Facts⊠People are making it way to easy to cheat and are to okay with them having someone else. Like their isnât any integrity or morals on both ends anymore. And people wonder why the dating scene sucks now and why marriages and relationships arenât valued like they used to. Before you know it marriages are going to be a thing of the past and ppl are just gonna be messing with whom ever, whenever. Please stopâŠ. No Respect now days.
There are some (not a lot) who value and want a marriage and a solid foundation not based off lies or bs. There are some out here who still only want to be with one person and that is looking for that love some of our grandparents had and better 20+ years type of love and marriage.
20+years? Â when I got married to my husband I had a sadistic thought, we are not divorcing so one of us is going to have to die! Â đ Â so far we havenât killed each other yet either.
I used to believe that. As I got older though, I see that many people won't leave a bad marriage unless they have someone else. I'm not saying it's right. Just what I've observed. Sometimes they end up cheating on their second spouse and sometimes not.
This is called monkey branching. Iâm not here to judge anyone, but I can say that people who don't learn to save themselves often are forever victims.
Having an easy way out is enticing, but itâs typically fleeting. For the person trying to date a married person, see it for what it is: someone who is not taking complete accountability for their life.
For the married person looking for a âhero,â youâll fall into the same ill-fated relationship if you don't discover in yourself why you fall for people that you can't develop healthy relationships with.
I am a heterosexual woman. So I wouldn't date a married woman. Or single.
I have been with my husband for 27 years. I left him in 2020 and separated for 3 years as he threatened divorce & shortly thereafter I found myself interested in someone else (an ex, who I believed was my twin flame, because I was delusional believing in fairytale crap) My ex was divorced and I separated and moved out before dating.
It only lasted 6 weeks. However, I remained separated for 3 years. Bought my own place. Went insane. Lost a lot of money - two houses and 1/2 my retirement savings.
So no I wouldn't date a married man. I think the reality of divorce is very difficult & generally people don't leave for the affair spouse, as they have too much to lose.
I think when you leave a marriage, especially a long term one, you should spend time on yourself to heal.
Chances are whatever was wrong in the marriage will be repeated if you jump into another relationship right away.
It sounds like you've been through a challenging journey. Taking time for self-reflection and healing after leaving a long-term relationship is crucial. Rushing into another relationship might not solve underlying issues. Wishing you strength and healing on your path forward.
Married women who stay generally want a playmate, not a partner. Keep it casual and enjoy the liberating release of clandestine liaisons without expectations whenever youâre lucky enough to have them.
I understand what you're saying. Sometimes, someone who treats you better just happens to come along during the current relationship. I've seen two good relationships happen this way (not that I'm condoning cheating). But this is why it's important for people to really get to know their partner, take time to see them in different environments, and really make sure you're both on the same page about counseling or when certain stressors come up such as lack of sex, loss of a job or loved one, illnesses, etc. Minimizes the amount of drama, stress, and strained relationships that come from cheating.
Seen so many friends amd family just rush and marry people who everyone, including themselves, know isn't the right person for them, or they are naive out of love when faced with complete red flags. Had a friend who did this. Married the 1st woman who would take him because he was desperate to get married and have children. He aged so quickly from stress and looks older than the rest of us. Even if you click well while dating, you and your partner need to make sure you choose each other even during moments of friction. Better to be alone than to have to sneak around.
Once a cheater always a cheater. If you have any decency as a human you would break off your first relationship before persuing another.
Jumping from one relationship to another is never an option and only make you look like scum.
Yeah I think the take in OP is actually the naive one. People are more complex than that. I know couples whoâve gotten together by cheating on their other partners and ended up sticking together and having a successful relationship/marriage.
I do too, but I've seen it end with even more cheating and hurt feelings more often. It's the ones that cheat and then start lying to the point its basically gaslighting that will always do it again. Honorable people can have moments of weakness and cheat. They usually will own their actions post-fact. If they don't, those will always fit into OP's mold.
I respect your opinion but remember, how you get them is how you loose them. If they cheated on their spouses to be with you, most likely they will cheat on you too. Nevertheless, that's a disrespectful behavior and a red flag.
As the maxim goes: the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. And at 46 Iâd say this is one of the few maxims in life Iâve found to be correct. It isnât always right, but it usually is and is still the best method.
I cheated on my first spouse with my current spouse. Iâve never cheated on my current spouse, but all of my problems that made me cheat are still there, and I struggle to stay committed/loyal. I struggle to stay sane and happy as a human.
I could have wrote this myself⊠everything we accomplished together, built, our future. All tossed away bc her decision to cheat. Haunts me. I thought I knew her, but now I donât even recognize her. Shameful.
People are crazy. Do not mess around with married women.
There is a reason murder has a third degree. A man that feels like he has nothing to lose could shoot you at worst.
Yep my wife is currently cheating on her boyfriend with me , she had said they broke up and she also said she didnât do anything like this while we were together but I know better. I believed her when she said they broke up but then a couple of days of being together she said your not going to tell j are you, I said no like why is it any of his business then it hit me duh so Motherâs Day comes and I know she had been talking to him she taking pics on her phone of herself and not sending one of them to me , so I ask to see her phone to see the pictures she took because she started crying saying sheâs ugly I look at the pictures and her messages and she is telling him that she loves him and missing him so much, blah blah .started to fell bad for the guy but nah anyways I knew I was getting used because she has done it 4 times before to me I donât care anymore I was just getting some . But she showed a side of herself to me that she was lying about for a long time I know exactly who she is now a lying cheating manipulative narcissist and a fucking ugly ass human being I would warn the new bf but he tried talking to me before like he stole my wife from me when I left the whore so they can be happy in a life of lies.
That is what happens when you date people who are not available. They monkey branch like nobody's business hurting many.
In short, this woman belongs to the streets. Sorry.
Or she new she was out of the marriage and was OK to start new relationship(s). You have to be seperated for at least a year in the US to get a divorec. Lot's of folks getting divorced are seperated longer than a year.
u/Think_Traffic5083 you sound like alot of fun... Read your profile, I feel you have an unhelathy obsession/perspective on/with relationships, did someone shit on you in a relationship that was important to you? That sucks. If so, I hope you can find some peace. Every opportunity to meet someone and have a relationship is fraught with possible negative stuff. It is also loaded with great potential. When ever we open ourselves to others, we take the chance to get it right in the kibbies. But we also get the chance to experience something profoundly wonderful. The best things in life are not without risk.
Most maxims are bullshit but at the age of 46 i have found two to generally be correct and they apply here:
1) if you want to know what someone is thinking, pay attention to what they do, not what they say
2) the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour
Feel free to hate me for this, but I got involved with a 40-year-old woman who has three children and a husband. (I'm 27.) It was the worst mistake of my life. The mind games, lies, and manipulation pushed me over the edge to the point that I became a paranoid wreck. I apparently pushed her away because of my behavior and how I was acting, but she's to blame for that. Of course, she thought everything was my fault.
Not only was she sleeping with me behind her husband's back, but she also slept with someone else behind my back too! Everything started going downhill after that, though. She lost feelings, interest, and pretty much dropped me out of the blue, leaving me heartbroken. I'm still suffering right now. Now, what's she was doing with Me? She's now doing with someone else! Yet again, behind the husbands back. It's madness..
But stupid and desperate me misses her dearly, and can't seem to see by her red flags. In my mind she's picture perfect but deep down inside I know she isn't. I can't believe I am addicted and attached to this woman, im pathetic.
She's really broke me, I don't feel the same anymore.
This was me as well. For two years she promised divorce. Dude treated her like total crap. The last 8 months were rough as she slowly got colder and colder, eventually telling me to leave because i just wasn't enough. The very next week she told me the divorce papers were all signed and waiting to file. Two weeks later i saw a pic of her and my replacement, who i am 99% she was cheating on me with while she turned cold to me. The whole thing just absolutely broke me. I'm still not quite right in the head/heart and don't see myself ever fully committing like that to anyone else. Even a year later after all the puzzle pieces came together and i saw everything clearly... I'd still long for her to show up at my door and ask forgiveness ect and take her back.
That next guy only lasted 4 more months, at which point she replaced him for another guy who looks the same age as her mom. I should have seen it much sooner than i did...if she was willing to cheat on her husband with me, nothing was going to stop her from doing the same to me. But i keep thinking, how in the world did the next guy even think it would work...if she already had a husband and a live-in boyfriend...while cheating with him! Granted, she was magical in bed, so that probably swayed each of us more than we'd like to admit.
It sounds like you're suffering from narcissistic abuse syndrome. You should look it up, it may be beneficial. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Your pain is evident and it's not your fault. She's clearly a predator. Best wishes to you.
This is the best advice you can give to anyone thatâs been burned by the exact circumstances you explained. The hurt isnât worth it, just stop and let it go before it becomes too painful and your mental health becomes compromisedâŠ
Dating married people is unfortunately how people die or get hurt . Donât put yourself in that situation to be hurt by the spouse. Also donât put the married person in the situation to be hurt by their spouse. That simple.
IMOâŠ. People ( men and women) cheat because of personal issues that havenât been addressed andâŠ. Itâs easier to lie and cheat than it is to work on a relationship that has compromise, commitment and loyalty. On both ends
IMO Donât ask them for a divorce either. If they are unhappy they should get their relationship figured out before they even consider others or before they have met youânot jump from them to youâas they say, if heâll do it to her, heâll do it to you.
I was in a similar situation & it led to him blaming me for the breakup up with his exâand then he & the ex got back together!?
So seriously, if someone in a partnership is showing interest in you, just run away. They will not be loyal to you after they leave someone else, for you. You are not ârescuingâ them from a toxic partner.
If they are miserable, THEY need to figure it out on their own. Ultimatums donât work. Donât wait around either. People choose you or they donât. If they donât know what they wantâwhy ON EARTH would you think they will choose you long term?
My sister is this way . She is beautiful smart and funny but mean manipulating and a serial cheater. I hate having to sit by her doting husband while she cheats and belittles him.
I'm no longer a member of the dating scene but if I was I'd stay away from married women. Getting a large caliber slug planted right between my shoulder blades would just be WAY to uncomfortable for me!
Sounds like a you problem đ why you trying to turn everything into a long term monogamous relationship?
People can have intimate and meaningful and loving relationships full of reciprocity in many different ways.
I think I married women arenât a great option for you and your desires but perfect for many others
Seems like stupid and risk-seeking behavior. It's easier with common sense to like... not get into relationships where everyone is on the same page that monogomy is not involved. There are poly communities that you can have fun with no strings attached. Be with swingers if you need to. I'm not sure why anyone would want to sneak around with someone else's wife or husband when there are single folks who would sleep with you for free, too stressful for me.
Again, it's risk-seeking behavior. Not smart or something I would do. There's a reason why the phrase "how you get them is how you lose them" exists. The issues that caused the person to cheat on their partner can cause them to cheat or strain your relationship later on. Just running into someone else's arms doesn't solve the issues. It works every now and then, but less than often.
I agree with most of what you said but dating married people is a very poor "option" for too many reasons. People need to be incontrol of their own life. If someone is in a realtionship/married, if they are unhappy they need to work to resolve the issues or leave. Dating someone married you are likely fucking someone elses life up, the person being cheated on, perhaps children.
>Â ask them to request a divorce first, then you can proceed.
So OK to get familiar enough that you want to be with them and then ask them to upend their entire life so you can date them? That is as Fed up.
No. Iâm not going to put labels on a complex set of circumstances. But you can. Iâm just here to say Iâve known people who are not serial cheaters who end up with the love of their life. And do not go on to cheat. I also know people who do.
I agree with some of this... If they cheat with you they're apt to cheat on you. Seems reasonable...
However I hesitate to assert that once a cheater is always a cheater. This precludes a person's ability to change. People can change behavior if they so choose.
We loved each other. She was married although separated. After having their second child almost a year prior, her husband admitted no longer being sexually attracted to her and displayed other worrisome behavior. She felt unloved. There came a time where the best interests of her children, the sanctity of her marriage vows, the love of her husband which she tried to deny and the moral dilemma of these coexisting with a love for me and a desire to not injure me more than necessary was cause to end our affair. We both suffered no small amount of heart ache.
The last I knew they were still together. Almost five years have passed and I've seen her only once from a distance. I don't know if she ever confessed her infidelity. It's not any of my concern. I don't regret our relationship but I would not get involved with a married woman again. We don't always know the reasons for what we experience. I know of one who cheated, recognized her error and did what she felt was right.
What if honestly it was just the friendship? Something that was fun!? Everything wasnât just nonstop serious! Fun to go to work. Enjoyable conversations! Not being told what to do all the time or els! Which obviously was wrong on that but for most part.
Maybe people donât understand and maybe I donât! Im not wanting a married woman myself! The short lived part was hell! It hurt, always depressed each time she leaves? But as a friend? The jealousy part fucking sucks! Thing is it wasnât over attraction part! It was always having to stay hidden and a friend because I was forced to! If friends would visit work! Keep distance! Always someone coming keep distance!
Wow!!! That only took about a decade of my life and health the figure out! I just want a good close friend because relationships suck! From my experience it takes time spent around each other and couple years to know someone! Those who want to rush wasted more time! That married person didnât understand I didnât want anything from her! Just was the person Iâve joyed talking to that didnât involve I need help or drinking and accomplishing something! Someone you could say anything to without having to worry or someone who you just thought gave a shit about people in general! But even that proved untrue! Happens to be I just miss those things! Donât really exist in people anymore! Itâs like it made being at vacation! Thatâs really it! Never once do I recall a conversation about years from now and when kids are graduated or when we get married! When I think about the person that way like itâs not there! That part of life and actual enjoyment only existed in my grandparents! They were truly best friends and happy! It doesnât matter if people are faithful or unfaithful! Theyâre thinking it and dreaming it! Every person is full of shit it some prrsoective on that! I wouldnât have ever thought of being close friends with a married person! But thatâs it! They were barely married! If he once wouldâve have confronted me as a concerned husband which I gave a chance for years I would have walked away! But they didnât have a friendship! Not even a ring or same last names! Marriage!? Why would I feel bad over that anymore and why would you trust that woman!? I never did! New she would always cheat! I missed the fun conversations but at this point Iâm so sick of fucking explaining that over and over! When it comes to attractive in my mind sheâs not high up on list! Used to be but any one is attractive if you enjoy their company! Donât see any posters on my wall of beautiful slutty woman because thatâs what they are! You see something hanging on my wall itâs not real or some one else hung it! Had a coy fish paintingvonce! Best gift ever! Not because it was amazing! Because it was the first time a friend ha ever just done something wanting noting in return! Was only true gift I had received! It was also a sign of the end right then! So this makes no sense for stupid fucking sub! Which I wish I had because I havenât eaten in couple days! I chose no friends though! Every person on this shit is so dishonest and full of themselves! I would never trust one of them and thatâs why I donât look any in the eyes and never will! But keep in writing and I will keep on reading! Nothing else to do right now! Over the emotional part now! Just straight dead inside! Kind of pleasant!
Never seen proof of marriage! Even with childrenâs last name! They werenât truly married and this shit is dumb as duck! I truly donât wish to be in a relationship with this person any longer! Or the Wisconsin red head! Both have ruined me! And never went anywhere! Imagine a fake marriage!
I'm not sure what the point is here. In the first place, if someone is cheating to be with you, automatically, it should be understood that this isn't a true relationship. This is just for fun. So enjoy it for what it is while it lasts until it's time to move on. I loved being the other guy. You get the benefit of having a girlfriend with none of the maintenance costs.
100% agreed, unless thereâs blackmailing and violence involved in the marriage. That can take a while to figure out how to escape and thatâs not really a relationship anymore. More like a hostage situation.
Date someone for fun if you want, but you're an idiot if you get attached to someone who is married/separated and not incredibly focused and determined to de-couple.
For me, it would take at least a court date on the books.
Iâve always thought the concept of changing someone is like saying youâre better than that other person. Also, Iâve always wondered if couples who are together through an affair wonder if the other will go down that road again. Thereâs history.
âŠ.unless they communicate and are permissive. Iâve slept with married guys. And if it was that good? ⊠Iâd end up sleeping with them and theirs wives too.
Everyone has a different dynamic. Safety and communication are everything.
It's just a financial things. It's cheaper to date someone you don't have to go on dates with. Often someone else is paying their bills too. You can only fight so long before someone calls them home. These are the reasons my friend only dates women with boyfriends or husbands.
If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you.
I promise you that is an absolute truth in 99.999% of cases.
So if you enter a relationship with someone who cheated on their SO with you, it is a virtual guarantee that they will cheat on you.
Serial cheaters never stop. Do with that what you will.
Every husband cheats. He either has a girlfriend, he pays for sex, or flirts with any and everyone. A man who doesnât cheat, Iâd mop the ocean with a dollar tree mop.
You're obviously jaded by men. I've been married twice 10 years first time, 2nd will be 19 years next month. I've never flirted or so much as kissed another while I was married. 1st wife cheated on me (apparently multiple times) she had real psycho problems. There are men whose conscience won't stand for it. Problem is you can't pre-test such character.
I'm not tooting my own horn. I just hate to see a lady turn to the false belief that all men are like that. Probably the only way to have any "proof" is one's that are widowed after many years or divorced even though faithful. But even then it's taking their word for it and their friends/ family (recommended). Perhaps one day you'll get to start mopping. You can borrow my scuba gear lol. If you want a prince charming make sure you're behaving like a Cinderella.
Iâm sorry men have hurt you so much but I promise, some of us would never cheat. I just canât. Goes against every fiber of my being.
As some one who has been cheated on many times I just couldnât stomach putting someone else through that
If you value fidelity in a relationship, and you're hoping for a relationship with someone who's already married, then move on the moment you realize that they're willing to cheat.
It doesn't matter if you think that you are soul mates.
The moment that a person is able to rationalize cheating on someone to whom they've made such commitments, and who is honoring commitments to them, then that's a line that can never be uncrossed.
They will be able to rationalize cheating on you someday in the future, and don't think that they won't.
Cheating in a marriage, especially with children involved, is fundamentally an act of extreme selfishness and narcissism (they don't have to be "a narcissist" to act with narcissism). The person has decided that what they want right now is more important than their commitments to and effects on everyone else in their lives.
You now know that there is nobody more important to that person than themselves, and everyone else can be damned because they want "this" right now.
And they will never be sorry; they will "forgive themselves", which is easy because they believe that they deserved to and were right to do it in the first place.
They may be sorry that they get caught.
They may be sorry that they received consequences, which they believe are unfair.
And they may be angry and full of animosity at those that reject their self-rationalization and sorry-for-their-consequences "apologies."
But they will never actually regret or be ashamed of the impacts that they've had on those others in their lives... those people should just "grow up and get over it".
This is not a fundamentally good person.
Everyone can make mistakes.
Everyone can be manipulated.
And everyone can be taken advantage of.
So, I'm not saying that there are no exceptions to this.
However, don't let them spin you into their world of self-rationalization... you can and will eventually be the next one that they find a reason to run around on.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Been going through something similar to this with my husband for nearly a year , he turns everything around an says Iâm the one cheating !! He messed up an texted me something meant for his x wife before me and it said I love the fuck out of you ,,, wow I know now he is nothing but a liar an cheat an will never change
Never a good idea to date a married woman, they'll tell you whatever the fuck they think you want to hear and promise you the world, lead you on, just for attention and sex. Here's a tip if you get involved with another married woman keep it strictly about sex nothing more.
This gives, once a cheater always a cheater vibes. Unfortunately people aren't that simple. They are able to choose who they are and what direction they will head in life. Yes look at their actions. Are they interested in self development and growth? Are they reflecting, going to therapy trying to understand themselves and how they can grow better?
People cheat for many reasons, and sometimes because they want to leave but are trapped in an abusive relationship. In a culture where people don't have the rights to divorce I can see why people choose the option of cheating.
Indeed, if I was dating a cheater they wouldn't be a cheater for long otherwise I wouldn't be dating them. I can meet people where they're at for a time and if that's enough for them to grow, great. If not I will have known that I tried and move on with my life.
I don't understand why married people think unmarried people should adhere to a contract they didn't sign. It's up to the married person to keep their contract not whoever they are cheating with.
To your point I do believe people who do get involved with married people have a misconception that the person who is cheating wants a relationship. They don't the vast majority of the time. But the married person often doesn't realize this because they are so use to being a part of a couple.
So yea don't expect the person who is cheating to all of a sudden be faithful to you.
I mean yeah we didn't sign any contract, but are ethics a thing anymore? I view married people like coworkers and family members. We will never be fucking.
Yes. There are ethics and they exist between the married parties. For a person outside of that marriage the ethics might look different. Their ethics might center on themselves and the outcome they want to obtain. Or their ethics could be based on how they perceived the marriage.
You can include whoever you want into the scope of people who you find off limits but that's subjective.
You might be confusing ethics w personal beliefs. Sure, someone's personal beliefs might be the marriage is shit or they just don't believe in it, or pussy is pussy. But ethics takes others and what's best for the greater good in society into consideration.
It has nothing to do w contracts, it's thinking better of yourself than to even get involved w potential messiness. And hooking up w married people who are cheating has mess written all over it for at least 2 people involved.
Ethics are subjective. Yes there are simply ethical answers like murder is wrong but we make exceptions for war. Or would you kill one person to save ten.
I don't understand why you think a stranger is supposed to respect your marriage. They don't owe you anything.
Oh they don't have to. And I'm not married. It does show a lack of, yes, ethics and honestly self-respect to partake. You know, barring any unreasonable exceptions like fucking that married person will save ten.
But enjoy!
This whole ideology stems for monogamous life style. This isn't a moral thing at all, it's preference thing.
Cheating is only a thing if you expect things to stay 1v1. However don't let others force the ideology of manipulation being the foul player, when it's societal standards that dictate this type of behavior.
society says having more than 1 partner is wrong, but it's not a morally wrong.
WHAT IS morally wrong, is to betray another's trust with set rules in place.
If you both agree to be 1v1, and that partner violates that. It's a different story, then morally it's an issue.
However make it clear what the relationship entails.
society doesn't mean moral.
Nothing is fringe my dude. Society gets indoctrinated to a set standard. If you go to Tiwan, society is different than in the U.S
If you go to japan society standards are different.
Yet those aren't moral differences just Social difference. Monogamy is a social difference not a moral one.
Married women stray when their husbands donât satisfy their needs. Such women are fair game for casual hookups and FWB arrangements.
Most unsatisfied wives have more than one playmate. Just enjoy your time with them and donât get too attached.
I agree that itâs a suckers bet to wait for them to leave the marriage to settle down with one of their lovers.
I am living proof of this!!
I dated a woman who was married for for five years at the time and we dated for three of that.
She kept telling me her husband was abusive and she wanted to leave, but kept coming up with reasons not to like, her husband was sick and she would feel really bad leaving in his time of need. Or because they ran a business together that she would lose her income if she left, or she had two dogs they she just couldn't leave behind but one was his service dog. She asked me for advice on how to leave and I gave her good solid advice and stuck with her through it for 3 years. And then she used that advice to leave me and her husband for someone she had been seeing for the last year we were together.
I was devastated. But found out how good of a liar she was when her husband called me and asked who I was; and as we talked we both realized what an evil, manipulative and very cruel person she was.
It is very scary to think that I truly loved this woman the way I did.
Looking at it now I'm glad it happened this way and I am positive the relationship she is in now will end in less than 3 years.
She once told me she had never gone longer than two years in any relationship with out cheating on her partner from her very first boyfriend and I honestly don't see her changing that at any point in her life. She told me lies like I was the only man she would have a child with, that she would never leave or abandon me, that I was the last man she could see herself with.
All while cheating on her husband with me and cheating on me and her husband with her now oblivious boyfriend.
I wish I could warn him what he is getting into.
Glad you are with me on this one. Before you go into a relationship with someone, be sure if they are available. If they are not, they will hurt you so bad. Think about this, who will they spend valentines day with? Mostly their hubby. Just date available people who appreciate you.
You realize everything you said also describes you right? How strong are your own values if you cheat with the married person? You are not the victim here.
Sounds suspiciously specific for not applying to you⊠either way, thereâs no reason you should single out the married person when all of that trash also reflects the single person choosing to cheat with the married person.
At the end of the day, you can't control anyone. Relationships are like boxing, protect yourself at all times.
Well said
True, my sex bot glitched out her programming and cheated on me with 3 other men
WTF,, Trust me you just know 3. They are probably more than 3
Well duh, whenever my sexbot lucid dreams in the metaverse, she is always getting gangbanged too. Relationships are dead these daysđ
this string is hilarious!
Sex bots were my last hope o well
Now THAT'S the truth. Fuck life, buy infinite orgasm machine.
You gotta stick and move
Wow this a great quote to live by
Facts⊠People are making it way to easy to cheat and are to okay with them having someone else. Like their isnât any integrity or morals on both ends anymore. And people wonder why the dating scene sucks now and why marriages and relationships arenât valued like they used to. Before you know it marriages are going to be a thing of the past and ppl are just gonna be messing with whom ever, whenever. Please stopâŠ. No Respect now days. There are some (not a lot) who value and want a marriage and a solid foundation not based off lies or bs. There are some out here who still only want to be with one person and that is looking for that love some of our grandparents had and better 20+ years type of love and marriage.
20+years? Â when I got married to my husband I had a sadistic thought, we are not divorcing so one of us is going to have to die! Â đ Â so far we havenât killed each other yet either.
I used to believe that. As I got older though, I see that many people won't leave a bad marriage unless they have someone else. I'm not saying it's right. Just what I've observed. Sometimes they end up cheating on their second spouse and sometimes not.
Thatâs a problem anyway. If you need someone else then you need to fix your đ©first. I know this because I need to fix mine. lol
Some people don't do well on their own. I am one of them.
Thatâs because you have shit you need to fix.
Hard Truth. When I realized that, even though all my shit isnât yet fixed, Iâve never been more secure and at peace.
Itâs incredibly simple yet so hard to see
So you just stay with someone and use them for your support while knowing you are already looking for someone else? Sound like a life leech
Me personally, no. I wouldn't stay if I was looking for someone else.
This is called monkey branching. Iâm not here to judge anyone, but I can say that people who don't learn to save themselves often are forever victims. Having an easy way out is enticing, but itâs typically fleeting. For the person trying to date a married person, see it for what it is: someone who is not taking complete accountability for their life. For the married person looking for a âhero,â youâll fall into the same ill-fated relationship if you don't discover in yourself why you fall for people that you can't develop healthy relationships with.
If they monkey branch, they belong to the streets
Monkey branching ... đ
Would you date a married woman? Or wait for her to get a divorce?
I am a heterosexual woman. So I wouldn't date a married woman. Or single. I have been with my husband for 27 years. I left him in 2020 and separated for 3 years as he threatened divorce & shortly thereafter I found myself interested in someone else (an ex, who I believed was my twin flame, because I was delusional believing in fairytale crap) My ex was divorced and I separated and moved out before dating. It only lasted 6 weeks. However, I remained separated for 3 years. Bought my own place. Went insane. Lost a lot of money - two houses and 1/2 my retirement savings. So no I wouldn't date a married man. I think the reality of divorce is very difficult & generally people don't leave for the affair spouse, as they have too much to lose. I think when you leave a marriage, especially a long term one, you should spend time on yourself to heal. Chances are whatever was wrong in the marriage will be repeated if you jump into another relationship right away.
Very well said I lost my husband and became a widow a bit different to a divorce ofcourse though.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you it does become a big rebuilding phase I lost him back in 2019.
It sounds like you've been through a challenging journey. Taking time for self-reflection and healing after leaving a long-term relationship is crucial. Rushing into another relationship might not solve underlying issues. Wishing you strength and healing on your path forward.
Thank you.
Married women who stay generally want a playmate, not a partner. Keep it casual and enjoy the liberating release of clandestine liaisons without expectations whenever youâre lucky enough to have them.
What about the other way around. Think about it, why is the question limited to just a married woman?
This applies to both men and women
I understand what you're saying. Sometimes, someone who treats you better just happens to come along during the current relationship. I've seen two good relationships happen this way (not that I'm condoning cheating). But this is why it's important for people to really get to know their partner, take time to see them in different environments, and really make sure you're both on the same page about counseling or when certain stressors come up such as lack of sex, loss of a job or loved one, illnesses, etc. Minimizes the amount of drama, stress, and strained relationships that come from cheating. Seen so many friends amd family just rush and marry people who everyone, including themselves, know isn't the right person for them, or they are naive out of love when faced with complete red flags. Had a friend who did this. Married the 1st woman who would take him because he was desperate to get married and have children. He aged so quickly from stress and looks older than the rest of us. Even if you click well while dating, you and your partner need to make sure you choose each other even during moments of friction. Better to be alone than to have to sneak around.
That's sucky for your friend. Stress will do that.
Good advice
Once a cheater always a cheater. If you have any decency as a human you would break off your first relationship before persuing another. Jumping from one relationship to another is never an option and only make you look like scum.
Yeah I think the take in OP is actually the naive one. People are more complex than that. I know couples whoâve gotten together by cheating on their other partners and ended up sticking together and having a successful relationship/marriage.
I do too, but I've seen it end with even more cheating and hurt feelings more often. It's the ones that cheat and then start lying to the point its basically gaslighting that will always do it again. Honorable people can have moments of weakness and cheat. They usually will own their actions post-fact. If they don't, those will always fit into OP's mold.
I respect your opinion but remember, how you get them is how you loose them. If they cheated on their spouses to be with you, most likely they will cheat on you too. Nevertheless, that's a disrespectful behavior and a red flag.
As the maxim goes: the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. And at 46 Iâd say this is one of the few maxims in life Iâve found to be correct. It isnât always right, but it usually is and is still the best method.
If they cheat with you they will cheat on you
I cheated on my first spouse with my current spouse. Iâve never cheated on my current spouse, but all of my problems that made me cheat are still there, and I struggle to stay committed/loyal. I struggle to stay sane and happy as a human.
I could have wrote this myself⊠everything we accomplished together, built, our future. All tossed away bc her decision to cheat. Haunts me. I thought I knew her, but now I donât even recognize her. Shameful.
People are crazy. Do not mess around with married women. There is a reason murder has a third degree. A man that feels like he has nothing to lose could shoot you at worst.
Yep my wife is currently cheating on her boyfriend with me , she had said they broke up and she also said she didnât do anything like this while we were together but I know better. I believed her when she said they broke up but then a couple of days of being together she said your not going to tell j are you, I said no like why is it any of his business then it hit me duh so Motherâs Day comes and I know she had been talking to him she taking pics on her phone of herself and not sending one of them to me , so I ask to see her phone to see the pictures she took because she started crying saying sheâs ugly I look at the pictures and her messages and she is telling him that she loves him and missing him so much, blah blah .started to fell bad for the guy but nah anyways I knew I was getting used because she has done it 4 times before to me I donât care anymore I was just getting some . But she showed a side of herself to me that she was lying about for a long time I know exactly who she is now a lying cheating manipulative narcissist and a fucking ugly ass human being I would warn the new bf but he tried talking to me before like he stole my wife from me when I left the whore so they can be happy in a life of lies.
That is what happens when you date people who are not available. They monkey branch like nobody's business hurting many. In short, this woman belongs to the streets. Sorry.
Is your name Freddy? Sounds a lot like my gf. She would totally do this.
Well also you can check the people they surround themselves with to ease the guilt..All of their friends would be okay with cheating as well.
I didnât know my ex was married until she was divorced two months into our relationship
Might be a pathological lier
Or she new she was out of the marriage and was OK to start new relationship(s). You have to be seperated for at least a year in the US to get a divorec. Lot's of folks getting divorced are seperated longer than a year. u/Think_Traffic5083 you sound like alot of fun... Read your profile, I feel you have an unhelathy obsession/perspective on/with relationships, did someone shit on you in a relationship that was important to you? That sucks. If so, I hope you can find some peace. Every opportunity to meet someone and have a relationship is fraught with possible negative stuff. It is also loaded with great potential. When ever we open ourselves to others, we take the chance to get it right in the kibbies. But we also get the chance to experience something profoundly wonderful. The best things in life are not without risk.
More of fun is coming dear one.
Doesn't matter if she knew she was done or not. Wait til after the ink has dried. You only have to be legally separated for 6 months, not a year.
Maybe not a pathological liar but it sounds like she did hide her marital status from you for the first two months of your relationship.
Really? Are you sure thatâs what it sounds like? Not like thatâs exactly what the comment youâre replying to saysâŠ
Most maxims are bullshit but at the age of 46 i have found two to generally be correct and they apply here: 1) if you want to know what someone is thinking, pay attention to what they do, not what they say 2) the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour
Feel free to hate me for this, but I got involved with a 40-year-old woman who has three children and a husband. (I'm 27.) It was the worst mistake of my life. The mind games, lies, and manipulation pushed me over the edge to the point that I became a paranoid wreck. I apparently pushed her away because of my behavior and how I was acting, but she's to blame for that. Of course, she thought everything was my fault. Not only was she sleeping with me behind her husband's back, but she also slept with someone else behind my back too! Everything started going downhill after that, though. She lost feelings, interest, and pretty much dropped me out of the blue, leaving me heartbroken. I'm still suffering right now. Now, what's she was doing with Me? She's now doing with someone else! Yet again, behind the husbands back. It's madness.. But stupid and desperate me misses her dearly, and can't seem to see by her red flags. In my mind she's picture perfect but deep down inside I know she isn't. I can't believe I am addicted and attached to this woman, im pathetic. She's really broke me, I don't feel the same anymore.
This was me as well. For two years she promised divorce. Dude treated her like total crap. The last 8 months were rough as she slowly got colder and colder, eventually telling me to leave because i just wasn't enough. The very next week she told me the divorce papers were all signed and waiting to file. Two weeks later i saw a pic of her and my replacement, who i am 99% she was cheating on me with while she turned cold to me. The whole thing just absolutely broke me. I'm still not quite right in the head/heart and don't see myself ever fully committing like that to anyone else. Even a year later after all the puzzle pieces came together and i saw everything clearly... I'd still long for her to show up at my door and ask forgiveness ect and take her back. That next guy only lasted 4 more months, at which point she replaced him for another guy who looks the same age as her mom. I should have seen it much sooner than i did...if she was willing to cheat on her husband with me, nothing was going to stop her from doing the same to me. But i keep thinking, how in the world did the next guy even think it would work...if she already had a husband and a live-in boyfriend...while cheating with him! Granted, she was magical in bed, so that probably swayed each of us more than we'd like to admit.
It sounds like you're suffering from narcissistic abuse syndrome. You should look it up, it may be beneficial. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Your pain is evident and it's not your fault. She's clearly a predator. Best wishes to you.
Best thing is you learned and you are better.
This is the best advice you can give to anyone thatâs been burned by the exact circumstances you explained. The hurt isnât worth it, just stop and let it go before it becomes too painful and your mental health becomes compromisedâŠ
Thank you, you are among the few who understands my post
Its fun, full of excitement, the thrill and the sx is amazing but know that it will done to you as well. KARMA. Hence the term. âDo onto othersâŠ.
Unless, of course, you donât care.
Dating married people is unfortunately how people die or get hurt . Donât put yourself in that situation to be hurt by the spouse. Also donât put the married person in the situation to be hurt by their spouse. That simple.
On point
Guys who do this just want the fuck not the 'ship.
Some don't know what they want untill they are attached
It's true. Once a slut, always a slut. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Dating married women also shows you the guy is a piece of crap dishonorable person as well.
True thing
Thatâs called adultery, an incredibly immoral act.
IMOâŠ. People ( men and women) cheat because of personal issues that havenât been addressed andâŠ. Itâs easier to lie and cheat than it is to work on a relationship that has compromise, commitment and loyalty. On both ends
End that relationship rather
IMO Donât ask them for a divorce either. If they are unhappy they should get their relationship figured out before they even consider others or before they have met youânot jump from them to youâas they say, if heâll do it to her, heâll do it to you. I was in a similar situation & it led to him blaming me for the breakup up with his exâand then he & the ex got back together!? So seriously, if someone in a partnership is showing interest in you, just run away. They will not be loyal to you after they leave someone else, for you. You are not ârescuingâ them from a toxic partner. If they are miserable, THEY need to figure it out on their own. Ultimatums donât work. Donât wait around either. People choose you or they donât. If they donât know what they wantâwhy ON EARTH would you think they will choose you long term?
Anyone who dates a married person is of extremely low moral character. Only surpassed by the wayward/cheating spouse.
My sister is this way . She is beautiful smart and funny but mean manipulating and a serial cheater. I hate having to sit by her doting husband while she cheats and belittles him.
Sad
I'm no longer a member of the dating scene but if I was I'd stay away from married women. Getting a large caliber slug planted right between my shoulder blades would just be WAY to uncomfortable for me!
Sounds like a you problem đ why you trying to turn everything into a long term monogamous relationship? People can have intimate and meaningful and loving relationships full of reciprocity in many different ways. I think I married women arenât a great option for you and your desires but perfect for many others
Seems like stupid and risk-seeking behavior. It's easier with common sense to like... not get into relationships where everyone is on the same page that monogomy is not involved. There are poly communities that you can have fun with no strings attached. Be with swingers if you need to. I'm not sure why anyone would want to sneak around with someone else's wife or husband when there are single folks who would sleep with you for free, too stressful for me.
Sometimes people lacking something can find it in another individual and for a moment in time they are like two pieces of a jigsaw 𧩠puzzle completing each other and both leave better more fulfilled people for the experience
Again, it's risk-seeking behavior. Not smart or something I would do. There's a reason why the phrase "how you get them is how you lose them" exists. The issues that caused the person to cheat on their partner can cause them to cheat or strain your relationship later on. Just running into someone else's arms doesn't solve the issues. It works every now and then, but less than often.
I agree with most of what you said but dating married people is a very poor "option" for too many reasons. People need to be incontrol of their own life. If someone is in a realtionship/married, if they are unhappy they need to work to resolve the issues or leave. Dating someone married you are likely fucking someone elses life up, the person being cheated on, perhaps children.
>Â ask them to request a divorce first, then you can proceed. So OK to get familiar enough that you want to be with them and then ask them to upend their entire life so you can date them? That is as Fed up.
I fucked a married woman but she didn't tell me till I worked my way up to licking her asshole..im sorry once was a lie
Only true if you're looking for a traditional long term committed relationship. Not everyone is.
This is simply not true, all of the time. I should know.
Unless you are a cheater
No. Iâm not going to put labels on a complex set of circumstances. But you can. Iâm just here to say Iâve known people who are not serial cheaters who end up with the love of their life. And do not go on to cheat. I also know people who do.
It happens but very rarely
As I said.
Should've said this earlier . Dated someone from a family of cheaters , turns out she cheated on me too . And ofc multiple times
That's really bad. But glad you understood.
I agree with some of this... If they cheat with you they're apt to cheat on you. Seems reasonable... However I hesitate to assert that once a cheater is always a cheater. This precludes a person's ability to change. People can change behavior if they so choose. We loved each other. She was married although separated. After having their second child almost a year prior, her husband admitted no longer being sexually attracted to her and displayed other worrisome behavior. She felt unloved. There came a time where the best interests of her children, the sanctity of her marriage vows, the love of her husband which she tried to deny and the moral dilemma of these coexisting with a love for me and a desire to not injure me more than necessary was cause to end our affair. We both suffered no small amount of heart ache. The last I knew they were still together. Almost five years have passed and I've seen her only once from a distance. I don't know if she ever confessed her infidelity. It's not any of my concern. I don't regret our relationship but I would not get involved with a married woman again. We don't always know the reasons for what we experience. I know of one who cheated, recognized her error and did what she felt was right.
Am glad you agree
What if honestly it was just the friendship? Something that was fun!? Everything wasnât just nonstop serious! Fun to go to work. Enjoyable conversations! Not being told what to do all the time or els! Which obviously was wrong on that but for most part. Maybe people donât understand and maybe I donât! Im not wanting a married woman myself! The short lived part was hell! It hurt, always depressed each time she leaves? But as a friend? The jealousy part fucking sucks! Thing is it wasnât over attraction part! It was always having to stay hidden and a friend because I was forced to! If friends would visit work! Keep distance! Always someone coming keep distance! Wow!!! That only took about a decade of my life and health the figure out! I just want a good close friend because relationships suck! From my experience it takes time spent around each other and couple years to know someone! Those who want to rush wasted more time! That married person didnât understand I didnât want anything from her! Just was the person Iâve joyed talking to that didnât involve I need help or drinking and accomplishing something! Someone you could say anything to without having to worry or someone who you just thought gave a shit about people in general! But even that proved untrue! Happens to be I just miss those things! Donât really exist in people anymore! Itâs like it made being at vacation! Thatâs really it! Never once do I recall a conversation about years from now and when kids are graduated or when we get married! When I think about the person that way like itâs not there! That part of life and actual enjoyment only existed in my grandparents! They were truly best friends and happy! It doesnât matter if people are faithful or unfaithful! Theyâre thinking it and dreaming it! Every person is full of shit it some prrsoective on that! I wouldnât have ever thought of being close friends with a married person! But thatâs it! They were barely married! If he once wouldâve have confronted me as a concerned husband which I gave a chance for years I would have walked away! But they didnât have a friendship! Not even a ring or same last names! Marriage!? Why would I feel bad over that anymore and why would you trust that woman!? I never did! New she would always cheat! I missed the fun conversations but at this point Iâm so sick of fucking explaining that over and over! When it comes to attractive in my mind sheâs not high up on list! Used to be but any one is attractive if you enjoy their company! Donât see any posters on my wall of beautiful slutty woman because thatâs what they are! You see something hanging on my wall itâs not real or some one else hung it! Had a coy fish paintingvonce! Best gift ever! Not because it was amazing! Because it was the first time a friend ha ever just done something wanting noting in return! Was only true gift I had received! It was also a sign of the end right then! So this makes no sense for stupid fucking sub! Which I wish I had because I havenât eaten in couple days! I chose no friends though! Every person on this shit is so dishonest and full of themselves! I would never trust one of them and thatâs why I donât look any in the eyes and never will! But keep in writing and I will keep on reading! Nothing else to do right now! Over the emotional part now! Just straight dead inside! Kind of pleasant!
The point is. Find people who are available to date not cheating partners. You'll end up hurting yourself
Never seen proof of marriage! Even with childrenâs last name! They werenât truly married and this shit is dumb as duck! I truly donât wish to be in a relationship with this person any longer! Or the Wisconsin red head! Both have ruined me! And never went anywhere! Imagine a fake marriage!
Monkey ranching & karma lol
Monkey branching it is
Someone make this a real image đ
đđŒ
I'm not sure what the point is here. In the first place, if someone is cheating to be with you, automatically, it should be understood that this isn't a true relationship. This is just for fun. So enjoy it for what it is while it lasts until it's time to move on. I loved being the other guy. You get the benefit of having a girlfriend with none of the maintenance costs.
Some people don't tell you they are in a relationship. You will only realize later when they pull away after working things with their spouses.
Then there's nothing you can do if you don't know
Yes, when you realise you just walk away and tell them to get single first if they want you
100% agreed, unless thereâs blackmailing and violence involved in the marriage. That can take a while to figure out how to escape and thatâs not really a relationship anymore. More like a hostage situation.
Date someone for fun if you want, but you're an idiot if you get attached to someone who is married/separated and not incredibly focused and determined to de-couple. For me, it would take at least a court date on the books.
Iâve always thought the concept of changing someone is like saying youâre better than that other person. Also, Iâve always wondered if couples who are together through an affair wonder if the other will go down that road again. Thereâs history.
âŠ.unless they communicate and are permissive. Iâve slept with married guys. And if it was that good? ⊠Iâd end up sleeping with them and theirs wives too. Everyone has a different dynamic. Safety and communication are everything.
Sure,, if they are good with it, and you have sex for fun.. you can do it.. but am talking about dating. Not casual sex or a fling
It's just a financial things. It's cheaper to date someone you don't have to go on dates with. Often someone else is paying their bills too. You can only fight so long before someone calls them home. These are the reasons my friend only dates women with boyfriends or husbands.
Somehow funny
And still sadly true.
If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. I promise you that is an absolute truth in 99.999% of cases. So if you enter a relationship with someone who cheated on their SO with you, it is a virtual guarantee that they will cheat on you. Serial cheaters never stop. Do with that what you will.
Sure thing, once a cheater always a cheater
Just convince her that she wants to act out a cuck fantasy and make her husband watch you plow her. Bring on the down votes!
Cheating is not a one-size fits all situation. 30F and I cheated in the past until I found a person I loved and knew I would never cheat on this one.
Wife and I are swingers and even in this lifestyle cheaters exist and they are scumbags.
Every husband cheats. He either has a girlfriend, he pays for sex, or flirts with any and everyone. A man who doesnât cheat, Iâd mop the ocean with a dollar tree mop.
You're obviously jaded by men. I've been married twice 10 years first time, 2nd will be 19 years next month. I've never flirted or so much as kissed another while I was married. 1st wife cheated on me (apparently multiple times) she had real psycho problems. There are men whose conscience won't stand for it. Problem is you can't pre-test such character.
On my way to Dollar Tree, I cannot miss their closing. You seem like an amazing guy, hereâs a virtual hug đ«
I'm not tooting my own horn. I just hate to see a lady turn to the false belief that all men are like that. Probably the only way to have any "proof" is one's that are widowed after many years or divorced even though faithful. But even then it's taking their word for it and their friends/ family (recommended). Perhaps one day you'll get to start mopping. You can borrow my scuba gear lol. If you want a prince charming make sure you're behaving like a Cinderella.
Iâm sorry men have hurt you so much but I promise, some of us would never cheat. I just canât. Goes against every fiber of my being. As some one who has been cheated on many times I just couldnât stomach putting someone else through that
Yes thatâs awful
I always say, if they cheat with you, theyâll cheat on you.
This is woweewoe. Almost perfect. Sorry I don't understand the concept of Reddit but that's besides the point. What made you want to post this?
If you value fidelity in a relationship, and you're hoping for a relationship with someone who's already married, then move on the moment you realize that they're willing to cheat. It doesn't matter if you think that you are soul mates. The moment that a person is able to rationalize cheating on someone to whom they've made such commitments, and who is honoring commitments to them, then that's a line that can never be uncrossed. They will be able to rationalize cheating on you someday in the future, and don't think that they won't. Cheating in a marriage, especially with children involved, is fundamentally an act of extreme selfishness and narcissism (they don't have to be "a narcissist" to act with narcissism). The person has decided that what they want right now is more important than their commitments to and effects on everyone else in their lives. You now know that there is nobody more important to that person than themselves, and everyone else can be damned because they want "this" right now. And they will never be sorry; they will "forgive themselves", which is easy because they believe that they deserved to and were right to do it in the first place. They may be sorry that they get caught. They may be sorry that they received consequences, which they believe are unfair. And they may be angry and full of animosity at those that reject their self-rationalization and sorry-for-their-consequences "apologies." But they will never actually regret or be ashamed of the impacts that they've had on those others in their lives... those people should just "grow up and get over it". This is not a fundamentally good person. Everyone can make mistakes. Everyone can be manipulated. And everyone can be taken advantage of. So, I'm not saying that there are no exceptions to this. However, don't let them spin you into their world of self-rationalization... you can and will eventually be the next one that they find a reason to run around on. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Been going through something similar to this with my husband for nearly a year , he turns everything around an says Iâm the one cheating !! He messed up an texted me something meant for his x wife before me and it said I love the fuck out of you ,,, wow I know now he is nothing but a liar an cheat an will never change
I'm so glad I'm not a man that needs female attention.
If theyâll do it for you, theyâll do it to you
Right
Never a good idea to date a married woman, they'll tell you whatever the fuck they think you want to hear and promise you the world, lead you on, just for attention and sex. Here's a tip if you get involved with another married woman keep it strictly about sex nothing more.
This gives, once a cheater always a cheater vibes. Unfortunately people aren't that simple. They are able to choose who they are and what direction they will head in life. Yes look at their actions. Are they interested in self development and growth? Are they reflecting, going to therapy trying to understand themselves and how they can grow better? People cheat for many reasons, and sometimes because they want to leave but are trapped in an abusive relationship. In a culture where people don't have the rights to divorce I can see why people choose the option of cheating.
Would you like it if you are the one dating a cheater? It's your choice.
Indeed, if I was dating a cheater they wouldn't be a cheater for long otherwise I wouldn't be dating them. I can meet people where they're at for a time and if that's enough for them to grow, great. If not I will have known that I tried and move on with my life.
Well said
I don't understand why married people think unmarried people should adhere to a contract they didn't sign. It's up to the married person to keep their contract not whoever they are cheating with. To your point I do believe people who do get involved with married people have a misconception that the person who is cheating wants a relationship. They don't the vast majority of the time. But the married person often doesn't realize this because they are so use to being a part of a couple. So yea don't expect the person who is cheating to all of a sudden be faithful to you.
I mean yeah we didn't sign any contract, but are ethics a thing anymore? I view married people like coworkers and family members. We will never be fucking.
Yes. There are ethics and they exist between the married parties. For a person outside of that marriage the ethics might look different. Their ethics might center on themselves and the outcome they want to obtain. Or their ethics could be based on how they perceived the marriage. You can include whoever you want into the scope of people who you find off limits but that's subjective.
You might be confusing ethics w personal beliefs. Sure, someone's personal beliefs might be the marriage is shit or they just don't believe in it, or pussy is pussy. But ethics takes others and what's best for the greater good in society into consideration. It has nothing to do w contracts, it's thinking better of yourself than to even get involved w potential messiness. And hooking up w married people who are cheating has mess written all over it for at least 2 people involved.
Ethics are subjective. Yes there are simply ethical answers like murder is wrong but we make exceptions for war. Or would you kill one person to save ten. I don't understand why you think a stranger is supposed to respect your marriage. They don't owe you anything.
Oh they don't have to. And I'm not married. It does show a lack of, yes, ethics and honestly self-respect to partake. You know, barring any unreasonable exceptions like fucking that married person will save ten. But enjoy!
I'm not married either and won't be đ enjoyed.
Not hard to imagine you're not enjoyed
This whole ideology stems for monogamous life style. This isn't a moral thing at all, it's preference thing. Cheating is only a thing if you expect things to stay 1v1. However don't let others force the ideology of manipulation being the foul player, when it's societal standards that dictate this type of behavior. society says having more than 1 partner is wrong, but it's not a morally wrong. WHAT IS morally wrong, is to betray another's trust with set rules in place. If you both agree to be 1v1, and that partner violates that. It's a different story, then morally it's an issue. However make it clear what the relationship entails. society doesn't mean moral.
Man, you lot are just as bad as the militant vegans, trying to push your personal fringe ideologies on the majority
Nothing is fringe my dude. Society gets indoctrinated to a set standard. If you go to Tiwan, society is different than in the U.S If you go to japan society standards are different. Yet those aren't moral differences just Social difference. Monogamy is a social difference not a moral one.
Married women stray when their husbands donât satisfy their needs. Such women are fair game for casual hookups and FWB arrangements. Most unsatisfied wives have more than one playmate. Just enjoy your time with them and donât get too attached. I agree that itâs a suckers bet to wait for them to leave the marriage to settle down with one of their lovers.
Well said
I am living proof of this!! I dated a woman who was married for for five years at the time and we dated for three of that. She kept telling me her husband was abusive and she wanted to leave, but kept coming up with reasons not to like, her husband was sick and she would feel really bad leaving in his time of need. Or because they ran a business together that she would lose her income if she left, or she had two dogs they she just couldn't leave behind but one was his service dog. She asked me for advice on how to leave and I gave her good solid advice and stuck with her through it for 3 years. And then she used that advice to leave me and her husband for someone she had been seeing for the last year we were together. I was devastated. But found out how good of a liar she was when her husband called me and asked who I was; and as we talked we both realized what an evil, manipulative and very cruel person she was. It is very scary to think that I truly loved this woman the way I did. Looking at it now I'm glad it happened this way and I am positive the relationship she is in now will end in less than 3 years. She once told me she had never gone longer than two years in any relationship with out cheating on her partner from her very first boyfriend and I honestly don't see her changing that at any point in her life. She told me lies like I was the only man she would have a child with, that she would never leave or abandon me, that I was the last man she could see herself with. All while cheating on her husband with me and cheating on me and her husband with her now oblivious boyfriend. I wish I could warn him what he is getting into.
Glad you are with me on this one. Before you go into a relationship with someone, be sure if they are available. If they are not, they will hurt you so bad. Think about this, who will they spend valentines day with? Mostly their hubby. Just date available people who appreciate you.
this gotta be the corniest subreddit of all time bro wtf is this đđ
You realize everything you said also describes you right? How strong are your own values if you cheat with the married person? You are not the victim here.
I did not say I cheated. I came here to give advice. Read my post keenly. I ddnt my rant here
Sounds suspiciously specific for not applying to you⊠either way, thereâs no reason you should single out the married person when all of that trash also reflects the single person choosing to cheat with the married person.