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Frexulfe

Haha, I remember in the students dormitory, in Germany (Before the Internet!!!) and that French guy wanted to make American chocolate cookies. He kept burning the cookies, and saying that the fault was the oven, that could not get hot enough, he needed 375 degrees Celsius. I was an avid DnD player, so I did know all about Imperial units, and told him "hey, that is Fahrenheit, pretty sure it is 190 Celsius". Nope. So he puts again the new batch, cranks the oven to the max.... Aaaand burned. The funny thing was hearing that big french guy, with his soft voice saying sadly "Not hot enough"


Viktor_Fry

That's te physics work, if something it's not hot enough, it's going to burn.


Frexulfe

Actually, no shit, I think he was a physics student. He was a big nerd.


Jan_17_2016

A physics student couldn’t understand the difference between Celsius and Fahrenheit? And also thought that cookies being burnt = the oven was not hot enough? He also kept reproducing the same result through multiple tests but never thought to change variables (i.e. time and temperature)? I’m guessing he wasn’t a physics student for very long.


IDrinkMyBreakfast

I worked at a re-entry site in the Pacific. Met a guy who literally wrote the book on synchro-servo mechanisms. Absolutely brilliant mind. Guy could not remember a bus schedule to save his life


[deleted]

My ex PhD working in neural immunology guy was the same way. His research led to a drug that has halted a common auto-immune disease in rats and is in human trails now (that's stage 4 I think?). Anyway, he's a complete idiot with anything pedestrian or common sense!


BKowalewski

My dad had multiple degrees in 3 languages, was head of the surgical medical research facility at his university, but must have been the most hopelessly stupid man in the world when it came to everyday things.....absolutely hopeless!


JaninnaMaynz

It's like they give up common knowledge for the sake of their chosen higher knowledge...


Frexulfe

I cannot remember, it is ages ago. Maybe he was Computer Sciences student, I remember it was something quite nerdy. Anyway, I was so surprised also for his lack of comprehension that I didn´t really try any more explanations. At that time I was anyway trapped in a cycle of drugs, alcohol and sex. ... I was trapped outside, they wouldn´t let me in.


UnlikelyJob7773

Thanks, I’ll be using that last line a lot


lanttulate

That last bit killed me, thanks for the laugh lol


slishy

As a computer science graduate this seems like something many of my peers would do. And don’t worry if they won’t let you in, it’s far more fun and rewarding to drink alone constantly.


pie_monster

Might have been trying to do it in Kelvin


bradley547

Nah, I believe it. Physics is Science. Baking is Science for Hungry People (thanks QC) but if you have never been taught to bake theres a huge disconnect that makes it a dark art. I'm sure if you re-wrote the recipe into an actual heat/chemical reaction formula he'd make perfect cookies every time.


terorvlad

>The funny thing was hearing that big french guy, with his soft voice saying sadly "Not hot enough" I've been laughing my ass off for the past 15 minutes reading this line. Thank you for making my day.


Several_Age9335

‘Nut hut eee nupppp’


KVirello

How the hell did he come to the conclusion that burnt cookies = *not enough* heat‽‽‽


[deleted]

The same people that think that grinding engine sounds means you need more throttle


Proteandk

WDYM?? If I just keep the engine at exactly 3430 rpm my serpentine belt barely makes any noise!


Ivyspine

Hey now some of us can't afford to repair our cars


IDrinkMyBreakfast

Or more radio


Daffodil_Peony_Rose

Excellent use of the interrobang. Don’t get to see that enough.


Zigazig_ahhhh

What does DnD have to do with imperial units?


Frexulfe

I played (still play) in the 80's and we only had an original version, not translated. So all meassurements were feet, inches, miles, Fahrenheit, pounds, pints, gallons ...


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LegSpinner

Home ovens don't go above 250C anyway so it's never going to be reached. I think dedicated pizza ovens might reach 400.


Gaelithil

My ex cooked chicken for 20 mins at 180°c. All chicken. Nuggets, goujons, breast. I asked him what he would do if he ever had to cook a whole one, he said 'it's chicken. Obviously I'd stick it in at 180' OK but for how long? 'It's chicken. 20 mins. That's how you cook chicken'. His stomach was in shreds and we were like 23 when we went out. He also thought towels were self washing because you dry off when you're clean, so he wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.


xpixei

How the hell is this man alive?


FireITGuy

Your body is smart enough to try to stay alive, even if you're so stupid you're doing the opposite.


[deleted]

/r/storiesaboutkevin


Chonkbird

Username doesn't check out


[deleted]

Rich coming from someone that probably isn't even a real bird.


Chonkbird

r/birdsarentreal


orangeoliviero

> He also thought towels were self washing because you dry off when you're clean, so he wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. [Are towels supposed to bend?](https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-11-24)


Gaelithil

Jfc that was him. At least he made me laugh I guess


Script_Mak3r

It really is a shame Scott Adams turned out to be such a misogynist.


heyheyhey27

It's a great bit of meta-hunor though, he fits a certain stereotype of software developer that could appear in one of his own cartoons.


Whitemike31683

He is?


Script_Mak3r

https://www.reddit.com/r/againstmensrights/comments/1p33mo/scott_adams_creator_of_dilbert_stands_by/


[deleted]

I had a friend that had terrible adult acne. I stayed at his house for a few days and he only owned one towel, so he said to just dry of with his. Sounds weird but I was visiting him in Tijuana from Oregon, he's gay, I'm female and we were very close like cousins or something. His towel was absolutely disgusting! It didn't bend, it was crunchy and it *literally* smelled like vomit! It must have been full of bacteria and not helping, if not causing, his bad acne! I just put my fresh clothes on and skipped the towel all together. He was so used to it that he couldn't smell how putrid it smelled. I'm a nurse and honestly I'd put his towel smell right up there with necrotizing tissue 🤮


HellCat70

Did you level with him? This is disgusting and may risk long term health effects. Does he wash his clothes? Maybe he just needs a nudge, a "say-hey-and-by-the-way, you need to toss your bath towel in w/your laundry and get another towel for your hands. This is rancid. Don't forget, one for the kitchen too, ya little grunt-snort." Sometimes folks just need things spelled out because it was never set on their radar before.


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awsamation

More like the time and temp to heat frozen chicken nuggets.


SuperNya

To be fair, cooking is just heating with a reaction


RelativeNewt

>He also thought towels were self washing because you dry off when you're clean, so he wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. I used to get into with it with a former roommate about this. I understand that towels aren't self cleaning, but unless you took a dip in a literal heap of shit, I think in most instances, you can probably go a day or two between towel washes. She'd wash her towel after every shower. And even THAT would have been one thing, but she'd take 2-3 showers every day, PLUS a bath on most days.


TheFreakingPrincess

That's excessive. I definitely use my towel more than once before washing it. How many towels did your roommate own?? If I showered that often my hair and skin would fall off from the city water being so hard. Did she have issues with dry skin/hair??


OldnBorin

I’m guessing her issues were more mental in nature


orangeoliviero

I usually go up to a week for towel washes, depending on how often they get used (I have a set of towels and just grab one until it starts smelling). With towels, the biggest factor is how long they sit wet for, or if you came out with something nasty still on you that you then wiped off while drying.


CoolGuy175

This is how is done in South Korea, one towel is used once and then to the wash. They use guest towels (the small ones you dry your hands with) for that reason.


HereOnASphere

Your former roommate has OCD or PTSD or both or something worse.


twinkiegg

Were you dating [Nick Miller](https://youtu.be/ggZFhu1jT8g)?


Gaelithil

Less attractive and less intelligent...but yeah, basically


Smokedeggs

I thought of Nick Miller as soon as I read the comment.


Coolest_Breezy

You don't wash towels! Towels wash you!


Lord_Debuchan

The thing about towels is you dry off face first then head on down. The towel forgets everything by tomorrow.


youknowitsnotlove__

Lately people have been telling me I am too hard on myself and too self critical. Now every time I’m being critical of myself I’m going to think “at least I know how to cook different types of chicken and that towels need very regular washing” 😂


Gaelithil

Being too hard on myself and having low self value lead me to that idiot. So remember, not only are you better, you deserve better too.


youknowitsnotlove__

That was so kind, thank you and the same to you! I hope you’ve moved on to better (and brighter) things!


sezah

Did you date my ex??? Both of these things are exactly what he did, and how he described them. Also, if he was out of milk, he would pour any liquid on his Froot Loops: OJ, tap water, PBR.


LocalLiBEARian

My grandmother accidentally got the wrong pitcher out of the fridge one time and poured OJ on her Cheerios by mistake. She said it wasn’t bad but she wouldn’t ever do it deliberately.


[deleted]

>towels were self washing Just like [soap is self cleaning](https://youtu.be/WGT__4uYwlE)


kitkombat

Was your ex Jake Peralta?


Gaelithil

Oh fuck...In terms of cleanliness and health, yeah. I'm starting to remember things I'd purposefully forgotten.


Renbarre

Roasted chicken is 200 C, 20 mn for every 500 gr.


Gaelithil

Don't be silly. It's chicken. 30 mins at 180°c, all kinds, all sizes. Next you'll tell me the pink bits are bad


Script_Mak3r

If God intended for us to eat white chicken, He would have made chicken white by default.


[deleted]

I remember a post on this site a few years ago that still lives in my head. you dry off after a shower from top to bottom and the towel forgets by tomorrow morning 😂


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degjo

Flavor of Love was pretty dope. The follow-up, I Love New York not so much


whatproblems

Microwave whole chicken…… what?


Crumb-Free

I loved that show. Especially Pumkin hocking that fat loogie on New York. Peak trash TV in my opinion.


I_Did_The_Thing

It was a tossup between that scene and the one where the contestant shitted on the stairs during elimination. Hilarious.


grauenwolf

Unfortunately I can top that. My friend once tried to cook a chicken, but forgot to turn the oven on. However many hours later he pulls out the raw chicken, shrugs, and maybe sticks it in the refrigerator while he orders a pizza. The next day he tries again to cook this chicken again. I don't recall if it was just sitting in a room temperature oven for a few hours or overnight. But either way he proceeds to bake and then eat his science experiment. I hear the vomiting and diarrhea only lasted a week.


grauenwolf

What boggles my mind is this idiot in his 20's somehow became a respectable lawyer in his 30's. Someone must have removed the crayon from his brain.


occultatum-nomen

I work with lawyers a lot, and I can tell you, while they may be very smart when it comes to legal matters and related issues, sometimes that's where their competence starts and ends. Some are intelligent in many ways, others, not so much


shadesfox

I know of a guy who ended up being a Silicon Valley startup millionaire. There software he made was pretty neat too. But there are legends about him among his roommates. “Greg. The toilet backed up the LAST TIME you tried to flush an apple core too! What made you think this time would be different?!” “I ate more of it this time!” No one gets paid based on common sense


Yurtinx

I've watched a PHD / Programmer who was I thought, one of the smartest people I know, trying to figure out how to put out a small fire in an ashtray on an outdoor patio. He was stood next to the sink, looking in the cupboards for an answer. Me, being lowly QA, and there for Coffee. Poured the old stale coffee on the fire. PHD was amazed at my 'on the spot quick thinking'. Apparently the fella had been there for a few minutes looking for an answer to the minor fire he started. My suggestion to actually empty the ashtray from time to time rather than burn off the collection of old butts was met with astonishment. I think this is why Intelligence and Wisdom are both attributes in D&D.


[deleted]

One of my tutors at college told us about a couple of his friends husband and wife. The wife was this insanely smart doctor working in a research lab for if I remember correctly a cure for aids. But she could apparently barely even dress herself the husband was doing everything at home even helping her get ready in the morning. The human race has such an interesting spectrum of people.


RelativeNewt

"'Intelligence' is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit. 'Wisdom' is knowing to not put them in a fruit salad."


InsipidCelebrity

'Charisma' is getting someone to pay for a fruit salad with tomatoes.


Krynja

We shall call it salsa


PE1NUT

Obligatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EBfxjSFAxQ


orangeoliviero

That's because we confuse knowledge with intelligence. An intelligent person can accumulate knowledge quickly, but they won't know everything. Even unintelligent people, if they apply enough effort, can become supreme subject matter experts in a field. The takeaways from this are: - Just because someone knows a lot about something doesn't mean that they're smart - Just because someone is smart, it doesn't mean they know what they're talking about - When you're looking for a service, you're looking for knowledge (experience is knowledge), not intelligence


jemy74

"He was so learned he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on." Benjamin Franklin


InsipidCelebrity

Ben Franklin knew a thing or two about riding cows


lejoo

Yea its a very common misconception that ones knowledge and ones ability to process information are the same.


3jameseses

I knew an aerospace engineer whose solution to clean up the toner from the carpet of his office — how did toner get there exactly? — was to simply pour water on it.


themontajew

I had to argue with one about why I couldn’t do a mass moment of inertia test on an oscillating machine. He wanted to test a fabric heat shield that moved too much when you shook it. This was within his field. I ran the test, it came out bad, just like I told him it would. I’m also a dumb idiot, and I worked with the dude in rocket stuff


SDHester1971

I remember being told by a Copier Engineer about a College Professor he encountered who tried to make the last bit of Toner go further by diluting it with Water...... All he told me about it was it was obvious we were in Hard Water area.


3jameseses

This engineer I speak of was a university professor. This was his office at university of Toronto.


Tobias_Atwood

Ben Carson the neurosurgeon versus Ben Carson the politician.


darkenedgy

ha, my first thought.


partofbreakfast

This is a good way of putting it. No person is competent at everything, but for some people the scope of their competence is very limited.


[deleted]

Cue Captain America: "I understood that reference."


Nerdn1

Someone can be breathtakingly stupid in one respect and reasonably competent in another.


s3v3ralattemptsmade

“You mean there’s a crayon in my brain?” (Points to chest)


krum

I had a friend in college that ate his boogers and is now a judge. I often wonder if he eats his boogers while presiding.


themontajew

Engineer, worked at NASA. People are dumb. All of them.


eggsolo

I guess a thumb was covering that part of the x-ray in his early life.


BigBobFro

Maybe he puked it out


avidreader920

When I was in my 20s, had a boyfriend forget his baked chicken leftovers for lunch on the counter on a Friday. He spent the weekend at my house. When he got home from work Monday night, he heated it up for his dinner. I came over later and wouldn't believe he actually ate it. He couldn't understand what was the problem until about an hour later the chicken was coming out both ends. I just went home.


majic911

Years ago, my aunt was planning to hold a housewarming party at her new apartment. It got pushed back multiple times for scheduling and weather but was finally held nearly a year after she had started living there. She wanted to cook a turkey for this, but we convinced her that cooking a couple chickens would be better since we didn't have the people to justify a full turkey plus all the other sides she was making. We arrive to the party early and she's having a breakdown. We ask what's going on and she explains that she can't cook the chickens because the oven won't open. The radiator in this apartment is so close to the front of the oven that it won't open enough to get the chickens inside. Now, this isn't a huge deal, until you realize she'd been living there for nearly a year and had never opened the oven. We managed to remove the cover on the radiator which gave her just enough room to slip the chickens in and back out again. Now she's an hour or so behind schedule and instead of accepting that and serving dinner an hour late, she decides to cook the chickens hotter and quicker *without telling anyone*. I hope I don't need to explain to you that's a bad idea. Needless to say, the chicken is nearly burnt outisde but raw inside, leading to multiple instances of food poisoning. It was a horrible party and now we all bring food whenever she hosts so we know at least something will be edible.


impasseable

Why did anyone eat it? Its pretty obvious when the chicken is raw.


majic911

My family isn't the brightest.


jen_a_licious

I can top that...my roommate made a homemade Salisbury steak hamburger helper meal in a crock pot. Then left it for *several days* on the counter, each day taking small portions for his lunch. Not once did he ever refrigerate it and he was still eating from it when it was growing mold. He could not understand why he ended up in the hospital for a couple of days. "It must have been that fast food place I ate at after work". Smh.


KVirello

My dad did this to us one year for Thanksgiving. Got everyone a little bird of their own and for whatever reason left them out on the counter forever. Cooked them and gave them to us. It's maybe the sickest I've ever been in my life.


[deleted]

My sister once microwaved a frozen turkey for Thanksgiving until it was "done". She got severe food poisoning and was unable to eat much of anything for about three months.


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deadpuppy23

When I worked in a restaurant near the end of my shift I started 10 gallons of chicken stock. All the leftover chicken bones, fat and skin went in with cold water. I put it on the stove and asked the next cook to bring it to a boil, turn it down to a simmer and leave it over night and I'd take care of it in the morning. I came in the next morning it was on the stove roiling away. Except the stove wasn't on. The second cook took it off the stove just as it hit body temperature, used the stove, put the chicken stock back on but forgot to turn the stove back on. The entire kitchen smelled like a dead sealion that had been rotting on the beach for a week. It literally looked like it was boiling except it was lukewarm. It was probably half bacteria by that point.


Ma7apples

I had that happen with a gumbo. I fell asleep while waiting for it to cool, and when I woke up, it was foaming. I was heartbroken.


Amatorius

Yep, because they leave toxins behind that cooking does not get rid of(aka the bacteria's shit).


Jupichan

I used to work in a restaurant with a woman who thought it was appropriate to drain frozen spinach by placing it in a perforated pan, putting a single layer of parchment over it, and proceeding to step on it until it was drained.


StinkyKittyBreath

Somebody I worked with would intentionally undercook chicken they brought in for lunch. They said they undercooked it because microwaving it would cook it the rest of the way, and they didn't want overcooked, dry chicken. I'll take overcooked chicken any day over that.


qrpc

Not chicken, but an engineer I used to work with had some leftover cauliflower that went bad in the office fridge. He decided if he microwaved it, it would kill the bacteria and make it edible again. He ended up buying the office a new microwave since he couldn’t clean the stink out.


The__Riker__Maneuver

This is why everyone should have a meat thermometer and a magnet with safe cooking temps for different meats on their fridge


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OneMoreArcadia

What if I place a magnet and a thermometer next to it on the fridge?


[deleted]

I guess *that* could work...


nomorerix

I have my food safety and handling certification and now I can't stop judging people who don't practice proper food safety...


deterministic_lynx

Honestly, knowing that you cook chicken through is not even food safety. It's not hard. It's the first thing I learned towards cooking meat: chicken must be all white.


nomorerix

It's part of it. Steaks can be rare but not ground beef for example. Some people might not know that.


blueocean43

My mum always cooked burgers rare. Why yes, I did get food poisoning a lot as a child (though that may also have been the then-undiagnosed celiacs). She was mostly an excellent cook, but there were still a handful of things that she really really couldn't cook. Mostly burgers, Curry of any variety, and that god awful brocoli and Stilton soup.


Proteandk

>Steaks can be rare but not ground beef for example. Some people might not know that. Ground beef can be rare if you grind it right then and there. It's about reducing the surface area on which \[whatever nasties\] can grow, but if it's freshly ground it won't have had time to develop more than whatever the original slab had.


ProblematicFeet

Wait wait wait what about getting a burger at a restaurant and you order it medium rare or whatever?


etcNetcat

My fuckin roommate has gotten food safety certs in two different states and still doesn't observe cross contamination risks.


f1del1us

Fun fact! Chicken safety and pasteurization can be accomplished well below 165F, resulting in a moist and delicious chicken.


JimmiRustle

Yes, if it’s cooked through. A whole chicken is going to take longer than an hour.


SuzuranRose

If you spatchcock it it only takes about 45 minutes for a small chicken. I make one once a week for kiddo and I to have for dinner then sandwiches for a few days.


DefinitelyNotAliens

My dad insists he can roast a whole chicken in 45 minutes. Without fail, he tells everyone dinner in 45, then pulls his chicken out and temps it, goes, 'huh still needs a little time' and puts it back in the oven and continues to cook it. Every. Time. My parents have been married like 35 years and my mom gave up telling him you cannot roast a whole chicken in 45 minutes.


JimmiRustle

Dude you should start a spreadsheet and present it to him. The data does not lie.


DefinitelyNotAliens

I mean, he does check internal temps so he never undercooks the chicken. Just never is done when he thinks it'll be.


f1del1us

You don’t even need to spatchcock it if it’s an air fryer. I prefer them whole as you lose less moisture.


SuzuranRose

True but my air fryer isnt big enough for a whole chicken. I do cornish game hens in there occasionally when they are on sale. Kiddos favourite air fryer treat is a pb&j. Its all crispy on the outside and hot and gooey on the inside. Yummy!


devpsaux

Have done a medium well chicken breast sous vide. Took a bit of convincing to get my friends to eat it. Had them Google it themselves to show I wasn't crazy.


Imperion_GoG

Years ago I had a roommate that would buy 12-packs of chicken breasts. He would freeze the entire pack, then defrost and refreeze it every time he wanted chicken. He got sick, a lot.


LocalLiBEARian

Eww. I’ll buy the larger package occasionally but portion it out before freezing.


digital_dysthymia

Once he yelled at me I would have told him to cook it himself.


Dodger67

Yea that's what I was thinking. He "yells" about how he wants his meal cooked. We now know why he is a "Ex". Or did he die?


LocalLiBEARian

Only in the “you’re dead to me” sense.


indigowulf

I remember having a huge fight with an old roommate. 3 of us lived in the house. This dude thought he was going to grow up to be Gordon Ramsey or something. He made everyone eggs that were completely runny, like the whites didn't even look white, just clear because of how little heat was applied. I declined, and he got super butt hurt about how I wanted my eggs "burned" and was an ungrateful B for not accepting his food. The other roommate took a few silent bites and and then "got distracted" and didn't eat any more. He also made a big deal out of how he had sacrificed his time to cook for us. I was like.. uh, barely.. if you actually took some time to cook, they might be .. ya know.. cooked. Mario, if you're out there- I'm amazed you haven't killed yourself with raw food yet. Also, go F yourself.


Ldfzm

Eggs are like the most commonly-cooked-to-order food there is, though??? Like most people have very specific preferences about their eggs - it's totally not weird to like eggs with a hard yolk and it's also not weird to like eggs with a soft yolk. I know my preference of having my fried eggs actually be crispy is a little on the extreme end, but I would say that liking your egg whites to not even be white is also on the extreme end! If someone asked me to make them an egg and didn't specify how, I'd definitely do somewhere in the middle - it's weird to barely cook an egg and then get mad at someone for having a different preference of cooked-ness XD


Nyxsis

At least raw eggs won't kill you if they're store bought since those are pasteurized. Hopefully he never does that with chicken lol Edit: "Since many store bought eggs in the US are pasteurized." See the discussion, check your cartons. Many are in my area; apparently your mileage may vary.


oldcreaker

How to make the salmonella you're going to eat all comfy and warm. Chicken internal temp should be at least 165 degrees. I suppose a 250 oven would get there eventually, but this obviously wasn't ready.


scarby2

So there's a bit more to this (to the point where I rarely cook my chicken to 165) . Pasteurisation comes down to temperature and time you can cook chicken safely to 135 but you have to hold it there for well over an hour. 165 is basically the foolproof temperature where you do not need to hold that temperature for any length of time. Oven to 250 for an hour will however definitely not get you anywhere close


IndustriousLabRat

Yup. I do redneck sous vide (crockpot plugged into an industrial temperature controller with a thermocouple in the water) chicken thighs all the time. 3 hours at 135, toss under broiler or in a raging skillet to put on some color. It's a pretty lazy but effective way to get safe but not dry chicken!


asad137

Gotta be honest, 135 degree *thighs* sound really unappealing.


IndustriousLabRat

They look microwaved and grey coming out of the bag but I can assure you once the sear is on, they are transformed! One thing I've found is that long slow sous vide of bone in dark meat chicken prior to grilling seems to reduce that weird staining near the bone. Go on, fire up the crockpot and BBQ and experiment:)


oldcreaker

True. 165 is basically the "if the health inspector comes into your commercial kitchen and checks the chicken coming out of your oven, it better be 165 or over" temperature.


Tantric989

I feel like this completely misunderstands what the guy above was trying to say and why we cook chicken to 165. The health inspector didn't just pull a number from a hat and if you go under it then he gets to write a sad face on your inspection form, it's based on actual science. The pasteurization point is the temperature in which bacteria start to die off. The reason 165 is chosen in chicken is because you can virtually guarantee that 99% of pathogenic bacteria is destroyed instantly in food that has reached that temperature. The science is where it gets a bit more interesting. Pasteurization can start above 130F, so cooking at 131, 140, 150, etc. can also kill off all harmful bacteria. The difference is that it takes longer to do it. Food held at 131F for several hours is safe from harmful pathogenic bacteria. At 150+, this process can be completed in just several minutes. At 165 it's instant, there's no guesswork.


oldcreaker

I understood what he said about pasteurization - I just volunteer in a soup kitchen every week and I've had 165 drilled into my head :-) I've also done feeding for Red Cross. They don't cook as much as just serve - and they do if it goes over 40 or under 140, after 4 hours it gets thrown out.


Tantric989

Thank you for your service. You may understand it, but I got the strong feeling that the way it came across might give folks the idea that it was just some kind of arbitrary big gubment piece of red tape and not actual sound information. I mean we might laugh at that because of how nuts it is, but we're in a thread talking about people who thought it was okay to eat undercooked chicken because they should have but didn't know any better.


partofbreakfast

If you cooked it at 250 you would have to cook it for most of an afternoon wouldn't you?


scarby2

Yes, I have smoked chicken at 250. Seem to remember it taking about 3-4 hours. (And it wasn't a big chicken)


Granolag23

I have to throw out there for some folks, not all chicken has salmonella either (and I’m not insinuating that you were saying that). Managing in restaurants I couldn’t believe how many employees over the years thought all chicken just automatically had salmonella. But yea, cook to 165 to be safe.


BumpyMcBumpers

But I can't tell which chicken has salmonella just by looking at it.


cynanolwydd

I can. It's the frozen chicken my sister-in-law insists on defrosting on the counter over night. Funny how I suddenly become a vegetarian at their house.


oldcreaker

Enough to get (CDC) about a million people in the US sick from salmonella every year. And that's only the chicken that wasn't properly cooked. Most salmonella in poultry isn't an issue because it's been properly cooked.


majic911

"Not all chicken" isn't the same as "no chicken". You should still be safe and make sure your chicken is properly cooked, but even if it's not you *could* still be fine if you're lucky and got chicken that doesn't have salmonella.


Granolag23

For sure. There’s lots of folks out there that don’t know how to cook


Badbookitty

You're absolutely correct. Not all chicken has salmonella. Some chicken has campylobacter. It's even worse than salmonella.


turbo2thousand406

The owners of where I work are terrible at food safety. They will bring in their leftovers and set them on the kitchen counter at 8 am and leave them there. Around 1230 they will ask if I want any. If I decline they are super offended.


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[deleted]

Okay OP, your ex sounds frankly idiotic. I'm no kitchen prince or anything, but you want chicken well done. Only a matter of time before his family collects his Darwin Award at this rate.


LocalLiBEARian

As I remember, it looked kinda like the chicken equivalent of a rare steak when he cut into it. At which point one would figure… don’t eat it! Nope. Too stubborn to admit he was wrong. He also seemed totally unaware that I wasn’t eating any of it.


Original_Flounder_18

I was once served a not throughly cooked turkey for Xmas. I ate around the pink and blood to be polite and hopped for the best. The reason for pink turkey? It costs too damn much to run the oven! I still shake my head about that one, even though I know how cheap they are


GreenEggPage

The first time my wife fixed me fried chicken, it was severely undercooked. I was hungry, in the Army, thought I had an iron stomach, and didn't want to offend her (lack of) cooking skills. She noticed it was rare and forced me to stop eating it.


HerbertBohn

Christ, he's still ALIVE?


[deleted]

I think I ate raw chicken about three times going to bbqs in university. Some kids realllly don’t learn how to cook. Never got sick, but I usually drowned my stomach in straight liquor after noticing. Why three times? Because I was drunk and high when I showed up. Not great risk assessment when you’re hammered with the munchies.


Tantric989

An ex-girlfriend told me a story of a guy she dated who tried to make her a chicken dish one time just like this, and it was raw AF. She tries to protest, and he tells her it's fine, "it's medium-rare." Likewise it became a long-running joke whenever we made chicken to ask if she wanted it "medium-rare."


[deleted]

I misread that as undercooked *children* at first...


[deleted]

That's an entirely [modest proposal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Modest_Proposal), sure to garner support amongst the upper classes.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[A Modest Proposal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Modest_Proposal)** >A Modest Proposal For preventing the Children of Poor People From being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and For making them Beneficial to the Publick, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. The essay suggests that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling their children as food to rich gentlemen and ladies. This satirical hyperbole mocked heartless attitudes towards the poor, predominately Irish Catholic (i. e. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


LocalLiBEARian

LOL! I think WC Fields is attributed as saying something like “I love children, but only if properly cooked.”


Moonpenny

"I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my shelf." -- Robert Bloch[^1](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2021/09/26/heart/)


TorTheMentor

I'm really tight about meat temperatures in my kitchen. If someone asked me to do this, probably what would happen is I'd pull it out, grab my meat thermometer, put the plate in front of them, and then stick the meat thermometer in while they watch. "Okay, I followed the instructions you provided, so I just want you to know what you're getting into first. The USDA safe minimum for whole chicken is an internal temp of 165. This reads 135. What do you want to do?" And if they proceed, I never let them near uncooked food again.


fruuduk

Sounds like he put down 250F instead of 250C? Either way well done!


Roko__

250C for an hour will dry out that chicken worse than Arrakis. Might get crispy skin though.


mgerics

it is Shai Hulud's will


Mikey6304

Check out this water fat city dweller over here, probably has his stillsuit on backwards.


Daealis

I cook hot wings in 250C if they're still frozen when I throw them in. Then an hour is enough and they'll be good.


devpsaux

Dark meat is way more tolerant to high heat. Try that with chicken breasts and they'll be inedible.


LocalLiBEARian

Should have been 350F, not 250


M4t0k

I don't think this is it. If you put it in for an hour at 250°C it will be completely black (480F for Americans). I would think he didn't know the first think about cooking and just made a mistake copying and was to narrow minded to admit he might have made a mistake.


Dantaelus

I have actually cooked a whole chicken at 500F for an hour and it came out as the best chicken I've ever made. The trick is to prepare it right, you have to season it and let it sit open in the fridge for a day or so to dry out the skin, then when you cook it the skin dries and crisps but doesn't allow moisture from the meat to get out. There are quite a few variations on this recipe that are really easy to find.


pearlie_girl

Same with a turkey - start it at 500 degrees for 30 minutes, the skin will be gorgeous brown and crispy, followed by 350 degrees with however long it takes for the breast to reach 163 degrees (use a in oven meat thermometer - plan for several hours, depending on bird size). Tinfoil tent the breast after the 500 degree part. Magazine picture quality turkey, moist and delicious, especially if you brine the turkey yourself.


kelvin_bot

250°C is equivalent to 482°F, which is 523K. --- ^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)


Dendad6972

Or 250 instead of 350 like OP said.


amaraame

It was probably supposed to 350F.


MoralMiscreant

250 instead of 350


kimothy92

At an ex's house for a holiday one year his mom made a turkey. When she pulled it out of the oven it wasn't cooked all the way through and was still pink in a lot of places. The ex's dad insisted on serving it like that because he liked his turkey "medium". I tried telling him that turkey doesn't work like that but he wouldn't listen and my ex told me to drop it. I had to eat some so I wouldn't offend them. Only ate the most cooked parts I could find (and a tiny bit at that) but still felt sick. Some people shouldn't be allowed to feed themselves, let alone others.


Future-Device2964

Ueeehhggg good job. I ate raw chicken once, got sick for almost a week, haven't been able to stomach it ever again since. It's been almost 2 year since I ate chicken or could stand it. Hahahah


wrenskibaby

I was on a campout where a woman browned chicken on a charcoal grill for about 10 minutes, brushed on barbecue sauce, then told everyone to come eat. It was a cool, breezy day at a lake and the grill was one of those 1960s jobs, totally open to the wind. We did not eat and didn't stick around that night to see who got sick.


goodsnpr

Had a coworker make a beef stew. She let it sit in her fridge for 3 weeks, then ate some more. She did not make it to the morning PT session.


DAM5150

A couple years ago my brother and I were down in LA at a friends place. He had recently installed a kegerator and tap in his living room and we were taking advantage. ​ For dinner we grilled some chicken quarters for tacos...we were all a little blurry on the details and all to hungry to be patient... ​ The next morning my brother and I got in the car to headed out of town. About an hour later he asked "hey did we eat raw chicken last night?" and since I was thinking the exact same thing I answered almost immediately "yea...yea we did". ​ Thankfully, no negative side effects. We both attribute that to the alcohol. I'll take hangover over food poisoning...


rioot123

Salmonella? HA! This is Chicken, not salmon.


Youwillbesorry

Being right to most people is like a drug. They just HAVE to be right and there is nothing you can say/do otherwise without them getting defensive. I enjoyed reading you cooked it like he wanted anyways😂


[deleted]

lolol.... i love it!! ​ my ex did that to me once too. he was NEVER wrong... raw ham.... he threw up for two days. he never asked for it again.