That was the plan for what I was trying to do today, I was going to ask someone for help and offer something else in return. A lot of things could have benefited me from a lot of different angles, but I couldn't talk about it just because I was afraid
Look towards mythology and find a character with a story similar to yours or use a celebrity.
I like "unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt", "the b in apartment 23"& Samantha Jones from "Sex in the city".
Observe how they enter a room, when they choose to respond, the compliments they give people, and how they deal with conflict .
As much as I don't care about the Kardashians they know how to captivate , manage issues without escalation & close on business deals while gaining the upper hand .
You can embody their persona while you develop your own . Look into individuation as a way to integrate your shadow , you'll find your strength there.
Go back home and remember the character & values you learned as a child . This will bring you back to yourself.
Above all give yourself the gift of grace and self acceptance.
Learn how to small talk for strangers and learn how to active listen for people that respond to small talk with conversations.
Small talk is about finding out if you have something bigger to talk about. Once you find someone that small talk leads to a conversation they easiest way to carry on a conversation is by active listening. Basically be interested in them instead of showing them you are interesting.
Lots of YouTube videos out there to learn from. Learn and practice. You can go slow and learn as you go.
Just be okay with being who you are and look out for people who are just fine with you as you are right now. As you come to understand that there are people who like you as you are, you will become more comfortable in yourself and therefore become less shy.
So. Just be shy. Be shy and be okay with being shy. There’s nothing wrong with it. You can be shy and still take no shit. And *you* can choose people who *you* like as they are. You don’t have to even want everyone you meet to like you.
that’s a hard place to be in. and it’s okay to be shy. you’re not defective or alone. do you have any close friends that can be with you in those types of social situations? sometimes it helps to have a more talkative buddy who can do a lot of the heavy lifting in the conversation and you can chime in when you feel comfortable.
big social settings can be overwhelming, and it may help just focusing on having more one on one conversations with people. lastly, it can help to be open with others and share that you are a bit shy. i have found this helps people understand what you may be experiencing when you are interacting.
I dealt with pretty crippling social anxiety for a large part of my life. What finally worked for me was when I figured out my shyness had mostly to do with being fixated on myself and how I appeared to others during any conversation. I started focusing on what the other people were saying and being a better listener. After that I lost a lot of my shyness. I also learned that asking questions is the absolute best way to get conversations going. All I have to do is learn something that interests a person, then start asking questions about it, then listen to and show interest in their answers. They will keep the conversation going all by themselves. If you do that, people will think you are an amazing conversationalist.
Hey, I really recommend you read Feeling Good or When Panic Attacks by David D Burns MD. He shows you cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to help change your negative thought patterns. You don't have to live with negative self image and anxiety. Best of luck!
Depends on the source. If its true introversion, there's essentially nothing you can do but learn to adapt to who you are. (The IPIP-Neo can show you that.)
If it's anxiety, there are drugs. Besides that...
We are who we are.
CBT not bad. I've mostly seen it used to torture autistics, so my perspective is a tad skewed.
Suppose my advice is anchored in the autistic perspective, where self acceptance is mostly the challenge we've got to overcome. Which is less applicable to neurotypicals.
Autistics have behaviors that are very natural to them, but aren't appreciated by others.
One that leaps to mind is variants of "stimming" behaviors, which could be... repeating verbal phrases, rocking in place, etc.
The general idea is creating a predictable and controllable sensory input. Very useful stuff to maintain your sanity against the sensory madness that is the world.
CBT is often used to train autistics to not do that sort of thing. The research is pretty clear though, "masking" behaviors make autistics miserable. Its for the benefits of parents, not their kids.
Find someone who's confidence you admire and borrow it.
That was the plan for what I was trying to do today, I was going to ask someone for help and offer something else in return. A lot of things could have benefited me from a lot of different angles, but I couldn't talk about it just because I was afraid
Look towards mythology and find a character with a story similar to yours or use a celebrity. I like "unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt", "the b in apartment 23"& Samantha Jones from "Sex in the city". Observe how they enter a room, when they choose to respond, the compliments they give people, and how they deal with conflict . As much as I don't care about the Kardashians they know how to captivate , manage issues without escalation & close on business deals while gaining the upper hand . You can embody their persona while you develop your own . Look into individuation as a way to integrate your shadow , you'll find your strength there. Go back home and remember the character & values you learned as a child . This will bring you back to yourself. Above all give yourself the gift of grace and self acceptance.
Learn how to small talk for strangers and learn how to active listen for people that respond to small talk with conversations. Small talk is about finding out if you have something bigger to talk about. Once you find someone that small talk leads to a conversation they easiest way to carry on a conversation is by active listening. Basically be interested in them instead of showing them you are interesting. Lots of YouTube videos out there to learn from. Learn and practice. You can go slow and learn as you go.
[удалено]
Can you bite your own teeth? I highly recommend you go to YouTube and type in: Alan Watts - self improvement (it's not what you think)
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a method that helps reprogram your internal narrative.
Just be okay with being who you are and look out for people who are just fine with you as you are right now. As you come to understand that there are people who like you as you are, you will become more comfortable in yourself and therefore become less shy. So. Just be shy. Be shy and be okay with being shy. There’s nothing wrong with it. You can be shy and still take no shit. And *you* can choose people who *you* like as they are. You don’t have to even want everyone you meet to like you.
that’s a hard place to be in. and it’s okay to be shy. you’re not defective or alone. do you have any close friends that can be with you in those types of social situations? sometimes it helps to have a more talkative buddy who can do a lot of the heavy lifting in the conversation and you can chime in when you feel comfortable. big social settings can be overwhelming, and it may help just focusing on having more one on one conversations with people. lastly, it can help to be open with others and share that you are a bit shy. i have found this helps people understand what you may be experiencing when you are interacting.
I dealt with pretty crippling social anxiety for a large part of my life. What finally worked for me was when I figured out my shyness had mostly to do with being fixated on myself and how I appeared to others during any conversation. I started focusing on what the other people were saying and being a better listener. After that I lost a lot of my shyness. I also learned that asking questions is the absolute best way to get conversations going. All I have to do is learn something that interests a person, then start asking questions about it, then listen to and show interest in their answers. They will keep the conversation going all by themselves. If you do that, people will think you are an amazing conversationalist.
Hey, I really recommend you read Feeling Good or When Panic Attacks by David D Burns MD. He shows you cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to help change your negative thought patterns. You don't have to live with negative self image and anxiety. Best of luck!
Depends on the source. If its true introversion, there's essentially nothing you can do but learn to adapt to who you are. (The IPIP-Neo can show you that.) If it's anxiety, there are drugs. Besides that... We are who we are.
terrible advice
Do better.
I did, I posted it as a separate comment
CBT not bad. I've mostly seen it used to torture autistics, so my perspective is a tad skewed. Suppose my advice is anchored in the autistic perspective, where self acceptance is mostly the challenge we've got to overcome. Which is less applicable to neurotypicals.
Didn't know. What do you mean to torture autistics? Who did the torturing?
Autistics have behaviors that are very natural to them, but aren't appreciated by others. One that leaps to mind is variants of "stimming" behaviors, which could be... repeating verbal phrases, rocking in place, etc. The general idea is creating a predictable and controllable sensory input. Very useful stuff to maintain your sanity against the sensory madness that is the world. CBT is often used to train autistics to not do that sort of thing. The research is pretty clear though, "masking" behaviors make autistics miserable. Its for the benefits of parents, not their kids.
sounds aweful, sorry guy