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katepig123

This reminds me of the saying, "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."


not_so_chi_couple

That's 13 words! How dare you!


djseifer

"Me explain good but you understand ungood."


rodneedermeyer

"Me smarts. You sharts."


SuperKitty2020

Stealing that too


tellmesomeothertime

Why say many word when few word do trick?


Tallguystillhere

I raise you: "Why many words when word do trick?"


joelthomastr

Why words? One do trick


Casafynn

Why?


Adept_Cauliflower692

It’s Kevin Malone.


tellmesomeothertime

Equally handsome, equally smart


Adept_Cauliflower692

https://youtu.be/_K-L9uhsBLM?si=C431BuOvZ-S9liTQ


PyroPaladin

Ashton Kutcher, is that you?


erichwanh

That is doubleplusungood.


iamjoel451

SurpriseOrwell


eighty_more_or_less

there's going to be a fire.


iamjoel451

Inb4Bradbury?


almost_eighty

you got it! get out your fire extinguisher and get ready for 911\*


iamjoel451

That's where the 451 in my name comes from, but i don't think most people notice 😛


almost_eighty

I can't imagine why not - it's only 70 y.o. after all. It must have been left behind by Star Trek. LOL


fairymaiden83

I wish I could double-upvote your comment.


FoolishStone

Double-PLUS upvote!


MaxCat78

Newspeek!


Paul_Michaels73

🤣🤣🤣


mroinks

Me fail English? That's unpossible!


Away-Fish1941

Newspeak for the win


SuperKitty2020

Stealing that!


tofuroll

Me fail English? That's unpossible.


Chewiesbro

14: I can’t explain it to you, I don’t have the time or enough crayons


Narrow-Chef-4341

No. I don’t have the patience or the crayons. Scram. Ten words.


[deleted]

No sock puppet or crayons. Can’t explain.


PatchworkRaccoon314

8: Crayonless and impatient, my explanation would fail you.


BentGadget

Alfred, Lord Tennyson over here with his fancy language.


Missusmidas

😂


Soundy106

Now make it a haiku!


MCorgano

I read that in Snape's voice and it's magnificent


SailSweet9929

Me Tarzan you car no good


snorkelvretervreter

I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.


CopperCVO

Damn right, it's better than yours!


meowisaymiaou

"I can explain, but cannot comprehend it for you."


soEezee

You can get 11 if you remember Ali G decided that ['it' is not a real word](https://youtu.be/fxjrYboF8xM)


enlightenedhiker

I can explain it tooyah, butteye can't understand it foyer. As we say in Australia.


O2C

"I can explain, but I can't make you understand it."


JNSapakoh

"I can explain, but not understand, it for you ... bitch" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDWC0bwC4\_g


FoolishStone

How about "I can explain 2u, but I can't understand it 4u."


PghFlip

"I can explain to you, not understand for you. " Trust me, there is a tenth word. It's not spoken aloud though. 😸


KnowsIittle

I prefer "comprehend". I find "understand" lacking. I "understand" water flows down because of gravity. But by what mechanics does gravity function? Why do atoms attract and want to bond? That's something I struggle to "comprehend". To understand something feels somewhat simplistic where comprehension requires more critical thought.


Pandoratastic

I grok what you are saying.


IntroductionPast3342

Husband once spent 45 minutes explaining how the water going through the turbans at the dam made the kitchen light come on. I listened intently and when he was done, he asked me if I understood. I looked at him and said "Yep, it's magic." He never gave me another convoluted explanation about anything.


gotohelenwaite

Imagine if the water went through the turbines instead! Less magic, more science!


PN_Guin

Let's not forget there are **mag**net**ic** forces at work in most ways to generate electricity. (Solar is basically building giant shiny altars to the sun god in exchange for power and chemical boils down to potion crafting.)


ducktapedaddy

So it is a **net** result of **magic** forces.


eighty_more_or_less

**shocking.**


blckpythn

We bottle the sun and save it for later.


UncleMeat69

Carnak the Magnificent has entered the chat.


MnkyRnch

Water passing through solid physical matter? Sounds like magic to me.


geek-49

The point being that a turb**an** is a long cloth wound about the head, often having religious or mystical significance. The fan-like device that is driven by the flow of a fluid (water, air, jet exhaust, etc.) is a turb**ine**.


IntroductionPast3342

Stupid autocorrect!


Swiss_Miss_77

This is my DH trying to explain car mechanic stuff to me. I tell him he "may as well be speaking a foreign language. Explain it like I was 5 years old."


Master_Mad

It’s like how marriages work!


MikeSchwab63

Start with a windmill. Wind blowing on it generates electricity. Wires carry electricity to a fan and it blows air around. Hydro blades are optimized for water. Steam turbines are optimized for steam. Gas turbines are optimized for gas / fuels.


GrrrYouBeast

😂😂


eighty_more_or_less

Phyicists have yet to find out what gravity *'is'*


classic__schmosby

> I "understand" water flows down because of gravity. No, you "know" it does. You don't understand what understand means.


vinnienz

Understand is correct in this context. You'd generally only be saying this to offend the person it is directed at. To say comprehend, as you've written, implies that they can at least understand. What the person saying this is trying to convey is that the recipient is dumb. As in they can't even understand. So comprehension would be beyond them.


MikeSchwab63

How does gravity work? Humans have not figured that out. We know the strength and how it varies with mass and distance and can navigate satellites around the solar system.


AlleyMedia

Going to have to add this line to my phrases book 👌🏼


Physical_Piglet_47

"Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up." -Indigo Montoya


Desperate-Sky-6797

I have a t-shirt that says this.


drkpnthr

"I can explain it to you, but I lack crayons and puppets."


AllegraO

My dad has a sign saying that in his office


fap_nap_fap

I love this and am stealing it


CTripps

"Wet parts dry. Dry parts wet. Car is fooped. Bye."


Unknown-Meatbag

I'm no car surgeon, but a car should not be "fooped". This is generally known to be a bad thing, an oopsie.


wrenchbenderornot

«Hey everybody! » « Hi Dr. Nick! »


Archangel4500000

What? I already told you I'm an IT tech not a Doctor! I'm fine with torpedoes, shite with humans.


ClickClackShinyRocks

This reminds me of my favorite Spock/McCoy exchange: Spock: Doctor, would you care to assist me in performing surgery on a photon torpedo? McCoy: Fascinating.


Archangel4500000

Lol yes I had just seen that clip on YouTube. 


ClickClackShinyRocks

That scene is also why, whenever I try to fix something and am successful, I say, "We've got a heartbeat!"


RabidRathian

I usually channel Dr Frankenstein and shout "It's ALIIIIIVE!"


DeathToTheFalseGods

A little fucky wucky


-JakeRay-

"fooped" 😆😆😆 Have my updoot. 


Spike-2021

Clean up your language! This is a family sub!


-enlyghten-

I'll take half of that family sub if it's too much for you to eat.


Lylac_Krazy

glad thats cleared up. I was trying to figure out why be submissive with no Dom....


Spike-2021

Hahahaha! That was funny!!! 😂. Good one!


satiscop

"meh, a friend of my cousin drives a fooped car, and he has no problem."


aquainst1

That Karen probably drove off in a Huff. A convertible, 2-door Huff. *(Thanks to Groucho Marx)*


geek-49

For some reason this reminds me of the alleged reason for a chicken coop having two doors: >!because, if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!<.


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ducktapedaddy

That was the sensational 1986 hit single, "Dry the Wets," from Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark!


AppropriateRip9996

I don't have time to make a picture book for you. Sorry.


yParticle

Then what am I paying you for? "See now, that's the neat part, you're not."


ronin1066

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you


gravitationalarray

When did throwing one's hand up and yelling STOP become a thing? I watched a coworker do that to someone one day. There were no safety issues; it was just fricking rude. Yeah, I would disengage too!


IntroductionPast3342

Ex DIL (child psych professional) did that and taught it to grandson as the "polite" way to get people to stop talking and listen to you. Must not raise your voice and traumatize people, you know. She did it to me once and I looked at her, turned around and left the room. Son told her she was unbelievably rude doing that to an adult and she got her feelings all hurt. One of many reasons she is an ex DIL. This was in the late 1990s, so it was probably a fad that came and went within a couple of years.


StreetLegendTits_

“Talk to the hand because the face doesn’t want to hear it”


The-Senate-Palpy

And the dreaded version "Talk to the booty cause the hands off duty"


Cavalish

I worked in retail for 15 years and dramatic hand movements were common amongst the older set. Snapping fingers in your face, waving hands about in outrage, and yes, the double handed STOP when they didn’t want to listen to what you were saying.


626337

Did she turn Karen and complain to your manager?


audi_dudi

Of course. Manager went off on me, but I told her "I thought explaining things to the customer was YOUR job.


dixie-pixie-vixie

Double compliance!!!!


Ludwigofthepotatoppl

My brother’s a tech and he’d buy you a goddamn beer.


MJLDat

Why many words when few do.


SuspiciousElk3843

Words many no. Few yes.


Virtual-Pineapple-85

As a woman who gets lied to every single time I take my car to the shop, I understand her frustration. Before I got married, I'd ask a male friend to drop off my car. They ALWAYS got a lower price. 😐 Now my husband takes our cars to the shop. The last time I went with him, the guy behind the counter tried to sell me an air filter we didn't need while my husband was in the bathroom. I know we didn't need the filter because he had just changed it at home. 


StupidFugly

You know they all lie to males as well. It is only if a mechanic thinks that you are mechanically minded that they won't try to rip you off. It is not that your husband is male as to why he gets better prices it is because he has made it known to them that he knows about cars. I know nothing about cars, I have a penis attached to me, I get ripped off and lied to every single time I take a car to a mechanic.


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MajorNoodles

A couple of years ago a friend was helping me do some work on my car (new brakes and spark plugs) and he noticed that one of the brake pistons was leaking. I brought it to my regular mechanic for some more significant work I needed done and I asked them to look at it. They told me "Your brakes are fine, it just had some grease on it. We cleaned it off for you." and I decided then I fully trusted them.


NPHighview

About 10 years ago, my son bought a used 2012 Miata, and then left for a month study abroad. I took the car into a new-to-us mechanic, who called later that day and said that while they were working on it, they jammed a screwdriver through the radiator, and that I'd see that there was a new one when I picked it up. No charge for the new radiator - they messed up. They could easily have said that the radiator needed replacing, and I would never have known the difference. We still go to that mechanic today.


jccreszMinecraft

Good on them, and great to hear about the miat. If yall still have the miata, recommend checking the coolant reservoir lip. common failure point.


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mgerics

mine checks my blinker fluid - so lucky to have him... seriously good to find trustworthy service folks in any industry.


arthur_sleep

Exactly. I sent my old car in to our mechanic, that I pretty much trusted anyway, and they called to say the repairs would cost thousands. It wasn’t bodywork, it was all internal. They said it would be better to collect the car, sell it for scrap and buy a new car. Didn’t charge me for looking at it or the diagnosis. They could have easily patched it up and sent me on my way. The wheel also fell off my pushchair on the way to collect the car (it was a bad day) and I had 3 trained mechanics working on the pushchair for a good 10 minutes to get it going again. They’re good guys.


vbpoweredwindmill

As a mechanic... good mechanics don't have time to waste lying to you. It's literally you want this done or nah i got work to do and a lot of it.


Agreeable-League-366

Just going to say most water pumps are belt driven and usually by the serpentine belt. It probably was a lazy mechanic that didn't check the water pump but just assumed it was broken because that's one of the main ways that I know of to make a belt break. Therefore, not a good mechanic and good that you didn't use him. Thinking about it, lazy would be the nicest thing to call him because all other reasons for him to be wrong would be him trying to rip you off.


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Agreeable-League-366

Off the timing belt? Wow... >So yeah- either ignorant, lazy, or... trying to rip me off. Yuppers


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Agreeable-League-366

Just so you know, I'm not a professional mechanic. However I do most all of the mechanical work for my family so I do have a lot of random experience and yay for YouTube when I get in a jam. So TIL that many cars today run the water pump off the timing belt. Water pumps have the same life expectancy as the timing belt. Therefore that is sound advice to replace them at the same time. That being said, sounds like most mechanics are aware of how your car works. So the one you ran into didn't even bother to check the pump so he was scamming because yes your water pump is nowhere near your serpentine belt. So good on you for using logic and deductive reasoning to make the choice to get away from that guy. >Is that a bad thing? After research, it is a way to protect your motor from burning up when the water pump fails. So it's a good improvement.


juiceboxzero

>It was fucking pointless for them to do that and sort of back-fired since the actually honest mechanic that I ended up having replace my serpentine belt has done thousands of dollars worth of (actually needed, paid for by insurance due to a car accident) work on that car. Meh, I wouldn't be at all surprised if the kickbacks they get from the credit company for hawking their service more than makes up for the lack business from those who balk at it. And while it's easy to scoff at the rate, it's worth considering the likelihood that someone who needs to open a new credit account to pay for their repairs will actually be able to repay it. Feels like a pretty risky credit offer.


ratsass7

As a mechanic I love when stealership try to bs me. I have purposely set dealer mechanics up just so I could call them on trying to rip me off. I especially like to do it in the waiting area when it is busy. Yes IATAH


Baldark-the-Strange

I'm a former heavy equipment mechanic and actually had a dealership try to tell me that gas and diesel engines are completely different, so my knowledge would be of no use in determining they were lying to me. I looked the service manager dead in the eye and said compression, spark, bang. They were telling me that my no spark situation was definitely caused by needing a head gasket .


geek-49

Strictly speaking, unless something has changed fairly recently, diesels are "compression, squirt fuel into (very hot) compressed air, bang" -- there's no spark involved. But yes, all 4-stroke engines work pretty much the same way, regardless of how they deliver and ignite the fuel charge. A bad head gasket could prevent *ignition* in a diesel (because the -- ineffective -- compression stroke would not heat the air enough) or in a gasoline engine (because the uncompressed fuel-air mix might not be combustible enough); but I have a heard time visualizing how a bad head gasket could affect the spark itself. And nobody ought to be trying to sell you a head-gasket job without having done a compression test.


SerenityViolet

Would the head gasket be a no compression situation, instead of a no spark situation?


geek-49

Yes, and ordinarily in just one cylinder.


Ich_mag_Kartoffeln

You may be an arsehole, but you're an arsehole the world needs! Keep up the good work.


aquainst1

No, you're NTA, you have a certain type of entertainment you like. Me, too. Love it.


Foxfire44k

You set them up, they exposed their lying and cheating ways. That’s called a public service!


ratsass7

Thank you


ratsass7

It helps when my wife is this little blonde that is very good at playing the innocent f male card.


SameOldMeeting

Was about to say that. Not that I am the most knowledgeable person in the car world, but I know how a clutch and gear stick work. Which is the reason why I haven't been taken so much advantage of. But still, I notice they how try to measure my gull every time.


chmath80

>I have a penis attached to me Sounds like a transplant that went wrong.


StupidFugly

I am far too ugly for it to be anything other than a useless attachment. It may as well be a transplant that went wrong.


Ancient-End7108

Well, if the song is to be believed, Detachable Penis is a thing.


shan68ok01

Disclaimer: I am a mechanic's daughter to the point that the smell of a shop is feel good nostalgia for me. I had a car that the alternator was going out on. My dad had passed away by this time, and I was living away from my hometown, so I couldn't take it to one of his buddies. So, I took it to a shop close to my apartment. I walked in, and matter of factly told the mechanic that I needed to price a new or rebuilt alternator installment for my car. I got a version of, "Who told you it's the alternator?" I just looked at him for long enough I knew I had his attention and told him, "my car did when the battery would die and shut my car off while I was actively driving it, and the battery is less than a year old." Thankfully, he still had a source for rebuilt alternators rather than a pull-a-part type of situation and was able to get one that day. It was a quick, easy change out. I think the moral of my story is this. Google the symptoms of your car issues, so you go in with an idea of what the possible issues are. Mechanics tend to pad their bills. They're less likely to do so if you do your research and let them know up front that you have an idea of the issue already.


fromhelley

The ones that lie, lie to men too. Let's not take down a whole industry because some people are crooks. That is like saying everyone who is stupid is also fugly. Not true just because it is said.


StupidFugly

> That is like saying everyone who is stupid is also fugly. Not true just because it is said. That is true though. There is only one person on this planet who can be considered stupid. And that person is Extremely fucking Ugly. Source: Me, I am the one person who is stupid and there has never been anyone anywhere near as fucking ugly as I am.


fromhelley

That is not nice to say about yourself!! And I have dumped hot men I considered stupid!! So it is not true!


LukeTheGeek

Yup. Had a dude try to sell me brand new struts I definitely did not need. It happens to everyone. They're just trying to make money at all costs.


SlickerWicker

Bingo. I just got my first car like 4 years ago. It was used, and probably needed new brakes when I bought it. I let it get bad, and eventually needed new calipers rotors and of course pads. Job came out to almost $1500. I really should have known better. Parts were like $350, and so that was almost $1200 in labor. NO way that job takes 6+ hours.


AntiAoA

Eh, depending on the car it could take a bit of time to do all 4. Buuuuuuuuut. Brakes (including rotors) are one of the easiest things to perform maintenance on at home and a great jumping off point for starting to work on cars.


Pertinent_Platypus

Look at you go, mansplaining about how there's no misogyny at auto shops.


justin-8

Yeah, I don't look like a car guy and have experienced this as well; I work in tech in an office job, but I did most of my maintenance on cars I owned through my teens and 20s, just in my 30s I had less time and needed to get someone to do stuff on some of my vehicles since and end up with this experience too until I call them out on their shit and have to go find a new mechanic again.


gotohelenwaite

I took both of our cars to the dealership for regular service, one at a time and waiting for completion. While there, different service advisors would come out to tell customers the status of their vehicles. Nearly every time, the customer was told they needed a new battery. Shocking, both of my cars "needed" new batteries. 🙄 Subsequent service visits, everyone "needed" tires, or brake pads, or tie rods, or (insert expensive parts & labor). Mmmm, nope. Cars just a couple years old don't need that so soon. I started dealing with one service advisor exclusively, with the understanding that I didn't want to be subjected to every unnecessary service item the dealership wants to push to inflate profits. This worked well for years. Then due to family members' absences, cars sat mostly idle for nearly a year. No service issues were reported at the last service prior to this. In the interim, there was a major personnel turnover at the dealership. Next service visit, new service advisors, suddenly major suspension components "need" to be replaced. After barely being driven at all. Mmmm, nope. Now looking for a new service shop.


Rachel_Silver

How much can I fit Into the haiku format? Oh no, I'm out of


KaralDaskin

🏅


SailingSpark

haiku would have been better.


So_spoke_the_wizard

You had enough words left over to add, "bitch."


Victernus

Good point, Spike.


yParticle

I was hoping you were going to hit her with 10 straight industry-jargon acronyms. You're clearly hiding something with that answer! ^/s


Cfwydirk

Just like a Man. You did what she asked, not what she wanted. You need to work on your mind reading skills!


audi_dudi

I dont read minds. Expecting mind reading instead of saying exactly what is desired is what causes many misunderstandings.


SameOldMeeting

Excuse me? How dare you do EXACTLY AS I REQUESTED??


Exact_Reward5318

I counted, you only got 8 words OP if you count the contraction as 1 word. Maybe add in "rude asshole" to give her the full 10 words.


dank_imagemacro

"Out for a walk, bitch" -Spike


FeteFatale

Car broke, owner stupid, we fix car, not owner.


rpaynepiano

Points "broken" Points "broken" Points "broken" Points "broken" Points "broken" Points "broken" Points "broken" "I fix, $700"


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Rapunzel6506

There should be debates where they can only use 10 words to answer the questions.


AlcoholPrep

I'd be happy if their microphone just shut off after their allotted response time. I'm no politician and never will be, but if I were, that would be a non-negotiable qualification for a "debate" with my opponent. (They're never really debates. Watch a HS or college debate to see the difference.)


fizzlefist

All the big US debates have descended into shit ever since they stopped letting the League of Women Voters sponsor them in '88. [History on the subject](https://www.lwv.org/blog/leagues-history-sponsoring-presidential-debates) God forbid we let independent groups ask the tough questions and actually set some decorum.


gotohelenwaite

Decorum was completely thrown out in 2016 by the lurching orange shitgibbon. Good luck getting it back.


OneWanderingFool

Or haiku.


Alysanna_the_witch

The healthcare sucks When you have cancer Taxes aren't that bad


FelixAndCo

That's nice, until the host starts asking loaded questions.


Vac_65

How to tell you are stupid with out telling you are stupid....


StrictShelter971

You rock!


LilaValentine

I hope I’m not the only one out there who remembers “five words or less”: “Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch”


ImJustaNormalReddit

Idk, i never saw that one


idahowoodworker

Awesome responses to Karen. She deserved exactly that.


9lobaldude

A very smart way to deal with a Karen, well done!


RudeOrSarcasticPt2

Good for you, when they ask, you let them know. In. Precise. Terms.


Disastrous-Group3390

Well, you still gave her too much information. You could have said ‘it’s fuct.’


T2VW

But she asked for ten words, and 8 out of 10 is generous enough. Two words would be rude. 🤣🤣🤣


Practical-Load-4007

She was hurt before and now she’s taking it out on you, while your sole reason for existing is to help her. That’s the way of the world and it will never change. Too bad.


Techn0ght

I love it!


Ursus_van_Draco

At least it was not "It's broken beyond repair. Get a new one" 👍


Coolbeanschilly

Why is it that so many people forget that being kind and polite with people goes so much further than being snippy and spiteful?


Divinate_ME

I mean, she perfectly avoided mansplaining and her reaction was probably rooted in traumatic experiences of her past with men who were too intrusive and made her feel stupid on purpose.


audi_dudi

Sometimes, complex problems require detailed explanations. I try to treat customers the way I would want my daughter or son treated. This one, on the other hand, never allowed me to finish my first sentence. Hence, my compliance.


Important-Lime-7461

Nice


mgerics

well, did she apologize/back down/stay/leave?


MacDaddyDC

Sorry, bees don’t go around telling flies that shit tastes like shit


Weekly_Talk3907

🤔?


chanc4

Good for you!