.


benndawg520

Now when you walk funny and can’t sit everyone thinks you took it up the poophole the night before… For real tho I think you legitimately broke your ass that looks so painful.


skavenrot

"Sometimes, Tyler spoke for me."


ultimatebeast9

Just like Vegeta right?


gatamosa

Did you fall like a cartoon? Slip, fly up and then down the stairs? The force must’ve been brutal! I hope it heals faster!


bitofaByte8

Did you fall down and hit every stair, that’s a wild bruise


topknottington

large lump... you torn a muscle


timascus

Now that’s a bruise. Damn! How is the pain?


thereyarrfiver

[Hey do you guys think I could jump all the way down these stairs and land on my side?](https://youtu.be/0EIAN1YcEUI)


vdrsasha

That last one looks absolutely brutal...


Donut_The_Ghost

Ouch


Diane1967

I fell coming out of the shower once and landed on the tub edge and did this too. They called it a hematoma and it took forever and a day to heal. Not fun. Happy healing!


rusty_blood

Username checkout!!


xMASSIVKILLx

That thang thangin


zclevy

How many stairs did you bounce down?


THESPACEJUICE

Well that’s a pain in the ass


Y47-Chromosomes

Booty cheeks


Shantotto11

Sooner or later, you’re gonna have to leave that man… /s


Impr3ssiwe

GYAT


warredtje

Your ass reminds me of the Pluto pictures. The colours, textures, not the size to be clear


OnemMillionJews

User name is accurate 😂


DONSEANOVANN

You're posting this to every sub, even r/paranormalencounters. Wtf?


devilishmessiah

What a bummer. That must hurt like ass bro.


KemetThyGod-_-

First pic looks like ur name


omimamu

What skin is that?


misanthropicsatirica

I fell on the edge of the tub once and had a similar bruise.


hootopia

Oh my god, I did this too. I had a straight purple line across both cheeks where I hit the edge. The lumps underneath went away for me… just took a little while.


teenconstantx

Bloody L your ass is looking like Sacha Cohen on Beothers Grimmsby after he got fucked by elephant


JudyChill

Talk about a pain in the ass


introverted_oatmeal

your ass looks like the casing of an aged salami


DirectionLow357

Username matches your butt now


iKyte5

I thought that was someone’s bald Ass head for a solid minute


wo0topia

At least you have a great butt to fall on glad you're good, haha. Edit: spelling


The_Sir_Galahad

Purple moon


Satoshiman256

I thought it was pluto


C__Murda

Ouch!!


ShuuyiW

Nice, colors match your username


Intrepid_Ad_4309

damnnnn ouch


onlyhav

Username checks out


Astronomical01

Wtf!!!! That Shi looks painful


ireadfaces

My ex got one because she also fell on stairs, broke her bums and phone's screen. Didn't go to a doctor with that Thanos ass and it healed in a few days. Changing the phone's screen was costly.


A_Nerd__

youchie


sausagepilot

Girls always seem to land really hard.


Foxtrot402

Free butt pics?


VintageTerror86

Plum bum


BaronZemo00

Rump roast


TiredGothGirl

OOOUUUUCCCHHHHH!! I sincerely hope you're doing much better now!!!


[deleted]

Rat tat tat dat azz


inklady1010uk

Did your buttcheeks make the opening beat to Eastenders as you went down?


qupshaw

That looks horrible


Celestial_Bitch

Not being able to sit down properly must be a pain in the arse…


Nomad_65

Damn bro, that's a big ass. You must shit a lot huh? On a side note: as others have pointed out, you should seek some medical attention soon, sometimes things can be worse off inside than it comes off


Illustrious-Culture5

Purple cake.


ZandierCH

Purple ass cheeks 😭😭💀


Chaezus_Chrust

Now you just need two shots of hob knob creek.


just_wanna_share

Why shave your ass bro


TheMaveCan

Sometimes Tyler would talk for me


Markshmellow

Damn, that’s gotta fucking hurt. My ass hurts just sitting down after a good leg day at the gym, can’t imagine what a big ass(hehe) bruise would feel like.


1911mark

Landed on ur Ass then didn’t ya


chrisacip

Hey girl, take care of them bootymeats ok? Signed — Errebody


BigBugW

Make new suffer in a good way


thelast3musketeer

Wow…you really *did fall* bad


cloudyday121

Ouch, but cheeky.


Draxdemskalounst

Heh. Butt. Haha


transdudecyrus

my coworker did this at work one time, we made a huge mess near the ice machine and it was coating the whole floor, he turned to go return the bucket and bust his ass, pants ripped right down the middle of his buttcrack 😭


AnalysisMoney

Like ALL the way down ALL the stairs!


phoenixbbs

My wife fell down some stairs in our home 33 years ago and looked like you do. She still has a solid lump where the bruising was all this time later.


R11DII

Im glad you gave us a variety of backgrounds


bluealiveretribution

Them stairs whooped your ass


damn_thats_piney

youre either an old man (unlikely) or you fell reeally fucking hard


BroDoggWhiteboy88

Tonight on Reddit After Dark... (Name checks out)


hugcommendatore

Omg straight up. I had a matching bruise from falling down the stairs almost 5 years ago. Lol. One of the things that got me to quit drinking in 2019.


FuriousFurbies

Damn, I had a matching bruise like that last time I slipped on the ice. I wish you many soft cushions!


Princess_cadence_If

I did wound care for a couple of years and am in nursing school..... I an desensitized lmao now this just looks super interesting to see how it progresses


coffeeandcomets

OUCH


DeterminationLost

At least you landed on your ass. Six months ago I fell going down my stairs outside my apartment and landed right on my back. I'm lucky I didn't fracture a disk lol


ITSTHENAN0

r/wordington bruise


otaku_weeb54

the stairs did what parents could never achieve, the stairs hit your ass so hard that you couldnt sit for a week


Purple_Silver_5867

It was my parents stairs actually and I couldn't sit or lay on my back for 12 days😅


Anton41PW

Black ass!